My Friend the Giant Squid

The giant squid floated aimlessly in the river as Alice tossed bits of toast down to it. Beside her, Bella was trying to catch up on her potions and Rosalie was busy with her nails.

"Have you got any idea at all how to get through that disastrous lake?" Alice asked, referring to the second task. It was Valentine's Day (yet again), but the boys were busy with Edward's 'illness' so they couldn't come out. Just exactly what they were doing, none of them knew.

"I don't know," mumbled Bella, trying to write up an essay on Moonstones. "I suppose you're going to have to swim…"

Alice looked pleadingly at Rosalie. "Rose?"

Rosalie looked up from the flashing nail polish she was applying. "What? Oh, um, the task, of course! I don't know."

"Did Jasper say anything about it during the holidays?" asked Alice.

"You know that I don't and have never spent my holidays with them," said Rosalie in a disapproving way. "No, he did not mention it even once."

"Oh!" Bella said suddenly. "Alice, it's your birthday, isn't it? Edward wanted to give you a present but he couldn't come in person so he asked me to give it to you…" she rummaged around in her bag and pulled out…something that looked like a human sized banana peel, only it was a black banana. Rosalie and Alice took one look at it and burst out laughing.

"What is that thing?" asked Rosalie after they had gotten over their laughing fit.

"He said that it was a muggle wetsuit," explained Bella.

"Wetsuit? Why would they want to give me a muggle wetsuit?" said Alice as she examined the thing. It was rubbery and she fell over laughing again when she pulled it on rather clumsily. It was far too big for her and fit, even with her robes and scarf.

"Well, he said that since you were going to swim, you might as well be warm," said Bella, trying not to laugh as well.

"Speaking of which," said Rosalie suddenly, "both Emmett and Jasper wanted me to give you something." She fished out something that looked like Harry Potter's glasses and a huge book.

"So…what are these, then. More wetsuits?"

"No, silly," laughed Rosalie. "They're called goggles. They'll let you see more clearly underwater. Emmett said that he was going to give you an um, goldfish bowl, except he couldn't find one that wasn't too flowery and big at the same time."

Alice knew what a goldfish bowl was, and the sight of her wearing one over her head and attending the second task in that sent her in another fit of laughter.

"Okay, let me see the book," she gasped after a few minutes. Rosalie and Bella had joined and Rosalie had trouble standing up as she handed over Jasper's book.

"Huh?" said Alice. "Has Jasper got a fever? What's this, How to Talk and Make Friends with Giant Squids? Seriously," she said, looking at the Giant Squid still munching up the last of the toast. "Who would ever want talk or make friends with one?"

"Dunno," shrugged Rosalie. "Both of them said that it would come as rather useful."

Alice flipped open the first page and read: Step one: Be Nice to it.

"Well, ha, ha," said Bella sarcastically as she read through it. "This is really, really stupid. Honestly, be nice to it. Alice, I'd actually advise you to run before it eats you up!"

"Well, it's worth a try," said Alice, going over to the lake. Several Hufflepuff girls began to scream as Alice went over to it and pulled a horrific grimace and moaned in her deepest voice (which the book had deciphered as 'being friendly'). To her great surprise, the squid opened its mouth and howled back at her, making her jump back in fright.

"Don't!" Bella instructed. "No sudden movements!" she was still poring over the book, now thoroughly interested. "Let's see…now, shake tentacles with it!"

"What?" asked Alice in horror as the Giant Squid began to climb out of the lake and onto the bank. "What, I don't have any!"

"Use your hair and Wingardium Leviosa!" screamed Rosalie.

"Quiet!" snapped Bella. "No loud noises!"

"Wingardium Leviosa!" said Alice, pointing her wand at her hair and feeling desperately foolish as several Ravenclaws began to howl with laughter. Her hair rose into the air and wrapped itself around the tentacle of the squid which was now climbing up further onto the bank.

