Before You Know It

by Mikki Warner

AU Story! In this universe Invader Zim really is just a TV show. This is the story of how Invader Zim came to be, through Zim's life. Starting with his birth and carries on with family drama and humor as well as tragedy and precious moments. Pairings: ZIMxTak, RedxOC, TennxPurple, plus more. Rated: K-M

26. Sleep Needed

So it has been decided that I will be doing a YouTube channel. I'm not sure when my first video will be released, hopefully soon. But for now, enjoy the new chapter! There's weirdness in it!

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Purple pulled away from Tenn. "Y-you're what?" He asked, quietly. Leslie gasped from behind them. ZIM was oblivious.

"Peder!" Tenn was pushed out of Purple's grasp and was replaced by a short woman, squeezing him tightly. "You scared the Hell out of me! You're grounded, child! You hear me?"

"Mére, Tenn-" Purple squeaked when he felt a hard pinch delivered to his rear.

"You be quiet and let me squeeze the life out of you." Kaddie said. Her vice-like hug got tighter, restricting Purple's airways. He tried prying her off but she was going mama bear protective on him at the moment. Purple looked to Tenn for help. She just stood behind her mother-in-law, highly amused.

"Mum! Please!" Purple managed to get away. His mind was reeling. He was in disbelief. Purple slowly walked back over to Tenn. His face serious. "Is it true?" She beamed, nodding vigorously. Purple's breath caught in his throat. He tensed up, a wide bright smile spread across his features. He picked her up and kissed her. Tenn laughed and returned the sweet kiss. "I can't believe it. I'm gonna be a father." He whispered, happily. He set Tenn down but his embrace remained strong.

"I'm so glad you're happy. I didn't know how'd you'd take the news." Tenn put her hand behind his head and pulled him down for yet another kiss. Purple felt two more pairs of arms wrap around him. He looked behind him and saw ZIM and Leslie grinning broadly.

"Yous gonna be a dad-day." ZIM drawled.

"You gonna be a good dad-day. You." Leslie poked his face, mocking ZIM's voice. Purple rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to fill in for Red's dorkiness when he's out of commission."

"Yes I do." Leslie said. "You need a double shot of dorkiness everyday to be able to properly commute and function." Purple gave her a funny look. "Trust me. I'm a scientist."

August 13, 2001

Red tried in all his might to keep his eyes open for more than five seconds. But his body was exhausted and his brain kept telling him to sleep. The fact that Leslie was petting his antenna soothingly wasn't helping him keep awake either.

The doctors had prepped him for surgery and were now preparing the emergency room for the operation. Red was a little uneasy. The doctors described what they were going to do to him. He didn't like the thought of getting cut open, but the doctors apparently needed to make four incisions and then put bolts in his pelvic bones.

They informed him that his llium, pubis, and femur on the left side were all fractured and his hips would be in a weird, metal, splint-like thing to hold it. Then after awhile they'd take the bolts and rods out of him and put a cast on. Red wouldn't be able to move his entire lower half with the cast they had for him. He didn't know how he was going to move around.

"We're ready for you, Mr. Macale." A doctor told him. "Are you ready?" She asked. Red shook his head.

"Nuh. In a lil bit. Give me a moment." Red gazed at Leslie with big, glossy eyes. "I don't think I'll be giving you another child in a long while." Leslie chuckled.

"I'm not worried about another child right now, Red." Leslie put her hand on his cheek. "You just focus on yourself, okay? Get healed, recoup, and then we'll think about that."

"Sounds good." Red said. Leslie kissed his lips.

"Sleep well."

Later

"Remember when ZIM told Red that I was dating you and he attacked me? What if he- Wait, he won't be able to. But what if he mentally murders me when we tell him?"

"He's high off aesthetics, Pur. He's a babbling moron right now." Tenn reassured him. "Come on. I'll tell him, you have to at least stand by me." Tenn took his hand, opening the door of the room Red would be staying for awhile. Red was resting now after his long surgery. He was now completely undressed. His lower half covered in a blanket and his legs positioned in such a way so the bones would start to heal in the right spot. The blanket draped over his nether region bulged in some areas where the metal contraption was sticking out of his body.

"Frieeenndsss." Red drawled, childishly. His left arm was taped against his body and his head now had stitches. A big bandaged covered the stitches. "Now it's a party!" Leslie at his side giggled at his giddiness. Sapphira was in her arms. "Les, get the booze."

"Honey, Tenn has something to say." Leslie told him. Red nodded.

"Yes, Tenn, darling. What is it?" Red gave her a look of interest. Tenn smiled at her elder brother and how completely kiddish he looked.

"Well . . . I'm just gonna come out and say it." Tenn beamed. "I'm pregnant." Red didn't say anything. He just stared. A long silence drifted amongst them.

". . . So am I." Red finally said as if Tenn were challenging him.

"No. No, Red, you're not pregnant this time." Leslie said.

"Uh huh. We did that one thing that one night and now this." He slurred. "I'm a biologist. You can't prove me wrong." Tenn and Purple shared a glance.

"Maybe we should tell him when he's not high." Purple said.

"That would be a better idea. Yeah." Tenn sat by her brother. "How are you feeling, Red?"

"I feel amazing! Like a cloud floating in the sky." Red lifted his right arm and pointed upward. "Up dere, in da sky." He let his arm drop, slowly turning his head to his wife. "I fucking love you." He muttered.

"I love you too, baby." Red shifted his back. He was too numb to feel any pain from moving.

"I need to get up and help them." He said. Leslie placed her hand on his chest, keeping it there so he wouldn't try anything. "No! I need to help!"

"No, babe, you need to stay put. You need to rest."

"But I sleeped all day!" Red whined. Leslie shook her head, caressing him where her hand was over his chest.

"I'm talking to a four year old." She mumbled. "You guys want a boy or girl?" Tenn shrugged.

"We don't get to choose. Not that it matters anyway. We're gonna love him or her either way." She said. "But what about you? I remember when you talked to that psychic, she told you you'd only have daughters. Does that upset you you're not getting a son?"

"I can't know. She might have been wrong for all we know. And besides, I wouldn't mind having all daughters. And vice versa. I'm assuming you didn't plan this child." They shook their heads. "I was gonna say, it's awfully quick that you'd do something like this only a couple months into your marriage. Especially for you Irkens." Leslie said. "Are you guys thinking about names?"

"Yeah. Pedro." Purple said, looking dead serious though his voice had an obvious joking ring to it. Tenn wrinkled her 'nose'.

"No. We're not. I'm not birthing a Mexican baby. I told you that it is impossible." Tenn told him.

"It's not impossible to love tacos," Purple gasped slightly. "We should name him Paco! Even if it's a girl! She can have the same name!"

"No! No Mexican names!"

"Paco the Taco!"

"Peder, get real."

"Hey honey, what are we having for supper? Paco Tacos!"

"You're fricken retarded, my love. Irkens don't have Mexican names, I'm sorry. It sounds weird. You don't see white boys with the name of Juan, do you? Besides, didn't we already come up with a name for him if it just so happen to be a boy?"

"Oo! What is it?" Leslie asked.

"Can't tell you. You'll have to wait. We won't tell you the girl name until after the birth too. Everything will be a total surprise." Tenn said. ZIM walked through the door. His four friends were following him.

"You're pregnant?" ZIM asked.

"Honey, you were in the room while I announced it!" Tenn pointed out.

"No. I wasn't mentally in the room! You should have told me!"

"I did! You even acknowledged it!" Tenn insisted. "God, Zeiden. You need to get your brain checked."

"So that means you're gonna get fat soon." Timmy said. "And you won't be as hot anymore." ZIM punched his friends arm hard.

"Mate, shut the hell up." ZIM fumed. "Keep talking that way about her and I'll scoop your eyes out."

"ZIM, no need to get violent." Purple scolded, walking to the boys. As he passed Timmy he subtly bopped the boy on the head. "Tenn can defend herself."

"You say as you hit Timmy." ZIM crossed his arms. "How's your shoulder?"

"The doctors gave me medications. I'm good for now."

"Zei-Zei! When did you get here?" Red sat straight up in bed from his leaning back position. Leslie hurriedly pushed him back so he wouldn't screw up his hip.

"I've been here for awhile. I got here at eleven AM this morning." ZIM took his niece from Leslie's hands. "I'm taking this. I need a cuddle buddy." ZIM sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. He snuggled Sapphira into his body. "She's gonna grow up to be just like me. When are you making another one?" He asked Leslie.

"Depends on when Red gets better." Leslie said.

"Well we're having a smeet." Tenn reminded him.

"Right! We need smeets. Saph isn't gonna be a few months old forever. Keep them coming guys. You're doing great. Go team." ZIM stood. He made his way to Red's bedside. "You get better so your body is ready to birth again."

"I am pregnant." Red said.

"You are?" ZIM asked, excitedly.

"No! No he's not. He just keeps saying that because Lord knows why." Leslie exclaimed.

"Aww! Come on!" ZIM stomped his foot. "Make it so he is."

"Eventually." Leslie hissed. "We shouldn't be talking about this in front of your friends. They don't get Irken anatomy."

"It's so disturbing. I mean," Chester looked at Red then to Sapphira. "Where did she come out of him? It makes no sense!"

"Vaaaaginaaaa." Red giggled, sitting up again.

"Red, stop moving, you fool." Leslie hissed.

"Never." Red said, defiantly. He shifted more to spite her. Leslie grabbed his arm and shoved him forcefully into the bed.

"Lay. Back." She ordered through gritted teeth.

"Bitch."

"What'd you call me?"

"I love you." Leslie groaned.

"This is gonna take a lot of patience, guys." Leslie told the company.

"I had a dream!" Red spoke up, trying to sit up again. "I-I . . . I was, umm. I was lifting weights and I'm pregnant, so lifting weights is a bad idea. And as I was straining to lift this particularly heavy weight, it was like, God, shit it was like four pounds or something insane like that. As I was lifting, I felt the head of the smeet start to come out. So as I kept one hand on the weight, I used the other one to push the smeet back in and I told her, I told that naughty smeet that she wasn't due yet and she had to go back inside and think about what she has done!" Red slurred. "I felt her kick my uterus. I think she was mad. Ya know, a psychologist by the name of Sigmund Freud once said that dreams are manifestations of our hopes, desires, anxieties, etcetera. I think my dream was symbolic. So I think as a family we should do a little dream interpretation because psychoanalysis is fun. What does my dream mean?" Those in the room stared at Red. A long silence lingered in the room. Purple finally broke the silence.

". . . Dude . . . It means you're fucked in the head."

August 14, 2001

"I can't believe this. They flocked here all the way from Irk to get this lame story." Red shook his head disapprovingly, looking out the window of his room from his hospital bed. Irken reporters scattered around the outside of the hospital trying with all their might to get in and get an interview and all the details about the Macale brother's disappearance and condition. "We should just tell them so they'll leave."

"We don't need you stressed with the paparazzi though, Hun. You know how they are, they twist your words so the story is only ten percent true."

"I'll be stressed out if I'm conscious of the fact that they're just outside this building waiting for me."

"Then I'll take care of them." Leslie looked up as Tenn entered the room again.

"He's awake now?" Tenn asked, excitedly. Leslie grinned.

"Yeah. Now he'll be able to process the news." Tenn beamed. She looked behind her and called to someone down the hall.

"Peder! C'mere! Red's finally in his right mind." Tenn approached the side of her brother's bed. Red laid back keeping a suspicious eye on his little sister.

"What sort of news did you bring me?"

"Good kind of news." Purple said, also entering the room. Red perked his antenna to let them know he was listening.

"Well, Red," Tenn started. "I don't know how to say this." She thought for a moment. "Peder and I . . . we . . . God." Tenn's gaze traveled to Sapphira sleeping beside Red. "Okay! Starting again. Lets just say Sapphira will be getting a cousin." Red's eyes went wider than dinner plates.

