Legato
Legato, (adv and adj): In Italian, "tied together." Indicates that musical notes are to be played or sung smoothly, without breaks between notes.
Yamato walked down a series of hospital halls, following signs to Eimi's room number. Eventually, he found Taichi leaning against a wall, staring at his cell phone. When Yamato approached, he pocketed the device and grinned. The smile did little to mask his fatigue, and Yamato swallowed a comment about his appearance (a succinct comparison to bodily waste).
"Yamato," Taichi sighed. He pulled him in for a one-armed hug, and Yamato grunted and pretended it was unwelcome when he really wanted to embrace him properly. He angled himself so the flowers he carried wouldn't be squished.
"Thanks for coming. It's been way too lo- oh god, flowers. Why didn't any of us think of that? We're a bunch of damned idiots." Taichi scowled at the bouquet, as if it had shown him up.
Yamato shrugged. "You didn't have time, and there's no way Koushiro's going to remember something like that. And who do you think you are, thanking me for coming?"
Taichi winced. "Sorry. It's just…" He shook his head, then blinked. "Wait- aren't you touring?"
"No. It's finally over." Yamato neglected to mention that rather than riding the bus home with the rest of his band, he had flown here at his own expense. He was desperate to see Sora and Takeru, but they had tearfully asked him to check on Eimi first. So here he was, trying to maintain his normal expression when he really wanted to pin Taichi to the wall and force some sense into him. No matter how much Eimi needed him, he still had to eat and shower and keep his shit together. The man stank, and his hair was so haphazard that it evoked his high school cut.
But that could wait. Yamato nodded towards the open door and asked, "How is she doing?"
Taichi sighed and ran a hand down his face, pulling down his bottom eyelids. A network of bright red lines scored his sclera. "Who the hell knows. She's hooked up to five different bags and machines, but everything is puppies and fucking roses."
"Would you expect anything else?" Yamato shrugged, but his scowl deepened. "What are the doctors saying?" And though the answer was obvious, he added, "How are you holding up?"
Taichi dropped a hand on Yamato's shoulder, and the bassist wondered if he meant to lean on him so heavily. "God, Yamato. It's been hell. They weren't sure she would wake up, then they weren't sure if her organs were damaged… Now they say she'll recover, but it could take up to a year. I swear they've scanned and poked all over. If I were her, I'd be clawing at anything in a white coat."
Yamato tilted his body to better support both his weight and Taichi's, a difficult task when he was trembling. He had suspected that something was off with Eimi when she called for help with Takeru's song, but he never could have predicted that health failure was on the horizon. Guilt spiked, but he beat it down, choosing to focus on the problem at hand. "I came as soon as I could. Sora can't stop worrying until she has a report from me."
Taichi grinned, and Yamato knew they were thinking the same thing. When they were kids, Taichi would have been pissed by Yamato's failure to mention his worry for Eimi. These days, he understood the weight of the omission, knew that there were emotions too heavy for Yamato to vocalize. "Can't have the misses upset, now can we," Taichi said, playing along.
"That's how it works." Yamato shrugged, and Taichi smirked, but spared him the whipped husband jokes. Pleasantries complete, Yamato stepped towards the doorway, but Taichi didn't release his shoulder.
"Uh, just so you know, she… She looks bad." Yamato nodded without breaking stride, but when he walked through the door frame, his glance was mysteriously drawn to his feet.
Eimi called him, but he still couldn't look up. Her voice was all wrong, rough and thick. Audiation, that skill he had developed until it was instinct, compared her current sound to the one he remembered. His fluid gait faltered. Could the change to her pure, lilting tones be permanent?
He couldn't put it off any longer, so he fixed his lips into a facsimile of a smile and looked up. The arms reaching for him were impaled with IVs and speckled with bruises. She was too thin, too insubstantial, a ghost lost in white blankets and a flimsy hospital gown. Even her lips were blanched, lost among the rest of her skin. Her only color came from the dark rings around her eyes.
