Disclaimer: No, I don't own Vampire Knight or the characters. All rights go to Matsuri Hino.
A/N:
ASDFGHJKL. I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE, YOU GUYSSS! T-T
Needless to say, school is kicking my ass so hard. Y'all have no idea how badly I'm dying in a majority of my classes. I want to flip tables. I feel like there's no time to do anything anymore, let alone write. T_T I think that today was the first time I've touched a word document that wasn't for homework in, like, the entire two months I didn't update. -CRIES-
BUT ANYWAYS. Yeah, sorry. I STILL DON'T PLAN TO ABANDON THIS STORY, THOUGH. SO NO WORRIES!
Saving you guys the agony of having to read any more of my blabbering...
The man that you've all been waiting for finally makes his appearance again in this chapter! OH SNAP! EXCITEMENT.
Read on, m'loves! READ ONNNN! (:
Shitsuren.
A Vampire Knight fanfiction.
_"Broken Heart"_
CHAPTER T_W_E_N_T_Y_S_I_X;
"With Distance"
DAY TWENTY-SEVEN - DAY TWENTY-NINE
I stood in front of the large, mansion-like building with nonchalance decorating my features. Actually, it leaned more towards a frown than anything else, but it wasn't because of the fact that the house was displeasing—in fact, I felt uneasy because it was so antique and elegant. It stood regally in the middle of what could've been nowhere, since the town was so small and so abandoned with only a few people out and about. It towered over all the other buildings. With ivory walls, three-paneled windows that angled toward the middle section, and thick double doors that had elaborate glass on either side, the mansion could have passed for something out of a novel set back in the early Victorian era.
Eyeing the vines that wound up and crept along the walls, as well as the lack of light emitting from the drawn-back curtains, I couldn't help but wonder if anyone actually lived in the place. It was beautiful, yes, but I had no doubt that it could look ten times more magnificent if it was just taken better care of.
Frankly, it looked like a mansion that could be used as a basis for horror myths. That really wasn't a compliment.
Gazing at the enormous house as I stood on the street with a duffle bag slung carelessly over my shoulder, I was sure that if anyone lived in that house—from what I knew, there was supposed to be people residing in the building—then they'd be wondering if I was an insane idiot that needed to be reported to the police.
A gust of biting wind blew by, tearing through my thick winter jacket and penetrating my skin. It was ridiculously cold, yet it hadn't snowed yet—I wasn't sure whether I was happy that I wouldn't have to walk around in knee-high piles of white fluff, or if I hated it, because that meant I couldn't use the snow as a hiding mechanism if I ever needed to. Falling face-flat into snow in order to hide from certain people or certain things wasn't really that bad, since it was soft. After a while, it just felt like you didn't have a face anymore.
Shaking my head, I reprimanded myself for my digressing thoughts. The cold didn't necessarily bother me—I hated both blazing or freezing weather, but I was used to both of them—but I knew that I couldn't stay out on the street in front of the mansion forever.
So taking in a deep breath and letting it out steadily, I forced myself to place one foot in front of the other despite the uneasy sensation in my chest and the dread that tickled my spine. My senses were on high alert, because no matter how I looked at it, something about the place wasn't right. It was just—there was something so off about it.
It made me feel like bugs were crawling all over my skin.
By the time I climbed up the porch steps and rang the doorbell—which took forever to find, because for some stupid goddamn reason, it was stuck behind one of the pillars that stood a foot or two ahead of the doors—my expression had gone from bordering on a frown into a full-blown scowl. The negative emotions that seemed to slap at me automatically made my face scrunch up, no matter how hard I tried to smooth it over.
In my mind, I cursed at myself for losing my touch. Being around people again was creating changes in me that seemed unfamiliar. They were forming me into someone that I didn't quite know, and I would rather die than admit it aloud, but it scared me.
My thought process was broken before it got any deeper and darker as the door slowly opened up with a faint, almost nonexistent, creak. I stood rigidly with my senses on high alert, waiting for someone's face to appear at the door and greet me with useless pleasantries that we both knew neither one of us cared about, but that didn't happen.
Nobody was there.
The scowl on my face simply contorted even deeper, my lavender eyes narrowing into a suspicious glower. The warning bells inside my mind began to ring even louder, reminding me to be cautious. Pressing my lips tightly together, I slowly began to reach out, preparing to push the door open a bit more if I needed to.
"Hello?" My voice was bland except for the wariness that caped it.
There was no response from inside.
Ignoring the fact that I would be invading into the family's privacy—and the fact that I could be charged with trespassing or breaking in—I was just about to push the door open and stroll inside when, abruptly, the door slammed shut thunderously just as my fingertips brushed against the smooth wood.
The action was unexpected, but I knew that a part of me deep down had been considering it an option. Nonetheless, it still jolted me slightly, and my mind immediately conjured up, What the fu—I broke my own train of thought off.
It would've been so easy to turn around and go back to Cross Academy, pretending like this entire incident didn't occur. I could lie about it and say that I had visited and that nothing went wrong, and nobody would really actually know. It would make my life a lot less of a pain in the ass to do so. Staying here and investigating what was happening would be problematic, no doubt.
Yet every time I thought about simply turning on my heels and walking away, a single word flashed through my mind and I couldn't bring myself to leave.
Shiki.
The eerie house was definitely not normal. Something about it radiated a tipped equilibrium, and I was not going to leave without figuring out what it was and then fixing it. A million scenarios ran through my mind, and none of them were pleasant—which was all the more reason to stick around and find out.
Clenching my hand into a fist, I raised it up and was just about to rap my knuckles on the door—my muscles tensed in case I needed to punch whatever was going to fly out at me—but it was proved unnecessary because the wooden barrier opened once more. I half-expected nobody to be there, just like the first time, which was why it surprised me just a tad when a figure stood behind the door.
No matter how I looked him, the male was undoubtedly a vampire. His dark hair was combed back to reveal his slightly large forehead, his equally opaque eyes shielded with non-reflecting lenses. He didn't flinch as the light from outside hit him and tentatively touched the shadows of the unlit household, but his eyes narrowed to see more clearly. I wondered who he was for a moment, but as my eyes scanned his attire, I realized that he was probably just a butler that kept everything in order.
