Perfectly Prejudiced Chapter Five: Pain
'The North Bridge accident was a failure of a cast-iron bridge at the Twin Companies, two adjacent branches of the North Company Lines near Pyke in the Iron Islands on 26 September 2006. As the first ever individual was passing over the bridge from the first building to the opposite, the structure failed suddenly, causing the derailment of the majority of the bridge. The accident ended with one causality, and it was a warning of the fundamental weakness of many such new projects that would've been used to connect two buildings together. Investigations were due, and when examined by a team of professional architectures, one of the cast iron girders of the bridge was found to have fractured, unusually, near to one of the abutments rather than at the centre of the beam, which marked as an almost fatal error by the architecture team.'
A memory made an appearance in the back of Jeyne's mind after she finished reading, one from the good old days when she and her soulmate were the closest beings to each other.
Theon always had those moods that laced the air around him with sorrow and void, those moods when he would isolate himself from the world, and at the time, Jeyne had developed a hero complex whenever it came to him, trying her hardest, using any method she knew of to lift his spirits, and sometimes only her presence seemed to be enough, other times, he would open up to her about his catastrophic childhood that no one envied, or even knew of, not any of the Stark children at least.
"Did you ever wonder, Jey," he once asked, his back against their pine tree and his eyes getting paler and paler with each word. "Why a family with five children adopted a stranger like me all of a sudden?"
Her thirteen year old self just shook her head.
"Guilt." Was his explanation. "My father fell off a bridge by accident and died, but sometimes they look at me like they're the ones who pushed him."
A thunderous slam made Jeyne jump, her whole body feeling heavy by the scare that sound just gave her, she let the documents fall from her hands, her focus only on her soulmate that wasn't present in the room anymore.
Jeyne rearranged everything in place as fast as she could, hoping Lord Stark didn't suspect anything the next morning with the lousy job she did at it, exiting the main office as fast as possible with her heart thumping against her ribcage.
For a man who just found out that his adoptive father was responsible for the death of his biological one, Theon was nothing short of malicious, the heavy footsteps that punished the floor under them, the silence that can almost slice the air, the hands buried so deep into the pockets of his jacket and the posture that almost resembled a fighting stance, were all clues, her radar however, was unmerciful as to show her how devastated he was.
"Theon!" Jeyne called for him but no response graced her way in the middle of that dark hallway. "Theon, wait!"
An eerie ding came from the elevator when Theon pressed the button too hard, the sound echoing around her as a signal to the beginning of a tomb bomb.
"Wait!" Jeyne stopped to catch her breath, her vision becoming hazy. Was I running? She wondered, not recalling how she got there so quickly. "Where are you going? You need to calm down first! Listen, we'll look more into it; there is no way Lord Ned would've let that happen if he knew, so let's not jump into conclusions so fast!"
He lifted his head when the doors slid open and he stepped in, his tone so cold it welded the chill of ice itself when he passed by her. "Can you do one thing?"
"Do what?"
"Mind your own business."
Her lips trembled, watching him lean across the end of the elevator, no longer talking to her like he recognized her, recognized how important he was to her once, how irreplaceable he'll always be and how no one else in the world affected her with mere words like he could.
"You-" she concentrated all the anger and pain he was giving her into one, very expressive glare that made him look at her carefully, and that's what she wanted, because he needed to listen to some things that she wouldn't have another chance to say. "You narcissistic, ignorant, selfish son of a bitch! You are my business!"
A pair of widened angry eyes were the last glimpse she saw of him before the doors were shut close, not even allowing her to know how he reacted to her sudden outburst. Granted, perhaps this really wasn't the time to talk to him like that and go all out, but Jeyne wouldn't have let him use anything as an excuse so he could treat her like his punching bag.
And there was still the fact that Jeyne didn't believe Lord Eddard, the most honorable man who have ever walked the surface of earth, would do such a thing.
She glanced at the stairs and dismissed the idea of using them immediately, the entrance of the building was twenty three floors down so there was no way she could reach it in time, especially with her pathetic stamina, and no, she wouldn't have made it even if she was Brienne of Tarth herself.
