Chapter 26: Meant To Be

It took me an hour or so to walk to Bobby's house. The walk was long but nurturing. It gave me plenty of time to think. I was scared; not knowing why lay ahead churned my stomach. But once I saw the lights radiating out of the windows and knowing that Sam, the love of my life, was safely inside made me positive that I had done the right thing.

The stairs creaked as I walked up the three that led me to the porch. The porch also made squeaking noises as I walked up to the door. I stood there for a moment, not moving before the door. My wool sweater was wrapped around my body, held closed with one of my hands. My white dress blew with the breeze giving me goosebumps up and down my legs. Thank goodness for my boots, at least they provided some form of warmth for my cold toes.

As I was about to raise my hand to knock on the door it suddenly opened. The man who opened the door I presumed was Bobby. He was taller than me by just a few inches. He wore a faded plaid shirt, jeans, and a worn out ball cap. He looked tired and scruffy, his grey beard was messy and he looked tired, worn down. I tried to smile but it came out as a strained one.

"Well you here must be Jessica.' His voice was scratchy but soothing. I nodded my head because I couldn't trust myself to speak. Bobby opened the door wider and scooted aside, willing me to enter. 'Don't just stand there like an idjiit, girl. C'mon on."

I was ushered inside to the living room where Dean was sitting back on the couch drinking a cold bottled beer looking unfazed as I walked into the room. Castile stood beside Dean as the couch backed up into the staircase. Sam was leaning up against the fireplace mantle and when he looked up at me there was fear and love.

I locked eyes with him and it felt like heaven in the moments we looked at each other. I don't know if it's possible for me to describe everything that went on in that moment. I fell in love with Sam all over again. My heart swelled, the entire room disappeared, and any fear or doubts I had before evaporated into thin air. I needed nothing more than Sam.

He moved from leaning against the mantle to facing me completely. Silence filled the room and seeing him stand there, completely focused on me, it made me break down. Everything that had happened and the ideas of what was to happen finally hit me. As if I haven't cried enough within the past few days, I lost it there and then. Tears welled up in my eyes and then fell down my face as I began to sob.

My crying wasn't pretty. My body started shaking as I raised my hands to my face and cried into my palms. My knees gave out and I landed on the hard wood floor but I didn't move my hands from my face. I was down on the ground for less than five seconds before I was wrapped tightly in a deep warm hug. I didn't need to look up to know it was Sam holding me.

With my hands still pressed to my face Sam put one of his hands on the back of my head and held it to the crook of his neck, while the other arms was wrapped around my shoulders. My hair was loose from the braid but it didn't bother me while Sam stroked my head. He made hushing noises, soothing my tears. I felt warm wet drops on my neck which told me that Sam was crying too.

What felt like a year was only twenty minutes when I was calm enough to pull away from Sam's neck. I could feel the heat blush across my face which was red and blotchy from intense crying. I sniffled a little too and tucked the escaping hairs from my braid behind my ears but once again while once again I couldn't bring myself to look Sam in the eyes.

Lucky Sam. When he cried (if he ever did), he never got red and blotchy like me. He never made noises while he cried either. He was composed and clean with little tears trickling down his face. He sniffled a little too which made me look up at him because of the noise. I started to giggle as we made eye contact. He soon joined me in the giggling and we laughed for a few moments.

Once I calmed down I surveyed the room and noticed that we were alone. Sometime during my crying spree and our fit of giggles Castile, Dean, and Bobby had vacated the living room. I noticed out the window that there was a light coming from the large barn I had seen when I had first walked here.

"I guess we know how to clear a room." Sam too had noticed that the room was empty. We were still on our knees in them middle of the living room. When I looked him in the eyes again and my smile disappeared as he did the same. We stared at each other. We were so close, there was very little space between us. Timidly, almost too slowly, Sam reached over and cupped my face and kissed my lips. He was so sweet and tasted just as perfect as I remembered.

We pulled away very slowly and I looked deep into his eyes. Suddenly all the passion and lust I had felt for Sam, everything I had ever felt came rushing at me like train powering through on the tracks. I needed him then and now, and the look in his eyes told me he felt the same.

The next moment I felt Sam's lips come crashing down on mine. He kissed me with a hunger I hadn't ever felt. His touch wasn't sweet or tender, it was rushed, hard, and intense. Before, we had always been slow with each other, taking our time as were intimate. But this was raw intense need.

His lips were on mine, kissing me like I was the oxygen he needed in order to breathe. With one hand wrapped around my waist and the other gripping my face, we kissed passionately. His grip hurt but it was exactly what we both wanted.