My eyebrows knotted together as I assessed him warily for a moment, something about him seeming very familiar. I was sure that I recognized him from somewhere, but I wasn't sure where I had seen him before. Perhaps it had been around town whenever I dropped by with Zero or Kaien or Yuuki, or maybe he was a Night Class student that worked here part-time and I just never really noticed him despite knowing, in the very back of my mind, that someone with his face existed.
I pushed everything to the back of my mind when he spoke.
"Can I help you with anything?" His voice was rough around the edges, and sounded just as wary as I felt underneath the casual, friendly tone. Nothing gave away my thoughts as I asked bluntly, "Who are you?"
Dark eyes narrowed just the slightest fraction. It could've been non-existent or just a figment of my imagination, but I was so sure that it wasn't. "I believe that that's my line."
"It's none of your business," I retorted, wracking my brain for a time in which I had seen him. The more I gaped at him through my scowl, the more I felt like I recognized him. It bothered me more and more that I couldn't put my finger on his identity.
"The same for you," came his cool, cold response. "Generally speaking, strangers don't approach another stranger's house without any specific reason to simply ask who lives there. Are you the new neighbour?" Sarcasm dripped scathingly from his last sentence, and I couldn't help but glower at him with just as much emotion. He and I both knew—hell, I was sure that everyone within the area knew—that the huge mansion was in the middle of nowhere. The chances of having a new house built next to such a shady-looking house in such a remote area would be slim to none.
"Yes," I played along sardonically. "I wanted to drop by and get to know my new neighbours more. I was expecting an invitation into the household. Oh, you already asked me if I wanted to come in for tea? Well, darling, I'd love to." I hadn't allowed him a single nanosecond to interrupt what I had been saying. Ignoring the dark, barely concealed look of anger on his rather young features, I merely gave him a twisted smile that I was sure made him want to just reach out and snap my neck.
"If you know what's good for you, you will not come into this—" Without letting him finish his sentence, I shoved him out of my way and stomped into the household.
Turning to look over my shoulder, I asked him in fake sweetness and surprise, "Oh, my bad. What were you saying?"
A part of me knew that I was being incredibly childish for trying to do everything I possibly could to agitate him, but he stepped on my nerves. I wanted to piss him off just as much as he irritated me so that we were even somehow. I wasn't nice enough to just let his comments and his tone slide—especially not when I got such a bad vibe from this place.
One of his eyebrows twitched, one of the veins in his neck starting to bulge. I saw his jaw clench, and his lips hardly moved as he gritted out, "Get out."
"The tea? I don't know where it is."
"You—"
"This painting is gorgeous," I interrupted him, eyeing the framed abstract piece. "It looks like you threw up all over it." I could tell from the feeling of my back being burned that he was thinking of eighteen hundred ways to murder me.
A steadying, forced inhale and loud exhale. "Leave before I call the authorities."
I looked away from the majestic winding staircase—the banister looked like it was made out of silver, and there were spirals that formed flowers—to quirk an eyebrow at him. "Authorities? Here?"
"Shall I put it in more blunt terms?" He didn't even let me blink before threatening, "I meant to say leave right now before I force you."
And that was when things got down to business.
Maybe it was the tone he had used, or the expression that was on his face. Perhaps it was the fact that we both knew that we weren't here by mere coincidence—that there was something about the other that wasn't safe, that wasn't right. It could've been the fact that any sort of amusement or entertainment had never been there in the first place.
The air hung thickly with tension, his dark obsidian eyes clashing violently with my pale lavender ones. Neither one of us moved, the only motion coming from our bodies being the slight rising and falling of our chests. It was like any single movement we made would be seen as one of aggression, and neither one of us were quite prepared to break out into a brawl right then and there.
Abruptly breaking the staring contest between the two of us was the sound of something crashing loudly. I jolted at how unexpected and roaring it was, but the middle-aged vampire clad in a crisp butler suit didn't even blink. In fact, rather than looking startled, an expression of weary amusement and exasperation lined the contours of his face.
"What was that?" I demanded, my eyes darting from him to upstairs, where the sound had come from. I didn't need to hear his answer, however, as something—someone—began to emerge out of the shadows at the top of the staircase.
Tensed, I watched with slightly widened eyes as a woman with unruly maroon locks of hair stumbled into plain view. The long, wavy tresses were disheveled, looking as if they hadn't been combed nor washed in a while, and they fell into her face almost entirely. Curling at the ends more so than the rest of her waves, they flowed around her like a curtain made out of waterfalls. Her gown was extravagant—large and somewhat poofy after the waist—with lots of bowties, but the colour was pale as if trying to lessen the glamour.
Through a gap in her red-burgundy strands, her pale cerulean eyes locked with mine, and I could feel my heart thump a little harder, my breathing hitch just slightly.
"Who are you?" Her head tilted, obscuring her vision even more. She gripped the banister tightly as she descended down the steps, though something about the way she moved was different. It wasn't as smooth as a normal vampire's, and her voice seemed to shake just slightly. If I looked closer, I saw the way her hands quaked with miniscule tremors.
"I—" the words got caught in my throat, and I unconsciously took a step back as she reached the last step, tripping over nothing but her own two feet, but catching herself before hitting the floor. She swayed as she straightened herself up again.
I wasn't sure what shook me so hard. Maybe it was the fact that they looked so alike that it was almost uncanny, or the fact that I wanted to do something—anything—to help her, but didn't know what. It wasn't my first time meeting someone whose mentality's stability was skewed, but I had never been in those people's presences for long. I would always get taken away, dragged away, or I would run and never turn back. I never had time to turn back.
Fear didn't penetrate me as I watched her, but I felt my throat close up. I blinked, unsure of what I was feeling. My own emotions bubbled up and overflowed, but they confused me. I wasn't nervous or excited or happy or upset. I wasn't ecstatic to meet her, nor was I anxiously waiting to get out of her presence.
"Who are you?" she repeated, her smooth tone docile. She meandered her way closer, and I could only watch her with cautious eyes as her rather clumsy form tipped side to side. With the short glimpses I got when her hair revealed her familiar yet foreign sapphire orbs, I saw that they darted around the room quickly. "Who are you? Where is he? Why isn't he home yet? My baby—why isn't my baby home yet?"
