Another River City was called not even two days after Sasuke spoke with Naruto. The days had clearly not been treating Naruto well. The FRO had notified Sasuke with a phone call, and he promptly dispersed the news to Naruto's loved ones via the e-mail distribution list.
There were so many contacts on the list that he didn't recognize, not that it was a surprise given the relatively short amount of time Sasuke had known Naruto before he left. On nights when Naruto just needed to talk, he told Sasuke about quite a few of them. Indubitably, they all knew him now.
Kiba almost immediately responded with, "Thanks for letting me know."
He remembered Kiba enough to know that he wasn't this polite to everyone. He'd heard tales from Naruto. Sasuke let him repeat the same stories over again, pitching in with subtle sounds of acknowledgment. He wasn't one to waste his time hearing the same information twice, but it was a small price to pay for the levity in Naruto's voice when he spoke of his loved ones.
Sasuke didn't know if Naruto had shared Konohamaru's death with his friends. Despite knowing the basics of who they were, Sasuke didn't know how close Naruto was with them. It was an odd sort of power, if not slightly unnerving, delivering such weighty news to people he didn't even know. He couldn't help but feel undeserving at times. He answered Kiba with a simple "of course."
This freeze treated Sasuke more roughly than the others had. During the last River City, Naruto had nearly walked to his death. It was only out of dumb luck that he was spared. Surely, the enemy had been waiting for their perfect opportunity. Now that this chance had lapsed, perhaps they would grow less picky.
Perhaps they would take whatever they could get.
Sasuke tossed and turned throughout the night. He wished so badly to close his eyes and sleep, but whenever he did, he was haunted by visions of Naruto in peril. Visions of him bleeding and dead. He returned to work having slept not a wink.
He'd never had such a difficult time focusing before, torn by both anxiety and the pressing cravings to sleep at the most inconvenient times. He leaned on his coffee like a crutch. Freshening up in front of the mirror over his lunch break, he marveled at the miracles that a little bit of foundation, eye drops, and some hair gel could work.
It wasn't often that Sasuke had entirely sleepless nights. He usually got at least an hour or two, even if he was only half asleep. He went into the next night fully expecting that his exhaustion would provide at least some relief. Yet he was disappointed yet again. His eyes were almost painfully dry. He felt dizzy as he forced himself out of bed, almost as if he were on some sort of drug.
His heart told him that Naruto was the only thing that mattered, despite his brain's insistence that he had responsibilities to tend to. He hadn't slept for forty hours now, and his fingers trembled as he looked down at his hands. Sasuke swore. He was in no state to work. He was sure that some of his customers would be disappointed, but they'd be notably more so with a sloppy tattoo.
The third day without sleep left Sasuke raw. He hadn't had a wink in the last eighty hours. Words could not express how desperately he craved slumber. Sometimes it felt as though his consciousness slipped from him for minutes on end, all the while his eyes staring out dully and unblinkingly into space. Sasuke had always marveled at how similar severe sleep deprivation could feel to being high.
He could count on one hand the number of times that this had happened to him in his adult life, though it was by no means a rare occurrence throughout his adolescence. He noticed lights flicker in the periphery of his vision, and sometimes it seemed as though the room stretched out beneath his feet. The opposite wall would be sucked out into space like a tunnel. Shadows swept into his main line of sight, causing him to startle as they caught him unprepared.
Sasuke hadn't missed the hallucinations. He knew that he wasn't going mad; it was his body's natural reaction to sleep deprivation. He thought that he'd grown past this point, but he had vulnerabilities now that he didn't have in the past. He hadn't heard from Naruto or the FRO since the communications freeze had been placed, and a nagging voice in his mind kept telling Sasuke to expect the worst. After all, it had certainly happened before in his life.
Sasuke had no idea how long this could continue for. He hadn't left his apartment for the past two days, living off of delivery and salads. Cooking would only vex his nerves. Try as he might, he could think of nothing but Naruto. He remembered the pain that he'd heard in Naruto's voice. Even if Naruto was physically unscathed, the same could not be said for his spirit. Sasuke knew that Naruto was broken in a way that would never mend, at least not completely. And Sasuke was powerless to prevent that from happening again.
Anger, anxiety, longing, and sadness roared within Sasuke's body, begging for an outlet. The only thing that gave him peace was strumming at Naruto's guitar. He had learned quickly, though he wasn't surprised given his prowess with the piano. Maybe one day he'd tell Naruto that Ally was doing a lot more than just sitting on her stand.