One thing Jeyne knew was that she couldn't leave him alone, even if he had asked her to, her conscience wouldn't allow it, her soulmate bond would crush her because of it, and her feelings for him would've only added more weight on her chest if she had let him go without trying everything she had.
Now, Jeyne debated as she entered Sansa's office again, trying to find her things and think about everything in some sort of level-headedness once she was alone. If I was a man who just found out that my whole life is a lie, where would I go?
She grabbed her phone and slumped on the coach, staring at an unfamiliar black background image that she had no memory of being changed until Jeyne realized that it indeed wasn't hers, but Theon's.
Not even questioning how he managed to forget it, given the circumstances, Jeyne began an internal conflict within herself; it was the wellbeing of her soulmate versus his privacy.
Wellbeing won pretty quick and she found herself typing on his keyboard with desperation, trying to recall everything related to her soulmate to figure out the password. If there was one way of finding out where he went, the phone was her only chance.
She started with the very first thing that came to her mind.
Greyjoy
Incorrect Password
Kraken
Incorrect Password
TheonIsTheBest
Incorrect Password
15.12.1993
Incorrect Password
Jey
Incorrect Password (Really?)
Women
Incorrect Password
Boobs
Incorrect Password
Ass
Incorrect Password (No shit)
HotChicks
Incorrect Password
Am I even trying?! Jeyne scolded herself, groaning after the system blocked her for the next thirty seconds. She doubted that any new brilliant ideas would pop out of thin air within that time.
Truth be told, Theon, although he was the center focus of the majority of her life, still remained a mystery to her, simply because no one knew what was on his mind most of the time, besides inappropriate and perverted thoughts, of course.
"Jeyne," Robb answered his phone after the second try with a grumble, "Please tell me that you dialed my number by mistake."
"No," she frowned at that strange greeting. "Why?"
"It's three in the fucking morning, woman!"
"Like you were even asleep," Jeyne scuffed, hearing Junior's screams from the background crystal clearly, "Having trouble in there?"
"Listen, I'm not complaining," his voice dropped like he didn't want a certain someone to hear him."'But being a father isn't all sunshine and rainbows, alright?"
"Noted." Jeyne said sarcastically, "Look, we have a situation here."
"If Theon The Bloody Idiot convinced you to talk to me about that strip club project again, then don't even try, I said I'm out!"
"What strip project?!" she asked angrily, then shook her head to remain focused and duel on that later. "No, Robb, do you happen to know Theon's phone password?"
"It's probably Jeyne," he said automatically, then paused when he realized what he was giving away, "Jeyne!"
"What?"
"You were raised better than this."
"It's not like that!"
"Look, whatever you find in there will leave you traumatized for life, trust me." He started lecturing like the true Ned Junior he was, "Don't be a masochist."
"Something happened, something extremely terrible, and he..." Jeyne allowed herself to say a chunk of the truth. "I'm worried that he'll do something to himself, Robb, I've never seen him this angry before."
"I just fed you, what the hell do you still want?!" Robb snapped at his son, and after a bit of rustling, he talked to her again. "What do you mean? That bastard never gets angry."
"I thought so too, but-" she gulped, "He took off and he had this look on his face, like he was about to go and murder someone."
"I see." Robb couldn't hide the surprise in his voice. "I've known Theon most of my life and saw him lose control only once, and to be honest, it wasn't a pretty sight."
"When?"
"What do you mean, when? It was when he confessed to you." He said matter-of-factly, making Jeyne shiver at the memory. "He's usually pretty calm and keeps things in, but, gods, he surprised the fuck out of me that day."
'Because I'm your fucking soulmate, damn it!' the loud confession of agony and anger rang in her ears again, and the sight of him breaking everything in his way even after three men tried to hold him down flashed in front of her eyes like a nightmare.
She did not want to see that again.
"I got it." Robb was saying, "Theon hates the clubs of Winterfell so I don't think he's out drinking or picking fights. There is, however, that condo we both bought last year, he might be there blowing off steam."
"Y-You think?"