"I'm—"
"He can't leave!" she cut me off, her voice rising to a higher octave. Her thin arms suddenly came up to clutch at her head, which she shook from side to side violently. "He can't leave me like that—like that bastard—my baby... When is my baby coming? Why hasn't he arrived yet?" Just as unexpectedly as her actions from earlier, she released her head from her hands and then peered up at me. Arms extending, her voice trembled slightly as she reached for me. "Hey—who are you?—have you seen my baby? Have you seen—"
"I haven't—" I broke my sentence off as her arms wrapped around me. For someone who seemed so frail and so delicate, she had a vise-like grip. I tried hard not to squirm at our proximity—being so physically close to someone I wasn't familiar with always made me tense and freeze up—but I didn't doubt that even if I didn't restrain myself from doing so, her clutch on me would.
As she rested her forehead on my shoulder, I felt my entire body stiffening. The beats of my heart began to speed up, alarm bells ringing loudly inside my mind. I had to remind myself that no matter what, she was still a vampire. I had to tell myself that no matter how harmless or how broken she seemed, it didn't change what she was.
Yet as she continued to mumble about "the demonic bastard" and about how she didn't want to be alone anymore, I couldn't bring myself to push her away and tell her that she invading my personal space.
The same emotion from earlier whirled inside me again, and it took me a moment to realize that it was pity.
Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to mull over my own thoughts, because she shifted her head. Cool breaths fanned the crook of my neck, and I felt the hair on my arms rising. My hands clenched beside me, and my lips pressed tightly into a thin line as I felt her mouth opening a bit wider, her lips ghosting along my skin.
In that moment, I didn't care who she was. All I knew was that I was not going to let her drink from me. No matter how I felt toward her, no matter how much I wanted to help her or ease her suffering, I wasn't kind enough to let her sink her fangs into me and suck me dry.
Not even if she was his mother.
I was just about to push her securely away from me, but before I could do so and before her extended canines could sink into me, I felt something slid over my shoulder from behind, wrapping around my neck and then pulling me backward. I stumbled into a firm, warm chest, my eyes widening as I stared at the forearm—a forearm that surely wasn't mine—that she had bitten into.
"I've spoiled you too much, Mother." His voice, which I hadn't heard for a measly five days, hummed from behind me, echoing throughout my entire body. I felt my heart leap into my throat, my senses tingling. His scent wafted around me, enveloping me in a cape. Even though I had been sleeping in his bed and immersing myself in his blankets that faintly held his distinct fragrance, being so close to him made me realize that none of that stuff did him justice.
She didn't respond to him, busy feeding off of his blood. But her grip on his arm tightened, her body relaxing itself.
There was a part of me that was telling me not to turn and look at him—if I did, I was sure that my heart would shoot out of my chest—but another part, a stronger side, desperately wanted to see him. It hadn't even been that long, but I felt like I hadn't seen him in a millennium.
Slowly, almost tentatively, I tilted my head to look over my shoulder. Instantly, my eyes caught his, and no amount of self control would've been able to stop me from breathing his name in what could've been—but I refused to see it as such—wonder.
"... Shiki."
Apparently there was a saying that went along the lines of, "distance makes the heart grow fonder" or something like that. I had never quite understood such a thing—maybe I did, but I just never saw that I was "distant" from those people, those places—but as I stood there looking up at the maroon-haired model, I felt like I knew exactly what the saying meant.
A million emotions seemed to bombard me as I stared at him. Delight, relief, irritation, relief. The tons of bricks that had been sitting on top of my chest seemed to dissolve into thin air upon seeing that he was well—that he was alive. I hadn't wanted to believe that anything tragic had happened to him, but I knew deep down that it wasn't entirely impossible.
The fact that he was there, standing so close that only a few measly centimetres separated our bodies, made me feel like I could've flown.
My eyes raked across his face, taking in everything about him, almost as if I had never seen him before in my life. His pale skin was still as flawless and pale as ever, his eyes still a shield of blank blue ice. His thick locks of wavy hair were still rather messy, though it looked like he had tried to calm it down just a tad. Nothing about him looked different except for the slight crescents that hung under his crystalline eyes, but somehow he looked so handsome that I was speechless.
When his lips parted and he spoke, I felt like his voice had curled around me in a caress. "Sasaki." Oblivious to the fact that my traitorous heart stopped before skipping beats, his head tilted, a stray strand or two of his hair falling into his eyes. He stared at me for a moment with his apathetic expression, but his eyes burned.
Eventually, he asked quietly, "Are you alright?"
It took me a moment to find my voice, but when I spoke, it sounded strange even to my own ears. "Yes."
Another few heartbeats in which we remained silent, eyes locked, and then he finally let his gaze drop. "Good."
I had probably just imagined it, but I could've sworn that his grip around me tightened a bit, bringing me closer to him for just a second, before he loosened his hold on me.
It frustrated me to know that all I wished for at that moment was for time to stop and leave me there with him.
Resisting the urge to sigh, to reach out and embrace him, to tell him to continue holding me close, I clamped my jaw shut tightly and bit on my tongue. I struggled to smooth my expression back into something that I hoped could be seen as nonchalance, attempting to calm my racing heart in the process.
I watched as Shiki stepped closer to his mother as she finished feeding from him, his sweater's sleeve torn and his arm bleeding from the punctures. There was no emotion in his voice as he stated, "I'm home, Mother."
"Oh, Senri," she murmured, throwing her arms around him and crushing him to her despite the fact that he was much taller. She ran her hands through his hair before dropping them to his shoulders, then letting them slide down his arms. When she let him pull away, she stared at him with an unreadable expression before it quickly filled with anger. "You're starting to look more like that filthy demon every time you come visit. Your hair, your eyes, the way you're growing up—why is it him? Why are you—will you leave me, too? Will you throw me away just like he did? Senri, why is like this?"
Nothing escaped Shiki's mouth, and he made no move to console her. He merely held her in his arms as she muttered incoherently about Shiki's father and her deceased partner, his eyes gazing down at her without any emotion in them whatsoever. In fact, he looked even more detached than usual, more careless and more impassive.
Being around her made him even more hollow than he already was.
My eyebrows furrowed together, my expression twisting itself into a scowl involuntarily. My lips thinned and clenched my hands together, stuffing them into the pockets of my coat in order to stop myself from doing anything rash. No matter what seemed to have happened between them, I knew that it wasn't my place to butt into their reunion.
