TITLE: Second Life
CHAPTER/TITLE: Chapter Twenty Six/Turning Back
RATING: T (language and mature content)
A/N: Short interim chapter. Lots of inner Jack dialogue. I know. I know. Sorry to bore you. And I know it might be confusion as Jack does different things, thinks different things, etc. He is conflicted.
P.S. These chapters are taking longer than expected! Sorry! Jack is just so indecisive and inner monologue-y right now! But, as promised, BOBBY, JERRY AND ANGEL ARE COMING SOON! Really. Bobby on Billy's turf! Exciting, yes? No? Oh….dang
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Four Brothers or Death Sentence.
Chapter Twenty Six: Turning Back
Jack didn't pay attention to the roads that he crossed or the streets he turned onto. He just drove. He had stayed at the house long enough to call for an ambulance and pathetically attempt to save the lives of both Nicholas Hume and his son. They were both unconscious by the time Joe had left and there was little to nothing Jack could do for them. Reluctantly, he had left before the police could come, casting one last long glance on the family he had helped to destroy.
Jack didn't know what he was doing or where he was going. Honestly, he didn't care. He had simply had enough. No, more than enough.
It was too much.
Why was he living a nightmare to protect someone who thought it was all a dream?
Joe didn't see danger or death. Jack was beginning to wonder if there was anything human about his brother. Joseph was an animal. He ate, slept, hunted, killed and was driven by hunger, blood thirst and sex. Is this the kind of person Jack was? Is this what jack would have become?
And yet, there were times, fleeting few moments, where Jack saw something else inside his brother.
There was pain and fear and self-loathing, all things Jack could far too easily understand.
But was it enough? Was it worth it?
Joseph would never change.
Could Jack really keep living like this for the rest of his life? Or, at least, until Bones fell to natural causes that wouldn't send all of his men after Jack.
Every time Jack took a life, he regretted it and grieved.
Yet there was one life he did desire to steal.
Bones deserved death. Joseph deserved a different childhood. Both were dreams Jack could do nothing about. If he killed Bones, his father's men would hunt him and everyone he loved down. But how many still died so the monster could live? And when Bones passed, Joseph would merely take his place.
Jack couldn't let that happen.
No matter what he had done, Joseph was his brother. His baby brother. His responsibility. He wouldn't let Joey become that man. Not ever. Jack would do whatever it took to keep that from happening.
Even if it meant putting Joseph down in the process.
The thought made Jack nearly slip into dry heaves. He couldn't kill Joe. No matter what he thought of him or how angry he became at him, the idea still left him shaking.
Still, he couldn't let it happen. He had to stop this. All of this. At whatever cost. Too many people had died. Their collective lives weren't worth Joseph's or his.
Besides, even if Jack couldn't admit it right then, there was still a part of him that was fighting to save his brother. To drag him out of that life.
Jack's mind wandered to someone else who had been described at one time as an animal. A hoodlum. Punk. Criminal. Killer. Monster.
Bobby Mercer.
His brother.
If Bobby could change, maybe there was hope for Joseph too.
Jack rolled to a stop at a crossroads, pausing at the intersection. So many thoughts and desires were pulling at him. He had wanted to save Joseph, but that he had wanted to give up. He had yearned for death, but then he had wanted to fight, for his family. And then sometimes, a darker desire. To give in. For Jack to die, and to let Billy live.
No.
Jack wasn't giving up on himself, and he wasn't going to give up on Joseph.
He was the big brother now. Bobby had saved him before. It was Jack's turn to fix things.
Swallowing down any doubts or fears, Jack entered the intersection, and turned back around.