BONUS #21

Posted on forum: [http] [www] fanfiction [dotnet] /forum/The-Chiaroscuro-Effect/185326/

Quick note: Bonus #20 is also up there as well, for those of you who didn't see it last week. Apologies for the troll's fake update.

Amegakure

"Now," Pein said, turning to the rest of the Akatsuki, "does anyone have something actually worthwhile to tell me?"

There was a muted pause throughout the whole room before Sasori finally spoke up.

"Sunagakure no Sato is no longer in possession of the Ichibi," Sasori said. "Their reparation fees for the failed invasion of Konoha included transfer of their only jinchuuriki. The Kazekage's youngest son is now a hostage, hidden away in some unknown location."

"Wait, so Konoha has Suna's jinchuuriki now? What?" Hidan asked.

Sasori nodded.

Hidan rolled back his heels and whistled. "Wow. Your village is made of a bunch of spineless wimps, if they had to give up their tailed beast to that lot of peace-loving tree-huggers. No wonder you left."

"Speak for yourself. Weren't you born in a tourist town?" Sasori replied icily.

"Let's try to stay on topic," Itachi said quickly. "Remind me, where are the jinchuuriki all distributed again?"

"I know when the First Hokage was around, he gave the One-Tail and Eight-Tails to Sand…" Kakuzu began. "Then Two and Seven went to Cloud, Three and Six went to Mist, and Four and Five went to Rock. Meaning, they kept the Nine-Tails for themselves."

"Yes, that was implied when the Nine-Tails exploded in Konoha, idiot," Hidan snarked.

"Shut up," Kakuzu muttered. "As far as I know, Cloud lost the Seven-Tails to Waterfall when I was still there, but then they stole the Eight-Tails from Suna not long after. The Six-Tails' jinchuuriki went rogue; the positions of Four and Five are sketchy – they are still affiliated with Rock, but only very loosely."

"Cloud will be the hardest to get," Kisame mused. "Their jinchuuriki are both respectably treated and well trained. They are also both grown adults and have mastered their beasts. The others do not have the same connection with their villages. Regardless, the Leaf is the easiest target; loyal or not, they still haven't mastered their power. Whoever their two jinchuuriki are, they will be young and untrained, and one of them is a prisoner of war, not an actual citizen."

Itachi grunted tonelessly. "That would be a fair assumption – "

"Enough," Pein interrupted, and the room fell silent. "This meeting is adjourned. All of you, get out of here and return to your duties. I have some thinking to do."

The room cleared in a matter of seconds, save for two people. One of them was Konan. And the other, well, Pein had no intention of conversing with unless absolutely necessary. That was their cordial relationship. Pein did not answer unless spoken to.

Because all the power in the world didn't change the fact that Tobi was an annoying little shit.

Luckily, Tobi didn't seem at all inclined to mess with him today, and for once Pein was able to plan with ease. By the time the sun rose the next morning, he had a new set of orders ready.

The Polished Kunai

The second of the two favorite hangouts of the Konoha Jonin circle, this bar was located on the other side of the Rusty Kunai, and was ironically run by the same old war veteran – although, interestingly enough, he no longer seemed disabled when distributing drinks to that side of the room. Now, why they sometimes went to the Rusty Kunai and why they sometimes went to the Polished Kunai, Asuma had no idea. Though the Polished Kunai was much more tastefully decorated and well-kept than the Rusty Kunai, both of them took their alcohol from the same basement. He supposed that the regulars who arrived first simply picked one side of the same bar by random, and all of the people who arrived later simply congregated around the side that already had their friends in it.

"Kakashi," he greeted his old friend warmly. "Good to see you back."

"You're looking a little worse for wear," Kurenai observed.

"I've had better days," Kakashi admitted.

"So what happened? We haven't heard anything about you other than that you were really badly hurt. No one else could tell us anything, either." At this, Genma shot Asuma a sour look. "And the people who could, wouldn't."

"Look, I promised the old man I wouldn't, all right?" Asuma said.

"We did hear something about the Toad Sage and the Slug Princess coming back to town, though," Aoba interjected sneakily. "As well as the third person of their team dying. You didn't have anything to do with that, did you? Did you, Hatake? Did you?"

