Happy New Year! I hope all your wishes come true!
Chapter 26 - Reminiscing
CPOV
I got a hangover, wo-oh!
I've been drinking too much for sure
I got a hangover, wo-oh!
I got an empty cup, pour me some more
I can't believe what I'm seeing. My beautiful and very drunk wife is happily dancing around in the kitchen with my equally drunk sister. Ana is wearing a pajama and Mia is in jeans and a t-shirt.
They are now trying to get on the barstool but failing miserably. It is accompanied with a lot of giggles and laughter until they finally give up.
"Sssst" Ana places her finger up to her lips urging her to be silent. "Christian has supersonic hearing…" She hiccups.
"We…we…still have five Copsmo…conmo…" Mia is trying really hard to say Cosmopolitan. She is looking from the cocktails on the bar to Ana until they fall in another fit of laughter.
"There are…six…six more Mia…" Ana claps her hands and takes an enormous sip of her cocktail grimacing when she swallows the liquor.
"Come on…let's dance sis…" Mia takes Ana by her hand and they both stumble to their feet and start jumping and dancing around.
so I can go until I blow up, eh
and I can drink until I throw up, eh
and I don't ever ever want to grow up, eh
I want to keep it going, keep keep it going, going, going, going…
Ana stops dancing and I see her eyes twinkling with mischief. "I have a great idea…"
Mia nods enthusiastically. She is fond of ideas. "Why don't we do some shots…" Yeah why don't you?
"Having fun ladies?" I am standing at the door with my arms crossed in front of my chest.
"Ugh Christian… please put some clothes on…" Mia says makes a gagging sound and looks as if she has swallowed something bitter.
"I am wearing boxer shorts Mia…and I am in my own home…" I say raising my eyebrow.
"He is such a party pooper…" Mia nudges Ana almost making her fall to the side.
"Party pooper…party pooper…" Ana repeats after Mia. "I like the word party pooper…" She giggles.
Her eyes focus on me as if she is realizing now that I am standing there. "Hi hubby…" She says happily. Hubby? What the fuck?
"Mia. I think you need to go to sleep…" She blinks a few times with those brown drowsy eyes and then watches the cocktails lined up at the counter.
"But I miss Ethan…" She pouts. "And the nurse was a total bitch…"
"You can visit Ethan in the morning and from what mom told me he is going to be released tomorrow…so I think it is best that you go to bed and sleep…it was a long day…"
"But I still haven't finished my drinks!" She blinks again a few times and looks at me as if I have grown three fucking heads.
"Now Mia!" I point with my finger up the stairs. Surprisingly she doesn't argue this time. She kisses Ana on her cheek and waves her goodbye.
Ana waves back giggling and with a sigh she turns around, slightly wobbling to face the Cosmo's.
"Don't you think you've had enough to drink Ana?" I start walking to the breakfast bar, where Ana is still standing with her back turned towards me.
"I only had…" She seems to think about it…her brow is furrowed. "I only had two glasses of wine with dinner…" She holds two fingers in the air right in front of my face.
"That's right. But if I remember correctly, and trust me I do…you didn't eat much during that dinner…" I chastise her.
"Yeah well…" She twirls a strand of her hair between her fingers and she reminds me of Melissa with her I- don't- care- attitude. "The pasta was slimy…" She scrunches her nose and then continues… "And the soup…" She shudders at the thought. Her hand moves to grab one of the Cosmo's but I'm faster. Taking her hand I tug at it and pull her towards me. "What were you doing up anyway?"
"I couldn't sleep…" She whisper yells. "And then I stepped out of bed really carefully…" She hiccups. "I remember you were snoring…" She nods her head emphasizing it.
"I don't snore…"
"Yes you do…like this…" Then she scrunches her nose again and starts making this horrible sound. Impossible that I would make such a ridiculous sound.
"It's kind of cute you know..." Fuck with the cute already.
"No, really you were really, really cute…" She giggles and continues her eyes looking droopy. "And you were drooling…" Christ, she is wasted.
