Lavinia
I ran the whole way back to the tower, trying to calm my racing heart because I would have to face him again, but I knew he would need to know. I mean, if my sister was dying I would like to know right away. I turned the corner towards the charms hallway and slide to a stop in front of the statue of the old wart faced warlock to look into the eyes of my brother, Cassius, who was dragging a very sheepish looking Byron behind him.
We both stopped and stared for a few moments before Cass' eyes narrowed at me. "Get to bed." He said flatly, grabbing Byron's arm again like he was a child and pulling him past me. "I'm a prefect, Lavinia, and you shouldn't be out and about." He reminded me like I didn't know.
I tried to catch Byron's eyes but he looked steadily down at the floor and I mentally sneered at him. Some Gryffindor he was. "Wait…" I tried to stop them as they passed me only to get another sharp glare from my brother who was dressed in his pajamas just like I was. "Cassius, please." I said, trying to stall him as I formulated how exactly I was going to say what I needed to. "I just ran into Gavin."
By this time they were almost at the end of the hallway and I had to jog to keep up with them. "That's just wonderful." He said sarcastically. Byron opened his mouth to say something but Cassius cut him off. "I am so pissed off at you right now I suggest you don't speak."
What a jerk Cassius is.
"Sam is in the hospital wing." That made both their footsteps stop. "Gavin said he found her all bloody in some classroom."
This time Byron stood up straight, letting my brother's hand drop from his arm and for the first time his cool eyes met mine. "What do you mean?" He said, like a man coming out of a daze and my eyes watch his lips. It makes my body tingle again but I ignore it.
I look between them both, slightly biting my lip and playing with my watch because I'm nervous and have nothing else to do. I shrug my shoulders and look at Cassius because Byron makes me blush.
"I don't know. He just said it was really bad."
Something must have happened between them because they exchange a look and Cassius nods the slightest bit. With out another glance at me Byron takes off running and I'm about to ask where he's going but Cassius beats me to it.
"Go to bed, Lavinia." He says before taking off in the exact same direction.
Screw that.
I put some of my hair behind my ears, letting myself be surprised for half a second because of how short it is now before following him. I'm curious now and for some reason I want to be there for… him… if he's upset. After all I did kiss him, didn't I? So that should mean something.
Their legs are longer and they're a lot faster than I am so by the time I get to the hospital wing they are already inside. I peek my head inside to see Cassius being pushed out of the room by a frizzy haired nurse.
"It is past visiting hours, Mr. Malfoy." She tells him as she pushes him towards the doorway…. Towards me.
He brushes her hand off and glares. "You're letting Byron stay."
"He's family and I'm only giving him fifteen minutes. Now, shoo."
With one final push he is out in the hallway with me and the door shuts in his face. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breathes before flicking his eyes to me.
"I told you to go to bed." I don't say anything. I just stare at him and cross my arms over my chest because I'm cold. "What happened to your hair?" He says as he puts his hands in his pockets and leans against the wall after finally accepting the fact that he won't be allowed back in the room.
He doesn't know about the whole thing with Byron. I guess that's kind of a relief in a way. "I cut it." I mumble as I bring a hand up to my shorter locks.
He nods his head and closes his eyes, letting his head drop back against the stone wall. "It is too fucking early for this." He says and I look down at my watch to see what the time is.
It's five thirty in the morning. I look out the window and see the dawn starting to break against the trees of the forbidden forest and a yawn escapes my lips. Thank goodness tomorrow's Saturday.
"Why are you out of bed?" He asks and when I look back to him he's looking right at me with a suspicious glint in his eyes.
I shrug. "I couldn't sleep."
"How did you know that Byron was out of bed?"
"What?"
He stands up straight and narrows his eyes as he looks down at me. He's trying to be intimidating. "You were going to find Byron to tell him about his sister after Gavin told you, weren't you?" I stare again, trying to think of what to say. "You knew where he was. Why is that?"
I feel like I'm being interrogated right now and that sharp look Cassius has in his eyes makes me feel like it's my Father who's doing it. I really don't know what to say and I don't want to tell the truth because I have a feeling that would be bad so I just turn away and shrug.
"I was going to Gryffindor tower to tell you guys." I lie.
"Right… Even though the tower is on the other side of the castle. Real believable, Lavinia."
"It's none of your business what I do." I snap, not able to look at him as I watch the window. It's starting to rain and the water is splashing against the glass.