"What? Who? Where?" Kakashi sat up straight, looking around wildly.

Asuma groaned. "Look, just ignore him. And scratch all that business with my old man's old students. What the hell happened to you?"

"Eh," Kakashi answered lazily, immediately discarding his earlier tension and relaxing back into a pose of exaggerated nonchalance, "the fallout from a bunch of the stupid shit I normally do finally caught up to me."

"Really?" Genma asked. "What happened?"

"Things."

"What sort of things?"

"Stuff."

"What sort of stuff?"

"…Things."

"Kakashi," Kurenai whined, holding her head. "Please. It's too early for this."

"It's like six in the evening," Kakashi said innocently.

"Any time is too early for Kakashi time," Asuma groaned, tipping back a glass of extra-strong sake, hoping that by the time Kakashi really started whipping out the Mindfuck no Jutsu he'd be drunk enough to escape the worst effects.

"Come on, Kakashi, tell us," Raidou said.

"Look, it's just really stupid stuff that I really don't want to talk about," Kakashi sighed.

"That's fine," Asuma said quickly.

"But – "

"No buts, Genma. If the man doesn't want to talk, then just let him be. There's plenty of other subjects of conversation that don't center around why the hell Hatake upped and disappeared for basically a month. We can talk about something else. Capiche?"

Kakashi shot him a grateful look. Thanks, Asuma.

No problem. I owe you that much, at the very least.

"Sure," Genma sighed dejectedly.

"How about we do something else," Asuma suggested. "Like complain about our Genin teams."

"Oooh, I like that," Kakashi sat up straight like an attentive schoolchild, a twinkle in his eye.

"Sakura's still wearing her red silk dress," Kurenai whined, jumping on the train immediately. "A red silk dress. I did so much work on her – I even managed to make her start taking her training seriously by telling her 'Sasuke will only love you if you make him acknowledge you first' – but she won't. Stop. Wearing. That. Dress! Kakashi, what's your secret? How'd you get Ino to stop?"

"Oh," Kakashi said absentmindedly. "I just kept shoving her under the bus until she caved in and gave up."

"I know, but really, what did you do?" Kurenai pressed. "I want specifics!"

"I just told you," Kakashi said innocently. "I shoved her under the bus. And in front of carts. And into mud puddles…and scummy lakes…and piles of manure…"

"You ruined her clothes just to make her stop wearing them?" Kurenai asked.

"Hey – I didn't do anything," Kakashi protested, holding up both his hands. "They were all mere accidents. Training-related things, you understand. Her fault for not wearing appropriate attire."

Kurenai scratched her head as she mulled over this information.

"The Chunin Exam finals are tomorrow," Genma reminded them. "Bets are still open. All of your kids have really good stats. Do you guys want to bet on them?"

"A thousand ryo that both Naruto and Ino win their first fight, but none of them get promoted to Chunin," Kakashi answered automatically.

"Um…" Asuma glanced at Kakashi. "Are you sure it's okay for us to bet on our own teams?"

Kurenai shrugged. "Shino, I think, has a good chance against Ino. He's a smart boy. And I've trained Sakura to the best of my ability against the Byakugan. But Neji Hyuga is a very talented and intelligent young man…it's a tossup."

"Doesn't seem fair to the genjutsu users, does it?" Asuma asked. "At least you've got two kids in the finals, though. I only have Sasuke – but I think he has a good chance of making it through."

Kurenai put her chin in her hand. "Sheesh. I still can't believe all three of Gai's kids managed to make it. I do believe that at least one of my kids will make it past the first round, though. Eh, what the hell. A thousand ryo that Kakashi will win some money."

"You're not going to bet on your own kids?" Genma asked.

"I have faith in my Genin. But I also like money," Kurenai explained.

"How does that even work?" Genma asked.

Kurenai shrugged. "If Naruto and Ino win, he'll make money. If Naruto and Ino lose, he'll scam someone out of their money anyway."

"So…" Asuma said, trying to diffuse the awkward silence. "What did you do with them today, Kakashi? You weren't around to train them for the whole month, right? I remember seeing Ino and Shikamaru training with their parents…and then you had some other guy train Naruto…"

Kakashi shrugged. "I just gave them the bell test today."