"Why couldn't you sleep?" I bury my head in her neck and kiss her. "Christian…you are tickling me…" She giggles.
"So?"
"So what?" She is trying to push me away but when she fails her hands sneaks up to my dick and she takes a firm hold of it. "Wow…wow…that's attached you know…"
"I know…" She snorts and leans her head against my chest her hand falls limb along her body. Well damn.
"Ana. You haven't answered my question yet…"
"I don't remember your question…" She says sleepy.
"Do you want me to take you to bed?"
Ana just nods and lets me carry her to our bedroom. In just two minutes she is out like a light.
I have no idea how much time has passed when I wake up from a sound coming from the bathroom. Shit! Did Ana get sick? Jumping out of bed I make my way to the bathroom as soon as possible to find Ana lying in the cold tiles.
"Ana…what are you doing?" I say crouching next to her. "Come let me take you back to bed…"
"Go away…" She swats her hand against my knee and turns her head to look at the other side.
"Come on Ana…you are going to get sick…"
"I am never drinking again…ever…"
"Of course you're not…" I mutter. I then lift her up from the floor and carry her back to bed. And again it only takes her a few minutes before she is out like a light.
"Want to go somewhere nice today?" I smirk as I see Ana struggling to eat her yoghurt.
"Don't you have work to do?" She almost sounds hopeful.
"I do actually."
"I wanted to relax for a while, maybe read a little and I still have some e-mails I have to reply to…" She admits. "But if you want to do something…" She shrugs and takes a sip from her tea.
"I have never seen you drinking tea before…" I say pointing at the mug in her hands. She shrugs and brushes the hairs away from her face. "I think this is actually the first time that I didn't feel like drinking coffee…"
"How are you feeling?" After placing her tea back on the breakfast bar she slides her small hand across the counter and places her hand on mine.
"I'm fine. My mom called me this morning to check up on me. She is going to visit later with dad and Melissa to see with her own eyes if I'm not lying."
"You aren't lying are you Christian? Because you are still coughing."
"I am not lying promise. I feel really good…"
"I'm sorry that I got drunk yesterday…" Ana hops from her stool and stands in between my legs. "It's just that I couldn't sleep and I got up to get something to drink and that's where I found Mia in the kitchen. I offered her milk and she said she needed something stronger…I suppose I decided to join her…"
"Ethan called. They have released him this morning. He is now in his apartment, apparently his mother was freaking out. She wanted to check first if he had enough to eat at the apartment. Anyway, he is going to pick her up later this afternoon. He sounded nervous…" I gather Ana in my arms and walk with her to the great room where I sit on the couch with Ana in my lap.
"Do you happen to know why he sounded so nervous?"
"I think I do…" She lifts her head and kisses my cheek. "But that's not my story to tell Christian. Just try to keep an open mind okay?" I don't like the sound of that.
"Did you talked to Mia?" Ana asks while we make our way to my study.
"It wasn't talking what we did. Mia isn't really a morning person either, so she grabbed coffee and a granola bar and took of the hospital to see Ethan…"
We spend the rest of the morning in my study where I make different phone calls while Ana lays on the couch reading. She looks incredibly relaxed while she is reading and so damn beautiful.
"Don't you need to work?" Ana says without looking away from her book.
"I rather look at you…"
Smiling Ana closes her book and places it on the floor next to her. "Come here…" She says patting the couch. "At what time were your parents coming again?" She asks when I am lying next to her.
"In a couple of hours…" I kiss her nose, her cheek and then her pouty lips. "How are you feeling?"
"Good…" She says huskily. Her fingers crawl under my t-shirt and she starts making little circles with her fingers on my chest.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure…now take off your clothes…" She is tugging at my shirt and then her hand slides down to my crotch were my dick is straining against the material of my sweat pants.
I smile at her and slowly stand from the couch and start undressing. Her eyes are focused on my dick when I drag my sweat pants and boxers down my legs and my cock springs free.
