XXVI – In the Next Room
Sarah had soon discovered that although Jareth had captured her on Saturday night she had only been away for twenty four hours, and so she would have to return to class the following day. As a result she lay in bed until the early hours trying to read King Horn. Usually, this particular type of typical medieval romance would have irritated her, with its damsels and unrealistic character description, but tonight nothing made her feel anything. She read the words, but they meant nothing to her; they passed through her like a ghost. Shutting the final page, Sarah dropped the book on the floor and lay back in her bed, wondering if when she woke up everything would be normal again. Lily would be back; they would shovel down breakfast and dash to class ready to moan about the anti-feminist aspects of the latest text. Not this week, Sarah thought bitterly, this week Lily will be…the thought petered out. She could not even be angry at the fact her friend had betrayed her, because deep down she was jealous of what she had been able to do. She gave up everything…her prospects…her family…me…
Pulling the duvet over her head, Sarah closed her eyes firmly shut to block out the light. She pushed her hands over her eyes and moved them until she saw stars on the inside of her eye lids, but soon she became reminded of how magical it looked. She moved her hands away, and all she could see in her mind's eye was him. Sarah opened her eyes and rolled on her side. Oh no…no…not now. I can't… the guilt she felt when she pictured Jareth's distraught face was too painful, so she shot up and put on a record to sooth her. Almost everything she considered was too much to do with love, so she skimmed through her collection a few times until she settled on Duran Duran. She lowered the needle and closed her eyes in melancholic bliss.
…Even on the darkest night when empty promise means empty hand
And soldiers coming home like shadows turning red…
And when the lights of hope are fading quickly then look to me
I'll be your homing angel I'll be in your head…
Returning to her bed, Sarah flicked off the light and tried to map out what she would do the next day. I can't just go back to normal…I've lose my only friend…Lily really had been Sarah's closest companion, and although she had acquaintances, it depressed her to think that she had left her best friends in the…she would not allow herself to think about it.
…Because you're lonely in your nightmare let me in
And there's heat beneath your winter let me in…
She began to dread the seminar that was to occur the next day. What am I going to tell everyone? That Lily has gone? Died? Run away? Everyone will know something is wrong with me…and I'll have nothing to say about the book… Sarah huffed and rubbed her tired eyes before descending into the folds of her blankets again.
…I see the delta traces living lonely out on the limb
And a passing glimmer warm beneath your skin
Please tread gently on the ground when all around you earth turns to fire
Only get a second chance when danger's on the wind…
Sarah drifted into sleep, but somewhere in her subconscious the song went on.
…Must be lucky whether when you find the kind of wind that you need
Come on show me all the light and shade that made your name
I know you've got it in your head I've seen that look before
You've built your refuge turns you captive all the same…
Meanwhile, far, far away, another tune was sounding out through a goblin-filled castle and echoing across the peaceful wilderness of the Labyrinth. In the large, glittering ballroom a celebration was in full swing. Huge chandeliers blooming with crystals lit the magnificent enclosure and the light reflected through the glass like a disco ball. All of the goblins that could fit in the space were milling about, drinking from tankards and goblets and generally causing havoc. Hoggle and Didymus were sat around a large table drinking mead and uncomfortably avoiding discussing Sarah's abrupt departure; no one had said anything about it – they had only seen Lily and Jareth return, the former fuming and the latter close to tears. Other more grounded and serious goblins were at their table playing cards with them.
In the center of the room stood Lily dressed in a long blue iridescent dress that had a frosty white mesh across the shoulders. She was swaying gently in the arms of an exceedingly well dressed Froud. Proudly dressed in his military attire, his soft blonde hair flicked across his forehead as they swept across the floor. His coat was navy blue and bore the royal crest, and he wore a similar kind of boot to Jareth, who was sat towards the back of the room nursing a large goblet of wine, alone. He had not bothered to dress up for the occasion; instead, he opted to let Lily and Froud steal the show. He leant back in his chair, leg swung over its side, sipping his tipple and watching morosely through narrow eyes as the couple danced to that song, his song – his song for her. This was for her…it was all for her, always…I've been a fool to think Sarah could ever love a monster like me…she is far too precious for me…
He drained his glass and tossed it onto the table beside him before swinging out of his chair and staggering from the room. It would be late into the night before anyone would realise he had gone.