"I'm your brother…" He starts and I shiver at the cold again, trying to ignore him. I don't even know why I'm standing here anymore. It's weird. I should go back to my room. "You're cold." He states, his voice not as hateful as before.
I nod my head. I think it's pretty obvious by the goose bumps on my skin. "Here." I look to him as he said that and he hands me the thick wool jumper he was wearing. "You can wear it."
He folds his arms over the dark t-shirt he's wearing as I put on the blue jumper he offered me. "Thank you." I say softly, letting the warmness from his body help my own.
"You should go back to your room now." He says as he runs his hands through his already messed up hair. "I'm just waiting on Byron and then we're going back to the tower. You won't miss anything."
The stubbornness I was initially holding onto leaves me as I nod my head. I really don't know what good I'm doing by standing here like this. Before I get a chance to leave someone comes barreling down the hallway making me freeze to my spot.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Jason Weasley snaps as Cassius squares his shoulders in his direction.
"I could ask you the same thing."
Now they're standing about a foot away from each other. Jason Weasley is wearing a pair of matching flannel pj's with black slippers. His hair is all messed up and his eyes seem thick with sleep, like he just woke up not too long ago. It looks like we're having a slumber party right here in the hallway. If everything wasn't so serious I would laugh.
"Is Samantha in there?" Weasley asks, pointing to the hospital door.
Cassius clenches his jaw and something I can't place flashes in his eyes. "How would you know?"
"Look, she told me to meet her in one of the third floor classrooms at four. I sleep through it and when I got there she wasn't there but there was this… blood on the ground. So I thought…"
"You didn't listen to me, did you?" Cassius hisses and I can tell he's angry. Really angry that something just dawned on him. "I warned you and you didn't listen!"
His yell made me jump and it echoed off the walls. Weasley looked a little out of sorts as well and he took a step back.
"You fucking prick."
With that Cassius pushed him and Weasley stumbled back again, nearly tripping. "I didn't do anything." He hissed as he fixed his glasses that became askew from the impact of the push. "I didn't do a goddamn thing to her."
"You liar. You're a fucking liar."
I walked back until my back hit the wall as I watched my brother ready himself for another attack. I don't think I've ever seen him so angry and I really think he might kill Jason this time. Before he does anything, thankfully, the door opens and Byron steps out. He looks glassy eyed and upset as he takes in what's about to happen before him.
"Is she alright?" Cassius relaxes his tense stance and Weasley gets some color back to his face.
Byron sends one look to Weasley before walking away with out a word. All three of us watch him with blank look on our faces before Weasley finally speaks.
"What is going on here?"
Cass snaps him a glare. "You're going to get kicked out of school for this one, Jason." He says before coming towards me and grabbing my arm. "You're going to bed now. I'm not arguing with you again." He says flatly and I listen to him this time.
Weasley calls to us as we walk away, saying he didn't do anything but Cassius ignores him. He walks me all the way back to my dorm with out uttering one single word to me and that kind of worries me more than anything. The sun is out and shining when I craw into my bed and close the curtains tight around myself to ward off the light as I sit in the center of my bed with my knees drawn up to my chest.
A couple of hours ago I had my first kiss, I actually kissed a boy. Not just any boy…. The boy. I bring my fingers up to my lips expecting them to tingle or be on fire, but they're cold. I think of Samantha and Cassius… and even Jason Weasley in the hallway and it makes what happened to me tonight seem so insignificant. It's disappointing.
I can't fall asleep and I wake up when the rest of my door does. I don't say one word about the whole hair cutting fiasco from last night as I style my new shorter hair and ignore the way the Serena is gawking at me. I get dressed in a green day dress with brown boots and I stick my wand behind my ear as I make my way down to breakfast alone, pulling on my white cardigan as I do so.
I sit by myself and pick at my food as I watch the Gryffindor table, waiting for any sign of my brother or Byron to try to explain to me what's going on. No one comes and of course Gavin won't be waking up until two. So I can't ask him any questions until then. He sleeps longer than anyone I've ever met. As I'm stabbing my bacon with my fork someone sits down across from me and I look up, slightly surprised to see that Daniella girl who Cassius dates sitting before me.
"Room mate trouble?" She asks me as I watch her suspiciously. She shifts some of her dark hair over her shoulder as I raise an eyebrow. "It's just they're all sitting down there." She points to Serena and the rest of my mates at the end of the table. "And you're all by yourself."
