Chapter 26 :
"Alright !" Effie chirped as soon as they had piled in the elevator that would take them to the interviews floor.
She surveyed her team, giving them all a last glance to make sure nothing was amiss. Alec looked out of place in his suit and kept pulling on his bowtie. She slapped his hand away and fixed it, wishing the stylists had seen fit to accompany them for the last modifications. Tilly was delighted with her puffy light pink dress and couldn't seem to stop running her hands over the flounces, Effie had told her three times already that she was going to crease it if she kept it up but the girl was nervous. Hayden looked dashing as expected – she had selected the suit and knotted the tie herself. Haymitch… Haymitch had put on the outfit she had selected with a minimum of complaining but had drawn the line at shaving. As had become the norm since the discussion they had a few days earlier, he wouldn't meet her eyes.
"Everyone remembers what they ought to do?" She clasped her hands cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood.
"We smile, we wave at the crowd and we say everything exactly like we rehearsed." Alec nodded.
"And if we forget, we let Caesar bring us back on track. He's here to help." Tilly recited.
"That's right. You bet he is." the boy smiled at her, reaching out to ruffle her hair.
Effie and Hayden grabbed his wrist at the same time before he could ruin her hairstyle. Alec took his hand back, looking sheepish.
"You will both be just dazzling." Effie swore just as the elevator chimed. "Now, remember. Eyes bright, chins up and smiles on. That goes for you too, Haymitch."
Haymitch rolled his eyes and flashed her his trademark playboy smile, the one she knew to be extremely fake. They walked to their designated waiting area like a proper team ought to. She fussed over the children again to distract them from the surrounding activity. Escorts calling out last advices, victors coaching the kids, the staff running around…
After a few minutes, she had exhausted her stock of reminders and had to declare herself content with the job they had done.
"Do you want me to wait here with you?" she asked at last.
Tilly would probably have gladly accepted the offer but Alec took a look around, noticed that most of the tributes were alone and bravely shook his head. "We're good."
She had to trust they would be.
She laced her arm with Hayden's and they made their way up front to the audience, Haymitch trailing in their wake. She had to nudge Hayden to remind him to smile, her own public mask slipping easily on her face. She glanced back but Haymitch was already playing his own public persona act, winking at girls and signing autographs when he was asked. She and Hayden had to pause too when some people asked them to sign a piece of paper or to take a picture.
They found their way to their seats quicker than Haymitch did. He remained stuck in a conversation with two women who Effie thought to be the wife and the daughter of one of President Snow's close advisors.
An impromptu round of applause erupted when District One's and District Two's teams entered the auditorium. Hayden's hands clenched into fists at the sight of Enobaria. Effie had no doubt he was imagining throttling her which would have been a shame because as loathe as she was to admit it, the victor looked beautiful in her bright red dress – until she started smiling, that was. The fang shaped teeth were over the top in her opinion.
"With all the staring you're doing, people are going to start talking, Hayden." she teased.
"Haymitch spent all winter lecturing me. Don't worry, I'm not going to do something stupid like corner her again." He rolled his eyes.
Fortunately, nobody was looking at them.
"Don't do that in public, dear." Effie chided him. "Happy smiles only."
"Sorry." he said, not sounding sorry at all. He flashed a bright smile that was so obviously fake she almost cringed. "Better?"
"Quite." she lied, glancing around impatiently. She wondered how long it would take before the interviews were due to start. Alec and Tilly would start fretting. "Perhaps one of us should have stayed with the children."
"They will be fine." Hayden argued. "You got attached again."
There was a soft touch of rebuke in his voice. She pursed her lips in annoyance. "Didn't you?" He shrugged, conceding the point, and she decided a change of topic was in order. She looked around her shoulder. "Where is your brother?"
Haymitch had disappeared in the growing crowd, she couldn't spot him.
"About that…" Hayden ventured. "What happened?"
"What do you mean? Nothing." she replied quickly. "He apologized." Or at least, she thought that was what he was trying to do when he came into her room. They were on speaking terms again even though it was more polite and cold than it had been even at the beginning of their acquaintance.
"Haymitch apologized?" Hayden's gaze was disbelieving at best and she couldn't blame him.
"Yes, well, you know your brother. He didn't actually spell it out." she explained.
"And that's it?" he insisted. "Because he looks… weird."
"Weird." she repeated with a frown.
Hayden remained silent for a second, studying her attentively, then he shrugged and spit it out. "Sad, he looks sad."
"Oh…" she breathed out. "Does he? I didn't notice."
"Yeah, maybe because you're busy looking sad too every time you think nobody's watching you." he pointed out gently. "Are you sure nothing happened? Look, Effie, I can't say I would be thrilled but I wouldn't give you hell over it. I'm sure if anything did happen, it was Haymitch's fault anyway."