"…Aren't you supposed to give them the tests on the first day or so?" Asuma asked.

"Well, I gave it to them again."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because because."

"Because because why?"

"Because because be– " A glare from Kurenai silenced him. "…Because I felt like it."

Asuma ran a hand through his hair. "What happened?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him. "What makes you think something happened?"

"Because something always happens whenever you're around, Hatake," Asuma groaned.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kakashi said, stealing a sip from the glass of a group of younger Jonin sitting a few people down from them. Not two seconds later, the victim of his alcohol theft had noticed the missing volume, and proceeded to loudly accuse his friend of drinking from the wrong glass.

"Kakashi, what happened…" Kurenai sighed.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that same question?" Kakashi protested.

"You know why," Asuma said.

"You know what I think?" Kakashi asked. "I think that you two are ganging up on me."

"What makes you say that?" Asuma asked.

"It's all part of your little conspiracy," Kakashi explained dramatically, complete with narrowed eyes and shifty hand movements. "You thought I wouldn't notice, but I'm on to you two. See, you guys keep asking me these questions, one after another, because you actually don't want me here. You're trying to annoy me into leaving, so that you two can finally have some alone time to converse with each other. Because when I'm here, you guys have to talk to me, as a mutual friend – but when I'm gone, that obstacle disappears, and – "

"Oh for love of the Rikudo; she is not my girlfriend!" Asuma said hotly.

"Look, can we talk about something else?" Kurenai added.

"See, you guys are agreeing with each other again!" Kakashi pointed out triumphantly. "Right, Genma? They're ganging up on me!" Genma was too busy laughing to dispute that claim. "See, he sees it too."

"I believe we were talking about the kids," Asuma groused.

"Oh, and there's kids involved now – Asuma, I didn't realize – "

Asuma threw up his hands. "You know what I meant! Our students!"

"Students? Me? Really?" Kakashi took a sip of his drink, and the mask went back in place before any of them could see anything. "Huh. I've been wondering why there were short people following me around for the better part of the year."

Kurenai wrinkled her nose. "Don't try to pull that on me, Kakashi. I see you and those kids messing around in Training Ground Three every morning!"

"What's Training Ground Three, again?"

"The place that you commandeered specifically for use as a meeting headquarters for Team 7 members only, even though all non-fenced-off training grounds of Konoha are supposed to be open to the public," Kurenai reminded him.

"Oh. Right. That." Kakashi took another sip of his drink, once again, too fast to see under the mask. "…There's no more Training Ground Three."

"…What are you talking about?"

"I said, there's no more Training Ground Three." Kakashi lifted a shot glass up to his lips, and then suddenly slammed it back down on the counter in realization. "Holy shit, you guys! There's no more Training Ground Three!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, man!" Asuma said quickly, grabbing Kakashi by the elbow before he could bolt. "No more Training Ground Three? No more Training Ground Three? What do you mean, there's 'no more Training Ground Three'? That place is literally an empty grass field! How can there be no more Training Ground Three?"

"Yeah, about that," Kakashi said sheepishly, "apparently, the Headhunter jutsu doesn't refill the spaces you leave behind after you return aboveground…"

They all stared at him.

"It's okay, though!" Kakashi added quickly. "I'm making them clean it up, so, it's all cool, you know! Nothing to worry about!"

Still a stunned silence.

"Only you, Kakashi," Asuma sat there, nursing his drink. "Only you would be able to destroy an empty field."

"That wasn't me; that was my Genin!" Kakashi protested. "Everything was completely fine until Naruto stepped on it!"

"Same difference," Kurenai argued.

"Look, Genma! They're agreeing with each other again – "

"For the last time, Hatake, she is not my girlfriend!"

"I didn't say she was your girlfriend. I just mentioned that you two happen to agree a lot. Why?" Kakashi grinned. "You seem pretty vehement on denying that she's your girlfriend. Maybe you're in denial. That's not healthy, Asuma-san. It really isn't."