"Theon only gets drunk when he's in a good mood and wants to feel bad, not the opposite way around. Don't worry." He assured her. "And despite common beliefs, he's really not into violence. I'm not certain that he's at the condo though, but it's worth giving it a shot."
"Thank gods." her shaking hand went to the front of her chest. "Where is it? I'll head off right now."
"It's too late right now; I won't let you go alone." Robb said very sternly. "Don't do anything stupid, I'll send Wylis with a carriage and tell him the address."
"Alright." Jeyne sat down, still trying to remain calm and collected. "Thanks Robb, I'm sorry but I just didn't know who else to call."
"That man is still my brother y'know, by blood or not." She could see the thin smile on his face through the speakers, similar to his father's. "And Jeyne?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't want to burst your bubble or anything." He said carefully, "But I've never seen you two having a single conversation. Are you sure you can handle it?"
She stared at the wall under the flickering lights, imagining those sad pale eyes and that blank expression when he told her to mind her own business, and Jeyne ran a hand down her face. "Probably not."
She did not have the time to even feel sorry for Wylis as he drove them to a far neighborhood of Winterfell at such an hour and under that punishingly cold weather, instead, by each passing second, fear, anxiety, and anticipation took over her being, slowly creeping in and pulling her into an endless cycle of unpleasant thoughts that she really didn't need to go over.
The phone that was clutched in her hand only felt heavier and heavier, as if that small device was begging her to go against her manners and morals, to open it and further know how to solve that puzzle that was her soulmate.
Jeyne knew very well that if the password wasn't the nickname he gave her, then there was no way that it would've been her actual name, given the fact that he never once in his life called her with it.
But her thumb pressed the button anyway, her fingertips crossing over and tapping those five letters just for the hell of it, just so she could know her own place and not expect to be too important for the man who broke her repeatedly every time she allowed herself to do that.
Jeyne
Correct Password
"Motherfucker." She whispered almost angrily when the screen switched to the home page, revealing a background picture that made that poor organ between her ribs start.
Forehead against forehead, shy smiles and eyes cast down through long lashes, two figures appeared before her in such beautiful quality that Jeyne didn't recognize it at first, until she saw the dress the woman was wearing.
She didn't know how Theon got his hands on the wedding picture from their photoshoot, but Jeyne was awed by their beauty, never imagining that she and her soulmate ever looked so majestic next to each other like the picture currently showed her. Conflicted about the fact that he had cropped himself out, Jeyne wondered why he let her own figure dominate most of the background with only a quarter of his face showing, as if he wanted to look only at the bride whenever he opened his phone, and not anyone else.
Jeyne was at a crossroad as to where to go next, dive in more, or just close the damn thing with one good memory rather than seeing the traumatizing contents that Robb warned her about before.
Curiosity, like always, got the best of her and Jeyne clicked at the most non private feature she could find, which was his Contact List.
Fairly enough, almost ninety percent of the names she read were of women, come real names or aliases, which all suspiciously sounded very, very indecent. She didn't know if it was mere jealousy or bias, but Jeyne could literally feel how unworthy they were to him, especially by how most of them were named 'Pink Hair', 'Large Boobs', 'Ginger Milf', 'Long Neck', 'Large Boobs 2' and so on.
She tried her hardest to forget all the names that involved rather specific parts of the female anatomy that weren't appropriate to name women with, but some of them made her sigh loudly in disappointment at her soulmate's choice of words, and not to mention the painful fact that he had seen so many women naked.
One single contact stuck out like a sore thumb, however, which instantly made her nostrils flare in anger upon setting eyes on it. If she managed to remain calm all the way to that point, then that name caused all of the restraint to fly out of the window.
Sexiest Woman Alive it was titled, and Jeyne's heart squeezed in her chest, feeling jealous, betrayed, and furious all at the same time; all the other names were actual facts, none of them had a compliment, let alone as flattering and powerful as that one.
Just who the hell is she? She pressed the contact for further information with clinched teeth and a powerful thirst for blood, well, that was until her jaw hanged when Jeyne recognized that the number was actually her own.
"Mother. Fucker." She cursed again, her cheeks aflame and nerves fluttering all over the place.