When he played "Sweet Child of Mine," it reminded him of both Naruto and his mother. She used to sing it in the car, and somehow the song became so soft and gentle in her voice. She'd even sing it with no music, humming it in empty rooms like a lullaby as she cleaned. He missed hearing her voice from the other side of the house, perhaps muddled by the sound of plates clinking together or a vacuum cleaner.
Then Sasuke remembered Naruto strumming his guitar with wide abandon, belting out Hendrix's Voodoo Chile. He'd never own up to how watching Naruto play made his breath freeze, air perfectly still as it sat in his windpipe. The unique acoustics of this guitar reminded him of Naruto, as did the nod to classic rock. The instant he heard Naruto break out Voodoo Chile's syncopated riffs, he knew that he would respect Naruto as his equal in the world of music.
Naruto had so well described the appeal music held for Sasuke. When he played his instrument, the good and bad all melted away, leaving only space for his soul and the music. From the moment Naruto said that, Sasuke felt a sense of kinship with him. Without music, Sasuke had no idea whether or not he could have navigated through the trials of his youth. In the words of Bob Marley, "One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." He wondered if Naruto knew that quote too.
Yet all the music in the world couldn't tame Sasuke's vexed emotions, amplified a dozen fold by sleep deprivation. It took so little to set him off. His unsure hands dropped a bowl as he washed his dishes, causing it to shatter. In his restless energy, Sasuke barely suppressed the urge to punch a hole in his wall. As he sprinted on his treadmill to distract himself, he marveled at how his body could still move despite the extreme fatigue plaguing him.
Sasuke knew from experience that going past the three-day mark could be quite dangerous. The hallucinations would only worsen, and his emotions would become even more erratic as his inhibitions were silenced. His body was destined to collapse at some point, but he felt madness tug at his sleeve. He feared losing his judgment. Sasuke knew that it was just his sleeplessness talking. Sasuke stored a bottle of sleep aids that he kept for this reason specifically.
He paced throughout his apartment, craving the sleep that his mind denied him. He could've easily taken enough sleeping aids to knock him out, but he didn't want to miss the FRO's call. He knew from experience that the normal dose wouldn't suffice. Binging on sleep aids would leave him heavy as a rock, almost completely unarousable for periods as long as a day. Sometimes, this is what it took when Sasuke hit one of these bad episodes.
As he couldn't risk being out of commission, Sasuke realized he had one chance: liquor. He knew he was much more easily roused when he was drunk. Liquor was alright at getting Sasuke to sleep, though not so good at keeping him there. Still, even a few hours would help.
He poured himself a glass of gin and slowly sipped on it as the minutes passed. He moved to the bed, placing his ashtray on his bedside table. Given how rarely he smoked, he generally restricted it to his patio so as not to scent his apartment. With a deep inhale of his cigarette and a steady exhale, he decided that today would be an exception.
He took sips of gin between hits off of his cigarette, ignoring the hallucinations and his dry, gritty eyes. The soft buzz of nicotine reduced the torturous wired energy that kept his eyes open. He finished one glass and put out his cigarette. Then another glass. The next thing he knew, his phone was ringing, and it was dark out.
If Sasuke still hadn't been the slightest bit drunk, he would've had no idea that it was the same night. He noted that the FRO had texted him just minutes ago to announce that communications were on again. Sasuke swiftly grabbed the phone.
"Naruto?" he asked immediately, not waiting for the person on the other end of the line to speak.
"That's me."
Thank god. Sasuke let out a deep sigh, his cheeks almost imperceptibly flushed from the alcohol.
"What's goin' on? You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Naruto answered. "You're not drunk, are you?"
Sasuke knew his voice was slurring, if only slightly.
"A little. But I also just woke up."
He wasn't as drunk as he'd sounded. The grogginess from being awoken in the middle of slumber after days of sleeplessness was nothing to sneeze at.
"Gotcha…" Naruto replied. "Are you okay?"
Sasuke rubbed at the bridge of his nose, squinting his eyes as he struggled to catch his bearings. He must've been in a deep sleep indeed. It was no wonder, given how desperately he'd needed it.
"I'm good. I just needed a 'lil sleep."
He clearly wasn't winning his struggle against this lethargy. The last thing he wanted to do was worry Naruto, especially after everything Naruto had just endured. Naruto would worry over the silliest things, like how his flights went and whether or not he was getting enough rest. It was so like Naruto to focus on Sasuke's safety despite living in an open warzone. Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek roughly, tasting just the slightest hint of blood before he was satisfied. It helped.
"What's been going on?" Sasuke asked, coherent now. "Why'd you go off the grid?"
Despite how he struggled to gain his composure, he felt so much better than he had before. His vision was no longer distorted thanks to his rest, and he had Naruto on the phone.