In the moonlight of the Labyrinth everything seemed so much gloomier to Jareth, who had grabbed the remainder of the flagon and was drawing on it frequently. The Goblin City was empty except for him; the windows of the little houses were dark and misted up, the shadows of the walls fell across the streets as the crystalline moon cast its light upon the stones. He shuffled through the dark courtyard and arrived at the grand fountain, which since the battle with Sarah so many years ago had looked rather broken and bare. Just like me…Suddenly feeling furious at his self-indulgent melancholy, he thought on Labrynthe and how she would have rather died than live without him anymore. He let out a sob at the memory of her evaporating before him and clutched his head, dropping the bottle without breaking it. In a flash of passion, he lifted his hands and forged a golden flame in his hands before thrusting the glow at the fountain. The stone plinth in the center began to grow and morphed itself into the figure of a woman, stood proud and tall, a goblin walking beside her and Jareth's old pendant hung around her neck. She became illuminated in gold as the water burst from the busted taps and beautiful golden lilies flourished on the surface of the water. Jareth looked up at Labrynthe's face; for him, she represented all the pain he felt in love.
Overcome with sadness and tiredness, Jareth sat down before the fountain and emptied the bottle beside him before slouching back and falling finally into the first proper sleep he had had in hundreds of years. As he slept, the party went on late into the night. It was only when a restless Ludo out on a night-time stroll that Jareth was discovered and carried sleeping back to his private chambers. It was as if for the first time he was really eighteen, love sick and horrifically inebriated.
Sarah awoke earlier than usual and sat up in her bed, alone and dejected. The room still felt newly empty and she could not handle not hearing someone else sleep in the bed beside her. During the course of the previous night she had contemplated pushing the beds together, but she could not accept that she was alone. Stop it. Stop it. There is nothing wrong with being alone. I was alone before Toby, I was alone before Lily. I can be alone… Pulling on a pair of dark jeans, a brown jumper, coat and some black boots, Sarah threw a few items into a back pack and left her room, ignoring her hair and face. She walked to the white-washed empty student kitchen and set up some coffee to take in her flask. The dry strip light flickered above her erratically and illuminated the mountains of filthy cutlery and crockery. While the kettle was boiling she sought out an apple, but biting into it she found it was powdery and tasteless, so she tossed it in the bin and blocked out the thought of Underground fruit and its endless taste. Coffee packed, she ignored breakfast and set off for class. Down the stairs and outside she saw that the sky was grey and that the sun hung behind the mist like a white disc. The air was so thick and cold that she pulled her jumper around her neck. Of course; everything would have to be grey…The ground was slippery and still frozen from the night before, and the lamp posts were still lit even though the morning lit provided enough of a glow.
The large structure that housed most of the humanities seminar rooms was a hideous hark to sixties architecture and every time Sarah saw it she felt instantly oppressed and depressed. All of the windows were fogged with condensation and as Sarah entered it she was hit by a wall of dense, hot but not warming air. Her hair stuck to her face uncompromisingly and she could feel it cling to the back of her neck. Why don't they ever sort the heating out in this place? Turning into seminar room 003, she saw that she was the last one in except Lily. Mr Scales had been stalling and waiting for her, so he lit up slightly when she arrived.
"Ah, Sarah, we were beginning to worry. But where is Lily?"
Sarah dumped her bag in front of a chair and slumped into it. "She's a bit under the" …ground… "weather," she replied awkwardly.
"I see. Well, let's press on. King Horn isn't going to discuss itself."
