It actually didn't take me fifty years to update this time, I hope you enjoy

It was good to finally be back in my own home I had been staying at our base for so long I barely remembered how comfortable my bed was compared to the base. I felt a twinge of guilt that the beds at the base weren't the most comfortable thing to sleep on, not that anyone complained but it was still hard catering for so many people. But then again we allowed them the leniency to bring in anything that guardians wanted to. I happily skipped down the stairs of my cute little cabin and made my way into the kitchen, due to me not being here there were bound to be a few nasty surprises. That was another down side about not being here I had to waste food.

I smiled at myself for how ridiculous I was being I felt like a complete idiot today, like I was back in high school. It was a nice feeling to have every now and again. I knew that everything at the base was being taken care of thanks to Jace finally intervening which I honestly didn't mind. I love what I'm doing now but I need a break. The only serious thing that was still playing on my mind was the meeting that would be held soon with the alchemists. It would basically choose the fate of all the guardians in this argument against the moroi. But I was happy in the sense that I had organized everything I could and now all I could really do was give it my best when talking to them.

I had felt a lot calmer about the fact that I would be confronting a race of humans that hated people like me. Jace and I had a talk about this entire situation as part of a business meeting but as always it seemed to pour into our regular lives as well and as soon as other important guardians had left Jace had given more personal advice. We also talked about the whole situation with Dimitri that damn stubborn boy refused to apologize for what he did without a second warning.

I heard a laugh from behind me and my head shot out of the fridge. I admit I was wearing the silliest pajamas alive but they were so comfortable that I wish it was suitable to wear everywhere. Seriously when wearing the right pajama's they are suitable for any occasion I don't understand why they're criticized so much. I started to laugh at myself again for how stupid I was. When I actually turned to see Dimitri he was still in his pajamas as well but instead of laughing at me he now had his eyebrow raised. I looked at the way his face was scrunched to lift his eyebrow and wished I could raise mine.

I threw the food from the fridge that was in my hand into the bin. The looked over at Dimitri properly "What is it that you're laughing at Mr. Belikov?" I asked with my hand on my hip.
Dimitri didn't seem to get offended by referring to his last name because of my playful voice. He slowly walked towards me giving me the time to pull away but I didn't. When he was close enough he wiped something off my nose grinning at me again he put his finger in his mouth. He stayed like that for a little while his face scrunched up a little.
"I can't exactly figure out what it is but I'm going to guess, pancake batter?" he asked
I looked at him sheepishly "Failed batch."
He chuckled lightly
"You have never been one to cook Rose."

My horrible cooking skills had never been a secret, what was even more pathetic was the fact I couldn't even cook the batter because they weren't edible to begin with. Living and being alone most the time I had mastered how to cook basic meals and even then I had not had the right time to practice breakfast foods because I never had time. Dinner on the other hand well, dinner was my bitch. I then stared at Dimitri I was shocked by how bold he was being don't get me wrong I understand he was trying but it almost seemed that we have almost completely swapped personalities.
After I got ahold of myself I continued to clean out the fridge, not that there was much in there in the first place. While Dimitri decided he would make us breakfast himself considering I couldn't.

At one point I was sitting on the bench next to where Dimitri was preparing everything, he walked around my kitchen with grace almost like he knew where everything was. I sat on the bench watching him with awe.
"I don't really know how to make pancakes from scratch, but I can make Blini?" He asked for my approval.
"Blini?" I asked
He started laughing, I didn't know what to do to say I was shocked would be a tiny understatement. Then I remembered how he acted around Tasha, this was probably normal for him I didn't know whether to be happy that he was finally opening up or shocked.

For what seemeed like several hours we acted normal maybe even like a normal couple but we had not talked about it and I knew from the academy that Dimitri would either talk about it or ignore the whole thing. I didn't understand him like I used to I don't feel like I know this man and I didn't know what to do I still loved him I would always love him.

Dimitri insisted on cleaning up the mess after we had eaten he said it was practically a thank you. After he had finished the dishes he sat down on the lounge next to me "Would you like to watch something?" He asked, he actually seemed nervous like he didn't know how to approach this subject
"I have work to do," I said pointing down to the paperwork in my hand.
A hint of a smile crossed his face
"Sometimes you need a break." He was using my words back at the academy when we first started training I always insisted on having breaks.

I looked down at my paper work but didn't say anything "Come on Rose, I know what you're like you've been working so hard Jace sent you back here to have a rest from this. You put yourself into so much you will burn out eventually." I could tell he was conserned but it was making me agitated.
"Dimitri I'm not just defending some moroi anymore! I'm defending a whole race, I don't have time to relax I have a meeting with a race of humans that hate us and I have to persued them to like me and my ideas so that children aren't being put out to slaughter!" I took a breath we had acted like everything was fine and just like every other occasion it had backfired.
"I don't have the time to think about what I need, the only thing I need is to work to help these people, which brings me to why are you really here Dimitri. And don't say me. You've turned me down ever since St. Vladmirs so that's a big indiactor that your loyality and duty is a lot more important then some highschool crush!"

I was mad and he'd made me lose control so there I had just gotten all my feelings out on the table. He himself looked like he was fightign for control the papers I ha been working on were scattered on the floor and I had started accusing him of things both of our breathing was uneven and I could tell just like in the gym when I had kissed him and he had stormed out he was losing control.

His face showed fury not at me I could tell he was having his own thought battle I could also see regret "Don't ever think for a second that it was just some highschool crush Rosemarie,"
I was just about to snap at him for calling me by my full name but his stern voice kept talking "You know that I care about you so much more than that. And yes my duty had obviously over ridden that at that stage. Rose you drove me crazy the way you started to act after what I had done I realised then that maybe I wasn't the only one that had such strong feelings for you. I knew that I had caused you so much pain and I didn't think that I deserved you any longer. I still believed that my duty came first but it took me to finally see you break down to realise that maybe you need me as much as I need you I have sorted out where my loyalties lie which is exactly why I came looking for you."

I sat there trying to take it all in his voice was so strong and sure but I wasn't sure what to make of what I had just heard, he'd said he needed me and he had actually left the moroi. I did need him and I did want him. I wanted him now, I wanted to be with him in everyway possible but I couldn't find the right words to say I needed to find the right words to say. I didn't know what to do so I just went to my room without a word.

Okay so this is really important, I feel like my writing is really bad at the moment I don't exactly feel as though it's writers block it's just I don't think my quality is good. I would really love some opinions on how you think the story line and even if the characters are still being true to their personality. I would really like opinions so I can see what exactly is going wrong in my writing. Thank you and I hope this chapter is okay.