— CHAPTER SIX —

Diversions and Dinner

Over the next few days, they — well, if Remus told the truth, he and James — formed a plan, while Sirius pretended too hard to be uninterested and Peter pretended too hard to be interested. In fact, Remus thanked Godric for this distance due to that incensed, disbelieving look Sirius had shot him the other night. Every second Remus had to spend alone with Sirius was a second Remus felt his skin crawl and his mind race with thoughts of being discovered—for being a werewolf or, worse, Gobstones club.

The latest meeting they had happened in their Herbology lesson, four boys concealed by writhing rosebushes, talking in hushed voices. Herbology lessons were often full of loud chatter anyway, so their discussions of the prank went unnoticed.

"Well, I did find a spell," Remus was saying to the other boys while wrangling with a vibrating rosebush. "It delays the effects of any spell cast afterwards."

"Awesome." James clapped his hands together.

Peter tilted his head, much like a little rodent would. "How's that going to help us?"

"Weren't you listening? We have to make sure the food doesn't turn into birds before they transport to the Great Hall, or they'll fly away, and then we'll be the idiots," said Sirius, but his voice was cheerful, and he started tickling Peter in jest. James joined in, and the three boys hooted were hooting with laughter.

"Boys!" boomed Professor Sprout's voice from the other end of the greenhouse. "Back to the rosebushes, now."

"Yes, Professor," they chorused back.

"We still need to find a way to distract the elves so that we can actually cast the spell, though," mused James.

As he said this, in strolled Professor Jewel. The sight of the Defence teacher excited Remus, for Professor Jewel's lessons were getting better each and every day. He'd brought in new creatures, and taught them all the ways to fight them, but also to treat them correctly. His amber moustache wrinkled as he stepped in and smelt the greenhouse.

"Good morning, Professor," said the class cheerfully as Professor Jewel waltzed in, who shared Remus's feelings about Professor Jewel.

"Wriggling Rosebushes!" he said, tugging absent-mindedly on a stray vine. "How fun. What I'd give to have had a Herbology professor half as fun as you when I went to Hogwarts, Pomona."

Professor Sprout, who had been in a bad mood the start of the lesson, looked pleased. "What brings you here, Jiminy?"

"Just stopping by on the way to errands." Professor Jewel's eyes wrinkled when he smiled.

"Good — morning — Professor," Remus managed to get out while tugging on a rosebush that tended to tug back.

"What errands are you running, sir?" asked James, his head poking out from behind another bush.

"I'm finding a new creature for class," the professor said, rubbing his hands together excitedly. "Be ready for next Monday, kids!" The class cheered.

Peter, again, was so excited that he yanked a rose too hard, only for it to yank him too hard back. Peals of laughter erupted around the greenhouse as all the second years watched Peter struggle up and down with the violent rosebush.

"Mr Pettigrew!" Professor Jewel looked frazzled, patting down his robes. "My wand, where's my wand…"

"Allow me," said Professor Sprout briskly. With a wave of a wand, the rosebush fell limp and Peter was gasping on the dirt floor.

After chuckling at the turn of events, Professor Jewel made his exit, promising an exciting Monday morning lesson for the second years.

As soon as he had left, an owl swooped in the greenhouse. This caught the attentions of the second-years, who watched in surprise as the owl delivered a small letter to Professor Sprout.

"Back to your rosebushes!" she barked. After a moment's pause to read the letter, and after everyone pretended to go back to deflowering, she said, "I have to go somewhere for a while, but when I come back, I expect all these bushes to be rose-free, understand?"

Murmurs of assent rumbled throughout the class. As soon as Professor Sprout left, the class began to chat cheerfully and without abandon, rosebushes left untouched.

"Hey, you can try out that spell now, Remus, right?" said James excitedly.

Remus tried to suppress his immediate embarrassment at being put on the spot. "Er, yeah, all right. Tardify!" he said, pointing his wand at one of the rosebushes on the ground, then, "Wingardium Leviosa."

The rosebush remained firmly on the floor. The four Marauders stared at it.

Sirius turned to Remus. "Well? Nothing's happening."

"It's the point of the spell," said Remus. "You have to wait."

"Boring," yawned Sirius, stretching out his long, pale arms, then saying, "Oi!" when a stray rose vine crept up along his arm.

"Ooh, Remus, it's working!" Peter said excitedly. Sure enough, the rosebush was finally starting to hover in the air, lifting up slowly—until it revealed what was underneath.

