CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

Cullen Cove

I was never a morning person. Not ever. Not even as a kid. This was another thing that changed with Edward, because the moment I woke I wanted to spring out of bed to find him. But this morning, the morning after our bloody kiss, our argument and the ensuing fuck that nearly made me speak in tongues, he was in bed next to me when I woke, still, cool, curved around me, a protective hard shell. I stretched myself, turned to face him and watched his eyes open.

"You weren't sleeping were you?" I asked.

"No," he said. "I was just thinking about last night."

"Which part?"

"All of it."

"The part where you were really mad at me?"

"Yeah, that too."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I've got to find a way to make that up to you."

"No, you don't," he said, pulling me closer.

"What does it do to you when you drink my blood?" I asked.

He shifted under the sheet, and I could feel him getting tense. "It's bad?"

"It's bad for you," he said.

"I know this might sound weird, but I like it. And not just because… " I paused, gauging his reaction, which appeared curious and not all that surprised. "Not because of the orgasms."

"What do you like about it then?"

"I feel like I'm inside of you, sustaining you in some way. Does that make sense or does it just sound fucked up?"

"Bella, you are always in me," he said. "You are the light of my world. I don't need your blood to sustain me, I just need you, here."

I went to kiss him but hesitated.

"What's wrong?" he said.

"I don't know what's okay for me to do now. Can I kiss you or do I need to ask permission first?"

"You're a fast learner."

"I'm trying."

"Do you understand why I did what I did last night?"

"Yes," I said. "You're afraid of losing control of your predator instincts and hurting me, so you moved to a controlling role."

"Right. Sex is the most dangerous time for us, so the new rule is just there to keep things safe. But you don't have to ask me if you can kiss me."

"But I want to know—do you actually prefer to be dominant like that? Because I get the feeling that wasn't the first time you…" I paused as I felt the scowl come across my face. "It seems like you've done this before."

"What's wrong?"

"Thinking of you with someone else makes me want to break something."

"Is that so?" he smirked. "Be grateful you can't read their minds the morning after. I had to go out and kill something right after I left the high school that morning when you were with Jake. His fucking paws on you, kissing you in that parking lot in front of me."

"I did try to hit him for that."

"You did?" He laughed. "Wish I'd seen that."

"So it was more than just Mercy, then?"

"Do you really want to talk about this right now?"

"No. I just want to know if you prefer to… what's the term?"

"Dom," he said. "And no, I don't prefer it, other than I know it turns you on."

"How do you know that?"

He shook his head and narrowed his eyes at me. "Bella, when you're turned on, I know it. I'd know it from a mile away."

"How do you know I was turned on by you being dom or whatever and not just by you?"

"Trust me, I can tell," he said. "Does it bother you that it turns you on?"

"Does it bother you?"

"This is all so new to you," he said, shaking his head. Then he rolled me onto my back, climbed on top of me and pinned my wrists over my head. I immediately got hot, and he ran his nose along my neck, inhaling deeply. "Sweetheart, if I wanted to? I could fuck you and then drain you of your life and make your murder pleasure you as much as your finest orgasm. So no, it doesn't bother me that you get turned on by power play."

My body lit up like dry tinder under a torch, and he began to breathe deeply through his nose. I now understood what he was doing. He was inhaling me like a drug. He was smoking me.

"Is that supposed to scare me or turn me on?" I asked.

"I know it turns you on." He kissed my neck and then my shoulder.

"Is that bad?"

"Not unless you find yourself in the intimate company of another vampire. And you'd better not."

"Am I supposed to ask you for… Or should I not ask you? How does this work?"

"What is it you want?"

"I want you to tell me what to do—if that's okay."

Then he kissed me again, a harder, more insistent kiss. "Go stand against that door there for me. I want to look at you."

There was an intimacy, an honesty to his directive that I'd never experienced in any other way. I knew exactly what he wanted and why. All I had to do was see it through. I climbed out of bed, still naked and walked across the stateroom to the door and turned to face him.

"You like to look at me a lot," I said, my hands on my hips.

"That's right."

He propped himself on an elbow, the sheet draped just over his lower half, and said, "Spread your legs a little."

My mouth dropped in surprise and he smiled, a cat with a mouse in its teeth. I did as he said and watched his eyes travel down. "Good," he said, when I'd parted them. "Now touch yourself."

