Summary:

The episode that ripped my heart out.

CW: Gore.

They flew through the night. Luci wasn't getting any better. To settle her, Alicia stroked her hair back and whispered things into to her ear. Quinn and Travis sat beside each other, almost the same way Quinn and Chris used to. Quinn almost felt as calm as that, like they were back in time a month ago, sitting on that bus on the way back from school the day everything changed.

The pilots, Charlene and Jake, talked about how many clicks out they were. Twenty, Jake told Travis, and decided to take the chopper up higher. The helicopter shuddered, but smoothed out after a moment. And it was as Jake was talking about Lost Horse Canyon or something that a small part of glass above Alicia's head shattered. Quinn had seen it happen but the dots didn't connect until Travis started yelling.

"We're taking fire!"

"I know, I know!"

"Evading!" Charlene said. "Hold on. Eagle One to base, we've been hit."

Another hole was sent through glass. And then another. Another. Then through the metal. Quinn flinched and looked at Alicia, who was staring at them, when some burning flash of pain rocketed up across their forehead and send them doubled forward holding their face. It bled. Quinn thought they were dead, but they can't have been because they could hear Alicia screaming and they could still feel the helicopter rocking around them in the sky. And then Quinn looked at Travis, blood dribbling past their eye, and saw the deep tear up and out through his throat. Travis was holding it, holding himself, like he could keep it all together. He was sitting up straight, like he'd been hit by lightning, staring at the space in front of him. He blinked. He frowned. He swallowed. And then he looked at Quinn. They saw the blood pouring through his fingers, and his guts; unzipped and spilling out of his T-shirt. He looked at his hand; it was shaking and bloody.

"Travis?"

He held a hand out.

He said, very calmly, "Help me."

"Travis, are you hit?" Jake asked. Alarms were beeping. "I'm losing hydraulics!"

Travis was still reaching out. Quinn took his hand, like it would help. Their hair whipped their eyes and stuck to the blood on their face. The scream was in their throat. Travis! Stuck there like tar. Travis! Travis!

"Help me," he said again.

And again, "Help me."

Alicia was screaming for him. And then he let go of Quinn's hand. He opened the helicopter door. What are you doing? Quinn wanted to ask, wanted to scream. No, please. You're... You're all I have left of him.

And he said, "Help me."

Alicia was there, out of her seat, pulling him to face her. She saw his stomach. His stomach. Spilling. Travis' face was very far away. His eyes rolled back, and then he let go.

"TRAVIS!" Alicia screamed, and watched him fall fall... fall... into the night and mountains. Quinn stared at the back of her head, her hair writhing in the roaring wind, like living brown limbs. Then Jake was there. He grabbed her and put her back in her seat. Quinn too.

"He's gone," he said. "He's gone. He's gone..."

Nobody slept all night, bar Luci, who was mostly unconscious after the plane managed to land in a mountainside clearing. They hid out in the cover of tall, hollow boulders for the rain to stop, but by morning, it was still going.

Charlene was tending to Quinn's head. Just a flesh wound; one deep, straight line from their right eyebrow up to their hairline. All Quinn could do was let it clot and keep it as dry as possible. The bullet that did it went through Travis first.

"That man saved your life, kid," Charlene said. Quinn wiped their eyes. "Bullet that did this, went through your friend first."

Quinn didn't say anything. They didn't want to think about it.

"We waited too long," Jake said. "This weather won't lift for a few hours. We need to double-time it."

"Yeah, I don't see that happening with her," Charlene said. Jake didn't relent. "Okay, alright..." Charlene went to help Luci. "Alright, Luci, we're going to get you out of here."

Alicia was still trying to clean Travis' blood off her hands. She couldn't see it but Quinn knew she would feel it. They kept their distance, still feeling his blood on their hands, too.

"Hey," Jake said. "Luciana's as stable as she's going to get. Whoever shot us may still be out here."

"Why would they do that?" Alicia asked, softly—the bad kind of softly now. "Why would anyone do that?"

"Maybe no reason at all. Someone playing with a toy, but we don't know, so we gotta move." He stepped around her. "For what it's worth, Alicia, you did the right thing." Quinn was grateful someone had words for her when their own words were failing them so badly.

"Do you think that Travis is out there? That—"

"No."

"Maybe—"

"No. Nobody, nothing could survive a fall from that height."

"I know, but—"

"He's gone. And we gotta move. The wreck's a beacon. I know these mountains. I can get us home. Travis would want that."

"You don't know what Travis would want."

They walked all day. The rain stopped after a few hours, and left the ground soft and their shoes sodden. Quinn was almost used to it, the walking, even with a junky hip. It was the pain on their head, and the pain in their head, that ached the worst. It all sort of just cancelled each other out, and before long, Quinn was numb, and Quinn was glad for it. They didn't want the pain right now, reminding them that they were still there, living inside their skull and eyes and fingertips and feet.