I almost ask her why she cares but I stop myself from being rude. "I suppose so." I say softly as I watch her look around the room. Probably looking for Cassius as well… I have to admit the brown hair doesn't make her look as intimidating as the blonde.
"I heard they took your brother into the office this morning for questioning." She comments and my eyes snap to hers.
"Cassius?"
She shakes her head. "Gavin. I heard it's because he did something bad to Samantha Flint." She looks at me and tightens her eyes a bit as I look around the room. Everyone is whispering to each other. "I don't believe that, though. Gavin can be a real jerk sometimes but he's not that bad."
"Yeah," I say as I stand up, letting my fork drop on my plate. "I have to go."
"Do you know where Cassius is?" She asks but I ignore her.
Again, I have no idea where I'm going but I start off towards the hospital wing. I feel all out of sorts now. Like I'm caught up in a story that's not really mine. I pause a second in the hallway to gather my thoughts together. Maybe I should visit Samantha and give her flowers or something. That would be good, right?
As I think about it I hear a faint thump come from one of the classrooms. I hold my breath and tilt my head waiting for the sound again. When the muffled thump happens again I attempt to follow the noise that leads me to a closed door. I turn the handle and let it pop open, almost nervous to see what's inside.
It's an empty classroom that Filch has obviously cleaned recently because all of the chairs are standing on top of the wooden desks. The light coming in from the windows makes a checkered pattern through out the room and the dust shimmers in the sun rays. I hear the thump again and crane my neck to look around the desks so I can see what it is.
Byron is sitting in one of the chairs off on the far side of the room. He's looking out of the window with this flat look on his face, not seeming to have heard me step in…. or if he did he just doesn't care. He lets his forehead fall against the glass and it makes that strange thumping noise again as the window rattles. I take a step closer to him, not totally sure what to do as he bangs his head against the window another time. Is he crazy?
"By… Byron?" I stutter like a fool. He doesn't look at me so I take a step closer. Another thump of his head against the glass has me chewing on my lower lip. "Are you alright?"
Should I go get a nurse? Is he having some weird episode right now? His hands are lying loosely on his thighs and he's wearing the exact same thing he was wearing last night letting me know that he never changed. Another step closer lets me get a better look at his profile. Is he crying? I immediately think of Samantha and how something terrible must have happened to her to make him act this way. Another step closer and another smack against the window has me thinking desperately of something to say or something I could do to comfort him.
I think of my Mother. What would she do if this was Dad? She would probably wrap her arms around his torso and kiss his neck like I've seen her do a million times before when he was stressed, but I can't do that. It's too personal… Another thing she does is run her fingers through his hair to calm him down… she does that to all of us. I bring a shaky hand out and once I'm close enough I timidly touch his hair. When he doesn't throw my hand off of him I carefully run my fingers through the thick hair at the back of his head, feeling how smooth and soft it is.
He breathes in deeply as I do this and he drops his head. Thankfully he doesn't hit it against the window again. What is that all about?
"It's alright." I whisper as I continue to play with his hair, my other hand I bring up to his shoulder in another attempt at comforting him and I let my chest press into his back.
"No, it's not." He says with a sigh. "She won't be able to have kids anymore." He turns his head and looks at me with bloodshot eyes making my hand fall from his hair. "She'll never have a baby and it's my fault. She almost died."
"No, it's not." I say softly, not totally sure what's happening right now. "It's not your fault."
"Yes, it is." He stands up and I take a step back. "I should have known better. I shouldn't have… I should have known this would happen."
"What are you talking about?" I question as he runs his hands over his eyes. He straightens his spine and looks out the window again, like he's deciding something.
I go to touch him again, just because I like touching him but he jerks away. The move hurts me but I don't let it show. Instead I cross my arms.
"What happened?" I ask softly, while watching him closely.
He looks so sad right now. He reminds me of a painting I saw at Mom's Gallery once of a young man with dark hair who was crying in front of a laurel tree. Apollo's mourning of Daphne was the name and I remember thinking it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. That's what he looks like to me right now… like some God in pain… Jesus, I've turned into some kind of pathetic girl, haven't I?
"Nothing can ever go right." He says, and I'm not sure he even remembers I'm in the room. "Everything around me gets ruined."
"That's not true." I say that because I really have nothing else. I'm not very good at this. "This isn't your fault."
"What do you know?" He snaps and I flinch.