Blood rushed through my body, carried by my quickening pulse. I was blushing. He loved to make me blush, I could see by the bulge appearing under the sheet before I even moved. Then I slowly put my hand in between my legs and held it there.

"Go on," he said, encouraging.

I rubbed my middle finger lightly over my hard clit, soft circles that had my legs tensing as I felt myself hotter, wetter inside.

"Does that feel good?" he asked. I nodded in response, unable to speak. "Keep your eyes here, babe. I want to watch your face."

I looked at him then, his eyes dark, the corners of his mouth turned up in a way that made his intense pleasure at the sight of me obvious. Breathe. I had to remember to breathe. I kept my eyes on his but didn't speak. His desire began to escalate, his chest rising and falling with every breath he took.

"Come to me," I said.

His hesitation was a quick stab to my heart in that moment. My face must have shown my need and my displeasure at even the small distance between us, because a second later he was on his knees before me, his mouth pressed to my naked belly, soft licks and tender kisses making it quiver and ache for him. His hands pressed into the flesh of my ass and then he moved like light to my legs, spreading me before him as he ran his nose along the crease in my leg, and then into me, followed by light, cool licks of his tongue just along the edge of me. I grabbed his shoulders and he hooked one of my legs with his arm, pulling it up, pushing me back into the wall and then I felt his tongue, hard and insistent as it slid up into me. I groaned and tightened as he sucked my clit into his mouth and held it ever so gently between his teeth and then flicked the tip of his tongue over it. Then he thrust his tongue deep into me, over and over until I was coming and then he continued into my orgasm, holding me up against the wall over him.

"I want you in my mouth," I said, sliding down to the floor, kissing him, tasting myself on his lips, running my tongue over his mouth, pushing against his chest, aggressive and needy and insistent in a way I hadn't dared be with him since that first night. "Now."

"Now that's pretty demanding," he said, standing up, leaving me on the floor. "I'm not sure that behavior falls within the confines of our newly established policy."

"Come on," I said. "Please?"

"Please what?" He smiled down at me as he saw my face turn pink.

"Can I please… " I paused. I hadn't ever actually asked a man this question before. It wasn't normally a question.

"Can you please what?"

"Can I please suck your cock?" I asked, looking up at him, and then winced as I heard myself say "cock" in front of Edward and mean it.

"See? Was that so difficult?"

He backed himself against the wall and held himself before me, hard as he stroked himself and seeing him do that, here in daylight, realizing now that I was a complete amateur at this and there was no way I was getting that thing down, I was suddenly very intimidated.

"Come here," he said.

I stood up and walked the few steps to stand before him. "Are you sure?"

"I'm nervous," I said.

He kissed me then, put his hand to the back of my neck, stroked the lower part of my skull with sure fingers. "God, I love making you nervous," he said. "I'm sorry, but it's just so hot."

I shook my head at him. "You're bad."

"I know." He cupped my chin and kissed me, his lips reassuring. Then gave me a very devilish grin as he set his eyes on mine. "On your knees, Bella," he said.

I closed my eyes for a moment to collect myself.

I was not someone who had a lot of experience giving head, despite my daring execution of roadhead on the night Edward had revealed his secret to me. Something about that night, my bloodletting, the onset of my manic episode, the adrenaline rush made me feel as confident as a porn star at this. But now? Now I was worried I'd disappoint.

I lowered myself to my knees and paused as he held his cock before me, erect and long and imposing right there in my face. I looked up at him, and then looked back at his cock and saw it, before my very eyes, grow harder, thicker, if that was possible—just, more. He was very, very turned on. By me. On my knees. And then I suddenly had my confidence back.

"Just take it slow, honey," he said.

I nodded, wetting my lips. I didn't have to get the whole thing down—I would still please him. I was sure of that much.

I started kissing it, my lips dripping saliva, slippery down the shaft. I let my hand wander and hold him beneath, firmly, and felt the movement, heard his low utterances, the growls of anticipation he was straining to keep buried in his chest as I tormented him a little in this way. I wrapped my hand around the base and started to lick him then, my tongue hot to his cold, hard skin. I flattened it and worked around him until I came to the tip. I teased it with the tip of my tongue and heard him restrain himself from groaning. And then I opened my mouth wide and wrapped my wet lips around the tip.

