Leliana

I dressed in the soft white robes that the Chantry sisters had laid out for me. The soft cotton wrapped me in comfort and I bit my lip, restraining tears.

No material comfort could provide what you gave to me, Salem, I spoke to her in my thoughts as though she were standing before me, in person. I have never trusted in myself. Always I followed Cecile's instruction, and after her, Marjolaine's. Even in the Lothering Chantry I devoted myself to the Revered Mother and did nothing under my own willpower. Not until you came into my life did I begin to trust the instincts that had been honed to a razor's edge. Can you hear me, my love, wherever you are? I pray it is somewhere warm and safe, and that you find yourself surrounded by those who love you. I made a promise, and I shall make good on it. I will return to you.

Kathyra came to my side, dressed in the black and gold livery of the Seekers, wearing no armor and carrying no weapon. The look on her face was one of profound peace, even though her eyes were still red and swollen.

The two sisters who had led us to the bath flanked me on either side as we exited. Kathyra smiled at me, almost full of regret.

"With your permission, I'll join you later." she clasped her hands in front of her, as though uncertain of what to do with them. "I'm quite certain Cassandra is waiting to upbraid me."

"You are more than welcome." I met her green eyes, Marjolaine's eyes, finding that they held no terror for me.

"Thank you, Lady Cousland." her eyes conveyed more than her words ever could.

"Kathyra," I called as she turned away. The physician looked at me again, inexplicably hopeful. "Be careful." I extended to her the same warning she had given me, warning her against Cassandra, and against her own heart.

She has been broken so many times, my heart reached out to her again, a healer with no one to mend her own wounds. I am very well acquainted with that sort, a soft smile reached my lips as I thought of Salem. And I know that I fell for the warden with the first words that fell from her lips. I can afford a friendship with the sister of Marjolaine, but nothing more. My heart is not my own to give…it has not been since that day in Lothering.

"This way, Lady Cousland." one of the sisters guided me further down the glimmering hallways.

The dusky red of sunset filtered in through the archways, turning the shadows to purple and the marble to a fiery orange. The beauty of it struck my eyes and I felt saddened as I realized this beauty no longer sang to me as it once had. It no longer resonated with my heart and filled me with joy and longings. I had witnessed a far more terrible grandeur…the power that a human heart could hold, its sorrows and depths and wisdoms…the glories of the world paled in comparison.

"Your quarters, milady." a set of double doors opened before me, revealing a comfortable room, complete with a fire roaring in the corner. "Food has been prepared and is waiting for you. Of course, you are not permitted to leave, and a guard will be sent here shortly to make certain of your cooperation."

"My cooperation has never been suspect." I pursed my lips as they confirmed my status, however elevated it might be, as a prisoner. "But I am under orders, and will follow them accordingly."

"Yes, milady." they bowed with respect and I entered the room, letting them close the door behind me. I winced as I heard the bar being set, preventing an escape from that quarter at least.

I examined the rest of the room, noting that all surfaces had been secured to the walls, that bars graced the singular window. Despite its comfort and its warmth, it was a holding cell and I had been caged within it. Once more, the nightingale found herself imprisoned.

And yet I find myself inexplicably at peace. I am calm and unafraid, though still cautious. I have entered a den of wolves who are arrayed in the garb of the righteous. The Divine is the most powerful woman in all of Thedas; her line set in power by Andraste herself. It would take another prophet to unseat her, another Exalted March, a war to rival all others.

I sighed and sat down at the table, mouth watering at the scent of freshly baked bread. I bit deeply into the meal they had prepared for me, savoring the taste of fine, Orelsian flour, interwoven with butter, honey, and garlic. I moved a plate off of the tray; my heart skipped a beat as I saw a parchment, my name written on it in a familiar, precise script.

I lifted it and ripped open the seal, not bothering to examine it for proof of my suspicions. Tears pricked my eyes and fell as I read.

My dearest Leliana,

I am leaving this letter in Fergus' care, so that he might see to its delivery. I have no way of knowing when it will reach you, or even if it shall. Maker's breath…you left not five candlemarks ago and already I am addressing a letter to the Holy Palace in Val Royeaux. Please forgive me if it seemed I bade you farewell too easily. I could not bring myself to speak then, to say the words that are fissuring through my heart and driving me near to distraction.

I have just been informed that Amaranthine has been attacked by darkspawn. I need not say anything further on that matter. You know me too well. You always have. I will go, and I will fight, and I will bring peace to my people again. I wish you were at my side. I am afraid, dear heart. I am afraid that this will change me in irreparable ways. I do not wish to burden you with these thoughts at what must be a dark time for the both of us, but I owe you the truth.

I love you, Leliana. I wish with all that is within me that we had fled; even though you said you would not have that life for us. Already I miss your voice against my ear, your arms around me in slumber. You shall never be far from my thoughts, and always in my dreams. I pray fervently for the day that will see us reunited. Please, keep care for yourself, and do not worry for me. I shall come through this as I have through every trial past, I give you my word.

All my heart,

Salem

I set the letter aside and buried my head in my hands, torn between prayers and curses. Ferelden had called for her again, the land that had been placed under her care had been assaulted, and I was not there. I was not beside her, lending her the strength of my bow and the safety of my trust.

I am not where I should be. Maker, forgive me. And please, please, please, keep her safe. Keep. Her. Safe.