Ean reached out and picked up the holocron. He intended for the gesture to be slow, so he could study and contemplate the instrument of his death, but instead, he did it abruptly, as if he yearned for that crystalline cube.
It fit neatly in his hand. In fact, it seemed made especially for him to pick up, which was, of course, an inversion. He's the one who was made to pick it up.
"This… you… will kill me." He stated.
"In a sense, yes." The Ardos Camarr hologram replied.
Ean stared at the hologram. An odd gesture, for sure. The hologram was just a projection of the holocron and wasn't really staring back at him. Ean should rather look into the cube, but it felt proper to address that image instead of the cube in his hands.
"But do you want to?"
Ardos Camarr lowered his gaze.
"I never wanted this, Ean. Know that I consider you a living being and as deserving of life as any organic. In fact, more than most organics, since you were made quite literally in my image. But I know the details of your design, and you just can't avoid it."
"But you said I could resist it, for a time."
"For a time, yes."
"And in this time, could I find the Corsair and have her reprogram my mind?"
The image of Ardos opened his mouth to reply but stopped before saying anything, eyebrows going up and a tiny smile in his lips, as if he himself suddenly had a great idea.
"That might work, Ean. It would be a…"
Explosions coming from the main hall had both Ean and Ardos turning towards the metal door. Not any explosions, too, but blaster shots. Many, many blaster shots.
Ean frowned.
"What's going on?" He was almost glad to have something to take his mind off his imminent death by assimilation.
The image of Ardos Camarr pointed towards the door as if inviting Ean to check it out. Like he needed permission to.
Stepping over cables and some equipment lying about, Ean took cover behind the door and peeked into the hallway.
Everyone was there, short of Khran. Londo and Zeryn were shooting at random all over the room, while the crazy jedi woman waved her lightsaber around her as if she actually fought someone. Or rather, many someones.
"Londo! Zeryn!" Ean screamed.
"They can't hear you, Ean." The hologram said.
Ean turned at the image with an expression that demanded an explanation.
"This temple is imprinted with the Force. It creates hallucinations on anyone who enters that tries to trick them into killing themselves. You felt nothing as you came in because, well, your mind is digital. Jedi mind tricks would not work on you."
"Who would have devised such a cruelty? And using the Force?"
Ardos raised his eyebrows and shrugged in an apologetic way.
"It was supposed to test padawans into overcoming fear and learning about the illusion of life. It wasn't meant to actually serve as a trap for anyone else. That's why this temple was so remote. Look, Narla is about to overcome the illusions."
Ardos pointed at the crazy jedi woman. So… Narla was her name. Indeed, she now stood still, eyes closed, concentrating, and pretty soon, she opened them and started looking around.
Londo and Zeryn stopped shooting at random and started shooting at each other. Ean gasped and clutched at the door at the first shot from Londo, but Zeryn evaded it and started shooting back.
"Now, your friends, on the other hand, don't seem to have too much time left."
As if them shooting each other wasn't enough, Narla started walking towards them, whirling her lightsaber in her hand, with that murderous face Ean would rather forget. There was no doubt she would kill them, if they didn't kill each other first.
What could he do? He had no way to face her. True enough he had a lightsaber in his hand, but having one and knowing how to use it properly were two different things, and the woman surely knew how to use hers. Moreover, she had the Force on her side, and Ean had… what? Microchips and wiring. In a direct confrontation, he would be no match.
Narla raised her hands and both Londo and Zeryn stopped shooting. Instead, they dropped their weapons and took their hands to their necks, as if they were chocking. Exactly like they were chocking. In fact, they were. Somehow, the woman was chocking them with the force.
All the while, she smiled.
Ean grated his teeth. He had to do something. Anything. He had to stop her. But how? She was a trained jedi, an excellent swordfighter, while he was…
The holocron glowed in his hands. The holocron of Ardos Camarr, which he was made to use.
He was the vessel for an old jedi master. Ardos Camarr, if he had a body, could be a match for her. He would know how to use this lightsaber. Far better than Ean and maybe even better than the woman. If he merged… and died… he could save Londo and Zeryn, who now crashed into the floor, breathless and nearly unconscious.
He would die. He would die. How could he want this? And yet… yet… he would save them.
Ean turned at the image of Ardos Camarr. His voice carried all bitterness he could muster.
"Damn you. Damn you!"
He did it. He couldn't explain how, but he did it. The movements came naturally as soon as he decided to do it. He ripped his shirt as his chest opened from within, revealing a crystalline empty chamber here his heart should be. The holocron fit neatly in there, mechanical clasps drew it into his chest, and as the chamber closed, his skin reformed in his chest as if it had never opened.
Just like that, Ean Van Tassel the boy who woke up in Nar Shaddaa with a severe case of amnesia, the arkanian who so desperately sought to find his identity, who doubted everything while also blindly believing he would find his answers, the youth who saw in Londo and Zeryn the closest thing to friends he ever knew, was gone.