"Fuck, Bella," he said. "That's good."

I grabbed his hips and steadied myself, pausing. Then I slid my mouth further and felt him tense as he hit the back of my throat. There was still so much more of him, though. I pulled back slowly, leaving just the tip of him in my mouth and swallowed. Then I moved my lips down his shaft again and felt his hands in my hair, as I took him to the back of my throat again and stopped just before the gag reflex kicked in. Then I pulled off of him again, wrapped my hand around the base of his shaft and stroked him as I pulled my lips back to the tip.

"So good, babe," he said, fingering my hair, his hand easing over the contour of my face, encouraging.

I slid my mouth down him again, more confident, until he got to the back of my throat and then I paused, waited for the gag reflex, but didn't pull back.

"Relax, Bella," he said. "Open yourself to me."

I took a deep breath through my nose. I can do this, I thought. He gently thread his fingers in my hair, then massaged my scalp. Then I felt my throat begin to relax and open to him. He stood perfectly still as I tipped my head and moved slowly further down his shaft, until he was suddenly filling my throat and in the core of me? I began to clench, tight as I felt this entirely new sensation. I held him there.

"That's it," he said. "Fuck. Yes."

I pulled off of him, and then took him down into my throat and he groaned, the muscles of his ass tensing under my hands as I gripped him and held him.

Was I going to come just from the sensation of having him in my throat?

Yes. Yes I was.

I pulled off, and then took him down again. And then again and again until I thought his legs would crack from the strain of his tensing thighs.

"Bella," he said, and I knew. I reached my hand down between my legs, feeling myself dripping wet, my clit hard as a pebble and I rubbed it and then throated Edward again. As he saw me reach for myself, he went to pull out of my mouth but I moved my hands back to his ass, holding him. I pulled off.

"Come in my mouth," I said.

"No," he said.

"Yes," I said. "Please."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Yes, it's a great idea," I said, putting my mouth back to him and sliding forward again until he was as deep in my throat as he could go. I held him there and rubbed my clit until I started to tense beneath him, his enormous cock filling my throat, my mouth and then I came like that and as I was coming, I pulled back and then went down on him again, as far as I could. He groaned and tried to pull out of my mouth, but somehow I managed to hold onto him. I did it again and then felt him come completely undone. He held my head as the intense stream of his ejaculate filled my throat, my mouth, spilled out the sides, all savory and cool and tingly as it dripped down my chin, onto my breasts and he shuddered and pulled out of me and dropped to his knees before me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a little wild eyed. "Did I hurt you?" He wiped himself from my cheeks and chin with his thumb. And as he held my face in his hands, I looked him in the eyes and swallowed. And his jaw dropped, just a little before the corners of his mouth turned up into a slightly stunned, but satisfied smile.

"Hurt me?" I said, pulling his hand to my mouth and licking it clean, sucking on his fingers. "Do I look hurt to you?"

He shook his head. "Not really."

"Why? Did I hurt you?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him playfully.

"I'm beginning to think you could if you wanted to."

"So, then, I say we're even now," I said.

"God, I love you." Then he kissed me, his lips soft and full of wonder.

#

After I ate breakfast, we charted a course and pulled up anchor. I got to captain the first leg of the sail, and the wind was brisk, the morning overcast. Sometime mid-morning we swapped places and as I watched him at the helm, the cloud cover began to break and our first rays of sunshine broke through. Off of Edward's face, I saw tiny rainbows and thought I was tripping.

"Edward I can see trails off your skin in this light. Do you think that's part of mania too, or is that some residual effect of your venom?"

"No, that's just me," he said. "This is the reason vampires don't go out in sunlight. We call too much attention to ourselves."

"All this time I've known you, I've never seen you in sunlight?"

"I don't go out in the sun unless I'm on the boat. And then I'm usually alone."

"Does it burn you?"

"No, but direct sunlight weakens my powers a little."

"How much?"

"I can still take you in arm wrestling."

"We'll have to see about that," I said.

"Brazen girl," he said. "You're on. As soon as we find a quiet beach."

The day whet my appetite further for the much longer sail we now planned for immediately after graduation. We would launch late Saturday night and head west, towards Hawaii. My idea. But first, I had to speak to Jake and help settle the new treaty between the Cullens and the Quileute. Then I'd gather a few belongings from my house and say goodbye to Charlie. That was the worst part.