"They'd been waiting for the perfect opportunity," Naruto said.
Sasuke hadn't wanted to be right.
"It's been an onslaught."
"Jesus…" Sasuke answered. "Are you hurt?"
"No, though I can't say the same for some of the others in my unit. We lost a couple."
The weight of those words woke Sasuke up like nothing else could. Naruto's voice was nothing but level, as if he were simply commenting on the weather. People in Naruto's unit were dying. What if…
No. He couldn't let himself think this way. It would only torture him.
"Naruto… Are you…"
"Yeah, I'm fine. We weren't all that close. Besides, I've cried all my tears. Nothing's left."
Sasuke searched for words and found none. He was powerless to shield Naruto from the reality of his situation. He wished he could take Naruto's place.
"At the very least, Neji, Tenten, and Lee are all unharmed."
Aside from Konohamaru and the other children of the village, those three were the only ones he'd spoken with Sasuke about.
"Good."
Sasuke wasn't one to mind silences, but this one stretched far too long. Naruto was adapting to his grim reality, his mind forming all the protections required to keep his sanity intact.
"I can't tell you how happy I am to hear your voice."
"I could say the same thing," Sasuke murmured.
He could hardly imagine the pain that Naruto was bound to be experiencing. If he could, he'd sell his soul to save Naruto from it.
"How've you been sleeping?"
How could Naruto worry about him, even at such a time? Maybe Naruto knew him well enough to pick up on these things.
"You know how that goes. Just had a nice nap though."
"How's work been?"
"Uh…" Sasuke began. He wasn't the quickest on his feet right now. "I took a break for a couple of days."
"You sure you're okay?" Naruto asked.
The man had just had two people die on him. The last thing he wanted to do was stress Naruto out with his own measly issues. He chided himself; he was usually so adept at hiding his emotions. As always, Naruto took the things Sasuke thought he knew about himself and turned them upside down.
"I'm fine. I promise."
Maybe "fine" was a stretch, but he was sure that he'd feel much better now that he'd gotten some sleep. He felt much more in control of his emotions. After the three days he'd been without, even a few hours made a world of difference. At the very least, the hallucinations would stop for the time being. Sasuke had come to regard them as his body's warning sign, as there was only so long a human could bear without sleep. If he didn't respond to that message, his judgment could become so compromised that he'd lose control of himself.
"Mn…" Naruto mumbled. "Okay."
Sasuke knew better than to ask Naruto what he'd been up to.
"Tell me a little about your day," Naruto said. "I could use the distraction."
Sasuke would pick out the highlights.
"I got some pho from a new Vietnamese joint by my place."
"How was it? Was it pho-nomenal?"
Sasuke never thought he'd be so happy to hear one of Naruto's cheesy puns. As Naruto filled Sasuke in on the damage his unit had taken, Naruto's tone was so detached that it almost felt like he was talking to another person. It warmed him to hear the familiar Naruto peeking through.
"You could say that."
He heard a chuckle from Naruto, and it made his heart thud. He felt his muscles relax, only now aware that they'd been so tense to begin with. Naruto's love warmed him like the sun, lulled him into a peaceful comfort that he never believed he could experience. Naruto's energy was so pure, and it reminded Sasuke that there really were beautiful things in this ugly world. Things worth fighting for.
This was the part of Naruto that Sasuke would do almost anything to protect.
"And I need a haircut," Sasuke added.
Sasuke wasn't one to be the active force in conversations, especially ones so trivial. But there were times Naruto wanted to talk and times he wanted to listen, to escape his reality through Sasuke. Sasuke had learned to guide him.
"Yeah?" Naruto asked. "Doin' anything fun?"
Sasuke still hadn't gotten over how quickly Naruto's demeanor would change as he focused on his civilian life.
"Keeping the red streaks and growing the bangs out. Nothing too different."
"Oh, I forgot to tell ya! I love red on you! It really suits you."
The slightest smile formed on Sasuke's face. He was glad he'd sent Naruto those pictures.
"My favorite colors are purple and blue, but thought it'd be a nice change of pace."
"Maaaan," Naruto sighed. "I'm so jealous of you. I have to keep my hair so short. I can't even wear earrings."
Now he remembered Naruto's spontaneous idea to get his ears pierced during their first date. The first time he kissed Naruto was more thrilling than he ever would've guessed, given the things he'd done in the past. It had been so confusing to him at the time, but it all made sense now.
"What a life…" Sasuke groused.
"You'll have to send more pictures after you get it cut. Damn, half the reason I want to go home so fast is to snatch you before anyone else grabs you."