Yamato's cheeks twitched, but he held his smile in place. "I'm so glad to see you," Eimi said, wiggling her fingers. Yamato moved slowly, trying to ensure that he was steady. His gaze shifted to the tubes in her nose.
"Oh, this?" Eimi rolled her eyes. "I don't even need it anymore. I can breathe just fine, but Jyou keeps saying-"
Yamato shook his head. "If Kido says you need it, then you need it."
"You don't know him. He gets paranoid. I keep telling him-" A spasm assaulted her, and she bent forward, wheezing like a seal. Yamato lunged towards her, but she waved him off and grabbed a tissue from the movable table attached to her bed.
There was a nasty squelch as she cleared the mucus from her throat. When she fell back against the pillows, her face was red, and her eyes shined with tears. Taichi magically appeared at the other side of her bed. "Do you need a nurse?" Eimi shook her head, but he left to find one, anyway.
"How do you feel?" Yamato asked, sinking onto the seat nearest her.
"I'm okay," she croaked. A tear spilled over, and Yamato tsked and wiped it off with a tissue. Irritation rose and fell, smothered by long practice.
Don't give me that shit. "Try again," he substituted. "How are you?" Yamato calmly returned her heavy stare, the one that always ruffled Taichi. Eimi glanced towards the door, likely checking that Taichi was out of earshot, then leaned closer. The fake smile melted from her face.
She stared at him, expression cautious and unreadable. Yamato swallowed a sigh. Was he going to have to argue, or would she give him a break and answer? As the silence stretched on, he said, "Takeru and Sora want to know how you're doing. I didn't come this far for a false report."
Wincing, Eimi dropped her gaze, shoulders sinking with it. "My chest hurts," she whispered. "My throat aches. It's hard to breathe. I'm so tired of tubes and needles and tests, and the flow of people- I'm so tired. I wanna go home. I miss Aegis! But Taichi and Jyou are worried, and…"
Yamato's hands weren't visible from Eimi's angle, so he allowed them to move, cycling through cord shapes with his left and plucking patterns with his right. He wouldn't- couldn't- focus on what Eimi was saying and feeling. Otherwise, he'd start tearing up like Takeru, and Eimi would shift from unloading her troubles to dealing with his. "And so you're playing tough, hoping to get out of here sooner."
He expected her to look away, but her gaze held firm. "Who's playing?"
Damn. Yamato fought against the urge to praise her. Instead, he offered the flowers, as if in apology.
Eimi stared at the bouquet, a gorgeous specimen selected by Sora using the video feed on his cell phone. "Thank you so much. But, um… I was hoping you might sneak me a soda or some chocolate."
Finally, he was able to smile honestly. "C'mon, have some faith in me." He slipped a hand into his bag and pulled out a tin. "I brought you cookies from a bakery nearby. I wish I could have made them myself, but..."
Her eyes brightened, providing animation that shifted her face from mask-like to alive. "Oh, Yama! I love you so much. Gimme!"
Yamato shook his head. "Aren't they feeding you?"
The IV attached to Eimi's far arm jerked as she reached for him, and she sighed and examined the insertion. Yamato popped the tin open and handed her a cookie. She shoved the entire thing in her mouth, closed her eyes, and grinned like a two year old while her cheeks worked. Yamato coughed, trying and failing to mask his laughter.
Eimi swallowed and smacked her lips. "That was amaaaazing. But- Uh- Yeah, they feed me, or at least they have for the last day or two. It was IV fluids before that. Everything is tasteless mush and soup, though. Jyou keeps saying I lost too much weight, but he won't bring me anything the hospital hasn't approved, and Taichi's on his side."
"Hmm." Yamato pulled another tissue from the box and handed it over. "Might wanna wipe the chocolate off your face before Taichi comes back, then."
"Nooo, don't waste it!" She passed her tongue over her lips like a dog lapping traces of peanut butter. Footsteps in the hall had Yamato wiping her face anyway. He snapped the tin shut and shoved it in his bag as Taichi walked in with a nurse.
"They had vases in the gift shop," Taichi said, holding up a clear vessel containing water. He handed it to Yamato, who busied himself with arranging the bouquet while Eimi spoke to the nurse.