"What am I going to tell my father?" I said. "I don't even know where to begin."

"Tell him the truth," Edward said.

"The real truth? Like the vampire truth?"

"He either already knows or he's going to find out from Sue Clearwater or the Blacks," he said. "Better he find out from you, don't you think?"

"Jake had better not tell him before I do," I said.

"I thought you said Jacob was afraid of him, so why would he tell him?"

"Well, he's more afraid of Charlie's disapproval than anything else. Charlie and Jake have always been close."

Edward's face clouded a little. "Does Charlie know Jake proposed to you? Would he want you to marry Jake?"

"Look, that was hardly a proposal," I said. "I never mentioned it to Charlie, so if Jake tells him he's marrying me before he hears it from me, he'll never buy it. And he would never tell me who to marry. That's not his style."

"Bella, I need to know," Edward said. "What is Jacob Black to you? I know Monday wasn't the first time you've been with him."

I had been dreading this conversation. I'd known it was inevitable, but had hoped to post-pone it indefinitely.

"I guess Jake is sort of like Mercy," I said.

"No," Edward said. "You have feelings for Jake that go beyond friendship. I know you do."

"They don't come close to the feelings I have for you."

"If he'd asked you to marry him in some sort of proper way, would you have considered it?"

"On Monday? No way."

"Okay, let's say you never met me. Let's say it was a year ago."

I hesitated and looked out over the water.

"So you do love him."

"It's very different," I said.

"He loves you too," Edward said. "You do know that, don't you?"

"Jake is not into me. The only time he shows any interest is when I'm with someone else. It's totally annoying."

"He never pursued you because he didn't think the wife of a werewolf was a good enough life for you."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I can read his mind, remember?"

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, getting irritated. "I don't want to think about Jake right now."

"You need to know the truth," he said. "And I need to know that you wouldn't rather be with him."

"Edward, if I'd rather be with him, I would have gone to him already," I said.

"You didn't know the truth," he said. "You need to know before he sees you tomorrow. He's going to try to convince you to leave me and be with him."

"It won't work."

"How many times have you slept with him?"

"Why do you need to know that?"

"I need to know."

"A handful of times," I said. "I don't know the exact number."

"So then, too many times to count. For how many years?"

"Okay, okay," I said. "When I first came back to Forks, I hung out with Jake a lot. I was in bad shape, Edward, and he was a comfort to me. So on the weekends we'd get drunk and end up in bed together. I was too fucked up to be in a relationship back then, and he never pushed it. Things between us were casual. Then about a year ago, he got hired to teach and he started to really blow me off."

"That's around the time we came back," he said.

"How do you know so much about him? Do you two actually know each other?"

"Jacob Black is one of the fiercest vampire hunters in the Pacific Northwest. His skill is legendary. All our kind know who he is."

"Well then, why hasn't he hunted you down?" I asked.

"Because Carlisle established a treaty with his great grandfather more than a century ago," he said. "Vampires have always been attracted to this region because of the weather, so they've been a problem for the Quileute. When we established territory here we kept the predators out. The Quileute know us and our philosophy and they know we keep the predators away, so they want us around as long as they don't have to interact with us. But ever since we moved back to Forks last summer, Jake has had nothing to do," Edward said. "He's lost and he wants us gone."

"And now I've given him the perfect excuse."

"It's politically very dicey for him," Edward said. "The tribal elders don't want us to leave. While we were away they still lost members to vampires. Jake and the pack can't be everywhere at once."

"No wonder he's been so weird this year," I said. "It's like he's been depressed or something."

"So, were you in love with him?"

"He was unreliable, you know?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Well, I might have fallen in love with him if he'd been at all consistent with me. But he was always so non-committal that I couldn't really get serious about him."

"Well now you know why. He was trying to give you a chance at a better life."

"It doesn't matter," I said. "He should have told me and let me decide what kind of life I wanted."

"That's what Illeana said, too," Edward said.

"You talked to her about that?"

"I talked to her about telling you the truth myself. I was coming back Tuesday night to tell you everything and ask you to leave Forks with me. But I was too late."

"No, Edward," I said. "The way I remember it, you were just in time."