"Say what?" He said in awe, jaw dropped. He pointed to Tenn then to Purple. "You or are you carrying-"

"I'm not capable of bearing, mate. You know that. Tenn is pregnant." Purple stated finally. Red closed his mouth in a tiny pout. Glossy, crimson eyes fixated on Tenn.

"But you're too young." Red said.

"Bro, I'm twenty-five."

"That means you're two and a half in Irken standards!"

"Then that would mean you had a child at three Irk years." Tenn said. Red smirked.

"Ya got me there. Come here." He held out an arm to embrace her. Tenn wrapped her arms around his neck for a warm hug. Purple smiled at the two siblings until he saw Red mouth to him from his hug with Tenn,

'I'm going to fucking kill you.'

August 17, 2001

"Crutches are out of the question. His arm is still healing from its dislocation. Then that'd mean he couldn't use a wheel chair either because of the arm thing. So what do we have to do to get him mobile?"

"He shouldn't move unless he absolutely has to. His leg is in a stable enough condition with the rods and bolts. He can walk, or limp rather. Just as long as he doesn't go for long distances. Otherwise, he needs to be laying." Red looked down at his legs as his wife and doctor chatted. His left leg and hip was encased in a tight blue cast. The cast wrapped around his hips and went all the way down to his mid-thigh so he could bend his knee. He'd probably look very awkward walking. Before the doctors put his cast on, he got a good look at his fracture. His entire lower half looked as if he was dipped in iodine. All of his hip and leg were bruised. "Let's see if he can muster enough strength to stand." Red looked up to the two women. The doctor held out a hand as did Leslie. He took them both and used his upper body strength to hoist himself up. He strained to get on his two legs. He put all his weight in his right leg once he was up. Leslie held on to him so he wouldn't loose his balance.

"Can you walk, babe?" His wife asked. Red shrugged. He hasn't walked in days. He took a step forward with his left leg. He then quickly stepped again with his right to avoid pain. It didn't matter how quickly he transitioned between his two feet. It still hurt like hell.

"Ahh! Fuck me!" Red cursed, stopping. He glanced at Leslie with a sly grin. "Gently though. I'm fragile right now." Leslie pursed her lips, scowling. She raised her hand to whap him upside the head but then remembered that he was concussed as well.

"Would you watch your mouth?"

"Would you watch it for me? If it misbehaves I'll let you punish me." Red gave her a toothy smile. Leslie looked unamused. "This is fun. I can get away with saying these things."

"Yeah for now. But when you're all healed, you'll have hell to pay."

"I'll go get you your discharge forms." The doctor said, leaving them alone in the room that Red has been confined to for the past few days. When the doctor left, ZIM entered holding his niece, Purple following him on his phone speaking in French to his dad.

"You're on your feet!" ZIM gasped, happily.

"It's painful." Red grunted. Leslie brought him back to the edge of the bed.

"Sit for now then." Leslie turned when she heard Purple start yelling about who knows what. It wasn't an angry kind of yell however. It was more or less excited and giddy.

"Au sérieux! Oui! . . . Non, ils n'ont pas! . . . Aucune façon!"

"He sounds like a girl talking to her crush." Red pointed out.

"What's he saying?" Leslie asked.

"Don't ask me. ZIM is the one who took lessons from him."

"He keeps saying, No way! Seriously? No!" ZIM told them. "Me thinks it's hockey related."

"Pére, vous rendez-vous compte de ce que cela signifie? . . . Oui!"

"He's really excited." Purple continued to ramble until his voice suddenly saddened immensely.

"Wait a minute . . . Envahisseur ZIM! Pére, what if it doesn't work?"

"Now he's sad."

"Peder, get off the phone and talk to us." Red said. Purple glanced at him.

"Je vais vous parler plus tard. You'll be coming to LA? With uncle Sizz? . . . I can speak English if I want to! . . . Vous voir dans quelques jours. Bon Voyage." Kaddie walked up from behind Purple.

"You know better than to speak fluent English at you father."

"Does your dad not speak English?" Leslie asked. "Could've sworn I heard him speak it just fine."

"He hates the language." Purple stated. "Dad told me the NHL drafted me!" Purple squeaked. His mother beamed, gasping.

"Oh honey! Fantastique!" She clasped both his cheeks in her hands, kissing him in between the eyes. "Look at my fils! In the NHL! Baby, this is great! Do you know what this means?" Purple looked down at his mother, her hands still on his face.

". . . It means . . . That I'll be the first alien to play in an all human sport?"

"Yes!" Kaddie squealed, bouncing slightly. "What team? Is it the Montréal Canadiens?"

"What if I told you it was Toronto?"

". . . I'd disown you, child." Purple snickered at his mother's remark.

"No, no. The Canadiens did pick me up." His mom clapped.

"Oh honey! This is perfect! When are you starting?"

"They want me back home in a month for the first few practices. I don't know if I'll have time for the Iditarod. Or teaching . . . Or anything else for that matter." Kaddie's mouth curved down.

"Babe, don't worry about the race then. You almost died last time." Purple rolled his eyes. "Besides, don't you want to be home with your wife instead of gone for a week or two?" Purple stared blankly at his mom.

". . . No."

"Well, I think that's just peachy, Pur! I'm proud of you, kiddo!" ZIM chirped. "You should totally beat the Red Wings . . . I just want you to know though, if you ever do face the Red Wings, which you will, I'm going to be rooting for them. Just saying."

"Mmhmm. Next time you have a hockey match I'll be cheering for the other team too, just to spite you."

"But you're my coach."

"And so?"

"And so my teammates will hate you."

"I care not."

"But thou shalt care, for thy team will through pucks at thy unworthy head."

"Eleventh commandment. 'If thy name be Zeiden, thou shalt shut the fuck up', says the LORD our God."

"Twelfth commandment! 'Those who art unholy shalt not speakth for the LORD, our God, for the LORD shalt be stricken with anger and wilt send a bolt of white hot lightening from the heavens to striketh the one who breaks his twelfth commandment'. In other words, he'll fry yo ass, bitch."

"Thirteenth commandment. 'Making up new commandments is sacrilege'." Red butted in. ZIM and Purple scowled at him.

"We're sorry. We couldn't take that commandment seriously. King James speech or bust, you hypocrite." Purple said.

"Yeah. You suck." ZIM added.

"Beside the point, you two. You guys are gonna have to help me to the truck." Red told them as the doctor reentered with the discharge papers.

"Alright, Macale. You are free to go. Yield all my precautions and post surgery information. Keep that leg elevated. And don't get that cast wet. Do. Not. Walk. That much. Got me?" Red nodded. "Good. Have a nice day, folks." Purple helped Red stand again. The only thing Red could wear for the next few weeks was robes and extremely loose pants that could be worn over the thin but sturdy cast. Purple helped Red put on his leather CAT boots.

"We'll see how long it'll take until you can switch to a brace, babe." Leslie said, slowly leading him out to the truck. She opened the passenger door, Purple helped him in.

"I'm gonna feel so useless." Red groaned, clicking his seatbelt.

"Well, you will be useless. But you have a good reason." Leslie got in on the drivers side. "We'll meet you guys at home." She told Purple, ZIM, and Kaddie. Leslie started up the truck and drove out of the parking, heading home to the ranch. "Sooo . . . I don't know how to tell you this but . . . Adelaide is still at the ranch and she's kind of in a freaky frenzy. Nana wouldn't let her go to the hospital to visit you again after her first visit because she knew it'd irk you." Red bowed his head, sighing.

"Damn. Just what I need. My stalker still isn't gonna leave me alone until I'm back to health. Even after she told me she'd give me some space."

"I don't think she ever said that." Leslie said. "Don't worry about her, darling. I'll take care of her."

"Just tell her I died." Leslie scoffed. "No seriously! Look at me." Leslie turned her head. "Now show me your best fake crying ever."

"I'm not an actress, Hun."

"Just try it!"

"No."

"C'mon!" Leslie huffed. A moment of silence passed before Leslie started to wail.

"Oh, Adelaide! It was tragic! The doctors did everything they could!" Leslie sobbed in an over-the-top fashion, great sarcasm dripped from her mouth. "He went into cardiac arrest right before his discharge! His heart couldn't handle it anymore! Oh woe is me, widowed at only 36! I'll never marry again!" She went back to normal as quickly as she went into an unconvincing acting façade. Leslie looked to her husband. His face was unreadable with his mouth agape ever so slightly.

"Yeeeaaaaaahhhhh . . . That should do it."

August 20, 2001

"I'm so ready to get back into the routine of things." ZIM muttered, looking out the window of their truck. They were now cruising back to their home in Santa Monica after a long absence.

"We better hope those twins didn't destroy our house." Red said.

"What would it matter? We're moving in a bit to the hills." Purple told him. Red didn't answer.

"I don't trust them." He hissed, mostly to himself. Purple pulled into their driveway of their large, luxury home. Leslie got out from the back and opened the door for her husband. Red slid out with the help of both his brothers. Together they walked up the path as another car with Tak, Zee, Tenn, Gaz, and Sapphira pulled into the driveway. As they approached the front door they stopped mid step to the Lombax twins barreling out of the house and standing in front of them with wide, nervous, smiles on their faces.

"Heeeyyyy you guuuyyysss." Rhea said.

"How's it going- . . . Oh. My. God. What happened to you?" Sira asked, looking at Red, horrified at his current state.

"Nothing special. Almost had a near death experience. Ya know how it is." The twins shared a glance.

"Dude, we're screwed." Sira said. Leslie quirked a brow.

"Why?"

"Well . . . You see . . ." Rhea began. She searched for words she could say to them to explain but nothing would come out. "Okay. Screw it. We're gonna go get you a fifteen hundred dollar check for the damages." Rhea said handing a slip of paper to Leslie. And like lightening, the Lombax twins were off in a flash, running down the street yelling at each other.

"We need to apply for a freaking loan from the bank now!"

"God! We're so stupid!"

"It's even worse now that they're home!"

"And he's injured, for Christ's sake! How were we supposed to know?" The Irkens and few humans gawked at the display. No one said anything. No one moved. They just stared.

"My intuition is telling me that's not particularly good news." ZIM finally said. Leslie looked down at the slip of paper and read it. Her face looked grim.

"Everyone, wait here." Leslie said, marching up to the beach home. She flung open the door and stood right in the doorframe. She made no facial expression. Her emotions were unreadable. She stood and observed. A minute passed and she closed the door again and walked back to her family. "We're gonna stay in a hotel for the night."

The Next Day

"Told you the party was a bad idea."

"Shut up! At the time you thought it was a good idea. Hypocrite."

"Okay! Okay! Well we now both realize how dumb we were." The twin Lombax girls were sporting brooms and mops cleaning up the trashed home of the Macales. ZIM walked through the foyer to talk to them.

"Did Avalyn have any part in trashing this place? Red wants to know so he can determine whether he wants to bring her back or not."

"No, no. Avalyn is well behaved. She knows better." Sira told ZIM. Silence lingered in the room. The twins cleaning up the huge mess they and their friends had made over the week. "What happened to Red? No one bothered to tell us yet."

"Cuz they're slightly angry with you two."

"I gathered that."

"Especially from Leslie." Rhea added. "She makes it well known when she's upset with someone . . . She's kind of scary."

"Mama bear mode is activated for her at the moment. The very last thing Red needed when coming home was a pigsty." ZIM looked at the damaged floor of where something heavy toppled over and broke. "As for how he sustained his injuries, we got lost in the Outback for a few days. Pur, Red, my friends and I. We ran out of gas in our papa's truck so we were legging it to the nearest town. Well along the way a huge ravine blocked our path and going around it would've taken days. So we were gonna cross it. Long story short, going up the other side, A.J. I think stepped on Red or kicked him, something like that, making him loose his grip and fall over six meters down to the rock ground below." The twins cringed.

"Sounds like an awful time." Rhea muttered. "I feel horrible now. Is Red mad?"

"Leslie told him not to worry about the mess and damages. He doesn't need the anxiety."

"When are you moving out of this house?"

"This month, I believe." ZIM sat on the granite countertop in the kitchen.

