Chapter Twenty Six
A Life Lived Without Forgiveness Is A Prison
Her cry turned into a shriek of delight as she threw her arms around him. "Elijah! God, am I ever glad to see you. You would not believe the crap day I've had. How did you get free? Did Marcel let you go? Oh please tell me Marcel let you go. I need one damn piece of good news today. Does Klaus know you're free? Oh…shit…does he know I've escaped the house?"
He smiled and cupped her cheek. "Let's just get you home."
It was going back to the house that brought back the memory of everything Langon had told her. If he'd been telling the truth Elijah, Rebekah, they had both known of Klaus killing her parents, had perhaps even been part of it. She had forgotten that in her relief over seeing him again.
"Wait. Elijah, there's something you need to know about the guy that kidnapped me, about the baby and what Klaus is really planning." As she explained everything that Langon had told her about Klaus wanting to make a hybrid army, Elijah informed her that Klaus was aware that Langon had grabbed her and was going after him as they spoke.
Had Klaus been the wolf she saw? She'd never seen him in wolf form. The weak part of her hoped it had been him but she said nothing of it to Elijah.
As they headed back to the cabin where Langon had held her, they both stopped when they saw Klaus on the porch next to the now dead Dwayne.
"Ah, if it isn't the wayward mother of my child. Honestly, love, the way you keep slipping through my fingers I'm about to get a complex. I didn't find you, but I did find this." He kicked over Dwayne's body.
"Talk about my baby again and I swear there is not a corner of-" Hayley threatened, making to attack him but Elijah halted her with a hand on the arm.
A flash of something moved through Klaus's eyes before he grinned. "Ah isn't this nice, you two have been reunited. I do hope the reunion was everything you hoped for, brother. She is exquisite, isn't she? You know, she especially likes it if you pin her down just as she's about to-"
"You disgusting pig," Hayley snapped, her face flaming, willing his words not to stab her heart like they were. "Langon told me what you were planning. Dwayne, there, he was a test. He volunteered to be injected with my baby's blood to see if it would turn him into a hybrid and surprise, surprise. It worked. But of course you already knew it would, didn't you?" The rage burned through her so of course it was her imagination that a beat of surprise crossed his face before he snorted.
"And of course you believed him, this stranger you've known for five minutes."
"Right, turns out not so much of a stranger. He told me who he was. How his parents took me in after you killed mine and then killed his parents as well. How I was supposed to be bonded to him and not you."
"He what?" Elijah asked, next to her but Hayley ignored him, needing to purge her anger because it felt so good to have a focus for it after all her terrified hours.
"My God, how could you? How could you look me in the eye and…" Hayley shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "I was just a child and you used me, forcing me to bond with you just to keep the villagers from killing you so you all could make your escape."
"That's not what-" Elijah protested but Klaus screamed at him and pointed in warning.
"NO! Brother, you will be SILENT!" Klaus shook his head. "Of course. I must have been hatching some evil plot to use our child, yeah? I mean why else would I give a damn about my own child, isn't that right?"
"You do remember what the first thing you said to me was when you found out I was pregnant, right?" Hayley shot back.
Klaus laughed humourlessly. "No doubt you wish it had been the noble Elijah who fathered your child, don't you? I mean, next to him how can I help but be found wanting, how can I be anything but what I am. A liar. A manipulator. A bastard." The last he directed at Elijah. He stepped off the porch and came closer. "That's all I am to you, isn't it? And Rebekah, and no doubt you'll make it so my own child will see me the same way as well."
Why was he acting as if he was the injured party, Hayley wanted to scream. She was the one who had been used, held hostage, had her child made into some sick science exper…
Oh God.
She had been wrong. That look on his face had been surprise at the mention of using the baby's blood. "Klaus-" she opened her mouth to apologize but he gripped her arms.
"No. We've said all we need to say…Little Wolf." This time the endearment had a note of bitterness to it. He shoved her away from him as if she disgusted him and stormed off.
Rebekah greeted them with relief. "Thank God!" She hugged Hayley so tight it was almost painful. It didn't make any sense. If these people were just using her…but they weren't, were they?
Klaus was right. She had so easily believed Langon over them, letting her fear cloud her judgement. If he'd lied about that, what else had he lied about?
She watched Rebekah hold her brother, watched the obvious affection between them.
"Where's Klaus?" Hayley asked.
Rebekah's smile dimmed. "He's upstairs in his studio. I'd leave him to himself for a bit. He's a bit like a volcano waiting to erupt."
"Yeah, that's kind of my fault. I want you to lift the compulsion. I know you can't do anything about the years afterwards and maybe those are lost to me forever but…I'm ready."
Rebekah looked instinctively down at her belly. "I thought you wanted to wait until after the baby was born."
"I did but after today…I said something pretty lousy to Klaus because I let that asshole Langon use my lack of memory against me."
"What happened to him?" Rebekah asked.
"Thanks to you, Niklaus daggered him and he is now spending eternity in the swamp," Elijah explained kissing her cheek.
