By the time Buffy's knees hit the solid floor of Bobby's house for the second time in how many minutes, she was exhausted. When a set of strong arms enveloped her, she immediately knew it was Sam.

Her heavy head rested against his shoulder and his warmth soaked into her chilled bones.

She let the moment drag on for a little bit too long before snapping to and trying to follow his frantic conversation. "What are you doing? Buffy? Buffy! Can you hear me?" Sam's voice strained in vain.

Buffy managed a nod, not wanting to own up to what this moment looked like. Instantly Dean was behind him, an otherworldly scowl brandishing his otherwise handsome face. "She okay?" He barked at Sam, making a point of ignoring Buffy.

Sam fidgeted, adjusting Buffy in his arms as he helped her up. "I think so."

His soft sigh said much. The brother's always had that easy way of communicating without words. Buffy was somewhat grateful for the fact that she could too now. Although she wasn't exactly sure why…

"Was she about to do what I think she was?" Dean said through grit teeth, his eyes on the hand gun at their feet. Buffy watched his eyes harden on the pilfered object.

Sam whispered as if Buffy couldn't hear although she clearly could, "I'm not sure."

Buffy rolled her eyes, her strength returning. "Why in God's name are you talking about me like I am not standing right here?"

Dean straightened, his penetrating glare pinned on her. Buffy refused to shrink away from his silent accusations. Her choice was hers and hers alone, and she wouldn't allow even a shred of guilt to conform around her already battered heart.

But it was Sam who broke the silence first, "What happened, Buffy?"

She looked at her soul mate dead in the eyes and for the first time in weeks, let loose a carefree smile on him. Her grin so wild and free she felt it in her toes. The brother's looked startled for a moment, exchanging glances that spoke of the possibility of Buffy's sudden insanity.

She quickly shook her head at them. "Would you believe anything I told you at this point?"

Sam's grip tightened slightly on her arm. Buffy rebuffed it for a moment, if only to prove she was sound of mind. "You are the proverbial white flag Sam. I think you were sent to stop me."

Sam's brows rose, his eyes jerking back to the gun, "From making the same mistake twice?"

Buffy laughed. "No, from having to teach someone, yet again, that our mistakes can often be deliberate. But in the end, they are ours to make."

The brother's looked confused. Buffy only smiled harder. She wasn't sure how they made it to her side before the gun had gone off this time but she was positive it was Gabriel's doing. He was changing the circumstances. And in a huge way, it said simply, you win…

She threw a reassuring glance at Sam and Dean, looping both their arms with her own, leading them off into Bobby's kitchen for the explanation of a lifetime…

They were going to need a stiff drink, or three, because this was going to take a while.

By the time the air cleared the next day, Buffy was ready to head back to Sunnydale. Giles and a grumbling Anya had been appointed to pack the car while Willow and Xander said their goodbyes to Bobby. Dean had sprung wings and was off in the opposite direction on a new lead.

No rest for the wicked, he'd said. And Buffy supposed that was true. Her interactions with The Trickster had impacted Dean the most. He'd come to sees Buffy as family and his own self-assessments were best put to work on the road. He needed this time to clear his head. The entire house sensed it and let him go with a hopeful heart but weary glances.

However, Buffy knew the truth, they'd see him again soon. He just held his emotions in the strangest of places. And fortunately for the gang, most of them resided back here with them.

Sam was acting strangely and Buffy knew she owed him a heart to heart.

Yet a part of her feared his reaction. He'd seen her kiss Dean, but would he really believe it was all an act? She'd told the brother's the bottom line of what had happened, but left out a few details for her own sanity.

Dean had accepted it all. Yet Sam had had questions.

She smiled wryly at herself in the mirror. The gang was probably ready to leave and here she was procrastinating upstairs in hopes she'd have more time to linger around Sam. A part of her hoped he'd return to California with her. Rationality told her the harsh truth that he probably wouldn't.

