Hello every one. I love you. I really do. Yes you. Right there =]
My friend (who is officially MADE of awesome) has agreed to try to fix my laptop (he's computer savvy. Promise) in exchange for a game of tennis. How great of a deal is that?!? I don't even have to pay!!!! Let's hope he can do it!!! In your head say "Go Slater, go! Go Slater, go!" You doing it? Okay, my computer should be fixed =]
[Danny's Point of View]
Red. It was the only thing my vision could make out as I stomped down the empty, cold streets in despair. Everything was red; the snow on the ground, the dirt on my shoes, the birds in the sky. They were all red.
To an innocent bystander I must've looked clinically insane. My fists were balled at my sides and shaking violently as I mumbled obscenities to myself while cursing my best friend to the fiery pits of hell where he belonged.
Along with Ella.
They could rot in red, angry, hot hell together for all I cared. I didn't need them. They'd just hooked me into their little game, thinking that I'd never find out. Did they think that I was that much of a fool? That I wouldn't know when someone was playing me?
Ella never meant a thing she said. No, she didn't hate me. She loved torturing me. She thrived from it. It was like her air or her water – watching me struggle was the only thing keeping her alive.
I stomped up the back stairs to my flat, glaring angrily at Dougie's front door as I passed by it's strangely unfamiliar frame. I'd never noticed how completely unwelcoming his apartment seemed...
My stairs shook with the force of each of my steps, threatening to topple over on their not-so-sturdy posts. I was completely beyond caring. I wanted out of the cold. Out of the red. I needed out.
I wrenched back my door, flinging off my jacket while furiously pacing my living room. I couldn't get comfortable. Everything felt so foreign and unidentifiable. I wanted so much to be near something recognizable and familiar. Even my own apartment seemed unnaturally fake.
It wasn't me.
I bellowed in frustration, overwhelmed with the events of the day. My mood had swung across many different emotional fields as Ella and I shared our newly developed "feelings" that I wasn't quite sure how I felt about anything anymore. All I knew what that I was angry.
There was so much red...
I was such a fucking idiot.
My body seemed to act of it's own accord as I stripped down to my boxers and flung myself in my bed, burrowing deep into the covers in a weak attempt to hide from the world. In my little blanket cocoon, I was the sole resident. No one expected anything of me, and I expected nothing of anyone else.
Because there was no one else.
God, how much did I wish that were true? That I was completely alone? It would save me from so much hatred and hurt... I yearned for such a place.
A place where all the girls like Ella didn't exist. All the lying, manipulative women who got whatever they wanted in the end. They wouldn't exist in my world. They would be completely banned.
I slammed my eyes shut, trying to block all thoughts of Ella from my mind. How could she do this to me? Lead me on and then step on me like I was nothing more then a little bug in her way. And for all these year I thought I was tricking myself into believing she was cruel, when she really was all along.
God, I hated her. I wanted her gone. Out of Harry's house and out of our lives. She should leave Dougie, erase his memory like the witch she is and go back to college where she'll never bother us again. I hated her.
Yet...
Why did my stomach feel so incredibly sick whenever I thought about Dougie's lips on hers as I entered the room? The way her eyes stared at me in completely horror as the screaming kettle boiled behind her. It all made me want to throw something and kiss something at the exact same time. It hurt so much... but, in a very strange way, I liked it. I hated that she'd gone behind my back; made a fool out of me. I hated that her eyes held some kind of unspoken bond that sucked me in like a whirlpool. I hated, hated, the way she called out my name, asking for me to stop and wait.
But I couldn't hate her.
I sighed, breathing heavily into my pillow as I tried to calm down my thoughts again. I desperately needed sleep. Desperately needed a little escape from the world in the form of a fictional dream...
Yet all I could see were her eyes. Those horrified, guilty eyes. Even from behind my closed lids I could still see them.
I wasn't sure how long I tortured myself under the covers, trying to force myself into subconsciousness. I faintly recognized the sun setting from outside my window and my room growing darker and darker as I lay silently. Somewhere in the background I heard my phone ringing repeatedly, but I couldn't be bothered into answering it.
Until it began driving me so insane I was ready to rip the caller into shreds. Jeez, didn't they know about privacy? If I don't answer, I'll call back! You don't continue calling again and again!
I slowly pulled myself out of my cocoon as the sound of my phone vibrating with a text message met my ears. I stumbled around my room, sifting through my clothes laden floor for the familiar jeans that I'd been wearing. The vibrations and ringing continued until I finally discovered the black jeans hiding slightly underneath my bed, the pants leg sticking out in an awkward angle. I ripped them away, shoving my hand into the pocket and withdrawing my phone.
23 missed calls
14 new texts
I frowned down at the unsettling glowing screen of my phone, my mind trying to piece together who wanted to get a hold of my so badly. I flipped it open, unable to answer my own question.