Naruto chuckled as he finished that sentiment, but Sasuke knew that he wasn't completely joking.
"You know…" Naruto said quietly. "I wouldn't blame you. We only dated for a few weeks before I left. Asking you to commit the whole time I'm gone, to wait for years when you don't even know if I'll come back… That would be a lot for anyone."
The corners of Sasuke's lips sunk. He didn't want to think about Naruto not coming back. There wasn't much that he could do for Naruto, but at the very least he could ease this doubt in his mind.
"Naruto…"
"Mn?"
"I wanted to tell you…" Sasuke began. "You don't have to worry about that anymore."
"Huh?" Naruto asked, clearly perplexed.
Sasuke didn't exactly know what to say here.
"I want to enter into an exclusive relationship with you."
Naruto paused, and then guffawed. It was a warm, knee-slapping laughter that Sasuke missed hearing in person. Sasuke huffed at Naruto's reaction, rolling his eyes.
"That's gotta be the most unromantic way you could've put that. It suits you."
Sasuke smirked, and if he didn't know any better, he heard Naruto sniff. Several more proceeded, followed by a hiccup.
"Naruto, are you crying?"
"Shut up," Naruto answered, laughter in his voice.
Sasuke couldn't help but smile, knowing that these were tears of joy. Naruto didn't cry on the battlefield, but he cried now. It was such an abrupt disconnect.
"How'd you figure it out? What changed your mind?"
Sasuke paused for a moment. It was a pointed question. In any other circumstance, he would've told Naruto the truth without hesitation. However, given everything that had happened to him over the past several days, he hated to burden Naruto further. Still, he wouldn't lie.
"I…"
"Hm?"
Sasuke bit his lip.
"I wasn't hesitating all this time because I thought that I didn't care for you enough. You know that, right?"
Naruto seemed to hesitate for a bit.
"Hm, if you say so. But if you and another person both love each other a lot, why wouldn't you just become an item?"
The way Naruto said it made it sound so simple. It was the way most of society thought about romantic love, a formula almost everyone followed. A committed, monogamous relationship was viewed as the ultimate sign of love, with any other arrangement seen as a weaker form. Amatonormativity was an ever-present force in society. Accordingly, it was difficult for most people to understand him, but Sasuke never cared enough about their opinions to explain.
"There are some people out there who just don't do well with monogamous relationships. An exclusive relationship isn't the only superlative form of love."
"And you thought you were one of them?" Naruto asked.
Sasuke shrugged, despite the fact that Naruto couldn't see him. He wanted Naruto to understand him, so he chose his words carefully. This sobered him up like not much else could.
"I wasn't sure, but it seemed like it. It's rare to never have been in a real romantic relationship at my age. Yet I slept with people without feeling even the slightest hint of emotional attachment. I'd come to think that my heart and my sex drive wouldn't ever be linked."
Sasuke paused for a moment. When Naruto said nothing, he continued.
"I met some people through the scene who are like that. Some people are in sexually open relationships but practice what's called emotional fidelity. They truly love each other, more than what I've seen in most traditional relationships."
Sasuke was trying not to drown Naruto in words. He'd seen enough to understand that these things could work. He'd also seen enough to understand that some people are wired in a certain way, and trying to force themselves into society's roles only caused issues.
"What…" Naruto answered. "Uh, what does all that mean?"
Sasuke wondered if he was throwing too much at Naruto at once.
"Emotional fidelity?" Sasuke asked.
"Yeah."
"It's the concept that a partner's emotional intimacy and love should be committed to one person without being committed sexually."
Sasuke knew that this could work in some situations, but it was not for everyone. Both parties had to be comfortable with this sort of relationship, and Sasuke didn't believe that Naruto could ever thrive in one.
"I… I think I can understand that," Naruto answered slowly. "It's just so different from how I operate."
"Same here, ends up," Sasuke mumbled.
He knew this for a fact now. He'd never have to doubt it again.
"There's more than one way to do things. I've seen it work, even with married couples. They hide it from the world, because people don't understand. It was about how they're wired, not how much they care about the person."
He heard Naruto sigh.
"Man, I'm glad that's not you. I get the concept, but…"
Sasuke knew what he was about to say.
"Yeah. Just like some people aren't wired for monogamy, many people need both emotional and sexual commitment."
This conversation was going better than he'd anticipated. Naruto didn't fully understand, but at least he was trying. Sasuke had always found Naruto to be open-minded.
"I can't even imagine not being 'wired' for monogamy," Naruto answered.
