Disclaimer: Nope.
A/N: The amount of faith you guys have in me is incredible. The number of reviews never fails to astound me - thank you. I'm getting around to editing the first few chapters - anyone want to give me a hand? (; They really are in grammatical shambles.
Enjoy!
I booted up my own laptop, which I'd run to get from my house, along with the little bubbles of happiness (read as: Malteasers) Ella keeps under her pillow which she thinks I don't know about.
It was eight am (bloody miracle for me, considering I didn't usually rise from the land of the technically but not really dead until gone midday. Insomniac, 'kay? It's different from insane maniac, before you start), and I was bored as hell. Maybe walking out on Fanglette wasn't the cleverest thing I'd ever done. But he was being so damn irritating. Still was really, without even being in the room - I couldn't get his stupid freaking persuasion idea out of my head.
What was he gonna do? Try and beat me up? As if. I'd just threaten Mary. Insult me? I'd grab a mirror (insult enough). Talk to me constantly to try and drive me insane? That'd be the second use of the Maxtionary coming in handy - smacking twits over the head. Invade Amaxica? I'd laugh. No one got past me and my Legolas - our love? Undefeated. Granted, not many people had tried or anything, apart from that elf thing who was his girlfriend before me. She will only be referred to as the other woman in my presence.
Bloody hell, boys. I'd only just broken up with Dylan, for crying out loud! Though, to be honest, we only ever hugged once. Never held hands. Never really went out, just the two of us. All along, it was just like being better friends than before - it was awkward, weird, and I was pretty sure he'd felt the same way about it as I did: ew.
My laptop finally burst into life, and I keyed in my password (AMAXICAFORTHEWORLD) before bringing up the internet browser, and checking my email.
TO: Max Martinez.
FROM: Valencia Martinez.
SUBJECT: RE: England.
Hello again, dear, just wanted to fill you in on the bring-a-friend situation. Apparently Ella wants to bring both Nudge and Sara, who've both okay-ed it with their parents, so as long as Fang and Iggy check with Jane, they're both free to come.
There's a link to a print-out sheet of your tickets - I've booked six, but it's fine if you just bring one friend in the end (I'm sure Ella has a endless supply. How she pays them all, I'll never know... kidding, of course!). I'm sure you'll be very pleased with them.
It's fine out here - rainy of course, but I've fallen in love with all the different types of tea! You'll love London. The business is doing well!
Have a good time at the party, Max, and give my love to Ella too!
Mum xxx
I rolled my eyes, and clicked the link to our tickets. After scanning them, I immediately loved my mother more - first class, prime seats. Perfect. I dragged up the email again, and tapped reply.
TO: Valencia Martinez.
FROM: Max Martinez.
SUBJECT: RE: England.
Hey, Mum. Yeah, yeah, I'll bring the idiots, unless they really annoy me before tomorrow. Hey, that's both of them out then.
First class? Wow. Someone pulled some strings, huh? Thanks, though. :)
Rainy? Mum, it's England. That's a given. Me, love London? Like I already don't? It's the capital of the Brits, Mum, London's pure awesome.
Looking forward to seeing you...
Max.
P.S. What does it mean if someone tries to persuade you to do something?
I pressed send before I could erase the last part like I wanted to. Mum would be able to give me at least a little insight, being super-smart and everything (a gene I definitely didn't inherit. It looked like it'd skipped a house, and landed in Angel. At the age of six. Brilliant).
Argh, it was only 8:30am, and still neither of the twits had stirred - lazy arseholes. Just couldn't drag themselves out of bed. Shocking, just shocking. In fact, they needed waking up, Max-style. Hell yeah.
Closing the lid on my laptop, I stalked into the kitchen, grabbed two pans, blu-tac, a jug full of ice-cold water, a piece of string and the whipped cream in the fridge we'd sprayed on the cookies last night (too, much, and sugar are words that don't even belong in the same sentence). I tucked them all under my arm, carrying the jug carefully, and ran upstairs, opening the door and tiptoeing into Fanglette's room somewhat silently. He was just lying, as normally as a sleeping person can, on his bed, fast asleep. Damn, and I'd been hoping for drool.