Bringing Ana to a sitting position I pull her shirt over her head. Her full breasts fall free, her nipples already hard. I then start pulling at the waist of her yoga pants, encouraging her to lift her ass. I draw them down her long legs taking her white lace panty with them.
"You are beautiful Anastasia…" I skim with my finger along her stomach down to her sex. "Are you wet Ana?" Biting her lip she nods her head.
APOV
Watching Christian getting undressed is like unwrapping a Christmas present. The flexing of the muscles on his arms and chest have me almost drooling. My eyes are automatically drawn to his erection.
I want to touch him so bad. No, I need to touch him. However Christian isn't in any hurry right now. He takes his time undressing me too. He opens my legs with both hands and sits on his knees. His fingers skim from my stomach to my sex.
"Are you wet Ana?"
I just nod and close my eyes when he teasingly starts dragging his fingers along my sex.
"I am desperate to be inside you…" Christian's voice sounds hoarse. He leans down and crawls above me. My thighs are spread by his knee and he positions himself between them, his forearms resting on both sides of my head. When he looks down with those enthralling soft gray eyes I can almost cry.
"Don't run from me again after we fight baby…please…" He tells me softly yet with a firm edge to his voice.
I shake my head and reach with my arms to his shoulders.
"Answer me Anastasia…please answer me…" The tip of his erection is nudging at my entrance.
"I won't…I promise." I manage to speak. And I mean it.
He closes his eyes briefly and lets out a little sigh. When he reopens them again relief flickers through them. Slowly Christian draws back and then he drives forward, burying himself deeply into me. We both moan. The fullness is incredible and amazingly good. Adjusting my grip on his arms I shift under him. Christian blows out a long and controlled breath and that's when I see that his brow is shiny with sweat on his forehead.
"I missed you baby…" He closes his eyes and drops his fore head against mine. His breathing is erratic. After a few moments he lift his head back up and looks at me. I am so in love with him.
"You have no idea how worried I was…" Leaning on his arms, he pulls back and slowly buries himself in me again.
I moan and widen my legs to give him better access to get deeper. He keeps repeating his. He pulls back and drives forward. Slowly…measured…and controlled.
"And I will always protect you…I will always keep you safe…" He moans in my ear. Moving his head back up he brushes his lips against mine. He starts kissing me. His tongue matches the lazy movements of his hips.
I whimper against his skin and rock my hips to meet his thrusts. My nails are digging into his shoulders as I try to hold back my orgasm.
"Does this feel good Ana?"
"Very…" I moan.
"Are you ready" He asks against my lips.
This time I just nod and push my feet against his backside.
"Then let it go baby…"
My body shudders and shakes when I am hit with my release. Christian stills my moans by kissing me. He then thrusts deep for the last time and it is followed by a jerk of his body. With his eyes clenched shut he moans low and long.
"Fuck, I love you Ana…" He whispers and buries his face in the crook of my neck. With a last kiss he rolls back on his side. Immediately I move into his warm, firm chest and rest my cheek just above his heart.
"You are the best hangover cure ever…" I giggle against his chest. Moments later I hear Christian's laughter bubbling up from his chest to a full out laugh.
"I am glad I could be of assistance Mrs. Grey…" His eyes then turn this shade darker and quickly stands up from the couch.
"Since that worked so well for you…let's do round two…" Christian extends his hand and pulls me off the couch pulling me flush against his chest.
"Round two?" I glance down at his growing erection and then slowly back at him. He smirks and guides me gently towards his desk.
A few hours later our great room is filled with people. Grace, Carrick, Melissa, Ethan and Mia. I have never seen Grace looking so mad before. She is constantly giving Christian the evil eye as she sits across from us. It is even making me nervous.
"Christian darling, I want to listen to your lungs for a minute…" Grace says and stands up from the couch.
"Mom I am all right I promise." Christian tries to reassure her.
"I don't think I asked Christian…" Grace is standing with her bag in her hand waiting for Christian to stand up from the couch.
