Me: Nnnnghmpf…

Li: Don't mind her. She was just up most of the night working on a pointless thing.

Me: Mmghf…

Li: Once this chapter's posted, she's probably going to fall asleep on the couch. She doesn't own Avatar or Hetalia.

Me: Aangf…

Li: I'll let you get to the chapter now. 'Scuse me while I go get some Sharpies and whipped cream. Hehehe…

BUON COMPLEANNO, the banner read. Italy admired his work, the usual cheerful grin on his face. The date was March 17th, 2011, and he was officially one year older. So was his fratello, although neither showed the extra year. In fact, neither had appeared to have aged at all. It was one of the perks of being a nation.

But he wasn't thinking about how great it was to be a nation, with extended youth and the wealth of his people. Italy was thinking about how wonderful it was to be having a celebration with friends, and that it would be great to have his newest friend Li there. Of all the nations, Italy was perhaps the easiest to make friends with. He never saw the bad in people, or disliked anyone.

He was also regarded as the weakest, most useless, and worst friend a nation could have. Everyone said it—he was a coward, he was weak, he couldn't be trusted with secrets or anything important…and he even agreed. After all, he was just a silly boy who liked pasta and pizza! Everyone knew Italians were lovers, not fighters! Despite that, he kept being thrown into wars, when all he wanted to do was flirt with girls and paint pretty pictures!

Well, today was his birthday—his and his fratello's, even though they weren't twins. It was the day of the official unification of Italy. By all rights, there should only be one Italy now, but there was a distinct difference between the southern and northern parts of their country, like there was a difference between the east and west of Germany. It was how there could be an Italy Veneziano and an Italy Romano, and a Germany and a Prussia, instead of one of the two dying off. Technically, they were the same country—just representations of different parts.

"Hey! Veneziano!" Romano shouted, and the younger Italy brother stopped admiring his banner to look over at his brother. They were in the garden of their house, getting ready for the birthday party. Tables and chairs had already been set out, servers had been hired to work for the day, and guests were set to arrive in an hour or less.

"What is it, fratello?" Italy asked, unable to keep a large smile off his face. Today was a great day! Despite his brother's near-constant grumpiness, he himself was in a great mood. He wondered if he could get his fratello to smile too. That would be wonderful! His fratello didn't smile enough, and Hungary had always told Italy when he was younger that if you frowned your face would freeze that way. It would be horrible if Romano's face froze in a frown, although maybe it already had…no, it couldn't have! Romano smiled sometimes, though it was a really rare occurrence and only happened when girls were around…hey, maybe he would smile if some of the pretty girl-nations came to the party!

While Italy was thinking all this, Romano had been talking. He waited for a minute while his brother stared into the distance, slowly growing more and more annoyed, until he decided he'd given his little brother long enough to daydream. "Veneziano!" The older Italian screamed. "Did you hear a word I said?"

"Ve-? Ah, I'm so sorry fratello, I didn't!" Italy's eyes widened in panic. "Please forgive me! What were you talking about?"

"I was asking you to come and help me put the toppings on the pizza for later!" Romano grumbled. "Goddamnit Veneziano, why can't you just listen the first time I talk to you?"

"I was thinking about how nice it would be if you smiled, fratello!" Italy's smile widened, if that was at all possible, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Don't you think you should smile more, Romano? We wouldn't your face to freeze that way!"

"Want my face to freeze what way?" Romano demanded, striding over to his brother and grabbing him in a chokehold.

"Ahh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please stop it, I'm so sorryyyyy!"

Li took another drink of her Turkish-style tea, which she doubted was real tea at all, and fingered the two small boxes that held her presents for the Italy brothers. Upon hearing that birthdays here usually included the giving of presents, she had debated what she could give Italy and Romano that they would like, and that she could actually acquire in the night and morning it would take before she arrived at their house with Hungary, Turkey, and Greece. Realizing Li's dilemma, Hungary had immediately offered to take her to one of Turkey's markets.

Seeing as Li's hangover had yet to die down, they had been forced to retreat back to Turkey's house after only half an hour. Li hadn't found anything, and after asking Hungary to tell her about the kinds of gifts the Nations usually got each other, she was starting to wonder if maybe buying them something was the right thing to do after all. She wanted to give them something they could remember her by when Ru found her and they went home—she wanted to give them something uniquely Fire Nation. Both Italies had been kind to her, and Li liked them. Italy was her friend, and his brother…he…well…Romano was…Li supposed he was sort of a friend too, although it was hard to tell.