Most people couldn't, Sasuke found. He wasn't sure whether this was driven more by human nature or amatonormativity. After all, humans carried the biological imprint of polygamy. Most early human societies were indeed polygamous, and it was even now still widely accepted in some cultures.
"And just like that, I couldn't imagine being wired for relationships. I'd gone my life without even the ghost of a desire for one, so I just assumed. Then you came along."
Naruto's pauses didn't make him as uncomfortable now.
"So, how did you figure all of this out?"
That question had circled around again. Sasuke bit his lip.
"The only way for me to know for sure was to test it."
"Test it?" Naruto began. "What do you mean?"
Sasuke felt himself squirm in his bed, ever so slightly. He remembered Deidara's scent and how badly it made him miss Naruto's. This was the part of the conversation he dreaded the most.
"I tried with someone else. All I could think about was you."
"You…" Naruto trailed. "You slept with someone else?"
Sasuke could hear the shock and hurt in Naruto's voice. Whatever motivations Sasuke had, this was the simple truth. Sasuke's brows were furrowed, and he rubbed at his forehead.
"Yes," Sasuke replied, somewhat painfully. "If I didn't know these things for sure, I'd constantly doubt myself should I enter into any commitment."
The seconds of silence that proceeded felt like torture.
"Fuck…" Naruto answered with a sigh. "Well, it's not like you cheated or anything. We're in an open relationship."
Sasuke knew that he hadn't broken any rules. He had been glad to hear Naruto say earlier that he understood Sasuke's reluctance to commit. It was true that they'd only briefly dated before Naruto left, though their chemistry had been insurmountable. Never had Sasuke felt such a strong bond develop within him so quickly, even long before the world had hardened him.
Yet it didn't make hearing the hurt in Naruto's voice any less painful.
"We were in an open relationship."
"Heh," Naruto chuckled, and Sasuke could so clearly envision his smile. "So no more of that from you, hm?"
"No," Sasuke said softly. "Even if you forced me into a life of celibacy, I'd wait an eternity."
He heard Naruto sniffing again.
"Fuck, I'm so glad…"
"Are you okay, Naruto? I know I hit you with a lot."
Naruto was being understanding, but Sasuke knew Naruto. He knew that Naruto constantly feared that Sasuke would leave him. He wanted Sasuke all for himself, wanted Sasuke to love him in a way he would no one else. Sasuke wouldn't forget Naruto's words, spoken in the heat of an argument.
I know you're not as into this as I am, but do you have to make it so fucking obvious?
He tried to reassure Naruto where he could that this simply wasn't the case.
"I can't lie and say I'm not bummed that you slept with someone else. But I grasped a while ago that sex, romance, and emotional connection can be treated quite separately by you. I worried that no matter how close we got, you'd never make that leap."
Sasuke couldn't help but feel sick to his stomach, knowing that his experiment with Deidara had hurt Naruto. He still couldn't find it in himself to regret it. Otherwise, his uncertainty might have led him to let the love of his life pass him by.
"The whole time… I just missed you. I tried to pretend it was you. Now I understand it. For the first time in my life, I can say I'm in love, and I could never touch anyone else."
Maybe the alcohol was making him brave, despite how coherently he was conversing. He couldn't believe the words he'd just spoken. "I'm in love." The words felt unreal as they left his lips.
"I may not be the best person, but I want to give you the love you deserve," Sasuke said, determination leaking into his words. "I'm willing to learn if you're willing to teach me."
"I think you underestimate yourself," Naruto replied, and Sasuke could hear the smile in his voice. "You know plenty about love. Throughout this whole mess, you've always been there for me."
It warmed Sasuke to hear that he had at least been doing something for Naruto. He wasn't completely powerless.
"And I won't stop," Sasuke answered without hesitation.
"Sasu…" Naruto said quietly, lovingly. "Thank you."
"You would do the same for me."
"Heh… Yeah. I'd do just about anything for you."
Sasuke could've sworn he felt his cheeks grow a little warmer. What had he ever done to deserve someone like Naruto in his life? Life was unfair, but for once that fact was working in his favor.
"Then fight as hard as you can while you're gone. Stay strong and come back to me," Sasuke replied. "I'll wait."
Again, he heard sniffling, and a sharp inhale of air. Naruto was crying again.
"God, I just feel so...relieved. But if you ever do that again," Naruto's voice was soft, his voice shaking. "I'll cut off your balls."
Sasuke couldn't help but snicker at Naruto saying this, even as the Marine fought tears of happiness.
"Sounds fair."
The months passed more quickly as they fell into a steady cadence, though whenever River City was called, it seemed as though time came to a halt for both of them. Months of peace were peppered with action. Naruto had grown accustomed to life or death situations. This most recent time, he'd had a particularly close call. It had been over so quickly that they had no need to freeze communications.
