Twenty-six

Delicate Divulgences and Discussions

Trinity stood a moment then went to light a couple of the lanterns in her room. Having done so, the first thing she saw was Erik's boots thrown haphazardly in a corner. Bending to pick them up she was caught off guard by the weight of them. They seemed to be extraordinarily heavy. The leather and craftsmanship were of the best quality. Going to her wardrobe she opened the door then set them on the bottom shelf among her accessories and shoes. His shirt was in between the bed and her night table. She picked it up then stuffed it under her pillow. She did not see his socks anywhere. Scrambling around to hide this evidence of Erik's visit Trinity had called to her brother Lucas trying to placate him with an assurance she was on her way.

Glancing around she saw nothing that would make anyone think she had not been alone in her room. She opened her door and Lucas pushed past her in agitation. It occurred to Trinity she was going to have to speak with her family members about this habit they had of wanting to carry on conversations in the middle of the night. She was as guilty as they were when it came to late night conversations and visits. From the time she was old enough to have problems she and her brothers had always gone to one another when they had difficulties. If a problem kept them awake it was accepted to share what troubled you. They had spent many nights growing up deep in conversation.

She did not want to curtail their openness with one another. On the contrary, Trinity would need her family now more than ever. These nocturnal visits were what had to change. Why they thought more could be solved in the wee hours of the morning she would not even try to surmise. Things were different. What was acceptable a few months ago no longer fit into her scheme of things now, many things had changed.

"What took you so long? I was beginning to think I would have to wake the household just to gain entrance to your room. You don't have a man hiding in here do you?" His remark was so close to the truth she turned to hide the evidence of her blush she could feel warming her face.

"Well dear brother in case it has escaped your notice it is long past the time normal people have gone to bed and fallen asleep. If you wanted a quicker response might I suggest the next time you wait until morning?" Having regained her composer she turned back around folding her arms across her chest then she continued, "So what is the urgency? What could not wait until morning? This had better be worth disturbing my beauty sleep."

Lucas laughed pulling her forward so he could kiss her cheek. "You know you are already beautiful. It would give you an unfair advantage if you were to improve what you already have. Besides how does one improve what is already perfection?" Lucas smiled gauging how effective his blatant flattery was on Trinity.

"Stop that right now. Flattery only works if you have not deprived the woman of her much needed rest. Please sit and stop hovering over me. You know how I hate you men towering over me. Why I could not be blessed with more height is a mystery to me. All the people of tall stature in our family and I take after our mother's short relatives."

Lucas went to take the seat she gestured toward. Before sitting down he picked up a man's sock from the floor then one from the back of the chair. Holding them aloft he cocked his eyebrow as he inquired, "Anything you wish to tell me? Perhaps you have had a nocturnal visitor already. Should I look under the bed or in the closet?"

He laughed as she jumped up a couple of times before snagging the pair of socks. Her face was flushed with embarrassment as well as agitation at how close to the mark his offhand statement was. "Don't be silly. I...I went for an early ride one morning and as it was chilly I borrowed a pair of Raoul's socks."

"Raoul's socks huh? Should Papa, Matthew and I take him aside and have a discussion with him? A friendly discussion, mind you, nothing violent."

"Don't you dare, you leave poor Raoul alone. Come to the point of this visit or you may leave just as you came."

With a suddenness that had her blinking Lucas seemed to deflate from cocky assurance to a confused, less sure being within the passage of mere seconds. He sighed loudly sinking down heavily into the delicate chair which creaked and groaned in protest of such treatment.

"I am at a loss Trinity. Nothing like this has ever happened to me. One moment I am free as a bird then the next I feel as if my heart has been caged. The feeling is frightening in that I have no clue how to proceed, but at the same time it is not an unpleasant feeling to have someone else holding your heart in their hands. Not that I am at that point yet or anything. For God's sake we just met. It's just...when I look at her I feel this warmth starting in my chest then gradually spreading outward. It isn't just a physical attraction. I have felt that with many women and nothing like this has ever happened. So what do you think? What should I do? I have to confess I have never pursued anyone who wasn't experienced in what goes on between a man and a woman. I am sure she is innocent and frankly that scares the hell out of me."

Trinity waited to be sure he had come to his rather long confession. Now if she knew who he was referring to she may be able to give him some useful advice. The only women he had just met were Christine, Trinity shuddered at that possibility, then relaxed as Christine was in no way an innocent. Then there were the servants. She had not noticed him paying any particular one more attention than any of the others. He had met Meg...Dear Lord. Lucas was smitten with Meg. She had to be the one he was speaking about in such glowing terms. The innocent description fit. For all her flirting Meg had kept herself chaste, even with the temptation of all the nobles who came backstage to flatter the performers in hopes of finding a bed partner for a night or a mistress for a longer association.