So she'd asked Hungary for a few supplies, and had made the brothers what she hoped would be an acceptable gift. There didn't seem to be any specific category for what would be an acceptable birthday present and what wouldn't be an acceptable birthday present, nor did Hungary have any specifications for what the Italies would accept. That made sense—Italy was just so sweet he'd probably find a way to make animal droppings out as a thoughtful and caring gift, and Romano would likely find something at fault with any gift he was presented with.

"We're here!" Hungary announced, stopping her car. She had taken the ferry with Li, Greece, and Turkey the previous night, and had apparently asked a human associate to drive her car to the ferry's harbor for her. That associate had taken a train back to Hungary's capital city of Budapest immediately afterwards, and had called Hungary at some unspiritual hour of the night to inform her of her safe return home. Once Hungary had managed to quiet Turkey, who was extremely angry that someone had woken him up, and persuaded Li that murder was not a good thing, despite the sudden loud noise in their somewhat small bunkroom on the ferry bringing back Li's headache, she had thanked her friend and gotten directions to her car.

"Finally! I was starting to worry we were never gonna get there." Turkey stretched, managing to jostle Greece's present in the process. "Oy, Greece! Wake up!"

"Mm…I am…awake…" Greece muttered, eyes opening slightly to glare at Turkey before closing again.

"Hey, this may be rude, but…why do you sleep so much?" Li twisted in her seat, the one next to Hungary's up front, to look back at Greece. "You do it a lot, and I don't think I've ever seen you anything but tired. Is it some sort of condition?"

"No…I'm just…thinking…" Greece explained, voice soft. "Like, just now…I was…debating Aristotle's impact…on modern science…" The name reference fell flat with Li, who had no idea who Aristotle was or what he had contributed to science. For all she knew, he was the man who first determined how to scientifically give humans gills. Of course, she hadn't seen or heard of gilled humans, but they could be a minority, or the victims of genocide…Well, basically, she didn't understand Greece.

"Okay then." She opted for casual acceptance, sure that if it was something important, she would hear about it sooner or later. Greece opened his car door, and pulled his gift out, struggling a bit with the immense weight. Turkey, whose gift was somewhat smaller, climbed out on Greece's side.

"We'll have to do some formal introductions to some of the other nations, Li." Hungary warned. "You'll get to speak to the others you'll be staying with, and virtually none of the Asians have spoken to you."

"Will Japan be here?" Li asked, struggling to open her door. She had forgotten how it operated, despite Hungary explaining it to her earlier. This world's technology was just hard for her to grasp…

"Maybe." Hungary reached across Li to open her door for her, then got out of the car herself. A sheepish Li followed suit. "Most nations try to attend another Nation's birthday, despite any turmoil in their own country at the time. It's just one of those things we try to do for each other—our kind is small in numbers, so we mostly know each other and try to be there for our comrades on important occasions like birthdays. From what I've heard, Japan's got a small situation with a nuclear power plant, so he might be a little burned, but try not to draw attention to it. He was wounded much more severely after the second World War, and he went about his business as normally as he could then, so he probably won't appreciate stares."

"I'll keep that in mind." Li nodded, wondering what "nuclear" power was. She knew about animal and machine power, steam power and heat power, and of course Bending power, but otherwise she had no idea what "nuclear" power could be, or what it entailed. And what did it have to do with burns? Was it a scientific way of talking about harnessing fire energy? Did it have something to do with what caused earthquakes?

The street outside of Italy's house had been filled with cars, presumably from other nations. Talking and singing could be heard from the garden, hidden by a tall brick wall. Several decorations with what was presumably the writing used in Italy had been strung up where Li could see, and there were likely more in the garden and the house proper.

Li glanced around the street before following the nations into Italy's house. She liked Rome, not just for the warm weather and beautiful architecture, but for the friendly and open atmosphere. Several normal humans were walking through the street, and when Li caught the eye of an older woman, the elder waved and smiled at Li, saying something in Italian that sounded like a greeting. Not knowing what to say, Li returned the smile and gave a traditional Fire Nation gesture of respect, extending her left hand straight up and placing her fisted right hand at its base. It was symbolic of a master and servant, with the servant bowing at the master's feet. Usually Li was the one receiving it, but she always tried to show respect to people she didn't know.