"Then I don't even get why we have to clean this place."

"It's a rental. Landlord will want it back clean." ZIM said.

"So . . . How are you, Zeiden? How ya feelin'?" Sira asked to spike up conversation.

"I'm doing . . . meh."

"Meh?"

"Yeah, meh." ZIM repeated.

"So not great but not bad either?" Rhea questioned.

"Precisely." ZIM scratched his rear. "I'm writing a new song for Tak."

"Oo! Can we hear it?" Rhea asked.

"Noooo. Not yet. You have to wait. I don't even let my siblings get a sneak peak." ZIM told them. "Tenn is starting band camp soon with her high school kids. She said her theme this year is Cowboys and Aliens. Cattle hands and extraterrestrials, crazy mix but there's been a few movies about the two already."

"That does sound like fun." Sira said. "Zeiden, what time do you have to be at school?" ZIM looked at the stove clock.

"Five minutes ago. I'm gonna be late . . . Oh wait. I am late."

"Then you better get your butt moving."

"Nah. I got time."

"But don't you make the morning Nickelodeon announcements?" ZIM didn't say anything. He stared off into space, fiddling with his fingers. A moment passed before ZIM jumped off the counter and darted out of the house. The sound of a truck's engine starting and squealing tires out of the driveway indicated that ZIM actually did care about being on time for certain things.

Half an hour later, ZIM pulled into the parking lot of the studio. He raced to the entrance ignoring the 'good morning's and 'where have you been's from fellow stars. He ran to the main office door and saw Spongebob just about to pick up the receiver to make the nine am announcements. ZIM dove for the phone and snatched it from the sponge's hand. ZIM heard a startled gasp from Spongebob as he pressed the intercom button.

"Goooood morning, Nick Studio! I'm Zeiden Macale, back from my unintentionally long vacation, here to recite your morning news!" ZIM took the sheet from Spongebob's grasp, his Aussie accent chiming into the phone as he overlooked it. "So I'm gonna just get one question of yours out of the way right now. Where the hell were Timmy, A.J., Chester, Dib, and I. Long story short, we got lost in the wilderness. But now we're not! So it's okay. First things first, Nickelodeon Academy students, we will not be having seminar today. We will be having a short meeting inside soundstage five at 1:30 sharp before your individual filming sessions. Secondly, band practice at five tonight. Meet in soundstage one with your instruments and sheet music, Mr. Tentacles is going to have solo auditions for the upcoming concert. Lunch today is Italia's finest cuisines. Every sort of pasta you can think of . . . Or not. Probably not. It's more than likely just Spaghetti-O's from a can . . . I do believe that is it for your morning announcements. Spongebob will be back tomorrow to deliver them. Made in Australia, Zeiden Izac Macale Junior wishing you a very merry Monday morning!" ZIM promptly hung up the phone and slowly turned to Spongebob with a mischievous grin on his face. "G'day, mate." Spongebob gave him a funny look.

"Where. Have. You. Been?"

"I answered that on the announcements!"

"I know but, how, where, what happened?"

"My nana's ranch is having a cattle epidemic, so we had to help her. This took place in Australia. We got stranded in the Outback when our papa's truck ran outta gas and we didn't bring an extra gas can." The yellow sponge nodded silently looking over to the office doors. He gasped once more when he saw Red enter the office limping, weakly.

"Red! You're supposed to be home!" ZIM said. Red smirked pointing to his leg encased in a grey brace of some sort. The splint replacing the cast which made Red slightly more mobile.

"I had an Irken doctor customize me a splint for pelvic fractures made for walking around. I can walk and this splint thingy will take all my weight so my bones can heal."

"Does Leslie know you're here?" Red's smile faded a tad.

"No." He said, simply leaving the office again to go to his class with Purple.

"She's not gonna like that." ZIM muttered.

"What happened to him?" Spongebob asked.

"I believe there will be an announcement for that too soon. I gotta get going to my class! Ciao!" ZIM bolted from the office down the halls of the studio. He eventually caught up with his brothers walking side-by-side. "So what's today's lesson?" ZIM asked.

"We didn't really prepare one." Purple said. "We're winging it."

"I'm not gonna do anything." Red shrugged. He looked excruciatingly tired. Anyone could see the exhaustion in his eyes. "I'm gonna be in some deep shit when we get home though. I left before Les woke up. She's gonna be pissed to see me not there resting."

"Can't blame her. Bed rest, no activities, doctors orders." Purple scolded Red. "You really, really shouldn't be here. I'd go home before the Misses wakes up."

"Leslie is already awake. I can guarantee it. She's a huge morning person. Always waking up at five or six am. Then she'd wake me up because she wants me to look at the sunrise or snuggle. I don't wanna snuggle at five am. I wanna sleep. My whole childhood consisted of waking up at the crack of dawn to do chores then go to school. Red doesn't like mornings. That's why he sleeps in till noon every chance he gets." Red rubbed his hip sorely as he spoke.

"Red is just becoming lazy." ZIM mumbled to Purple.

"Red is a wussy, city boy now." Purple chuckled. Red heaved over dramatically.

"Why. I. Never! How dare you, sir! How. Dare. You." Red hissed, darkly, walking, or rather limping, slightly faster in front of them, casting a glaring stare back at them. It was clear he was truly insulted by the 'city boy' comment and he wasn't gonna take it lightly. Soon the three of them reached their destination. As they entered the soundstage they were shocked to see Kaddie in front of class talking to them about her job as a military front lines doctor. The students were listening intently to her action-packed stories. When they came into the room the class turned their heads to them.

"Mére?" Kaddie beamed at her son.

"Peder, you got such a well behaved class. I hope you're treating them well."

"What are you doing here?" Purple walked to his shared desk with Red, setting down his travel mug of coffee and some papers among other things.

"I was coming to the studio for a visit but when I got to your classroom you were late. So I entertained your students till you got here. I already gave them a mini French lesson." She turned to the students sitting at their desks. "Bonjour! Comment allez-vous?"

"Bien, merci!" The children replied.

"Yeah, yeah. Impressive. You can teach monkeys to speak. Good for you. Can you go now?" Kaddie feigned hurt.

"My fils doesn't want me here?"

"Wait! Mr. Kinley! That's your mom?" One student asked from the back of the room. Kaddie stepped up and answered for Purple.

"Yes. He's my bébe. My second favorite son."

"I'm you're only son."

"So what does that tell you?"

"That you can't count?" Kaddie scowled and pinched her son's leg.

"It means you're definitely not my favorite." Kaddie growled at him. She turned back to the class, grinning as Purple rubbed his sore leg where she had pinched. "I'm only kidding! This young man right here is one of the best things I've ever made! Right below my first batch of brownies I ever baked." Purple rolled his eyes. His mother practically attacked him in a hug just to embarrass him further in front of his students. "Those brownies were so sweet and yummy. Unfortunately they didn't last as long as Peder did."

"ZIM get to your correct class." Purple told his little brother.

"No way, mate. I wanna stay here and listen to mama Kaddie."

"Zeiden-"

"Oh! Let the boy stay! Get that squid away from your genitals and lighten up." Kaddie pushed her son away from her embrace. Purple's jaw dropped. The class roared with laughter at Kaddie's diction.

"Wha- . . . What? What are you implying? Why aren't you leaving?" Kaddie ignored her son's questions.

"Rouge, darling, why aren't you home?"

"I decided I'd be really bored if I stayed home. My wifewon't let me do anything."

"And do you know why?" Red didn't answer. "Because you're injured, dumbass! Peder, sweetie, I'm gonna bring this imbécile home. I'll leave you be . . . for now." Purple groaned.

"Just leave, mum." Kaddie nudged him hard in the gut as she walked by him.

"Come on, Monsieur Rouge."

"No, no. I'm already here. Going home now would be a waste."

"That wasn't an option."

"I'm staying here. Thanks for your concern, though."

"Red Macale, disobey me one more time and I'll bend you over your desk and whip you right here in front of the whole class!" Kaddie snapped. Red looked at her silently then shifted his gaze to Purple.

"She's not kidding. She really will." Purple whispered to him.

"Your ass ain't what's broke so there's nothing stopping me, young man." Red still didn't move from his spot. He thought she was bluffing until she took an offensive step toward him. He stood, walking to her, head down in submission and embarrassment that he was so easily moved by a woman just barely over five feet tall. Kaddie smiled, satisfied. "I'll see you at home, Peder. You too, Zei-Zei." She pinched ZIM's cheek. Once she was gone with Red, Purple groaned loudly.

"Oh. My. God! What is wrong with her?" Purple looked at ZIM. "Seriously though. Why was she here?"

Later

ZIM's eyes kept drooping as he tried to stay awake in Crocker's math class. He was rambling about something or other relating to their chapter test coming up tomorrow. ZIM did a quick scan around the room. He was the youngest in the class as far as he was concerned. He also found out that he was going to be the only one graduating in 2005. All the other years had at least nine students. But when O-Five comes around, ZIM is all on his lonesome. He'd have to walk alone, throw his cap alone, and since he was the only one in his class, he'd have to make a speech because he was also the valedictorian and class president. As well as the student with the highest GPA in his class, and best attendance record, and he'd win everything on the student mock election ballads too because again, He. Was. Alone.

Not that it bothered him much. At least he had no competition for best GPA, even if it was only two point O. He and everyone else knew that he definitely wasn't the smartest kid in the academy. They had an honors roll and the only Irken listed on there was Tak. Granted, there were only two Irkens attending the academy.

"Zeiden!" ZIM jumped at the shout coming from Crocker. "Answer, what is it?"

"Uhh . . . Infinity?" ZIM slumped back in his seat. "Mate, I dunno. What was the question?" Crocker sighed.

"Zeiden, you are in no position to be day dreaming. You're not doing so well in school at the moment-"

"You have to point that out in front of my peers. Good on ya, mate." ZIM crossed his arms across his chest, peeved. Crocker just shook his head, looking at his watch.

"You have that assembly now. Go meet inside soundstage five and the Nickelodeon Academy Reps would like to speak with you guys." The children all stood and filed out of the room. ZIM met up with Tak, grabbing her hand to hold as they walked.

"Know what the meeting's about?" ZIM asked.

"Not sure . . . Did Crocker embarrass you back there? I think what he said was totally rude."

"We can't control his mouth. I'll just deal."

"But still." Tak murmured. They finally reached their destination. The whole student body was there, sitting in desks. The two Irkens found seats next to each other and waited. The teachers all gathered up front by the actual stage. After awhile, a man and woman got on stage. It was the two bright minds who came up with the idea of an in-studio school.

"Welcome students! We are Mr. and Mrs. Smith, you principles. How's the first month of school going?" The man asked, cheerfully. A few students meekly applauded their response.

"It doesn't sound like you guys are having a really great time. But that's okay! Because we have a way to make your time here better! Starting this fall, we will be beginning school sports! We'll be playing other schools like an average academy-"

"Can we get rid of these school uniforms!" A student shouted, randomly. Mr. and Mrs. Smith gave the boy an inquiring look.

"Ehh . . . No. Anyways! We need an official mascot and school colors if we're going to participate in any sports, so here's where you guys come in! You guys can vote on our mascot and colors! But first, I'm just gonna give you guys a heads up. After today, we will not be calling this Nickelodeon Academy. We've decided to give the Academy an official name, we'll be taking a vote between one of two names. Saugatuck Bay Academy. Or there's Sunset Academy."

"That's lame."

"ZIM, do you always need to add your input?" The man asked.

"No, but I will anyway. I'm an overachiever like that." ZIM said. "But Sunset sounds better in this context, plus you won't be stealing from the city called Saugatuck in Western M.I." The two adults on stage rolled their eyes. The rest of the students nodded in agreement.

"Okay. It's settled, we need to find out mascot. We need three suggestions, then we'll vote. Alright, we'll start with mascot." ZIM was first to speak, as he always was, jumping up with his thought of a school mascot.