As quietly as I could, I placed everything on the floor before retrieving the string, whipped cream, jug of water, and blu-tac. I knelt down next to his bed, and attached the string from the bed-post to the wall using the blu-tac. Hmm. Where to spray the whipped cream? I took a few mahoosive (Maxtionary. Get it now. It's endorsed by celebrities i.e. me) steps forward, and lay an under-sheet from Fangtard's cupboard down, before spraying it corner-to-corner with thick whipped cream. Excellent. All set up down there... now, just for the quick part, that actually required a bit of skill... no jokes required there, thank you.
I retrieved the jug, and stood on the opposite side of the bed from where Batfang lay. Carefully, I placed the jug just close enough to his head that it would tip if he moved even a millimetre, but not until he did. Then I grabbed the pans, and legged it the hell out of that cave.
No need to congratulate me, guys. I know, I know. Genius ol' me. I'd say I try, but... I don't.
A moment later, I heard water splashing, and Batty grunted. I pressed myself against his door, squinting through the slit at the side. Sure enough, he was soaked, and swearing softly to himself. He heaved himself out of bed, taking a few steps forward before tripping on the string, and falling face-forward into the cream.
See, I'm no major songwriter or anything, but... that's what you get when you piss off Max Martinez. Someone needs to tweet Hayley Williams that.
I opened the door, doubled over laughing, just as he looked up. Our eyes met, his pathetically distressed, mine creased with laughter. Then he smiled.
The guy was covered in whipped-cream, soaked through, and he was smiling. Goddamn it, he was meant to have broken down in tears by that point! Ah well. Ig'd definitely made up for him on the dramatics front...
"What was that for?" Fangenstein asked eventually, once he'd gotten up, changed clothes and everything. I'd made him clean up after himself, too - after all, he was the one who tipped water all over himself, and fallen into whipped-cream. How was I meant to know how the hell it all got there? I'd offered him lessons in staying upright (as that seemed to be the main problem), but he didn't seem particularly keen (he threw a book at my head).
I shrugged, grinning. "Bored."
He rolled his eyes. "Figures."
"Want to help me wake up Iggy?"
"Max-style?"
"'Course."
"I'll get the camera."
10 minutes later, we were all set up in Ig's room; we'd propped up the Flip on the windowsill, where it had a perfect view of both Ig sprawled on his bed drooling, Ke$ha, Fanglette, and me. I was positioned behind his drum-set, pans in either hand. Fangenstein stood beside me, his electric guitar in his hands - it was plugged into his amp, and turned up to full volume. He'd done something cool with the switches too, so it sounded all grunge-y and awesome. Remind me to employ a spy to find out how he does that. Or just Google it, if they're lazy. Wonder if Katniss is free?
"Ready?" I whispered to Batty, who nodded. "3, 2, 1..."
I smashed the pans down on the cymbals as hard as I could a million and twenty-two times, whilst at the same time Fanglette strummed a random pattern on his guitar.
Iggy literally jumped a foot into the air - I'm not kidding, his whole body left the bed - and he burst into tears. Actual tears. Fangenstein slowly turned to look at me, and we both just cracked up laughing.
Looking at us through betrayed eyes, Ig sobbed, "Fang... how could you do this to Psycho?"
Fanglette raised his eyebrows. "...Psycho?"
"OUR CHILD!" Ig leapt off the bed, and ran out of the room, crying loudly.
...Ha.
...Haha.
...Hahaha.
..., God, I love Ig.
I ran to Cassie, grinned into the lens, and said, "And that, folks, is how to wake your best friend up when they're being a lazy igiot."