"Welcome." Seborga greeted Li as she entered the house. "Nice seeing you again. I'd have gone with a fake noose in a doorpost this time around, but Romano started yelling at me about freaking out the guests, so I couldn't. I'll take your presents."

"Sure, here." Li handed over the small, flat boxes to the nation—well, he'd introduced himself as a micronation upon their first meeting, so Li supposed he was supposed to be called that instead of simply "a nation." She wondered if there were personifications for specific regions or provinces. In her world, some people in the Earth Kingdom identified themselves by the name of the province they lived in, rather than their overall nation, simply because the sheer vastness of the Earth Kingdom made it impossible to know just where somewhere came from by their clothing and customs alone.

"The party's in the garden, but some of the other nations have managed to find their way to the rest of the house." Seborga advised Li. "Italy and Romano are socializing near the kitchen. We set up a buffet, and you can get something to snack there if you're hungry, but there's gonna be a huge meal later, so try to save your appetite. It's pasta, if you're wondering. And pizza."

"Okay, thanks." Li smiled at the younger nation, then made her way through the Italies' house to their garden. True to Seborga's word, there were two tables arranged in a "V" pattern in a corner of the garden, with various dishes arranged on them. They didn't all seem to be Italian foods, from what little Li had learned of their cuisine on her previous stay. Several small groups of nations were scattered around the garden, talking and laughing.

Li slipped off to one side, where there was a somewhat secluded bench in the shade. She didn't know the first thing about this world's politics, history, society, geography, not even the flora and fauna, for crying out loud! While the Nations were being polite to her, there was a huge gap between them that prevented her from really understanding them. It didn't even seem like any of them realized that, because they had to be reminded that Li didn't know what certain technologies were, or how some jokes were funnier than others to the different nations.

If Li had to pick one Nation that seemed to truly appreciate how difficult a time Li was having in cultures completely foreign to her own, she would have said it was Hungary. Lithuania was a close second, but in the two and a half weeks since her arrival, Li had had the most contact with Hungary. She'd called Lithuania a couple of times, and seen him in person twice since leaving Russia's house, but that was the extent of their contact. Maybe they could have a chat once he arrived. Hungary had drifted over to a yellow-haired—no, blond—nation in a pink shirt, and the two were giggling over a picture Hungary had in her hand. Brief curiosity made Li squint in their direction, hoping to get a glance of the picture despite the distance, but she quickly returned to people-watching—or perhaps Nation-watching was a better word.

While Hungary and the blond nation were giggling on the far side of the garden, Turkey and Greece were bickering over something while getting food from the buffet. The Italies were presumably around the corner of the house, near the kitchen door, waiting for more pasta to appear. Hadn't Seborga mentioned them socializing? Spain was probably with them, because he struck Li as the sort of person to show up early for social functions like this.

Some Nations with dark skin were laughing in a group by a large flowerbed, and Li watched them for a moment before looking away. The darkest skin she had ever seen before coming to this world was on Water Tribe members, a light brown tone that was nothing compared to the rich shades of some Nations. And if they were so colored, how must their people be? It was almost incomprehensible to Li, that there were people with skin so dark in this world, but apparently there were! Her own world, which once seemed so full of varieties of physical appearances, was starting to seem bland in comparison.

Sitting on a bench a ways away from Li were two other Nations, one looking to be a man in his early twenties or late teens, the other a slightly younger girl in a long-sleeved red dress. Both had the same haircut, although the girl was wearing a blue ribbon in her hair. They seemed slightly familiar to Li, but that was probably only because they had attended the meeting that took place upon Li's…arrival. Li tried not to be too obvious about looking at them, but the girl caught her eyes as both glanced at the other. Embarrassed at having been caught, they each looked away quickly, faces slightly red. The girl's companion asked her a question, and Li could hear her stuttering a reply.

Not far away, a man with darkly tanned skin seemed to be speaking to thin air. Li frowned as she watched him go on about something or the other, movements jerky and uncoordinated. A bottle in his hand gave her an inkling of why that might be. But was he really so drunk already that he would talk to nothing? How long had he been drinking? Was his alcohol tolerance as low as Li's was? If that was the case, he really shouldn't be drinking at all…

Meanwhile, Cuba was complaining to Canada about how terrible it was to deal with Canada's brother America. The Latino Nation occasionally forgot who he was talking to and attempted to take out his anger upon "America."