Sam suddenly moved the hand from my face and moved it to under my knees, sweeping me up into his arms like a new bride. My hands wound around his neck and ran through his hair, kneading as he carried me through the living room and up the staircase all while kissing me.

When we reached the top of the stairs Sam carried me to the second room on the top stairs. The door was already open so all Sam had to do was kick the door shut after he carried me in. Normally, he would have laid me softly onto the bed, but he had no patience this time and neither did I. He dropped me onto the bed and I quickly moved remove my boots as he took off his own. I got to my knees when I was done and locked Sam in a tight kiss.

I tried to unbutton the top of his shirt but I fumbled and wasn't able to unbutton it. The hunger and need I had for Sam demanded his body then and now, so without a second thought I took each side of his collar and ripped it down the middle. Plastic buttons flew everywhere but the flannel shirt was free from his chiseled body.

Sam had always been more skilled than I and was able to unbutton my sweater without ruining the material. I saw a quick flash of Sam standing in front of me in just his jeans before he slid my dress up over my head, leaving me in just my bra and panties.

Once it was gone, I grabbed him and pulled him onto the bed on his back while I straddled him. I was not usually so dominant in bed but the need I had overtook me. I leaned down over him and kissed him throughly. His hands massaged my lower back and then one slid up to unclasp my soft white bra. Once it came off, Sam rolled us over so he was on top. As he kissed me and massaged my breasts, I unbuttoned his jeans and slid them off as far as my hands could reach, letting my feet slide them off all the way. His boxers came off with them and my panties followed.

I again rolled him over onto his back so his head was on the yellow pillow by the beds headboard. Taking no time at all and not bothering with a condom, I lowered myself onto him taking his entire length into my body. I almost lost it there and then. I was in ecstasy each moment we were together. We weren't gentle, not like we had always been before. It was primitive, rough, hard, and fast. Rather then cherish me, Sam finally put his muscles to use and used his strength to send me over the edge. I cried out multiple times but we still continued. I had always thought those muscles were just there for show, but now I knew he actually could use them.

I was in control for a few moments, riding on top of him before he flipped us over and began to thrust himself with such strength into me. Had it not been for the fact that I was in pure ecstasy I would have been too worried about him breaking me in half. Sam suddenly moved his hands up to my shoulder blades and pulled me up so I was sitting on his lap as he sat on the bed as well.

As our bodies moved together our friction created heaven for the both of us. I felt daring as we were moving hard and fast so I looked him straight in the eyes as he helped me lift my body up and down while my hands were wound around his neck. Staring into his eyes made the moment more intimate than any other I had ever expected. Our breath came in simultaneous deep breaths and we moved together creating rhythm that went beyond feeling incredible.

We were still staring deep into each others eyes when I finally reached my peak. I had orgasmed before when we had made love but this primitive raw need for one another sent me over the edge into the most sensational and intoxicating wave of sheer perfection. My entire body shook and I cried out, whimpering his name and relinquishing all power to him.

Coming down from my high, I saw Sam coming down from his as well. We both continued to look but our breaths became shallower and shallower. Though our breathing had gone from heavy to simply light panting, Sam didn't move me and I made no effort to slide off his lap. As we sat there, I finally made the move to lean in and kiss him. This time the primitive need was gone and what was left was sweet love and tenderness.

Minutes later, Sam and I were lying down on the bed. His was flat on his back and my head was laying on his chest and I was on my side. His arms were wrapped around on me. He kissed my forehead and we laid there in silence for a little while. I didn't want to be the first one to break the silence so I waited for Sam to say something, which only took him a few minutes.

"Baby, I love you." It was all he needed to say. Those were the only four words I wanted him to say.

"I love you." It felt so good to finally say it back after being with Sam for a few days. It was a natural response for me because it was all I felt. After that exchange we both started to doze off, tired from our earlier excursions. But Sam had more to say as we faded away into sleep.

"Jess...We gotta figure this out. We need a plan...I don't wanna lose you again."

"Sammy,' I moved my head to look up at him again even though his eyes were closed and sleep was starting to overtake him. I gently kissed his beautiful soft lips and then snuggled deeper into his chest while he pulled me tighter. 'Sleep baby. I got a plan." I was fading out into a deep sleep to dream, although I am positively certain no dream could have been better than the night I had just had with Sam, when his quiet voice came out as a whisper with a response.

"I can't lose you again, Jess. I love you too much to let you 're meant to be... I can't lose you." And with that, both Sam and I drifted off into a wonderful peaceful sleep.