SALVATION

Note: This is a long chapter. FYI.

Federal prison

"Ninety-six...ninety-seven...ninety-eight...ninety-nine...one...hundred!"

And with that, Tom Falk has completed a goal that he's hoped to accomplish since he arrived in solitary nine months ago: 100 pushups.

Tom hops up to his feet with a big smile on his face. Sweat pours out of his body, which has undergone some transformations since he entered prison.

His arms are a little bigger and stronger. He's also just about lost those 10 to 15 pounds everyone told him he could afford to lose. He doesn't yet have a six-pack, but Tom figures he'll have one if he keeps this up for a couple more months.

However, he realizes his time in this prison might be coming to an end. After he's sentenced, he could be sent to a prison far away from here...far away from Nadia. This fact forces his smile to erase as he walks over and sits on the edge of his bed.

Julian Sark recently re-emerged from his coma. However, Tom's attorney Eduardo Munoz has not been able to get him to change his story. And the video of Tom's interrogation of Sark remains semi-corrupted.

Sark's coma made it easy for Munoz to stall things on behalf of Tom, but with Sark back among the conscious, there's no more stalling left to be done. In two weeks, he's going to have a pre-trial hearing, with trial to come the week after that.

Tom's almost resigned to the fact that he's facing a long prison sentence until his 40's.

Oh, and to top it all off, Nadia remains in her coma, with little hope in sight there.

Still, when he finds that he's feeling down, he pulls out a now-wrinkly picture of him and Nadia on the shore of the ocean in Argentina five years ago, and her smile still manages to warm his sinking heart. Tom kisses Nadia's face in the picture. He hasn't stopped loving her, even though it's been 10 months since she spoke a word to him.

In fact, Tom has put the whole Sovogda experience in his rear-view mirror. It now seems so long ago, especially when your days are as slow as his. He still feels guilty for abandoning Nadia in the subway, but no longer does he let it drag him down to the psychological abyss.

Recently, Sydney gave birth to Isabelle, and between the baby and her job, she's been visiting less of late, although Tom understands why. Plus, he has become a boring conversation lately, unless he just so happened to read a book that Sydney had read before.

Despite all of that, Sydney makes sure someone is available to escort Tom to see Nadia on a weekly basis, even if she's not available. For instance, Marshall Flinkmann was Tom's escort last week. Like Sydney, Marshall is also on Tom's side when it comes to his court case.

Tom looks down at the ground and looks at a couple of rolled-up balls of white paper.

Eight months ago, Arvin Sloane told him that he should tell Nadia about what happened after Matt Aguero died. And while Tom is resigned to the fact that he has to tell her, he just doesn't know how.

Draft after draft after draft gets wadded up and thrown on the ground. Just when he thinks of a way he can spin his story, he wads up the paper and tosses it away, and goes back to the drawing board.

Now, as he sits catching a breather from his jail cell workout, he recalls a story from his past of the very man who he's trying to write about.

St. Francis Xavier Church, El Paso, TX- August 1995

A young Hispanic man stands in front of a mirror, adjusting his tie. He's in a full tuxedo and looks very stylish. His black hair is buzzed very short, and he sports a small chin goatee. Some women would say he is rather handsome.

He looks a little nervous as he adjusts his tie, then adjusts his corsage on his left chest, and then the sleeves of his black tuxedo. As he frets over his appearance, a recognizable voice sarcastically says "You can do all the tweaking you want, Matt. But you're still going to look like Ricky Ricardo's worst nightmare!"

The man laughs as he turns and faces an early 20's Tom Falk, who's sitting on a couch. Falk is physically about the same as he's always been, but his blonde hair is a bit longer and his widow's peak hasn't quite formed yet.

In a noticeable Hispanic accent, Matt jokingly replies "Hey, don't diss the man who brought the world the Babalu Club! Ricky Ricardo was the man!" Tom laughs and says "Yeah, he was back in his day, wasn't he?"

Tom then composes himself as he stands and sincerely says "You look good, bud." Matt takes a deep breath and says "Thanks. I'm so nervous, man...I don't want to make a fool of myself out there."

Tom gives Matt an pat on the shoulder and says "You'll do fine. I mean, with all you've gone through, surely this will be easy!" Matt shakes his head a little dejected. "No, this is different. I mean, Rachel's done so much for me...and now she's carrying my child for me..."

Tom shakes his head. "No, she's carrying your child WITH you, Matt. That's what marriage is all about...you're in this together." Matt chuckles and says "How would you know? You're still working up the courage to propose to Kate!"

Tom replies "Yeah, yeah. But look, you've helped Rachel as much as she's helped you. Believe me, she loves you like crazy." Matt quickly replies "I know, but she had a much better upbringing than me, but always had trouble finding 'the right guy'. And here she is, about to marry a former street thug."

