this is the aftermath of the last chapter, so it's going to be in between. it's not angst and it's not humour, just random talking to reach up to a conclusion. it would be weird if I followed pure angst with humour in my opinion. thus, this is more of a filler chapter.

Chapter 26
Last Night?

"Hummel, wake up. Make me coffee."

"…Sebastian? Oh my Prada, last night…I remember hugging you and you being silent. I think we both fell asleep, or I fell asleep and you wallowed in your misery and I could do nothing at all because I was asleep. Oh my Prada. Are you okay?"

"Calm the fuck down, Hummel. I'm fine."

"You had a mental breakdown last night."

"Yup. Happens sometimes."

"'Happens sometimes'? You are not going to brush that off. You looked genuinely torn and I was genuinely not expecting that. When you just started acting all serious, my heart froze in its place. I feel so bad for not being able to do anything to calm you down."

"Jeez. I'm never going to say anything in front of you again. Can we just forget about it when you make me coffee?"

"Sebastian, stop hiding behind barriers."

"I was upset, Hummel. Now, I am not upset. Now, I am fine. Why the hell do you want to talk about the time when I was upset when I am not upset anymore? Seriously."

"Sebastian, you scared me last night."

"Yeah, I scared myself. I was so sad and vulnerable. It was so pathetic. You know to get over the horror movie? By not bringing it up. Yeah. Don't bring it up."

"But what if it happens again?"

"It is gonna happen again. It's not 'cause I bottle shit up, Hummel. It's 'cause I think too much when I'm alone and it leads me to being all weak and spineless and whatever. It doesn't matter, okay? Fucking Hell. Do you always have to do this? This is why I never fucking tell you anything."

"So, I am supposed to expect that last night was just one of those nights where you thought too much and got depressed and this morning, you are absolutely fine?"

"Yup. Because that's what it is. Believe me, Hummel. I'm fine. I'm not lying. If I was upset, you'd know. I'm a terrible fucking liar, you know? So, shut up and make me coffee."

"I am not convinced. We are talking about last night."

"I felt like a weak bird that can do nothing. I felt like I didn't exist 'cause I weigh the same as a six-year-old chick. And that's it. Had a mental breakdown related to it, but you know, screw it. I can put on weight if I fucking want. I'm going to do it. There we go. Problem solved. What is there to talk about?"

"Like your severe hatred for being the weight that you are at right now."

"No."

"No? So, there is something?"

"Yup. And like I said—nope. I won't fucking budge. Make me coffee."

"Sebastian."

"If you want to do something for me, throw the diet out of the window again and let's have breakfast together. Make me coffee and chocolate chip pancakes. That'll make me feel better."

"You declined sex yesterday."

"Yeah, I felt like real shit, huh? Good thing I'm not feeling it anymore. Seriously, Hummel? Get over it."

"I'm not. You had a mental breakdown. It shocked me. You told me not to talk about…nothing. You just…you seemed so disorientated and I don't want that happening again. I don't want you to feel that way anymore. You've used food to diffuse a moment like this before and you're going to use anything to make me forget all about it, but not this time, Sebastian."

"Why? Why? I told you I didn't want to talk about certain things and you kept pushing on me talking about it, but I told you no. I'm telling you no again. If I feel good, sure, I'll talk but not now. This shit I've not told anyone because I'm not comfortable telling anyone, but you know some parts of it. That's it, okay? Don't bring it up again, or I will leave you. This relationship is getting way too emotional for me."

"How am I supposed to show you that I care and that I support you?"

"Make me coffee and chocolate chip pancakes."

"Sebastian, I'm scared for you."

"Well, I'll let you know if my mental health is deteriorating but I've been alive all these years, and I have a bunch of therapists for shit you want to know about. I am fucking fine. Make me coffee and chocolate chip pancakes."

"Fine. I am here if you ever need to talk about anything."

"Whatever."

"White chocolate chip studded or milk chocolate chip studded pancakes?"

"White. And Hummel?"

"Yeah?"

"You know, I am also here if you ever need to talk about anything, okay?"

xo Peanut Butter/Sam