"Oh my God! We gotta be the Timber Wolves! I love wolves! Have you ever heard of a wolamute? That's a Timber Wolf, Alaskan Malamute mix!" ZIM looked around. "Is there any Timber Wolves in California?"

"No. Unless you're talking about captive wolves. ZIM sit down. You get too excited." Purple answered from the front.

"Oh! What about Phoenix's?" ZIM asked.

"Yeah, there's not one of those around . . . Like, anywhere." Purple said.

"I wasn't asking about where they are. I think a Phoenix would be a neat mascot."

"Alright. We have one suggestion. Anyone else?" Mrs. Smith asked.

"Falcons!" Some other shouted.

"No way, dude! Those are way overused." Replied another.

"We got two. We need one more." The woman said.

"Bulldogs!"

"Burbank High School's mascot is the Bulldogs!"

"How about Sheep?" The kids went silent at the lame option by some cousin of the Rocket's.

"Okay! We got three then! Now let's vote. Show of hands. Sheep." Out of the hundred odd kids, one-fourth raised their hands, for reasons unknown. "Falcons?" Approximately thirty that time. "ZIM did you wanna use Timber Wolves or Phoenix?"

"Phoenix."

"Okay, Phoenix." The rest raised their hands. "Well by fifteen hands it seems as though the Phoenix's have won. ZIM! It was your suggestion. What colors do you recommend?"

"Red, gold, and black."

"Yeah. That seems like the only fitting color scheme." Dib agreed with ZIM.

"Then so be it. Any objections?" No one spoke up. "Alright then! The student body as a whole will be referred to as the . . .?" The woman stopped, implying ZIM had to answer again.

"Victors? Cuz like . . . that's all I can think of. I kind if stole it from Victory Avenue."

"Perfect! I'm loving it!" Mrs. Smith clapped. "We will now develop a student senate. We need a President, Vice President, Secretary, Treasurer, Head Representative, and the Representatives themselves. There will be voting ballad on your peers tomorrow. Only high schoolers and up will be on the ballad, middle schoolers and elementary schoolers will all be doing the voting. Next, our school must have sports that we're interested in. So we need to make sure we have sports where we'll definitely have enough teammates. I'll list off the sports and I want your commitment for it right now. Only raise your hand if you're absolutely going to join the team." She started to rattle them off. Every sport mentioned had enough participants for a whole team, some even to make two teams. "Winter boys and girls basketball coached by yours truly and Mr. Smith here? Fall football coached by Dillon Baker's father, Mr. Baker and Mr. Smith?"

"Didn't know your dad was a football junkie." ZIM said to Dib.

"My dad is like your brother. Secret life and all. He's a major football fanatic."

"Fall co-ed golf coached by Miss. Irty? Spring track and field coached by Crocker? Spring lacrosse coached by Mr. Macale? Winter hockey coached by Mr. Kinley? Boys fall soccer coached by Mr. Macale? Spring girls soccer coached by myself? Winter volleyball coach by Miss. Itry? Sorry boys, you're excluded from this sport. Co-ed spring field hockey coached by Kinley? Late winter girls and boys water polo coached by Mr. Macale? Early winter swimming and diving coached by Macale? Fall through Winter competitive and sideline cheer coached by myself? Summer competitive surfing, co-ed, coached by Macale and Smith? Spring baseball coached by Zeiden Macale-"

"Hold on! I'm only thirteen here!"

"Yes. But you're a thirteen year old in the Little League nationals! Step up! This is your calling. Spring softball coached by Mr. Baker? Spring boys and girls tennis coached by Smith? Alright! Well it looks like we got all the sports down pat. Your tuition fees will be going towards sports uniforms and facilities as well as equipment. Zeiden, you're a lyricist, right?"

"Babe, I'm too many things to list. What ya want?"

"Since you're such a talented songwriter, singer, and composer, I was wondering if you'd do the honors of composing our school fight song?"

"Payment?"

"Uh, I wasn't expecting that you'd want to get paid-"

"Kidding. I'll do it."

"Thank you, ZIM. And thank you all for your cooperation and since some of these sports are starting up so soon, you best start preparing now." With that note the students were dismissed to go to their filming sessions.

"Clever mascot. Get that idea from Latin mythology?" Tak asked.

"Yeah . . . I guess. It's from Mårc mythology too though." ZIM mumbled.

"I forget that Irk's Mårcio and Rome and Greece are pretty much the same thing, save the fact that Mårcs are sexy, green, Irkens." Tak pinched ZIM's cheek, complimenting his heritage of that particular, rare, Irken ethnicity.

"Heh, yeah. You know what's up." ZIM and Tak entered the hall where ZIM's dressing room was. They went to the elevator to get to the correct floor.

"What are we rehearsing for today, Zimmy?" Tak asked.

"An episode called, Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain."

". . . That's a bizarre title."

"Jhonen is a bizarre guy."

"This is true. Who's in it?"

"Me, GIR, some background characters, and the two dimwit 'Tallests'."

"That's it?"

"It's one of those twelve minute episodes." ZIM opens his door and walked in, Tak following him. As soon as the door closed, Tak practically jumped him. She pulled him in for a bone crushing hug, kissing his temple lovingly. ZIM's face smushed against her bosom. "Um . . . What's with the sudden affection?"

"Do you realize how long it's been since we had a moment to ourselves?"

". . . A week? Two? I dunno. Is it that big of a deal?"

"Of course it is! You've gone missing for a few days. Those were horrible days!" ZIM scoffed.

"Clingy."

"So what?" Tak kissed him again. The two walked over to the couch and sat down. Once comfortable, Tak clasped his face in her hands and pressed her lips against his. The two closed their eyes as they engaged in their favorite pastime together, Frenching and touching, loving every moment of it. Tak glided her hand down his shoulder to his wrist and held on. "You're hiding something." She said through the kiss.

"What do you mean?" ZIM asked, never once breaking the passion between them.

"You've been acting so strange lately." Tak finally pulled away, looking at her boyfriend deeply in the eyes. She kept one hand on his cheek. "It's hot. Why are you wearing long sleeve shirts. It's so abnormal for you." ZIM remained silent. "So you do have something to hide." ZIM still stayed quiet. He tried thinking of any excuse as to why he was suddenly acting weirder than before. "Did you get a tattoo?" ZIM chuckled.

"No, no. Nothing like that." ZIM whispered. He leaned in for a second round. "Why don't we just table this conversation for now and-" Tak pressed a finger against his lips.

"You're cutting yourself." ZIM's heart stopped. A long, eerie, quietness lingered thickly in the room. ZIM felt himself sweat almost immediately. She was gonna tell Red. And he was gonna send him back to that psycho ward. And ZIM wasn't ready to go back there anytime soon.

"T-Tak . . . I . . . Why would you . . ." ZIM was lost for words. "No. No I'm not. I don't do that stuff." ZIM hid his arms behind his back.

"Zeiden," She started, sternly. ZIM gulped. "Give me your arm. Now." She demanded. When he didn't comply she forcefully pried his hand from behind his back and rolled up his sleeve. Tak gasped at what she saw. Scars, some older some newer. Some weren't even scars yet. They were still just scabbed over. Tak intertwined her fingers with his, her eyes piercing him. Her face read concern and love. "Baby, I wanna help you. I love you so much. I don't want you to hurt yourself like this. It doesn't have to be this way!" ZIM tried to pull away but Tak responded by wrapping him up in a hug. "I want to help you."

"Okay."

"But you must promise me this won't continue." ZIM didn't say anything. "Promise me."

"Tak," ZIM kissed her lips. "It's my only relief."

Later

Tak kept a sharp eye on him. He was smiling and laughing with his friends as if nothing were wrong. They were doing a reread of the script. It was only ZIM, ZIM's voice-over, Richard, and Rikki that were reading mostly. Then Dib and Purple were helping read the background character's voices until the casting director could find the proper actors and actresses.

"GIR! We need to concentrate here! As we speak our defenses-"

"Boooriiing! Ooohh!"

"Alright, ZIM, this is where a robotic arm lifts you up and messes with you."

"It what?"

"That didn't come out properly." Steve Russel said. The cast and crew laughed together. "What I meant was, the arm will squeeze you and you have to look incredibly uncomfortable as you struggle to get out of it's grasp."

"Oh. Now I see."

"So lets practice."

"Huh? Whoa!" ZIM was caught off guard when Purple picked him up from behind, giving him a huge bear hug. The older Irken squeezed around ZIM's waist. ZIM gasped and wriggled in his grasp.

"Perfect! Now say your lines while struggling."

"GIR! What are you doing? Put me down, GIR! Augh! Stop! Oh! Oww, my organs."

"Good job, ZIM." Russel said. Purple dropped ZIM. The boy landed on the ground with a loud thud.

"Oof! Oh you suck!" ZIM kicked Purple in the shin. The man was unfazed by the assault. Tak rolled her eyes. ZIM looked so happy but she knew, she knew that's he's hurting. Not necessarily physically, but she could see that storm in his soul, thundering and strong winds. ZIM was a good actor. How else could he cover up something that would otherwise be so obvious? In her own mind, Tak had a storm similar to the one in ZIM's heart. Only this one was debating whether she should tell someone or not. She promised ZIM that she wouldn't say a word after he begged and begged her to stay quiet. But she had morals and an idea of what was right and what was wrong. If she told, would she be right for saving him from himself or wrong for self harming and breaking a promise? Or would he be right for using this deadly method of 'relief', as ZIM called it, or wrong for destroying his body? Tak was torn. She wanted to help him but he was resistant. She didn't think there was anything she could do but just sit and watch her boyfriend, her fiancé, her future husband, do this to himself.

ZIM caught her stare from the corner of his eye. His smile he was wearing disappeared at her sorrowful look. The two shared this look for a few more seconds until ZIM shook his head and turned his attention back to his buddies. Tak felt disgusted at him. Not him. But what he was getting away with. It wasn't right. Tak sat there, alone and in deep thought. She sighed. She decided that she'll wait for now, see if ZIM gets any better. But if it gets more extreme, she'll definitely intervene.

"Hey, Tak." Dib sat next to the Irken. "What's up? You don't look very . . . happy. You and ZIM get into a fight?"

"No. Nothing like that." Tak mumbled her answer. "He's just . . . frustrating me. Like, ugh, I can't say."

"Say what?"

"I just told you I couldn't say." Tak repeated.

"I'm sorry." Dib whispered. "But I know. ZIM's not fooling me, either." Tak's head snapped in his direction.

"What?"

"I'm sure Red knows but he's in denial. I know how Red's psychology works. He only hears what he wants to hear. He doesn't believe what he doesn't want to believe. In his mind, ZIM is just fine. Deep down Red knows what's up with ZIM, that he's depressed and angry, annoyed with himself, but I know for a fact that Red doesn't know ZIM's hurting himself. Otherwise he would've stepped in. He always draws the line when it comes to his siblings getting hurt or hurting themselves." Tak was lost for words. "I'm right here with you, Tak. I want to help him too. He'll hate us if we tell someone, so for now, we'll help him in any subtle way possible. If it gets worse, then you and I will tell someone together. He loves you and I can't see you guys ever separating. We're best friends and I'm not sure if he'll let our friendship go if we tell. But we can never know with him. We're helping him because we love him."

"Dillon," Tak started. "Thank you so much." She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "You're a great friend. You're very good for ZIM in a time like this. Keep him in your sight often and I'll do the same when we're home." Tak glanced around. "This may sound creepy, but I do check on him every night while he sleeps." Dib shrugged.

"Whatever works." The two smiled warmly. "Now, lets be the best, most supportive friends anyone could ever have."

August 22, 2001

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you going in to teach yet. Yesterday was completely uncalled for! Leaving without me knowing where you were going! When I woke up I nearly had a panic attack! Where on earth did my stupid, broken, defenseless husband go? I don't know! Somewhere in this large city getting mugged, raped, murdered, assaulted!" Red snickered. "It's not funny! You do realize that to properly heal, you need bed rest? Like, lots of it!" Red yawned.