"Ana darling, would you like to accompany Christian…because he is going to need it." She murmurs the last sentence under her breath but it is clearly a small threat. Carrick snickers and Melissa grins. Yeah, I heard her correct.
"Sit" Grace orders the moment we enter our bedroom. Christian meekly follows Grace orders and sits on the edge of the bed. I see him swallowing and I have to suppress a grin when I sit on one of the chairs.
Christian's eyes are huge when he watches Grace opening her bag. I would be afraid too, that thing is black, intimidating and huge. And we all know what's in it. Scary doctor's things.
"Take off your shirt Christian, I would like to listen to your lungs…" Grace says matter of fact.
Grace takes a seat next to Christian on our bed and I see her eyes turning sad when Christian takes of his shirt and his scars get visible.
"How are you feeling Christian?" Her voice sounds a lot softer now and she places her hand on Christian's shoulder.
"I'm feeling good mom, I don't think…"
"I think we already have established that sometimes you don't think much. So I'll suggest that you let me do the thinking right now."
"Yes mother…" Christian sighs and quickly glances at me.
"Did you use the inhaler?"
"No, I didn't need it…"
"Are you experiencing any shortness of breath?"
"No…" Christian looks at me again and smirks. I know exactly that he is referring to our time in his study. I just look down at my hands and pray that the blush that is spreading across my face and neck will disappear before Grace notices.
"Are you ready Christian?" Grace asks and I see the uncertainty reflected in her eyes. She never touched his bare chest. This is probably going to be the first time.
She hesitates briefly and places the stethoscope on her son's chest. Both take a deep breath. Christian is staring at the distance while Grace listens intently. She moves the stethoscope several times and then I hear sniffling.
"Mom…mom what's wrong?" Christian is holding his mother by her upper arms and staring at her face. Grace doesn't respond. The sniffling is turning into full blown sobs.
"Mom…you are scaring me…" Christian whispers and pulls his mother against his chest.
Grace then starts whispering. She has her hands on Christian's shoulders her head resting on his collarbone. "Mom, it doesn't hurt anymore…its okay…"
Watching my husband consoling and comforting his mother is heartbreaking. He then takes her hand and places it against his chest. "See mom…it doesn't hurt…I'm sorry mom…please don't cry…"
This is such an intense moment for both of them that I decide to give them some privacy. While the tears starts falling from my eyes I quietly sneak out of the room.
CPOV
My mother can't stop crying. She has her hand still placed on my chest. I don't know what to say or what to do. I just feel so terribly guilty that I never gave her the chance to touch me. I grab the handkerchief from my pocket and try to dab away her tears.
"You were such a brave little boy." Taking the handkerchief from my hands, she starts dabbing the tears from her face and gives me a watery smile.
I hate talking about that time, hell I even hate thinking about that time, but I guess she needs this. She needs to let this out. "You never cried…and you changed your bandages by yourself…I just guided you and you did exactly as I told you…" She pats my face lovingly and sighs.
"You didn't like the ointment…" She is right, I didn't. I never told her that but it just smelled wrong.
"I think you didn't like the smell, because you would always scrunch up your nose when I gave you the tube."
"You are right…I didn't like it. And it stung…"
"I know…" My mother admits sadly. "But it was necessary…you were so bruised and scared…"
"Mom, it was a long time ago…" Please let it go.
"Your father tried to track him down you know…" She says ignoring me.
"Tried to track who down mom?"
"The man who did this to you Christian…" I am momentarily dumbstruck. I never knew that my dad tried to find this son of a bitch.
"Even though you never shared with us what happened, it was clear that you had been living a nightmare…when your father saw your bruises and scars…" My mother is staring into the distance tears brimming in her eyes. "Your dad when he first saw your wounds, he needed a moment…he couldn't handle it at first."