But this wasn't what Naruto wanted to discuss with Sasuke now. Every now and again, Sasuke would send him a care package, with pictures, drawings, and handwritten letters. Yet Sasuke's most recent package contained something very special, and Naruto was left breathless as he revealed the contents of the unassuming box: a thick metal band. Naruto had just received it yesterday, tears brimming his eyes as he scanned the area for any onlookers. Sasuke said he had one that matched.
Sasuke didn't often tell Naruto that he loved him with words, but with every passing day he conveyed it through his actions. That was all Naruto needed. Each day brought him closer to being in Sasuke's arms. It had been so long since he'd last been touched. Almost two years had passed since Naruto was sent out to fight.
As he opened it, he remembered the exact conversation where Sasuke had weedled Naruto's ring size out of him. He'd been subtle - apparently Sasuke had been wearing more rings lately. He complained that oftentimes, they didn't have masculine rings that fit him because his fingers, so long and delicate, were too slim. Who carries size sevens for men? By the way, do you ever have problems buying rings?
He was pleased to be placing another call to Sasuke. After two rings, Sasuke answered.
"Hey," Sasuke answered, sounding a little occupied.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Hold on a sec. Recep-"
"What?"
Silence over the line.
"-subway."
"I didn't hear anything you just said."
"I was saying that I'm coming up from the subway. Reception's shit down here."
"Ahh, gotcha."
Sasuke must've been on his way home from work. The times lined up.
"Alright, I'm out."
"How was work?" Naruto asked, hopeful that Sasuke would share some details. Sasuke knew that the details, as inconsequential as they seemed to him, could help Naruto get through the day. Naruto was sure that the tattooist heard it in his voice.
"More eventful than usual."
"Yeah?"
Naruto couldn't help but live through Sasuke. It gave him the feeling of at least some level of normalcy. He was glad that he could speak to Kiba and Sakura as well. The day Sakura's deployment ended made Naruto feel so giddy that he could've danced. She'd made it.
"Some network exec came in right after close. She said she wanted to create a reality show about the Grip."
Naruto couldn't help but laugh, especially knowing Sasuke's personality and purist regard for his craft. Sasuke brutally shut down even the idea of creating branded merchandise, let alone a televised reality series. Sasuke had recently attended his convention in Berlin; it was his second time as a panelist. Sasuke's business was growing at an astounding rate.
"A reality show? Seriously? What did you say to that?"
"I told her to go fuck herself."
"Heh, holy shit," Naruto chuckled. "You didn't really say that, did you?"
It wasn't much of a stretch, given Sasuke's personality.
"Oh, of course not," Sasuke answered, his voice full of mock offense. "I'd never be so unprofessional to a prospective business partner. It was more like, 'Get the fuck out of my parlor.'"
Naruto found himself laughing again, cherishing the uncommon levity in Sasuke's voice. It was a rare situation that Sasuke couldn't put a smile on his face.
"Oh, that's much better."
"See?" Sasuke answered in his level tone of voice that sounded so serious. "Have a little faith."
He couldn't stop himself from laughing. He'd always wanted to be on TV, actually. Sasuke could've been the star of what was basically his own TV show.
"That's wild though," Naruto replied. "A TV show? I don't know if I could've turned that down."
Yet Sasuke's decision was anything but surprising to Naruto.
"And be a laughing stock?" Sasuke questioned. "Reality shows appeal to that morbid curiosity people get when they pass wrecks on the highway. People can't help but stare, and like hell that's gonna be my business off the side of the road."
Naruto paused to think about this.
"Karin and Suigetsu were a little disappointed, but they understood my decision."
Naruto sighed, feeling the slightest hint of insecurity. Of course, he'd never utter a word of this to Sasuke.
"Man, are you gettin' famous or something?"
Sasuke's prolonged groan at least partially answered his question.
"I don't mind being popular in the community, but strangers are starting to recognize me off the streets."
Naruto certainly wouldn't have minded fame, but he was sure that Sasuke couldn't say the same. He'd been clear with Naruto that he wanted to be well-known and respected among the tattooist community. He just didn't want it interfering with his daily life.
"Ah, what a difficult life it is for you. Poor baby," Naruto teased.
He heard Sasuke scoff from the other side of the line.
"Most of these people aren't even familiar with my work. Half the time they're just flirting with me. They probably saw my face on the internet or some trade magazine. I'm a tattooist, not a fucking model."
Frustration was soaking Sasuke's tone. He wanted to be known for his craft, not for his appearance. He could see how Sasuke might find this insulting.