By nightfall, Quinn could barely walk anymore, but waited for Jake to call it a day before they rested. They helped set Luci down on a rock and a few coats laid out, making her as comfortable as they could. Everybody looked like crap; dirty and knotted, inside and out. They managed to make a fire, at least. Charlene took first watch, with Jake's instructions to watch west of the trail.

"I know, Jakey," she said as she left. "I know."

"Hey, give a whistle if..."

Without looking back, she demonstrated the whistle for him as she disappeared through the brush. Jake sighed, smiled, and struck up a conversation with Alicia.

"We go back," he said.

"Clearly," she answered, which made him smirk. "What happens to Luciana when we get back to your ranch? What happens to Quinn?" Quinn looked over at this, but didn't chime in.

"You worried about my brother?" Jake asked.

"Things he did to them, the people they were with..."

"It won't be like that when we get back," Jake assured her, and turned to Quinn, then back to Alicia. "Erm, could you, you know, tell..."

"They speak English," Alicia said.

Jake paused. His cheeks darkened, then he turned to Quinn and nodded. "We watch him when he's close. I can control him."

Quinn just made something of a grateful smile with their mouth and turned back to the fire.

"How long has it been going on?" Alicia asked.

"Since he was little," Jake answered. "My dad, Troy's mom, pulled him out of school. Gave him the run of the ranch. It's a lot of land. Well, you make allowances for the ones you love."

Quinn thought about their dad, all the fights they kept quiet to 'make allowances' for him. It was bullshit. He never changed.

"I made allowances for my brother, 'till I saw that was going to get him killed," Alicia said, apparently on the same page. "My mom made allowances like Nick's drama was giving her purpose."

"At least when we get back, your brother will be happy to see you," Jake said. "Mine?" Just then, they heard Charlene's whistle in the distance. Quinn stood up immediately, Ally cold in their hand. They heard her again.

"What is that?" Alicia whispered. Jake put his hand up to quiet her. He kicked out the fire and took out a handgun from his holster, handing it to her.

"You know how to use one of these?" He cocked it. "Here's the action."

"Yeah, no, I... I know. I—"

"It's ready to fire," he said. "Quinn, keep that bat up."

"Got it."

"No matter what happens," Jake said, "you both stay put 'till I get back. If I don't, you follow the main trail. By midday you'll see the ranch."

They both watched him leave after Charlene, standing back-to-back, staying silent, looking around and shuffling. Soon, they heard a struggle in the way Jake had left; snarling, yelling.

"We have to help him," Quinn said.

Alicia hissed through her teeth. "Alright. Come on." Beyond the bank, they saw Jake struggling with three geeks. One had him pinned against a dune, disarming him. Alicia shot it through the skull, then the second, and the third.

Jake caught his breath, then shone his torch to the side and saw Charlene lying dead in the dirt, torn open. He got up, out of breath, and reached out to Alicia.

"Hand me the gun," he said quietly. "Find your way back. Quickly. Please. I have to... take care of it before more come."

Quinn and Alicia walked back. Alicia stopped when the gunshot went off. Quinn took her hand, and kept walking.

The next morning, Quinn and Alicia had gotten a little sleep. Minutes, maybe. When they woke, Quinn tried to wake Luci, but she didn't stir.

"Alicia..."

She woke up with a start, scrambling for her butterfly knife.

"No, it's okay. It's Lu-Lu." Quinn cleared their throat. "Luci, I mean. I can't get her to wake up." Alicia tried, too. Luci was still breathing and had a pulse, at least. Alicia went to tell Jake.

"I'll carry her," he said. He took his rifle, avoiding looking at both of them. "We'll be at the ranch in a few hours..." He stood there for a minute, looking at them. "It's a terrible world, isn't it?"

"I'll help you carry her," Alicia said, and motioned to Quinn too. "We will. We'll make better time."

Luci was in and out of consciousness all the way, brought back and taken away again by the pain. Until finally, Quinn saw the ranch as they came over the next hill. It was huge, with a big house, some smaller ones nearby, and shacks, and barns and fields and cattle and gardens. It even had vehicles and a helicopter landing spot. Alicia had been carrying Luci longest now, so she allowed Quinn to take over for her, supporting under Luci's right arm. They didn't stop. They were so close. Luci woke up from the pain again.

There was a man at the gate.

"Just a few more steps," Jake was telling Luci. People were gathering at the gate. Most in green, from the depot, but some were civilians. And Madison. "Stay with me," Jake went on. "Stay awake, stay awake. Open the gate. It's okay. It's okay. Okay."

"Give them a hand," someone said.

"Watch your head, watch your head," Jake said as he and Quinn set Luci down just inside the gate. "Okay."

Madison held Alicia, then Quinn, kissing the side of their head quickly, which made them flinch. She asked how they'd hurt them-self but Quinn didn't know how to answer.

"Here, let me in there, let me in there." A man, a doctor, said.

"Mom..." Alicia knew who Madison was looking for.

"Where is he?" Madison said breathlessly, cupping her face to look into the distance. "Where is Trav? Where is he?"

"He... He's not..."

"No," Madison said. She bent into her knees. "No. No."

"I'm sorry." Alicia was crying. Quinn had to look away. "I'm sorry."