"Okay, babe, it's five AM, there's no need to shout."

"Yes there is! I just caught you trying to go out the door to do the same exact thing as yesterday. It's a good thing Kaddie caught you and brought you home."

"Still don't know why she was there."

"Red, just get back in bed." Leslie groaned. She put a gentle hand over the brace on his hip running down his leg. "I know this new brace is awesome for walking around and all but it doesn't mean that you're not working your bones at all. They need to rest."

"I can sit all day."

"No, darling, you need to sleep. Look at yourself. You look exhausted." Leslie touched his face.

"I'm not a morning person, you know that." Red pointed out.

"Yeah, but . . . You seem even more tired this morning then any other." Leslie watched as her husband seemed to fall asleep standing up. "You're concussion, don't strain your mind. You won't be any help for your students if your brain is messed up." Red's eyes closed completely. "Sweetie?" Without warning Red slumped forward. Leslie caught him, surprised. She didn't know if he had fainted or fell asleep. He's never done something like that before. Leslie knelt down and rested him on the hard-wood flooring, face up. She slapped his face lightly to revive him. She continued to tap and call to him until she heard a soft snoring emit from the back of his nasal cavity. Leslie cocked a brow at this.

"What da hell you do to him?" ZIM walked into the kitchen, mouth full. For some reason he had a jar of peanut butter and spoon he was using to scoop out the contents. "He look like you jus kill him."

"I . . . I think he fell asleep."

"Just now? Here? In da kitchen?"

"Yeah. We were talking then he went down." ZIM's eyes went wide.

"Is he hurt? Did you catch him?"

"No and yes. I broke his fall. Huh! It's so weird."

"Maybe he's developing a sleeping disorder from his head injury. That's possible." ZIM said. "We're outta peanut butter." ZIM threw the empty jar in the trash, and the silver spoon on accident. However he didn't make an effort to retrieve it from the garbage disposal. Leslie looked down at Red again.

"ZIM . . . You're gonna skip the first few hours of your classes today. We're going to the hospital."

"Les, it might be that he's tired too."

"Yes but he's not waking up! What if he just fell into a coma?"

"Doubtful."

"How can you be so sure?" Leslie asked.

"Meh . . . Okay. As long as I get outta my math test." Leslie picked Red up from underneath the arms. "Thank God for his underweight ass, right?" Leslie only grunted in reply.

"Zeiden, get the door. We need to get to the truck."

Later

"Narcolepsy." The doctor said. "I can guarantee it. The symptoms you listed and his head injury are definitely pointing to narcolepsy."

"It's a type of seizure?" ZIM asked.

"Yes. In a way. The word, 'lepsy' means seizure. As you would know, you have epilepsy, correct?" ZIM nodded to the doctor. "Like epilepsy, narcolepsy is a life long condition. Or 'chronic' if you will."

"So Red will fall asleep spontaneously everyday?" Leslie asked.

"Not necessarily. It is treatable with certain medications and diet. Does he eat meat?"

"He's a huge meat-eater."

"That's gonna be a problem. If you want him safe and secure, he has to pretty much give up meat."

"You're asking that he converts into a vegetarian."

"For his benefit." The doctor said. "It'll be hard to quit eating meat cold turkey, so make sure you rid of the temptations. Or if you'd rather lock up your meat in a freezer somewhere he cannot find." Leslie pressed her palm to her face.

"You got to be kidding." Leslie rubbed her face. "What kinds of things will trigger a sleep attack?"

"Intense anger or laughter can cause cataplexy. Always plan a nap for him after meals. Fifteen to twenty minutes long. Keep in mind that seizures may occur. Sudden excitement may trigger a sleep attack also."

"Is it safe for him to drive? Or do anything for that matter?"

"It will if he continuously treats his condition. Never wean off of the treatment unless I or another doctor says otherwise. You may want to have an Irken doctor do a check up on him, though. Irkens and humans are quite different so some of the rules might not imply." Leslie scratched her head in thought. Just perfect. Another condition she has to deal with. It was bad enough he had night terrors, now this? Night terrors. That reminds her,

"He has night terrors regularly. Will this tie into narcolepsy in anyway?"

"Possibly. But that's amazing. He has night terrors? Usually that only happens in kids, most adults grow out of it. How often do these terrors occur and how violent can they get?"

"Once a week, sometimes more, sometimes none at all. The violence level ranges from just whimpering and crying to screaming bloody murder."

"Does he hit?"

"He does thrash during the more violent terrors." The doctor nodded. All three of them looked to the bed Red was on, sleeping.

"I'd like to perform several sleep tests on him. His condition is interesting."

"I don't think he wants to be some doctor's lab rat." Leslie said.

"No, no. This sleep study will be to treat him. The more I study him, the more I can help." The doctor assured. "I can prescribe him with a few stimulate medications now that will help with this new condition he developed. Ritalin will probably work best for him. But Ritalin is highly addictive so monitor him closely." The doctor started scribbling something down on a sheet of paper just as Red started to stir on the bed. His eyes fluttered open. Leslie went to his side.

"Finally you wake up." Leslie said. Red looked around confused.

"Wha-? Where am I?"

"Hospital."

"Why? . . . Is it because I tried to disobey the doctor's orders again? You're not keeping me here, are you?"

"No, sweetie, we just discovered something startling." Leslie leaned over Red, kissing him between the eyes. "You have narcolepsy. When you fell, you sustained a concussion. That concussion is located in the pons area of your brain which makes important chemicals that help you sleep. But thanks to this concussion, you have a chemical imbalance on your brain. You'll probably have chronic narcolepsy for the rest of your life."

"So . . . I'm going to fall asleep spontaneously throughout the day? Everyday? For the rest of my life?" Red asked worried.

"Not exactly. We can treat and control it to a certain degree. But it'll be like your brother here with his epilepsy. You'll have a sleep attack episode every so often." Red groaned, covering his face.

"No! You can't be serious! It's bad enough I still have night terrors that I should've grown out of years ago."

"Sorry, Mr. Macale. I have a sheet here on everything about narcolepsy syndrome and how you can treat it." The doctor handed Red a brochure. "Be careful with everything you do until the Ritalin is in your immune system and doing its job. Don't drive until then either." Red's jaw dropped.

"What the hell? I don't have narcolepsy! What if I just fell asleep standing up? That happens sometimes. I mean, I feel great now."

"Usually after a sleep attack when you wake from your nap you tend to feel refreshed but that's how narcolepsy works." The doctor told him. Red bit his lip.

"This is so stupid. You can't honestly tell me that I've developed a sleeping disorder in just a few short days." Red sorely stood and began to walk out. Red flung the brochure behind him as he limped out. "I'm leaving. Thanks for wasting my time. ZIM, why aren't you in school?" ZIM shrugged. "C'mon." Red demanded. ZIM healed by Red. Leslie shook her head.

"Sorry about him. He's a tad moody all of a sudden."

"Happens." The doctor said. "I understand that he's stressed and confused. He's in a lot of pain too so it's no big surprise to me. Keep him off his feet." Leslie nodded, shaking the doctor's hand.

"Will do."

Later

"So I heard that you're gonna be keeping yourself busy with the academy year 'round." ZIM said.

"What do you mean?" Red asked. He still had a grumpy tone in his voice. The two brothers were relaxing in the living room, Red laying on the couch, getting his much needed rest. The Tiger's baseball game was playing on their flat screen.

"You're coaching lacrosse, soccer, swimming and diving, water polo, and competitive surfing?"

"Yeah. They needed coaches and didn't want to hire any so they turned to the teachers." Red mumbled. "I heard that you chose the name for the mascot."

"Uh, you mean I chose the mascot. We didn't decide on a name yet."

"Call 'er Red, like me, Phoenix derives from Greek or Latin meaning blood-red."

"No . . . You're kind of ridiculous. How about Phoebe the Phoenix?" Red scowled.

"Dats dumb."

"Phoebe is a fierce name, what are you talking about?"

"You're dumb." Red mumbled.

"Or Phire the Phoenix! Spelling fire with 'PH' instead of 'F'."

"Dat more dumber." Red grumbled. "Who'd you vote for on the student senate election ballad?"

"Tak for president. She's smarter than all the humans in the school combined. Eliza for vice pres. Debbie for secretary. Vicky for treasurer. Reggie for head representative-"

"Mate, what's up with the female dominated government?" ZIM casted an inquiringly look at Red. He then realized he didn't vote for any boys.

"Oh . . . Well let's face it, the only competent boys to even be considered part of the senate are all closer to my age. I'm mean, do you seriously trust Francis to be the organizer of all student activities?"

"Point. You do your homework?"

"Yeah."

"Can I check it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Avalyn ate it." Red scoffed.

"Zeiden. Do your homework. Now." The little Irken groaned.

"Red, I don't understand any of it."

"Then let me help you." ZIM crossed his arms.

"I don't get why I'm wasting my time going to school. My education isn't gonna come in handy for anything. I already have a career that pays an extraordinary amounts of monies. I don't need-"

"Just finish, for Christ's sakes. You only have four years left. Be thankful because otherwise it'd take five years if it weren't for the year round schooling. 2005, ZIM, you can make that." Red said. "And when comes graduation time, you'll feel like you've accomplished something. Graduating is a huge milestone."

"Know what else was a huge milestone?" ZIM asked. Red perked his antenna to show ZIM he was listening. "Getting a record deal at age six. Getting my own clothing line. Becoming a icon for a mobile device. Receiving an award for 'Most Talented Irken'. Getting my own T.V. series. Starring in several movies. Making it into the Little League championships. Modeling for a popular teen clothing store. And what's graduating high school gonna get me? A piece of paper with my name on it?"

"Zeiden, you would have never of become any of those things if we never by chance ran into Jalo at that hotel. How coincidental was it that he was scouting there at that exact moment when we walked in? And how you went to look at that piano, he was right there to ask you if you could play? And the fact that you knew you could play and sing for him on the spot? Or how about the war that sent us temporarily to Irk in the first place. If it weren't for that war, we'd still be traveling the Outback. Or I could possibly be unemployed due to the fact that I was laid off about a year ago. Purple probably wouldn't be married to Tenn because he would've gone back to Canada after the lay off and he'd more than likely already be in the NHL. We would still be living in Alice Springs."

"Where are you going with this?" ZIM asked.

"I'm saying that, if one event such as visiting Irk could change our lives so drastically, then think about how getting a diploma could change your life? My high school diploma got me into college so I could become a freelance, wildlife, and environmental biologist. I traveled Australia with my now best friend, then they sent us to the U.S. where I met my now wife. Then we got pregnant with my now daughter. See how my diploma changed my life? Do you get it, Zei?" ZIM waved Red off.

"I just feel like there's no point in finishing." ZIM said.

"Just stick it through. Have fun with it. I promise it'll all pay off."

"There's my boy!" ZIM craned his neck to look beyond the couch to the stairs. Tak was descending. She had a wide smile on her lips. "Zimmy, I wanna talk to you." She said. ZIM gave her an inquiring look.

"About?"

"About the project we're doing in history together." ZIM saw in her face that, that was not what she really wanted to talk about. They didn't truly have a project in that class. ZIM stood from the floor.

"Think about what I said, Z." Red muttered, his eyes, tired-looking and stressed. ZIM nodded and followed Tak back up the steps. She led him to his room. When they both arrived, Tak's smile disappeared and she slammed the door shut. ZIM jumped at her sudden mood change. Tak grabbed both his wrists in a vice-like grip. ZIM cringed. He felt his scabbed cuts break open.

"You're a God damned fool." ZIM's antenna slicked back to his head.

"Wha-what?" Tak didn't reply. Instead she dragged him across his room to the wall on the other side of his bed. She pointed.

"What are these drawings? What do they mean?" ZIM inspected the wall. He knew exactly what those drawings were and what they meant, but he didn't want to tell her.

"Takayla, give it a rest."

"You've gone mad, Zeiden! I'm not letting it go!" ZIM ripped his hands away from her.

"I'm not your concern!"