"Nothing happened." It was the whole truth. Nothing at all had happened. Her fake smile faltered slightly. "I think I disappointed him."
"Disappointed how?" Hayden frowned. "You turned him down? 'Cause…"
"No." she cut him off. "No, it's not…" She sighed. "It's a long story, Hayden."
"We're not going anywhere for a while." he joked but it fell flat and she remained silent. He kept on watching her, his frown deepening. "Just tell me… Did he do something?"
"You should stop assuming the worst of your brother." she hissed. She knew Hayden didn't know better. She knew. And to be fair, Haymitch didn't make it easy for them to be on friendly terms but, knowing all she did, she couldn't bear the instinctive mistrust Hayden showed. If only he knew… "It was something I did if you must know. I know you aren't particularly happy, Hayden, but you should stop pointing fingers at Haymitch so quickly. You aren't a child anymore to blame your brother every time something goes wrong in your life not matter how tempting and easy it might be."
She felt better for getting that off her chest. Haymitch and Hayden's relationship was a tangled mess and she had no wish to tackle it, in her opinion there were wrongs on both sides. Perhaps Hayden was a bit quick to judge Haymitch but he had no reason at all to doubt that Haymitch's careless attitude wasn't sincere. As for Haymitch, he might be sacrificing everything to protect Hayden but he didn't even realize he was suffocating him in the process.
"Talking about me? Why am I not surprised?" Haymitch snorted, dropping on the seat next to her.
Both she and Hayden startled guiltily. She didn't know how much he had heard but clearly, some part of her speech hadn't gone unnoticed because he was smirking at her with unabashed amusement.
Panem anthem finally boomed out of the speakers, calling the audience to pay attention to the stage.
"I don't need a knight in shining heels, Princess." he whispered in her ear just as Caesar appeared triggering the roar of the crowd. "Let him think I'm the bogeyman if that helps him."
"That's unfair." she whispered back, turning her head to look at him.
She was barely aware of District One's female tribute coming on stage under thundering applause.
"Life's unfair." he half-shrugged. His eyes darted to her lips and then he turned away again, pretending to be absorbed by what One's tribute was saying.
Effie forced herself to focus. A few tributes stood out. The Careers, of course, the boy from Six and the girls from Nine and Eleven.
She clapped enthusiastically when Tilly was called on stage but the audience's welcome was mild at best. People were bored and were checking their watches. Effie clutched Hayden's hand during the girl's performance, mouthing the words at the same time as her. She had made her rehearse again and again. Haymitch had been right. Innocent was the right approach for her.
Alec's interview went even better. He was at ease with Caesar or was very good at pretending. She didn't know if the audience was truly attentive but several people wished her good luck on their way out and she considered that to be a good thing.
"I'm going out." Haymitch announced as she and Hayden were about to go backstage to fetch their tributes.
"Where are you going?" Hayden frowned.
"'Got a hot date." he winked at his brother but Effie saw straight through the playful attitude. "Don't wait up. Tell the kids to stay away from the Cornucopia."
Alec and Tilly were anxious to know what they thought about the interviews and both Effie and Hayden assured them with unrestrained enthusiasm that they had been simply fantastic.
She ushered the children to bed as soon as they were back in the penthouse. Saying goodbye was difficult this year, just as much as it had been the first time. Heather and Gaius hadn't cared much for her or Hayden the previous season and so the parting had been short and uneventful. But when Alec hugged her tight, quickly followed by Tilly… Effie had to clench her jaw and the smile stuck on her lips was so painful it actually hurt.
She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep that night and she didn't feel like lying awake for hours. Hayden, on the other hand, looked exhausted and it didn't take long before he excused himself to go to bed.
He paused on the living-room threshold though. "What I said earlier… about Haymitch… I don't blame him for everything. But he's done a lot, Effie. He sleeps with our escorts and then he kicks them out. If he finds out I like a girl, you can be damn bloody sure he will sleep with her. He doesn't care at all that Mama is cringing in front of her TV every time he struts around town with a new woman on his arm… He hurts people. I'm not saying he does it on purpose but most of the time, he just doesn't care. I don't want him to hurt you, that's all."
She had nothing to answer to that. What could she say? That it was all lies? That he slept with their escorts as some kind of payment to ensure their silence? That he slept with girls Hayden fancied to spare him… What? – she wasn't sure of that last one and she really didn't want to ask, Haymitch was almost irrational with his needs to protect his brother from everything. What else could she have said? That it wasn't that he didn't care about his mother's opinion but that he didn't have a choice in the matter? That he cared? That he cared so much more than Hayden could begin to process? As for hurting her… She thought she had been the one doing the hurting this time around.
She didn't feel like staying cooked up in the penthouse so she headed out. Her feet naturally took her to Paleo's house and the party still raging inside. Her friends welcomed her with surprised but delighted squeals and pulled her on the dance floor before she could even take off her coat. She lost herself in the music and the alcohol and the easy laughter for a moment.