Feeling braver, she went through the Gallery to check out the cover of each of the photo albums he had, promising herself not to actually open any of them and respect whatever privacy he still had, but when the very first album revealed the back of a woman with curly brown hair with a title S.W.A. Jeyne wasn't the one to blame when she opened it, the count revealing exactly 1123 pictures inside that folder.
She gasped, ogling the screen that displayed a shitload of her pictures, possibly even more than Jeyne knew she ever took her entire life.
Every picture she posted into the internet over the years, every picture reporters took of her, every picture she was forced to pose for in formal events, every picture her friends had tagged her in, and worst of all, what completely blew her mind away was that more than half of them were captured without her knowledge, probably by him, some were of her actual face, yet a striking amount was solely of her backside.
Specifically focused on her ass.
"Motherfucker!"
Stepping out of the elevator and making her way to the condo with the number Wylis told her to head to, Jeyne was a mess of ugly emotions, flinching at the horrifying sounds before even stepping close to the door.
Glasses shattered, objects were thrown across the house and made impact with the walls, crashing and deforming, and Jeyne heard it all, feeling the pain that was coursing through her soulmate with every single thing he broke inside during that rampage.
The gap in the doorframe notified her that the door wasn't locked, and with courage fueled by the pure desire of helping him, Jeyne pushed slowly and walked in without a sound.
The first thing that her eyes set on was the tiled floor of the kitchen at the end of the short corridor, covered with shreds of glass and painted with a color that sent her senses on an overdrive of fear.
"Theon?!"
With rushed footsteps, she passed through the aftermath and followed the trail of blood, the tiny crimson droplets leading her into a spacious area of what seemed like a living room with dimmed lights and a silence that could kill.
A figure that sat exhausted at the single coach on the corner seemed to be calling for her with an aura of desperation, and Jeyne obliged, enable to ignore the dots painted on the fabric of his clothes that seemed to be coming from his hand.
"What did you do?!" she almost screamed from the pain that touched her skin and flesh, kneeling on the floor and taking his wrist into her hand, the sight of a large cut on his palm feeling like a dagger pierced into her eyeball. "Oh my gods!"
"You came..."
She lifted her head, staring at two, very wide, unbelieving eyes. "Of course I fucking came, look at you!"
He covered his face with his good hand, sighing as if she was another one of his problems. "Why would you bother with a narcissistic, ignorant, selfish son of a bitch like me?"
"I meant every word, if that's what you're asking." She spat angrily, still not believing that he could hurt himself like that, "And I also meant that you are my business."
He removed his hand, revealing a deep frown that was laced with barely maintained anger under it. "You said that?"
"I don't care if I'm meddling into things that don't concern me, but you need to listen," she gave his arm a tug, wincing at the pain that came with that movement, "Just remember, Lord Ned was the man who raised both of us. We've known him all our lives, and judging by that alone, there is no way that he-"
"You don't fucking get it, Jey." He leaned against the coach, his eyes squeezing shut. "I was one hair away from doing something that I would've regretted my whole life."
"What are you talking about?" she watched him with knitted eyebrows as he stared at the ceiling with so much anger that it could've brought it down with the power of will alone.
"I don't remember much from my childhood because it was all hazy and a fucking blur of memories, especially after my father passed away. What I always recalled though, was how protective my mother was of me and my sister, she always said that there was a man after us and she wouldn't allow him to take us, but she fell sick and died soon after. My sister was old enough to escape but I was sucked into the turmoil like a helpless fly and was instantly tossed into foster care. My uncle tried to take custody of me multiple times, but Lord Ned didn't let him.
"Eventually, he adopted me and I've always resented him for it. Yes, I fucking did, I always knew that he was the man that was after us, the man who pushed my own nuncle out of my life. The older I got, the more I connected the dots together with my understanding of things. He perhaps was after the inheritance since Pyke, all its fortunes, and titles are mine by birthright, or he didn't want anyone to know that he was behind my father's death, I just assumed, I never knew.