Tom pats Matt on the shoulder and says "Have a seat, Matt." Matt nods as he sits down on the couch with Tom.

Tom then says "Listen, I'm not too proud of some of the things I've done in my life too, not the least of which my heroin addiction two years ago. But we're not defined by who we were. We're defined by who we are. You're not a street thug anymore. You're a good man. And I'm proud to be your best man at your wedding today."

Matt smiles and says "I appreciate that." He then looks up at the ceiling. "You know, I remember coming into this church quite a bit growing up, looking for direction. This neighborhood was ground zero for gang activity back in my young days, and yet, here stood this bright spot in the middle of it all. My mom tried her best to take care of me, but it was hard for her to keep me focused in school when I was so influenced by all of the drug dealing and death taking place around me because of the cartels. And then, when my mom was gunned down, I lost my way. I stopped coming here, and that's when I embraced the gang lifestyle."

Tom, listening intently, says "You were 15 and you had to take care of your little brother and sister. There's not many job options for 15 year olds in this country." Matt shakes his head. "I know. And when my days of slinging dope and doing drive-bys were done, and when I'd lie in bed at home contemplating what I've done, I would find myself wondering if I'd ever find salvation. But, I couldn't bring myself to show my face in church anymore because I was so ashamed of myself."

Matt looks down and takes a deep breath. "And then, when I got pinched and was rotting in prison, Eduardo Munoz offered me a way out by offering me a job with the Anti-Cartel. I thought it was then that I had my salvation, but I was wrong. Turns out it was looking for Rachel all along."

Tom smiles and says "I remember when you two met at the bar that one night, you were smitten from the moment she said 'hi'!" Matt laughs a bit and says "Yeah, I'll never forget that either. It was through her that I found the salvation I was looking for. When I told her the things I've done in my life, she still stayed with me. And here she is, carrying my first-born child and about to marry me and take on the Aguero name."

Matt sniffles a bit, trying to hold back the tears. Tom cracks a small smile and puts his arm around Matt. "You're going to be a good husband and a good father. And when I eventually ask Kate to marry me, whenever that day may come, I'd be honored if you were my best man. Best man means exactly that, and you've been like a brother to me since we started together in the Anti-Cartel." Matt wipes away a couple tears and says "So have you, Tom. I'd be honored to be your best man."

Matt then sighs and says "Tom, I'm not going to be in the Anti-Cartel for much longer." Tom looks confused now. "What? Why?"

Matt replies "You know that the life-expectancy of an Anti-Cartel agent is pretty low. I don't want to be worried about what would happen if Rachel became a widow. She doesn't deserve that, and neither will my child. I've been going to school so I can become a criminal psychologist." Tom, in a bit of disbelief, says "That's great, but isn't that a bit of a step down from what you'll be making here?"

Matt blankly replies "Tom, we both have been skimming money from our raids. I've been skimming so I can save up and have a nest egg to supplement my income when I do get out of this. Now that I have Rachel and my baby on the way, I want to be there for them as much as I can. And to do that, I have to get out of this. In about a year or so, I'm gone. Please don't tell anyone."

Tom looks down, and still a little surprised, says "I understand. I just remember how adamant you were about trying to fight crime instead of causing it." Matt pats Tom on the knee and says "I still will be fighting crime. But instead of trying to stop gangbangers with my gun, I'll be stopping them with my words."

Someone knocks on the door to the room and Matt yells "Come in!" The door opens and Mike Walcott, looking much younger without his beard, walks in. "Hey, I think they're about ready to go out there."

Matt motions Mike to come over. "Hey, let's make a toast." Tom and Matt stand up while Mike walks over. Matt reaches over to the table next to the couch and pours some tequila into three shot glasses. He grabs two glasses and hands them to Tom and Mike. He grabs one for himself and holds it up high.

Tom and Mike follow suit as Matt says "To good friends and even better times to come." Tom smirks and says "To good women at your side." Mike chuckles and sarcastically says "And here's to staying single!"

The three of them share a laugh over that, then touch glasses. With the glasses still touching, the three of them say at the same time "Amigos hasta el final!" (Friends until the end).

Federal prison

Tom smiles as he reminisces about that good moment. To no one, he says "Some day, I'm going to be in Matt Aguero's shoes and Mike will be in mine. I wonder if I'll feel the same way Matt felt on his wedding day."

"I'm sure you'll do just fine, too."

Tom's eyes bug out for a moment, but then he settles down, realizing he just heard his mother. "Mom? After 9 months of being locked in a closet, you decide NOW is the time to talk to me?"

Mary replies "Tom, I can't abuse my privileges." Tom just laughs sarcastically and says "So, you talk to me only when I'm nearly getting shanked to death or when I'm randomly mumbling things into thin air. I get it now...I think."

