I do not own American Horror Story: Freak Show.

But it will always be near and dear to my heart.

And Baby Makes Four

Jimmy and the Monkey

". . . very, uh, curious. Okay . . ."

Daddy Jimmy's bedtime story reading paused.

At first Bette and Dot, finishing their straightening of the kitchen, . . .

"Why don't you girls leave that until later."

"But Jimmy, the dishes will dry dirty. We'll never get the gunk off them."

"So soak 'em. No reason you two should slave over stuff that can wait. Come be with us."

"Yeah, Ma-Ba, Ma-Da. Come play dolls."

. . . took no notice.

Jimmy was right, sister. This is much more relaxing.

Yes, it is.

They continued in their domestic chores, lost pleasantly in thought.

That turned out to be one and the same.

I love when he reads to her.

It's so sweet.

All was quiet and calm and peaceful.

We have a good life, Dot.

Yes, we do, Bette.

Then . . .

"Where did you get this book?"

They turned to see their Jimmy, hook hands deftly balancing the yellow hardback children's book he had been reading moments ago to his child as if it were a snake.

A stern frown furrowed his handsome visage.

"Jimmy? What is it?"

What's going on, sister?

I don't know, Bette. I only read your mind.

"Where did this book come from?" Jimmy reiterated.

Bewildered Dot, powder blue kitchen glove on her hand, waved vaguely.

"Lucy brought it on loan from the library."

Bette, pink kitchen gloved hand resting on her hip, stared quizzically at her husband.

"Jimmy?"

His face was priceless.

"The monkey!"

Sister?

"Yes? What?"

You've got me.

"He's stoned!"

The Tattler-Darling-Walker Siamese Twins stared uncomprehendingly at the father of their precious little seven-almost-eight year old heterchromiated daughter.

"What?!"

Jimmy, former freakshow member.

Juggling Lobster Boy.

Chaser of girls.

Avid opium/orgy party participant.

Was offended.

Mortified.

Incensed.

"The stupid monkey is stoned on ether! What the hell is wrong with this writer?! What the hell is wrong with Lucy bringing my child this book?! What the-"

Together, as always, for there could no other way for them, Bette and Dot stepped forward.

Gently dislodged the book from Jimmy's metal grasp.

And sat down with it at the freshly cleaned kitchen table.

Jimmy hovered over the shoulders as they opened the book.

Dot surmised the events briefly as she turned the pages one at a time . . .

Curious George the monkey . . .

. . . as Bette . . .

Oh, he's so cute!

. . . provided some slightly distracting color commentary.

. . . gets a job . . .

Wait, why is he on a construction site?

. . . breaks his leg . . .

Oh my goodness, who sends their pet to work up on a steel girder?!

. . . goes to the hospital . . .

I don't think he's a pet, Bette.

. . . wanders around . . .

More like a . . . really hairy . . . adopted monkey son?

. . . and finds a giant bottle of . . .

Why is a monkey in a human hospital unattended?

. . . ether.

And why is a giant bottle of ether sitting out on the floor?

"There, right there," Jimmy demanded, pointing a hook.

Dot, now nearly completely turned around, began to read aloud to keep her thoughts straight.

". . . his head began to turn . . ."

Oh . . .

". . . then he felt like he were flying . . ."

. . . my . . .

". . . then rings and stars danced before his eyes . . ."

. . . goodness, Dot.

". . . then everything went dark."

Dot stopped reading, aghast.

The cartoon monkey on the page lay flat on his back in front of a giant bottle marked 'Ether'.

With a completely estatic and clearly euphoric smile on his unconcious baby simian face.

"See," Jimmy proclaimed triumphantly. "That damn monkey was high! Why are they writing this for children to read?!

His overly dramatic response to what was most definitely an unexpected twist to a seemingly harmless children's storybook might have been funny to his loving wives.

Considering the tawdry and murderous situations in which he had been involved with over the earlier years of his life.

If not for the fact . . .

"Daddy, are we going to finish the story now?"

. . . that Bette and Dot were just as baffled as he was.

"No, we are not!" Daddy Jimmy declared.

Turning abruptly away from the offensive text. Carefully scooping up his little white night gown clad, curly haired little girl in his arms.

And stomping decisively from the room.

"But Daddy, I want to know what happened to Curious George!" Annabelle Margaret protested in outrage.

Jimmy's voice was fading as he sojourned with his precious progeny back to her dimly lit room.

"I'll tell you what happened! Curious George woke up and it was all a dream and he was safe in his bed and he got up and went to school like a good boy!"

Annabelle's sweet little voice was strangely adult and long-suffering as she spoke.

"Daddy, he's a monkey."

"Monkey," her father amended obediently.

"And anyway, how can a monkey go to school, Daddy? He'll poop everywhere-"

Oh good lord, sister.

I know, Bette.

Dorothy Jean turned the next page.

"Oh, well," she intoned wearily. "At least he lives."

The next day they returned Curious George Gets a Job to their good friend and next door neighbor, Lucy .

With a brief discussion of concern for some of the finer plot points of the cheery tale.

Evenso, at random moments over the next few weeks, they would hear muttered grumbling trailing off after their usually bouyant lifepartner.

". . . baby monkey . . . high as a kite . . . children's book, my ass . . ."

Once, the beginnings of a further inquiry . . .

"Daddy, can we get some more books about monke-"

"NO, WE MAY NOT!"

. . . ended rather abruptly.

And they eventually moved on to other . . .

"The Travels of Doctor Dolittle. Oh crap. Does he gets tanked too, you know, talking to animals and all?"

"No, Jimmy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, we checked."

. . . less controversial tales.

"Daddy, you're silly."

"No, baby girl, I'm paranoid."

"No, you're silly."

"Okay, I'm silly and paranoid. Come on, let's read."

Hello again!

Yep, totally not making up the Curious George thing.

*facepalm*

And people think I'm weird.

Anyway, thanks to King Reeses, autumnrose2010, and brigid1318 for reviewing.

I plan to start back working on this tale again little more consistently for a while. I've always known where I wanted it to go, I just got distracted with other things.

So see you again soon!