Warm, gentle light seeped routinely through the shutters of the castle windows and stretched across Jareth's sleeping face, making him stir and stick his head under a pillow. His head throbbed from the night before and all of his limbs were tired with misery. All he wanted to do was stay in his cocoon of self-loathing, but soon enough he heard a tap at the door and heard some slippered-feet shuffle across the room to his bed.
"Rise and shine?"
Coffee...Jareth sniffed the air.
"I brought you coffee. Come on, get up."
Groaning, Jareth lifted his head and saw Lily sat next to him dressed in a pair of jeans and a hideous vintage jumper.
"You can't mope forever."
He scoffed. "I am far more patient than most. Forever is not so long." Pulling himself up and crossing his legs, Jareth took the crystal cup from Lily and drew on the contents. Lily smiled triumphantly, worried about Jareth's creased eyes and pale face.
"I would ask how you were holding up, but I can guess. You had quite the night, I hear. Real smooth."
Jareth frowned and scratched his blond locks. "Oh, do not start. I have not felt this bad…ever."
Lily's face fell. "Neither have I."
Jareth's eyebrows rose higher than ever. "What? Why? You have everything."
Sighing, Lily sipped on her own coffee. "I am so confused – I feel so happy and so sad all at the same time. I am so lucky to be here and have the chance of this wonderful life, but at the same time…I'd give anything to see Sarah again…"
Jareth felt a pain in his chest that began to expand. "And I, Lily."
They both sat morosely and kept their eyes down, staring intently at their drinks.
"Can't you go and see her or something? Beg for her to come back?"
He expelled air between his teeth. "Believe me Lily, I tried begging once before." Lily's eyes turned grave.
"Then try again."
When the hour was up Sarah slowly packed her notebook and pens away, taking her time since she had nothing to do but study. It had been a fairly average seminar; they had discussed the duality of good and evil and compared King Horn to Sir Orfeo, but all in all Sarah had been bored by it and had barely contributed. Mr Scales had noticed, and asked her to remain behind on the pretext of discussing a paper. When the room was empty, he asked Sarah to close the door.
"Sarah, I know something is wrong. Where is Lily really?"
Sarah fought back tears. "She left. Went off with some guy."
Mr Scales grimaced. "Is he safe, is he good to her?"
Sarah immediately pictured Froud jumping in front of Lily to shield her from a wolf and she softened.
"He's great actually…one of the best guys ever…"
"Well then, at least she is safe. It's a shame about her studies…and I suppose she is not coming back?"
"Definitely not. She made that very clear."
"Ah. Well, at some point the course administrator will need to process her withdrawal."
"Good luck getting her to sign the documentation."
"Yes…I rather think I should just admit defeat now." He grinned meekly, his eyes wrinkling.
Sarah sighed and tried to smile back, but failed to convince him.
"I can tell there is more to this than Lily, Sarah. I may be old and awful at comforting people, but you can tell me."
Sarah looked into the kind eyes of the man who had introduced her to feminist theory, who had consistently given her first class marks and who always lit up when she was in his seminar, and broke down.
"I don't know what to do anymore!" she released, and sat back down in a heap in the nearby chair. "I am so torn with what to do with my life…" She tried to phrase her predicament carefully. "I've been given an offer to move to the most amazing place – with Lily, in fact – and everything would be paid for, I'd have to do nothing at all. There is someone else there…someone who used to be really cruel to me but now loves me. A part of me loves him too, and I want to give up everything to see him again, but another part of me can't bear giving in. I would be in his world, in his life, and have no life of my own."
Mr Scales was rather taken aback by Sarah's candid response, but processed it quickly nonetheless and almost seemed to know exactly how to handle it.
"Sarah, surely if this man loves you then he will want you to have your own life?"
"I guess so, but how can I? I'll be unqualified, I'm only twenty one and I've never had a proper job…"
"Who are you worrying about here? Yourself or everyone else?"
Sarah hesitated and finally expelled in frustration, "I don't know!" before burying her face in her hands. "Everything here now just feels so…grey…"
Mr Scales furrowed his grizzled brow and wrapped his fingers around his chin thoughtfully. "Do you remember on Friday when I was rambling on about Sir Orfeo?"