#

We sailed on a stiff breeze to the northern part of the San Juan Islands, the furthest away from Forks, and dropped anchor in Fox Cove off of Sucia Island.

"We'll never make it back to Port Angeles in time from here tomorrow," I said. "Graduation is at seven."

"Don't underestimate Reckoner," Edward said. "She'll get us there."

Part of me was hoping she wouldn't.

The cove was quiet, secluded with a narrow little beach with grass and woods just beyond. And deserted. It reminded me of the kind of place I might encounter a medieval princess and a saucy dragon. All we needed was fog, but there was none this afternoon.

We were able to anchor Reckoner close to shore and set out to go exploring.

"Hop on," he said with a smile. "I'll show you around."

And just like Lake Crescent, once I was perched on his back, he flew through the landscape so fast I got giddy. We leapt over the downed trunks of trees, crossed streams effortlessly as he took us into the deepest part of the island, and then finally, with me still on his back, he climbed right up to the top of the tallest tree.

"You really are strong," I said.

"Just vampire strong," he said.

"If I was a vampire, would I be strong like you too?"

"Sure," he said. "When you're first transformed you're at your strongest, so you'd probably be even stronger than me."

"Oh, I will totally take you in arm wrestling then."

"We'll see."

We lounged in the branches, like exotic birds of prey and swayed in the light breeze. Edward never loosened his grip on me. I was in awe of this life and becoming more eager to embrace it.

"I want you to change me soon," I said. "Tonight. Before I go back to Forks tomorrow."

"First of all, transformation takes days so if I change you tonight, you'll never make it to graduation," he said. "And then once you're a new vampire, you'll have such insatiable bloodlust you won't be safe around humans for possibly a year or more."

"Really?" My stomach dropped as I thought about not seeing Charlie and Sue, Illeana and Carl and Perla, even Jake, for a year or more. "Is it very hard to abstain?"

"At first, yes." he said. "You get better with time and practice."

"I really don't want to kill anyone."

"I won't let you kill anyone."

"So you are going to change me then?"

He paused before answering me, brushed the hair from my face and kissed me on the forehead. "Many years from now, if you still want that, yes. But I don't want to change you before you get pregnant and have a baby or ten babies if that's what you want."

"I thought you couldn't father children?"

"I can't. But that doesn't mean you can't get pregnant and have a baby, as long as you stay human."

"You mean artificial insemination or something, right?"

"Well I wasn't thinking you'd do it the traditional way with someone else, no."

"You want to have a family, Edward?" The thought of such a thing gave me chills. "With me?"

"I've been talking to Carlisle about it," he said. "There's a lot we have to consider first, but I know how important it is to you and I want to give that to you. And I want to have that experience with you, Bella."

I seemed to do a lot of crying these days, more than I ever had in years, even with all that stilted grief and depression. But when I was depressed I hadn't felt anything at all. Now? It was like I felt the earth move if a caterpillar scuttled across a leaf in the next county. All I did was feel. And this idea that Edward wanted to raise kids with me, and had already discussed it with Carlisle and had thought about how to do that? It floored me.

He pulled me into his embrace, grazed the skin of my cheek with his own and kissed the tears away, and I inhaled him like cold invigorating air. How I loved this man. How intensely I felt his love for me.

"We'll live a normal, human existence. But I still have to figure out how to handle things once the kids are old enough to realize I'm not aging and you are," he said.

"Wait—you think I'm going to stay human and get old while you get to stay in your seventeen year old body? No way."

"Well, you can't change into a vampire with kids. In a new vampire state you'd be far too dangerous around them."

"I don't want to grow old while you stay young."

"Bella, growing old is an important part of life. It's the goal of life, right? To progress. What I wouldn't give to have that ability again."

"You're nuts."

"There are a lot of things you think about when you consider an eternity spent on earth. And anyway, you can become a vampire at 90 years old if you want. There's no point in rushing it."

"No way. You won't want me when I'm an old lady."

"Bella, there's never going to be a time when I won't want you." he said. "You'll always be perfect to me."

"I want to have a baby, yes, but maybe we can adopt after I'm a vampire or something. I don't know. Esme and Carlisle have all of you, right? I need to think this through some more."

"You know what? I'm glad to finally hear you say that."