I wasn't even supposed to be here, anyways.
Letting out a barely audible sigh, my mind flashed back to how I had gotten here in the first place. Even now, I could barely even understand how I had managed to drag myself to the Shiki mansion.
"Rima-senpai?" Incredulity glazed over my usual stoical tone, but that couldn't be helped. Rima and I surely didn't hate each other—or so I'd like to think—but we weren't close enough to call one another up to just chat. It was an unusual occurrence, and one that I couldn't help but question.
"Sasaki," she greeted in her chiming voice. "Just the person I needed to speak with."
From beside me, Yuuki's eyebrows shot upwards, and she leaned in closer in an attempt to listen to the conversation better.
Confused and somewhat wary, I asked cautiously, "Why?"
"Have you heard from Shiki lately?" she inquired directly, not bothering to beat around the bush. I was caught off guard at her question—most people would've attempted to make some kind of small talk before jumping into it—but I had to admire how straightforward she was. I hated useless chatter, anyways.
Hearing his name coming from her made my heart squeeze a bit in my chest, but I ignored the feeling. I wasn't sure what compelled her to think that I'd be in touch with Shiki during winter break, but I had to admit that it made me feel like I was closer to him than I really was.
"No, I haven't," I answered. However, just by having her call and ask me about him, I knew that something wasn't right. Her usually indifferent voice held a tint of concern in them that only appeared when Shiki or Ichijou was involved, and I found myself asking, "What happened?"
She didn't say anything for a moment. I could imagine her shaking her head as she replied, "I don't know. I haven't been able to contact him at all. He's supposed to be back at home by now, but when I called, nobody picked up the phone. I have a bad feeling about this."
"I haven't spoken to him since he left," I informed her, trying to keep the disbelief and irritation out of my tone. What was he doing? Surely he knew that Rima would be aware of him not being home yet, or that she would be concerned if she couldn't reach him, so what in the world was he doing?
I refused to believe that anything had happened to him.
"Hmm." Her sound of contemplation only lasted a brief moment before silence filled the other line. I, too, didn't say a word. Somehow, I could feel the tension and the dark atmosphere even through the phone.
My hand gripped at the device tighter, and my other hand curled into a fist. A scowl contorted my features, an unpleasant feeling trickling along my spine. Yuuki's dark ruby eyes were trained on my face in concern, silently questioning, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I continued to stare at the spot on the ground like it was the most fascinating thing I had ever seen, trying to calm the restlessness that was beginning to bubble up inside of me.
I scolded myself whenever my mind wandered over to any tragic scenarios.
Eventually, she broke the terse silence. "Are you busy?"
"No." My eyebrows knitted together.
"Not just right now," she specified. "I was speaking about the entire break."
Puzzlement and bewilderment lined my voice. "My answer's still the same. Is there any reason why you're—"
"Go visit him," she cut me off.
Silence from my side of the line.
I blinked my eyes at the fixed area on the floor that I had been staring at, wondering if I had heard right or not. For a moment, I could've sworn that she was joking. The thought of going to Shiki's house uninvited and without his knowledge for no concrete reason—he was fine—would be stupid and unnecessary.
But I knew from her tone that she wasn't kidding.
Opening my mouth, I tried to say something, but I was in too much disbelief to do so. Shutting my jaws, I took another moment to try and compose my thoughts again before trying to speak. Opened, closed, then opened, then closed again. Eventually, I managed to squeeze out, "What?"
"He lives in a rather remote area," she notified me, almost as if I had already agreed. "It's a one-day bullet-train ride away from the town next to Cross Academy. In order to get there, you'll have to stop at—"
"What," I interrupted her swiftly, "makes you think that I'm actually going?"
She exhaled, a hint of exasperation in her tone. Or maybe I had been imagining it. I could almost hear the furrow of her eyebrows and the challenging look in her otherwise dull sapphire orbs as she asked, "Are you unconcerned about him?"
"I'm pretty sure he's not dead," came my flat and quick response. I could only hope that I sounded ten times more confident than I actually felt.
"It doesn't mean that he's okay." There was a sort of fierce emotion in her voice that startled me just slightly—although Rima had more spunk and was more vocal about her emotions than Shiki was, it was still rare to witness such a thing.
My eyes darkened, my hands clenching tighter even though it seemed impossible. Yuuki shifted uncomfortably from where she sat next to me, probably sensing the heavy tension that was created by the situation. I made sure to keep my voice neutrally blank as I asked her, "Why me? I'm sure that it'd be better if you went to visit him."
"I can't get out of my schedule." I would've asked her if her schedule was more important than Shiki's well-being if it wasn't for the remorse and self-loathing that I could hear her trying to contain. "I'm days away—it'll be too late by the time I get there, even if I sneak out."
"And Ichijou is unavailable because?"
"He's with Kaname-sama." There was some kind of tone in her voice that wasn't flattering as she said the Pureblood's name. "I don't know where they went."
Somewhat surprised, the question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. "He didn't tell you?"
"... No," she eventually sighed. Her voice lingered with exhaustion as she asked, "Sasaki, won't you check on Shiki? You're also worried, aren't you?"
"I—"
Another voice hollered Rima's name in the background, the vaguely familiar voice registering in my mind as her and Shiki's manager—I never cared enough about her to actually remember her name—and Rima's voice was muffled as she responded. I sat there waiting for her to return back to the line, a hurricane of conflicting emotions inside of me.
When she finally came back, she apologized quickly before saying, "I have to go. Get a pen and a piece of paper to write down Shiki's address and the directions to get there, Sasaki. Quickly."
Even though I didn't have any full intention of actually traveling over to his hometown—I was still fighting different sides of myself for a resolute decision—I still scrambled for the materials I needed to scrawl down his address. I barely managed to keep up with her as she threw instructions at me, telling me names of different towns and different streets. By the time she had finished, my hand hurt and was cramped from how fast I had been chicken-scratching her words down.
I turned to face the entrance to the living room, as did Yuuki, when voices filled the household just as the door opened.
Zero and Kaien had returned.
"Visit his house to make sure he's okay." It was supposed to be a question, but it sounded much more like a command. Then she said, "I know you will, Sasaki."
"Don't assume such things," came my flat retort.
"You care about him." Her voice was blasé, but there was a blanket of annoyance underneath it. "That's why I know you'll go."