[ x x x ]
Nudge's party wasn't until five, so we had plenty of time to arse around all afternoon once Ig'd spent an hour locked in the bathroom trying to calm himself down, and 'save the baby'. Igiot.
At least, that's what we'd thought.
At 2pm, the doorbell rang - ominous enough, since Jane'd taken the kids out, and we all knew Ig and Fanglette had no friends besides their imaginary children.
Opening it, we found the devil.
"Go away, Ella."
She grinned, swinging her scarily large bag between her hands. "Nope. I'm your personal stylist for the day!"
"It's going to take more than a day, darling," Ig said from behind me, adopting a camp high-pitched voice. He was elbowed. In the face.
I was dragged upstairs before I could slam the door in her face, and pushed into the bathroom. Ella instructed me to change into the clothes she'd prepared for me, before leaving, and locking the door behind her.
Love you too, sis. She's just such a lovely, kind, caring person. Always thinking about other people, Ella Martinez.
Grumbling to myself and bracing myself for the worst, I opened the bag she'd left - yup, definitely some floaty material being annoyingly Ella-ish in there... Ah. She'd packed long black leggings, a light green, button-down dress that came to about mid-thigh, but no shoes. Oh God, not the bloody shoes again... she'd have a freaking aneurysm this time.
Sighing, and cursing my darling sister to the deepest pits of hell, I shoved the disgusting girl-like clothes things on me. Ugh. God forbid my army saw me looking like that. A few minutes later, Ella walked back in, carrying yet another bag. She looked me up and down approvingly.
"You'll do," she said passively, throwing the bag at me - abuse! "Chuck those on. I'll do your make-up and hair in a moment."
Curious (stupid Max! Never be curious! It leads to certain death. Or certain boredom, whichever came first), I unzipped it to find my camouflage army converse. I glanced over at El, suspicious, but she was busy laying out a million different shades of green eyeshadow. Ew, make-up.
Nevertheless, I pulled my Converse on, and subjected myself to her torture. I'd get her back later tonight. Once she was done plastic-fying me, she produced several green hair-slides, and proceeded to plait, twist, curl, and pin my hair in various positions. I felt like a freaking Voodoo doll by the time she was done...
Finally finished, after what seemed like hours of intenseness, she passed me a small box, and grinned.
"Put those in."
I sighed, but opened the box anyway. Inside were two little green flowers made of jewels - earrings. I pulled them out carefully, and pushed them through my ears, still sighing to myself.
"Lovely," Ella decided, surveying me. "What's with you, anyway? You're taking this way too easily."
I sniffed. "Don't know what you're talking about."
"Well," she said, rolling her eyes, "you've only pretended to slip and stomp on my foot twice. And you haven't punched me once, thank God! Who the hell are you, and what've you done with our Max?"
I just sighed.
Ella grimaced, and her eyes softened. "Hey. Is this about last night?"
"Nah," I replied, truthfully. "I'm just tired. Only got one hour's sleep."
Ella laughed, relaxing. "Okay. You go get some coffee so you can be your abnormally violent and highly annoying self, while I go change."
I nodded, standing and opening the door, before turning back. "What am I meant to be, anyway?" Well, it was fancy dress, and I didn't think Nudge would appreciate me going as the colour green.
Ella looked at me like I was stupid (yes, yes, insert cheap gag here). "Really, Max?" I narrowed my eyes to a glare, raising my eyebrows. "Someone's waking up!" She giggled, and I raised my fist. She held her hands up in surrender, still giggling. "Okay, okay! You're an elf."
Um... what?
"You know, because you're always talking about that Legolas guy," she smiled. "Now you can tell everyone you're his elf wife."
I grinned, and grabbed her in a quick hug. "I love you."
"Dear God, emotion!" Ella winked. "Don't exhaust yourself!"
I stuck my fingers up at her, still grinning as I shut the door behind me.
[ x x x ]
"Hey, Batty, chuck us a can of Coke, would you?" I walked into the kitchen as he was opening the fridge. He grunted, not bothering to look over at me. So eloquent. He really does have such a charming way with words. So... persuasive.