It was about half an hour before Li started to run out of things to look at. She found the Nations fascinating, of course, but she kept noticing flowers that she was fairly sure didn't exist her world, or ones that she knew did and helped to provide Li with some sense of stability in the chaos of everything that was going on. Other things captured her attention too: occasional singing, or voices raised in Italian, floated over the walls of the garden, and the house itself kept distracting Li with new features she had only just noticed.

So she didn't hear the old man until he was sitting beside her, leaning on his battered wooden cane and watching the Nations with interest. Li had yet to meet a Nation that appeared older than their mid-twenties, although it was hard to tell with Turkey's mask, so she assumed this man must be one of the staff hired for the day. That didn't make much sense, because who would hire an old man with a cane? Unless he was just a relative of someone working here, in which case Li supposed it was understandable that he might have come with a child or grandchild to assist however he could. After all, many of the servants in the Palace at the Fire Nation Capital were descended from other servants.

"Hello there, my dear." The old man greeted Li cheerily. "And how are you this fine afternoon?"

"I'm doing very well, sir." Li answered politely, trying not to be too obvious about shifting away. It wasn't that she had something against old people, or even this man in particular: she just didn't enjoy parties that much, and for some inexplicable reason, whenever she attended a party her "space bubble"—the minimum amount of space between her and another person that let Li feel comfortable—seemed to expand. There were certain people who weren't recognized by her space bubble, such as Ru and Li's little brother Kuzon, and once her elder brother Aizo, but that number seemed to be getting smaller as the war with the Tóngyī ShÌjiè went on. Although, perhaps Italy would be acceptable…

"The brothers throw a wonderful party, don't you think?" The old man continued, not seeming to notice Li's shifting. "I've always thought so. And Veneziano is such a wonderful artist! He has so many museums and art galleries…of course, that rapscallion France keeps taking Italy's paintings. Someone really ought to give him a talking-to one of these days. Not me, though. I'm afraid I'm getting old. Terrible occurrence, it is. You spend your youth thinking you'll be forever young, strong, and beautiful, up until the day your body aches with every movement and your skin is wrinkled and you realize infants are suddenly adults."

"I'm afraid I can't relate, sir." Li managed to widen the distance between them by turning to face the old man. "After all, I'm still young myself. Maybe if you ask me in twenty or thirty years, I'll understand better."

"Nonsense! That's no time at all for a Nation!" The old man laughed, exposing somewhat yellowed teeth. His head was almost entirely bald, and his skin seemed to be covered in liver spots. He had amber-yellow eyes similar to Italy's, and like the upper class of the Fire Nation tended to have, and his eyebrows were a deep black that completely contradicted the wispy white strands around his scalp.

"Oh, I'm not a Nation, sir." Li corrected him hastily, not wanting to give him the impression she was lying if he found out the truth later. "I'm only a human. The Nations…well, they seem to have acquired me somehow, and I'm working as Austria's maid until I can find a better job. At least, I'm supposed to be Austria's maid, but with his home destroyed, I suppose I'm temporarily out of work until it's finished."

"So you're Li, then?" The old man fixed a steady, appraising eye on the young woman. Li, having received similar treatment from government officials and military officers before, sat still and let him take in what he could. His eyes noticed her short hair, somewhat unruly still since she had taken a nap in Hungary's car on the way to Rome, and the uneven nails on Li's hands from her clumsy attempts at handling nail clippers by herself. The eyes moved to take in her posture, hands folded on her lap as she looked slightly down and away from the elder in a show of deference to his assumed superior wisdom. He studied her face, which Li tried to keep as blank as possible. She wasn't very good at hiding her emotions: her friends could read her like an open book.

Eventually, he closed his eyes and nodded. "Well, yes, I suppose you'll do." He tapped a finger against his wooden cane, and gave Li an approving smile. "I must say, I do like your eyes, child. They're very sincere. You couldn't lie to someone without giving it away, could you?"

"No…I suppose I can't…" Li tried to keep her eyes averted, afraid this old man would see something in them she didn't want him to know. "I always get caught whenever I try to lie about something. Guess I just don't have it in me to lie, huh?"