After a few seconds, Mary says "I've also been busy as of late, so I probably didn't hear you before." Tom looks confused. "Busy? You're dead! What could you possibly be doing in the afterlife besides...well, whatever it is you do when you're in the afterlife?"

Mary audibly sighs and says "I see you're feeling better as of late. You were starting to really lose yourself before you were imprisoned." Tom rolls his eyes and says "Oh, you noticed?"

Mary quickly replies "I saw you break down in Sovogda. I was with you throughout the whole mission. There were so many times where I wanted to say something, but I couldn't." Tom nods and, a little irritated, says "So, you must have known that Nadia was able to fight off the horde in the subway."

Mary says "No, I stayed with you during all of that. I didn't see anything that happened to Nadia until you reached the rooftop." Now angry, Tom says "Well, maybe you could have followed her instead! Maybe you could have told her to be careful after she fought off the horde. Maybe you could have prevented her from being caught by Elena!"

After a few seconds, Mary says "I...was under orders to not interfere with what was going on." Tom stands up and yells "ORDERS? What do you mean 'orders'? Who the hell has the right to say they're your boss when you're in the afterlife? I thought we could be whoever we wanted in the afterlife!"

Mary sighs again and says "Tom, I was asked by Milo Rambaldi to not interfere." Tom's jaw drops. "You spoke to Rambaldi..."

Mary says "Yes. In fact, he was the man on the horse when you visited me after you were shot." Tom sits back down suddenly and looks completely stunned as he hunches over. "Un-freaking-believable. How long have you been in league with Rambaldi in your little blue world?"

Mary says "Ever since I arrived in the afterlife. He was waiting for me. He told me everything about your role in the prophecy and about Laurent L'Andre." Tom, still in disbelief, says "Irina Derevko said something about Laurent after we pulled her from Guatemala. What all did he say about him?"

Mary replies "Not much, except that he is our ancestor and he was a loyal apprentice of his. In fact, up until your great-grandfather, the Laurent name carried on throughout the generations. And Irina was right, Laurent became Loren and L'Andre became Landry after his descendents sailed from France and settled in Missouri." Tom blankly says "Interesting. Anyway, I wish you would have talked to me earlier. Some days here are downright unbearable because of loneliness."

Mary says "I know. But, as I said, I've been busy." Tom sits up and says "Ok, I'll bite. What have you been doing?"

Mary, with noticeable worry in her voice, says "Tom, please don't be angry with what I'm about to tell you." Tom now looks both intrigued and worried. "Most times, when people tell you 'don't be angry', you're probably going to be angry. So, just say it. Please."

Mary pauses for a few seconds, and then says "I've been working with Irina Derevko to try to locate The Horizon, the last piece in Rambaldi's puzzle. When Sydney had her child, she started to make her move, but she would have had a lot of difficulty getting to this point in her plan without me." Tom sighs loudly and says "Why on earth would you help Irina Derevko do anything?"

Mary takes a deep breath and says "Because, in exchange for my help, she helped me help you." Tom, now completely baffled, blankly asks "What?"

Mary quickly replies "In Sovogda, as you were progressing down the Oransky Building with Nadia in your arms, I made a deal with Irina. My workings with Milo Rambaldi in the afterlife have given me a vast knowledge of his prophecy. So, in exchange for my help in her quest, I needed her to help comfort you after the mission and..." Tom notices her pause quickly. "And what?"

Mary then says "The reason you're in prison is because of me. I had Irina, through Gordon Dean, send Julian Sark to get beaten up by you." In a moment of total disbelief, Tom closes his eyes and grits his teeth. Through his clinched teeth, he says "You did not just say that..."

Mary replies "Tom, it was the only way you could survive the aftermath of Sovogda. I was there before you were told about your role in the prophecy, when Director Chase told you that you were one step away from being in deep trouble. And after seeing you become mentally shattered after what happened to Nadia, I had to do something to make sure you would survive all these months. You were in the process of becoming an alcoholic like your father..." Tom, now with some tears in his eyes, screams "I AM NOT MY FATHER! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?"

Mary pauses for a bit, then, remaining calm as usual, says "Tom, I know you don't want to hear this, but there are a few traits you picked up from your father. One of them was his addictive personality. I remember how you were in 1993..." Tom cuts her off angrily. "Don't even bring up my heroin addiction. That was all because I had too much pride in my job. I was setting up an LA gang on major drug charges, and with each deal I'd do with them, they'd make me test the heroin to make sure it was kosher. That's how I became addicted."

Mary says "I know. But, you completely spiraled out of control..." Tom angrily cuts her off. "...and I got better! I went to rehab and I cleaned up and I NEVER have gone down that road again! And I would have gone to rehab again to beat whatever happened with me and alcohol!"