"Oh, for the love of heaven, shut up – "

"MY BELOVED AND ESTEEMED RIVAL! WE MEET AGAIN! I HAVE HEARD THAT YOUR GENIN TEAM SUCEEDED IN DESTROYING AN ENTIRE TRAINING FIELD IN LESS THAN TEN SECONDS! SO I SHALL HAVE MY TEAM DESTROY TEN TRAINING FIELDS IN LESS THAN ONE SECOND! AND IF THEY CANNOT THEN I SHALL DO ONE THOUSAND ONE-FINGER PUSH-UPS, AND IF I CANNOT DO ONE THOUSAND ONE-FINGER PUSH-UPS THEN I SHALL RUN ONE THOUSAND LAPS AROUND KONOHA ON MY BUTT, AND IF I CANNOT RUN ONE THOUSAND LAPS AROUND KONOHA ON MY BUTT THEN I SHALL DO ONE THOUSAND PHOTO SESSIONS WITH THE SEASHELL BIKINI SWIMSUIT COMPANY – "

Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Kurenai retched onto the floor.

And Asuma contemplated taking his own kunai to the forehead.

The Nara Clan Compound

Once again, I was back at the campfire, stuck between the flickering flames and a rabbit.

But I was tired. I was so, so tired. And to think I was complaining of not having enough to do just a short while ago.

Well, now we were back to normal, kind of. Except for the rabbits. I was growing to hate the sight of the damn things.

Maybe if I focused on this tonight, I could really follow Anko's advice. Because logically, it was good advice. I wanted to listen to her, so badly. It was like that past week of me not being able to train, and going around snooping instead, had opened up this new compulsive little part of me that hadn't been there before. Or perhaps it had always been there, and it was only strong enough to show its face now.

That was the nice thing about training. It kept me busy; it helped me forget about the other stuff.

Those who walk the shadows…

"Are you all right, Shikamaru?" my father asked. "We can't continue if you're not feeling well."

"No. I can do this," I insisted. "I already took too much time off. I need to pull myself back together."

"Don't pretend you were sitting around all day like the medics told you," my father said, a teasing lilt to his voice. "I saw you staying up way past your bedtime all those nights with a big pile of books."

"Don't tell mom," I cut in quickly, and he laughed.

"Since when have I ever?" Then, he sobered up. "In all seriousness, Shikamaru, don't overwork yourself. I reserve the right to halt our training sessions if I think you need it." He sat down on the log, and pulled out another rabbit. "Ideally, you'd master this as soon as possible and then never use it again. But the way this generation attracts trouble…"

"Orochimaru. Sand. Cloud. Konoha," I said, the words coming out like a familiar prayer. "Anything else?"

"There is always something worse out there, Shikamaru."

"If only I knew what they were."

He closed his eyes and put his head on his knees. "I know you hate me for not telling you anything, Shikamaru, but some things are just too dangerous for you to know right now. At least right now, you have plausible deniability, should anything happen. What sort of father would I be, if I took that away from you?"

Something about that sounded extremely familiar, but I had no idea what, and it was driving me absolutely nuts.

"Tell you what, Shikamaru," my father sighed. "When you master this technique – not just learn it, master it, and show me that you can properly control it without supervision – I'll tell you everything you need to know."

"Fine."

"Information that must otherwise remain confidential," he added.

"Of course."

Information I plan to find out anyway, I thought, but I didn't tell him that.

God, I hated this technique. It was an undignified conglomeration of contradictions. I couldn't practice it extensively, not in the same way I hammered at ninjutsu until I got them down, because I couldn't work when my father didn't allow me to. And yet I still had to master it, because of my father's added incentive, and also because not being able to do so personally offended me.

Tonight was supposed to be warm, and yet all I could feel when I stared at the rabbit was fear.

It was illogical. I knew it was illogical. It was a rabbit, for the love of – whatever. Sure, wild animals could be aggressive, and a rabbit could do plenty of damage if it felt threatened, but this one was several meters away from me and stuck in a snare besides. I could easily kill it with a kunai before anything happened.

No. I wasn't afraid of the rabbit. (But I was.) (But I wasn't.) I wasn't afraid of the rabbit killing me, like I might be of a hungry tiger. It was just…every time I practiced this technique, I had the feeling that there was something else…there…

Anko was right; I had to check myself. My success with Izumo and Konohamaru was going to my head. Baby steps. It's not enough to be clever; you have to be wise. And wise people don't overload themselves.

Oh, but it was just so difficult to leave things be…

I thought I had more self-control than this. I really did.

