Chapter Twenty-Six: The Not-So-Slow Burn

"The loudest man in the room is the weakest man in the room." –Frank Lucas from American Gangster

Before she had a chance to react, Bo sat down and took deep breaths. This was what needed to be done. There was surely a better way, but this was the quickest and possibly safest way. Bo hated that Lauren had to go undercover because they didn't know if Tamsin was going to be dangerous or not. If she was a spy, then somebody chose her for a reason. Did they think she would be Lauren's type? Well, obviously she was or Lauren wouldn't have even taken a chance to become friends with her. That was beside the point, though.

They had gone out twice, and Bo had to keep herself from punching a wall. Even if she didn't know the details, she still had the mental image in her head. She trusted Lauren, but they obviously couldn't trust Tamsin. Why else would they be doing this now? Why else would Bo agree to let her girlfriend date someone else?

She didn't mean to be upset. This was partially her idea, too. Lauren didn't seem like she wanted to do it, and Bo had to keep from overthinking her reasoning for not wanting to do it. It was obvious Lauren was attracted to Tamsin and vice versa. If Tamsin was faking that, then she was doing her job a little too well for Bo's taste.

Bo really needed to punch something. She wasn't surprised to find herself dragging Bryce with her to the compound that night, just so she could work out in the boxing room. Lauren had another date with Tamsin tonight. Bo did trust Lauren, but she did not feel guilty for sending Kenzi as her own spy. Lauren told Hale where they went because that was her way of updating Bo without direct contact. Hale told Kenzi, who actually volunteered to do the spying. If Lauren noticed or cared, she never said so.

When Kenzi reported back that first night that Lauren was successful, Bo was afraid to ask. She didn't want to know the details, but every part of her screamed inside because she wanted to know everything. She needed to know on a personal level; the jealous girlfriend inside of her wouldn't lie dormant. When Kenzi told her about the kiss, Bo was ready to go over to Lauren's house and demand they call it off. The thought of another woman touching Lauren bothered her, but actually knowing another woman kissed her made Bo seethe.

Kenzi was meeting her tonight after the date, to give Bo the news of how it went. So far, Lauren had done her job too well. Bo knew she would; Lauren could never half ass anything. If all of this was for nothing, though? Tamsin better turn out to be a spy or Bo was going to be super pissed.

After she put Bryce to bed, Bo reached into her hidden stash on the top shelf and grabbed her bottle of vodka Kenzi had left there from their last girl's night. That seemed so long ago now, and Bo was honestly surprised it was still there. Kenzi hadn't been coming and going into her house at all hours anymore, and she felt bad for just now realizing how different their lives had become. Bo was supposed to be planning a bachelorette party for her best friend, not planning a coup for her girlfriend to seduce another woman. She definitely needed something strong tonight to help her forget before she marched over to Lauren's place and beat the information out of Tamsin instead. It would have been just as effective as what Lauren was doing. Damn logic. Damn Lauren for resorting to violence as a last resort.

"Hey, girl! I've got good news and bad news." Kenzi sounded like she had been enjoying her spying. Bo chuckled as she looked at the glass in her hands. When had she moved to the couch? How did she not hear Kenzi come in? She was obviously stumbling from drinking too much, so that meant she was "And from the looks of you, I better start with the good."

"Hey, Kenz." Bo let out a ridiculously loud breath, not surprised she could smell the alcohol. She didn't feel it, though. Instead of numbing her like she was hoping, the alcohol was only making her calm down and rationalize everything. She really didn't want to.

"Okay, so the good news is that LoLo is in there good. The bad news is she had to initiate a kiss this time. Tamsin actually called her on it, and our girl is quick on her feet." Kenzi sat down and grabbed the open bottle from the coffee table and took another swig. "Oh, BoBo. She's your girl. I know this sucks."

"You have no idea how much this sucks." Bo leaned back into the couch, her body physically giving out for the moment. She gripped the glass in her hand, not caring that a little spilled on her when she huffed back.

"I'm the one having to watch it." Kenzi cringed a bit when she took another drink from the bottle. Bo grabbed the bottle and poured more into her glass, even though there was still some there. She'd given up on the cranberry juice long ago. "Anyone with any insight into your girl knows she's miserable. She's just great at hiding it."

"Kenzi, what am I going to do? I just want to go over there and rip out Tamsin's throat for touching what's mine." Bo pushed forward again, feeling the need to move but unable to.

"Woah, cowgirl. Slow down. No need to go all medieval on anyone." Kenzi placed her hands on Bo's knees. She didn't even know they were shaking up and down. "Lauren's great, and she loves you. She's doing this to protect you and everyone else in this family. Tamsin's definitely a spy, too. Why didn't you send me in sooner?"