"Elijah told me how you gave up the daggers to Klaus so he and Elijah could find me. I can't believe you would do that," Hayley said, feeling dumber by the second. How could she have ever believe that asshole Langon?
"Of course, I would. I've always adored you. You're family…and besides, I needed to make up for the whole Camille thing as you reminded me," Rebekah said, cupping her cheeks and then hugging her.
"Clean slate," Hayley assured her. "So…where are we doing this?"
They sat her down in the living room. "Should we get Nik down here?" Rebekah asked.
Hayley wanted to say yes but shrugged. "He's probably still pissed so I doubt he gives a damn at this point."
Rebekah urged her to lie on the couch.
"Isn't that for shrinks?" Hayley joked.
Rebekah rolled her eyes. "I just want you to be comfortable."
Hayley exhaled nervously and lay down, resting her hands on her belly. She willed her child to relax and tried to take her own advice.
"Okay. Close your eyes," Rebekah said and placed her hands on Hayley's temples. "See it all. You will remember it all. Now."
The memories came in an instant. There wasn't a rush of images like a movie scrolling by in her head but just an instant knowing. Of a life lived that settled in the blank space of her mind like a puzzle piece being dropped in perfectly. But the power of it, the memory of that life with its joys and terrors proved to be too much and Hayley began to sob and tremble. She curled onto her side and sobbed as she remembered loving Klaus. She thought what she'd felt for him had been love, but now, having the veil lifted to feel the full power of it, Hayley cried as it overwhelmed her with the enormity of the emotion was finally revealed to her. She saw now those sad eyes looking up at her and knew now that he was saying goodbye because he loved her. Those sad eyes that had followed her for a thousand years saying everything he could not say because a monster had been standing in front of him threatening her life. He'd laughed more in that past they shared. They'd been happy. So happy. She remembered adoring him as a child, seeing him as her white knight saving her from parents who were cruel. It had been she who had begged him to bond with her to save her from a life with Langon whose parents had killed the alpha family and her own. He had resisted, wanting better for her when she'd known in her soul there was no better man than Klaus Mikaelson, the other half of her soul who became the man she loved when they reunited a few years later.
She felt hands in her hair and smelled the scent of his soap mixed with his own male scent and she buried herself in that smell, desperate for comfort as she remembered Mikael finding her.
"Shh, Little Wolf…it's all right….You're safe now…" his voice was in her ear, soft and soothing.
The loss of their child. She remembered the agony, the madness that gripped her like a fog now sharp as a blade. Rebekah holding her, spiriting her away to another life with a last gift. Oblivion.
"I'm here," Klaus whispered stroking her hair. "I'm here…"
Hayley opened her eyes and gave a little start when she realized she hadn't imagined it and Klaus actually was now sitting on the couch holding her as she cried. She turned towards him and cried harder. Not caring about war, or his anger or violence or plots. Nothing mattered but that he was here, holding her as she cried.
His eyes were red and glistening as well. They all had tears in their eyes. Hayley sniffled and grimaced as a dull throb set up in her head, a remnant of her sobbing. Nor could she breathe very well though her stuffed nose. Klaus helped her sit up.
"Are you all right?" Rebekah asked, handing her a Kleenex.
Hayley nodded and blew her nose. She took a mental note that her baby's heart was racing but otherwise, seemed all right.
"Good," Klaus said curtly then got up off the couch and left them. She was left dazed by his coldness after he had been so kind.
Rebekah cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Well, I'll go make you some tea."
"No, that's okay. I…Excuse me." Hayley got up and went upstairs to find Klaus.
She wasn't surprised to find him in front of a canvas, running angry blue slashes through it with his paint brush. "You know, that seems like it would be good therapy if it actually worked."
"I only killed one person today. Believe me. It works."
Hayley nodded. "I…owe you an apology."
"For which of your many sins?" He asked, still not turning around to face her.
"God damn it. Can you look at me? I mean, how can you be so…kind one minute and such an ass the next?"
"Is that your idea of an apology because as usual it appears we're getting our signals crossed."
Hayley closed her eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said about the night of the bonding ritual. I know now it was me who begged you to do it…why didn't you let Elijah correct me?"
"Well why wouldn't you believe I am the sort of vile creature who would manipulate a child to say nothing of using my own child to start a hybrid army. That is how you see me."
"That's how you want me to see you!" Hayley burst in frustration. She stormed towards him. "You're cruel and your snarky and you keep hurting anyone who cares for you and then when we believe the worst of you, you act like you knew it all along." She grabbed his arm and turned him to face her. "I saw you. I saw how you were with me. How much we loved each other. Why can't we be like that again? Why can't you be that man again?"
He towered over her. "That man is dead. That man died the night before our wedding."
Hayley shook her head. "No. He didn't I saw him just now, downstairs. Despite how I hurt you, you came down and you held me and comforted me as I cried." Tears filled her eyes and spilled over down he cheeks. "Just as you did when I was a frightened little girl."
