A bonus for Christmas... I guess? This chapter just shows some insight on Tamara's past. Gomenasai for the extremely overdue updates, but I'll hopefully be able to write more this winter break... hopefully...

Chapter 23X: Requiem for Sins

"Oh man I'm late!

"Hmm? Oh hi!

"You can't come out?

"Why not?

"Hmm… I know!

"I'll come to you!

"Ack! You're right!

"I'M SOOOOO LATE!"

First encounter. He was inside the ward for the sick. He was watching me as I ran to school. We waved and I decided to visit him. Of course I ended up being late and had to go through the light chair for half the day. I didn't make it back to his ward until nearly sunset.

Funny. I thought of so many reasons on why he had to stay in the ward all the time and never on how he felt about staying in the ward. Government conspiracies, alien targets, even because he had a hidden power that others wanted… too bad some of it was true.

Sad. I was so sad when he was taken away. He had to go somewhere else than the ward. Then guess what?! He ended up going to my school! I was so happy! When I asked him, he said that he got someone to pull some strings.

Surprise. I thought that he would feel strange inside a school so I endeavored to help him. He didn't seem that bothered by it even though the building was huge… as were some of the other students. He surprised everyone though. Every question the teacher called on him, he answered with amazing accuracy, even to the point of what seems like reading the teacher's mind. When asked, he just said that being bed ridden gave him time to read… then he went on to explain that when one does not utilize certain parts of the body, the remaining energy is spent to somewhere else. Since he does not walk that much in the ward, the energy is rerouted to his brain… at this point I was either brain dead or asleep. Shhh… don't tell him.

Sad again. Even though we had a couple of months of fun, he had to leave again. He said that he needed to go somewhere far away to get stronger. I asked why. He said he didn't know. All he did know was that it will help others including me. I'm touched, but I wanted to go with him. He said that I couldn't. He said that it will be dangerous. I said that I didn't care. He said that he did… about me.

Waiting. This takes forever. I finally managed to get the information I needed. I managed to contact his brother and he managed to get me to where he should be. Then we'll go together to meet up with him. It's been… well it felt really long to me… but finally, I'll see him again.

Found. We found him. He was bloody, bruised, but none too worse for the wear. Of course, that's what it was like on the outside. For now though, he just smiled and welcomed us over. We caught up on what we've been doing and what we planned to do. He still wants to help others and vowed that he'll travel to the place where he's needed to help them. His brother vowed to help him in anyways he can. I promised that we'll be together… I broke that promise.

Envy. Several years have passed and we're a bit older… not that I'm old. He's been through a lot, I can tell. He still refuses to tell me what he's been doing. He spoke of another person now. Someone called Lyn came and spent a day with him. She disappeared after a day and it's been several years since he's seen her. I'm… kind of jealous. How could he remember her so well after only one day with her several years ago? Call it a girl's heart, but I want him to think about me and only me. Selfish, I know… but I can't deny the truth.

Lust. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think that I'm falling for him. Of course, looking back on my actions now, I can see where I've been heading since I first met him. Come on, it was classical. Meeting together by fate and destiny keeps trying to pull us apart. Then when we finally come together, he is taken by another girl and I have to try to win back his heart. Typical. I'm not sure what I like about him though. His secrecy, his seriousness, his maturity… in one word… him. I want him, and no one else.

Greed. Am I greedy for that? For wanting more of him than I already have? Isn't it normal to have those kinds of feelings for when you're in love? Yes, I am one of the few who can actually admit that they're in love. I'm very in tune with my emotions. I can tell each one by its characteristics. But still, am I greedy for wanting his heart, something that has value incalculable?

Gluttony. When I'm sad, I eat. I ate back then when I was sad, and I'm eating now because I'm sad. I haven't seen him for a while. It must have been several years… either that or I have to change my calendar. Surprisingly, I don't get fat no matter how much I eat. I know… other girls have wanted my secret and some have threatened bodily harm on me. He was always there back then to stop them; we looked out for each other. Now… he's no here any more… and that just makes me want to eat more… I'm sad.

Sloth. I just received an invitation to visit him. Not wanting to turn this down, I more or less rushed there. When I saw him, he looked depressed. Neither I nor his brother could get him out of this depression. He was moping around getting moodier and moodier. I wondered if I could have done something about it. I probably knew of one other person who might have been able to help him… but I didn't say anything about it. Was I wrong? Yes, I was. Which sin is worse? Not knowing something but trying anyways… or knowing about something but not doing anything about it? To chance ruin and destruction… or play predictability of destruction and ruin?