"What the—"

There was an unmistakeable flash of white darting out from beneath it to another bush, but Remus hissed —

"Shh!" said Remus hurriedly, reaching down to grab the misbehaving rabbit in his arms. He tucked a disgruntled Ruby into his robes. Now Ruby was obscured, but there was a large, obvious lump at Remus's arm. Sigh. He was going to give her such a talking-to.

None of the Gryffindor girls had seen, Remus thought. Not Marlene, not Mary, not Dorcas, not even Lily.

"What's Ruby doing here?" asked Sirius, thankfully much quieter than Peter.

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" he snapped at Ruby.

Her muffled words were almost impossible to hear. "I'm bowed."

"She's bored," Remus sighed.

"Too white I am," peeped Ruby. It took Remus a moment to register that Ruby had meant: Too right I am. Her baby talk again.

Sirius laughed, which sort of irritated Remus. "I'd be bored too. Cooped up in that room all day, nothing to do."

"Yeah, well, it's her fault for being here," said Remus, but he felt guilty. "Good Godric, I'll have to find a way to return her to Gryffindor Tower before Sprout gets back here."

"Dunno why you're so annoyed," James said. "I mean, Ruby's nothing on a dragon. They probably wouldn't even get you in that much trouble for having a rabbit."

"I guess," said Remus. He wondered why he was so adamant about Ruby staying inside the dorm all the time.

"Hey, you could use that Tardify charm to make James's shampoo to turn into hair dye while he's in the shower!" said Sirius suddenly. Remus appreciated this switch in topic where they all thought of possible comical uses for the Delaying Charm.

James shook suddenly when Sirius suggested delaying a Snake-Transfiguration charm on Ruby when she curled up in bed with Remus, so Remus got a nasty surprise when he woke up. "I finally have an idea," gasped James, but this was interrupted by Peter.

"Guys, do you hear that?" he squeaked. Confused, Remus listened out and, sure enough, he felt rather than heard the rumble in the distance.

"What is that?" he wondered.

Others in the greenhouse were also looking around, confused. Another rumble. Two Hufflepuff girls stopped chatting to stare at the leftmost wall, where the source of the noise came from beyond. The glass wall was obscured by the writhing rosebushes covering it. Another rumble, louder this time. Lily, the only one doing her work, placed down her shears to listen out. Ruby squirmed in Remus's robes. The rose bushes seemed to still.

He was just about to turn around to Sirius, ask him what he thought was going on, when the wall came crashing down. There were shrieks and chaos and stampeding feet, but Remus's only attention was the glass raining down on the dirt floor.

"RUN!" bellowed someone in the distance.

The glass shards glittered in the sunlight, which through the newly-created hole in the had thought the rosebushes were violent, but they were nothing compared to the chaos caused by the massive tree slamming its roots down onto the earth.

Remus gawked. What in Godric's name was happening? Was this — was this a Wandering Willow? In Hogwarts?

The earth shook once more as the Willow's roots slammed down onto the dirt floor, and Remus almost fell from the tremor that resulted. Glass went flying into the air, and more people were speeding past Remus towards the door.

"Come on!" demanded Sirius, tugging on Remus's sleeve.

They darted from the classroom, but not before Remus felt the violent vibrations of the Wandering Willow continuing its pace behind them, smashing through more of the greenhouse's glass walls — or was it the ceiling that it was breaking through? Remus glanced back and, yep, the Wandering Willow was lumbering towards the flood of second years piling out of the classroom.

Eventually, they all managed to outrun the tree, which, though it had taken them all by surprise, was slower than they were. After it became clear they were safe, the second-year Gryffindor and Hufflepuffs all stilled, gasping for breath on a footpath that winded up near the path of the castle.

"Is everyone okay?" panted Professor Jewel, who was staggering up behind them. "I shouted 'Run!' but I think it was too late. I'm so sorry, everyone."

"I think we're all okay, sir," said James.

"Yep, all okay," said Sirius, who looked unfairly unfazed from the run.

"Good, good," he said. "If only I hadn't misplaced my wand."

"It happens to everyone, sir," one of the Gryffindor girls said shyly, and some of them tittered; this confused Remus.

"What is that, though?" said Peter, pointing at the Wandering Willow. After it had finished decimating one of the greenhouses, the tree was now making its way along the Hogwarts grounds, near where the Whomping Willow stood. Perhaps it was going to say hello.