She touched his face and his eyes widened in slight panic like he wanted to back away but he stood still. "I see him there now. In your eyes. In your fear of letting him show." She cupped his face and brought his mouth down to hers. Hayley kissed him slowly. It felt different. She didn't think it could possibly feel more powerful to kiss him, but now with the remembered history between them, Hayley felt full to bursting with the love inside of her. It scared her too. She wasn't used to feeling this much for another person. She'd spent a thousand years running from it, but for just a moment, to show him she was sorry, that he didn't have to hide from her, Hayley gave herself up to the feeling.
She teased his tongue with her own, sliding her teeth along the fullness of his. He held himself rigid even as his lips moved with hers. Hayley pulled back and smiled. "Don't move." She went to his door and locked it. Hayley made her way back to him, holding his gaze. She kissed him again while at the same time undoing his belt.
His eyes opened. "Hayley you don't have to-"
"Shh," Hayley whispered. "And you call me Hayley so that I know you see me and want me, not her. That's kind."
"You'd probably shoot me if I didn't," Klaus remarked, his voice rough as Hayley got down on her knees.
He was full and aching when she finally freed his cock and grasped it in her hand.
"I remember the kind man who showed me how to please him. Who was patient with me as I took him in my mouth and did it all wrong."
His hand moved instinctively into her hair but to his credit, didn't push. Hayley smiled. Slowly, she closed her mouth around just the head, licking, sucking gently before taking more.
"You…ah…you were a quick learner," Klaus growled.
The taste of him filled her senses with memories of the hours of hot, damp pleasure they had wrung from each other again and again. God, she wanted that back. More than anything she wanted that back. She hoped she could tear down her own walls too so that someday they could. It was a little easier now that she remembered the good person that Andrea Labonair had been. A little naïve maybe, but she'd been so good and Hayley felt a little bit less of a monster now that Andrea Labonair was a part of who she had been. Andrea Labonair would be a good mother to their baby if Hayley could let her shine through.
The sounds Klaus was making were so familiar to her even though they hadn't ever done this, not as she was now. Hayley. Yet she knew exactly how to stroke him with her fingers, tightening alternately in time with her mouth, how to cup and squeeze him and how he sounded and felt when he was about to come.
"Christ…Love…Stop…I'm going to…Hayley…," he warned.
She pulled away just long enough to tell him to go ahead. His eyes glowed amber and his fangs descended just as she took him back in her mouth and caught his release. He reached back and gripped the edge of his canvas snapping it in his power as his orgasm overtook him.
He reached for her to continue or perhaps repay her in kind but Hayley shook her head and started to clean up, cleaning him up as well. "We don't have time. Elijah and Rebekah are probably wondering if we killed each other."
"To the devil with Elijah and Rebekah. Come here," Klaus insisted.
"No, really. This was for you. My way of making up for being such a raging bitch. It's okay." She kissed his cheek. "Maybe a raincheck for tonight?" She pointed to the broken canvas. "I think you'll be busy with that."
Camille came by and told her about a music festival happening that night.
"We'll go together. Come by later and-" Hayley began but Klaus quickly cut her off from his side of the room by the bookcases.
"No. Sorry Camille but we won't be able to join you."
"Oh don't worry, I didn't invite you." Cami tossed back. "I invited Hayley."
Klaus smiled at her. "Hayley will not be attending the festival."
Hayley turned from her seat on the couch and glared at him. "You do see I'm sitting right here, don't you?"
He sighed in frustration. "You do realize that every time you leave this house someone tries to kill you."
"That's ridiculous. I'm not staying cooped up in this house for the next six months. I'll end up as crazy as you are. Besides, I'm not asking for your permission, Klaus."
"Marcel asked me to watch over Davina for him because she wants to go."
"Oh did he?" Klaus asked, moving away from the bookcases and closer to them.
"There we are," Hayley groaned knowing that now Klaus would be totally on board with attending the festival if it meant he could grab the little witch.
"Yeah, I haven't decided if I'm going to do it yet. I'm really hoping for a stress free, read: supernatural free, night to just enjoy the music. Babysitting a hormonal teenage witch? Not my idea of fun."
"What about a hormonal pregnant hybrid?" Klaus offered, making Hayley raise an eyebrow at him.
"Oh look who's suddenly on board with my going," Hayley said rolling her eyes. "Could you not be so predictable?"
Klaus grinned at her but then focused on Camille. "I suppose I could let Hayley attend if you were to agree to Marcel's request."
"Let me…oh so much chauvinism I can't even…" Hayley snapped. "You know I could just sneak out of the house."
"Why even ask me?" Camille countered. "We both know you could compel me to do it."
"I promised Hayley I wouldn't anymore so I'm being a gentleman and asking instead."
The soda Hayley had been drinking went down the wrong pipe as she choked on a laugh, causing a coughing fit.
"Blackmailing is not a gentlemanly trait," Cami pointed out as she rubbed Hayley's back.
"It's not blackmail, love. It's bribery," Klaus corrected with a sweet innocent smile.