Mary then says "When Nadia recovered, would you have wanted her to see what you had become? You wouldn't have stopped drinking, no matter how hard you worked at APO. And I was worried you'd start doing heroin again. You have to understand, I did this to protect you." Tom shakes his head and says "You're protecting me by taking 10 months and counting of my life away from me, and when Nadia recovers, she's going to learn that the man she's engaged to is in prison for 10 effing years for pounding some pretty boy's face!"

After some silence, Mary says "You won't be in prison that long." Tom shakes his head quickly and asks "And how the hell do you know this? Is this just a 'keep your head up' kind of speech or do you know something I don't?"

Mary replies "I can't say..." Tom raises his eyebrows. "Oh, so now, you're going to be all secretive again. Maybe if I was IRINA DEREVKO, you would tell me!"

After a pause, Mary says "Tom, please don't be angry with me. I only tried to help you because I love you, and you've come a long way since you were arrested..." Tom cuts her off, still pissed. "You know how you sound right now? My own mother doesn't even have faith in me!"

Mary sighs and says "Listen, I can see how some things go in the future, and I can't give too much away here. All I will say is that I didn't make the deal with Irina with the intent of you spending a long time in prison." Tom takes a bit to digest this information, then says "Mom, you would help a complete stranger from the afterlife, so your own son is going to ask you for your help."

Mary says "What is it?" Tom, with a sneer on his face, says "I didn't sign up to be a Rambaldi plaything, and neither did Nadia. When all of this is behind us, there's going to be no more prophecy bullshit in our lives. And that includes you, Mom. Except for when you gave me the cue to move out of the way from getting shanked nine months ago, you've been nothing but bad news when you've reached across planes of existence to contact me. You told me I was going to die after an unbelievable night with Nadia, and now, I have to learn I was set up not by Gordon Dean, not by Irina Derevko, but my dead mother. Now, I can't get you down on the witness stand to confess what you did to me, so all of this is going to have to stay quiet so they don't think I've gone batshit crazy in solitary. But listen, when this is over and I'm walking free again, I don't want to hear your voice until I see your face in the afterlife. Hopefully, if Nadia doesn't hate me after I write this letter to her, I'm going to live a normal, regular, boring life with the woman I love, and hopefully get to raise a child or two. And I'm going to do that without hearing your voice in my head. Ever. I know I won't be able to forget everything that's happened to me, but I want to do my best to try. And not talking to you will help with that process."

Mary, with noticeable worry in her voice, says "Tom, please don't do this to me. I love you..." Tom sarcastically replies "Oh what, you don't like being banished? How do you think I feel right now, sitting in prison? I don't want to have conversations with my mother only when it's convenient for her! I've called out to you I don't know how many times since I got here, but all I got was silence! And now, I know why. So, as long as blood continues to flow through my veins, don't talk to me. Got it?"

Now with sadness in her voice, Mary says "Tom, I also wanted to say one more thing before I go. Will you please listen to me?" Tom dismissively replies "Sure, why not? I'm not doing anything better at the moment."

Mary replies "You've been having trouble writing your letter to Nadia. All I'm going to say is: your best shot at keeping Nadia's love is just by being honest. In a life surrounded by lies, you've been the most honest person she's known, and she values that more than you'll ever know. And it's not just being honest about avenging Matt Aguero's death, either." Tom, a little confused, asks "I've told her just about everything else..."

Mary cuts Tom off. "Arvin Sloane. I watched as he talked with Jorge Campos. There was a strong desire by him to have you killed, although he did rethink his decision at the end. However, Jorge had made up his mind. I know you considered having him killed, but you never were too serious about it. But Sloane was. Tell her everything and leave nothing out. You'll only help her if you do." Tom chuckles sarcastically and says "Wow, some helpful advice for once. About time, Mom."

Mary then says "I'll respect your wish to stay silent. But know that I only want what you want: to see Nadia walk down the aisle. Everything I've done since Nadia fell in Sovogda is to try to ensure that. Anyway, I'm going to go now. I love you." Tom mumbles "I love you, too...I guess."

Tom waits to see if he'll hear anything again, and when he realizes his mom is gone, he turns back and grabs a pad of paper and pen from next to his pillow. He thinks for a bit and then starts to write.

After about an hour of writing, Tom goes over what he wrote:

Dear Nadia,

If you're reading this, then you've been cured. I can't tell you how happy I'm going to be to hear this news.

By now, you're probably wondering why you haven't seen me yet. Believe me, if I could be there, I would be. After what I've been going through for much of the past year, nothing would make me happier than to see you smiling again.

However, whether you see me again or not is entirely up to you.

I've been in prison since the 5th day after the Sovogda mission. I'm facing 5 to 10 years in prison for the attempted murder of Julian Sark. I can't explain why I'm in this predicament without telling you the whole backstory, so here we go.