Death. Then one day, he grew brighter. I didn't know why… but I was happy for him nonetheless. That day, I got a message to go to a field. When I got there, he was there as well. We wondered what was going on, and a voice over the field told us… I was to be killed… by his hands. What happened next was a blur. He went berserk and tried to kill me when a green haired girl jumped out and fought him. She was good until she didn't see his next attack coming. Even though I was frozen with fear, I couldn't just stand by and let someone die in front of me. I pushed her out of the way and took the blow instead… Do I regret my actions? Who knows? Certainly not me for sure.

Void. I found myself in the darkness. Was this what it was like after death? I vaguely recalled what happened afterwards. I left him to that girl. She was Lyn, I'm sure of it. Only she could possibly be… who else would step in like that. He spoke so highly of her, I was so envious. Why then did I leave him to her? I wanted to be with him… but I suppose this is for the best. Then what is this empty feeling inside of me? Truths and lies… those don't mean anything anymore in the Void. Here, everything is stripped of its taint and reduced to its full glory. Truth, heroics, light has glory… but then again… so does lies, villainy, and darkness.

Reawakening. I felt something enter me. It was light and full of peace and comfort. Then I felt the heavy burden of life draw me back. When I open my eyes, I saw that girl, Lyn, sitting in front of me. I suppose that she meant that he brought me back to life. Why did he do that? He broke one of the biggest taboos of the world. The dead should be left for dead for a reason. Then again, this might be a chance to stay with him. Second chances in life are so rare. They should not be forsaken

Gone. Lo and behold, the moment I got back I found that he was already gone. Was I that drove him away every time? Was I that repulsive? I had to lay low for a while. It really draws attention when a person who's suppose to be dead is suddenly walking again. His brother was a really big help. He knew that his own brother wouldn't do something like this without reason. He hid me and together, we tried everything to find him.

Virtues. After being unable to find anything, we decided to head out to see if anyone knew anything. By chance, or by fate, we met up with a most peculiar girl. She was older than I was, and she had powers that rivaled that of his. Just who was she? She wanted to find him too, the other half to her powers. While he ruled the powers of darkness, she ruled the ones of light. Their two powers compromised each other… and for a while, I thought that they really did compliment each other well as well.

Undercover. We met up with someone who looked really promising. He said that he knew about him, where he was and such. Of course he was suspicious at the time, but he gave us undeniable proof. He took us to the council. They never sat well with me and still don't. They knew where he was, it was all somewhat planned. There was their first mistake, for admitting that. For now, I'll go along with their plans because it meant meeting up with him again. I'm certain that 'older brother', as I've taken to calling him that in private, was thinking the same thing. You can trust them about as much as you can trust a fox in a chicken coop.

Uncover. From what we found out, everything was planned from the start, making them all the more suspicious. We decided to let her in on our thoughts, she's proven trustworthy enough. For the old guy(s), we decided to leave them alone because they seem to have their own agenda. Anyways, he's gone to another world. Of course, while this was almost incredulous, it would make sense why he didn't show up when we tried to detect him. By slipping into another world, he escapes beyond the range. Looks like we're going to have to go after him.

Plans. We had two sets of plans. One was from the council which was to proceed one way or another. We said we understood, but we didn't even read it. After all, we hand an agenda of our own. Crossing the world was easier than expected. I'm sure the technical stuff was enough to cause brains to explode, but actually crossing was easy. The other side held a dark cavernous room. On the walls were decorations of dragons. From what we could tell, this was the other world, no doubt about that.

Assimilation. 'Older brother' was the first one sent. He was to act as a scout and tell us if it was safe to go there. As soon as he sent the message, we went through post-haste. He was already gone by the time we arrive due to some spatial-time displacement or other. I'm not good at this science stuff. A weird presence in the area stated that someone was here recently, but that was not really of any help to us. Anyways, we managed to rendezvous up at this oasis in the desert. I'm not sure how he got there first because we only found it with a detection spell traced through him. We learned the language of the world fairly quickly through an assimilation spell, though when we tried to search for him using the detection spell, we couldn't find him still. Weird.