"It's a Wandering Willow," Lily answered promptly. "It's a tree that moves only when awoken from their deep slumbers, and only to find somewhere else where they can sleep properly."

"I didn't know that," said Remus mildly.

Sirius, despite everything, gave a short bark of laughter and reached for Remus's head to rub it hard. "Lupin not knowing something? Impossible."

Remus giggled, and was about to engage in retaliation when a squeal caught him by surprise. "Sir, it's going towards the groundskeeper's house!" shrieked Lily. "We have to stop it."

The Wandering Willow was stomping past the Whomping Willow and towards the groundskeeper Hagrid's humble shack near the Forbidden Forest. Remus gulped. It certainly was going to run right through it unless it was stopped.

"Miss Evans, you can't —" started Professor Jewel, but Lily was already darting down, fumbling for the wand in her robes.

James jerked into movement as soon as Lily left, running after her and calling for her to stop. Remus gave a long-suffering sigh — why were his friends so impulsive? — and burst into a dart, chasing after them. "Remus!" he heard Sirius call, hearing the sound of footsteps against grass behind him.

"Lily!" Remus yelled out. "Stop!"

Remus saw James catch up to Lily and grab onto her arm, but she jerked it away. She wasn't even looking at James; she was only paying attention to the Wandering Willow making its way down towards Hagrid's house.

"Immobulus!" shouted Lily, and a jet of light burst from her wand that hit the tree's thick trunk. As the Wandering Willow's roots rose once more to take another step, Remus thought he saw it falter just a bit, but it regained its speed and made its determined way down the Hogwarts grounds. Lily's face fell.

Remus finally caught up to James and Lily. Sirius finally caught up to Remus, grabbing his shoulder. It was a difficult situation. They were all trying to keep pace with the tree, which had huge, long strides, while James was trying to keep Lily away from the dangerously powerful tree roots stomping away.

"Immobulus," Lily said once more, and once again the tree stilled for just the slightest second before it kept walking.

"Guys," panted Remus. His feet stung from all this running. He had never run so much. "Guys, we need to cast that spell. We need to copy Lily. Lily, what's the spell?"

The tree was approaching the groundskeeper's shack. As they almost tripped over themselves trying to follow the moving tree, Lily cast the spell once more, and he, Sirius, and James all took out their wands and panted out the incantation. "Immobulus! Immobulus! Immobulus!"

Blue light kept hitting the tree, exploding in sparks as it hit the hard trunk. The tree was not slowing down.

Lily had begun to run ahead of the tree, which made James's eyes widen and his feet go even faster than before, chasing after her. What was Lily doing? Remus wanted to scream. "Hagrid, Hagrid!" Lily was shrieking, waving her hands, which made her attempt to slow down the tree at the same time all the more difficult. "Immobulus! Hagrid, get out, get out, there's a Wandering Willow! IMMOBULUS!"

From the distance Remus was at (which was not very far, at the rate the tree was going), he saw Hagrid lumber out of his house, shoving a huge beast of a dog out of the way to reach for an even huger, pink umbrella. He began to bellow the incantation along with them, which helped their cause a lot. Who knew the groundskeeper was so good at magic?

"Hit the roots," gasped Remus, and all five wands were pointed directly at those thick wooden roots that lifted into the air, then slammed back down to move.

Had Remus ever cast a spell this many times in succession? His arm was getting tired. Lily and James were panicking, trying to get as far from the tree as possible.

Finally, finally, it seemed to be working. The Wandering Willow was slowing down, thank Godric. The spells seemed to be working. Its roots were getting slower, were raising at a slower rate.

Peter came tumbling in finally, gasping for breath, casting, "Immobulus," along with them. With the combined efforts of five wands and one umbrella at work, the Wandering Willow finally came to a stop. It was scarcely five metres away from the shack and Lily and James's cowering figures. Hagrid took a look at the still tree and said a word that would make Remus's mother screech.

Remus finally stopped running, clutching his heaving chest like a lifeline. "Holy Helga. That was—"

"—wicked," finished Sirius, grinning. He still didn't look tired.

Remus almost smacked him. Almost.

"I was so worried about you," scolded Remus to the rabbit that night. "But," he sighed, relieved, "I'm glad you're safe."