Nick sprinted past. "Luci. Luci. Hey. Hey, it's Nick."

"We were shot down before we got to the ranch," Jake explained to an old man wearing a Stetson hat and a scowl. Quinn guessed he was Jeremiah Otto, Jake and Troy's father.

"By who?" Jeremiah asked.

"Unknown."

"Where's Charlene?"

"Dead got her on the pass."

"Hey, it's Nick," Nick was still trying. "Luci, hey—"

"Not sure she can hear you," the doctor said.

"What — What do you mean?"

"She's not going to make it is what he means," Troy said. He had a bandage over his eye now. Quinn glared at him.

"Help her," Nick said.

"No. We take her to the infirmary, she may turn. It's against policy."

"It's your fault. You shot her."

"I was defending my people." As much as it could have been true, Troy wasn't telling the full story, and he didn't give anybody time to either. "I'll do it again. I know what to do."

"No," Nick begged, "no, no, no."

"This is how it has to be."

"No. Come on."

"Out of the way. Move aside."

Nick was panting. He stepped back, like he couldn't believe it, and as Troy cocked his gun, Nick leaned over and told him, "I'll do it. I'll do it. I'm allowed this."

"Alright," Troy agreed. "Alright." He handed over the handgun, and walked away. Nick stared down at Luci, and then he lifted his gun... to Troy.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jeremiah said. Other guns were raised too, to Nick. Every gun.

"Don't," Nick growled anyway. "Let her in."

"Nick," Madison said.

"I said let her in."

"Nick, this is not how we do things here," Jake said desperately.

"Nick," Madison tried.

"Not this time," Nick went on.

"Do what your mommy says," Troy goaded.

"Come on," Jake complained.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." Jeremiah stood between them, hands up. "Nick, Nick, easy there. Come on. Let — Let me have the pistol, son."

"You can't let her die," Nick said, voice breaking.

"If she's got a pulse, we'll let her in," Jeremiah said. "But you got to give me the gun."

"Do it, Nick," Madison said. "Give him the gun."

He did, and Jeremiah returned the gun to Troy.

"Get her to the infirmary," Jeremiah said.

"Yes, sir."

"Secure her before you treat her." Jeremiah turned to the rest of them. "All right, everybody, that's enough fun. The show's over. Go back to doing what you were doing."

"Go in there, get yourself looked after," Madison was saying.

"Mom, I want to be with you."

"No, I'll find you."

"Mom."

"Please," she said, "go. Go."

Alicia backed away, allowing Quinn to tug her sleeve. They went to the infirmary to get a few cuts cleaned up and a check over, as well as Quinn's forehead dressings changed, and were both dismissed and told to rest. They didn't. They went to check on Nick and Luci.

"The handcuffs really necessary?" Alicia asked.

"They are just in case, yeah," Nick said. He looked at both of them. "Thank you for bringing her back. Both of you."

Quinn stepped around the bed, gently slipping their fingers through Luci's.

"Alicia?" Nick said.

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

She nodded, and then she started crying. Nick hugged her and she cried even harder. Quinn just stood there, holding Luci's hand, shutting their eyes and waiting for the terrible hollowness in their chest to go away.

Later, Quinn was told how to find the shack where they were staying with Madison, Nick and Alicia. They left Nick and Alicia some time to themselves, and found Madison inside the bedroom, alone. She was crying and smoking.

"Sorry," Quinn said, and made to leave.

"No, no," Madison said. "It's okay. Stay." She wiped her face while Quinn sat in an empty bed opposite. There were four bunkbeds. Madison had a new gun. A Beretta. She offered them a cigarette, then stopped. "God. Sorry," she said, miserable. "I'm not thinking straight. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Quinn said, lost on what really to say, so they didn't say anything, and sat in silence with Madison while she smoked cigarette after cigarette, watching the thin wisps of smoke float up through the glistening sun as it filtered in between the blinds.

Finally, Nick and Alicia arrived.

"Mom?" Alicia said.

"Close the door," Madison told them both. She sat on the bunkbed opposite Quinn, like she wanted to talk to them all. Quinn was grateful they weren't being told to leave for a minute. "I'm okay. I'm okay. You asked me if I had a plan, Nick."

He sat next to her. Alicia sat beside Quinn.

"Mom, that was before. We don't—"

"It was the right question," Madison interrupted him. "We're going to stay here."

"What?"

"We're going to make it our home, even if we have to take it over."

"Mom, that's insane."

"No, it's our fate." She had that same terrible look on her face like Travis had. "We suffered to get here. Travis died getting here. We have to accept it. We have to be stronger."

Quinn looked at their hands and saw the dirt in the lines of their skin.

"Tell me how it happened." They looked up to Madison. She was looking right at them both, Alicia and Quinn. "Tell me everything." So, in the little, dusty, old shack in Broke Jaw Ranch, Alicia and Quinn did.

Notes:

RIP Trav.

Sorry if it's a bit clunky. Trying to keep word count as minimal as possible right now.

Happy reading.