Right before the meeting where Jack revealed my role in the Rambaldi prophecy, Director Chase told me that she learned some more details about some incidents in the Anti-Cartel that immediately followed the death of my good friend Matt Aguero. I think I've mentioned his name to you before, but nothing else, and for good reason. More on him in a bit.

After the Sovogda mission, I couldn't help but feel like a failure to you. I can't count the times since we got together that I promised to always be there for you, and I wanted nothing more than to leap off that subway car and help you fight off the infected. But, Vaughn held me back.

I was angry at him for a while over that, but I realized later that he was just trying to protect me. I had given you my gun and I would have gone in weaponless and in the dark. Much to my regret, I couldn't apologize to him before he was slain.

I don't know if you remember anything after Elena injected you with the tainted tap water, but I reached the rooftop just moments before your father shot you in the back while you were choking Sydney with a chain. I tried to tackle him so I could stop you in a more humane way, but I was a split second too late. I nearly killed your father after what he did to you by strangling him, but when I saw you were still alive, I let him go.

I rushed over to your side and you said my name before fainting. Again, I don't know if you remember this or not. Your father then told me that he shot you so I could save you with The Lifeforce. I still wanted to kill the son of a bitch, but I granted him a stay of execution. More on him later.

Anyway, The Lifeforce did not work on your infection. It healed up your bullet wound just fine, along with that skin graft you had on your neck after Anna branded you. I think that's all of your scars, but if you had any more, they're gone now. You're welcome.

After my failure to heal you, I took it hard. I spent the next 4 days in a drunken bender. All I did was sit at home and drink and feel sorry for myself. I was angry with myself over the fact that I couldn't heal you and, in Sovogda, I couldn't save you and protect you like I had promised so many times before.

Finally, my friend Mike helped me snap out of it, and I went and saw you on the 5th day after Sovogda. However, Jack paid me a visit in the hospital and told me that Sark wanted to talk to me, and me only, about this new organization called Prophet Five. So, I returned to work that day.

However, during his interrogation, it became clear that Sark was only going to antagonize me. I got up to walk away, but then he started talking about you. I'm not going to repeat what he said about you and I hope you never have to hear it, but he crossed the line.

I responded by literally destroying his face. After punching his face repeatedly with my Project Alloy-aided right fist, I gave him a curb stomp on a floor vent. Gordon Dean, a man with the Office of Special Investigations, was supposed to be in charge of supervising my interrogation, but he skipped town during the beating and was later revealed to be a double. In fact, he murdered Vaughn later that day. Dean's flight from APO was why I was given so much time to beat up Sark so badly, because it took a long time for anyone to break us up.

After things settled down, Director Chase came in to the room I was being held in and, after Sark falsely told her I intended to kill him and made further death threats, informed me that I was being arrested and charged with attempted murder. The video of the actual interrogation, where he provoked me into attacking him, was corrupted and only captured the actual beating itself. I knew I was being set up. Turns out I was, by my own mother. I really don't feel like talking about that right now, though.

Before I go on, I want to give thanks to your sister. Through her, I was allowed to see you once a week. Sydney supervised my visits with you. In fact, I owe her a huge debt of gratitude for sticking with me throughout this and providing me home-cooked food when she can! She's been nothing but wonderful to me after my arrest and I can't repay her kindness enough.

Now, what I'm about to say is something your father wanted me to keep quiet. But, even if you don't want to see or talk to me after reading this, I want you to be happy for the rest of your life, and I feel you should know this about your father if you're still wondering if you can pursue a relationship with him.

During my third week of incarceration, a man tried to sneak up behind me during a prison yard brawl and stab me in the back. Thankfully, my mother clued me in to the attack before it happened and I was able to move of the way. The assassin was accompanied by a man named Jorge Campos, a person I had prior relations with in the Anti-Cartel. And I don't mean good relations. However, when I asked him if this was his idea, he told me something I wasn't expecting at all. Here are his exact words:

"I met your I met your future father-in-law a couple weeks ago. He wanted you dead, too."

Your father would try to deny this to me a month later, but not a few minutes before I started writing this letter to you, my mother confessed to me that she saw the meet with Jorge and confirmed that your father indeed wanted me killed. Back when my blood didn't work on you, I made him a deal: If he somehow got out of prison (which he did), he had to find a cure for you. Because if you were to die because of his actions (and yes, I blame him 100% for your coma), he was going to die at my hands. However, Sloane apparently took that as an imminent threat and pushed Jorge to have me murdered.

Anyway, as a result of the attempt of my life, I was ordered to stay in protective custody. It's been 9 months since I entered solitary confinement. My days are long, dull and lonely.

But, I can still put a smile on my face when I pull out Elena's picture of us in Argentina after the Conquistadores mission in 2001. Like I said when I proposed to you, your smile is so beautiful, and my heart is filled with euphoria every time I see it. Your smile has kept me positive and I look forward to seeing it again in person.