My eyes narrowed at her words. "Aren't you taking advantage of me?"
"Partially," she confessed without hesitance. There was no shame or remorse in her voice, though, and somehow it made me want to smile in amusement. I didn't, however, and her voice was shrieked by her manager once more before she stated, "I have to go. I'll call again in a few days to get updated. Until then, bye, Sasaki."
"Wait, Rima-senpai, I—" Anything else that I wanted to say would've been met with the dialing tone, and I sighed heavily, my eyebrows pulling together as I pulled the phone away from my ear. I scowled down at the communication device, almost as if I was blaming it for my problems, before placing it back where it belonged.
"Rima-chan called?" Kaien's surprised voice flowed into the room, and I whipped around to see both of the vampire hunters standing at the doorway, still dressed in their casual clothing.
I didn't even have a chance to try to lie, because Yuuki answered for me. "Yes. I don't know exactly what's going on, but it sounds really serious." She turned her gaze toward me. "Is Shiki-senpai in trouble?"
I wanted to scream at her and tell her that she was not supposed to go and say something like that in front of Kaien and Zero, because undoubtedly a big deal would be made out of the situation. It was the last thing I needed, but a part of me was relieved she had blurted it all out. Maybe having a discussion about what course of action to take would be better—I was absolutely torn as to what I should do.
"My adorable Shiki-kun is in trouble?!" Kaien looked flabbergasted, exaggerating a gasp. He ran into the room and sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me to him as if he was trying to comfort me. "Oh, Ri-chan! It's okay, I'm sure he's fine!"
Never the dramatic type, Zero gave Kaien's actions a dismissive look before letting his eyes rest on me. "What happened to the bloodsucker?"
Warmth tingled in my chest at the fact that the silver-haired hunter even cared enough to ask. Although Zero often spoke about hating all vampires, the fact that he even bothered to inquire about Shiki's state of health made me feel somewhat delighted. It was as if he was being more accepting of them—that he was starting to get used to seeing Shiki and I together.
The lie dying in my throat, I shook my head and muttered, "We don't know. That's the problem."
"Start from the beginning," Kaien suggested kindly, trying to sound both cheerful and solemn at the same time. I knew he was just trying to lighten up the mood, and I tried not to sound as horrible as I felt as I explained.
"Rima-senpai has lost contact with Shiki for a while now, and she says that it's unusual. She doesn't know why, and she's worried."
"She wants Riku to visit Shiki's home, I think," Yuuki revealed innocently. I resisted the urge to slam my head into the wall.
Zero let out a scoff, turning his head away and folding his arms across his chest. "The bloodsucker's fine."
"You don't know that!" Yuuki immediately protested, frowning at the tall amethyst-orbed hunter. Her lips pursed together as she said, "It is rare that Shiki-senpai and Rima-senpai lose touch for an extended period of time, isn't it? They're so close and they're always together... It's weird."
His light topaz eyes zeroing in on the piece of paper that I had placed in plain view of everyone in the room—I needed to work on my tactics—Kaien picked it up and raised his eyebrows. "These are directions to Shiki-kun's house, are they not?" His eyes slanted to meet mine in sparkling curiosity. "You've already decided to go?"
"No!" I immediately objected. "She told me to write it down just in case I—"
"So you're not going?" Yuuki interrupted, sounding horrified. Her doe-like ruby eyes were wide as she stared at me in bewilderment and shock.
Frustrated, I denied, "I never said that I'm not—"
"So you are," Kaien confirmed. His eyes danced with amusement that irritated me to no end, and I found myself shaking my head at the two of them roughly.
"I don't know," I half-growled, irritation leaking into my voice. I shot the two of them looks that ordered them to keep their mouths shut as I thought about it.
Luckily, Zero was there to offer some guidance. Unfortunately, his advice wasn't exactly advice. "Do you intend to go check up on the parasite?"
I whipped my glower over to him. "Did you not just hear a single word I said?"
His light violet eyes met my similar ones steadily, unwaveringly. He almost looked bored as he remarked, "If you honestly weren't sure what you'd do, you wouldn't have been staring at the sheet with the directions on it so desperately."
Stunned—had I really been doing that?—I opened my mouth to make some kind of snappy retort, only to shut it closed just as fast when I realized I didn't have a response. Grimacing at what he had said and what it implied, I forced myself to mumble, "It doesn't mean I'm going."
"Why not?" Yuuki asked, sounding incredulous and anxious. She sounded upset for me as she rambled, "Shiki-senpai could be in danger, Riku! There's no way that you're not worried about him. I mean, after all, you're in lo—"
Before she could continue that sentence, I intervened urgently. "He could be fine and is just running a little late."
Kaien let out a sound of musing, his eyes glinting in a way that made dread tickle my skin. I already knew what he was going to say before he even opened his mouth. "I don't see a reason why you can't go check. Better safe than sorry, right?"
"How about the fact that he lives one day away even if I take a bullet train?" The sarcasm dripped from my voice venomously. "Even if we ignore the fact that it's so far away—which is a hard thing to brush off so easily—the truth is that I'm not rolling in money."
"Money isn't a problem," Kaien chirped happily. "I'll gladly lend my precious daughter money to go visit her beloved to ensure his safety! I'll give you all the money you need as long as you—"
"No." I folded my arms across my chest tightly and scowled. "I'm not going to accept money from you, Kaien."
"But you have to go," Kaien practically sang. "There's no way that you'd sit here when Shiki-kun could be in trouble, yes? Oh, youth!"
Nodding her head in agreement, Yuuki grabbed one of my hands in hers and said, "You should go, Riku. I'm sure that it'd put everyone at ease. Rima-senpai must be counting on you to make sure Shiki-senpai is okay."
"Why does Riku have to do that vampire's dirty work?" Zero voiced aloud something that I had been thinking in the back of mind, though in a much less crude manner. When we all looked at him, he merely frowned. "She should do it herself rather than push it onto you."
"Zero!" Yuuki chastised in a slightly horrified voice. "I'm sure that Rima-senpai would do it if she could!"
The future Association Chairman remained silent, but the look on his face said everything that he thought.
"She's too far away." I found myself defending Rima, though I wasn't quite sure why. She did leave me with this entire bomb. I had to admit that I was somewhat angry at her for forcing something so distressing onto me, but another part of me was so glad that she would inform me of such a thing. Unfortunately, even though I tried to deny it, the part of me that was relieved won over my irritation.