After a brief discussion, the nurse turned and nearly collided with someone on her way out. Yamato grinned as Koushiro stammered an apology in the doorway and backed into the room with his arms held up in front of him. The bassist turned to Eimi, expecting to share a smile with her, but her attention was on Koushiro.
She hauled herself upright and finger-combed her hair as Koushiro said hello to Taichi. Then she adjusted her blanket, and Yamato assumed she was covering her chest, since her hospital gown was thin and Koushiro wasn't as close to her as he and Taichi were. But she didn't pull it up that far, just over her elbows, as if…
She's covering her IVs. He turned to Koushiro to say hello, but he watched Eimi with his peripheral. Her eyes followed Koushiro's face, and she smiled, despite the fact that he hadn't greeted her yet.
When their conversation closed, Koushiro said, "Pardon me, Yamato-san. Would you mind if I took your seat for a moment?" Baffled, Yamato rose, placed the vase on the end table beside Eimi's bed, and sat next to Taichi on her opposite side. Koushiro sat and removed his backpack.
"Hello," he said, speaking into the bag. Yamato scowled as Eimi's smile faded. Koushiro was often socially awkward, but this was a bit much, especially when she was obviously happy to see him.
Koushiro pulled out a laptop, opened it, and sat it on Eimi's lap, nudging the moving table aside. "I came from your house," he said, reaching over and typing. "Jyou is going to visit later. I walked and fed Aegis."
"Oh! Thank you!" Koushiro leaned in close, and faint traces of color tinted Eimi's cheeks. Yamato's eyes narrowed as his attention sharpened. If she weren't so blanched, the blushing would have been invisible, but he was sure it was there. The fluorescent lighting didn't leave much room to hide.
"Should you get this close?" Eimi asked. "I'm still contagious. And I don't know if I should touch your computer."
"It's alright." Koushiro stared at the display and smiled, and Yamato startled. He knew that expression; it was the same look Taichi had when he was about to pull off a spectacular surprise.
"Oh…" Eimi stared at his profile and inched closer. "How is Aegis?"
Koushiro clicked a few more times, then turned to her at last. Her eyes went wide and bright when she saw his smile, and for a moment, Yamato didn't notice the oxygen tube or the bags beneath her eyes.
"Why don't you ask him?" Koushiro asked. Yamato shared a baffled look with Taichi. Koushiro tapped the keyboard with a flourish, producing a final, especially loud click. "Call him!" he urged.
"Uh…" Eimi looked from the expectant redhead to the screen. "Um… Aegis?"
There was a whine, then a thump, and Eimi exclaimed and covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh my stars! Aegis! Aww, Aegis, hush, it's okay. I'm okay!"
Taichi stood, clapped his hand on Eimi's shoulder, and looked down at the laptop. He started laughing, and Yamato moved in for a view. Aegis filled the screen, shaking and whining, a trembling mass of whimpering dog. "How did you do this?" Yamato asked. He snorted as Aegis licked the camera on his end, leaving a trail of saliva.
"Hm?" Koushiro didn't look away from Eimi as she cooed to her dog. "I programmed a tablet at Eimi's home to automatically accept calls from this computer. The program runs without interruption until the call ends from our side, so nothing will happen if Aegis touches his screen."
"That's brilliant," Yamato said. "I bet you could market this, Koushiro."
"Hmm… I'll consider it, but this was the immediate goal."
Eimi grabbed Koushiro's arm with one hand and wiped her eye with the other. "Oh, Koushiro-kun. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I've missed Aegis so much, and- Thank you. Really."
"I'm glad you like it. I'll leave the computer and its charger here, so you can call him any time. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
Eimi beamed up at him. "I'm so happy, really." She looked from face to face, then slowly exhaled and snuggled into her pillows. "It's been so long since we were all together. Let's catch up! Yamato, how was your tour?"