Your father also told me that he's been working with Gordon Dean to find you a cure. In order to do that, he had to rejoin APO and do tasks for Dean that would result in the betrayal of Sydney and everyone else at APO. I have no idea what all he's done, although I hear Dean died a while ago while at APO, apparently ready to spill the beans on Prophet Five. Draw your own conclusions there. I'm out of the loop on Sloane's dealings because he hasn't shown his face to me since that one meeting we had a month into my stay in solitary.

Now, you might have wondered why I'm being so aggressively prosecuted for beating up a career criminal. Now is the part where I explain that.

Sark had come to APO and had guarantees of his protection and safety. I violated that. He was also defenseless, having been handcuffed. As I also understand it, the CIA is taking the stance that the titanium bones in my right hand present something of a lethal weapon.

I'm also being prosecuted aggressively because of those truths that Director Chase had conjured up about my rampage after the death of Matt Aguero, a fellow agent and friend of mine in the Anti-Cartel.

Mateo "Matt" Hernando Aguero was a former gangbanger from El Paso, Texas. Sort of like you, much of his teen years were spent filled with crime. He participated in numerous drug deals, robberies and gangland slayings before Eduardo Munoz, my former Anti-Cartel director and current attorney, plucked him out of prison, also like you.

Me and Matt were both in the original recruiting class and were both assigned to work under Mitch Hayes, the man I later killed to get my Rambaldi document (which also is a reason I'm being prosecuted heavily). Mike Walcott, my good friend from Storm Crew, came along a year later and joined our team in the Anti-Cartel.

Matt quickly became like a brother to me. His good nature hid his rough upbringing and former gang life. He was very helpful in helping me understand gang mentality. You can also thank him for my ability to speak Spanish!

I was the best man at his wedding, and eight months after the wedding, his wife Rachel gave birth to Matt Aguero Jr, his first born. He couldn't have been any happier with how his life was going.

Three months after his son is born, we were sent to Campeche in southern Mexico, the home to the Lobos Rabiosos gang. They were still relatively small-time, but had been making a lot of noise as of late because of their brutal, aggressive nature of doing business. Our job was to gather intel on them.

One day, Matt is sent in alone to do surveillance on their compound. However, he was discovered and captured.

A day passes and we're trying to figure out how we can extract him. As we're exploring our options, we get a knock on the door of our hotel room, followed by the sound of footsteps running off down the hallway.

I quickly answer the door and find Matt curled up in the fetal position, fighting for his life.

His left arm was cut off. So were his legs up to his knees. His face was scarred and ruined after acid was thrown on it. That was after they beat his face and caused multiple facial and skull fractures and numerous broken teeth. His fingernails were ripped out...presumably in both hands before they cut the left arm off. There were multiple stab wounds throughout his body. His spine was shattered. And, as if that wasn't enough, he would tell us that they castrated him.

We gently picked him up and set him on our bed. He was destroyed, and the humane thing would have been to kill him when they were done. But he was only allowed to live so he could send a message to us: Don't mess with the Lobos.

He then asked for a gun so he could kill himself. He didn't want his family to see him like that and he just wanted the pain to be over.

I handed him my gun. He grabbed it with his lone hand and looked up to me and said the following words: "Make them suffer."

And before I could turn away, my good friend put my gun in his mouth and blew his brains out on the wall behind him.

It was at that moment that me and Mike Walcott both agreed that we needed to strike back at the Lobos Rabiosos, but Mitch, our team leader, wouldn't have it.

So, we went back with Matt's body and had his funeral in El Paso. His wife was devastated when she heard the news about what happened to him and asked if anything was going to be done to the gang that tortured him.

Later that night, me and Mike went rogue and returned to Campeche to take care of business.

In the three weeks it took to complete our mission, we hid out in my safehouse in Campeche, the very safehouse I told you about when I told you about my money from raids that I was skimming. You could have spent months looking for us, but the place is so secret, you wouldn't have ever found us.

A source close to the Lobos told us that it was actually the leader of the Lobos, Francisco Alvarado, that did most of the damage on Matt. Locating him was hard, so we just did unto others what they would do onto us if they could: We kidnapped Lobos gang members one by one and tortured them using just one of the methods they used on Matt until we found a gang member willing to give up their leader.

We attacked each person's strengths. If you were fast, you got a leg cut off. If you were strong, you got your arms cut off. If you were good with a gun, off went your hands. If you were handsome, we destroyed your face either by fists, blunt objects, acid, or some combination of the three. Matt was returned to us a broken, worthless man, and we wanted each and every gang member we encountered to have a taste of what Matt felt before he took his own life. And we wanted the entire gang to see what we had done so we could send a message back to them: The suffering stops when Francisco Alvarado is in our custody.

