Usually, 10 reviews or more are enough incentive for me to upload the next chapter. This time, I waited a day longer - my way of being silent to remember the victims of the terrorist attacks on the US 14 years ago. The whole world has never been the same since.
Having said that, let's see how our favorite couple is doing after that first kiss ...
26.
After picking Eli up from school, they went to Elliot's house. Liv's body was beginning to protest against being awake for three days straight and Elliot suggested that she take a nap before picking up Noah at day care. She was still reeling a little from all the events of the day – and especially the passionate kissing with Elliot – and agreed. She hesitated before walking upstairs. Elliot must have guessed what she was thinking and told her: 'You can crash in my bedroom if you want.' She was probably looking at him strangely because he immediately added: 'I will leave you alone, promise.' She laughed, not sure if she really wanted to be left alone, and headed upstairs.
He came up to wake her around 5 pm and she realized she had been sleeping like a baby for well over an hour. She stretched while getting up, only to be pulled in by Elliot for another kiss. She could definitely get used to this. He was surprisingly gentle with her, she thought while enjoying being held by him. Goosebumps formed all over her body as he placed small kisses on her neck and behind her ear. She giggled and he laughed out loud because he loved the sound of Olivia Benson giggling. She felt so at home in his arms and just held on to him as he caressed her back and messed up her hair while kissing her nose, her eyelids and her cheeks, and then her neck and her collarbone again. Part of her had wondered, once they would finally give in to the physical attraction, if they would wind up in bed together right away. She noticed she was actually relieved that they had not moved that fast. Not that she didn't want it to happen. She so wanted it to happen. She was just hesitant because of the scars.
She wanted to tell Elliot about her scars before he discovered them on his own. Maybe they would disgust him. She would never forget the look on Brian's face when he had first seen her battered body. She had never let him look at her again and they had only had sex in the dark after that. After breaking up with Brian, she had not dated again. So in more than one way this was new territory for her.
Elliot felt Liv tense up a little in his arms and looked at her face.
'What are you thinking?' he asked, still a little worried that she might change her mind.
'Nothing,' she said quickly, 'I just need to get going.'
'You are coming back here with Noah, right?'
'Well of course I am! Did you think I would just go straight home?'
He leaned against her forehead with his and admitted: 'I guess I am still wondering if this is all a dream.'
She smiled her beautiful smile at him and kissed him softly on the lips.
'If this is a dream, then I don't want to wake up.'
...
Eli was slightly disappointed when Liv told him Noah would be taking a nap after they got there but she assured him he would be ready to play after dinner. Elliot had started to make dinner and Liv felt so much at home here now, that it moved her to tears. She had always longed for a family of her own and it was almost as if an instant family was presented to her. And she was with Elliot now ...
After putting Noah down she stayed upstairs a little longer, just watching her little boy sleep. It gave her a chance to think things over quietly. She couldn't believe how rejected she had felt while Elliot was admitting to her that he had loved her for years. Was she really that messed up? Would she be able to settle into a life with Elliot or would her insecurities get the better of her? Would she allow herself to be loved? Would she be able to maintain a relationship? She smiled when she realized that Elliot was still the longest relationship she had ever had with a man. He had put up with her for years and he still wanted to be with her. And she still wanted to be with him, this stubburn hothead who just wouldn't let go once he had latched on to something. And now he had latched on to her.
Had she forgiven him for leaving her behind? She wasn't sure that she needed to forgive him for that now. He did apologize for not responding to at least one of her many voicemails and texts but she was trying to understand. The intensity of their relationship – whatever it was – had been too much for him under the circumstances. He could have contacted her afterwards but she was trying to see things from his perspective now and thought that she might have found it difficult too. And even so, wasn't he entitled to make mistakes, just like everyone else?
When she finally came down, Elliot was putting dinner on the table. He turned around and smiled widely when he saw her approaching. She put her hand on his back while checking out the food on the table. It was fish, potatoes and grilled vegetables and it smelled great.
'You like?' Elliot asked while wrapping his arms around her waist.