He turned, to throw it at me, but his hand stopped in mid-air, his eyes widening as he looked me up and down. Slowly, his hand dropped back to his side.
"What?" I said, typically oblivious. "Dude, I'm thirsty!" The butterflies that had just broken free had a pretty large freaking thirst, and I wasn't about to deny them it. When he didn't move, apart from to smile a little, I sighed heavily, stormed forward, and grabbed it out of his hand. "Bloody useless you are, you know."
"I know," he said, grabbing me by the wrist, and planting a quick kiss on my cheek. I shoved him away, glaring. Stop burning, cheek, you didn't enjoy that, and neither did I. Instead of stepping back, though, he moved towards me again, and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.
By that point, I was jelly. I just wanted him to kiss me again, like last night.
Oh dear God, I was practically turning into Bella freaking Swan, God help me. No. No Max, you do not like Fang. You are not a lesbian.
He was done, though, apparently, just running a hand through my hair, and smiling. "I like your hair."
And just like that, he was gone.
...So he was playing his persuasion card dirty, was he? Well, two could play at that game.
[ x x x ]
Fang, Ella and I all arrived at Nudge's at five on the dot - we'd asked Ig to walk with us, but he was absolutely adamant that no one would see his costume before he was ready to reveal. I'm betting a twenty that it consisted of sparkles, white skin, and a constipated face (i.e. Edward Cullen).
Fanglette was just dressed in jeans and a Bring Me The Horizon t-shirt: he'd flat-out refused the Lady GaGa costume Ella had brought for him. A shame, really, the lycra cat-suit really did bring out the brown in his eyes, and all that meat could've been extremely useful for the indoor barbecue Nudge had promised.
Ella, on the other hand, had gone all out. She had taken a shower earlier in the morning, and allowed her hair to dry naturally, so it fell in naturally gentle waves around her face. She was wearing a simple, short, white cloth dress, ripped strategically, and rubbed with dusty dirt so it looked worn and old; black leggings, ripped at the ends, and flat black boots. A captain's hat sat on her hand. Ladies and gentletwats, I introduce you to the devil, dressed as Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of The Caribbean (you know, that film with the fit pirate. Not Jack, but Will. You know, sometimes my Legolas gets jealous of him... probably because he's my man on the side. Being such an esteemed leader, I'm allowed these little benefits).
Sara opened the door, and grinned. "You guys look totally TRA!"
"TRA?" Ella asked, giving her a quick hug.
"Triple rainbow awesome!" Sara replied, way too perkily, as per usual.
Fangenstein and I exchanged a look of pure 'kill me now', as Sara tried to guess who each of us were.
Sara herself was obviously Alice, from Alice in Wonderland - she'd curled her light blonde hair into loose ringlets; wore contacts that made her eyes look extra-specially blue, and a light blue checked dress with plain sky-blue ballet pumps. Hmm. To be honest, I thought the Mad Hatter was more of a role for her, but I suppose she was just looking for the Wonderguy to her Alice (see what I did there? Hell yeah, I'm so TRA! ...Oh dear, Max, oh dear. Coolness points minus fifty).
"Come in, come in," she said, ushering us past her. "Dylan, Sam and their friends are all already here, you guys are the last."
Friends? We don't have friends, what's she on about?
"Nope," I corrected her. "Iggy wants to make a big entrance."
"Of course he does," she replied, rolling her eyes.
I laughed, following Ella into the lounge, where everyone except Nudge were sat around on sofas.
Sam and Amber sat together, Sam's arm around her shoulders, hers around his waist. Aw, cute. They were dressed as Iron Man and Peppers, from Iron Man (shocker). Honestly though, all that plastic must've been digging into poor Amber's back - now that's love, guys. Another form of love? Sitting through Twilight for your boyfriend (yes, boyfriend).
