Hello dear readers! So I saw the Green Hornet tonight and it was good. I like humor in all things, and this definitely was a dash of kickassness in a comedy movie. All in all quite good. I would recommend it if you like funny and you like action and also pretty boys who speak in broken English and/or normal bodied men who are adorably funny.

So, of course the title lyric is taken from Neil Diamond/Noah Puckerman's "Sweet Caroline". I hope that you enjoy...

Misfit Toy Hero Squad

Chapter 26 – "Good Times Never Felt So Rushed"

Regardless of gender, the average teenager has a sexual thought every 2.3 seconds. Teenagers who are performers or athletes tend to have a sexual thought every 1.8 seconds. Teenagers who are highly intelligent have a sexual thought every 1.3 seconds.

Teenagers who are performers and athletic and supernaturally gifted? They never stop thinking about sex. Ever.

"Here you go Stubbs…that's a good boy Stubbs…you want the Cheeto? You have to clunk along with us to get the Cheeto…just a little bit farther."

"Oh my God, Finn…he doesn't want any Cheetos!" Kurt hissed from the passenger seat of the golfmobile they were sitting in. They could have taken a faster and warmer car from the garage of their new underground home, but Finn had insisted that the golfmobile would have been much cooler. Kurt had never wanted to smack the back of Blaine's head more when he had enthusiastically agreed. It was as if Blaine was trying to get on Finn's good side for suspicious and mysterious reasons. Kurt spared a glare back at his step-brother and Mercedes as they sat turned in the opposite direction, facing the loud and obnoxious Robot that was following them to the underground facility.

Luckily Stubbs had been zooming along on a back road with wheels that Brittany had apparently installed at some point during their stay underneath McKinley. It was well past one in the morning in Lima, Ohio and the freezing cold roads had been deserted by all of humanity. They weren't taking any chances however, Blaine was driving the golf mobile due to his need to quote random lines from Caddyshack, and also due to the fact that if they had to blip out of there and leave Stubbs behind, he would be better equipped to drive to wherever they would transport to.

Mercedes was clutching Finn's hand for a lot of reasons at that very moment.

One, his hand was very warm and it was seriously 10 degrees at that moment. Her hands were always cold and Finn's hands were always ridiculously warm, although not Puck level fire ball warm, so it only seemed logical that he should lend some body heat through their clenched hands.

Two, she was maintaining a complicated vision that surrounded them and the robot, so that if anyone would drive by them, they wouldn't see a huge hunk of metal zooming down the street behind a golf cart with four teenagers in it. Holding Finn's hand seemed to be giving her a slight energy boost. She had errantly wished she could have just cast a repelling charm for Muggles, a suggestion to which Blaine had showed immense confusion, thereby losing any brownie points he may have scored from an incredulous Finn.

Three, she really just kind of wanted to hold his hand.

She looked over at him carefully, wondering what was going on in that every surprising brain of his. No less than three weeks ago, he had been the conductor of the I Love Rachel Berry train. No less than three weeks ago she had convinced herself yet again that high school romance was for suckers and she LOVED being a strong, single female. Of course this was after filling out three pages of her journal while sobbing her lonely eyes out, but still, she had eventually convinced herself that she didn't need a boyfriend.

And now they were holding hands, had enjoyed an impromptu middle school dance, he had kissed her forehead in a touching and intense way that sort of made her think that he thought of her as more than his black sister from another mister. Finn was grinning out into the night back at Stubbs as he held out a Cheeto and whispered his encouragement to the robot instead. He felt her staring and turned, his grin never fading as he shrugged,

"What's up? Don't call me dumb like Kurt does. I couldn't take it," Finn turned slightly to try and make his step-brother feel bad about hurting his feelings, but Kurt only scoffed and began muttering things about emergency rooms and making the Jackasses look like Renaissance men.

Mercedes felt her heart jump slightly and realized that even while maintaining a vision that hid them and Stubbs away from any passersby, she had just created a hallucination for Kurt and Blaine as well. Finn blinked rapidly and mumbled,

"Woah…I feel kind of tired all of a sudden. Did you just like…UN-five hour energy me?"

"I think so, sorry," Mercedes shrugged.

"Why'd you do it?" Finn wondered, pulling away from the vision of himself and staring at him. He smiled and said, "You still always make me taller."

"You're like a giant. That's just how I see you," Mercedes admitted.

"So…you wanted privacy?" Finn smiled that ridiculous smile that meant he was both excited and confused at the same time.