"If there's nobody else who can go to check up on Shiki-kun, shouldn't you do it, Ri-chan?" Kaien beamed at me. "After all, you two are practically glued to each other at the hi—"
I shot him a glower and interrupted scathingly, "I don't know if I'm going."
Surprisingly, it was Zero who spoke. His voice suggested that he wasn't exactly approving of the situation, but he didn't seem to completely loathe it like I had suspected. "Why not?"
I opened my mouth, about to explain to him again in a snappy way about my money and time issues, but he seemed to know what I was going to say, as he added, "Don't use your money excuse."
My mouth closed, and I scowled at him deeply. For once, it seemed like the expressions on our faces had switched; I wore his signature grimace-like countenance and he wore apathy like a mask. I didn't know what to say, but that was simply because I didn't know why I didn't want to go.
Or that was really just what I wanted to tell myself. Of course I knew the reason why I didn't want to go and "visit" the vampire model.
I was scared.
It wasn't as if it was just one or two things that made me fear going, though. There were numerous things that made me want to stay at Cross Academy. For one thing, I wasn't sure what I would do if he wasn't okay. I was scared to find out the truth about his well-being, because I knew that if he was in a less than perfect condition, my emotions would spiral out of control and I would probably end up creating a crater in the surface of the earth. I didn't know if I could trust myself to go and check—I didn't exactly have an amazing reign over my emotions.
Especially when it came to Shiki.
Another thing was that I didn't know what to say or do if he was okay. The way I saw it, it was a lose-lose situation either way. He could be hurt and I'd destroy buildings, or he would be okay and I would be an awkward statue. He would question me, wonder why I was there—and, undoubtedly, probably wonder if I was a crazy stalker.
... I was kidding myself.
Shiki would never think I was one of his fan-girls. It was obvious that I really didn't care that he modelled—in fact, I honesty found it bothersome and I wondered on numerous occasions how insane he was in order to take it up as an occupation while being a student. And not to mention he was a vampire. But that second point was ignored. Even though I knew that he wouldn't think badly of me, I was a hundred and ten percent sure that he would ask me to stay. He'd offer hospitality and he'd be ridiculously generous and kind, and I didn't want that.
How could I trust myself to be alone with him—without the prying eyes of the Night or Day Classes and without Kaien or Zero or Yuuki—and expect myself to not fall more in love with him?
The mere thought of having even more emotions in my chest whenever I saw him, having my heart race even faster, having my thoughts consumed by him even more than they already were—it absolutely terrified me. I didn't want to fall for him more than I already did. I didn't want to have an even stronger urge to stay with him forever, or to have him hold me, or to have him say my name. I didn't want to continue to imagine about how things could be, or how things should be. All the emotions I felt couldn't be described, but I knew that having so much affection for him was dangerous. It made me feel fuzzy and warm, but it also made me feel so cold and numb. It brought about too many different thoughts and sentiments.
Being any more in love with him than I was now would surely destroy me.
"Ri-chan?" Kaien's curious voice broke me out of my reverie.
I looked up at him, blinking my eyes. I was still a bit dazed from my inner musings. "What?"
There was a gentleness in his light topaz eyes. Despite the light tone of his voice when he had called my name, his expression was quite different. His features were laced with solemnity as he looked at me, though the warmth in his eyes was undeniable and ever so present. When he reached out and grasped one of my hands with both of his much larger ones, I felt my throat closing up—I just knew that he was going to say something that would probably help me decide on what I was going to be doing for the rest of my winter break.
And I already knew what he wanted me to do.
"Shiki-kun is one of my valuable, adorable Night Class students." Kaien's voice was soft, dancing with fondness. "To know that he could be in danger greatly upsets me. I would go myself to see whether or not he needs assistance, but I can't leave the Academy unattended so suddenly. I know that you care quite a lot about Shiki-kun, Riku. And I know that it might scare you, but don't you want to know for sure whether or not he's okay?"
"I do, but—"
The legendary vampire hunter cut me off before I could say anything else, jumping off the couch and pulling me up with him. He clapped his hands gleefully, eyes sparkling. His mood had changed within a second. "No buts! Come, let us get you ready!" He began skipping away, his scarf flying out behind him. He began singing about how his daughter was growing up and going on solo trips, and about how it was both a lonely and happy Christmas all mixed into one. The three of us watched him as he disappeared around the corner, his footsteps heading toward the front door.
After a moment, Zero slanted his gaze to me. Sounding nonchalant, he asked, "Why are you just standing there?"
My eyebrows scrunched together. "You're not objecting to it?"
The silver-haired vampire remained silent for a moment, his eyes shielded slightly by his light strands of hair. Eventually, he said, "It's none of my business."
A small giggle escaped Yuuki's lips, and she slowly slid herself upright from the couch. Linking her arm through mine, her bright eyes matched her delighted aura as she grinned at us. "We have to help you pack! Who knows what kind of crazy things Ch—Daddy is placing into your suitcase right now!"
Lips pursing for another moment as I mulled over just exactly what was going to happen if I followed Kaien back to the Moon Dorms, it only took another second for me to let out a resigned sigh. I knew that I wasn't fooling anybody—no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that staying at Cross Academy was better, I knew that my heart had already decided on visiting him the moment Rima had told me he might be hurt. I could probably have been chained to a room at the Academy, but I would've somehow broken out to go find him. It was pathetic and inexplicable, but my entire system would be sinking restlessly until I knew he was all in one piece.
Realizing that they were still waiting for an answer from me, I blinked up at them for a second before shifting my eyes to the ground. Quietly, I mumbled, "Okay."
Something warm wrapped around my wrist, jolting me out of my reverie. Startled, I stared up in surprise at a pair of blank cerulean eyes that stared back. He was standing so close that I could practically feel the warmth of his body emitting from him, feel the tips of his breath as he exhaled. I felt my heart jump into my throat, rendering me speechless.
"Done zoning out, Sasaki?" he questioned, his head tilting just slightly in that habit of his.