Dylan sat next to them, dressed in a big orange anorak that was pulled up to hide his face. Oh no, he did not go there: no one was cool enough to be Kenny from South Park. No one. I was so going to have words with him about this little incident - he was commanding my armies, with his mad Golden PSP skillage (M. A. X. T. I. O. N. A. R. Y!).
The girl from yesterday, Kat, was sat beside him, wearing the same reindeer jumper that Bridget Jones was... oh. I suppose she might have been there as Bridget Jones. But that was the clever conclusion to jump to - and I totally got it straight off, because I was just intelligent like that. Sometimes. What the hell was she even doing there, anyway? Sure, Nudge had asked us to bring friends, but that was because she knew we didn't have any!
Ooh, a new face - a girl with bright blue hair, streaked with baby pink and rich purple, sat cross-legged facing them, plaiting and untwisting her hair, bored. She wore a short black skirt, tattered black Converse hi-tops, and an All Time Low T-shirt. She also had a piece of frayed ebony ribbon tied around her index finger on her left hand - only an anime character would do that. Shame I didn't watch any of that nerdy stuff. I mean, I totally didn't cry my eyes out at Clannad, and Elfen Lied, or fall in love with Lovely Complex. Me, watch anime? Ha. 'Course not.
Everyone turned to look at us as we entered, and I grinned. "'Sup?"
"Hey, Max," Sam smiled. "Fang, El."
"Yo." So poetic, Fangspeare.
"Hi," Ella said, waving slightly. "You guys seen Nudge?"
"Nope," Sara replied, sitting down in the tiny gap between Kat and the sofa arm, spreading her legs over everyone else.
Sam shoved her legs off of him. "Dude!"
Sara grinned. "God, guys, move up! Honestly, you're all so selfish!"
Ella rolled her eyes, glancing round the room. "We need music." Everyone, minus the girl with blue hair, turned to look at me, and Sam raised his eyebrows.
"Nu-uh." I shook my head vigorously. "I'll put a CD on, that's it."
"But you listen to shit," Ella moaned, sinking down on the floor next to the other girl, who barely even acknowledged her.
I rolled my eyes, ruffling her hair. "Do I even have to remind you who stole my All Time Low CD?"
"And remind me who taped the declaration of war sheet on my door the night before?"
"Ah," I smiled, "that'd be my husband."
"I was never told of this marriage," Dylan said, obviously joking. At least, I hope.
"Sam didn't tell you?" I turned to him, outraged. "Samuel!"
"Dude, how come Sam got to go to your wedding?" Sara glared daggers at me, folding her arms.
Ella pulled her puppy-dog-eyes look on me. "I'm not awesome enough to be invited to your wedding? But Sam's a retard!"
Sam held up his hands in surrender to the abuse thrown at him. "Army perks, guys. Enrol today."
"Bit young, aren't you, Max?" Kat finally spoke up. Was that an insult? A joke? Hmph. Future prostitutes these days, honestly.
"Young for what?" Nudge entered the room, holding a spatula innocently. She was sporting a bright blue nose, and a furry costume. Some kind of bear? "Well, they all said she was too young to have an army of thousands, but she kinda blew that outta the window."
Okay. It was all spoken at 100 miles per hour, but, it was only two sentences, as opposed to the normal three million. Improvement, methinks?
Nudge sank down on Sara's knee, giggling as she wrapped her arms around her, and everyone else groaned at her. "So where's Ig?"
Right on cue, the doorbell rang.
"Don't let him in."
Ella rolled her eyes at me, rising to grab the door. "Wish we had another option." Uh, well, we did. We could just leave him out there to go die in a hole. YAY IGGY'S DEATH! ...No? No. Okay.
Moments later, she returned, looking scarred. Before she could open her mouth, though, there was a loud crash, and something came tumbling into the room.
And by something, I mean Iggy Griffiths. Wearing a skirt. And a brown-haired wig.
