Devil Takes the Hindmost, chapter 25
A/N: Hey! So, here we are, chapter 25. Some updates:
1) Callouts to my reviewers who reviewed the joke and real chapter 24!
sweet-dreaded-love; divergentandproudofit; Tobiastris999999; swiftielove; QueenofNovellas; Guest; Iamdivergent2000; Guest; Ydissbooksogood; percabeth1414; Vivianvickyha123; BrandyM and rummy101!
2) Starting my own Book Tubing channel! Unfortunately, for privacy reasons, I'm setting the videos to "only people with link may view". It should be up by Friday, and if you want the link, send me PM'S, and we'll discuss contact info because as we all know, doesn't let people post links!
3) My account will be a bit slower then usual, as this weekend I have the 30 Hour Famine; next weekend is my trip to the States (North Dakota if anybody is wondering); and the one after that is our school's Big Band Dance and My sister's 18th birthday (cough AlissaWeasley cough)
TOBIAS' POV
After Beatrice is lead away from the scene, I kneel by Allison, fear igniting in my heart. Beatrice really was incredibly strong. Alice's nose bled profusely, crimson blood staining the lockers and her nose. Her face was pale, except for the swelling bruise on the side of her head, beginning to turn purple. Becoming worse with every passing second. Her eyes were unfocused, darting from corner to corner. Her hair was knotted, far from perfection. I gulp, seeing the bruises on her arms and collarbone. She would have to be brought to the infirmary.
"Toby?" she calls out, her voice higher and a bit comedic. "Toby...is that you?" Her arms flail, trying to get a grip on me. Though I resist, my conscience screams to just be there for her. To be there for her, ground her, when Beatrice has knocked her off the earth. I slip my left arm under her jean clad legs, and my other arm supports her neck, as I slowly stand up. The crowd parts for me, as I walk through the silent hallways. Nobody says a word, or even snickers, as I walk through the hallways. She continues to cry my name, though I refuse to answer. Students with wide eyes watch me as I walk through the hallways, heading from the West hallway to the infirmary, silence following me wherever I go. I hear conversations break out behind me as I continue on my way, but all I can think about is Beatrice. How could she do this. How has this even happened to Allison? I had underestimated Beatrice. Tris. Were they still the same person? Tris was the one to do this to Allison. Beatrice was the one I had backed into a wall and intimidated that fateful day. This wasn't the work of Beatrice. This was Tris' work. The one I had turned.
talks to the nurses as I set Allison down onto the white cot. For a moment, I remember the last time I had been here, watching Beatrice kiss Albert. The way her eyes had widened in surprise, and that my heart had broken in half. But now, I am unsure if my heart is in the right place. To know my love could be an abuser, to be so tough to do this to an unlikely victim...and if my heart is in the right place. Maybe I love the twisted, the cruel, and the displaced. Those who become different when love interferes.
I brush some hair back from Allison's face, pitying the girl. The confident, beautiful girl I had faked my affections for was no longer here, broken by Tris' hands. She shriveled away from my hands, whimpering slightly. My heart breaks a bit more. She was afraid of me. For the first time in ages, I am not the one to be feared. It is the monster I created that has struck fear into her heart.
"Shh," I assure her, slowly running my hand through her soft blonde hair, knotted and matted, "I'm not going to hurt you."
"Y-You..." she stutters, gulping nervously as I remove my hand from her hair and wipe it on my t-shirt, "You won't?"
"Of course." I whisper, pitying this creature who had been so confident and amazing beforehand.
"I can't believe you fell in love with her," she says after awhile, after the nurse had given her shots and began to treat the wounds. It was said she'd be fine after a few hours in the infirmary.
"Neither can I."
"Did you ever...love me?"
"I thought I did."
"Could..." she reaches up hesitantly, brushing her hand against my cheeks. My cheeks flare in color, remembering the last time a girl had touched me so affectionately. I couldn't think of that. Not now.