"Why the fuck would you say that?" Tak yelled back.

"It's a personal problem! I don't need you prying!"

"I'm going to be your wife! We're going to be married! That means we're going to be one person! That's how marriage works! If this is a personal problem, then it concerns the both of us!"

"Well we're not married yet, so for now just butt the fuck out!" Tak looked hurt.

"I'm insulted, Zeiden. How you won't tell your own fiancée what's causing you to hurt yourself like this."

"Why do you think I'm doing this? Why?"

"I can't know! You have it good, Zeiden! Sure you have a few faults-"

"A few? Just a few? I'm fucking useless! Asthma, epilepsy, I'm pretty much diabetic! I died for a whole minute! That day I went into cardiac arrest, I was supposed to die!"

"You lived because you were supposed to live!"

"I'm a nuisance to my family!"

"You're a blessing!"

"God-" ZIM turned away from her, practically pulling his antenna out in frustration. He bit down on his hand to prevent himself from making the argument even louder. His teeth sunk down far enough into his flesh to draw blood. Tak grabbed his hand and pulled it out of his mouth. "Would you just leave? You don't get it! You don't get what I'm going through! They keep talking to me! They're telling me everything opposite of what you're telling me! Just go-" ZIM was cut off by Tak's lips on his. His eyes narrowed with fury towards the girl. He was about to push her away until her hand rested on his chest, right over his heart. Her fingers caressing his chest through his shirt. ZIM kept his eyes open when he saw a tear escape Tak's eye. Through their closed lips she whispered to him.

"I'm going to protect you from them. I'm going to keep you as mine. They won't be able to bother you." Her voice wavered as she silently cried. "Please, Zeiden. Ignore them. I love you. I know you know that I do." A lone tear of ZIM's own also fell from his eye.

"Tomorrow." Tak released from the kiss but not from the embrace.

"What?"

"I want you to make that promise to me as soon as possible. Elope with me tomorrow. I'll take your name and everything. As long as I know they can't hurt me any longer." The smallest of smiles swept across Tak's face.

"This will be best for the both of us, Zeiden. Tomorrow, we go to Irk and we'll make it official." Tak kissed his forehead. "I love you so much."

August 23, 2001

He could feel his heart flutter. It was beating a high tempo cadence as he stood before the rabbi with his bride. He could hardly believe what he was about to do. At the young, yet legal age of thirteen, he was wedding his girlfriend of three years. Something he would have never of dreamed of doing just a few short months ago, but he felt it necessary. He, Tak, and the rabbi were the only beings present. They paid the rabbi extra to keep it completely secret from the Irken media. If the media found out, then ZIM's family would find out for sure. He wouldn't know what they'd do if they found out. He knew they wouldn't be impressed at all.

ZIM wasn't even sure if he was impressed with himself. Running off to get married. Humans did it all the time. It was easy to get married hastily. They'd run off to Las Vegas, demand that a minister wedded them so they could have pure sex. Of course, the majority of those marriages ended in divorce.

ZIM knew his relationship was different though. He's known Tak all his life. He knows they connect like magnets. No one could see them with anyone else. And so, ZIM vowed to submit to his wife. To love her through thick and thin. And to always be faithful to her. And she vowed to protect him. To also love him through thick and thin. And to always be faithful to him. And to seal it. They kissed.

Later

Red smirked, watching his wife from his spot behind the wall that separated the dining room and the family room. She was reading peacefully on the couch. Red looked down at the documents in his hands then back to Leslie.

"My intuition is telling me you're up to something cynical." She said without looking up. Red raised a brow.

"How'd you know I was standing here?" Leslie closed her book, giving her husband an 'are-you-kidding-me?' look.

"I heard you belch ten seconds ago." Red chuckled, limping to her. He sat next to Leslie, putting a hand on her knee. "What's that?" She asked pointing to the documents in his hands.

"A quote for the Terica home being built."

"What's the price?"

"One hundred-twenty million."

"Oh that's not too bad."

"Yes, but keep in mind that we're switching locations here too so we're closer to the studio."

"How much is the mortgage for that?"

"Twenty-eight million eight thousand."

"That's not too bad either. That's barely a dent in your and Peder's annual salaries alone. Adding it up with Zee, Tenn, and ZIM's salary, it's like no money was taken out of it." Leslie looked down to her lap. "Is that the reason why you came to talk to me?"

"Not the only reason. You know that brand new Ferrari 370 Spider that you wanted?"

"No. I never asked for a Ferr-"

"Well I went out, went to the best dealers in LA and I got it for you."

". . . Huh?"

"Happy anniversary!"

"It's not our-"

"Manual transmission!"

"I can't drive stick."

"And it's in your favorite color." Red beamed. Leslie didn't speak. She was lost. "A deep sexy red color."

"Red is not my favorite color-"

"Of course it is. Your welcome!" Red threw his arms around her and gave her a tight squeeze.

". . . This Ferrari is actually for you, isn't it?"

"Yup!"

"Figured." Leslie pushed away. "I have some good news of my own." She said with a broad smile. "So you know how my first career was a dental hygienist?" Red nodded. "Well I went to college for four years to become a full out dentist but was never able to continue because of the debt I was in at the time. It only takes two years to become a hygienist so I was well on my way to becoming a dentist. But after I met you and we fell in love I kinda just threw the whole idea away. But now, as I was sitting here pretending to read, I was thinking. I don't do shit anymore! I know what's yours is mine and vice versa but I technically have nothing for you to share with me. And all day I just sit at home and do nothing. I don't even clean! We have cleaning ladies to do that and pretty soon, we'll have maids and butlers living with us on Irk and in the Pacific Palisades! What I'm saying is, I feel useless and I'm going back to college to get my PhD. I don't want to become just a dentist. I want to become an orthodontist. Just an extra four years of dental school then two more for residency, then BAM! I'm gonna be a professional at something!" Leslie smiled, wide. Red stared at her, emotionless. "Is there something wrong?" She studied her husband's facial features and he didn't look very pleased at all.

"Yes there is." He said lowly. Red truly didn't look impressed. Annoyance and anger was inevitable on his face. "I got you a Ferrari and you don't even acknowledge it." Leslie rolled her eyes.

"Did you listen to anything I just said?"

"Of course! I think college would be good for you! You can be Peder's personal orthodontist because who knows how many teeth he's gonna get knocked out with this upcoming NHL season . . . Of course you can't be his ortho just yet, but when you are an orthodontist, he'll love you . . . Or hate you. Either one." Leslie smiled, kissing his cheek.

"How are you feeling? Sleepy at all?"

"A little fatigued. I mean . . . All that Ferrari buying sure did exhaust me."

"Mmhmm."

"Boy, but it was worth it."

"Yup."

"Yes sir, I sure am glad I got you that magnificent car."

"I'm sure you are."

"Because I knew you would appreciate it."

"Yup."

"And you appreciate all the time and effort I put in to buy it."

"Yup."

"Uh huh! Lots of money was spent on that thing but I know it'll all pay off."

"Are you horny?"

". . . Yes."

"Knew it. Red, thank you for buying that car for yourself, but I'm sorry, I cannot lay you today." She gently patted his broken hip. "Because your whole freaking pelvis is messed up right now." Red frowned. "Don't give me that look."

"I'll give you whatever look I want." His features turned seductive. "Maybe we should go to the garage and I'll let you see that lovely, red hot, Ferrari and maybe, just maybe, we can have sex on the hood. Hmm?" Leslie shook her head. "It's seriously car-gasmic."

"Red,"

"Yes?"

"Stop."

"Make me." Leslie kissed his lips.

"Sorry, but this is all you're getting." She whispered before embracing him and deepening the kiss. Red smiled through the kiss, closing his eyes.

"This'll do." The couple separated when they heard the door open. Tak and ZIM entered hand-in-hand. "There you guys are! Where have you been?" The two shared a look.

"Shopping." ZIM said. Leslie lifted a brow.

"Interesting. You went shopping and came home with nothing." Tak elbowed ZIM hard.

"Window shopping." Tak said. "ZIM's planning ahead for Hanukkah. I was giving him ideas. Then we went to the hospital to visit Zee. But couldn't find her."

"Oooh." Red drawled. "Okay. Well that hospital is huge. She works on the third floor ya know."

"That's why we couldn't find her! We were looking on the first and second." ZIM said. "I'm going to my room."

"Take Avalyn out. Sapphira and that beast are both upstairs and it's unnerving to me." ZIM gave Red a thumbs up and disappeared up stairs. "While you're at it, bring Saph to me!"

"Got ya!" Tak sat on the couch next to Red, smiling broadly at him.

"Hello brother." She said, snickering a bit. Red tilted his head.

"Wha . . .?"

August 24, 2001

"Keep a close eye on him. Make sure he doesn't do anything strenuous. If he doesn't listen to you, call me and I'll convince him." Leslie kissed ZIM on the head. "Alright. You better get yourself to school now. Class starts in half an hour."

"He took his meds right?" ZIM asked.

"Yes. He shouldn't spontaneously fall asleep today." Leslie gave ZIM's shoulder a squeeze. "Look at you acting all concerned." ZIM shrugged.

"It's not me hurt this time. I'm just doing exactly what Red does." ZIM said. "After school, I'm gonna a visit Tenn's band camp to see if she needs help. Don't expect me home until five."

"Okay, Sweetie. You have fun." Leslie said as she fixed his sweater vest. Red entered ZIM's room.

"You ready, mate?"

"Yes, sir." Leslie gave Red a quick kiss.

"Let ZIM drive." Red looked like he was caught off guard.

"What? Why? He won't be able to reach the accelerator."

"Then ride in his car with him."

"Why?"

"Because you're a new narcoleptic." Red threw his hands in the air, annoyed.

"I fell asleep once. Nothing has happened since then."

"It's only been two days, Babe."

"Nothing happened yesterday."

"Because you stayed home most of the day. Just be grateful I'm even letting you leave today." Leslie poked Red between the eyes. "Take a nap after lunch like the doctor said. Don't fall asleep in front of the kids. That won't look very professional." Red scowled, crossing his arms. "And remain seated the whole day. I want you to heal."

"You only want me to heal so we can make more smeets." Red muttered.

"That's only one reason." Leslie said. "Now get going before you're late for your class."

"Peder's already there."

"He told me he didn't have a lesson plan." ZIM piped up.

"Well we're fucked." Red muttered. He winced when his wife raised her hand to hit him. "Concussion! I have a concussion, remember?" Red said, hastily. Leslie groaned lowering her hand.

"Gazelle! Come on! They're waiting on you!" Gaz calmly descended from the upper floor.

"I didn't do the homework Dib's dad assigned us. His teaching method is confusing. He talks as if we're all college students."

"So are you saying I'm your favorite?" Red smiled.

"You two make the lessons interesting at least." Gaz said. "The only thing that I despise is all the girls fawning over you and Purple. It's disgusting."

"Know what's even more disgusting?" Red asked. "When you confiscate a letter from those girls who are passing notes back and forth and you read it only to find that they were talking about their sexual fantasies with the different boys in class. ZIM included." Red put a hand on her head. "I'm so glad you're a perfect child and you don't do shit like that." He patted her hair. She waved his hand away and fixed her bangs, scowl on her face.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go." She mumbled. Red grabbed the keys out of ZIM's hands.

"Come on. We gotta leave." Red told him.

"Yeah. Give me my keys back so we can." ZIM said.

"I'll drive. Kay?"

"Uhh, yeah sure. Put all our lives in danger." ZIM reached for the keys. Red held them up so he couldn't get to them. "Come on, Red. This isn't fair. I can't hurt you." Leslie snatched the keys away while Red was preoccupied with ZIM.

"Wha-?" Red pouted. "Please, let me drive. I took the goddamn meds!"

"Not good enough." She threw the keys back to ZIM. "Grow up. You can drive when you're stable again." Red stamped his right foot, like a child, whining.

"Noooo. I wanna drive nooowwww." Leslie pressed her finger against his lips.