I don't know what to say. I never knew this. They never told me. So I just hold my mom tighter and kiss the top of her head. "I always felt safe with you…" I murmur against her head. "The first time you came to see me when I was in that hospital room I thought you were an angel…dressed in white and your smile was so genuine and sweet…"
"You never told me that…" She whispers and moves so that she can look at me. I shrug and brush my hands through my hair.
"I remember when you and dad brought me home and Elliot was waiting there with grandma and Grandpa Trevelyan…Elliot was running and talking really fast and loud." My mother laughs softly. "Yes, your brother was never really good at using his inside voice…"
"He is a good brother though…" I admit. "Never tell him that mom!" I add joking.
"He knows…"
I don't know how long we sit there reminiscing. But I liked it that is until my mother's face turns serious again. With a kiss on my fore head she stands from the bed and straightens her sweater.
"I need you to promise me something Christian…"
"I think that Ethan came here today with a reason and all I want to ask from you is to keep an open mind…he is a lovely young man…"
What the hell is she talking about? "Is there something I should know mother?"
"It's just a feeling I have…but keep an open mind…"
Once again I find myself sitting in my study. This time without Ana, but with my parents, Elliot and Ethan.
Ethan has been acting strange this entire afternoon, but I blame the medication he is on. There is a sheen of sweat covering his face and it seems that he can't stop moving his right leg up and down.
Elliot and Megan just arrived fifteen minutes ago. So the girls are now in the great room why we are watching Ethan sweating bullets.
"Ethan darling are you feeling all right?" My mom asks. She doesn't look or sound very concerned though. I believe there is a lightness in her undertone.
"Yes, yes I'm fine…" Ethan lifts his face and stares at the four of us. He clears his throat and wipes his hands on his jeans.
"I would like to marry your daughter Grace, Carrick…" Ethan blurts out. I quickly look at my mom and dad and I can't fucking believe that they are acting this cool and relaxed. My mother has a small smile playing on her mouth and my dad…well he doesn't look mad…he looks pensive. He should be mad!
My dad nods his head once and stares at Ethan. He is not going to make this easy for him. Let's enjoy this.
I don't know if my dad finally feels sorry for Ethan after five excruciatingly long minutes of silence but then finally he clears his throat. Elliot grins at me and wiggles his eyebrows.
"Ethan, I could give you the whole what are your intentions toward my daughter speech."
"You're not?" Elliot whines. With one glance of my mother we both lean back against the couch. Well shit.
"I heard it from Grace's father and I remember every word of it. But Mia is a grown woman. You seem to really love her, and she is crazy about you. So I think you two will be fine." My dead shifts on the sofa and leans with his elbows on his knees. His penetrating blue eyes never leaving Ethan's nervous ones. "But I will tell you this, if you ever hurt my daughter…her crazy ass brothers will be the least of your worries. So you take care of her and make her happy and you and I will have no problems what so ever."
"Yes, Carrick…" Ethan wants to smile, but I think that he is too afraid. Instead some weird shaky smile stretches across his face.
"When are you going to ask her?" My mother asks sniffing. I roll my eyes. Jesus Christ. "Mom, shouldn't cry…she should be fucking celebrating…" Elliot whispers in my ear.
"Mia still needs to get back to Paris to get some personal stuff she still has there. I am going to join her and plan in asking her then…"
"Oh that is so romantic…" My mom gushes. My dad grunts something unintelligible and gets to his feet. "Come on Gracie, Mel needs to go to school tomorrow…"
"Yeah, I should be heading home too…" Ethan says standing quickly from his seat.
"Sit!" Elliot and I both say simultaneously. Slowly Ethan sits back down confusion marrying his face.
Did he really think this was going to be this easy?
"Good luck son and welcome to the family…" My dad grins at him and claps his shoulder. Before leaving my study he winks at us.
Filling us all a glass of scotch I hand one to Ethan and Elliot. I watch Ethan while I take a sip.
"So, you are really serious about marrying our sister?" I start.
"Yeah, man. I told you I love her…Mia is…"
"A pain in the ass…" Elliot says.