"I know this isn't your fault." I say confidently and he clenches his eyes shut like he was in pain so I touch his arm. His back is to me so I figure I might as well hug him like my Mother holds my Father.
I go to wrap my arms around him but he retracts like I was the plague. "Don't touch me." He says and I feel like he just hit me. "I don't want you to ever touch me again. Do you understand?" I don't so I stare at him with my mouth hanging open. Not totally sure where that venom in his voice is coming. "Do you understand?" He snaps again and I stupidly nod my head.
With that he leaves the room with me staring after him like some kind of idiot. When I'm sure he's away I turn back to the window with tears stinging my eyes feeling like the biggest kind of fool.
Gavin
"I'm telling you, sir. I found her like that." I hiss again. They seem to not believe me and the head master whispers something to Slughorn who shakes his head.
"Mr. Malfoy. I really hate to say it but you don't exactly have the best reputation with girls in your class."
I clench my fists and stand up. "Why don't you ask her fucking boyfriend what happened to her."
"Please take a seat, Gavin." That's Slughorn and he seems sympathetic to my cause right now. "We're just trying to get answers. You said you found her in one of the old charms classrooms."
"Yes," I sigh and sit down, running a hand through my hair. "I heard noises, like someone was in pain and I followed them. I saw Flint lying on the floor and I picked her up and ran her to the hospital wing."
"Why were awake and walking around the castle at that time?" Headmaster Spinnit asks me.
That question kind of took me off guard because I can't rightly say I was sneaking into the girls showers and was walking around the castle in an invisibility cloak… They already seem to think I'm sexually promiscuous. I don't need them to think I'm a pervert as well.
"I was upset." I lie as I look down at my knees. Time to the play the poor pitiful me card. "With all this stuff happening with my family... I just wanted to take a walk."
"Have you ever had sexual relations with Miss. Flint?"
I'm surprised the old cogger said that with out batting an eyelash. "No." I say in disgust at the thought. "I have a girlfriend."
"Mr. Malfoy, I'm going to be blunt with you." He sits forward and puts his hands on his desk and Slughorn stands straight and puffs out his chest, making his vest nearly pop off of his fat stomach. "The potion Miss Flint consumed was to abort her pregnancy. It wasn't made properly and will have serious consequences for her for the rest of her life. Now, you were up and in that hallway at the time this was happening and we have more than one account of your promiscuous ways. Please, do not lie to us."
I shake my head. I knew this was going to happen. "She said something about him coming back. She told me to get Jason Weasley before I picked her up and ran to the nurse. I didn't do this."
Spinnit sighed and stared at me for a while, like he was waiting for me to say something, to admit something to him. I flick a glance to Slughorn before standing up.
"Listen, I didn't do this. I don't care if you believe me or not but after what you allowed Potter do to my sister I wouldn't be surprised if they fire you after I tell my Father about this."
When poor little rich boy doesn't work… I have a big bad powerful rich father usually does. I'm not above doing it.
"We'll talk again. You may leave."
Right. I send one more annoyed sneer to them before leaving the stupid office. This has been one totally fucked up year. That's all I can say. I take the stairs two at a time headed towards that charms classroom again where I found bloody Samantha Flint lying on the floor. I forgot about my cloak and I pray that it's still there. It was really fun to have that thing.
The over whelming sense of anger and disappointment I feel when I find that it's not in the room is annoying. That means someone took it.
"Fuck." I say to myself before kicking a nearby chair.
I should have just left her in this stinking room I think bitterly as I make my way back to my dorm with my hands stuffed in the pockets of my jeans. Fucking girls and their fucking problems… I don't think I will ever get married. I don't understand why anyone would. Having a wife and kids would just mess up my life I think.
I'm more like my Dad than anyone and I still don't understand why he wanted to get married so young and so badly. I mean, I know what he did to get my Mom. She didn't even like him then. She didn't want to be with him so he took matters into his own hands. There was a possibility that she would always hate him and he could have been happy with some Death Eater Fan girl who would be happy just to look at him.
It was about sacrifice. My Father gave up a chance at normalcy he could have had with another woman because of his obsession with my mother… and I think my Mom made the ultimate sacrifice by eventually falling in love with him. By choosing my Dad and our family she cut off everything else she knew like her family and the life she had before… Relationships are just too complicated and I'm too selfish to care. I don't think I would ever want to deal with it. See, if I was my Dad I wouldn't have gone to all that trouble to ruin her life and if I was my Mother I would never allow myself to love him. I mean, I'm glad that they worked things out and everything… I would not be alive if they didn't but still… I just don't get the drama.