Legend. Before setting out to the world, we needed names apparently. That's when we heard of a legend. It was about a young boy who was able to lead a small group, much smaller than an army, to defeat countless foes of soldiers, monsters, and even myths without a single casualty or even heavy injury to his comrades. Of course, we were all impressed with this. Not only that, he was a wandering tactician, meaning that he has been around to almost everywhere. Maybe he's seen the person we're looking for.

Reunited. We sent messages for the preparation of a selected few who are to accompany us through this world. Afterwards, we tracked down the wandering tactician. Our shadow riders got around quickly enough and they stirred up some slight trouble for the other people in hopes of drawing the attention of this legend. He showed up with his friends in the end. One look and we could tell the semblance. His friends looked strong though, so we devised a plan that would get him alone so that we would be able to approach him.

Awry. Somehow, our plan was messed up bad. When it was time to be implemented, the archer messed up. He struck him in the chest. We were all almost to the point of panic when that happened. Luckily, he told them to hurry off while they can, giving us the chance to rescue him. The archer committed suicide two days after that and we held a burial service as best as we can… even in this foreign land that was nowhere close to his home. Anyways, his condition after being shot was not good. The arrow managed to miss his heart completely, but it punctured his lung. Added to that, the lung had almost completely collapsed, he was suffering from internal bleeding, almost to the point of choking on his blood, and was sent into a state of serious shock. We all stayed as long as we could by his side. After all this, I just can't lose him again.

Recovery. The old geezers were doing wonders for him actually. They managed to heal him back to almost optimal health in almost no time. However, his mental state was a really delicate situation. Due to the string of events that have happened thus far, his memory chain was probably messed up. The result was that there is little chance of him ever remembering us. On another note, the geezers didn't seem like they want to go through his mind. Even after doing… whatever they did in his mind… he still didn't remember us. In fact, he forgot everything personal and retained only enough information for basic life.

Progress. Unfortunately, we had to report back to the council to keep them updated. We managed to hide several important events from them. It seems that they still needed the ring and dagger. Luckily, he 'gave' those away, giving us some more time. Of course, now he can't really communicate back to us. To prove his worth to the council though, we had make him go an attack his former friends.

Hesitation. He wouldn't attack them like he would attack those in target practice. Could it be that they held on to his heart? Impossible. How could they? He suffers from what the geezers called backlash repression. When something like memory is repressed, the result can cause pain when the memory resurfaces because it tries to integrate with the already conscious mind. Is the strange feeling I'm getting trying to tell me something?

Departure. Well, well, they managed to get him back, even though it was all planned out. We tried delaying it as long as we could, but the council insisted, which meant we had no choice, so we could only hope for the best. His condition was still there, though I could tell that it was off. I decided to help them out. The others thought that it would probably be easiest if he massacred all of them in their sleep, but I had other plans. I still can't believe it though. After receiving my message, they still didn't find the way.

Strange. What's this strange feeling welling up inside of me? I believe that there is something seriously wrong. I'm not going to tell this to anyone though. They have enough burdening them and some might try to play it to their advantage. I can't let that happen. I'll hold this secret for now. I'll decide to use it later.

Pride. Could it be that my pride is standing in the way? Am I too proud to admit my mistakes? Probably… no… absolutely. Perhaps all of this could have been avoided if I just admitted my childish mistake… maybe.

Taken back. We got him back again… but should I still refer to him as such? Either way, he seems to have regain his memory of his friends. He tried to make a break for it, but I managed to get to him alone and told him the truth. I also managed to turn him back into his human form. The poor kid was so scared probably, even though he didn't show it. He wants to find out more about this situation. He never mentioned anything about wanting to go back to his friends. Does it mean…?

Geezers. They died. Even though I didn't understand them, I really did feel bad for their deaths. That was just my way of dealing with their loss. Perhaps it was a bit much? Another mistake that could have been avoided had I told of my thoughts. The end draws near.

Now. He is doing something that is not his to do. Our fates have already been tied. Even now as I am drifting off to the void, I wonder… could life have been different. Heh. Not likely. If it was different, then I wouldn't be me. There is one thing that I still regret as I float of to the endless expansion. I still haven't met with him yet…

And so ends another chapter. This offers a bit into Tamara's mind and thoughts. Now you know her reasons for finding Mark and something hints at more mysterious dealings. Please review to point out any mistakes such as plotholes or grammatical errors. I'll try to write more this winter, but no promises. Sorry.