Mercedes blew out one small breath before looking at Finn and stating matter-of-factly, "I've started cataloguing your smiles, and that's really weird and you should probably shut me down before I have to get weepy."

"I don't understand anything you just said," Finn said honestly. Half of his mouth turned upwards as his eyes remained confused, "I have different smiles?"

"You have that goofy smile you throw on when you're about to ask a question that you KNOW you should know the answer to," Mercedes shrugged. "You have that crazy grinning smile when you know you're about to get like, a shiny reward or a big bowl of cheetos and a tray full of sandwiches."

"That's totally my favorite," Finn grinned.

"And you have this little half smile half frown thing when you see Blaine getting flirty with Kurt," Mercedes acknowledged. "That's a really sweet one, actually. I like it. You're protective of your brother. I get it, I am too."

"He deserves something really awesome," Finn shrugged. "Everyone does."

"Yeah…but Finn? I should probably tell you that-well, it's like everyone has that one flaw that they can't help? That can totally devastate you if someone finds it out?" Mercedes wondered, not quite finding the words she wanted in order to push out what was suddenly in her heart and in her head. "I tend to start liking guys that are out of my league."

"That's stupid, you're awesome," Finn insisted. He scowled and insisted, "I was being serious the other day. I think that your super power should've been making people feel better, because when I'm feeling kind of stupid or useless or just…sad, you make me feel better. That's really important. Not everyone can do that. But you do it all the time for me and not that way that Schue would do it where it was like I was a lost puppy or special needs kid. You're real about everything. Any guy would be super lucky to have you like them."

"That's really sweet of you," Mercedes nodded, trying not to let his words affect her heart. Her face was deadly serious as she requested, "But you should probably stop being so sweet to me."

"Nah," Finn shrugged. "I don't want to."

Mercedes rolled her eyes and sighed, knowing that she wasn't getting through to him with subtle suggestion. She just didn't have the heart to come right out and say I'm starting to really like you, idiot and you should stop being so nice because you're just going to break my heart when you tell me that I'm just a really awesome friend. If she had Rachel's powers, she'd just beam that straight into his head.

Instead she felt her heart beat almost too rapidly as he let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close as he held his free hand out again with the Cheeto.

Meanwhile, Kurt and Blaine were blissfully ignorant as Blaine drove on through the night with the robot following closely behind. Blaine looked to Kurt curiously as the boy stared ahead as the barn came into view. There was something so spectacular about the way the moonlight lit up Kurt's flawless face. It almost took his breath away.

He took deep even breaths as he brought his hand down to where Kurt's rested against his seat. He concentrated on the driving but casually and slowly his hand grazed against Kurt's own, causing the young man to jump in his seat slightly.

Blaine took that one moment of surprise to grasp Kurt's hand in his, their fingers interlocking easily. Blaine smiled at him before turning back his entire attention to the road. Kurt continued to stare at his profile, wondering errantly if mere hand holding took his breath completely away, what was going to happen when they moved past that point.

"Anda que te coja un burro…"

"That's not quite nice, Santana," Jesse smiled at the grumbling girl who was reluctantly following him through the facility, mostly because he held her hand in a death grip due to Rachel Berry's punishment of her. He raised one perfect brow and asked, "I bet you're wondering how I can understand you. I believed it was incredibly important to be able to speak to fans of mine from around the world at one point, before I fully committed myself to my family's true calling…"

"Hijo de las gran mil putas," Santana muttered, conscientiously ignoring any words coming out of his mouth as she continually insulted his mother and brought up donkeys in incredibly wrong connotations.

"Santana, I'm truly very sorry that I turned you down last winter," Jesse said suddenly as they stood in front of one of the numerous sliding doors lining a large hallway. He held his hand up to it and walked through, dragging a slightly less put out Santana behind him. She obviously wasn't in the habit of receiving apologies, and his had just knocked three-quarters of her anger away instantly.

She looked around and carefully hid any sort of positive reaction behind an angry, snarling expression as her eyes took in the beautiful room. It was a day spa, complete with a whirlpool in the corner of the room, tanning beds, masseuse tables and a door to what looked like a sauna. She shrugged and looked at Jesse shrewdly.

"I thought you would enjoy this room," Jesse smiled winningly. "Relaxation…water spirits everywhere."

"I do like water," Santana said stiffly, her angry façade not dropping one bit.