My eyes darted around the room, remembering where we were and what had been occurring before I had started daydreaming. His mother was nowhere to be seen, nor was the vampire that had greeted me at the door. I cursed at myself for missing out on what had transpired between the two relatives, knowing that I should have paid more attention. But I knew that if I had observed them closely, I would've only been intruding on family matters that weren't part of my business.
As if reading my mind, Shiki notified me, "They went back to their respective duties."
Not knowing what else to say, I merely settled for an, "I see." My eyes landed on his chin, then fell toward his neck, where I noticed punctures that were already halfway healed. My lips immediately twisted into a grimace as I saw them, the wounds informing me of what had happened during the time that I had been in my own little world. Although I knew that it was normal for vampires to drink from one another even if they didn't have any special attachments or feelings, I still hated the fact that she drank from him despite all she had said to him.
Did she know what she did to him? Did she know just how she affected him? The answer was obvious, and I knew that it wasn't fully her fault, and yet I—
"Let's go." He began walking toward the front door that we had entered from just a few minutes ago, his grip on wrist firm so that he could pull me along. I stumbled slightly after him, staring at the back of his head in bewilderment.
"What? Where are we going?" I demanded, briefly taking note of the fact that my belongings were gone. I suspected that he had someone put them away in a room already, but that was horrible. I did not intend to stay at his household for the duration of winter break. Aside from the fact that it was his house, the entire place just gave me an eerie feeling in general.
"Out," Shiki answered flatly. He barely gave me time to close the front door—I didn't even know if it was locked—before he began pulling me down the front steps. Briefly looking over his shoulder at me, he commented blandly, "There are things we need to speak about, Sasaki."
"No shit," came my incredulous agreement. "But why—"
Abruptly, he stopped and half-turned his body around to pin his eyes on me. The storm that was in his eyes made my mouth shut immediately, my breath catching in my throat. I felt my heart thumping faster in my chest, my toes curling a bit in my shoes. His grip on my wrist tightened, and when he spoke, I felt my stomach clenching with butterflies.
"Is it wrong to want to go somewhere with you?"
And what could I possibly say? Quiet, somewhat flustered, and just a tad bit breathless, my response was almost an unintentional whisper.
"...No, it's not."
Our eyes remained locked for the longest time, neither one of us looking away first, the air between us crackling with electricity that I hoped that I wasn't imagining.
He let out a sound that could've passed for a second's worth of a chuckle before he turned around again, our footsteps starting once more in the silence.
And as we continued our walk, I couldn't help but notice he had tugged me up to walk next to him, our arms brushing every time we took a step.
I also couldn't stop the blood from rushing up to my cheeks when his hand somehow slipped to hold mine.
A/N:
And that concludes the twenty-sixth chapter of Shitsuren! I HOPE THAT THE LAST SCENE MAKES UP FOR MY LACK OF AN UPDATE LAST MONTH! OTL. -DIESDIESDIES-
I was grinning like an idiot when I got to the part when Shiki showed up again. And I was laughing like a moron when Riku was bickering with the butler. HOHOHO. That was so fun to right. It was a moment in which Riku's attitude was being shown. -grins brightly-
I had fun writing this chapter! But I swear that it's not gonna be as much fun as writing the next.
I MEAN, C'MON. THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO FULL OF SHIKI AND RIKU GOODNESS. LIKE, I DON'T EVEN- I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE CHAPTER YET, BUT I KNOW THAT IT'LL OOZE WITH SHIKIXRIKU INTERACTION. -DIES- Look forward to it, guys! (:
SPECIAL LOVE AND THANKS TO MY MAGNIFICENT REVIEWERS;
Alliana2312, RainyDaes, Sabrina-nee, levyredfoxichi, xPoisonedBlueRose13x, ZabuzasGirl, Hikari-Suzume, Princesa de la Luna, xXMizukiXx, Shekame, x3sYellowie, Tsukuda Sumiko, Rane Miura here, RedRose1029, KuroNightroad, XXTakaraXX, SilverNeira, Sh3lby, XxblackpapermoonxX, Astin, akagami hime chan, AliceMarieSwan, The Goddess Of Flash, EvilBoyzR2Cute, XxKnightWingxX, fantasyblast, Ficchii, and Aidou and Koga Lover
THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS! You guys have no idea how much it means to me. I really appreciate it! (: They make my dayyyy.
Also, thanks to everyone who favourited and reviewed!
RESPONSES!
To levyredfoxichi;
SHIKI'S FINALLY BACK! -fangirl squeal- EXCITEMENTTT! HAHA. Nooo, don't be scared! It doesn't exactly follow the manga. It sorta does, but sorta doesn't, I guess. I think it depends on how you look at it? I'd say that it doesn't, though. SO DON'T BE SCARED!
Thank youuuu! I hope that you liked this chapter just as much as the previous one! Thank you for always supporting me! (:
To xXMizukiXx;
Correct! I really can't imagine Rima calling for any other reason, anyways. LOL. She and Riku has had, like, no interaction at all in the story. -DIES- It's something that I should fix, definitely.
It's fine that you didn't review the previous chapter! I'm just happy to know that you read it. XD
Aww, thank youuu! Even so, I'm sorry that I make you guys wait like this. OTL. I don't think that I'm the only one who can write a Shiki romance properly, because there are so many talented people mixed into this community, but that's a very flattering compliment. ;D
THANK YOU! Can you believe it's been twenty-five chapters? Well, twenty-six chapters if you include this one. Man, I should be at chapter thirty-eight by now or something. T_T
ASDFGHJLK. THANK YOU! I'm happy to know I have readers and friends like you! (: I hope that you enjoyed this chapter now that Shiki is back, and I hope to hear from you again! Thank you so much for your continuously amazing support!
To Shekame;
You flatter me so much! I can't handle so many praises. My ego will inflate to the point where it knocks people out of my way wherever I go. OTL.
LMAO. Yeah, the ShikixRiku moments. -starry eyed- There's going to be lots of that in the next chapter for sure! I'm glad that you don't want me going with the original plot, by the way. I hated what happened. It was stupid. -SLAPPED-
THAT'S MY FAULT. LOL. I APOLOGIZE. I've been updating pretty slowly lately if you compare me to the other writers in the fandom. -SOBS- I can't wait until that chapter gets written, too. It'll be hilarious to write; I can just imagine the reactions. -grins-
OSNBONWOAWNB. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I have to say thanks to you a million times for everything you said. The compliments- urghhh, dying from so many emotionsss. HAHA. Shitsuren's getting so oldddd. I don't even know if that's a good thing or a bad thing at this point. xD
The chapter is finally out and Shiki returned! HOHOHO. I hope that you enjoyed it! Thank YOU for always reading and supporting me! It means a lotttt! (:
To x3sYellowie;
IS IT? Well, sort of. I guess. Maybe. ;O I find that her love story is just like most tragedies. -SLAPPED- Okay, this is me being heartless. T_T IGNORE ME.