Remus hadn't even noticed Ruby had went missing that entire time that the Wandering Willow had ravaged all over the greenhouse. Guilt as heavy as stones settled in his stomach and refused to go away. He should've been more careful. So should Ruby, but really, what did he expect from her anymore?

It was fine, though. She had told him that as soon as the Wandering Willow had slammed its roots into the greenhouse and rained glass down on all of them, she had quickly darted out from Remus's robes and went back to the safety of the Gryffindor Common Room. Apparently, she and the Fat Lady had gained some sort of non-verbal rapport. It was apparently the most exciting time Ruby had had since she had come to Hogwarts.

"And it'll stay the most exciting event you'll have at Hogwarts," reprimanded Remus, giving Ruby a rub on her belly, more out of his own relief than anything.

"Do you know what isn't exciting?" said James loudly from his bed. "Getting detention for saving someone's life. And his house! And throw in saving Evans's life too, 'cause without us, she'd be remains on the bottom of a Wandering Willow. Stupid Professor Sprout," muttered James, "panting and hobbling over from whatever she was doing, coming over like she knew what was happening. Giving us detention."

Peter giggled.

"Hear, hear," agreed Sirius, who sat lazily on his own bed.

"You did ignore Professor Jewel's orders," reasoned Remus.

James sighed. "Always so correct, Lupin. Well, you know what I have to say?" He leapt up on his bed, startling Peter so much that Peter fell off from his bed. "Stuff that detention! I'm gonna get all the detentions in the world to let teachers know that they don't matter at all."

"Hear, hear," said Sirius once more after he'd finished laughing at Peter. "We need to do that prank, remember?"

"But how?" asked Peter. "We need to find a way to make the house-elves leave the kitchens. And you know they would never do that."

Remus hummed in agreement. "I can't think of anything either."

Sirius suddenly looked alive. "I got it. I got it. James, I got it."

"What is it?" asked James eagerly.

"The answer to our problems," said Sirius, grinning, "is right there."

At first Remus thought Sirius was pointing at Remus. But then, Remus slowly realised that the answer to their problems wasn't Remus, but rather what — no, who — lay in Remus's arms.

"Secret for secret?"

"What?" said Remus, almost jerking from his position in the alcove. Thankfully, he did not fall out, otherwise surely their operation would be ruined. The light emitted from their two wands was enough to illuminate their hiding place. Remus turned to look up at Sirius, who was faux-nonchalantly examining the dirt underneath his nails. Remus himself was kneeling down, but Sirius, always the rebel, was standing even though James had expressly told them sitting would make the best hiding position.

"Secret for secret," repeated Sirius, blinking. "It's our thing. Did you forget?"

"No, I knowit's our thing," said Remus, shifting his position ever so slightly. Ruby in his arms squirmed a bit. She was uncharacteristically silent. "I just —" He gave a small breath of laughter. "You said it really out of the blue."

"All right," said Sirius, unconcerned. A pause, then, "OK. Secret for secret."

There was only one reason Sirius could be asking, right? Remus felt his heart begin to beat faster. Godric, why did Sirius have to be so nosy?

"We're meant to be quietly waiting," scolded Remus.

"We have, like, five minutes," said Sirius, checking his watch. "C'mon."

"All right," said Remus, pushing the hair out of his eyes nervously. His brain was going into overdrive; he had to think fast. He should've been expecting this, expecting it ever since Sirius glared at him suspiciously that other night. "I slept in bed with my parents til I was five, stopped, then slept in bed with them til I was eleven."

"Oh," said Sirius. Clearly that had not been what he was expecting. "Actually, I was kinda thinking that I could ask you for a secret—"

"Hey," interrupted Remus, smiling on the outside even though panic was climbing inside his chest. "Secret for secret, remember?"

Sirius huffed, leaning on the inside of the alcove but careful not to touch the tapestry, lest it open and they be exposed to the corridor; that would ruin the whole prank. Sirius kneeled down so he was eye-level with Remus.

"Wait, shh," said Remus. "I think I hear someone coming."

They all waited in tense silence as they heard footsteps and voices. Even Ruby stiffened up in Remus's arms. Eventually, they faded away.

"OK, your turn," said Remus.

"Fine. I made Regulus promise to not be in Slytherin this summer holidays," he said bitterly. "I made him swear to Merlin that he'd get into buggering Hufflepuff before that slimy snake pit of a house."

