Chapter 26
His shock was apparent in the loud rattle of cup against saucer as he fought his shaking hand to put it down safely.
Seeing his wide-eyed stare she rushed into speech, "I'm sorry Vincent! I didn't mean to put you on the spot that way! I should never have asked!" Usually a very confident self assured woman, she was amazed at how mortified she felt right then. Not knowing where to look, she settled on her hands which she was wringing together in her lap.
"Of course I find you attractive, Catherine. I am sorry I haven't ever told you, but you see, it has always been clear to me that I have no right to express those kinds of things to you."
"Why ever not?" her shock shot her head up to stare into his face.
"Because of what I am," he said sadly.
"Kind? Considerate? Caring? Loving? Wonderful?" she challenged.
"No, Catherine, because of this," he said, holding up his clawed, furred hands for her to see.
"Who ever told you that?" she demanded.
"Father," he answered.
"Well, I will have a few choice words for him the next time we meet!" she insisted. "But in the mean time, don't you know how beautiful I find you? Vincent you say you know my feelings, surely you know I'm telling you the truth!"
"Catherine…" he started to protest, but she interrupted him.
"Test the Bond if you don't believe my words! Doesn't it tell you my true feelings? Or does it lie to you Vincent?" She waited for him to do as she insisted and watched his face as it changed from doubt and disbelief to wonder and awe.
"Catherine," he whispered softly, unable to say more.
But she needed this point pressed home. "What does the Bond tell you Vincent? What are my feelings about you?"
His cheeks took on a rosy glow even in the dim light on the balcony and he answered slowly, "You find me…bea…attractive…"
"And what else?" she inquired.
He allowed her emotions to wash over him, not sure what else she could mean. His eyes flew to meet hers in stunned disbelief before he dropped them just as quickly in abject shyness.
Reaching out, she took his chin in her hand and pulled his face back to look at her. "What else am I feeling, Vincent?"
"D…d…desire…for me!" he stuttered.
"Why does that shock you so Vincent?"
"Because I never dared dream or hope that you…or anyone…would ever have those kinds of feelings for me!" he responded honestly.
"Well then it might also come as a shock to know that I love you," she smiled gently at him.
"You do?" Clearly her revelation had stunned him.
"I do," she said with deliberate emphasis, almost as if she were making a vow!
Realizing the implications of what Catherine had just said to him, Vincent was confronted with a personal turmoil. While his mind was replaying all the years of warnings from Father, his heart was rejoicing as a whole new vista of possibilities opened up to him. She let him take all the time he needed to process this, knowing that he must be fighting an internal battle from the years of conditioning by Father. Finally he spoke hesitantly, "Catherine, I never dared hope that any of this could be possible for me, but if what you are saying is true…would you allow me…to kiss you?"
"No, Vincent," she answered firmly and as she saw the sadness start to fill his eyes, she quickly continued, "There is no 'allow' between two people that love each other. If you want to kiss me then you may do so at any time, and I would hope that I could do the same to you."
He tilted his head to the side and gave her a shy smile of happiness, "Catherine…I have never done this before. Will you tell me what pleases you?"
"We will explore together, Vincent. Just do what ever feels good, nothing is wrong between us," she assured him.