If anything Sam's questions eased her mind. He tried to make sense of who she was. Always with the puzzle pieces, trying desperately to get every inch of her figured out. There was a time, even recently, when she would've feared his interference. But now she knew, it was because he pried that he cared. He pushed her, time and again, to be that piece of herself she feared to be in front of the world.

To accept herself at his side for everything she was instead of hiding who she could be behind her own actions.

Under his gaze, she grew, even against her own will. He was her sun. He gave her life without even knowing it.

When a knock came on the bathroom door, almost instinctively she knew it was Sam. "Buffy?" His concerned voice crept through the wood. "Are you okay?"

That was a loaded question. She almost laughed.

Instead she opened the door, preparing herself for his presence in her thoughts. The look on his face almost broke her heart. He thought he was losing her again.

By the time they made it to Bobby's front yard the whole gang had packed into Giles' old clunker, grins on their faces at the prospect of going home intact. She hurried towards Willow, giving her a quick explanation of a needing a few moments alone with Sam.

All she could hear as she ushered her Winchester away to the Salvage Yard was Anya's whining about how long it would take.

Sam's face was solemn.

Buffy didn't know where to start. Yet she felt like her time was limited. When the first words tumbled out she could tell Sam wasn't expecting them…Good, he needs to hear this.

"I feel like I can't leave you without telling you that you are the love of my life." Buffy's words landed strong and true from her lips, her eyes never leaving his face.

Sam's heart jumped wildly at the declaration but he tried his best to stamped it down. He couldn't allow himself to believe her, not after what he'd seen.

"I know it might be too late. I know…" She trailed off, her voice gone hoarse. She blinked back tears and tried to continue. "But sometimes you can only understand your heart after you've given it away. And I didn't realize until recently that'd I'd given mine away long ago...to you."

Sam tried to stay stoic. He tried to give her room to get out whatever was plaguing her. But all he wanted was to throttle her. She was the other half of him, always would be, but she had dragged his heart through the mud one too many times…he wasn't sure if he'd ever be whole enough to forgive her for what she'd done.

"What happened with Dean…it wasn't what you think. I did it to set you free. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I did it for you." Buffy's face twisted slightly, her lips curling in before sprouting back into that solemn face she so often wore. He'd seen this side of her before. She was trying not to break.

Sam surveyed the moment, trying to grasp the concept she was introducing. Yet Buffy was a strange soul, he found it hard to follow or translate her motive. He was sure a part of him would never quite figure her out. The more he knew the more he wanted to know. It was as if she held some power over him.

Because loving Buffy Summers was akin to a curse.

He absentmindedly rubbed at his chest over his heart, drawing her gaze.

Immediately he snatched his hand away. He'd be damned if he let her see how this moment hurt. He'd given her up in his heart but he knew deep down his soul would always want hers.

This moment would define many things for him. But he'd never forgive himself if he asked the wrong question and blew it for them both. When her eyes met his again he immediately knew the only thing he really wanted to know…he just hoped he got the answer he wanted.

"What does Dean mean to you?" Sam asked, his voice gone rough from emotion. He hated how weak he sounded. In front of the strongest soul he'd ever had the horror of falling in love with, it was an intimidating thing.

Buffy's face lit up in a rare way. Jealousy fought to overtake him. Would she ever look like that when thinking of him? "He was the brother I never wanted." She started, shaky laughter in her voice. "I fought him long and hard, but yes, he crept into my heart."

Sam's face contorted in confusion, yet he couldn't help but agree, "He has a way of being the most annoying person alive that you can't help but love."

She wrinkled her nose, "Precisely." Buffy rubbed the end of her sleeve over her cheek in a nervous gesture. Sam tried to focus on the situation yet couldn't help but be distracted by her fretting.

Does she always have to look so very beautiful?

Instantly Buffy's face took on a shadow of darkness, as if she was remembering something painful. "He killed my sister," she said slowly, "I harbored a shred of hatred for him for a very long time, even after he helped me save you and save the world. I felt shame for it, so I buried it."

Sam waited. His heart in his throat.