'I like,' she confirmed.
Eli was already seated and they joined him, wondering if Eli would notice the change in their behavior. He did not seem to notice, or he simply didn't care. He was just eager to eat. Liv set aside some food for Noah, that she would give him later.
...
Later that night the kids were both sleeping and the adults were watching some TV. They were lying on the couch together, Elliot with one arm around Liv, and Liv's head resting on his chest.
'This is nice,' Liv said.
Elliot kissed her on the forehead.
'It sure is.'
'Do you think Kathy would approve? You know ... of us?'
She had been wondering about that for a while now because Kathy had been the one to get her back here.
'I know she does,' Elliot said without hesitation.
Liv got up a little on one elbow to look at him. 'How do you know that?'
'Because she told me. She literally told me on the day she died that you and I have her blessing. She knew I loved you and that is why she asked for you.'
Liv rested her head on his chest again.
'She loved you very much.'
'I know. I couldn't leave her. You understand, don't you Liv?'
He placed another kiss on her forehead. She understood. They watched some TV in silence for a while, both content with just being together.
'El?'
'Hmm?'
'When did you realize you loved me?'
Elliot leaned back with his head on the armrest of the couch, closing his eyes to remember.
'I think the first time I actually admitted it to myself was when you were almost killed by Gitano at the train station.'
She remembered that day well. It was the day they had almost lost each other and the day she had asked for a new partner.
'But when I started thinking about it, I had 'feelings' for you before that. We would get into these huge fights over cases and I found myself enjoying that a little too much.' He grinned. 'It was actually kind of exciting sometimes ...'
She poked him in the shoulder with her fist but she was laughing as well.
'You never told me that!'
He lifted his head to look at her, a shocked look on his face.
'Are you kidding me! Why on earth would I have told you that? You would have bit my head off!'
She started tickling him and he shot up to return the favor. Pretty soon they had fallen off the couch and Elliot was lying on top of her, his face just inches away from hers.
'Your turn,' he said. 'When did you know?'
She knew exactly when she had admitted it to herself.
'When you started showing an interest in Rebecca Hendrix.'
'What?!'
He sat up on the floor, pulling her up beside him and looked at her with a mixture of pleasure and surpise in his eyes. She sighed and leaned against the couch.
'Yeah ... I was actually jealous of her.'
Elliot was stunned. That was ages ago, when he and Kathy had just separated. But they had gotten back together. As if reading his mind, Liv explained further.
'You know, Kathy and your kids were a given. They belonged with you. And I was your partner so I also belonged with you. When you started noticing Rebecca, I suddenly felt like no one else should join in. She didn't belong with you and I wanted nobody else anywhere near you. Does that sound stupid?'
He smiled and leaned over to her, taking her face in his hands.
'That doesn't sound stupid at all. It's sweet.'
He kissed her and she pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around his neck.
With her lips still brushing his lightly, she said: 'You wouldn't have found it sweet back then. You were always angry with me.'
He moved away just enough so he could look into her eyes.
'Liv, I wasn't angry with you. I was mostly angry with myself and with the world, and I probably took it out on you because ... because I felt safe with you.'
'And I felt safe with you,' she said softly, leaning her forehead against his shoulder.
'I am so sorry Liv.'
She looked up and saw that he had tears in his eyes.
'I should never have left you alone like that.'
Liv put her hand on his cheek and seeing the hurt in his eyes made her heart go out to him.
'That's in the past El,' she said softly. 'This is now.'
He kissed her again, more urgently this time and he pulled her up and over him on his lap, so she sat with one knee on either side of him.
'Then why don't we make the most of now?' he said, and he placed a kiss on her collarbone while runing his hands across her back and her ass.
Liv pulled back and Elliot was surprised to see such a sudden mood shift. She frowned and sat down beside him on the floor again. He tilted his head and looked at her, a question in his eyes.
'What's wrong Liv?'
She paused and Elliot got a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. Why was she moving away from him again?
'El, I need to tell you something.'
...
One more chapter to go! I love getting reviews!