"My dear, that's a blessing in disguise." The old man advised her. "You have little ability for deceit, and thus you cannot very well sin through deceit. The Lord has granted you this so that you might be free from the Prince of Lies' evil whispers."

"Um…well, I've been a fugitive until recently." Li sighed. "I had to be deceitful to survive. It really didn't seem like a blessing then."

"Ah, but you did survive, did you not?" The old man smiled at Li. "Praise the Lord, for he has kept you safe through adversity!"

"Hey, Li's here!" Italy's voice hit Li's ears, and the girl looked up to see Italy charging towards her. She had the presence of mind to stand up and brace herself as roughly a hundred and fifty pounds of enthusiastic Italian collided with a hundred and twenty pound Firebender. Neither of them wound up on the ground, but Li fell back onto the seat heavily. Italy wound up between her and the old man, arms wound around Li in an enthusiastic hug.

"Ow…hi Italy…" Li giggled a bit, returning the hug quickly before patting Italy on the head and drawing back. He let go of her a bit reluctantly, and produced a bun out of nowhere.

"Hungry?" He offered it to Li, who accepted out of politeness and took a bite. She suspected it might have been Italy's cooking, because it tasted homemade and seemed to have tiny bits of tomatoes embedded in it. "Why are you sitting over here, Li? Don't you wanna hang out with the rest of us? Germany's almost here, Prussia and Romano were texting a little bit ago and fratello told me! Well, actually he started swearing and yelling at me for inviting Germany in the first place, but anyways, Germany's almost here!"

"Italy!" The old man spoke, putting a hand on the young Nation's shoulder. "You should not be so forward with a young woman like that. Please remember your manners. Miss Li, I am so sorry, he is like this very often."

"But Vaticaaaaan!" Italy protested, face falling. Li started—this was the Vatican? He was much different from what she had expected. Such as…well, she'd pictured him as having more hair. And looking taller.

It occurred to Li that she hadn't been showing the personification of the capital of one of this world's major religions the respect he was due. Hungary had told her that the different Nations had different feelings about the Vatican City, some quite strongly, and Li had been agonizing over meeting him during her stay at the Italies'. Due to some unspecified reason, he'd been confined to his bed all through her stay, so she'd been unable to pay her respects. The Italies never brought him up in conversation, and Li wasn't sure if they would take offense if she did, so she hadn't discussed him with his housemates.

All of this passed through her mind in the second it took her to push Italy far enough away for her to stand up and bow. "I'm so sorry for my disrespect!" Li cried. "Please forgive me, Vatican, sir! I didn't realize it was you!"

"Hm? Oh, you've been very polite, Miss Li, don't worry." The Vatican waved a hand. "I've rather enjoyed our conversation, however short it was. But since Italy apparently wishes to speak to you, I'll just return to my room and read an essay on the nature of the Transfiguration. I hope you enjoy the party."

"Um…" Li blinked as the Vatican stood and walked away. "It was…nice to…meet…you?" The Nation half-turned and waved, then continued on his way. Italy, sitting on the bench, didn't seem at all perturbed by the exchange. Li glanced down at him. "Is he always like that?"

"Like what, Li?" Italy asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Like…well…that?" Li shrugged. "I'm not sure how to describe it…he just seemed…sort of…grandfatherly?" That didn't quite describe the impression she'd gotten from the Vatican, but Li wasn't sure how else to put it. He was the kind of man Li would expect to know all the answers back home, either because he was a learned man or a sage. If you presented him with an issue, he would immediately have an answer. And it would follow his personal morality, even if every bone in your body screamed he was wrong, and he would not back down from his answer.

"Oh, that's just how he is." Italy smiled. "He's mostly inhabited by really old men who have high positions in the Catholic Church, so he has some really strong ideals. We haven't been getting along that much lately, though…" Italy's words were cut off as there was a loud screeching from the street, followed by the slam of several car doors and some very loud yelling. Li couldn't understand the words, but it sounded vaguely familiar…

"Bruder, du fahrst nicht mehr! Du fahrst wie ein Italienischer!"

"Wir sind in Italien, West! Auß erdem war es nur ein paar Mülltonnen!"

"What's—?" Li began, but Italy leaped up and hugged her again.

"Ve~! Germany's here!"

Me: Oh look, Germany's here. I won't translate the German, because it might take away from next week's chapter. Hope you liked the chapter. Review and tell me what you think!