"How so?"

"Dude, that place is swarming with unfamiliars." Kenzi leaned back, propping her boots up on Bo's coffee table. She'd scolded her about that so many times, yet her friend never did listen. She'd be frustrated if it weren't kind of endearing.

"Cops?" Bo narrowed her eyes, trying to pay attention to how everything went a bit blurry when she did. Cops at the Dal? It wasn't the first time. They had cops in there all of the time. They were just payroll cops. Hell, Bo had slept with a few of the payroll cops in her heyday, having picked them up at the bar.

"Would be my guess." Kenzi was closer to the ground than anyone. She was still a soldier. She still fought the good fight on the streets. Bo asked her several times if she ever wanted to be more, but Kenzi always said no.

"That doesn't make sense. Why would they stay in the open like that if she's undercover for them?"

"Kind of my thought, too. It's sloppy, and if TamTam is that deep undercover, they're blowing it for her on purpose. So, why is that?"

"Because she's not giving them what they want." Bo didn't have to overthink her answer. If they were blowing her cover, she wasn't doing her job right. That could mean several things, and she hoped it wasn't what she was thinking because that didn't help her desire to punch Tamsin.

"Well, if they want to know the intimate details of the good Doc's biology, then she's got that all sorts of scoped out." Kenzi tightened her lips when she finally glanced over to see Bo's unamused expression. "Right. She's yours. Throat tearing. Yada yada."

"They're trying to get information." She cleared her throat and laid her empty glass down on the counter, loving the slight burn in her chest from drinking too fast. Trick used to tell her good liquor shouldn't burn; it should be smooth and pleasing. Bo wasn't concerned with smooth at the moment, though. She actually craved the burn. "Lauren's not feeding them is she?"

"She explained to Tamsin the other day a little more about her job. Said she was extremely important and practically ran a lucrative business. She said a lot without saying anything. Our girl is sneaky that way." Kenzi sounded and looked impressed, which was odd considering how she originally took Lauren. Now, she seemed to be one of her bigger supporters. Dyson had even become close friends with Lauren, which was odd to see.

"Our girl?" Everyone respected Lauren. They knew she was going to do good for the family. Hell, she had already done so much good. Why shouldn't they all be impressed?

"Don't rip my throat out, too. You know what I mean." Kenzi smirked a bit at Bo. She didn't realize she was growling a little again.

"Should I be worried? I mean, about the cops thing. It still doesn't make sense that they would blow her cover like that." If Tamsin was an undercover cop, then she must've really pissed somebody off if they were doing that. Then again, the cops in there could be part of the McCorrigan or any other family's pay. Maybe they were sniffing out Tamsin, too.

"Unless she's not really a cop and we're just fishing." Kenzi was right. They very well could be fishing, but Bo felt like they were on the right track. Who was this woman, and could they figure it out fast so Lauren could stop fooling around with her? Bo felt her stomach drop again. There better be no sort of fooling around happening or Tamsin was definitely going to get a beat down, even if she came out clean.

"It makes sense, though. Our theory was that she worked for Evony, but why give away her own spy like that?" Bo stopped to think about everything they knew about Tamsin and the other families. If Evony gave up her own spy, then she was no use to her anymore. Either that, or she was trying to get the McCorrigan clan to make a move. Lauren's theory about a red herring was still on the table, too.

"Whoever she's working for, she's experienced. She knows what she's doing. She had me convinced she's into Lauren for real. I'm pretty sure Lauren is, too."

"I'm still waiting on your good news." Bo leaned back into the couch again as she let out a deep breath. At least they had someplace to start looking. The sooner they had answers, the better.

"It was that Lauren was…" Kenzi smiled at her, and Bo felt relaxed. She had spent the evening trying to put herself completely into Bryce and may have overcompensated a bit. She smothered him more than usual, and then once he was in bed, she felt bad that she had done it for the wrong reasons. "Right. You're kidding."

"You know, I still think about what life would be like if we were normal." Bo had given into her destiny, but that didn't mean she couldn't think about a normal life. Picket fence. Dog in the yard. Kids running amok. That she still thought about it only spoke volumes to her humanity, according to Lauren.

"Oh, Bo. We've talked about this." Kenzi gave her a forlorn expression, like she wasn't surprised but she was disappointed all the same. Kenzi loved this life; she had never hid that fact.

"I know, but that doesn't mean I stop thinking about it on occasion." Bo leaned forward, swirling the bottle in her hand and realizing how much liquor they had consumed. She was starting to feel tired now, which was a good sign as far as she was concerned. "If we had a normal life, Lauren and I would be living somewhere and raising Bryce together. Who knows? Maybe we never would've broken up and would've had our own children. We'd host dinner parties and get into normal fights about money or who needs to clean the toilets that week instead of all of this bullshit."