"Could what?"
"Could you ever love me?"
I am shocked for a moment, realizing the enormity of the question. Had I never seen it? Allison, my friend and temporary girlfriend, had been in love with me this entire time. She was head over heels in love with me. It was not a fling, and it was not a mere crush. Allison Preston, the girl I had only dated to make Beatrice jealous, had fallen miserably in love with me. And how it must have pained her, to know I only dated her to make another jealous. She knew the entire time. And let it crush her inside.
"I...I don't know..."
"Maybe?"
"Maybe..."
I see her face crumble, to see disappointment settle on her face. Without a second thought, to see such sadness and heartbreak take her face, I realized I owe her. To know she had loved me and will never love another, and that I will never feel the same, we are unbalanced. I had too much love to give. She had lost all of her love. Slowly, I bring her cheek in my hands, rubbing her smooth cheeks with my thumb, before pulling her into a kiss. I am soft, slow, different from my night of passion with Beatrice, and she is just as soft. We kiss, immersing ourselves into each other, losing the night and day as we continue to kiss, letting the world's misery win once and for all. We are the lost and the stragglers, and we only have each other.
A strangled sob is echoed behind me, and I pull back from the poor girl, to see my Beatrice, my Tris, standing there, eyes wide with fear. Almost like dejavu, she runs, leaving her heart with me and the broken, as I see myself take her place that day many months ago, when she had broken my heart. Now, I have broken hers.
TRIS' POV:
My heart is left in the infirmary, as I sprint home, tears blurring my vision. My heart is in shreds, torn and broken. How could he have done this? To betray me after we had been together through such ordeals? How do we go from here? Is there anything we can do to fix this, to mend ourselves? No. Of course not. He never really loved me, did he? He had only used me to get what he want, Albert's murder coming in between. How could I have been so blind. He had needed me, used me, and was now showing his true colors. Never have I felt so much betrayal in one day. To know he never loved me, makes me want to die. I couldn't, though. Not yet. My job on this earth was not done, and though my heart is broken, I move along.
Slamming my door hard, I press my back into my bedroom wall, sobbing into my hands. Why did love hurt so much? As soon as you submitted, and surrendered your flesh and bone, love took on a life far greater then your own...this was true. I had barely known what I was during love, and look what love had done to me. Love was the one to change me from Beatrice to Tris, not Tobias. The worse monster of them all, love.
"Beatrice?" My brother's voice. "Beatrice? Are you alright?"
I pause, my sobs descending to sniffles. I wipe the mucus that has formed underneath my nose with the back of my hand, coating my skin with the shiny, gelatinous liquid. "N-No..."
I move aside, as the door knob turns. There he stands, my brother. It must have been one of his days off from the shop, because he wears a huge band t-shirt he had been a fan of for years. Sweat pants and unkempt hair, his wide eyes look down at my snivelling form. Without a word, he helps me to my feet, and caresses my hair, as I break again. I sob into his neck, feeling safe, yet unsafe at the same time. Nobody else is home, so I am free to cry without my parents being concerned. It would break their heart to know their daughter's heart has been stolen by someone who has collected their jar of hearts, and letting them all fall, breaking and coming apart.
"Tobias?"
"H-He..." I whisper, trying to keep it together, "Kissed..All-" I choke for a moment on my words, before continuing, "n-never...loved me..."
"I told you he was a bastard. C'mere..."
He continues to hold me, letting me cry for minutes without end. His strong arms hold my tiny body, and he whispers comforting thoughts into my ears, letting my sorrow be shared with him. To know I was being comforted by a potential psychopath was terrifying, but it was better being comforted by a psycopath who cared for me, rather then a loving person who will never know your own heart, but always pretended they did. It was sick, it was twisted, letting my brother who could be a murderer hold me, but when everybody you ever loved has abandoned you, the scum of the earth are the only ones who will ever hold you.