#

For our last night in the San Juans, he wanted to build a fire on the beach and watch for shooting stars. With his vision he was really good at spotting them, even when the moon was out.

When the sun went down, he took the dinghy to shore along with some supplies and I went down to the stateroom to change. I opened the trunk and rifled through the clothing Alice had purchased for me. As I pulled out dress after dress I laughed and then I hung them up in the empty closet, satisfied as I saw my new belongings in their new home. Then I finally found some clothes that looked like I would wear and put on a t-shirt, thinking I would pair it with jeans and a sweater. But when I looked at myself in the mirror I changed my mind.

Out of the closet I pulled out a classic looking dark red poplin dress with a full knee-length skirt, an open back, a halter neck and an adorable bustline. It looked made for dancing. A bit formal for a beach fire, but it was Friday night. Plus I knew Edward would be surprised and I had a feeling he really liked me in a dress, though he never mentioned it. I slipped it on, pulled my hair up into a loose pile and fastened it there with some tendrils floating down around my face. Then I went into the head and put on mascara, eyeliner, lipstick.

Up in the cockpit, Edward sat on the bench waiting, his bare feet up, causal, smiling broadly as soon as he saw me emerge from the cabin. I stopped for a jaw drop at the sight of him, because he was wearing his tux, his pants were rolled up and he wore a white button down shirt with the top few buttons undone, no tie, and his jacket casually open. And it was all I could do to stand in place and not leap into his lap and rip the ensemble right off him.

"God, you look hot," I said. "What's the occasion?"

"You're wearing a dress?" he said. "By choice?"

"Yeah," I said. "Why? Don't you like it?"

"I love it," he said. "I just can't believe I've seen you wear three dresses in one week."

"See? Brave new me."

He rowed us to shore and then as I cautiously shifted to step from the dinghy to the beach, he lifted me out of the little boat and placed me gently on my feet, on the dry sand. I hadn't bothered with shoes. Over the bay, the moon was high in the sky, not as large as the night before, but still bright and beautiful. We sat on the blanket and from a worn canvas tote he pulled out a bottle of chilled Pellegrino, a wine glass, and poured me some water.

"Sorry it's not champagne," he said.

"I don't need any champagne," I said, noticing my pulse speed up, and he glanced over at me and grinned. He must have heard it.

It was all was perfect.

He got up to gather wood, his quick, smooth motion made it feel like watching a tree spirit flit in and out of the brush, in and out of consciousness. I got up and walked to the edge of the water and stuck my toes in, now enjoying the coldness against my warm skin. Out over the water I strained my eyes, looking for shooting stars, or some sign but saw none, so in my head I began to speak.

He's going to ask me, Zack. He's going to ask me to be his wife. Tonight.

And then I heard Zack reply in my head, Isabella, your heart is the whole world, with room enough for us all. Let it be full again. Let it be light.

#

Orange-yellow light flashed from behind me as I heard the crackle of twigs catching flame. The fire cast color onto Edward's face, giving him a most human appearance. He looked so happy—maybe happier than I'd ever seen him look before. As he crouched down poking a long stick into the center of the flames, stoking them, I thought to myself how uniquely beautiful he was. I could see him sometimes as that boy he was so many years ago, and yet he was so much more than that. How could someone as beautiful, as loving as Edward ever be spiritually doomed, cast out from the rest of this world, bound to the earth until it dried up and blew away into the dust of the solar system?

Whatever his ultimate fate, I would never leave him to it alone.

Satisfied with the state of the fire, he turned around and pulled out his iPod, a set of speakers and put on a song. Then he walked over to me and pulled me into his arms.

"Dance with me," he said, smiling.

I nodded, unable to speak as I felt the moment draw near. It was already going too fast.

He took my hand in his and held it to his chest, his fingers wrapped around mine gently, securely. His other hand took to the small of my back as he drew me into him, much closer than he could a month ago when we danced in that painful moment together at prom. I let my hand wander across the back of his neck, softly stroking into his hair, as I'd wanted to do those few weeks ago. How far we'd come already from that point.

Try not to cry yet, Bella, I said to myself. Hold it together.

Edward moved us in time to the music, over the sand like we'd danced thousands of times, over hundreds of years, as though dancing with him was a simple matter of breathing, walking, sleeping. Keep me here in this moment awhile, my love, my heart said to his. Don't let it go too fast.

