Disclaimer- I do not own Fruits Basket. That belongs to the Goddess Takaya. Also I will use random quotes from the manga.

Author's Note- Well, I tried, and I think this chapter is very good, but more description than action. The action comes next chapter! Also, thank you for the reviews; I got nearly twice what I usually get! They're very encouraging, especially the ones that say what they liked exactly about the chapter, thank you! And I'm sure that many of you know, that Shigure, begin the intuitive dog he is, has figured out to some degree what is going on between Yuki and Kyo, and of course told his two best friends.

聞こえない叫び聞こえない叫び聞こえない叫び

Ashes-Chapter Twenty Six-Begin

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"…do you?"

"Huh?"

Shigure's lips are in a thin line as he speaks, one hand on his waist and the other on my doorknob. A transient breeze coming from my window lifts the corners of the papers on my desk. I shiver. It's the last of the cold fronts, but the ones at the end are always the strongest. Mid-afternoon and already there was trouble. But at the sound of Kyo's name…there was no hate or anger. Just a pain like a stabbing knife, serrated on the edges….

"He was saying some very peculiar things. You didn't beat him senseless, did you?"

"What do you mean? What's wrong with h- that stupid cat?" I say coldly, as cold as my blood.

"Hmm. Sorry, I just thought you might know what's going on. It's just he was acting very odd, and now he's ran off somewhere…it's very strange." He taps the bridge of his nose.

"What," I narrow my eyes, "What's so strange about it?"

Shigure glances at me furtively.

"Oh, nothing, I just thought he was acting unusual, but no, it's nothing to be worried abou-"

"What?" I ask snappily, getting agitated, and worried.

"Nothing, Yuki-kun, nothing."

"Shigure, you can't just come up here and start making demands and then leave it!" My voice raises, and I can't be acting like this in front of him, I can't, but my sense has gone out the window and I can't care right now. I stand and stride toward him, towering over him. He holds up his hands and grins nervously.

"Okay, okay! I just thought that he might have been walking in the direction of the main house, but I was probably just imagining-"

"What?" I ask in disbelief. Shigure answers me again, but I don't hear him. My heart pounds in my chest, as panic floods me. No…NO! That idiot! What the hell was he doing?

My head snaps upwards to Shigure and I eye him suspiciously. It's almost like he knows too much, but…it didn't matter right now. I shove past him and begin to race down the stairs.

"Yuki-kun…?" Shigure asks as I run past Honda-san, who looks bewildered.

"I'll bring that idiot back!" I yell as I slam the door.

The icy winds sweeps through my thin clothes and chills me, tries to pull me back.

No.

I reach the outside steps and hurtle down them four at a time, taking a breath at the bottom, and I'm sprinting, through the trees and dead leaves that crackle under my feet, the last of them. The last of the leaves. The last of the cold wind, the ending winters chill.

The main house? North, then. He's headed north. I run, and the cold from the air and the heat from my body mix and make me feel feverish.

Shigure…he knows…it's not possible, but…it's all too suspicious, he knows too much, and Akito….

I see him. An orange cotton shirt and khaki pants, that's all he has. He didn't even bring anything with him.

I am almost upon him when I call out his name. He gives a great start and nearly trips, and without even looking back to make sure it was me, he promptly begins to sprint away from me.

He's fast, but, of course, I'm faster.

With a great heave I fling my arms around his waist and throw all my weight against him, and we both go flying and land with a knocking thud into the solid ground, skidding slightly. The feel of him pressed against me throws me into a panic. He can't go, I won't let him…! He moves from under me but I don't get off. We are both panting for breath, but what is most disturbing is that we are breathing at the exact same time. The autumn leaves rustle below us. I can feel them crumble beneath my hands.

"Get off of me," He says, but his voice is so small. He won't even look me in the face.

"Kyo,"

"Get off." He repeats, but his voice is still weak.

"Kyo," I say, trying to get eye contact, "look at me. Look at me, you stupid cat!" I grasp his wrist and I tug it towards me, but he yanks it back and hides his face in his hands.

"I'm not going to let you go." I say vehemently. No games. We both know where he was going.

"I wasn't going anywhere," a touch of his old defiance resurfaces.

"Shut up," I say sharply, "I'm not going to-"

"…Why not?"

It's enough to shake me, and I let go of him and crawl backwards. Because…I….

Because I love you.

"Because I wont. I wont let you do this."

"I…deserve it," He pleads, still averting his eyes.

"No, you don't. You're being your stupid self again, you stupid cat."

"Think whatever you want, but if your not angry than this is even more screwed up than I thought," He snarls, suddenly turning livid.

"It didn't matter, because you knew that I could have fought you off!

"What the hell are you saying?! Are you saying you let me? That I didn't do anything wrong?"

"But…you…you knew. You knew I could have…prevented it, so…that's why. You weren't yourself, anyway." I was thoroughly and violently convinced of this at first, but now, he was voicing the doubts buried deep in the arroyos of my mind.