Finally, the man that tried to kill me in prison, Jorge Campos, gave up his boss after we cut off his leg.

We captured Alvarado shortly after Campos ratted him out and, while we tortured him, we enlisted the help of a rival gang to wipe the crippled and disorganized Lobos off the map.

Alvarado was given the same treatment Matt got. However, he had the lucky fortune of dying before we could do everything on the list that he did to Matt.

After he died, I pulled a page out of Medieval England's playbook. When William Wallace, the great Scottish knight, was killed, the Brits cut up his body into pieces and sent them to every corner of Scotland as a warning to anyone that would dare cross them.

So, if you were a cartel or gang that we had our eyes on, you got a body part of Francisco Alvarado, along with a warning to cease operations, lest you suffer the same fate as Alvarado at the hands of Halcón Diablo, the nickname the Lobos had given me during my rampage.

I must have tortured and killed at least two-dozen Lobos members before they were wiped away. And I didn't even have the tiniest amount of regret about it at the time. That came later.

After we returned to the Anti-Cartel, we were arrested. However, Eduardo Munoz got us out and let us off with a 3 month suspension with pay, using the justification that we did destroy a gang that was causing us a lot of headaches. He also swept my torture methods under the rug, although Director Chase has apparently unearthed them since then.

After I returned to the field, I carried the Halcón Diablo moniker everywhere with me in Latin America. No one dared cross me.

What those gangbangers don't know is that I haven't gone back to that level of brutality. In fact, it still troubles me to this day what I did to those people, whether they had it coming or not. It also troubles me to recall how I had no sense that what I was doing was wrong. I was just hellbent on getting Matt the justice he deserved.

So, that, along with the murder of Mitch Hayes, is why Director Chase wants to throw the book at me. I'm not being charged with Hayes' murder because he was already officially declared dead when his double was found in the Torino rubble. But, she can charge me with my attack on Sark.

It's also because of those crimes and my current incarceration that, no matter what happens with my case, I am not returning to APO. I have seen and endured too much hardship and pain to have any desire to be an agent anymore. Sovogda, and my arrest afterwards, was my tipping point. I don't think Chase is going to give me much choice in the matter, but even if I did have a choice, I'm done.

Anyway, I felt it would be better to say everything in a letter, not just so I can organize my thoughts, but also so you can make an informed decision on whether you still want to marry me or not.

I failed you in Sovogda and I live with that regret every single day of my life. And now, you know why some people view me as a monster. I'm not that man anymore, and I live with that regret every day as well.

The main reason I wrote you this letter is so that, if we do get married, you'll know the man you're going to be with. You've come clean to me about your rough past, and the Matt Aguero story was the only thing I've withheld from you. If we go forward with our relationship, I don't want any more secrets between us. Secrets and lies have been a part of your life for far too long, and you don't deserve any more, especially from the man that you love and trust.

I also want you to understand just what you mean to me. Before my friend Matt was married, he told me how his fiancee was his salvation. Everything that he was melted away when he was with her, and Rachel filled him with so much happiness and joy in his life. Well, you have the same effect on me. You're the salvation that I've been seeking my whole life, and I cherish just the mere thought of you every second of my days.

I do realize, however, that you might want to break things off with me after you read this. I broke my promise to protect you and I realize that my actions after Matt Aguero's death might completely turn you off. I'm also going to be in prison for 10 years, in all likelihood, unless the video of the interrogation of Sark somehow gets uncorrupted and Sark himself changes his testimony between now and when my trial starts. I don't know how either can be done at this point.

But know this: I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss your humor. I miss your cooking. I miss your loving touch. I miss your perfume. I miss you wearing my old shirts. I just miss your love in general. My heart aches for you every single day.

In short, I just flat out miss you. And I love you. I love you so much. I always have loved you, and I will never stop loving you. I just hope you love me still. But if you don't, I understand.

Let Sydney know if you want to see me or not.

Tom Falk

Tom finishes reading over his letter and now, finally feels satisfied over what he wrote. He folds it up and puts it in his pocket with his picture of Nadia and lies down on the bed. As he stares at the ceiling, he hopes that Nadia still loves him after this...and that she finally puts Sloane out of her life for good.

Nadia's hospital room

Tom and Sydney sit next at Nadia's bedside, as they've done so many times in the past 10 months. Tom takes a deep sigh and says "I want you to have this..."

Tom pulls out the letter he wrote to Nadia and hands it to Sydney. "I want you to hold on to this and give it to Nadia when she is cured." Sydney looks at the bundle of paper and asks "What is it?"

Tom replies "It's a letter I wrote for her, and it's personal, so I'd appreciate if you didn't read it. When she's cured, don't come and get me right away. I want her to decide if she still wants to be in my life." Sydney looks confused. "Why wouldn't she?"