Sarah rose from her hands. "Yeah. It kinda stuck with me actually." The queen might have preferred to stay…
"Well, I think I was wrong when I focused too much on the theme of power. Sometimes in life it doesn't matter where the power seems to be, Sarah, so long as you know where it actually is. You might feel that the only thing stopping you is what other people think, but contemplate stories. People like me make it their profession to read too far into words." He chuckled and rubbed his left eye. "In stories it is fun to read between the lines, but at the end of the day it's just speculation. Only the author knows what they intended for their characters. You are the author of your own life Sarah. If we went through life only looking at how things appear, then we would get nowhere."
Sarah gasped in realisation and uttered in response,
"The way forward is sometimes the way back."
Mr Scales looked at Sarah, puzzled. "I'm sorry – I don't follow."
Sarah laughed and put her hand on her forehead. "I've been thinking that I need to proceed in this world in the normal way, pushing forward, but it's just setting me back. I'll never get anywhere unless I listen to what I think is the right way."
Sarah frantically began to gather her coat and bag.
"Sarah." She paused. "Where is this place you are going?"
"I can't really say."
Mr Scales nodded knowingly. "I thought as much. I'll let you go then." He stopped for a moment. "I'll miss you in my class."
Sarah looked up. "What do you mean?"
Mr Scales looked woeful and pensive as he rose. "I can tell you are on the cusp of the greatest adventure of your life, and I doubt I will be seeing you next seminar. Or ever again, for that matter."
Sarah felt heavy with sadness. "Sir, I don't even know if I'm going yet."
He chuckled again. "Please, call me John. I can't stand 'sir'. And I know that you will leave one way or another. Here, let me embrace you. It has been an honour teaching you Sarah Williams."
A sad smile written on her face, Sarah pulled to John and gave him a daughterly embrace. "Say hello to the King for me," he whispered in her ear.
Shock caused Sarah to convulse away from John. "What did you say?"
Chuckling, John went to his desk to retrieve his items. "Oh nothing…let's just say I only transferred to teach here recently. It was about five years ago now…before then, I was somewhere much further away."
Frozen to the spot and legs shaking, Sarah replied slowly, "Where? Where were you?"
John rubbed his glasses with a handkerchief. "It was a very fine place; serene, in fact. The moon looked like it was made of crystal…I spent my entire life there, hidden in the depths of a dark city, studying literature and wishing to be free. I was sent there as a child, you see, by very cruel brothers. When I met the ruler I was very afraid, but he loved games and I made a bet with him; I said if he was ever beaten then he must set me free, and he agreed. Foolishly, I might add, because one day you, my dear,"
Sarah's eyes overflowed in realisation and her mouth drooped open slightly.
"You came and set me free. My champion. So how wonderful was it that I should find your name on this year's enrolment list?"
"What are you saying, John?" she choked back more tears.
"I am saying that I know. I know where you have been; I can smell that place a mile off."
She blushed and felt exposed, as if her worlds were merging again.
"If this man, as you say, is no longer cruel, then go to him. He needs you. That place needs you. We always did."
Unable to talk and barely able to breathe, Sarah watched her beloved teacher pick up his briefcase and wander into the corridor. Leaning around the door, he said, "I will be here teaching the craft of escapism to those who need it most, but you need more than that. Go. Escape!" Grinning with tears in his aged eyes, he left the doorway and his footsteps echoed down the corridor.
Utterly confused and overwhelmed, Sarah ran from the building into the cold miasma to find her bike.
AN: I called this chapter 'In the Next Room' after the poem, because for me this chapter represents the merging of Sarah's worlds. I am glad I finally got to reveal who Mr Scales is. I planned from his introduction to know more about Sarah's life than she thought, so here it is. I hope it pleases – as always, please review. There will not be much chance to change the story's path in a few chapters' time.