"You don't get it, do you, you idiot!? It wouldn't have mattered, I would have still done that, I know I would have! Even if you were weak, I would have still-" His voice hitches and comes out in a rasp, "What-what if I – oh god, what if I had…what if I came home and I saw Tohru-" He covers his eyes with his hand again, swallowing hard, breathing through bared teeth.

"You wouldn't have done anything to Honda-san," I say, the thought bouncing off my mind. It was incredible, that Kyo thinks he would actually-

"It doesn't matter who I did it with, or how strong, the point is that I still…I still forced you, Yuki. Oh god, I'm so…dirty. And ashamed. I should go in that cage and never look back!"

"I said, I don't care!"

"But I do!" he screams, "and I don't understand why you don't…you should be angry, and you have to be angry! I'm going, and I don't care if you don't believe me. You can't stop me, either." He seems to frown more and gain strength as he stares at my incredulous anger.

"No…!" I hiss, my hands twisting into claws, and my body tensing as though preparing to pounce on him. He turns his face away.

"It's…it's not normal, just to forgive-"

I muster my shaking strength and slap him with all my might.

"Stop rambling!" I growl, "Like a coward! You can go ahead and assume you would do all these things, but I know better! I know you better than you know yourself, and that's not even the worst of it!" He picks himself erratically off the floor, wincing and holding his left eye.

"Kyo, oh, Kyo, you always…you don't understand, do you?" I close my eyes, feeling as though all the life was being sucked out of me. "I wasn't avoiding you because I was angry. No…if I was angry, I would have found you, and probably have beat you senseless, but…it was okay!" I look him in the eyes, and the fire that has suddenly erupted in my stomach seems to be reflected in his blazing eyes.

"I accepted it, I knew, and…I understood. Don't you think I know what Akito puts people through? I know what it's like to be contained in the Sohma, of all people I know. My…my mother sold me to Akito, and I was just a tool for years, but…it's okay now. I've forgiven her. And I've forgiven you, I forgave you even before you did anything."

Kyo looks up, tentative and guarded, almost like he won't believe it.

"If Honda-san taught any of us anything," I glare, "it's forgiving and accepting people. That is the one thing that reinforces her life, because you don't see her running away from this family screaming, or chasing down the person who caused her mothers death."

He grows speechless for a minute, but at the same time…he knows it's true. Honda-san had forgiven. And she had accepted. Was it so hard for everyone else to do the same?

"That might be stupid to some people, but it's not stupid to me." I finally say, hoping to make him understand.

"But…no one's been able to say that." He says quietly. He breathes slowly, and it wobbles out of his lungs. "No one's been able to say…that they understood." He frowns and blinks. A lump grows in my throat.

"We're both already so tainted, it doesn't matter. We can dirty each other up…make it as bad as possible because it cant get any worse than it already is!" I know I'm lying. It could get a lot worse, but still! We have each other, right?

His fiery eyes meet me at once, and I feel dizzy just looking at him. I turn my back, and fold my arms in weakness.

"You know…there was a part of me that wanted to be angry, that was angry, but…"

I feel tentative fingers on my upper arm. "I'm sorry," He says slowly, and I hear him take a step closer and his warmth filters through my clothes. "I'm sorry," He repeats, and suddenly my back is encased in warmness. I lean, wordless, into him, and the two of us stand there for a long time, saying nothing.

I lowered my eyelids as a strange pain in my stomach increased and decreased. It was a vibrating, silent hum that rooted my body through my feet. A surreal feeling, a feeling of swaying when you don't move at all. I hear him open his mouth.

"I hate you, you know. I hate you more than anyone. But, not more than I hate myself."

"I know," I say. And I believe it.

"What do you want?"

I turn my head to give him a strange look, but he looks back at me as if he wants to make me happy.

"I don't know."

I wonder if I could say it. I wonder if he could accept it.

"There must be something."

"There is."

I

Love

You.

"What then?"

"Smile."

His eyes seem to mirror mine for a minute. For a moment, I think he will say that that's not what I meant to say. Maybe he knows. The painful feeling increases.

"Yuki."

I turn my head again, and with the way he's looking at me, my pain feels as though it will cause me to explode. And he's closer.

Please stay, let me be with you… fight my obsession, even if it's only for a short while.

His warm breath is on my face and my lips part and my mouth is warm and his mouth is warm. His lips are soft. And the tendrils of my obsession abate temporarily, but they'll be back. But for now, I can live with this, whatever it is. This.

"Shigure-san…they've been gone quite a while, don't you think? Maybe I should see…?" I can't help but think that something is terribly wrong. I know that things have change, or something has changed, but…I can't figure out what it is.

"Yes, Tohru-kun. You wouldn't want their dinner to get cold…" Shigure-san smiles at me, but I don't think it's his usual smile. It seems a little sad. I-I'm a little overwhelmed. Everyone around me is having problems; I don't know whom to go to first!

'Okay,' I set my face, 'Okay. One thing at a time, no matter what.'

I set my jaw, and think of my mother. Then I walk out the door and close it softly behind me. If there is a way to help somehow, I will find it.

えない叫び聞こえない叫び聞こえない叫び聞こ

Ashes-Chapter Twenty Six-End

聞こえない叫び聞こえない叫び聞こえない叫び