"If you're gonna act like a child, you'll get punished like a child." Red blinked then a huge smile crossed his face. "Not a whoppin', you'd like that too much." Red frowned again. "ZIM's driving. That's final." Red looked annoyed. To make him feel better, Leslie whispered in his antenna. "Later, if you do behave, I might just reward you." Red's antenna perked, getting warm. The smile returned.

"Deal."

Later

ZIM walked into class late like he expected to. He ignored the stares of his classmates as he promptly sat behind his desk wordlessly. Crocker barely acknowledged him.

"Okay, well now that everyone did end up making it, I suppose I will hand out the test today." The class groaned loudly.

"Nice going, ZIM!"

"You had to show up?" His classmates playfully jibed. ZIM raised his hand.

"Crocker, can I have an extra day to study?"

"You were gone for a whole week ZIM. You had plenty of time." Crocker said.

"Yes, I know. But it was just too bad I was fighting for my life in the wild outback, remember?" Crocker shook his head.

"Did you do your study guide I gave to you yesterday?"

"The parts that I learned. I missed a few lessons because of the fact that I was stranded."

"Very well. Then we won't take it today." The class sighed with relief. "Instead we will relearn some lessons for ZIM's sake-" Crocker was cut off by the PA system crackling to life.

"Zeiden Macale, please report to the biology laboratory, Zeiden Macale, to the bio lab." Crocker looked annoyed.

"Okay. You know what? ZIM, I'm exempting you from this test. The rest of you will take it today." The class groaned again. ZIM was confused as to why he was being called down to his brothers' classroom but nonetheless reported there as fast as he could. He was met halfway by Spongebob and Sandy.

"Hey ya, pardner. Your brother kinda just . . . fell asleep, I guess. Like standin' up and everythang." Sandy told him. ZIM nodded.

"I see. Yeah, he's definitely narcoleptic." ZIM walked past them. The two toons followed behind him. ZIM entered the classroom. Purple was chilling on the floor, next to Red who was laying on his back, head turned to the side, snoring quietly. The rest of the class was wondering what the heck was going on.

"Red's sleepy." Purple stated, simply.

"He didn't fall did he?" ZIM asked, suddenly worried.

"No, no. I caught him. I saw him start to sway in and out of consciousness." Sandy knelt down by her friend.

"Poor, ole boy. Developing narcolepsy later in life is gonna take some getting used to. It'll be frustrating. Hopefully he won't have an episode everyday." Sandy picked up Red's injured leg and situated it into a different position so that it wouldn't further agitate his already fractured bones. "When he wakes up he'll feel refreshed. But keep him off his feet and don't excite him."

"You should just stick around. He won't listen to me." Purple said.

"Leslie said I should call if this happened." ZIM said.

"What the heck is wrong with your brother?" ZIM looked up to the random student who shouted at him. Some kid he didn't even know. Though he did look like he was related to a cast member from Fairly Odd Parents.

"Well duh, he's tired."

"Is he gonna be okay?" This time it was Trixie to speak. Her voice was concerned and flirty. "He looks like he had a very rough time recently."

"Uh yeah. Death brushed his cheek a couple days ago." ZIM shook his head at her. He really wished the students would treat their teachers as teachers and not some sort of sexual-fantasy-toy. They even did it to Dib's dad and he wasn't particularly the most 'handsome' man out there. Not only that but Mr. Baker was bisexual, mostly into guys than girls. Or that's what ZIM gathered from the way Dib spoke of his father. "Peder, didn't you tell them what happened yesterday or the day before that?"

"Wasn't here yesterday. Didn't think of it the other day." Purple waved it off. The man nearly fell back in his rear when Red sat up with a startled gasp. He whipped his head about him in bewilderment. It took him a few moments before realizing that he did in fact have another episode.

"Damn it! No! No! I'm not allowing this!" Red grunted, straining to stand by himself. He tried pushing Purple away when his friend assisted him up.

"Dude, you're an idiot. You need to just stay home." Purple said. Red painfully limped over to his desk chair and plopped down, arms crossed. Sandy stood beside his chair.

"Red, sweetie, ya need to face the facts here. You're weak 'n tired and need rest. You ain't no good here when you're always falling asleep. Your wife let you come today or did ya sneak out again?" Sandy asked, a paw on Red's shoulder.

"She let me come. And if I were to go home I'd be bored shitless because whenever I want to have a naughty, my trouble and strife turns me down even though she wants me up the duff again anyway. But no! She tells me to nurse the kiddiwink we already have instead! It's not fair!" Red whined, shoving his face in his hands. His Aussie accent so thick not a soul could tell what he just squeaked out. Which was probably intentional considering what Red just said wasn't entirely appropriate for the children to hear. "I just want to be fixed again." Sandy's face was contorted with confusion.

"What the hell didja just say, pard'ner?" She asked.

"I don't want to go home. I'll be bored. No sex for me even though my wife wants another child anyway. Instead she'd just tell me to give care to the child we already have." ZIM translated by whispering. "It's not that hard to understand, geez."

"You do realize the reason she's turning you down from sex is because . . . You're fucking pelvis is shattered! Don't be stupid!" Purple flicked Red's antenna.

"I'm staying here!" Red snapped. "I'm not going home. I won't be able to do anything."

"You can't do a damn thing anyhow!" ZIM said pulling out his Imp. "I'll just call Les and ask her to come down-" ZIM yelped when he was tackled to the ground. Red snatched the phone from his hands. The older brother rolled off his little sibling, cringing in agony at the stress he just caused on his injuries. "Are you insane? You're gonna hurt yourself even further!" Red was assisted up from under the arms by Spongebob and Sandy. "Acting the fool in front of your class. Calm down, mate." ZIM muttered to his brother. Red clutched his hip, breathing heavily. "Maybe you hit your head harder than we think. You need to go in for another MRI." ZIM took his phone back and called Leslie. Red looked at his students suddenly embarrassed. He was acting smeetish. He felt his body grow tired again. Then without any warning, he went dead weight in the arms of Sandy. ZIM tilted his head to the side. "Wha-? Did he just fall asleep again?" Sandy nodded. ZIM raised both brows. "Well, no one stopping me from calling her now."

Later

"She's pregnant?" Purple nodded. Jhonen face palmed. "We need her for an upcoming episode! We can't have a pregnant invader. Just like we can't have a pregnant tallest."

"Trust me, Red won't be pregnant again anytime soon. When is Tenn needed? I never knew she was coming back."

"For a short cameo. Bring her tomorrow for a rehearsal of her lines, then we'll film the scene the next day."

"But Red is still injured."

"Dammit. I forgot." Jhonen sighed. "You Irkens make things so difficult."

"Uh . . . Thanks?"

"Not a compliment."

"Oh."

"I suppose we don't need him to move around so much. The Tallests robes should cover whatever cast or splint he has on. If there's a weird bulge then we can edit it out with the computers." Jhonen said, mostly to himself. "Where's ZIM?"

"Pretty sure he's finishing up his seventh hour." Purple said. "He'll be here in five minutes or so."

"More like no minutes! Here ZIM is!" ZIM entered the room, presenting himself as if he were the most important thing in the world. "What did ya need?"

"To get back on track with our scripts. You been practicing for Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain?" Jhonen asked.

"Yes, sir. S'all memorized!" ZIM said proudly.

"Good. As soon as I'm done with Tenn tomorrow, we're gonna jump on it and start filming immediately." Jhonen turned to Purple. "Is Red capable of wearing the Almighty Tallest uniform and standing still?"

"Well yeah. Don't see why he wouldn't be capable."

"Great. He needs to come tomorrow. All he needs to know is those two simple words. 'Me too.' And I know he's probably smart enough to memorize that all in one night. If his wife complains about him going . . . punch her in the throat and throw Red in a sack. We need him here."

"Very well. I'm sure it'll all be alright." Purple said.

"Thank you. Your lines are simple too. You two better not come unprepared. If you do-"

"I'll punch you in the throat!" ZIM volunteered. Jhonen nodded.

"Yes, I'll order him to punch you in the throat." Jhonen handed an extra copy of the script to Purple. "Study the actions you'll have to do and what not. Be here tomorrow at seven."

"AM?"

"Yes."

"Guh! I can never have my morning sex!" Purple flung his hands in the air exasperatedly. ZIM cringed.

"Gross, mate."

"Just be here no later." ZIM saluted Jhonen.

"Sure thing. Anything for you, sweetie pie."

"Yeah, no. You're weird. Leave now."

"Don't like my affection?" ZIM questioned.

"Not particularly."

"Well I guess I'll just make tomorrow a living hell for you." ZIM winked then without another word, left with Purple.

The Next Morning

5:00 AM

"Amazing. Today is our third anniversary. We've accomplished so much in that time." Leslie squeezed her husband tight around his waist. "Can you believe it? It's already been three years."

"Days go by fast when you're having fun." Red stretched in their King sized bed, taking in a deep breath.

"That's certainly true." She kissed his cheek then rested her head back down on his chest. His hand was wound up in her hair, petting the soft reddish-brunette, waves that cascaded down to her shoulders. His other arm was wrapped around her shoulders. Her own arms encircled his waist. "You should get up in half in hour. How are you feeling? Sleepy at all? You had an episode yesterday, I don't want you to have another today."

"I won't."

"How can you be so sure? What if you fall asleep and no one is there to catch you? You're frail enough as it is." She tapped the brace that attached to his pelvis and leg under the thin sheet. "This isn't enough to protect you."

"Then come along with me." Red said. "Or better yet, replace me. Pretend to be Almighty Tallest Red and I'll stay here and sleep till noon like I usually do when I don't have to work."

"No. I don't think I'd pass off as a male Irken."

"Oh come on! You don't even have to be tall or toothpick thin to play the Tallest! Look at me and my stature. The height, the thinness, the everything that makes me look contorted on the show, It's all computer animated. All they have to do is replace your face with mine."

"What about the voice, dimwit." Red didn't respond. Leslie could tell he was thinking hard though.

"Do your best me-impression."

"What?"

"Yeah. Do it. Now." Leslie chuckled.

"I don't see how this-"

"Now!" Leslie smirked. She changed her voice to sound a tad nasally, with an extremely thick Australian accent, then to top it all off, she started to rant about random stereotypes that Red would often prove to be true about himself and his nationality.

"Bloody 'ell, didja see that boomah? The ole jack had to be least two metahs tall!" Leslie snickered at what she was saying. "G'day, mate! My name is Red Macale! I'm a true blue Aussie from Kununurra where I dated ev'ry Sheila 'round. I'd rage and pash on with multiple gals at a time! I'd get around on a 'roo and sometimes I like to run down town in the nuddy with all me mates! I'm a jackaroo and I make rash choices by jumpin' on the backs of bulls and ridin' 'em like lil ponies! Always made one rippah stockman, I do. Figjam, this bloke means bizzo right here, mates!" Leslie couldn't help herself. She started to laugh, especially at her husband's reaction. She buried her face into his bare chest and snorted. "I'm sorry, sweetie. But it's true." Red sneered, pompously, snatching his Imp from the night stand beside him, looking up at the screen as if he didn't care.

"I betcha didn't even know what you just said." He muttered scrolling through documents that were sent to him by Jalo. He opened one document that seemed to catch his attention. "Jalo sent me some stage directions for my new music video." Red scrolled through the words. His face twisting as he read. He suddenly gasped, dropping his phone on his face on accident. Leslie pushed herself up, using her elbow for support.

"What's the matter?" She asked. Red sucked in his lips.

"Oh God." He picked up the Imp again and reread a few lines. "That is disgusting! No! I can't do this. It'll ruin my image." Red sat up in bed, he dialed Jalokia's office number. The secretary picked up.

"Jalokia's Records, Mae speaking. How may I help you?"

"Mae, I need you to transfer me to Jalo. I need to talk to him." Red spoke in Irken. The secretary recognized the voice immediately.

"Alright, Sweetheart. Just a second." Red waited semi-patiently for the man to finally answer.

"Hello?"

"Jalo, we need to talk about this transcript you sent to me." Red said angrily. Switching back to English.