Who, promptly, looked up, saw Fangspeare, and squealed. "Oh my God, Edward! I think I have a hurty!" When Fangenstein just stood there, looking bored to everyone else, and purely terrified to me, Ig stretched out his arms. "Please! Save me! I love you more than life, you're just so amazing!"
Rolling my eyes, I signalled to Ella, who grinned. We both stepped towards him, pulled him up by one arm each, then slapped him in the face. Take that for teamwork.
Iggy took a few excruciatingly slow steps forward, before falling again. Right into Batty's arms. Unsurprisingly, Fang immediately dropped him straight on the floor.
He looked up at him, eyes full of fake tears. "Edward... I'm not good enough for you! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll kill myself!"
When Fangtard muttered, "Please do," that's when we all lost it.
Laughing like hell with your best friends? Freaking fun.
Even the blue-haired girl cracked a tiny smile.
Nudge, sighing, skipped over, and pulled him up. "Hey, Bella!"
"Hi..." Ig said, looking bored, and biting his lip. He walked - slowly - to stand in the corner of the room, where he just twirled his fake hair around his fingers, and stared at Fangenstein.
"Okay," said Nudge, moving so she was in the centre of the room. Radio Nudge, taking control. "Angel lent me her camera - you know, the really really really good one? But there's only, like, enough memory for six pictures, so we're gonna have to do them in pairs." I groaned loudly. Ew, pictures. "Shut up, Max! Anyways, you guys get paired up while I go grab the camera!"
She ran off. Ugh. Why? I mean, honestly.
Fangenstein wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "You're with me."
"Not literally," I replied, elbowing him so he'd move his arm. He just smiled his annoying little half-smile, staying close beside me.
Nudge returned, and ushered us all into a line. First off, she grabbed the obvious - Sam and Amber. Sam draped an arm around her shoulder, and she reached up to hold his hand. N'aw. Annoyingly sickening cute couple is annoyingly sickening.
Next: Dylan and Kat. They just stood side-by-side, both of them grinning, and Kat made a peace-sign. God. So prostitute-istic. Not that I'd know anything about the actions of future prost-actually, no, I do. Iggy. Let's face it: he's been pregnant twice already.
Then, Fangenstein and I. To begin with, I opted for the Kylan (what I'm calling the Dylan and Kat relationship they have going on there... sounds strangely like kill 'em...) option - just standing by each other - before I remembered about Fanglette's whole persuasion technique thing, and took another massive step away. Okay, maybe two - I'm not short, I just have little legs. Before he could retaliate, Nudge snapped the picture, and waved us away. Ha.
Ig stepped up of his own accord, dragging a protesting Ella along with him. She turned away from him, and folded her arms, scowling. Just as Nudge went to get the picture, Ig, brilliantly, tripped. By accident. So the picture was of Ella stood with her back to him, as he went flying. See, guys, that's what cameras are for. Catching the most embarrassing moments you can, and haunting everyone with them.
Nudge threw the camera at Fangenstein, and instructed him to take a picture of her and Sara, acting like tits as usual.
"What about Eleni?" Kat asked, after Nudge'd finished her perfectionist photo-shoot (she became obsessed with what was in the background. She moved a flowerpot because apparently it was green in a certain light as confirmed by the camera, and she didn't want green to clash with this, this, this and that. Not. Even. Joking).
I almost asked who Eleni was, but the girl on the floor looked up. "What about me?"
"Don't be stupid, Leni, you can't-" Kat started to say, rolling her eyes, but Nudge's Mum interrupted her with her entrance.
Holding a massive stick. (No that's what she said jokes, please. You'll corrupt my innocent mind.) ...This can't be good. I can just see the headlines now: FUTURE WORLD LEADER BRUTALLY MURDERED! (Oh, and some other kids too), or THE MURDER OF MAX! - obviously, for that one, there'd be a footnote - all witnesses passed away too. Selfish brats, could've used a quote or two.