She drew in a deep breath, never avoiding his eyes. "I think to accept you, all of you, I had to accept Dean as well. You two are sort of a package deal. I knew that, but I wasn't ready until now to fully accept it." When the first tear slipped free and fell down her cheek it took all his strength to stand his ground. "I'd just lost a sibling. I wasn't ready to care that much for another. But he had that distinct quality, that annoying, irritating love only two siblings can share in together. It took me too long to realize you were the family I always needed, even if I wasn't ready to admit I wanted it yet. And I swear to you that no one has ever had as much of my heart and soul as you do. I love you Sam Winchester. With all of me and with the rest of my days, I will keep on loving you."

She advanced a bit, clearly not giving up. Sam managed to take a breath. The very one he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Her kiss with Dean, that searing moment…It was all an act? Buffy's heart was still only his…

She inched even closer to him, as if afraid she might scare him off. He fought the urge to lean into her, to bury his face in her hair, to grasp at her very soul. She would always call to him, but she still had so much to explain. If he gave his trust back to her it'd be lost along with his scarred heart.

Yet all he wanted to do was erase what he had seen. Her actions were loud but her words explained so much, he only hoped he wasn't just reading into to what he wanted to be true. Could she truly belong to him or would he be always chasing an impossible dream?

Her small voice broke into his thoughts. "I don't know what is around the next corner. But I can tell you that every moment since you came into my messed up life you have made me want to be a better person." Buffy's eyes widened on his, another bought of tears threatening. "I have never been so afraid of letting someone down. I pushed you away time and again even while clinging to you. You saw in me someone I had thought died when I jumped off that bridge. A person I never thought I'd see again." Buffy shifted in her shoes, leaning towards him.

Sam didn't budge, but it took all his willpower. Her warmth was electric, her words like weights around his heart. Suddenly he was afraid of breaking the illusion she was creating. Please let this be true…please.

She took a fragile breath before continuing, "I didn't want to be that person anymore. It was easier to run. But you never relented." She gave him a watery smile. "You saw things beneath the surface I'd fought so damned hard to bury."

Her shaking fingers slipped into his. "You brought me back to life." She whispered, her voice gone ragged. "Where my soul resides doesn't matter if it's not whole to begin with. And where my body rests is pointless if it's only going through the motions. Willow may have brought life to my limbs, and Dawn may have reawakened my heart, but you…You called my soul back from the dark. What I feel for you is immeasurable. And each day it only grows. You have all of me Sam. You always will."

Her words held a weight over his chest, threatening to cave in on him. Sam watched her break. Watched the steadfast soldier she so often was crumble. The bricks surrounding not only her body and soul, but her heart and mind as well, started to fall.

Sam leaned into the moment, feeling closer to her than he ever had.

Instantly he heard her voice echoing throughout the cavernous depths of his mind. I am yours.

Startled, his eyes widened on hers, seeking reassurance he wasn't just hearing things. She nodded, biting at her bottom lip. They were speaking without sound. How was this possible?

He projected a simple question in her direction, opening his mind to her. Always?

Her grin told him she had heard him. Wonders never ceased, perhaps she held some sort of magick after all. Until my last dying breath… and long after that.

The invasion of thoughts threw him for a moment, it was a strange feeling. Like being sucked under quicksand, unable to escape. Her words soaked his mind, stretching outward as if reaching for his very being. I love you Sam. And I will waste every last second I spend breathing proving it you. "If you let me." The last words were spoken aloud and Sam watched her lips move in amazement.

He was sure he'd never feel this way again, not after losing Jess. But this was so much more than that. This was all encompassing. As much as he'd loved Jess, he couldn't justify his feelings for Buffy. They were against his better judgment, they were against his very will. He had no say in the matter, he had no control. She was his. She belonged by his side, and no matter how twisted it all was, for better or for worse, he knew they'd always be in each other's lives.

Because no matter how he felt about it, he'd never be able to let her go.

He supposed, after all this time, he finally knew what true love felt like.

And it damned well hurt.