"Not only do you like water, Santana, you create art with water," Jesse praised. "I've never seen anything so fascinating before the events of this evening. The way the water swirled and froze into perfect crystal form…it was captivating."

"Go on," Santana goaded evenly as she slowly began to walk around the room, inspecting a shelf here, a gizmo there.

Jesse chuckled to himself and nodded, "I can respect a woman who demands praise for her obvious talents."

"Less respect, more praise," Santana mumbled.

"Your control over water is like…control over something that gives us life. It's amazing…epic, even," Jesse promised. His praise stopped momentarily as Santana brought her hand close to the whirlpool, lifting tendrils of water up into the air to dance against the palm of her hand. He was entranced as she made the water dance against her skin before allowing it to drop slowly back down into the whirlpool once more. She smiled down at the water and her face instantly transformed from a mask of harsh and forced meanness into a lovely young woman who was just as fascinated with her power as he was. He managed to get one small whisper past his lips, "It's beautiful."

"Yeah, I'm awesome," Santana smirked drolly.

"Do you want to experiment?" Jesse asked eagerly. His face betrayed him and he felt a small moment of embarrassment as Santana raised a flirty eyebrow his way. He blinked his eyes for a prolonged second before gesturing his head towards the sauna, "I realize that you can control water, turn it into ice…I was wondering what your effect on steam was…"

"I've never tried…I'm pretty sure I'll still be awesome though," Santana admitted, following Jesse's lead as he headed towards the door of the sauna. She closed the door behind her and watched with interest as he lifted a ladle full of water and poured it over ridiculously hot rocks. The steam swirled upwards and she concentrated and focused as best as she could.

After a few quick mistrials with her own concentration, the swirls of steam came together forming a tight knit globe of steam. Jesse clapped his hands together in amazement and nodded, "Truly spectacular."

"Told you I'm awesome," Santana smiled. She leveled a flirty look at him and let her voice attain that sweet and dulcet tone that she knew drove most boys outside of their minds. "Jesse?"

"Hmm?" he questioned, unconsciously moving closer to her, until they were separated by the globe of steam that Santana held in her hands.

"I don't make out with losers that have clearly lost their minds and turned me down," Santana's face regained that harsh and edgy mask as she flounced towards the door. She pushed against it and furrowed her brow in anger. She yelled, "Whoever locked this door better open it right now, or I will totally make sex uncomfortable for them for the rest of all time!"

"We're locked in?" Jesse furrowed his brow, gently pushing Santana to the side as he tried to access the door. He shouted through the door, panic evident in his voice, "Please don't lock me in with the crazy person. PLEASE!"

Outside, Artie and Brittany stared at the door. Artie looked contrite and regretful. Brittany looked absolutely resolute as she stared at the lock she had configured and programmed for the door. She nodded and said, "It's for their own good. And our own good. I love Santana, but I want to have sex with you alone tonight."

Artie's contrite expression disappeared and he grinned happily before letting one phrase fall from his smiling lips, "WORD."

"I think I almost fell asleep in the shower," Puck announced as he strode into the room in a pair of ridiculously low hung basketball shorts. He smirked knowingly as Rachel's eyes became transfixed with a droplet of water left over from his time in the bathroom as it made its way downward from his chest. He watched her eyes darken slightly as he turned up the heat and made the water droplet completely sizzle on his skin before it could disappear into the fabric of his shorts. "Stop objectifying my hot bod, Sparky."

Rachel blinked and looked up at Puck with squinted eyes. She smiled serenely as she stretched lazily on the only bed in the room they would presumably cohabitate in. She suspected that he chose a room for them with a single bed as an excuse not to hold massive Glee Club sleepovers any longer and she couldn't honestly say that she minded all that much. She bit back a grin as his suddenly lecherous thoughts about her legs seeped into her own mind and arched her back before slowly rising into a sitting position.

She gracefully got off the bed and she found it hard to hold back the giant smile threatening her face when he began to appreciate her night time attire. One overly large gray t-shirt that she had taken out of what she assumed was his new closet full of clothes that drifted down to the middle of her thigh, completely concealing the fact that she was wearing tiny shorts. She felt his mind completely ignore the fact that she could be wearing pants and immediately he began thinking about how she obviously wasn't wearing pants.

"I want to test a theory out, would you be so kind as to help me?" Rachel wondered sweetly. "Or are you too tired?"

"M'not tired," Puck mumbled lazily, his eyes staring down at her intently as she walked ever closer to him. Her hand reached out and suddenly her palm was over his chest, right where his heart was currently trying to beat in a non-erratic pattern. He tried to even out his breathing before whispering, "Rachel, you're killing me here."