"Nudge, dear, do you want to play limbo?" She smiled innocently. Okay. Might have got a little bit carried away there... but what would you think, if someone just wandered in with a big stick in the air? ...Okay, fine. That's what she said. See, you're damaging me already. "It's a little icy outside, but you should be fine."
Nudge grinned, and grabbed the large piece of thin wood (HA! Make a dirty joke with that! Actually... please don't try) from her hand. "Thanks Mummy! GUYS! Get your lazy butts up, so I can kick 'em!"
Did I mention that we all loved Nudge? No? Good.
Sighing, we all followed her out into the cold. A bit icy? Try absolutely freaking freezing!
At least we weren't in shorts and t-shirts though, like in PE. We had this horrible teacher, a woman named Mrs Ogden, who felt like it was her duty to torture us - rain? Wouldn't hurt us. Snow? Grow up. Blizzard that destroyed half the USA? No match for her man boobs. She had a whole collection of little stories she'd bellow out, whenever someone brave (or trying to cause a distraction) complained, that always started off with 'When I was your age...'.
In fact, I could even imagine her now: "When I was a man..."
Iggy, whimpering, latched onto Fanglette's arm. "E-edward... I'm cold... Warm me with your eyes! Ah, your amazingness! It blinds me!"
Nudge rolled her eyes, and handed him one end of the pole. "Hold this, retard! You seem like someone who holds planks a lot."
"Well..." Ig looked at her, throwing his hair in front of his face (yay!), "I was wondering..."
"Time to take cover then," Ella grinned. "Can't have this tit wondering about anything without a freaking explosion." Dude, my little sister is actually taking over my position as the amazingly wonderful sarcastic one... hmph. Wouldn't be long until she started - I don't know - eating five pizzas at a time, and kicking people hard enough to ensure that they wouldn't be reproducing any time soon: Max Martinez trademarks.
Ig bit his lip, ignoring her, even though we were all snickering. "Do we have to play limbo? See... I was thinking we could have a quiz!"
Kat looked at him sceptically. "On what?"
"How perfect Edward is!" Ig announced, happily. "Or Wuthering Heights!"
"Or how Bella Swan has the personality of a table cloth?" Sam deadpanned, taking the other end of the stick Ig was waving about (stop with the 'that's what she said' jokes! Honestly. Don't you think we get enough of them from Ig?). "I'll watch to see if you guys hit it."
Amber threw him a 'I love you' look. "Um... You guys want me to put some music on?"
"Go ahead! Anything's good! Especially Lady GaGa, or Ke$ha! I have JLS too, somewhere..." Nudge went off on one. "Anything'll that piss Max off, really!" Love you too, dear.
I rolled my eyes, grabbing Amber by the arm as she nodded dutifully and headed off into the house, whispering, "Grab Fang's iPod from my bag, and put on Bullet For My Valentine." I winked. Amber looked a little confused, but smiled, and gave me a thumbs-up. Way too sweet for our Sam.
"Shouldn't we wait for her?" Sam asked, as Nudge gestured for Sara to go first.
"Nah," Dylan replied. "She can join in when she gets back, right?"
"Right," Sara agreed, bending under the pole easily.
We all lined up behind her, shoving and messing around. I ended up behind Eleni, who didn't look particularly happy to be joining in.
From behind me, Kat said, "Hey, Leni, you're playing?"
She turned around, unsmiling, and replied, "I am."
I caught her eyes, before she turned away, and raised a hand in some sort of wave that wasn't really a wave, just a stupid Maxified grimace. "Hi."
"Hey," she said, quietly, looking me up and down.
"I'm Max," I introduced myself.
Holding up the pole, Ig grinned, and yelled over, "She's a overly-violent, annoying unclassified animal, with an obsession with music, and a weird love for Orlando Bloom, who, by the way, isn't half as sexy as she thinks he is. Rob Pattinson beats him hands down!"
"And he says he's not gay," I muttered under my breath. Glancing up at Eleni again, I caught her smiling.