And then my heart stopped beating.
Everything was from Ella. Every call, every text, every voice mail... everything.
I couldn't understand it. Why would she want to contact me so badly? I was done. Gone. What else could she possibly want to take from me?
As I stared in extreme confusion down at my phone, it began vibrating between my hands. Ella was calling.
I ignored it.
It nearly killed me to hit the little red button, but I knew it would kill me even more to answer. If there was one small piece of my heart still beating, I would have to be extra careful and protect it. Ella had already treaded on every other inch of my body, but she wouldn't get the last piece. Not over my dead body.
With new determination, I jumped back into bed and slammed my eyes shut. Even my subconscious mind was a bit smug as I fell asleep, completely content with knowing that I was able to carry on. She wouldn't affect me any more.
That was until I started to dream.
It wasn't like any other dream I'd had. It was almost as though I was awake. I could only see still, motionless pictures in dark clouds of red and blues. Ella's face appeared time and time again, never smiling but staring at me with wide, horrified eyes.
Would I ever find any peace?
I awoke some time later, nearly pulling myself out of my own dream. I couldn't be awake without having to deal with her, and I couldn't sleep without her haunting me either. What on earth was going on?
I glanced out the window, noticing the sun was just about to rise. Small rays of sun light were peaking over the evergreen trees surrounding my apartment, streaming in through the window pane. I was so absorbed in the beauty that I nearly missed the sound of my phone ringing. Again.
36 missed calls
21 new text
Again, all from Ella.
It surprised me slightly when I saw that it was her older brother who was calling me this time instead.
Had he noticed something?
"Hello?" I answered, my voice horse. How much had I yelled last night?
"Danny? Man, you sound ill. You okay?"
"What? Oh... uh, yeah, mate. I don't feel too well," I replied, tumbling over my words slightly.
"What's wrong? I wanted to know if you wanted to come to my place later. I'm just getting in with Izzy now."
"Nah, I don't think I'll be able to. It's nothing, really. I just need some rest." Hopefully.
"All right, then. I hope you feel better, Dan. Let me know if you need anything,"
"Will do," I replied before hanging up. I cleared my throat, an uncomfortable feeling settling along my esophagus after I'd spoken.
It was such a strange feeling... like my throat was closing yet I knew I could breath fine. It almost hurt, like an invisible force was trying to choke me. I massaged my glands, hoping to move the feeling along but it just grew stronger as I thought about Harry and Ella and Dougie and all my other problems. It hurt so much... maybe I really was getting sick.
My phone vibrated again in my hands as I stood stupidly massaging the sides of my throat. Without thinking, I flipped it open to read the new text message. Anything to distract me from the burning.
Danny, please, please, please, call me back. I just want to talk. Just... please? -Ella
And suddenly, I realized the weird feeling in my throat.
How odd.
I hadn't felt it like that in years. Even when I was a little boy...
I was crying.
And I couldn't even begin to explain why.
************
Fletcher x – Ah, that is the sad truth to being very good at guessing things. Sometimes you don't want to be right! Sorry, my friend! Ha, and I love how you still blame Harry. That sounds like something Ella needs to say! I didn't have her say it… but you can imagine it =] And that's fine that you weren't able to review!! Where did you go? Anywhere fun?? I feel like I should know this because of twitter… Hm…
Hollis2020 –Gah! We need to stop talking about needles! I'm actually starting to freak out a little bit!!! Haha! And I totally agree about the FOB love/hate relationship (haha! Pun!!!) I never really watched American Idol (I only like the beginning. You know, when they have all the bad people!) so I don't really know the whole Adam thing. A lot of my friends like him though lol. I've never heard him sing! And do you still have anger towards Danny? Now that you kind of know his side? Hm???
Zabster95 – Ha, Dougie and Ella had to have their little… "moment" and I figured a kiss would be the best idea! It is the best thing to use in a love triangle. And Danny's being a bit of a drama queen – not answering his phone. Haha, it'll get better. I promise!
Ducky – Ha, us England Elopers will have to force Danny and Ella together because apparently people don't like the new friction lmao. Wooops!!! It'll be sorted, I promise =] And how on earth do you hurt yourself playing guitar hero??? That's pretty hard core, my friend. You're a Rock Star =] And I'm not a huge Twilight fan… but I think the kid who plays Jacob is freaking HOT so I'm definitely going to see the movie lmao. I'm actually not a huge Edward fan… like at all. Robert Patterson will always be Cedric Diggory to me =]
Alexis Gage – We can live our busy school lives together! Gahhhh the end of a school year! Major cramming and running around from overdue procrastination! It's ridiculous. Blerg. This story is like my escape – I'm glad you're enjoying it too =] Ha, and I've got no idea where all my readers come from! They just start reviewing and I'm shocked! All I can do is sit back and keep posting and say thank you a bazillion times even though I feel like I owe you all even more! It's crazy!!!