She pulled a chair from the corner placing it across from him. She sat down pulling the shawl around her shoulders she had picked up on her way to the door. She did not want to take time to get her robe. The shawl had been closer. If Lucas would not have asked questions she would have slipped Erik's shirt on.

Trinity sat back with a mischievous smile on her face. She continued to look at Lucas in silence. He began to fidget, a first for the eldest of her brothers. Honestly, she could not remember either brother being anything other than confident in any situation. It would seem she was not the only Hardcastle to fall for someone she had not known very long. In her opinion love was not measured by a time clock. She had only met Erik a little over two months ago. It seemed as if he had always been a part of her life. Perhaps if one believed in such things, they had known each other in a former life.

"Lucas I can't tell you what to feel. I can't say whether it could be something real or a passing fancy. Only you can know that for certain. I will say Meg is a wonderful person. Any man who eventually wins her will be a lucky man. My suggestion is get to know her mother at the same time you are getting to know Meg. Impress Antoinette and then the only one you have to worry about is Meg. We can plan a few outings so you have a chance to be with her and still comply with propriety."

"I hope I don't need to caution you that Meg is not like all those other women you have pursued in the past. She is not experienced despite how she may sound sometimes. You can't play fast and loose with her. Be sure dear brother of how you feel before you take the relationship beyond hand holding and a few stolen kisses."

Lucas' attention centered on what she said he sat up straighter then asked with suspicion, "And just what would my baby sister know about what comes after handholding and kissing?"

"Well I...you...Good grief Lucas I am over the age of consent. Why I could even marry without Papa's permission if I chose. All I was saying is, be careful with Meg. If you think Papa is a sight to behold I do think Antoinette could make him seem tame if the need arose. She had control over the whole of The Paris Opera House ballet corp. In addition she was a stand in mother figure and a sort of go-between the managers and a ...a sort of patron of the opera house, someone who was a little on the unreasonable side at times."

"Well I suppose I should let you get your beauty sleep. Not that you need it. I'll see you in the morning for breakfast. Perhaps we can formulate a plan of action after breakfast." Lucas kissed her good-night. Closing the door behind him Trinity sighed before getting into bed. Laying back she remembered Erik's shirt. Sitting up she ripped the gown she wore over her head. Putting on his shirt made her feel as if he were there with his arms wrapped around her. She could even smell him on the fabric. With a smile she settled down to go to sleep.

It was perhaps a half an hour before there was another knock on the door. Hoping she was dreaming she pulled the covers over her head. Another knock sounded then a whisper, "Trinity baby? Are you awake? It's Papa. I need to speak with you, Trinity?" her father called as he rattled the knob. Thank goodness she had never lost the habit of locking her door when not at home.

Trinity could only imagine something horrible had happened. Did he have some sort of attack? He did not sound as if anything were wrong with him. Taking off Erik's shirt she put her gown over her head mumbling through the fabric, "One moment Papa. I'm coming." She got out of bed as she quickly pulled the gown down over her hips.

Hurriedly she went to open her door before he could knock again. She opened the door to see her father standing there still fully dressed. His hair was standing on end as if he had repeatedly run his fingers through it. He stepped into her room briskly, shutting the door behind him. Taking a few steps into the room he began to pace around agitatedly.

Trinity thought it best to let him wind down before she asked what was wrong. Before she could speak her father stopped abruptly to hold his arms out at his sides as he asked, "Trinity, I am not a repulsive man am I? Would a woman not find something attractive about me? I know my finances are attractive, but...well...damn it all would not a woman think I had something to recommend me even without the things I could buy for her?"

Well this answered her question as to whether or not her father wished to pursue his interest in Antoinette or not. It would seem her family had to return to France to find someone they could be interested in. Going to her father she laid her hand on his chest in a reassuring gesture.

"Oh Papa of course you are not repulsive, far from it. You have much to recommend you. You are loyal, generous and kind to those less fortunate, a fair disciplinarian and last but not least, you know very well you are handsome. Have not the single older women been chasing you for years? What was that one's name last year that brought every dessert under the sun trying to win your favor?"

"Abigail Johnson. Ah...yes, a pleasant woman if a bit talkative. Near wore my ears clean from my head with her chatter. She did put me mind of you when you're nervous. You do tend to chatter when something is agitating you. Your mother, God rest her soul was the same. Abigail took it to a higher level I do declare." He shuddered in remembrance.

"Papa she was nervous, much like I am when I tend to chatter. The more nervous she was the faster she talked. I do admit though she did get on one's nerves after an hour or so. Good Lord, is that what I sound like when I get started? Why did no one ever tell me? I feel so embarrassed to think how many times I chattered on just to fill in the silences that made me even more nervous. Poor Erik…. I mean poor everyone who had to listen to me. Why I wonder how many people I bored to death? I…" Trinity trailed off as she realized she was in chatter mode.