My ear to his chest, I realized now I was used to the absence of his heartbeat. In its place I swore I could hear a low hum, could feel the energy that animated his every word and deed. He was as alive as anything in the universe could possibly be.

My own pulse began to speed up as he danced me under the stars, next to the flickering light of the fire. He was going to ask any minute now. I felt a chill and then my back broke out into goosebumps.

"It's a perfect night, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, a little bit enthusiastically for the mood. "Yes, really, perfect."

He laughed, lighthearted, and then smiled down at me. "This night we'll remember forever, I think," he said, and then ran his hand along my face, pulled my chin up and bent to give me a soft kiss. I got so excited I started to twitch and tried to keep myself from hyperventilating.

"What's wrong Bella," he asked, smirking. "Are you nervous or something?"

"Yes," I said, my voice wavering. "A little."

"Now, why is that?" he teased.

"No real reason," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I said, my eyes filling up with tears, and then tears I could not contain, they just spilled over and down onto the sand. With his thumbs he brushed them away and then he took my hands in his and knelt before me on one knee. "Yes," I said again. "Yes. Definitely yes. Yes."

"You have to let me ask you first," he said, smiling.

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice breaking.

"Shh, sweetheart." He pulled me so I was sitting on his knee as he knelt in the sand. He kissed me under each eye, wiped my tears away. Then he pulled his face from mine just enough so that I could gaze clearly into those deep, red eyes of his.

"Will you marry me, Bella?"

"Yes," I said. Then I started to cry harder as I felt the ring slip onto my finger, a swift and simple movement, but one that took my breath away. I threw my arms around his neck and shook with silent sobs as I tried to contain my joy. I was going to marry Edward. I was going to be his wife and keep him forever and ever and ever.

And then there we were, in a future I never would have dreamed possible, the one with vampires and werewolves and angry shape shifted bears and fires on the beach under moons that stayed full for weeks on end. The one where I was happy again.

We lingered, breathing together, our lips touching again and again. He took my hand and felt the ring as it circled my finger like it had been made for me.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it."

He laughed because I hadn't even looked at it yet. I glanced down and teared up all over again when I saw the antique Edwardian era ring, a delicate, square mine cut setting.

"Edward it's stunning," I said. "It's perfect. I adore it. I'm honored to wear your mother's ring."

"She would have loved you," he said, with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Bella Cullen." I said it out loud, trying it out.

"You're going to change your name?" he asked, surprised.

"Sure," I said. "Is that okay?"

"Absolutely. I'd love for you to take my name," he said. "I just thought maybe you'd always kept your maiden name."

"Now what kind of a stalker are you if you don't know that I changed my name when I moved back to Forks four years ago?"

"What was your married name?"

"Isabella Marie Abbott," I said and felt a twinge. It had been a long time since I'd said that name out loud.

"Bella Cullen," he said.

"It sounds good, right?"

"Very good," he said.

I think if Edward had the normal bodily functions of a human, I might have seen his eyes tear up a little right then. I put my arms around him and then led us both over to the blanket where we sat down and talked about wedding plans, almost as though we were any other normal, newly engaged couple. I had to laugh when I considered the possible cast of characters that might compose our guest list, had things been less complicated.

"How could we possibly get married in Maui? Aren't you worried about the sunlight? I mean that could be a problem for your side of the family."

"I was thinking something at night, and much more private," he said. "Unless you'd rather have something formal. Whatever you want, you'll have it."

"Perfect. As long as that's your philosophy on marriage, I think this is going to work out quite well," I said, to his laughter.

Then we talked deep into the night as we sat on that blanket and poked sticks into the dying fire. We should just stay right here, I thought but didn't say. It's all perfect right now. Let's just stay here and have our happily ever after and be done with it. Fuck everything, everyone else.

"I don't want to go back," I said quietly after awhile.

"I don't either," he said.

"We'll stay right here," I said.

"Why not?" he said. "What else do we need, really? We've got the moon, the water, Reckoner. Everything else is incidental."

"We'll claim Fox Cove as Cullen Cove. We'll make a sign and put it on that tree right over there. Maybe we'll even get our own flag."

"Sounds perfect."

He put his arm around me and then kissed my lips, cool and soft and adoring. I pressed mine to his more insistently and then hesitated, trying to find the words to ask him, in that gentle moment, for the thing I most wanted from him right then.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Bella?"