That could be her life again, she mused.
She could choose Paleo and go back to an existence of mindless pleasure, not troubled by the persistent awareness that the whole country laid on unfair foundations. She could, like all those people who were wasted or high or simply looking for a hook up for the night, barely keep an eye on the interviews when they show up on TV. She could not care at all about those children who were paraded around, dressed up like dolls, right before being shipped to an arena they would never come back from. She could.
Yet, it was when Paleo's sister told her it was a shame Twelve never got good tributes that she knew she couldn't. Her tributes were good. They were just children. And maybe the other tributes were children too but the odds weren't fair and everybody in the Games department knew it. Who would they have, those children, if she quitted? Someone like Livia if they were lucky and if they weren't, they would get another Viola. Someone who was more concerned with getting their face on the Capitol Fabulous Magazine than taking care of them. They deserved better. They deserved someone who would fight for them, fight to find them sponsors, to the last possible moment.
She never parted with her smile when she explained to Paleo that she didn't wish to pursue their relationship further. She never stopped smiling even when he asked her to reconsider, to, at least, explain… She gathered everything she had left at his house and ran away as quickly as her heels would take her.
She didn't cry in the cab that took her back to the Training Center. She didn't cry in the lobby when she avoided the Peacekeeper's curious stare at seeing her coming back with a box of random items in her arms. She didn't cry in the elevator when she watched the numbers go up. She didn't even cry once she was back in the living-room, feeling empty and sad for all the wrong reasons. She dropped the box in her room but the bed looked cold and unappealing so she wandered away.
She paused in front Haymitch's room. How could she not? But it was a terrible idea, all the more so considering he probably had a special appointment earlier, and she knew better than that. It was natural to go on to Hayden's, natural to go in without knocking and natural to discard her shoes next to the bed before climbing in.
He jerked awake when she placed a hand on his side and rolled around to look at her. "Effie?"
Then, her body apparently thought, was a perfect time to start crying.
"What's wrong?" he whispered, immediately drawing her against him. "Are you hurt? What happened?"
She heard him feel around for the alarm clock and she felt his shoulders sag when he realized just how early it was – it had been around four when she had left Paleo's house so it couldn't be much later – but then he held her tighter, rocking her gently and shushing her when her sobs got too loud. He asked several times what had happened but she could only mumble in answer, clutching his tee-shirt and burying her face in his neck. Her mother would have been appalled if she had seen her: not only had she climbed into a man's bed uninvited in the middle of the night but she was very much making a show of herself. Still, she trusted Hayden with everything she had and there was nothing untoward in his hug anyway. With any other man, she would have been wary of doing it but not Hayden. Hayden was a very good friend, close enough he could have been family.
"I broke up with Paleo." she sniffed at last, when she had no more tears to cry.
They had slid back down the bed at that point so she was snuggled against his side, her head on his shoulder. His tee-shirt was damp under her cheek and stained with traces from her make-up, her wig was probably crumpled beyond repair but he kept his arms around her anyway.
"Do I need to punch him?" Hayden asked, very seriously. "He's not Enobaria, I can probably take him."
A broken laugh escaped her at that joke. She wondered if that was what it felt like to have a brother, someone who would be ready to defend her no matter what for no other reason than the fact he loved her in a platonic way.
"I told Haymitch I wanted to quit. That's why he was disappointed." she confessed at last.
Hayden processed that in silence for a while. "Did Paleo ask you to quit?"
She closed her eyes, tired of everything. "Not yet but he would have eventually."
"And…" he hesitated. "Did you want to quit?"
Yes and no. That question was so complicated she didn't even know how to begin answering it so she went straight to the point. "You need me. You and Haymitch. You need me."
"Yes, we do." Hayden admitted. "But you shouldn't have to give up everything for us."
"I didn't love him." she said. "He was very kind. He said I was beautiful."
"You are beautiful." he chided her.
"I know but… I like to hear it sometimes." she sighed. "May I sleep here? I don't want to be alone." Her own request sounded strange to her ears. "Is that too much to ask? I don't want it to be weird or…"
"You can sleep here. You're already halfway there anyway." Hayden snorted.
It was an odd comment but he must have been on to something because she could feel her body getting heavier and heavier by the second.
"And it won't be awkward, will it?" she insisted, burrowing more into his side, seeking his warmth.
"Effie, I love you but I really don't fancy you anymore." he swore and she believed him. "You're much too chatty."
He had his quirks too, she wanted to reply but she was drifting off.
"I wish I had a brother like you." she mumbled.
"Tell that to Haymitch." he sighed. "Come on, stop fighting and go to sleep now."
"Tomorrow will be a big, big, big day." she whispered.
She didn't know how right she was.
For one thing, the wake-up call was a surprise.
Can you guess at the wake-up call? ;) Let me know what you think!