McFlYiNgHiGh – I vote we do one of those #insertrandomthinghere for twitter and do #160characterlimit or something obvious like that. Maybe they'll understand our need for more letters and words and smiley faces =] Ha, and I always thought that I'd get bored of the city if I lived in NY. It's awesome to see that's not always the case! My town is boring no matter what so going to NYC is always awesome. I go every Christmas =] And now you know why Danny didn't answer Ella. Hope you're not quite as mad at him as earlier?? Maybe? Hm??
Gnarly- - But that's okay, because you're back! Now you get to be up to date! Wohoo! And don't worry, everyone else feels just about the same with their Dougie Feelings. We all love him but SHOOVVEEEE over Poynter! Dannella has work to do! (Lovely term suggested by another reviewer. Isn't it AMAZING!?!?)
ArtemisPhantom – I like that you're hinting towards a lets-love-not-war ending. Many people are pushing for serious butt-kicking action. Everyone need a hug? Yeah. And please don't cry! This was sad too (I made DANNY JONES cry!!!! WTF?) but happy thoughts… happy thoughts!!! And we're happy again =]
Random n' proud – Sorry this took so long to update! And blah, this must've not helped at all huh? SORRY! AGAIN! But just wait… it'll get happier! (I'm not giving it away, am I? I'm so HORRIBLE at that!!!!) What chapter was this? 25? I think there's only 3 left! How odd!!!! I might cry when this is over. Really! I'm a sap!!
Younggryffindor – A huge character group-hug would be lovely, wouldn't it? But no… I have to make them all CRY. I must be evil lmao. Ha, and a LOT of people are considering kicking Danny's butt until he answers the phone! Violence isn't the answer, people! Did Rihana and Chris Brown teach us nothing!?!? Lmaooo AND oh my gosh, you've made me super-smile. That's like… bigger then a normal smile. You mentioned spock, kirk, AND Harry Potter in the same sentence. Major ownage =]
Alysmiley – Oh I don't really listen to Taylor Swift, but I can empathize with you. I think I need to forbid you to listen to ANY music while reading this fic. It brings on more emotions than necessary! Or maybe that's a good thing? Hm… lol. Um… and you TOTALLY gave Danny and Ella a nick-name. That's when a story becomes serious. When they're given nick-names. Dannella? How could I not think of that!?!?!
That girl16 – Keep reading! (Keep, keep reading… haha) I can't tell you what's going to happen!!!!! But… no, just keep reading! Lmao.
TigerLily1221 – You're McCrazayy! =] Ha, and you're planning violence within the McForce. This is a big McNo-No. (How obnoxious can I be? I think I'll stop this now.) Hm? And make-up kisses? I do not understand these words. What on earth do you mean, dear? Hehe =]
CrushedCoppelia – You can continue to believe that Harry knows. Just… okay fine lmao. If it makes you feel happier =] And we must understand – Ella isn't as kick-butt as you are. She can yell at Danny all day long, but now she's all messed up and freaking out. She can't kick butt =[ Oh and I wanna see a picture of your hair when you dye it! I bet it'll look awesome! AND OMG. ZOMBIE ANTS ARE FREAKING… WEIRDLY AWESOME? I don't know if I'm supposed to say that? Maybe? Well I find them kinda interesting! Where on earth did you LEARN that?!? Ha, and I love whenever you talk about Dave Williams – "Oh, Dave…" ALWAYS. =] And you're seeing McFly Friday. I'm not sure if you're aware of this? =] (hahahaaaa!!!!) so, techinically I'll be living through you that night, sweetie. Yes, I'll be right next to you in spirit… screaming along… Ah I am SO jealous!!!! GAHKFSLA;JFKSLA!!!!!!! Factory is still up for grabs!!!!
xMcflyxLoverxKatie – Gah, sorry this has taken so long! The next one might be even longer… but who knows. I gave my lap top to my friend who is REALLY good with computers and he says he may have it running by tomorrow… I hope so. Seriously! I'm like… lost without my computer! Anyway, thank you for your review!!!! =]
Holly360 – Thank you, lovely! Sorry this took so long (or this was long for me, anyway.) You know those weeks were everything that CAN go wrong, does? Say hello to my wonderful week! ANYWAY – you know I'm trying my best to get Danny, Ella, AND Dougie out of this happy and safe. Let's see if I can actually do it right lmao.
Banana Rok – Thank you! This story will be updating kind of slow (but still regularly… my slow is a bit different from others! Lol) but it WILL be going up. I've already got it all finished. It just takes FOREVER to upload them onto FF. blahhhh. But anyway, I feel bad for Ella… probably more then I feel bad for Dougie lmao. I'm a meaaaaannnn author =]