That part will be explained later! HAHA. I'm happy you noticed itttt. (:
Thank you for your support, and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! SHIKI'S FINALLY BACKKK! -excited-
To Tsukuda Sumiko;
Welllll. Sort of. Kind of. I don't even know. LOL. YOU DON'T NEED TO STAY UP SO LATE JUST TO REVIEW FOR ME! T-T Your health is more important. ):
HAHA. I'm glad that you took a look at it and saw it! LOOOOL. Mm. I'm kind of glad that you don't have a favourite? I guess in a way it means that I've created likeable characters despite their differences. And because I have favourites when it comes to my OCs. -SLAPPED-
He finally showed up again! I HOPE THAT IT MAKES UP FOR MY LATE UPDATE! XD
Thank you for your amazing support all the time, Tsukuda! You have no idea how happy it makes me. (: I hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter!
To RedRose1029;
LOL, but the list keeps growing longer and longer! I feel bad for people who have to scroll down so many paragraphs to find their name! XD I'm glad that you enjoy the fact that I do responses, though! (:
HE'S FINALLY BACK. YES. I AM SO HAPPY. LOL.
Oh trust me, I hate her. Like, I HATEEEEEEE her. I loathe her with a passion. I could rage and rant about how much I hate her for days. AND DID YOU READ THE LATEST CHAPTER? HOLY FU- -FLIPS TABLES- I'M SO ANGRY WITH IT.
I'm glad you liked it! Oh god. Your dreams sound horrible. LOL. ARE YOU OKAY? ASDFGHJKL. Do you eat weird things before going to bed? -DIES-
Yeah... It's weird for Rima to call Riku for anything. It's just... not right. But it's been revealed in this chapter! YAYYY!
Aww, thank you! You're awesomesauce! (: I'm always happy to hear from you! Thank you so much for taking the time to review for me and to read my stuffffff. I hope that you loved this chapter! I MEAN, C'MON. SHIKI'S BACK. ;D
To KuroNightroad;
It's been a while, BUT THAT'S OKAY. OUR PMS MAKE UP FOR IT, NO WORRIES. You don't need to feel awkwardddd. XD You know that I don't really mind whether you review or not; knowing that you read my stuff is enough of a compliment. xD
You've mentioned it before~ XD I'm glad that you like her so much, though! I never really intended to make her super likeable or anything. LOL. But I'm happy that you do! If you hugged her, Amaterasu would probably just end up crying. ;_;
Oh definitely. There's no way Rima would call unless she had to. LOL. I can't imagine it. Plus Riku would probably just disconnect the call; she can't talk about sweets for too long before getting irritated.
THANK YOU! LOOOOOOOL. I wouldn't want to make you do that! D; I mean, you must be so busy. Although it would be totally awesome. HAHA.
As always, Kuro, it's an absolute pleasure to hear from youuuuu! I hope you're doing well. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to write me a review. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter since Shiki came back now! XDDD
To XXTakaraXX;
I can't answer your first question, nor the second! I'M SORRY. You'll just have to wait until later chapters to find out! (:
Thank you for your continuous support! I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter 'cause Shiki is finally back! YAAAAAAAAAY! ;D
To Astin;
LOOOL. Yeah, that's how you spell her name. THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT! XD AND I KNOW, RIGHT? RIKU NEEDS TO STOP DENYING ALL HER FEEEEELS. It irritates me a bit as well, AND I'M THE AUTHOR. T_T
THANK YOUUUU! Shitsuren's getting so old. LOL. A SEQUEL? ASDFGHJLK. I CAN'T THINK ABOUT THAT YET. -DIES-
Oh... Is that what a pimp post is? LOL. IF YOU FINISHED IT, WHY HAVEN'T YOU LINKED ME TO IT? -DIES- I WANT TO SEE!
I'm glad that your teeth are feeling better, by the way! HAHA. I remember I didn't want to do anything but curl into a ball in my bed and lie there forever. xD
Thank you for your encouraging supporttttt! YOU need to stay amazing. (; I hope that you liked the chapter!
To akagami hime chan;
LMAO. Well, I'll be forever grateful and happy that you managed to stumble upon my fanfic! (:
YOUR COMPLIMENTS- ASDFGHJKL. THANK YOU! I'm glad that you don't think Riku is a Mary-Sue! I hate those as well. I think it's why I take so much care in constructing my OCs. xD
HAHAHAHA. I love that "stalking" thing. (; But in all solemnity, I'm glad that you've decided to follow my story as well as myself! GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON BOARDDD! (:
I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! And thank you so, so much for reviewing for me! STALK AWAYYY! -DIES- (;
END OF RESPONSES!
I would answer more, but I feel like I wrote too many paragraphs this time. T_T BUT YOU KNOW. I READ EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. LIKE, A MILLION TIMES. And I know that I have to thank, like, five of you that I didn't include in my responses and say that I'm sorry for not writing you guys one and for telling you guys you're all awesome and that I suck and- -BREATHES-
Okay. I'll stop rambling. ):
Thank you guys so much for answering the question last time! You guys all had the same predictions and the same ideas, which made me smile 'cause y'all are so awesome. HAHA. This time, the question will be...
QUESTION: In the next chapter, what would you like Shiki and Riku to talk about the most? ( Please don't say you want them to confess their undying love to each other. LMAO. )
SHARE WITH ME YOUR THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AND PREDICTIONS AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF! You guys have no idea how much I'd love to hear from you guys! And who knows? Maybe what you want them to chat about will be included in the actual chapter! -GASPS- (;
Once again, I'm so sorry for the late update! I'll try my best to update again in November sometime, but... No promises. -SOBS- I'M SORRY. Thank you guys so much for sticking with me!
Drop me a review and let's be friends! (:
XOXO,
-EverlastingxSong-