Kakashi-sensei. Ino. Naruto. You're really going to leave them alone? You're really going to just let something like this go? You can't. What's more important? Keeping them safe, or hiding in a box inside your own mind because you're too afraid to take action? You've already started turning the wheels, and there's no stopping it now. No, more than that – you've been on the wheel the entire time, and only now you've realized it was turning. And now that you know the wheels are turning, how can you un-learn that? Hm?

I was like my mother. Always a compulsive need to act. The thing was, I couldn't for my life understand why any of what I was doing could be bad. I mean, of course driving myself crazy was never the point of that, but it was absolutely preposterous, to compare me to Orochimaru. I could make a list right now, of what not to do. No kidnapping orphans. No experimenting on humans. No torture or sadism. Easy.

This was just to make sure Orochimaru wouldn't come after my friends again. As soon as I knew for certain that he was caught and gone, I would rest easy, and put this all behind me, and relax like a normal person. Unless, of course, another problem sprang up. Then I'd just take care of that one when the time came.

"If only we could all just…" he trailed off, looking up. He sounded extremely defeated and sad.

"Let me guess: everyone in the world should just stop all this and take up cloud watching just like you, right?" I smiled.

"Exactly. Like that. Or stargazing, if you prefer," my father said, gesturing at the sky. "The stars move even more slowly than clouds. I like that." He turned to me. Well, enough of that. "Are you ready?"

I nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be."

He nodded. "Then let's get started."

I readied my shadow. The chakra slid from my fingertips to my feet. It ran down my back in an icy trail, bleeding along the dark earth, as slick as oil and as thick as blood.

Unlike the other Kagemane techniques, there is no true time limit, since it does not require a continuous stream of chakra to maintain. To be honest, it's not truly a chakra construct, either. It requires chakra to "start" the process, but once it's going it's only a matter of your own strength of will, within your own mind – and that has nothing to do with chakra at all, my father had told me, the first night we had tried it. And unlike the Yamanaka jutsu, it doesn't leave the user defenseless. But there are some very serious side effects that you must always be aware of.

The rabbit twitched.

When you split the consciousness, Shikamaru, you also split your sanity. This is why you cannot use this technique as freely as the Yamanaka do with their own. Because their technique requires a continuous stream of chakra, they are always connected with their own body even when in someone else's. This form of possession, on the other hand, provides no such safeguard.

It curled up on itself.

Why is it necessary to split the consciousness, then? I had asked. Wouldn't a whole mind work better for a complete mental takeover?

It tried to run home, but could not.

In order for a complete mental takeover to take place, there can be no continuous stream of chakra from the remote user. Your mind must be independent of you, and wholly attached to its new host. If there is no continuous stream of chakra, what else can your mind use to find its way back home?

It was white.

Its other half. Its missing piece. The only semblance of itself it still has.

I closed my eyes and focused on my shadow. The last several attempts had ended in failure, which my father had expected. I could pinch my shadow down to an almost invisible thread, but when it came to the separation, I was at a complete loss. I would always end up blacking out and waking up in my own bed in the morning, completely exhausted. It was just impossible, my logical mind supplied, to separate the shadow of one object into two pieces without cleaving the object itself in two. And I was not really keen on cutting myself apart.

I thought back to the time when my father was teaching me the Shadow Clutch and the Shadow Threads, and how I had the same trouble trying to figure out how to get the shadows off the ground at first. It was all about the chakra, and the mental will. Except that this technique, if done right, according to my father, should barely use any chakra at all. Just a little bit, for the final snip, to separate the pieces, and then the rest was up to you. A literal split of the human consciousness, embodied in a structure created by the absence of light.

I heard myself breathe.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

In. Out. In. Out. In.

I heard the rabbit's heartbeat.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump –

Wait. There. Right there. A flicker of light in the middle of the shadow, a crack in the fabric of darkness…wait −

Almost there…

And then the sea of oily bloody ink spilled back down upon me, from the treetops all the way down to the earth, one massive absence of light.

You cannot run. You cannot hide. Not from me, for I am a shadow.

One half plus one half equals one whole, says the rabbit (what?).

I blacked out.

A/N: If you could punch anyone, real or fictional, in the face without suffering any consequences, who would it be?