I give the password to go into my common room and when the door swings open I'm face to face with Lucy Zabini who drops the magazine she was holding as she stares at me. She's been ignoring my existence all year.
"Malfoy." She says tightly as she bends down to pick up her magazine. I don't help.
"Zabini."
"Will you move, please? I need to get through."
See, girls are bitches. "Hey, remember when we use to be friends?" I state as I grab the thing she was holding so I can flip through it. It's the truth too, we use to be really good friends until this year.
"That was before I found out what murdering psycho's your parents were."
"Oh, really." I say as I look through the glossy pages before me. It's a tabloid, totally dedicated to my family. She goes to grab it but I hold it out of her reach. "You know, your father and my father use to be best mates." I bait as I look at a picture of my parents kissing in the snow.
"Shut up and give that back." She says as she elbows me in the stomach.
I double over but in a flare of anger I push past her with the magazine still clutched in my hands. "I could tell you a few stories on what my murdering psychotic dad and your Daddy did back in the day. I'm sure you wouldn't see old Blaise Zabini as the saint you think of him now." I say and laugh when she pulls her wand out and points it at me.
My Dad told me lots of stories of when he and Blaise were at Hogwarts. They were no angels and the way I see it Zabini was ten times worse than my father ever was.
"Give it back, Malfoy." She hisses as I walk over to the fireplace, ignoring the threat of a curse from her wand.
"Why? This whole thing is about my family." I say and she has the curtsey to blush by that. "You know you could just ask me anything and I would tell you."
I flick to a page and smirk. "The Real Draco Malfoy." I read the headline in bold yellow letters. "His life as a Deatheater." I rip the page and throw it into the fire as she hisses at me. "I could tell you all you wanted to know." I say with narrowed eyes as her wand hand twitches. "He became a Death Eater when he was sixteen. He never told me what he had to do to get the mark but it wasn't pretty. He told me once that your Dad had to murder a whole muggle family for it."
"Stop it!" She screams at me and I'm glad there's no one here in the room right now so I can take out all my anger this way.
"He never really regretted his decision but he was glad when it was over." Another tear of the page that I throw into the flame. "When the Dark Lord over took the ministry he went and got my Mom from her home." She lowers her wand and watches me like she wants to kill me but I don't care. "They got married… it was rough at first, granted that she was a blood traitor and he was working his way up the Death Eater latter." Another page goes into the fire. "But things worked out for them I suppose and here I am… I have two younger sisters so we both know things are still working for them in that area."
"I don't care, Gavin. Stop it." She says, now looking slightly afraid of me.
"Why? Don't you want to know?" I tear another page out and read it. "The Minister's private torture of muggle born servants." I click my tongue at the headline. "This I don't know much about but I do know they weren't really servants, now were they? They were more like property and I suspect they were treated more like animals than people. In fact, once I overheard a story about your Dad. Do you want to hear it?"
She shakes her head as her eyes become blurry with tears. I don't know why the fuck she's crying. "My Mom walked in on him fucking one of their servants back in the day. It's still a sore spot between my parents because apparently your Dad was raping her and my Dad took his side, thinking he didn't do anything bad. I would bet money that he was really forcing himself on her." I say just to hurt her because I'm upset right now.
"You're such a bastard." She says as she turns to walk away.
"Don't you want to know more?" I ask as I hold up that stupid magazine that's full of pictures of my family. "You read the books you read the magazines but you don't want to hear it from a source that would know?"
She slams the door on the way out and I glance once more at the thing in my hands before throwing it into the fire. I watch the flames eat it up before going upstairs to listen to music so I can calm down a bit. I kick off my shoes and rub my neck as an owl taps on the window when I reach my room.
It's my Dads and I cuss to myself before letting it in. It's carrying a large package and I pet it's feathers before it flies off with out a treat. It's a pompous animal. Nothing my Dad owns could be modest. I sit down on the bed, staring at the parcel in my hands before ripping open the brown paper and holding up what's inside. It's a blue and silver Falcon's jersey with their mascot sewn across the front. It must be their new uniform.
The small card falls on my lap and I pick it up to read the inscription.
Gavin,
I thought you would like this. It's the new uniform the Falcons will be wearing after this season and I helped design them. I'm really happy about it so let me know what you think. I hope you like it. Of course your father thinks they look too complicated for a Quidditch uniform but what does he know.