"I felt like a hostage in that house the whole time, all those years, all those relationships I built, I only felt happy with them when I was off guard, other times, I just hated all of them, even Robb, because his father was the reason my family shattered, right? So I plotted revenge, ignored my love for that family that I unconsciously had and just came up with ways to bring Eddard Stark's empire down. When I read that article, it was my only hope, a flare, a sign pushing me to actually do it for real.
"The document you were reading was my target, only if I exposed his schemes and involvement in that accident, perhaps I will ruin him just like he ruined me. But-" his hands were shaking so bad that a drop of blood flew to her direction. "But I was reading a whole different document in that pile."
"I found out about something that I never had knowledge of, no one told me, no one warned me that the head of the architecture team, the man who killed my father with his own hands, the man who is actually in jail right now since Lord Eddard exposed him, was my very own nuncle, Euron. And sire was trying to keep this from me this whole time, that's why I never even expected it."
She settled on the floor, her knees unable to hold her weight anymore.
"Do you know what that means?" he wasn't talking to her anymore, but to himself, "Now, why would Euron, who ruined the structure of the bridge and made my father be the first man to pass through it on purpose, fight so hard over the custody of me and my sister?"
"Oh... gods."
"He set his eyes on my inheritance the moment I was born, and Lord Ned was the only one who knew." He clutched his face, the pain from his nails digging against his flesh and hurting her too. "My mother was warning me about him, he ruined my life, Lord Ned saved me from him, and what did I do to repay his kindness? Oh yes, I loathed him my whole fucking life. I was almost going to destroy the only man who ever gave a shit about me for a father I never even knew and a psychopath who wants me dead."
"Theon-"
"That family, fucking hell, that family is everything I have, and I wasted sixteen years of my life being an ungrateful scumbag and overlooking what was in front of me the whole time." He started chuckling like a madman. "I wonder what Robb will think of me when he knew that I'm such a sick fuck who does this to the people who care about him." He smiled thinly, staring at her like she was the most unfortunate creature he had ever laid eyes on. "Even you, Jey, I did that to you too when you had no idea that we were soulmates. I'm sorry; the gods have paired you with a fucking monster."
"Can you stop with the bullshit already?" she snapped, her tone venomous. "You hated them? Give me a fucking break. It's all in your head, Theon; you thought of it and tried to force yourself into hating them but it failed, goddamn obviously. You love them to hell and back, anyone with good a sight can see it whenever you interact with each other. Lord Ned was trying to protect you when he hid the truth, but you didn't know that so stop being a bloody Emo girl who insists that she's bad and evil when in reality, she can't hurt a fly!"
He blinked, his mood immediately changing. "You're very rude today, Jey."
"Because I'm sick of your crap, that's why!" she stood up, hoping he didn't see that single tear that escaped her eye at the pain she was going through. "Now, where the hell is your first aid kit? You'll bleed to death, for fuck sake."
He managed a forced smile. "I have no idea."
She groaned her way to the kitchen, cursing how stupid and reckless he was being. Only when Jeyne was away from earshot did she let herself lean on the counter on sob freely, her cheeks wetting with tears like a baby.
Stupid, stupid, asshole. She sniffed, rummaging through the cabins and crying the whole time.
Thanks to all the gods, the box with a red plus sign was located in a matter of minutes. Jeyne laid it on the counter and took the opportunity to wash her face, trying to compose herself before reentering his range.
She grabbed the kit with quivering fingers and went back, the pain hitting her head first when she came close to him again.
"Stay still." She cursed herself when her voice came out raspy and deep, sending a definite note to her soulmate.
Theon didn't comment, but just obeyed and watched her roll his sleeve so intensely that it was affecting her more than the wound itself.
He barely winced when the alcohol soaked cotton made contact with the injured area, but she couldn't handle it like him, but instead pushed her forehead against the coach and bit her lip as hard as she can to not scream.
"It's okay, Jey, I swear." He muttered, "It isn't that deep; I can barely feel it."
A liar, and a complete fucking dumbass. She realized, breathing heavily and bringing out the needle that was staring at her like a torturing tool. This will hurt like a bitch.
And it did, but only worse than Jeyne imagined it would when she started stitching him up.