"Remove the spell now!" said Bella. Alice removed the spell, but the squid kept a tight hold onto her hair.

"Well, that's it," breathed Bella. "If the squid keeps on holding on, it means that it likes you, Alice. Let's go."

"Um, Bella," said Alice. "Does the book say exactly how to remove the spell?"

Bella whirled around. "What?"

"Well, it won't let go."

"Oh, no!" said Bella, flipping around for the solution. "Oh, dear, it doesn't say anything about it!"

"Check the place where it teaches us how to talk to them!" pleaded Alice as she backed away from the Squid.

"I don't know!" exclaimed Bella, beginning to panic. "Um, make gurgling noises at it !"

"Blub, blub, blub?" asked Alice, but the Squid wouldn't let go. "That's not the correct way, Bella!"

"Alice, watch out!" shouted Rosalie. Alice looked down and found that the squid wasn't happy with only one side of her hair; its other feelers were creeping out and had wrapped themselves around her legs.

"Oh, no," Alice moaned, trying to move away. The squid was now entirely on the grounds now and everyone was now screaming, including Bella.

"Bella, go and find Jasper!" shouted Rosalie, shaking Bella's shoulders roughly. "He got the book, and if he can't do anything, I will kill him with my bare hands!"

Alice saw Bella running off towards the castle and sincerely hoped that Jasper would arrive in time. Oh, please, she prayed silently as the squid continued to slither up the bank.

"What's going on?" came a voice. Alice looked up to see Professors McGonagall and Snape rushing towards them. "Miss Brandon, what are you doing?"

"It won't let go," wailed Alice. Snape snatched the book away from Rosalie and filed through it.

"It seems as though Miss Brandon thinks that it is wise to make friends with the Giant Squid," he sneered,

"Severus, this is not funny. Alice, who gave this book to you?"

Alice didn't register the use of her first name. "Um, it was a birthday present from Jasper!" she said wildly.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Silly children should not play with things they do not understand," he said.

"Severus, that is out of the question!"

Alice looked up and saw Bella rushing back with Jasper, who had a look of utter horror on his face. "Alice!" he panted when he reached them. "Alice, I—"

"Just get me out of here!" Alice wailed.

"Where's the book?"

Snape handed the book to Jasper, who flipped through it wildly. "Stop pulling on your hair!" he instructed Alice. "Don't pull, that's the sign that you want it to come closer in the squid language!"

"Oh, great." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Now, bend down to it very slowly," instructed Jasper. "That's right…now, kiss the squid."

"What?" asked Alice.

"Kiss the squid!"

"Where?" asked Alice, looking at the squid's mouth.

"On the mouth!" said Jasper. "No, no, I'm only joking…kiss it anywhere you like!"

"Oh, great," Alice moaned as she bent forward to kiss the squid's tentacle. The squid blinked a few times, then let go of her and slid back into the river.

There was a moment's of silence as the squid disappeared into the water. Then Professor McGonagall was there, her eyes flashing furiously.

"What sort of book did you give her?" she barked at Jasper. "That was highly dangerous, what were you thinking? Detention!"

Snape didn't seem interested as he swooped back into the castle with Professor McGonagall. Alice looked at her friends balefully, then sighed.

"At least I wasn't about to be squid food," she sighed, squeezing water out of her hair and robes. Jasper grinned apologetically.

"I didn't give that book to you for no reason, Alice."

Alice frowned. "Wasn't it just a little prank?"

"Of course not. The Giant Squid is now your friend. It will…help you when you go into the lake."

Alice's eyes lit up. "Oh! The second task! That's why you wanted me to read it…so that I could get to the finish faster!"

Jasper nodded. "That's right."

Then suddenly, Emmett's voice reached them as he came across the grounds, holding something that looked like a –

"Fishbowl!" Emmett grinned. "A fishbowl, Alice! A fishbowl the right size for you! It is stretchable as well! You can wear this to the second task!"

AN:

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