Remus knew his own eyes looked pained. "Sirius — oh, sorry Ruby," he said, for he had accidentally been holding onto her too tightly. Ruby, a rabbit who was usually one to complain, said nothing once more.

"It's fine," he said, adopting that false casualness once more. He broke eye contact. "Just a secret. Don't tell James."

"Of course not," gulped Remus.

"We should do it again," said Sirius quickly, and Remus's panic rose again. "So—"

"Me first," said Remus, just as quickly. "I hated you when at the start of last year. Your turn." He smiled.

Sirius's eyes narrowed. He knew what Remus was doing, which was fine, because Remus knew what Sirius was doing. They had reached a standstill. "Does that count?" snapped Sirius. "I kinda already knew that."

"It does," confirmed Remus.

"Fine. I hated you too," said Sirius huffily.

"Glad we moved past that," said Remus, his smile genuine now.

Sirius snorted, looking away. "Yeah, I guess."

Clearly this moment was getting too sappy for Sirius. "Hey, what time is it?" asked Remus.

"Oh, bugger, it's six thirty. Let's go," said Sirius, and he pulled out James's Invisibility Cloak from his pocket. Remus made sure the Cloak was wrapped completely around he, Sirius and Ruby before they lifted the tapestry hiding them as little as they possible could, then slid out quietly.

Their feet landed on the cobblestone of the corridor floor. Ruby was hugged to Remus's chest. Together they walked silently and invisibly down the corridor, towards where James and Peter were sitting, pretending to study. When they passed them, Sirius gave James a pat on the head, their signal to let them know they were ready. James smiled a bit.

James and Peter had pretty boring roles, if Remus was honest. All they did was sit outside the corridor leading to the kitchens, while pretending to study. They would deter anyone that came near, claiming that they should make a detour due to exploding ovens or crying house-elves. All this would happen while Remus and Sirius performed the actual prank.

James had heart-wrenchingly sacrificed the fun bit to Remus, whom he said planned everything, so it was only right for Remus to do it. Sirius also got the exciting half of the task, because James said he 'would protest if he weren't partnered with Remus.' (In fact, Remus was inclined to disagree, to say that Sirius felt that way about James, but the discussion time they had was short, so Remus said nothing.) And well, Sirius had come up with the idea of using Ruby after all.

"Are you sure about this?" whispered Remus to Ruby in his arms. Sirius looked at them curiously.

"Yep!" said Ruby, but her voice was wavering.

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to, you know," murmured Remus, smiling. "The worst that would happen is that James would be bored."

"I want to," she said determinedly, steeling her voice. "I've been so bowed."

"All right," said Remus confidently. "I believe in you."

He, Sirius, and Ruby passed the colourful portraits lining the stone walls until they reached the large one that depicted the bowl of fruit. Sirius's hand left the cover of the Invisibility Cloak to tickle the pear, then after it turned into a door handle, open the door.

As they tiptoed into the kitchens secretively, Remus noticed several house-elves that were preparing dinner or delivering plates hurriedly to the long tables. They swivelled around as the door opened and made confused sounds.

"Whoa, look at that," whispered Sirius. The tables were absolutely stockpiled with food, just like the Great Hall usually looked at dinnertime. Roast beefs, chopped carrots, mashed potatoes, fried eggs, and a whole variety of other foods glistened before them, freshly prepared.

"Is we expecting guests, Missy?" asked one male house-elf, peering curiously at the open door. Remus recognised him as Floggy.

"Not so soon before dinner," said a female house-elf, who narrowed her enormous eyes. Her eyes seemed to hover over where Remus stood, and he was scared for a second that house-elves could see through Invisibility Cloaks. But then her eyes flickered past, and she clapped her tiny little hands together.

"Right, everybody is done placing the plates down? We is only having three minutes til dinner time," said Missy.

"No, there is still some roast chicken Pippy and Roody is not finished with yet," squeaked one of the house-elves.

Missy's eyes widened, making her huge eyes even huger. "Pippy, and Roody, make haste! Good goblins, we house-elves is getting slower and slower every day! Is we wanting our masters to dismiss us for being too slow?"

"No, no, we is not," said two house-elves in unison, probably Pippy and Roody, who scuttled by and delivered a dozen plates of roast chicken with a click of their long fingers. After this, the house-elves tottered off to the benches, probably to clean.

"We have to do it," whispered Sirius.

"Now?" asked Remus, worried.

"Now."