"Pipe dreams, sweetcheeks."

"Trick is retiring sooner than expected. I'm going to be don sooner than we planned." Bo took another swig, licking her lips and feeling how numb her body had started to become. At least one mission was accomplished. She didn't even feel guilty about being drunk with Bryce asleep in the other room. She knew it was sloppy, considering they could be attacked at any moment, but she had Kenzi there. Bo always felt safer and better with Kenzi there. She wanted to tuck her in her pocket and keep her for always. Hale and marriage and happily ever after be damned.

"Wait, what? Bo, why didn't you say anything? How long have you known this?" Kenzi sounded and looked surprised, but Bo didn't think she really was. Maybe it was more the shock that it was revealed. They all had to know this was coming. How big of a secret could this be?

"A few weeks now. I just, I'm not supposed to say anything. We don't know who we can trust." Bo had four people on her list. Lauren said she only had one; that she couldn't even trust Hale completely. Hearing that made Bo realize just how new Lauren was to the family. Trusting no one was a lonely life, and she hoped Bryce never had to deal with that aspect but knew that he would.

"You can trust me."

"With my life. You're my Kenzi. I never would've survived this long without you."

"Aww. Such a sweet talker."

"I'm serious."

"I know."

"Trick knows about me and Lauren, too. He practically told us we weren't allowed to be together and that she was dating Tamsin." Bo cleared her throat as she handed the bottle over to Kenzi. Her desire to drink suddenly went away, perhaps because the room was already starting to turn a little.

"Don. Wow."

"I know."

"Well, we knew it was coming, and it makes sense to do it now." Kenzi picked up the remote and finally moved to sit next to Bo as she settled into the couch, vodka bottle in hand. "Don Bo. That sounds like a bad 80s action film. Also, I randomly want to watch First Blood now. Is it on Netflix?" This was extremely familiar, but it was doing nothing to comfort her at the moment. Bo really wished that it could. She toyed with sneaking away during the movie, which ended up being Mighty Ducks again, and calling Lauren. Would she even answer? Could she answer?

Bo grabbed the bottle from Kenzi, even though she knew she was at her limit. She needed to relax and not do anything stupid. She kept telling herself that over and over until she passed out asleep on her best friend.

Lauren stared out at the crowd surrounding her. She recognized most of these people. That's what made this a lot harder. It really did feel like she was stepping out on Bo and dating Tamsin instead. After all of that work they had done to establish themselves as a couple, all it took was a week to completely ruin that. At least it felt like it was ruined. To Lauren, it felt ruined.

Tamsin had stepped out to grab them another round, since they attempted to do something different that night. She figured Tamsin would feel safer talking if they weren't around the business. What was supposed to be a lovely dinner date away from the family turned into a place full of various family members. The strange thing was that Tamsin had suggested it; Lauren had never been there. It was darkly lit and quaint, but it was still busy. It was fancier than she expected, since Tamsin had suggested it, and it almost looked like a place people would come for clandestine meetings. Lauren briefly wondered if Trick or Bo had come here before; she made a mental note to ask later.

Bo.

Lauren missed Bo. There was no other way to explain it. She was enjoying spending time with Tamsin, but it was false and made her feel worse than the criminal she was.

"Hey, Doc. I'd offer you a penny for your thoughts but something tells me they're worth more than that." Tamsin sat back down across from her and laid the glasses on the table. Lauren wanted to order nothing but cranberry juice, but she felt like she needed courage so she asked for a bit of lime and SoCo with it. Tamsin was more than eager to please.

"Are you a spy?" Lauren was surprised she said it, but she couldn't take it back now. She hadn't meant to ask so directly. Wasn't that the point of her going undercover? She really did suck at undercover work.

"Excuse me?" Tamsin just smirked, as though she thought Lauren was joking. That didn't help because she was too calm. Too calm meant something was up.

"A spy. Are you one? Have you been spying on me and my family?" Lauren cleared her throat, swiveling the tiny straw in her glass. She wanted to look Tamsin in the eyes, but she was afraid of the answer.

"I'm not sure what you mean." She did. It was the slight twitch in her left eye. Lauren had paid attention in her graduate psych rotation at Yale. She knew how to read when someone was lying, even with the subtlest hints.

"Pretty straightforward, and I'm sure you wouldn't answer me honestly if you really were, which I sense you are." Lauren couldn't backtrack, but she felt cornered. She had done it to herself. "The thing is that I feel like shit."