Yamato focused on her face as he answered, but he noticed her hand sliding down Koushiro's arm. Koushiro tipped his head when Eimi's fingers wrapped around his. His dark eyes stared, considering the contact. After an almost imperceptible shrug, he turned his gaze to Yamato and fell into the conversation.
Yamato stored everything in the back of his mind, then followed Koushiro's lead.
Another Day
Taichi stepped into Eimi's room and nodded to Koushiro, who sat beside her. It seemed that, in lieu of real conversation, Koushiro was talking at Eimi, describing his work while she stared with glossy eyes. Taichi might have teased or scolded him for his poor social skills, but he suspected that Eimi didn't notice a problem. It was clear that she was either freshly drugged up or hadn't slept well, a common occurrence in the hospital.
"Taichi-san's here," Koushiro said, explaining the obvious to Eimi. "I'll go back and walk Aegis."
"Oh… Okay." A weak smile passed her face, but it strengthened when her eyes met Taichi's. "Will I see you later, Koushiro-kun?"
"Yes. I'll return in a few hours. Jyou will bring dinner." After a brief discussion of food options, which would likely be supplanted by Jyou's orders, Koushiro left, and Taichi took his chair. Now that Eimi was stable, the men took shifts with her as needed. Taichi hadn't been able to drag his ass out of bed for the hospital's early morning hours, so he was here now, clutching a coffee that wasn't doing its damned job.
"Hey." He brushed a stray bit of hair away from Eimi's face and somehow dredged up a smile. "How do you feel?"
"I'm alright. How are you?"
"Alright," he said through gritted teeth. Visiting Eimi today had required every ounce of Taichi's courage and willpower. Coming to the hospital, a place of pain and fleeting hope, was difficult on its own. But the news he carried was the real burden, a smothering weight. The chair legs grated against the floor as he moved closer to her.
"Um, Eimi… I need to tell you something." Her expression remained the same: interested, pleased that he was there, but bleary and unfocused. Taichi grit his teeth and grabbed her hand.
"I'm here on vacation. I meant to spend a few days with you and move on to Odaiba. I need to be on a plane to France in a few days, and I still… I still need to see Hikari and my parents. So I… I have to go."
The slack hand in his tensed, then curled tight. "You, you're- Of course, you have your job, so-" She rearranged her face quickly, but Taichi saw her eyes widen and her nostrils flare.
Damn it! "I'm sorry, Eimi. God, I don't want to leave you here with this, but I can't…"
"Y-you have work. That's how it is." Taichi looked past her, avoiding her face. His gaze fell on her heart rate monitor. It was silenced, but the graph rose and fell in high, rapid peaks.
She's afraid. Who wouldn't be, alone in this place? Alone while she's so sick? He took a trembling breath and tried to focus on remaining calm. Showing how upset he was would only make her feel worse.
"I, um… I talked to Kido about your recovery. He's… He's saying it will take a while, weeks at the least, probably months. Do you, uh… Has someone talked to you about that?"
Eimi picked at her sheets, focusing on the swath of fabric. "A, a bit. Jyou said I won't be able to do much on my own."
"R-right. I wish I could help, but…" Taichi swallowed a sigh. "Are you seeing anyone right now? Someone who could…"
"Take care of me?" Eimi supplied. Her chest rose and fell in a quick, humorless laugh. "No."
Damn, damn, damn. Though she had answered his question, Taichi couldn't help probing, as if she might have forgotten having a boyfriend. "You and Kido…?"
"What?" Eimi looked at him at last, head tipped to the side. "No. No, it's… just me."
"I didn't mean it that way," he said quickly, although he wasn't sure what way Eimi had taken it. "I, I just…"
Eimi wrapped her arms around her upper body and leaned forward, as if she had a stomach ache. The tubes from her IVs crossed and slid, tangling together. "You wish I had someone, but I don't."
"E-Eimi-" Taichi looked over his shoulder, as if one of the others waited there to direct him. Naturally, the doorway was empty; all he had was himself and a coffee. He was tempted to offer it to her, purely for lack of options.