"OK. Momentus," he said, his wand pointed at the rabbit. The Speeding Up charm. "Be careful."

"Give them hell, Ruby," said Sirius devilishly.

Remus glanced at Sirius curiously. He didn't know why, but Sirius addressing Ruby personally made Remus quite pleased.

Ruby leapt from Remus's arms out of the cover of the Cloak, and quite possibly caused the most chaos he had ever seen. It took a few moments for the house-elves to realise that Ruby was there, but really, how could they miss the blur of white flying across the room faster than a broomstick? Remus watched Ruby leap gleefully at top speed from counter to counter, knocking away frying pans and plates. The clangs and crashes echoed throughout the kitchen.

"What is that?" yelled one house-elf.

"Filthy animal!" screeched another. "We must be getting it!"

And so, the group of house-elves screamed a war cry as they attempted to catch Ruby, who was kicking away plates and cutlery onto the floor. The elves shot out magic jets of light that made Remus flinch to try and slow down the rabbit.

But Ruby's speeded up little feet were jumping and knocking away as many kitchen utensils and tools as she could. Several of the house-elves, almost half, were hurriedly trying to pick up all the dropped frying pans and cutlery and put them back where they belonged.

"Keep the rabbit away from the food!" squeaked Missy furiously.

Ruby soared from the countertop and darted away out the door, towards even more kitchens, probably. All the house-elves (they had finished putting everything back where it belonged) began to follow Ruby back.

"OK, quick, let's hurry," said Remus.

Together, he and Sirius worked as a team to apply the spells to as many food items as they could. Remus went first, waving his wand and casting, "Tardify," over a bunch of plates, then moving on to the next bunch. Sirius then would cast, "Avifors," over the plates of food Remus had just charmed. They did this for several until Remus was pretty confident they had charmed all the food that was prepared on the plates. Hopefully, Remus's repeated thoughts of "Twenty minutes, twenty minutes," would pay off, and the transformation would occur at the optimal time.

"We're done," hissed Sirius.

"We have to go get Ruby now," said Remus hurriedly, and together they walked as fast as they could under the Cloak to the other kitchens to try and find Ruby.

They walked into more high-ceilinged kitchens with several uniform sinks and ovens lining the walls. The floor was cluttered with cutting boards and wooden spoons that several house-elves were fumbling to pick up and place back on the countertops.

Remus and Sirius silently tiptoed past them, careful not to alert them to their presence.

They walked through several different corridors of kitchens until finally—

"Look, there," hissed Sirius. They had reached yet another tiny kitchen corridor, where all the cutlery and things had been put back in place. Clearly the house-elves had cleaned this one up, or Ruby hadn't gotten to her destruction yet.

Ruby was cornered. She had nowhere to dart, because she was surrounded by a dozen murderous-looking house-elves, led by Missy. "Ruby," Remus wanted to scream.

"Dirty animals is not allowed in our kitchen!" she squealed. "Goodbye, rodent."

Besides Remus, Sirius slammed down a row of cutlery. Remus felt the weight of Sirius's hand stretching in the opposite direction, felt it tug on the Cloak and threatened to slip it off. The steel knives and forks toppled to the floor. Some of them screamed, startled at the sudden noise.

Floggy moaned. "What is happening?"

"More cleaning up!" complained another.

"Who is being there?" yelled out Missy in her squeaky voice. "Who is it?"

Sirius answered by throwing a frying pan overhead. It clanged loudly against another row of wooden spoons, cups, and spatulas, which rained down upon the kitchen floor. One wooden spoon hit Remus on the head.

The house-elves were panicking. They looked to Missy, confused about whether to magically punish Ruby, or to fight the invisible force, or to clean up the mess.

"It must be Peeves!" Missy shrieked. "Peeves, we is going to tell on you!"

It was chaos. Sirius was the second coming of Ruby, knocking down as many things as he could, shoving past house-elves, who yelped at the invisible force pushing them out of the way. Remus struggled to keep up, almost getting his feet tangled in the cloth of the Cloak. The house-elves ducked out of the way of the flying kitchen appliances, yelling abuse at Peeves, Ruby forgotten.

"I got him, I got him!" gasped Floggy, who had just grabbed onto Remus's leg through the Cloak.

In a move that Remus regretted, he kicked the house-elf off, and finally he and Sirius reached Ruby, who looked utterly bewildered.

