A/N: It's been awhile since I've typed on this, I'm sorry. I've been... lost in a sense. Confused, trying to find acceptance and belonging at school while being bullied every day. It's been rough, I'm failing Chemistry again, but think I've finally found some steady ground so...

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, you don't own CCS, Clamp owns CCS. Nor do I own the excerpt from the Evanescence song Whisper. I also claim no ownership of the anime Witch Hunter Robin. Tomoyo's warped dream of the coat, now that's mine, even if it was based upon something that isn't and never shall be mine.

Previously:

Eriol spend the night out in the cold running to Tomoyo's, he caught a cold due to so. Tomoyo's starting to cut herself more (Somebody Save Her, Eriol Do Something!) and she visited Eriol. In the last paragraph she was crying in pain on her bed where she fell asleep.

The story must go on, and now the story continues...

Slight Warning: This chapter contains a bit more mature content than previous chapters. Slight sexual content to be more specific as to what.

Chapter 26: Caught in Illusion

Utter darkness filled the room, and in the eerie silence Tomoyo awoke. For the past six days she hadn't been sleeping well. It was already the second time that she had awoken that night.

She tried to blink the horrid thoughts out of her mind. She glanced at the clock, 2:45 A. M. She'd only been asleep for an hour and 24 minutes. Numbly she reached over and grabbed one of the CD cases and her CD player off of her nightstand. Her mind processed her thoughts slowly as she slipped the CD from its case to her hand and then to her CD player. Only vaguely aware that she was doing so she slipped the headphones onto her ears and pressed the "on" and "play" buttons.

"Don't turn away, don't give into the pain,

Don't try to hide, though they're screaming your name,

Don't close your eyes, God knows what lies behind them,

Don't turn out the light, never sleep never die..."

And to the sounds of Evanescence's Whisper blackness again consumed her.

Though her peace, like innocense, was short lasting. At 3:30 she woke again to realize that she was not falling down and down and that she did not hit the ground, that demons were not at her side, clawing and biting at her.

Slowly she rose, walking in but a dreamlike state, giving up on getting more sleep that day. Her body functioning on autopilot she walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Somehow she managed to make herself a cup of black tea, to which she added three teaspoons of sugar.

Sitting down on a couch in the living room she held the cup in her hands, letting its warmth seep into her hands. Finally she took a sip, savoring the flavor and letting it warm her veins.

Images, horrid images, of pain, death, murder, blood, and demons filled her mind as she tried yet again to push them away. And then there was her dreams of that night.

First she had been running... running down stairs... and then she fell. Some stairs were longer than others, after a few flips she landed on one of those in pain. Eriol... he had been ahead of her... but he was there with her then, offering his hand to help her up... And then... then they were lying together, on the ground, at the bottom of the stairs, her on top of him. She was in her school uniform, and he in a long, fur lined coat, similar to ones she'd seen in the anime Witch Hunter Robin earlier that week. She tried harder to for the next part from her mind, her hugging him close, her head against his neck, him whispering into her ear for permission, and her giving it... his hand... reaching up her skirt, touching her... And then him telling her that he could never love her the way she loved him... And then he gave her his coat, said that she must be cold and that he could keep himself warm. Then she was in her house, in the living room, holding his coat, then wearing it, it's warmth around her...

Tomoyo shuddered. How could she dream something like that? Just because she liked him didn't mean that she'd let him do stuff to her, did it? What would she do if it happened... in reality? She took another sip of tea. Her second dream... she had watched her cut herself, watched her mother walk in on her as she did it, watched her mother internally screaming, internally filling with pain, yet consuming it all somehow and just walking away, abandoning her. She was locked away, locked in a metal room with no doors and only a small, barred window. There had been demons outside the window, she was supposed to fight them... They had entered, and she couldn't ward them off, the were biting into her flesh, turning into vampires, and drinking her blood. She had felt life draining from her, warmth leaving her, her vision blurring, and then death coming as she awoke. At least it hadn't been as bad as the first dream.

Finally there was her last dream, she took another sip of tea, as if to ward away the thoughts of it. She was running, being chased, as the ground became the sky and the sky the ground. She ran upside down and right side up, being chased by demons with Kai-like faces. And then she was at the edge of the cliff, running through the thorny hedges that tore at her clothing and blocked off the edge. She reached the edge, forced herself to stop, screamed at the sight of the oncoming demons as she turned around, and screamed in shock as one with the face of Eriol with fangs and clawed hands pushed her off. She tried to grab out as she fell, but branches were only there for her to land upon and break a rib, as leaves she touched turned to snakes and bit her. As she fell even more pain came to her, as winged and nonwinged demons were at her side, biting at her, clawing at her, cursing at her, and killing her.

Tomoyo took a gulp of tea, feeling the sudden heat burn her throat. She didn't want to get up, she didn't want to move, all she wanted to do was look ahead, stare blankly at the darkness infront of her. She only barely noticed the darkness turning into light and the sound of her alarm clock ringing loud enough in her room to be heard down below where she was.

She blinked, twice, and slowly stood, her legs giving out beneath her at first, and then holding her weight. Shakily she made her way up to her room, tiredness from her lack of sleep the night before now truly upon her. She grabbed a bottle of Mountain Dew from on her dresser and drank a few gulps. Over the past week she'd gotten so little sleep and came to rely upon the caffeine in Mountain Dew to the point that she was completely addicted to it and could not go without it.

Still in her haze she pulled off her pajamas and her school uniform. Blankly she stared into the mirror as she did her hair, both seeing and yet not seeing. She wanted to sleep, so badly she wanted to sleep. The bed was inviting her to it. Swaying she made her way forward towards it. Gently she laid herself down upon it, embracing her pillow as though it were another body of warmth. She caressed it lightly, as though it were her beloved there beside her, and gently she held him, stroking her hand through his hair. Softly she pressed her lips to his, the fantasy sensation that she'd so been dreaming of lasting for but only a minute felt like days. Now the demons were gone from her mind, the hurt gone away, the blade now useless. More and more she hugged him, embracing him close to her, his warmth fulfilling her to the core. Again and again she kissed him, each kiss deep, long, and passionate. Her hands caressed through his hair more as she tasted each of his kisses. She felt his hands on her skin, warm, holding her in forever's embrace, and slowly she sank farther into desire. She wanted him forever, for forever and eternity.

Never before had she felt such burning desire, never before had she tasted such passion, and now that she had it she only wanted more. Vainly she fought to stay with him, futilely she clung to what was not there, pressing her lips to the nothingness, caressing only air.

A/N: The last part was confusing, ne? Basically Tomoyo reached a point of over-tiredness. When she lies down she falls into a sleep-like state, of both conscienceness and unconscienceness, her reality being confused with dream, illusion, and the innerworking of the mind and imagination.

I'll try to update sooner this time. Thanks for reading! Review please!