"You're so good at this." Theon kept talking with ease, trying his hardest not to let her know how bad she was hurting him. "If you touch me like that every time, then I'll consider cutting myself more frequently."
"Shut the fuck up." She said through gritted teeth, holding back a tortured moan and appreciating the fact that with all of the sewing accidents at her workplace, she managed to develop stitching skills and some sort of pain tolerance. "And don't move."
"If I do, you won't talk." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "I love hearing your voice."
Jeyne stopped mid knot, staring at him with bloodshot eyes and releasing a huff, almost gasping when she pulled the thread too hard. "Please."
He clipped his mouth shut, turning to look in front of him with a glare.
Jeyne had to stop every few seconds to catch her breath, and she wasn't even halfway through yet but she pushed through the pain, knowing that she'll never dare leave that sort of wound on him unattended.
"Are you crying?" he turned to her, incredulous at her state. "Jey, I told you it doesn't hurt."
"It does!" she squeaked with the tiniest voice, clueless on how he managed to keep his calm until now.
Breaths hitching when she finally tied the last knot, she searched for the bandages with a blurred vision through her tears.
Jeyne clasped the roll, her lips trembling, finishing the procedure as quickly as she can and wrapping the palm of his hand gently, wildfire mixed with pain attacking every cell in her body it was absolute madness.
She settled on the floor, breathing so rigidly that the sound was high in volumes.
"Jey?"
"It hurt," she sobbed loudly, "Gods, it hurt so much!"
He didn't even have the opportunity to speak before she interrupted him with another wail of agony.
"I felt it," she tried to wipe her face but it wasn't doing anything good to the mess, "I felt all of it!"
"WHAT?!"
"S-soulmates don't just feel psychological pain," she explained, stuttering, "But physical pain too."
"Are you fucking serious?!" he pushed himself up with stitched hand, desperate to reach for her. "Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Don't!" she begged, holding a hand in front of her, "Don't move! It hurts!"
"Fuck!" he sat down unwillingly, his expression murderous. "Why would you do that?! Are you an idiot?!"
"It hurt and you were bleeding-"
"Who the fuck cares?!" he said it so furiously that it distracted her from the pain, "I knew it hurt, that's why I didn't want you to worry!"
"I-It's fine."
"No, it's not goddamn fine!" Jeyne then realized that she hasn't seen Theon this mad in her entire life. "You thought I'll just be happy when I know that I put you through that?!"
"Theon-"
"Go and get some pain killers, right now." He instructed, not having any of it. "Or wait, just fucking get out of here, you're only feeling it when you're near me, right? Go!"
"Would you stop shouting already?!" she snapped at him, "And if you needed pain killers, why didn't you just say so?!"
"How the hell should I know that you were feeling everything too?!"
"It's your pain, you idiot! I just can't handle it like you do, go figure." She crossed her arms across her chest, "And where the fuck would I go? It's four am in the morning."
He groaned, falling limp on the coach behind him again, running his hands through his dirty blond hair then resting it on his chest. "Don't ever do that again, oh god, my heart fucking hurts."
"You think I would've just stood by when I saw all the blood?" she deadpanned, "And besides, you just found out that your uncle is a psychotic criminal who murdered your own father; I'm the least you should be worrying about right now."
"Jeyne."
He said it so suddenly that she didn't have the time to register what had gotten into him to actually say her name, but that tone of voice was what startled her the most. Jeyne turned to look at him throughoutly, gulping at the way he watched her so intently from the gap between his fingers.
He cracked the most beautiful smile that she had ever seen, the view almost blinding and the syllables in her name flowing so charmingly in his tongue, as if she was named so only he can call her with it. "Oh, Jeyne."
The relief, admiration, and happiness that were emitting like rays suddenly changed, darkening in intensity and turning into deeper, more dangerous emotions, emotions that Jeyne had indeed felt coming towards her lots of times before, but never in that strength.
"Do you want me to feel better?"
She just stared.
"Come here." He stretched his bandaged hand, beckoning her to him. Lust. Need. Desire. Hunger. All striking at once. "I'll make you forget about the pain too."