"Eleni," she nodded at me. Kat's friend, I added on mentally.
"Leni!" Sam called. "Your go!" And Sam's... but... there's something really wrong about that. Sam doesn't have friends!
I didn't even notice Dylan walking to the back of the line behind me, until he tapped me on the shoulder, and smiled. "Hey. We're all good, right?"
"For sure," I replied hesitantly, unintentionally ripping off Christofer Drew. I apologise, my love (oh be quiet Legolas, you know you're my number one. Honestly, fictional characters these days!).
He grinned, and slapped me a high-five. "Awesome." Then he turned around, and re-joined the queue behind Kat, who immediately struck up a conversation with him.
I guess that could've gone worse. And I didn't feel so bad any more, thank God. Boys. It would've been so much easier if he'd have pulled a Fang, and just thrown a book at my head. At least then I could've beaten him up, then make it all up the next day. So much freaking easier.
"Max!" Sam yelled, looking bored. "Get thy ass under my stick."
"That's what she said," Ig cracked up. YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH? I shot him the bird, bending under the wood easily... at least, I thought it was easy.
I guess I just misjudged the length of my legs - see, I thought they were at least a little bit longer than that. It was a bit pathetic really. Note to self: when I rule the world, cut everyone's legs off, so I feel like a giant. Hell yeah. It happens to everyone, right? Can't just be me here, misjudging the length of my legs.
Basically, I leant back too far, tripped, and went flying into a certain emo twit, who'd headed back into the house to grab a drink a few minutes before. The aforementioned emo twit then stumbled, and fell back onto the ground, dragging me with him in the process. What a clumsy tit. I mean, honestly. He even managed to spill his drink all over me, soaking El's top, and, oh, I don't know, seeping through the shirt, right into my skin, with it's freaking iciness?
"What the hell?" Fang looked right up into my eyes, and I realised with a start that I was sprawled all over him. Even though I couldn't see them, I could just sense Ella and Nudge's smirks. Ugh.
"You're such a clumsy tit," I rolled my eyes at him, trying not to smile. There was something hilarious about the situation, but a quarter of me wanted to kill Ella and Nudge for smiling. A quarter of me wanted to roll off of him, and slap him, even though technically, it was all my fault (amendment: my legs' fault, for being... erm... less vertically long than that of the average human - ha, all those calling me short). The other half of me just wanted to laugh.
"I try," he replied, his lips twitching into that annoying little half-smile that always seems to muddle up my thoughts.
"My army will be having words," I replied, quietly. "I can't guarantee that you won't get sued."
Fang chuckled. "I can't guarantee that I won't send assassins for you in the middle of the night."
I shrugged. "Legolas'll protect me, being my husband and all that jazz."
Fanglette rolled his eyes, about to respond, but all of a sudden there was a massive crash from behind us, and a sickening crack, horribly audible even over the laughter from the guys.
"Amber!" Sam yelled, sprinting past us before we could even sit up. I jumped to my feet, Fanglette right behind me.
I heard Ig swear as we all looked down on the same scene: Amber, having stumbled over the threshold, had smashed into the concrete patio - there was a large red mark on her head, and her wrist was bent back at an odd angle, clearly broken, when you factor in the cracking noise.
Oh, freaking hell.
A/N: I apologise for any errors in the last thousand or so words, I'm writing this at 3am - the sacrifices I make for you guys, huh? (: Ah well, you're worth it. So tired right now.
So, I hope the long length of this chapter made up for the wait, and that you enjoyed it. There was a point - around 3500 words - where I just hated what I'd written, and nearly scrapped the whole thing, but Sara forced me to keep writing. So if you actually enjoyed this, thank Sara, not me.
Question: what's the best book you've read recently? [Do try to include the author, and what the book was about, I'd greatly appreciate it. Let me know if you want me to include my own in my reply!]
Much love, guys, you keep me sane at times.
Review?