"Mia is loyal, sweet, bubbly, incredibly beautiful…" Ethan says cutting him off.
"And a pain in the ass…" Elliot says again.
"Sometimes… yeah. But that makes her Mia I guess…it is the whole package I fell in love with." Ethan shrugs.
"You know…if I ever find out that you hurt her. I will kill you…" I say looking at him.
"My shithead brother over here has people who do those things for him…" Elliot points with his thumb in my direction and shrugs. "And I happen to own a construction company…you have no idea how creative I can be with concrete."
Ethan is looking extremely uncomfortable and is watching us both closely. "So, a little resume: You hurt Mia, I kill you and Elliot gets rid of your body…"
"I won't hurt her man…I love your sister…"
"Good, then welcome to the family…" I guess mom has another wedding to plan.
Half an hour later we decide to sit with the girls. Entering the great room they all fall silent. Ana however has her hand in front of her mouth and her shoulders are moving up and down. Is she crying?"
But then I look at Mia and see her hunched over clutching her stomach. When she sits back up I see that she is laughing uncontrollably. Megan is grinning and blushing like crazy.
"Something funny ladies?" Elliot asks and slumps down next to his wife.
"Actually…" Mia starts laughing again. Eventually she calms down but when she looks at Elliot she starts laughing again.
"Oh fuck you told them what happened at the doctor's office?" Elliot says looking at Megan his eyes almost bulging from his face.
"I'm sorry…" Megan laughs. "But it was just too funny…"
"Oh my gosh you have to tell the guys…" Mia says falling into another fit of laughter. Ana is also wiping the tears from her face.
"Oh god yes please you have to tell this…" Ana adds giggling.
The girls are laughing and wiping the tears from their faces when my brother starts talking.
"First you have to know that I went there with the idea that the OB/GYN would be a woman…but to my fucking surprise it turns out to be a guy…a young guy…" Elliot is waving his hands in the air like a crazy person. I lean back and drape my arm around Ana's shoulders. I think I am going to enjoy this.
"Elliot, Dr. Torrey is returning this Monday from her holiday…" Megan says patting his thigh.
"Whatever baby…" Elliot is pissed off. "Anyway…" Elliot brushes his hands through his hair and shakes his head. "Do you have any idea what an OB/GYN does?" He looks at Ethan and then back at me. We both shake our heads. It can't be that bad now can it?
"First the smug motherfucker tells my wife to undress from the waist down…and here I was thinking that we were going to get an ultrasound and watch our little muffin…but no of course not…and my wife over here starts undressing like it is the most normal thing in the world…" He huffs annoyed and squints his eyes at Ethan who is grinning.
"I guess I got a little nervous so I started playing with a plastic vagina thingy the guy had on his desk…and I don't know how it happened but my fingers got stuck…" Elliot shrugs lamely and sighs. "But they were like really stuck you know…it was like I was having a jolly good time with that vagina thingy, but hell I think this was the first time I was mortified in having my fingers stuck in a pussy... Megan was looking at me as if I had lost my fucking mind and the good doctor was shaking his head…and I was still stuck!"
"When Elliot finally managed to pull his fingers out he sat down next to me and he was completely silent…"
"Wow…" I say.
"Yeah…I know…" Megan says smiling.
"Part of the exam is a breast check…" My eyes grow wide as I listen horrified to Megan's story. Holy mother of shit I don't know if I would have let a male doctor touch my wife's tits. Nah, scratch that I wouldn't have let him. Those are my tits…not his.
"Can you fucking believe that the guy touched my wife's tits!" Elliot yells. "And don't you fucking laugh Christian, because it wasn't a little touch…fuck no, he was like touching and touching and I swear to god I was ready to rip his head off…"
"Elliot then told him in a not so very nice way, that enough was enough with the boob touching…" Megan says. Megan has her face covered with her hands. Probably mortified at the memory of Elliot's little outburst.