"Papa I felt an affinity with Abigail. I would listen to her out of sympathy for her nervousness. Sometimes for hours until you came in from the stables."

"You tolerated her for more than an hour? Trinity someone should pin a medal on you for your perseverance and kindness. I could have stood the chatter if she had not taken it into her head I would find her stomach troubles interesting. They were not in the least bit entertaining, let me tell you. If she had to constantly be in conversation one would think she would find a more interesting topic."

"Papa I never knew you felt like that about her. You always seemed to be thoroughly engrossed in her conversation whenever I would join you."

"Well I could hardly tell the dear woman she was boring me to tears now could I? Besides she made the best damn desserts in the state of Virginia. My stomach and palate would have strenuously objected if I had displeased her."

"The reason I came here was not anything to do with Abigail. No, I find my interest peaked by Antoinette, a charming well rounded woman."

"Papa, I am shocked! You noticed how round she was?" Trinity tried to instill genuine shock into her voice while trying to keep her lips from twitching.

Andrews face reddened. The tide of crimson went all the way to his ears. He began to stutter in protest, "Trinity I...well I never...How could you...I meant well rounded as in intelligent. I was not referring to her figure in any way. Why I hardly noticed her trim dancers figure or her attributes. I am a gentleman after all and I would never...well the very idea...well it is simply preposterous." He eyed her sternly, daring her to contradict him. As she let unrestrained laughter break free he looked at his daughter in consternation. She had been pulling his leg the whole time. The very idea, making her Papa squirm on the end of the hook like that, well…he began to grin in return. It was sort of amusing if looked at from the other side of things, he supposed.

"Young lady you are not too old to bend over my knee." His stern countenance gave way to a wider grin as he continued, "You have grown up Dumplin'. Please don't begrudge and old man one last time with his baby daughter before he has to concede she has grown into a woman. Does this new maturity have anything to do with a certain Mr. Merlot by any chance? Merlot, hah! If he must use subterfuge please advice him to come up with something more believable before your brothers and I discuss certain matters with him."

"Papa please do not judge him too harshly. He...he has not had an easy life as you can imagine. How he dealt with things was influenced by the treatment he received as a child. Papa I don't know the whole sorry tale yet, but what I know breaks my heart. It is a wonder he survived at all. I can't imagine anyone living as he had lived. All I ask, is you speak with him with an open mind. Don't let Lucas or Matthew hurt him. Although I do have a feeling Erik can defend himself adequately. He may be able to hold his own with those two. And you Papa, don't you go into one of your tirades and hurt him either. Anything that happened between us was with my consent. Nothing was done by force."

"And just was it that took place between this man and my innocent daughter?" His joviality had been replaced with a stern questioning look. It was one thing to imagine things, it was quite another to have his daughter all but confirm his suspicions.

"Whatever took place between Erik and I will stay between the two of us. Just know that I love him and that feeling is returned."

"I won't make any promises I may not be able to keep. I will promise to be as fair with him as I have been with everyone else. I suppose I should say good-night now, thank you Dumplin', for not thinking your father a foolish old man concerned with how a woman will look at him."

"Papa, you aren't old and you have never been foolish. I love you Papa." She went to her father and hugged him. He returned the embrace laying his cheek on the top of her head.

"Have I ever told you I was pleased you and the boys stopped calling me father and began calling me Papa? Father sounded so distant. Papa makes me feel closer to all of you."

She hugged him tighter. Trinity had never really thought about it. She could not even say who first had called him Papa. When they were very young he had seemed so big and fierce to them. They thought he could move mountains single-handedly. When she was about six they had all begun calling him Papa. She still thought of him in her mind as father, but when she addressed him he was always Papa.

Before she released him she murmured, "Don't call me Dumplin'." She paused for a moment then continued, "At least not when in the company of others."

At last closing the door behind him she sighed tiredly then climbed back into bed. She was even too tired to put Erik's shirt back on. It stayed under her pillow where she could touch it during the night. She waited to see if the third member of her family would make a nocturnal visit. The only other women who would interest a young man, was Mirielle, who if she was not mistaken was interested in Nadir, despite his entranced look when he saw Meg. There were a couple of young women who helped in the kitchen. Unless Matthew went into the kitchen he would not likely meet these women. Matthew had never, to her knowledge, stepped foot in a kitchen. Nor to him tell it, would he ever.

After a half an hour her eyelids began to droop. After an hour she was sound asleep dreaming as she clutched Erik's shirt in her hand. She had no further visitors.