It wasn't just the heat of the fire or the proximity of Edward that made my face flush. He would be my husband. Soon.

"Will you make love to me now?" I whispered.

His eyes softened again, shining in the dying fire as he bent his face to mine and pulled me as close as he could.

"Let's go home," he said, with a nod to Reckoner.

#

Back on board we stayed up above, under the cooling air. He pulled my hair loose, his hands happily lost in the curled locks falling down my back as his lips found mine again, and played on them so tenderly I felt like I could read a lifetime's worth of sentiment in their touch. I wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, holding his face to mine.

"Tell me," I said, standing on my toes to kiss his forehead, touching my brow to his. He closed his eyes and exhaled and I took his lips with another kiss. His breath quickened, like it might if he were still human. "I want to do whatever it is you want."

"Okay look, come here." He pulled me to the bench and sat me on his lap. "You just said yes…" He paused and then kissed me again, taking another deep breath.

"You're breathing a lot," I said. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said and then smiled. "I guess you make me feel human."

"Is that a good thing?"

"It's a very good thing," he said. "You're going to be my wife, Bella. My wife."

"I know," I said, smiling, my eyes tearing up. "Can we get married right away? I don't want to wait."

"Yes, we've waited long enough," he said, kissing me on the ear, then in the space just below, right at my jawbone, giving me chills again. "But you are so, so worth the wait."

"I want to be good for you. I want to be a good wife."

"You're already perfect," he said. "So here's what I'm going to do." He lowered the zipper on my dress, tipped my chin so our eyes were locked and said, "I'm going to take you right now, right here, very slowly."

"Oh my God," I said with a deep breath and I kissed him insistently on the lips, assurance of my eager anticipation of that intention. He quickly rid us both of our clothes, and then pulled me back to his lap, facing him. His thumbs brushed along the soft curve of my breasts as he bent to kiss along my clavical and up under my chin.

"I need to be inside of you now," he said, growling low in my ear. He ran his hand up between my legs. "I need to feel you all around me. I want to savor every inch of your skin, every touch, every second."

"Edward, I love you, I love you," I whispered in his ear. I didn't know what else to say. This is exactly what I felt in every cell in my body, and these were all the words I could conceive. I kissed his forehead and then he kissed all down my neck, his hands stroking along my back, setting the curve of my spine on fire. Every place he touched came to life and waited for his touch to return.

"And I love you, my beautiful Bella," he said, running his hand down the front of me, the backs of his fingers trailing over my belly, down between my legs where he lightly drew the tips across my sensitive skin. I tensed, my body tightening up excitedly before he was even inside of me.

"Relax, sweetheart," he said, his nose gently rubbing along my ear. "Let me fill you."

I raised my eyes to his again and as he entered me, very slowly, I felt my entire body open to him in some whole new way. My flesh felt like some discardable shell, it fell away from consciousness like an idea already executed and done in the world. Pale light hovered around us, around his eyes, his face, straying in and out in the corner of my vision. All of the stars in the night sky exploded into droplets of color and the water itself became a vision of interlocking particles of light. It was all light, all around us. Even the darkness was light.

"Do you see this?" I cried.

"Yes," he whispered in my ear and then moved, rocking slowly inside of me, filling me utterly and completely.

And there we stayed, lost in this world of light created by the union of our hearts under the unfailing sky. It seemed like an age passed that we held each other in this way, naked and intertwined beneath the moon, considering the many lifetimes that we might share as husband and wife and all of the wild and wonderful things that might pass within them. In time, I felt like I'd ventured far beyond my bones, right into the hum of the universe itself and as that buzz grew in intensity, I began to clutch him, collapsing, a dark star fading back into the lines of creation. As I felt pulled back into my body, I cried out for him.

"Let go, Bella… I've got you. Right here," he said, holding me. And as I pulsed around him, he let go into the center of my ecstasy, filling me with his essence, shuddering beneath me as I throbbed over him. My body pulled his release all through me, his energy dispersed throughout my entire being.

"You've changed everything. Forever," I said, as I continued to hold him inside of me. "And I will always return to this, to you."

"And I will never leave," he said. "Whatever comes, you will always find me steadfast inside my devotion to you, my Bella."