Deng Ai,
Well... Maxi Pad's ugly, soooo... throw that out... (Huh, he's covered in blood... so... he's an actual maxi pad.)
Sima Yi
Shi,
(When did interacting with Romans start with other foreigners attacking us? There are plenty of other lands to take besides China. There's Persia, the very cold place above us, Korea, that little island next to Korea *Japan*, the land on the other side of the Himalayas *India*, the warm land down South near Wu *Vietnam*, and some other extremely tiny islands *Indonesia* near it. )
Well, you can go tell those "Huns" to look somewhere else because there is nothing worth stealing here.
Sima Yi
Dear Lu Bu,
There's this man that thinks he's sooooo much better than you. He has a pet falcon and has yellow eyes.
Sima Yi
Chong Wei, (Wow, a peon with an actual name... I never knew that they had names.)
It's just one tree, don't bother me unless it's something with that falcon guy. Actually, can you tell me on how Lu Bu's doing with him?
Sima Yi
Chong Wei,
Well, I'm going to bring the good wine to watch that fight. The actually good wine, not the stuff Jia Xu makes in a hurry to get a quick buzz.
Sima Yi
Chong Wei,
You can have the stuff Guo Jia makes. It's not bad nor good. But it's mostly not bad.
Sima Yi
Dear Zhou Yu,
I want some popcorn, may I borrow Lu Xun?
Sima Yi
Zhou Yu,
Oh. Well, than you can do it since Lu Xun will scorch my popcorn into ash.
Sima Yi
*attached is the bag of popcorn kernels*
Zhou Yu,
*attached is a half-filled bag of popped kernels*
You ate some of it, did you?
Sima Yi
Dear Xu Chu,
I'll be taking a small sliver of butter, if you don't mind. (I don't like plain popcorn.)
Sima Yi
Dear Guo Huai,
I have popcorn. You and Deng Ai can sit and watch the foreign leader fighting Lu Bu.
Sima Yi
Guo Huai,
Oh, good idea. You can use your cannon to heat up extra kernels.
Sima Yi
Wei Scout,
What do you mean there's a giant winged dragon flying above in the sky? Are you on something? You know Cao Cao doesn't want drug addicts in his army.
Sima Yi
P.S: I just saw it. Dismiss the rest above.
Deng Ai,
Don't worry, that's... er... Yinglong coming down with... a "package." (I guess it doesn't want Zhao in its butt anymore...)
Sima Yi
Lu Bu,
Looks like Yinglong did it for you. You can make sure the Hun leader is dead if you feel like it.
Sima Yi
Zhao,
Things learned: Yinglong poops gold and you need to shut up on stupid riddles on foxes.
Your father
P.S: You're not washing off until the soldiers pluck the gold off you.
FrankenPi,
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Where are you taking my house?! (You're that strong to do that...? That serum worked alright.)
Sima Yi
Cao Pi,
Fine! I called you by your real name! Now put that down!
Sima Yi
Cao Pi,
Don't you dare put that in the East China Sea!
Sima Yi
Cao Pi,
You dick.
Sima Yi (I can just freeze the area around the house in order to prevent it sinking.)
Chunhua,
Cao Pi is pissed and he threw the house into the sea.
Sima Yi
Chunhua,
Well, he now has superhuman strength despite being skin and bones.
Sima Yi
Chunhua,
(WHOA! YOU SWORE! Even though it's only on paper, but still.) Watch your language, missy! I know it's just you and me, but damn! I didn't know such words could come out of your mouth/be written by your hands! Go put a gold coin in the swear goblet.
Sima Yi
Chunhua,
A lady shouldn't have those words in her vocabulary! I swear to get a point across, and that's it.
Sima Yi
Chunhua,
Fine, I fucked up with the fact our home is floating on an ice platform thanks to my (and Xun Yu's) botched surgery/reconstruction of Cao Pi. (That I caused...)
Sima Yi
Dear Cao Pi,
Get over here and put back my house where it was!
Sima Yi
Cao Pi,
I can't do that. It's either return to your scrawny self and lose the strength or me killing you again.
Sima Yi
Cao Pi,
I'm sorry, a dead body is easier to manipulate than a live and unconscious one. Unless you don't mind being operated on while conscious, these's no other choice.
Sima Yi
Cao Pi,
Trust me, it'll hurt. A few cuts and snips along with lighting striking you.
Sima Yi
Dear Xun Yu,
I have the patient here, so do all your magic on him and start the procedure.
Sima Yi
Xun Yu,
Wait, wait! I need him to take my house back!
Sima Yi
Xun Yu,
He's already knocked out? Fine...
Sima Yi
Dear Shi,
Call up your pet qilin to lift the house out of the water and back to where it was before.
Your father