Trina's p o v
When I created this camp Trina it wasn't just to help sick kids it was to help their whole family
I get it being a sister isn't easy at anytime especially when someone in the family is sick you have to bare the soul responsibility your parents expect so much more than a normal girl and it's overwhelming at times.
She really seemed to get me looking at her as we walked to where ever she was leading me. Ali moved closer and put her arms around me.
Trina people will make a lot of judgments against you when your in the spotlight
People think that because I am a pop star I have a perfect life it's not actually true I mean yes I have a great life but being sick is horrible I spent so much time alone in the hospital scared that I learned quickly to depend on myself.
It came in handy not just in the industry but in being a sibling it wasn't just me that my illness affected everyone of my sisters and brothers were affected my sisters had to give up time with their music and modeling careers.
You know my sister Ava I'm sure she's as famous as me
Yeah who doesn't know Ava and Lorcan the two famous shaking and snowboarding duo
I mean if you don't follow the sports you know them from their MTV where they play over extracted versions of themselves.
Yes Trina but how much do you know about their real private lives?
Not much just what was printed in the magazines and saw in interviews
So I bet you didn't know that Ava and my other sister Siobhan had to split their time just to make sure someone was with me at all times.
Mom was always away filming one movie after another or off promoting it so when we were kids we all made a pact that we would be there for each other.
Siobhan lives in Paris where she's a model she has three kids and a husband who is one of the top fashion designers but also has a bad drinking problem and Ava and Lorcan lived in Russia where they were training but every week Shiv and Ava took turns one week Ava would fly in to La to be with me while I went for tests and treatments the other week Shiv would be there they gave up so much time and work just to care for me. Siobhan's kids has to be uprooted as well so their lives were drastically effected.
Just when I got better Beacon would became sick he has Aplastic Anemia. I had to step up to take care of Soarise our youngest Dad wasn't around he was off in whatever country or city he was producing his newest project.
Being sick was hard but watching my brother suffering was worse. In so many ways I felt helpless and scared.
When I think about all the times in my life no matter how hard something was I always had my family to fall back on.
When we were kids Trina we use to have this special place in Ireland where we could go it was on our family's land we called it Iceland Hills because well winters in Ireland were brutal and this hill which overlooked almost all of Dublin was steep and grassy and beautiful but it got covered in ice and took months to thaw.
We use to go up there all the time we would swing from the tree swing and hang from the vine we spent hours and hours playing and dreaming, it's there Shiv taught us all how to Irish step dance and where Cathal first learned how to play the guitar he was only eight than but it was where he taught me.
We caught fireflies Aine taught me and Rian how to kiss it's where we went to study it was so peaceful I would play the flute or the fiddle as she did homework.
She's a lawyer now for the rich and famous I never get to see her now, Cathal he's living in France he's a model and a writer, if I see him once a year it's amazing.
Lorcan and Ava live in London and Russia it's been two years since I saw them, Shone he lives in La but we had a bitter fight three years ago he hasn't talked to me since.
She got quite I wondered what the fight was about but how do you ask a question like that?
What got me was how stupid the fight was about
I was sick again yet I wasn't letting it stop me even though I was on chemo and could barely stand I was still preforming at the AMA's.
I had to I mean I was nominated and the fans had voted so hard I couldn't let them down that's what this is all about the fans.
Shone was so set that he was going to win this year with his group Amnesia that when Nill won for the third year in a row he was pissed.
He called me out on stage saying all these awful things about how I was pitied and that's why I won it wasn't because I was talented.
It hurt so bad to know he was against me I hadn't done anything to deserve it but he was jealous and he let jealously and money go to his head.
Now the damage is done my fans are against his fans our family is divided and nothing is ever going to be the same,
He won't forgive Ava for giving me her bone marrow which basically saved my life two years ago Lorcan won't forgive him for attacking me.
Our parents won't even speak his name and it kills me cause he's their child and they love him and I know it hurts them.