Can't wait to see you over break.
I love you,
Mom
I smile at the smooth material in my hands and I turn it around to look at the back. Number thirteen, Rudolph Leary's number… Mom did good, this does look nice. She really is starting to branch out and do her own thing. I set the jersey on the bed and lay back with my hands folded behind my head like a pillow as I stare up at my green and silver canopy with this weird feeling settling on my chest.
Cassius
Weasley swears up and down that he didn't do it but I can't believe him. I refuse to. This is all his fault. Of course Samantha is being all tight lipped about the situation. It's like she'd rather have my brother go through the ringer instead of piping up and saying the truth. The truth being that her precious boyfriend who knocked her up almost killed her and fucked up her uterus.
Byron has been ignoring everyone and refusing to speak to people. His Mom and Molly Weasley had to come to the school and talk to Samantha. I was sitting outside with Byron when that happened and they both came out with tears in their eyes because of the situation. Of course I wasn't acknowledged but it still kind of stung when they started talking to Byron, pretending that I wasn't standing right there.
I'm walking down the hallway, holding Daniella's hand as we make our way outside. She hasn't been talking my ear off and I'm grateful for that. I think she understands that I'm not in the mood to talk.
"Do you want to sit down or walk around?" I ask when we get outside. It's warmer out today than it was yesterday but the ground is still all muddy from the rain.
She shrugs and leans into me a bit more. "We could walk around if you'd like."
"Right." I mumble as we step onto the brick lined path that leads towards the lake.
We make it halfway around the lake when Daniella breaks the silence. "So, I read in the paper that your Dad is in Russia?" She says softly. I think it's kind of endearing that she reads the real news paper… I wasn't really sure she could read when we started dating.
I nod my head. "Yeah, he's there trying to smooth out some werewolf problem they've got there."
"Did your Mom go with him?" She asks curiously as she stares at me. She always stares at me. "I always love seeing pictures of your Mom. She's so pretty and she always wears the best clothes."
I rub the back of my neck and a twig crunches under my shoe. "No, Evelyn has a dance recital so she didn't go."
"You're little sister is cute." She says. "She looks a lot like you." I nod my head. Of course she does, because she looks a lot like Dad too. He has a lot of dominate genes I guess. That much is obvious.
We walk the curve of the lake, closer to the forbidden forest and my thoughts travel all over the place until Daniella tugs on my hand again.
"What is it?" I ask, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.
She points off to the edge of the forest. "Isn't that your friend?"
When I focus my gaze I can tell it's him. Sitting on the ground with his back against a thick tree. He's writing in his journal with this intense look on his pale face.
"Come on." I start pulling her the opposite way but she stops me.
"Aren't you going to go talk to him?" She asks with a confused look on her face.
I shake my head. "He won't talk to anyone." I say like she was stupid and she narrows her eyes.
"Go talk to him, Cassius. He probably needs a friend."
When did she become the better person? I scoff at her for a second before she pushes me towards the tree that Byron is sulking under.
"I'll meet you inside." She says with an amused smile.
I shake my head as she walks off and I reluctantly turn around and walk towards my moody mute best friend. I look in disgust at the muddy ground he's sitting on before leaning against the tree with my arms crossed as he scribbles down in his stupid journal.
"It's warm out today." I say to the scratches of his quill. His fingers are stained with ink and a mark is across his cheek.
It's like pulling teeth trying to get him to talk so I just sigh and stand there in silence as he writes what ever the hell it is that he writes.
"Was this what you were going to tell me that one day?" He asks and the noise startles me. He looks up at me so I get a better look at the ink smeared on his face. "That one day when you said it was important and it was about my sister. You knew she was pregnant."
I stare into his blue eyes and nod my head. "You told me not to tell you, remember…"
He nods his head and shuts his journal. "I've been a terrible friend to you this year, Cassius." He says and it catches me off guard.
"No you haven't." I say with a roll of my eyes. He always blames himself for everything.
"I have." He says more fiercely. "You know… You know, I knew about the plan this year."
"What plan?"
"None of it was coincidental." He says and I push off the tree so I'm towering over him.
"What are you talking about?" I ask as I unclasp my cloak and lay it on the ground beside him so I can sit down. When I'm sitting by his side he continues after taking a deep breath.