"I get it. Still, I can't believe I have a famous boyfriend!"
Sasuke clucked his tongue.
"I'm not famous. I just have a memorable face."
"I can't deny that."
Who could ever forget that face? The man was lethally attractive.
Still, it wasn't like his body was any more forgettable. As if his slender, graceful, and powerful frame weren't enough, the intricate and beautiful designs inked on his skin could leave Naruto staring for hours. Of course, he'd never done so in front of Sasuke.
He so keenly remembered the purple snake twisting around Sasuke's arms, chrysanthemum flowers providing splashes of light blue around the snakes coils. The fierce and brilliant phoenix taking up his entire back, the flames on Sasuke's back speaking to the unknown trials that Sasuke endured and his triumph over them. Trials that Sasuke had yet to share with him, even after all this time. As supportive as Sasuke could be, Naruto knew in his gut that part of him was still untouchable, like a powerful lone wolf avoiding the light of towns.
He remembered the words "Nemini Cedimus" tattooed on Sasuke's chest. When Naruto hit rough times, when he saw others slaughtered around him, he remembered Sasuke's intense and unyielding stare. Sasuke always felt like a force of nature to him, a puzzle he had yet to solve. Naruto knew that to stand beside Sasuke, he must match Sasuke's strength. And so he kept fighting, knowing he'd come back to Sasuke's arms. And he made sure that everyone else in his unit did the same.
"Hey, Sasuke…" Naruto began.
"Hm?"
"I got your package."
This was the meat of what Naruto had wanted to address in this conversation.
"Good."
Naruto had gotten better at reading Sasuke's monosyllabic responses. Without seeing his face, it could be difficult, but he'd had to develop these skills the countless times he'd been on his stomach with Sasuke. He longed to feel Sasuke's needle kiss his skin again.
"I loved it," Naruto said. "I'm wearing the ring right now."
Naruto subconsciously brought his ring hand up to his face and smiled as he looked down at it, palm facing the ground. It was thin and fell just short of a centimeter in length. He wore the dark grey band on his left ring finger, which he certainly didn't want to admit to Sasuke.
"Yeah, me too."
Naruto felt himself grin ear to ear, his eyes almost shut. It made him feel as though he left his own mark on Sasuke.
"It's amazing. Simple but elegant."
"I tried for something comfortable, since you don't usually wear rings. The carbide is domed a little where it meets your finger rather than flat."
Naruto gave the ring a closer look. Sasuke was right. It allowed more room for his skin to breathe, and it was easier to slip over his knuckle. Sasuke knew that Naruto frequently used his hands, and the heat could become oppressive. He was far more thoughtful than he gave himself credit for.
"Yeah, it is comfy," Naruto answered, feeling his stomach flutter a bit. Even after over a year, he still found himself feeling like a lovestruck teenager sometimes. He couldn't take his eyes off of his ring.
"Hey uh… What finger do you wear it on? I mean…"
Naruto flustered, knowing exactly how Sasuke would interpret this.
"You know, since they never carry your size," Naruto corrected. "Do you have to wear it on your thumb or something?"
"No," Sasuke asked. "They had my size."
Another pause. Sasuke sighed, no doubt well aware of what Naruto was trying to get at before he awkwardly changed course. Sasuke took a perverse pleasure out of flustering him.
"If you want to know, yes, I wear it on my left ring finger."
If Naruto had been drinking something, he would've choked.
"What! Does that… I mean, people will think you're-"
"Married?" Sasuke interrupted. "That's the point."
Naruto knew his cheeks were flushing bright red and didn't care. While Naruto was happy that Sasuke had been successful, he couldn't help but feel jealous about Sasuke's growing popularity. He didn't like the idea of other people looking at Sasuke like that.
"I generally have no problem turning people down, but when it's a customer, there's this inconvenient thing called etiquette you need to fuck with."
It was just like Sasuke to be so practical. Regardless of Sasuke's motivation, it left Naruto glowing. He felt so happy he could explode.
"Naruto?"
He hadn't realized that he'd forgotten to speak.
"Oh! I'm still here!"
"Damn," Sasuke sighed. "What a space cadet…"
"Hey!" Naruto shot back. "Am not!"
"Mn," Sasuke responded simply, and Naruto felt such comfort in his calm tone of voice. "I wish I'd done it a long time ago. Saves trouble."
He had contemplated telling Sasuke about his close call. Someone opened fire on Lee, and Naruto just happened to be in the right place at the right time. He was able to shove Lee out of the way, just as a bullet grazed his upper arm. It was a superficial wound, and no one was hurt. He'd needed only ten stitches, though it'd leave a scar. Naruto thought that that was pretty badass.