"That won't do," Rachel shook her head slowly. "I definitely need you alive."

"I just need you," Puck countered.

"I'm right here," Rachel promised. She giggled when his lips were suddenly on hers, as if he needed more physical confirmation of her presence. His lips went from her mouth, to place an errant and adorable kiss on her nose, before steadily moving down to her jaw, her throat, the pulse point where her shoulder met her neck. She hummed in spite of herself and tried to force words out of her brain and into the suddenly think air surrounding them. "I noticed that since we kissed the first time…and the second time…"

"I'm gonna make you lose count tonight," Puck promised in a whisper, his hands gripping handfuls of gray t-shirt and yanking her towards him so that their bodies were flush against each other.

"Sounds wonderful," Rachel agreed dreamily as his mouth continued to absolutely worship all of those wonderful spots on her neck that were rapidly turning her legs into jelly. She realized that he was actively trying to leave a hickey and pulled his face back to hers, attacking his lips with as much, if not more gusto than she normally would have. When she felt his knees buckle, she pulled away and smiled, "Noah, do you realize that our connection gets to be more powerful the more intimate we become?"

"Sparky, I really, really like where you're going with this," Puck grinned in spite of himself.

"I do have to question though if you're up to the challenge," Rachel admitted.

Puck furrowed his brow in mock pain and indignation before promptly lifting her entirely off her feet. She wrapped her legs around his midsection as he walked them towards the bed, before crushing her against the Egyptian Cotton sheets with his body. He arched an eyebrow as her eyes widened as she felt that one part of him was more than up to the challenge. She giggled in spite of herself and Puck actually pouted.

"Baby, don't tease," he muttered.

"I wasn't planning on it," Rachel whispered as her hand once again found his heart beat, then drifted further down his body. "But there should be full disclosure…if we go further perhaps not all the way, one step, or even half a step further…I fear the physical impact will be immense."

"You mean the physical impact of me totally defiling your hot body will be tiring?" Puck asked hopefully.

"No, I believe that that first night, I was using my own power to jumpstart everyone, and we know the consequences of me exhausting myself," Rachel sighed as her hand toyed with the strings that kept Puck's shorts on his body, her knuckles barely brushing against his lower abdomen as he hovered over her body supported by his elbows. She smiled as his lips descended on her skin again, going to his favorite spots on her neck. "Since our time in our special recuperative coma place, a switch has been flipped."

"Now I'm your battery pack," Puck nodded as his head dipped over and over to place kisses along the right side of her neck. "It's cool, I like the way it feels."

"Mmhhm, me too," Rachel mumbled dreamily. "But if we go further…I can only assume that I'll only be able to take more from you when drawing upon our powers."

"Sparky, I'm plenty powerful. You have seen and felt up the guns," Puck reminded her.

"Yes, but I suppose I just want to make sure I have your consent," Rachel giggled, as her hands toyed with the strings to his shorts.

"You don't have a form for me to sign, do you?" Puck questioned seriously. Rachel made an embarrassed and adorable face before shaking her head no decidedly. He shrugged and demanded, "Violate away, Sparky."

Rachel paused in her ministrations, giving Puck all the impetus he needed for his own hands to explore, pushing the gray t-shirt up her body, his long fingers caressing each inch of skin that was revealed. He only stopped when his hands grazed lace, and he paused before kissing her lips avidly, their tongues immediately grappling in an intimate and now familiar dance as his hand cupped her breasts almost cautiously, afraid she might shut the whole operation down. Instead she moaned into his mouth with delighted pleasure, giving him the green light to delve beneath the lacy cups of her bra to worship her properly. Her mind phased out for a minute and she suddenly whispered,

"Santana..."

"Sparky, seriously, it's not right to say her name right now. You're making me think that you're legit attracted to her," Puck pouted playfully as his thumb rubbed against the hardened peak of her nipple with the perfect amount of rough pressure.

"No...she's mad. We might not have all the time in the world right now...we'll have to make this quicker than expected if she gets out," Rachel sighed under his ministrations. She furrowed her brow and shook her head. "Brittany might have just taken care of it for us though..."

Next chapter may be rated M. I hope you don't mind. That is all. This chapter will be titled...

Chapter 27 – "I've Been a Bad, Bad Brittany"

Hugs, kisses and delicious hot chocolate to all the darling readers out there on the interhighway.