We are all cracking up when Elliot continues. "Fuck it was hell in there. Finally they guy stops touching Megan's boobs and he produces a wand out of nowhere…I mean that thing was huge…It looked like a horse dick man…" Even though I am laughing my ass off I can imagine how he must have felt. Another man touching your woman I not something I would appreciate or tolerate for that matter.
"What did he do with the wand?" Elliot says dumbly. The girls roll their eyes at his remark. I am actually glad he was the one to ask this because I don't know either.
"Ana, I didn't like Elliot's story…" I say pouting.
"What do you mean? You couldn't stop laughing Christian!"
"Let us set a few rules here. One, no man is touching your boobs. I am the only one who is entitled in touching them." Ana looks at me through the mirror while she is brushing her teeth. I bet she wants to roll her eyes. "Two, no man is going to put a horrible medieval wand into your pussy…"
Yup, cue the eye rolling. The fucking eye rolling.
"And three?" Ana is looking at me with her hands on her hips and one of her eyebrows raised. Fuck, I don't like it when she challenges me like this, because she always wins.
"There is no three…" I mutter. Actually there is a three and that is that I am entitled in kicking his ass if her OB/GYN turns out to be a guy.
Lying in bed with my wife while holding her in my arms is probably one of my favorite moments of the day.
"I talked to your parents today for a little while…" Ana is drawing little circles with her finger on my chest.
"What about?"
"About…Ella…" When I don't reply Ana moves and looks up at me. "I thought we discussed this Christian?"
"We did Ana…it's just that I…I mean I have never been back to Detroit. I loathe that place it is filled with so many horrible memories."
"I will go with you, I won't leave you alone. We will do it together." Ana is right. I can do this with her. We can fly over there visit her grave and then fly back to Seattle the same day.
"Your dad told me that he has all the information you need in a file…" She pauses briefly and takes a breath. "Your mother also mentioned that there is still a box with Ella's personal belongings…the few ones she owned that is…"
"I don't want it…"
"Why not Christian? You told me that there was a diary, maybe she mentions in that diary how she ended up in Detroit or in that position. Maybe there is mentioning about your birth father…" The longer Ana talks the faster my heart beats. Doesn't she understand that I don't want anything to do with my past? Doesn't she know that I don't even know how to deal with it?
"My birthfather was just the sperm donor Ana…" I say a little terser than I mean.
"I know how you feel about him…"
"Then why do you keep rehashing this?" I snap.
"Because it can give you closure Christian. You have this idea that you were unwanted and unloved…but I somehow have the idea that it isn't the case at all."
"And what if you are wrong and I am right?" I reply stubbornly.
"What do you have to lose? And it's not to replace Carrick or Grace, because they can't be replaced. They took you in, adopted you and loved you unconditionally. It is like with my dad's. Neither of them can't be replaced, but you have no idea how much it means to me that Frank really loved me and wanted me. I understand you better than you think Christian…" She says and she sounds tired and defeated.
"Will you arrange with Andrea to clear my schedule to visit Detroit?" I ask her and pull her closer to me. Ana nods and wraps her arm around my waist.
"I don't want to know the details."
"When do you want to go?" She says silently.
"I don't care. Just arrange it I will be there…"
Ana tenses in my arms but I decide to ignore it. I can't deal with that right now. The idea of going to Detroit makes me anxious as hell.
"You don't need to do it for me Christian…" Ana says irritated. "Look just forget it. If you want I will arrange everything for you, but not unless you really want it."
Untangling herself from me Ana turns around and switches off the light. Great. Now I pissed her off again.
"I'm sorry Ana…it is just too much. Let me think about it okay?" I whisper into the dark.
"It's okay Christian…sleep. It will be okay I promise." Ana places the sweetest kiss on my chest and snuggles closer. It will be okay. It has to be okay.
A/N.: I want to thank you all for the amazing support I received with the last chapter. You have no idea what that means to me. So thank you all for all the amazing, sweet and thoughtful reviews and PM's. You guys are truly amazing!
Sending you all a big hug!