"Which one?"

"The, 'Here I Lay' one. What the actual fuck is this shit?"

"Oh yeah." Jalokia also sounding annoyed. "Remember posing for that underwear magazine?"

"Yes."

"Well, since you neglected to actually have Mevlo read the contract, you agreed to sign off for not only that ad, but several other things that the same company does. Including music producing. Commercial advertising. And book publishing. When you said, 'Send it to Mevlo and have her stamp it with [your] signature', you agreed to do a raunchy music video. Good job, Red! You probably just ruined your reputation." Red sucked in his breath, seething.

"No, no, no. I can't. I just . . . I'm married, I have a child, my brother still looks up to me as a role model as well as millions of kids on Irk. I'm going to be hated!"

"How did you not hear of this already?" Jalokia asked in disbelief. "I'm gonna send you a video of some news headlines mentioned on a broadcast a couple days ago when you were still missing."

"Ugh! Fine. This isn't over yet, Jalo. I'm not giving up so easily with this one."

"Goodbye, Red." Click of the receiver being hung up. Not a second later was a video sent to him in his inbox. Red quickly downloaded it and watched as two Irken reporters chatted about the latest news on his Imp.

"And it's still yet to be discovered on where the Macale Brothers have disappeared to. The only information available at the moment is that they are indeed in their homeland country of Australia." A female broadcaster said, mispronouncing the country's name as any typical Irk native would.

"Speaking of Macales, the eldest brother, Red Macale has agreed to do a provocative music video for the company, 'My Image'. The contract he signed for the underwear ad from that same company was a joint contract that he'd also have to do a music video for them." Another anchor spoke up.

"There has been a rumor going around however that he signed that contract unintentionally. Which actually is likely considering the fact that he saves his body for his wife. He's told the paparazzi many times that he respects his body and he doesn't want to exploit it. He's also made it known that he respects other people's bodies and that's why he stays away from any pornographic media. However, it does seem ironic that he would agree to going nude in a music video as a product of lust for its viewers so this rumor may hold to be true."

"I think since Red got tied into this without his knowledge that he's forced to do it. I mean, it was a careless mistake he made but if he knew he'd never agree to it. But now he signed the contract, or rather, had his agent do it, he has to do it otherwise 'My Image' is obligated to press charges for breaking the contract."

"Red's family is the richest in this solar system. If not, the galaxy. Getting sued shouldn't hurt him too much. A couple million dollars is probably what he'd loose, but he has billions more in the bank yet."

"I dunno. There's probably more to that than it seems. In more serious cases he very well could find himself in prison knowing how Meijour's court system works. Broken contracts are usually not taken too lightly. Depending on what the contents is. For instance, he's done the underwear ad and gotten paid for it. He could probably get paid half for the music video up front before even filming it. If he backs out and keeps the money without doing any of the labor, time behind bars."

"Macale is a smart man. I would think he knows what he's doing and where he's going with all of this. Knowing him, he'll probably keep his word and do the music video, cuz that's how he is. Honest and keeps his word. I know he's not a fan of being taken to court. It's happened before with his brother on the Zeiden/Larry Trial not too far back."

"This is true. For all we know he's probably hoping this song and music video won't be a hit." The other news anchor scoffed.

"This is Red Macale we're talking about here. Winner of many various types of awards including; best singer slash songwriter, musician, model, and let's not forget who the sexiest male Irken of the century is. The video is gonna be popular whether he likes it or not." The video cut off there. Red was speechless. Leslie too. Red put the phone down. Laying back to look up at the ceiling.

"What have I done?" He whispered. Leslie looked disappointed.

"I saw a newscast similar to that on T.V. a couple days back. I thought that it was a rumor that you were going to do a scandalous music video." She said. "Let me see those stage directions." Red shook his head.

"You probably shouldn't." More silence. "They got a few facts right, I'll give them that. I don't publicly act risqué. At least they're naïve of the fact that I am extremely inappropriate when with people close to me."

"Oh yes. You get a bit raunchy at times." Leslie said. "C'mon. Let me see it. I want to know just how bad it is." Red sighed.

"Just . . . Just don't hurt me." He covered his face with shame with his arm, handed his phone to Leslie with the other. The woman took it and scanned through. Her face changing with everything that was written. Never once did she looked pleased. When she got further towards the end of the song she had to stop. She set the phone down on the nightstand and sat. Just sat there. Didn't say anything. Didn't move. She didn't even blink. The tension was killing Red. He could only imagine what she was thinking at that moment. "Les," Leslie didn't turn her head to his voice. She just grunted to let him know she was listening. "I can't even tell you how stupid I feel. I just . . ." Red's voice trailed off. "Don't be mad."

"Don't be mad?" She finally look down at him. Her voice was very quiet. Eyes narrowed in on him. "Don't be mad, Leslie, even though I'm going to use my body as a sexual toy for the entertainment of women and maybe some men. No one will think I'm a skank or anything for it. I'm just an object after all. I'm not anything important. I like it when people use me." With every line she spoke her voice grew louder. "Don't get mad? Are you fucking serious, Red?" Red sat up again so he didn't feel so vulnerable to her.

"I had no idea what I was signing up for."

"And whose goddamn fault was that? You're an idiot, Red! Now your body is going to be exposed to the universe all because you didn't feel like reading through a fucking contract! Your body all over the news, the internet, the world. Everyone will see it. Everyone will pass judgement. I'll be associated with it all as well! It's not just you, your hurting! It's me too! All because your body is mine and mine is yours. We were bound together as one on that day we wedded! Your body is for me to admire! No one else's!"

"You think I don't know that? I don't want to be exposed! I would back out of it if I could but again, there's a risk of me ending up in jail. I could be sued. I could be fired from numerous agents and producers of mine. I may loose clients. Because I backed out of a contract, they'll think that I may do the same to them and it'll hurt their business. A lot of people will let me go and it's possible I could go bankrupt because of it!" Leslie pouted. Red felt a pang of guilt hit his heart. He felt even worse when he saw tears escape her eyes. Red uttered a curse under his breath. He pulled her in for a hug. "I love you, baby, and I would never want to purposely do anything to make you look bad."

"I know you wouldn't. It's just," Leslie wiped the tears from her eyes, pulling away to look at him. She pointed at his crotch. "That's mine." Red laughed, kissing her forehead.

"I know, I know." He murmured. "Don't worry. This music video won't change me."

"I sure hope not." She wrapped him up for another hug. "Oh, I love you so much, Reddy-kins." Red chuckled.

"Heh, heh. Yeah . . . Don't call me that."

"Bugga boo."

"That too."

"Cowboy."

"I like that one better."

"Cuddle muffin."

"Okay. This can stop."

"Cutie Patootie."

"Alright. Two can play this game."

"Then play, flutter-nutter."

"Oh I will, Teddy bear."

"Bring it on, handsome."

"Will do, pumpkin."

"Give me your worst, hot mess."

"I'll serve it to you on a silver platter, hot mama."

"We'll see about that, heart throb."

"Super Strud."

"That's cute name play there, num nums."

"That was weak, shmoopy."

"I'll show you who's weak, peaches n' cream."

"Definitely not I, gorgeous."

"Cuddly-wuddly."

"Sweet Cherry Pie."

"Firm butt."

"I know. It's amazing."

"Too bad I can't squeeze it right now, it being fragile n' all."

"Oh I wouldn't hold you back from it." Red whispered, his face inching closer to hers.

"Oh you wouldn't?"

"No way."

"Okay then, big boy, I don't wanna hurt you, so instead I'll just do this." Leslie roughly pushed him back down onto the bed. She smashed her lips against his. He grabbed her waist pulling her over him.

"I'm winning." He said through their Frenching.

"Oh no you're not, Cowboy." Leslie ran her fingernails down his chest, scratching him, leaving marks in their wakes. Red tangled his fingers in her hair, pressing her head down harder on his to deepen the kiss further. "I'm going to own your broken ass." She hissed.

"Then please do." Red never broke the kiss. Their make out session only seemed to get more active and vigorous as if they wanted to devour the other after being starved for five days. "Damn, I want your babies." Leslie snickered at Red's out of line comment.

"You like to ruin our sexy moments, you know that?"

"I wanna foreplay with pudding and a ferret." Leslie laughed. The two remained lip locked the entire time. "Get the paddle baby, I have been real naughty boy."

"God, Red! Stop!" Leslie couldn't handle it. He was just so funny at the most inappropriate times. Not a mood killer. It only made her want to go down on him even more.

"If you let me fuck you, I'll give you the opportunity to see my 'I-Just-Got-The-Wind-Knocked-Outta-Me' orgasm."

"What the hell is that?" Leslie's laughs became silent as she listened to him.

"You don't know what that is?" Red pushed her away from his face. She shook her head. He noticed more tears streaming down her face. These weren't tears of sadness, however, she's been laughing too hard. "Oh my God! Well I just have to show you what it is then!"

"No, no. You don't have to do that-" Red cut her off by hitching his breath, his eyes went wide as well as his mouth.

"Oh! Oh, God!" He started to hyperventilate violently, his whole body jerked. His arms around her tightened, clenching his hands. "God! Yes! Yes! Ugh! Yeeesss! Please! There! There!" He gasped for air like a fish out of water. He threw his head back moaning loudly. Leslie gawked at his actions happening just below her. His hips gyrated. He bit his bottom lip, squeezing his eyes shut. Red's claws gripped the bed sheets. "Aaauuuuggghhhh!" Came his big finish. Leslie shushed him as best as she could. He panted hard as if he couldn't catch his breath for the life of him. Red suddenly went back to normal so quickly, Leslie questioned herself if it even happened in the first place. "Get it now?" She slowly nodded her head. Another scream of pleasure rung, but this one came through the walls from the room over. Red sat up, a wide smile on his face. "Peder, did you just fake an orgasm too?" He asked like a peppy school girl.

"What? Fake? What are you talking about! That one was real!" Came the other man's voice from his and his wife's room.

"Boy! You sure do know how to have fun over there!"

"Come join us!" A solid whacking sound followed by a yelp of pain went through the wall. "Never mind! Stay over there!"

"Oh my God! Shut the hell up!" This voice came from another room further down the hall. It was ZIM's voice. "I'm about to rip off my antenna here!"

"Make sure you recycle them!" Peder's voice called out to him.

"Just everyone stop! Please! You're traumatizing me here! Let. Me. Sleep!" This time Gaz's furious voice bellowed out. Red heard Purple cuss in the other room, saying something about, 'That girl is scary as fuck'. Red smiled contently, laying himself back down. He grinned up to his awestruck wife. "Baby, come on. Go back to sleep. You're keeping me up." Red rolled onto his un-injured side and went out like a light almost immediately, leaving Leslie to her thoughts.

"Holy shit, why did I marry you?"

---

If you survived through the pet-name battle, the loudest fake orgasm contest, and the pure stupidity of the males of the Macale family, without throwing up, you deserve a Nobel Prize . . . or a cookie. Either one.

Anyway! Is Purple's mama cray-cray or what? I don't know about you guys but . . . She just may be my favorite OC at this moment. But I like nana a bunches too. Hmm dilemma. And Red now has a sleeping disorder! Let's hope it's not severe. Narcolepsy really affects individuals social lives- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm sorry, I just fell asleep. (Imagine that being your everyday life. Not good.)

Moving on! Fun fact of this chapter! Takky and Zimmy are married! (But that wasn't a fun fact because you already know that.) Here's the fun fact, ZIM still is in Red's custody even though he's married to Tak. So they're married, they just aren't like full fledged married quite yet. Red signed a blood oath in which if he ever needed to give ZIM away for this reason, he'd need to personally give ZIM up to Tak. Oooo! Fun!

Oh! And freaking Tenn is preggers! Maybe you now realize why I asked you about all those 'P' names. I mean, what? That had nothing to do with this story. (Innocence)

Question: Out of all the characters in this story, make a list of the top five most liked. (To give me a perspective of who I should have more of in the story.)