"Geez. Thanks." Tamsin scoffed and wouldn't look at her. She was honestly offended, which made Lauren feel worse. Had she made a mistake? If Tamsin had genuine feelings for her, it was extra shitty to use them like that. Sure, it was the game they played in this line of work, but Lauren couldn't work on that level personally.

"I adore spending time with you, Tamsin. I do. You're great, and I've never lied to you, but you know I'm not telling you the entire truth. I want to know why you're so concerned." She reached her hand across the table, but Tamsin pulled hers under the table.

"Friends do that, I hear. The concern thing." She was retreating; Lauren had lost her chance. All of this was going to be for nothing.

"But you're a bit different. You come into my life at the perfect time and give me exactly what I need. You're exactly my type. You're beautiful and confident and oddly funny." Lauren opened her palms on the table, hoping it would placate Tamsin. She made a conscious effort to be physically open to the other woman. If she was going to get answers, she may not get another chance now. "I like you a lot, more than I can say, but I know you're not telling me everything, too. I want that to be clear."

"You have a funny way of dumping a girl."

"I'm not dumping you." Lauren looked over at Tamsin. She really did think they were dating. Even though she wasn't denying the spy thing, Tamsin honestly thought they were dating regardless of whatever mission or higher power she had.

"Then, what exactly is this?" Tamsin seemed to have a hard time looking her in the eye. If Lauren didn't know better, she would swear the beautiful, tough woman across from her was about to cry.

"A chance for you to come clean now. I may be screwing up completely by asking you like this, but I want to know and I'm tired of pretending to date you." Lauren felt the hard swallow that followed her heavy breathing.

"You're pretending to date me?" She did look her in the eye then. Lauren had done a good job undercover after all, but that didn't mean she liked herself for doing it.

"I enjoy your company, but yes. I'm still in love with Bo." She should be proud of a job well done, but all she could feel was Tamsin's heart breaking a little in front of her.

"Figured as much."

"Please just tell me?"

"You're not supposed to even exist." Tamsin leaned forward, keeping eye contact now. Lauren could see the familiar signs that she wanted to cry but was fighting it. She had done it enough times herself to know.

"What?"

"You're not supposed to even exist." Tamsin leaned back. This time, her familiar confidence returned a bit as she let out a deep breath. She wasn't relaxed, but she wasn't bringing attention to their table, either. It just looked like a mild disagreement to everyone else. Of course, that's all anyone else needed to write notes in their files. How else would anyone get the impression Lauren and Tamsin were dating? "I'm not a spy. Not really, but you're right. I'm not telling you everything. I wish that I could, but there are some things I can't tell you."

"Are you working for Evony?"

"I'm not Dark. No. I don't belong to anyone."

"Then what are you? A cop? What's your endgame?" Lauren had tried to think of theories. Why would Evony give away a spy? Why would a cop be sent after her undercover? What could Tamsin have really told any of the other families? It was obvious she was in it for the long game; she was devoted to her lie. They all were. Lauren just couldn't take hers anymore.

"Honestly, I don't know what I am anymore." Tamsin crossed her arms as she stayed back in her chair. She looked around again and let out a deep breath.

"You can talk to me." Lauren wanted to be a friend right now; not someone who potentially ruined a friendship by trying to spybang the spy.

"I think I should go home, actually. I've overstayed my welcome. I'm sure Bo can't wait to hear from you." Tamsin stood from the table finally, grabbing her jacket from behind the chair.

"You're hurt." Lauren grabbed her hand, squeezing lightly. She was surprised when Tamsin squeezed back a little but not when she was pushed away.

"Damn right I'm hurt." She pulled on her jacket and released her long blonde locks from underneath. Why did she have to be so attractive?

"I'm sorry." Lauren wished it could've been real; that she wasn't hurting her friend. She really did hate her job sometimes and wish life could be a lot less complicated.

"I'm sorry, too. I'll call you tomorrow?" Tamsin cleared her throat and plastered a half smirk on her face. She had been found out and was running. Lauren probably ruined her chances at getting real answers now.

"I'd like that. More than you know." Lauren turned off friend mode for a second and felt herself shift back into reality. She had never done that with Tamsin, and it felt strange. What were they going to do now. "That doesn't mean I can just forget this, though. I have to know. More lives than mine depend on it."

"I won't forget, either." Tamsin leaned over and kissed Lauren, pulling her hard against her. The kiss pulled amazing feelings through her skin and blood. It was the most honest thing she had ever felt from Tamsin's lips. "Good night, Lauren."

Lauren watched her friend walk out of the restaurant, leaving her alone at the table. Again, she looked around and saw people trying to pretend they weren't paying attention. Even though she took a different approach than originally planned, Lauren felt good about getting closer to the truth. The problem was that she felt even worse now.