"Hermione's book, Potter teaching here, Jacob's assassination attempt… It was all planned, you know." He rubs one of his eyes with the heel of his palm. "Even the Weasley's trying to get back in touch with your Mom. It wasn't coincidental."
"What does that mean?" I ask with a tight voice as he stares out over the lake.
"They wanted your Dad gone, out of power and away from your Mother."
"Who's they?" I cut him off and his eyes flick to me.
He shakes his head and looks away. "I'm a terrible friend. I knew and I didn't tell you."
"Why wouldn't you?" I snap at him.
"I don't know." He says softly. "I don't know." He mumbles. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you… but I just couldn't."
Anger boils inside of me as I stare out at the stupid lake again, trying to figure out what I should do with that information. I can't believe he wouldn't tell me all of that.
He laughs a little like a crazy person before stretching out his legs. "Did you know that my Mom tried to kill me when I was a baby?"
"No, I didn't." I say flatly.
"It's one of the stories my Dad always loved telling me when he was drunk. He would tell me that after I was born my Mom hated me so much that she tried to drown me in the sink." He laughs a little again and I'm convinced he's lost his mind. "He said he stopped her but every time I did something wrong he would say that it was a mistake. How he should have just let her kill me. Isn't it funny that it was a monster like Marcus who saved my life, not my own mother…"
"I'm sorry, Byron." I say because what else can you say to that. "It's not fair what you had to go through."
"When Samantha told me she was pregnant all I could think about was my Mom and how unhappy I made her."
"You knew?"
He nods his head and starts chewing on his quill. "She was really upset. She said Jason was pissed at her because of it and she wanted to get rid of it because she didn't want to be saddled with a baby. My Mom was around her age when she had me and I just… I didn't know what to think."
I let my head drop to my knees. This is way too much to handle right now.
"You're lucky, Cassius." He says after a few short moments of silence. I don't feel very lucky right now. "Hermione said that when your Mom was staying with them in that cabin, when you were just a baby… your Mom told her everything about what happened with your Dad. She wrote it in the book."
"I know." I say tightly.
"When she found out she was going to have you she wanted to kill herself." That doesn't make me feel any better. Thanks Byron. "She said she even opened the window and stood up on the ledge…"
"Where is this going?" I snap, annoyed that he's telling me about my family and how fucked up we are.
"She didn't do it." He says, unfazed by my discomfort. "She chose you. My Mom was stuck with me and had to learn to love me but your Mom decided she wanted you from the beginning. I didn't want Sam to have to go through that and she's not like your Mom. She didn't want it."
"What are you saying?" I ask carefully, unsure of where this is going.
"She came to me two weeks ago." He says sadly, blinking his eyes and licking his lips. "She said Jason wouldn't make that potion for her anymore. That he wasn't comfortable with it. She was crying and she didn't want anyone to know. She told me she would throw herself down the stairs if I didn't help her."
"Byron…"
"I made the potion and gave it to her on Friday. I thought I was helping." He looks at me looking totally hopeless. "I read the directions so carefully and I measured all the ingredients. I thought I did it right. I'm not as good with potions as you are but I thought I did it right. You should have seen her, Cassius. She…" He shakes his head and looks away. "So I gave it to her and I couldn't watch her do it. I couldn't… so I went back to the tower where they were having that party. I told her I was going to come back but I started drinking and then I passed out when you made me go to bed so I panicked and got up."
"I can't believe…" He put his hand up to cut me off.
"Just let me finish." I nodded my head as he picked at the leather covering of his journal. "She was fine when I went down there again. She said she was waiting on Jason to tell him that she wasn't pregnant anymore so I left again, telling her I'd stop by later. That's when I met up with your sister."
"My sister?" I snap at him and he nods his head, a blush playing on his cheeks.
"I didn't know it would hurt her. Cassius, I fucked up big time."
I lean back against the tree, feeling like he just unloaded a whole pile of bricks on my chest.
"You have to tell someone."
He nods his head. "I know. Samantha doesn't want me to. She says it was her fault because she begged me but I should have known better."
"They've questioned my brother twice, Byron."
"I know."
I stand up and offer him my hand to help him up. "Come on." I say as I pull him to his feet.
As we're walking back to the castle Byron keeps his head down and I try not to explode as my temper rises inside of me.
"I'm sorry about all of this, Cass."
I sigh as I look at him before we step into the school. "I know you are."
"I just… I ruin everything." He says and I don't respond.