There's nothing I can do though and Soarise is caught up in this drama I wish I could protect her.
That's awful
My heart broke for her as I thought about all the times Tori and I had when we were younger one time came to mind before any other I was ten and she was eight she had been wanting to go to the movies but I wanted to go ice shaking and mom let her choice it was her birthday and she chose to do what I wanted all so I could impress a boy I liked.
Well I sucked at ice shaking and I kept trying to save face and falling but she made it seem like it was an act she took my hands and lifted me up spinning me around as she belted out some song.
The boy I was trying to impress thought it was so awesome I spent time with my little sister.
We ended up dating but he was a dud.
When I think about it Tori isn't a horrible kid she's pretty amazing.
I'm not saying I am perfect Trina neither are you neither is Tori but she's your sister and you love her I know it but sometimes being the healthy one well it can kind of suck it's like your not allowed to have feelings or a life.
That's why your here I want you to know you matter Trina your hopes dreams fears their just as important as Tori's and I know your parents feel that way but sometimes it's hard to show you when their concerned about her health about money it's not easy being an adult.
Sometimes we forget what it's like to be young to be afraid and how young people deal.
We reached a building and went inside I was blown away it was her private studio.
She opened the door and let me inside. I was speechless it was huge and custom designed Freddie was sitting with Rian and Liam.
To prove to you I care about you and not just Tori I want you to have a taste of what life can be if you keep chasing your dreams.
Go ahead and pick up that book there
She pointed to a notebook which I did a little nervous sitting down not looking at Freddie who was at the control board talking with Rian as they worked on an intro.
I was beyond shocked she was showing me her private lyrics to an unreleased song.
What do you think Trina? Does it have the makings of a hit?
Oh my god this is excellent
Thanks darling so what do you think?
I think this will be all over the radio
Think you can handle laying down a verse?
Me?
My voice rose above the normal octaves as my eyes widened in shock pointing to myself she nodded in agreement as she motioned for the booth.
I could never live up to this but with all these eyes on me I wasn't backing down fake it Trina you have the skills to make this happen.
Don't be nervous we all started somewhere no one is judging you here were all here to help you
Okay
I hadn't been in a real studio before this was amazing but I needed to focus so she would see I was in this for real.
Make the lyrics your own Trina
Feel me?
Yea I can do this drop that beat nerd boy
Name's Freddie Trina remember that cause it will be in lights soon enough
Sorry got nervous Freddie drop dat beat
Deep breath and relax..
Listen up and prepare for the hits to drop
Don't think I got what it takes to take this beat and make ya move your feet
Picture this I am the goddess this is my village
You are my servants and I own ya say I don't have what it takes yet I have ya dropping $$ on my latest hit
Name's Trina but you can call me the queen I am everything little girls wishes they could grow up to be
Bow down and worship me
I am the future of R/B I am pop's reigning queen
I Got this
Let go of your fears and wash away those doubts cuz I turn my back on negative
No more village divided we come together to be as one it takes a village to move a mountain
I am the queen of this village
Bow down it's okay to worship me
Ali nodded as I opened my eyes she motioned for me to come out.
You have talent Trina but you are by no means ready to go out there you need work and guidance I know you can do it if you work hard enough but your not goddess ready yet.
To be a goddess you need to be able to have compassion and you need to open your heart to see there's a whole big world out there that needs TLC and attention.
You can do this by going out there and showing those girls an amazing summer and by starting with owning Jade an apology.
Wait I thought that it was a trick
No I twisted the words and got you to confess but there was no lies Jade did get a hold of a flask in your bag and she drank it and the combination of the Alcohol and her meds made her extremely sick she's in the clinic it was a close call.
She is your responsibility Trina and you weren't doing your job you owe her an apology and her family.
Prove you want this chance change your attitude and start thinking about others and maybe I will believe your ready for this.
It's your choice Trina make it wisely.