Tom looks back at Nadia and closes his eyes. "Because...it's complicated. Give her the letter, and let her decide if she wants me to see her or not." Sydney nods and puts the letter in her inside pocket in her coat.

As she does, Tom notices Sydney's stomach and smiles. "Looks like you're losing weight pretty quickly." Sydney smiles and says "Yeah, I've been trying to get rid of all this baby weight! I'm so out of shape, it's ridiculous!"

Tom laughs and says "Well, I'll get you on my prison workout plan!" Sydney quickly replies "Yeah, you're looking toner every time I see you!"

Tom smiles and says "People always told me I could afford to lose 10 to 15 pounds, so I did." Sydney smiles and says "Well, you look good."

Tom replies "Thanks. Speaking of looking good, how's Isabelle doing?" Sydney giggles a bit, then replies "She's just fine. She's a very sound sleeper at night, thank goodness. And everyone at work has been very helpful."

Tom nods and says "That's good, I can't wait to see her finally. Anyway, guess who I got to talk to the other day?" Sydney shrugs. "Who?"

Tom blankly replies "My mom." Sydney raises her eyebrows a bit. "Really? What all did she have to say?"

Tom shakes his head and says "It's because of her that I'm in prison. She worked out a deal with your mother to help her pursue The Horizon in exchange for 'helping me'. Well, her way of helping me was having Irina, through Gordon Dean, set me up to beat the holy shit out of Sark in order to get thrown into prison. She knew how I'd react when Sark antagonized me and exploited that." Sydney looks almost repulsed. "Why on earth would your mother do that to you?"

Tom replies "Well, apparently, she thought that I was doomed to be a drunk over what happened to Nadia. My father became a drunk after my mom died, and she thinks I take after him in that respect. So, she saw prison as a form of rehab for me, I guess. Oh, and apparently, she's become a Rambaldi apprentice herself, just like my ancestor Laurent L'Andre was. In fact, Rambaldi was the person I saw on the horse when I died and went to the afterlife." Sydney shakes her head in disbelief and says "It seems crazy that Rambaldi would still be influencing things from the grave."

Tom quickly replies "I know, but when I'm out of prison, I'm done with this prophecy shit. Ignorance will be bliss from now on. Oh, getting back to my mother, I also got confirmation that Sloane did want me killed. My mom saw the conversation he had with Jorge and said it was pretty obvious. Don't say anything to Nadia, let her read it for herself." Sydney replies "You wrote about that in the letter, I take it."

Tom nods. "Sloane committed genocide in Sovogda, and between that and all of the wretched shit he's done in his life, there's no way I'm going to let him walk free with the thing he wants most. He doesn't deserve it. I'm not saying I deserve Nadia either, but I just want her to be happy. And if she's happy with neither one of us in her life, so be it." Sydney gives Tom an understanding nod, but doesn't say anything.

Sydney then looks at her watch. "We have to get going." Tom nods and stands up and gives Nadia a kiss on the forehead. "I love you, beautiful. I always have, and I always will."

Then Tom follows Sydney out of the hospital room.

Federal Prison- two weeks later

Tom finds himself back in the private meeting room, a little confused over why he's there. Eduardo has already visited today, and he just went to the hospital with Sydney yesterday.

His pre-trial is two days away. From what Eduardo Munoz, his attorney, tells him, Director Chase is not budging off of the maximum 10 year sentence for Tom. However, his mom did say that he's not going to be there for all 10 years. He wonders how that could be...

His thoughts are interrupted by Sydney Bristow walking in to the meeting room holding a hanger with a polo shirt and khakis on it.

Tom looks at her funny. "What's all that?" Sydney replies as she sits down "You're going to put these on and come with me to the hospital." Tom, a little confused, says "We just went to the hospital yesterday..."

Then, Sydney cuts Tom off with a smile. "Nadia's been cured."

Tom gasps in shock. He was not expecting this at all. He then manages to force a smile on his face amidst his shock and says "She's...ok?" Sydney nods. "She's just fine, almost like nothing ever happened. Arvin Sloane came up with a cure for her."

Tom looks away and shakes his head. He whispers "He wasn't bluffing..." Sydney looks at him confused. "What are you talking about?"

Tom looks back at Sydney and shakes his head. "Nothing. Don't worry about it. Did you give her my letter?" Sydney nods again. "Yes, and she read it all."

Tom then leans forward quickly. "How did she react?" Sydney looks down. "She demanded that she see you immediately. She didn't say anything else."

Tom then asks "Was she upset?" Sydney stands up and hands Tom his clothes. "Come on, we have to go. Get dressed, I'll wait outside." Sydney then gets up and walks out of the room.

Tom notices Sydney dodged that question without answering. He immediately assumes she must have been upset.

The question is...what part of the letter was she upset about?

END OF CHAPTER