Reach out, the voice in his head said. "I'm doing that," Remus retorted to the voice, scooping up Ruby's tiny body, and tucking her underneath the cover of the Cloak.

"I'm so sorry, Ruby," Remus said. He didn't even bother trying to lower his voice because the pandemonium in the kitchen was so loud.

"That. Was. So. Fun!" Ruby practically shouted.

One of the house-elves shouted that Peeves had went that way (he hadn't), and the dozen house-elves flooded out of this particular kitchen.

Remus sighed in relief. "Let's go, let's go," he told Sirius and together they darted out of the kitchen.

It felt like an eternity before they were tumbling out from the portrait of the pear — they passed the plates of food once more, which was still food — and down the corridor. They whipped off the Invisibility Cloak as they stumbled towards James and Peter, who jumped up excitedly.

"Oh, good, you're here!" said James, taking back his Cloak.

"Marlene McKinnon came over," Peter enthusiastically recounted, "and asked us what we were doing, and we told her that the portraits came alive and started attacking everyone and—"

"Great," cut in Sirius. "Oh, Godric, it's almost seven. Let's go see if our hard work paid off."

The Marauders stumbled up the staircase to reach the Great Hall, when they heard the sound of someone's footsteps.

"Oh, bugger, get that Cloak around us before someone sees us," said Sirius, and they had barely been cloaked before somebody slammed into them. Thankfully, they were invisible.

It was Professor Jewel. His head was whipping back and forth, trying to find the source and when Remus saw his eyes, they were utterly spooked. His shoulders were as tense as a rock, but his hands were shaking.

"Wh-who's there?" he whispered.

Nobody answered.

After a solid ten seconds of silently standing, the Marauders sighed in relief when Professor Jewel finally scurried off.

"That was weird," muttered James as they waltzed their way to a place off the Great Hall where they could still see the happenings inside. All of Hogwarts's population sat in their seats, waiting patiently for dinner to arrive.

"Super twitchy," agreed Peter.

"Remember when I bumped into you when you were in the Cloak?" Remus said to James, feeling the grin spread across his lips.

"Yeah, and you hit me so hard I ended up in the Hospital wing," said James cheerfully. "I remember! That was—"

"Shh, dinnertime's starting in three … two … one …" said Sirius, checking his watch.

The dinner materialised in plates and pots and bowls of delicious, fresh food on the five tables in the Great Hall. The chatter in the Great Hall rose, excited at the dinner. Remus held his breath.

And then it begun.

It didn't happen all at once. At first, it was only at the end of the Hufflepuff table where someone yelled in shock. Not everyone knew what was happening, but suddenly everyone at the Hufflepuff was the victim. Remus saw Davey Gudgeon, as he was going to eat a drumstick, fall off his chair because it suddenly transfigured into a pure white dove in his hands.

He let go of it, and the dove joined the dozens and dozens of birds soaring above the Hufflepuff table. Everyone's pudding, their roast duck, their potatoes — they burst into explosions of white feathers and beaks that squawked and added to the cacophony of laughter in the Great Hall. Even the bowls and plates and cutlery were morphing into the little white birds, flapping and causing chaos at the Hufflepuff table.

Certainly, the Slytherins were enjoying this the most. Remus saw Regulus Black and Severus snickering together — but then, as they tried to get a spoonful of their soup as they watched, as if at the movies, their spoons grew wings, and a beak, and talons that slashed through the air. Yells of shock erupted all along the Great Hall as people's foods transformed into doves.

Even the teachers table fell victim to the mass transfiguration. He watched Professor Jewel, who recently had tottered up to the table, jump back as his brioche began to fly. He watched Professor McGonagall's pie squawk and attempt to peck at her face. Even Professor Dumbledore reacted, lamenting his sweets sadly after they began to sprout feathers.

It was utter chaos.

It was the most amazing thing they'd ever done.

That night in the Common Room, the four Marauders had to pretend, like everyone else, to be super annoyed with whatever idiots decided to mess with the dinner prepared by the house-elves. But, when they returned to the dorm room their grins were the widest they had ever been in a long while, even if their stomachs were super empty.

"You gotta admit," said Sirius to Remus lazily, "this time, that was wicked."

Remus almost fought the smile. Almost.

A/N: I'm really sorry for not updating in so long. School is a drag. Here's a super long chapter that was previously two separate chapters, but I realised it flowed better if they were in one. Thank you to all my readers! :)