"Heeey, guess what," Naruto said.
"What?" Sasuke responded flatly.
"I got a badass scar now."
There was brief silence over the line.
"You idiot," Sasuke replied. "How did that happen?"
"So… I kinda like… I was doing this action movie level lunge, okay?"
"Okay?" Sasuke answered, sounding impatient.
"And the enemy was shooting and everything. It was like poom poom poom! So I just fuckin dive. It totally grazed me! Barely."
He'd leave out the bit about potentially saving Lee's life. Shoving him out of the way was a no brainer; it didn't deserve any praise.
"You were almost shot?"
Sasuke was nowhere near as amused by the situation as Naruto had hoped he would be.
"Well, technically I was shot, but it's really superficial. Just needed ten stitches and a tiny square of gau-"
"Idiot, that's serious," Sasuke snapped.
"No, it's not! It's like the papercut of gunshot wounds. But isn't that badass? Too bad the scar is so wimpy."
Sasuke's sigh was laden with frustration.
"It could've been much worse. You need to be more careful," Sasuke snarled.
Naruto huffed, disappointed that Sasuke wasn't as enthused about this as he was.
"This isn't a game," Sasuke added.
Naruto's voice grew somber as he found himself frowning.
"Sasuke, I know that far too well."
He heard Sasuke issue a long exhale.
"Sorry. I know you're just trying to be positive."
"I still think battle scars are pretty metal," Naruto mumbled.
"Don't go looking for more," Sasuke replied, his voice not so irked now.
"Heh," Naruto answered, beaming. "I won't. 'M just gettin rugged. Sexy, huh?"
"You don't need scars for that," Sasuke replied, and he heard the smallest hint of teasing in his voice.
"Hey, Sasuke…"
"Mn?"
"I wear it on the same finger."
Naruto heard the softest exhale, the sound painting a picture in Naruto's mind of the smile he knew Sasuke was wearing on his face.
"I wonder if they'll send us home soon…" Naruto trailed off. "In another four months, I'll have been gone for two years."
Sometimes it felt as though he had left decades ago, with some of the things he'd seen. His civilian life felt so far away. Yet other times, like when he heard Sasuke's voice and talked about the times they'd shared, it felt as he'd only left weeks ago.
"Yeah…"
"Ah, I can't wait," Naruto almost whined. "First, you'll pick me up at the airport. Then steak dinner at your place. Then… Heh."
The two of them had already gone through what they'd be doing together on Naruto's first night back. Sasuke smirked.
"There are a few things I wanna do. The obvious thing is putting the finishing touches on my tat. I miss being in your chair."
It was so odd to think that at a time, he had been nothing but a customer to Sasuke.
"I miss having you there."
Naruto hummed as he allowed himself to dream.
"I'd love to go to Coney Island at night again. That was really fun. Especially at the end."
He heard Sasuke snicker. They both remembered that, pressed against each other as Sasuke took both of their manhoods in his hand. How they finally orgasmed as the waves lapped at their legs, no one the wiser.
"I might get a new piercing," Sasuke mused.
"Yeah? Where?"
"I don't know," Sasuke answered. "Maybe you could give me some ideas."
Naruto's eyes widened as he felt his entire face flush yet again. Sasuke had no idea what he did to him sometimes.
"Wait, my pick?!"
"I never said that."
"Uh… I… Don't do it without me?"
He felt a little selfish, but he wanted to be there if Sasuke got another piercing or tattoo. Otherwise, it would feel as though too much time had passed without him.
"You know I wouldn't."
"Hmmm," Naruto almost purred, like a cat basking in sunlight.
"Hey, you gonna be done any time soon?"
Naruto hadn't noticed a young woman with a neat bun walk up next to him.
"Oh… Yeah, I'm just about done," Naruto answered. "Sorry, I got caught up."
"No worries."
"Have to go?" Sasuke asked.
"Yeah," Naruto groaned. "But don't worry. Things have been calm for the most part, so I should be able to call you tomorrow."
"I guess that'll do," Sasuke teased.
"Well… Goodbye, hun."
"Later."
Though it always felt like the last thing Naruto wanted to do, he hung up the phone.
Hope everyone enjoyed.
I did my best to explain Sasuke's point of view regarding his hesitance in committing to Naruto sexually. There are so many different ways a romantic relationship can work, and no single one is inherently better than the others (despite society shaming people for them). I've definitely seen that myself.
Thank you so much for everyone's awesome comments! They really motivate me to write and helped me pick up some momentum.