Taichi half-stood when her shoulders shook. Gently, he pressed his fingertips beneath her chin and tilted her face towards him. The fake smile and attempts at alertness she had shown since moving out of the ICU were gone, leaving naked fear in watering eyes. "Do you remember what you asked me in the tour bus? Before… before this?"
The strength left his body in a rush, and Taichi almost dropped his coffee in an attempt to place it on the side table. He fussed with the drink, stalling for time to think, but his brain had given up the ghost. That conversation was difficult the first time around. A re-visitation seemed impossible, especially under these circumstances. "Y-yeah," he muttered, but he couldn't bring himself to be more specific.
Still, the underlying question whispered through his mind: What does someone who almost died dream of?
Her fingers dug into his palm, scooping at the flesh. Taichi moved closer, close enough to almost feel the trembling of her body. "You, you asked me what I want for myself, and… You were right. I do want a partner. M-maybe I even want a child. I want, I want…"
Her free hand rose to her face, blocking half of it from view. Her uncovered eye pinched shut, and deep lines formed trenches around it. Taichi fought the urge to soothe her. As an athlete, he recognized physical tension in need of release. As an ambassador, he sensed the importance of her line of thought. And so, he stroked her hand and waited, trying to prepare himself for the pain that would come.
A bead of liquid formed and slid through clenched lids. "I want to go home, but I don't want to be helpless there. I, I d-don't want to be alone. I love you all so much, and you're all so good to me, but I, I- Day to day I, I'm so-"
He needed to let Eimi finish, to purge, but it was no good. He threw his arms around her and pulled her into him, shuddering when the tubes in her nose rubbed against his neck. Her breath slid down his skin, carrying her confession with it. "I'm so lonely."
The fronts of well-being and cheerfulness that she had hidden behind in the hospital, and probably much longer, crashed down around him. She fell apart in his arms, her body jerking with the strength of her sobs. A nurse appeared in the doorway, and Taichi shook his head, signaling that she couldn't help with this.
They were already wading through the physical results of Eimi's overwork and self-abuse. Now, as unequipped as he was, he had to help her through the emotional wreckage. But what the hell could he say to her? There were no words that could take her problems away.
When her crying slowed, he whispered, "You're not alone. Never. I know… I know we can't be with you physically, but we… We're always…"
He swallowed hard, trying to silently clear the blockage in his throat. It was true that their hodge-podge family always cared about each other. For years, it seemed like that was enough. But realistically, how helpful were love and good intentions from a distance? Did it amount to anything without a certain degree of presence?
Shit, damn. He wanted to reassure Eimi that she wasn't alone, but functionally, as soon as they all returned to their lives… She would be.
Taichi patted her back as her crying slowed. I have to work. All of us need to live our lives. But isn't there a compromise somewhere? Something that lets us actually spend some fucking time together outside of emergencies?
When she tipped her cheek against his, Taichi nuzzled her in return, ignoring the sticky wetness of tears and snot. "Don't worry. I know it's not as good as one of us, but Kido and I will find a nurse to take care of you until you're back on your-"
She tensed and tried to pull away from him, but fell onto his chest. Taichi was still trying to right her when she cried, "I don't- Don't want some stranger-"
Living in your house. Doing your chores. Helping you bathe and use the restroom. Her head was below his, so Taichi allowed himself a grimace. No, he wouldn't want some random person helping him into a tub, and he was a lot more comfortable in his skin than Eimi was.
"Are you, uh- You and Kido seem so close-"
This time, when Eimi tried to ease back, Taichi helped her lie down again. Although her forced positivity had annoyed him, he was unprepared for the exhaustion and resignation she showed now. "We are. We're not together, though."
"Yeah?" Taichi hesitated, trying to weigh the potential of hurting her against the possibility of helping. "Uh, it's not my business, but he seems… I think he might…"
Dark, disinterested eyes flicked towards him. "Even if we were together, he couldn't take care of me. He's a doctor. He lives four hours away. He can't miss weeks of work for me."
"Right…" Anxiety washed from his brain down, followed by a shiver of fear. His half-formed notions of caring for Eimi had collapsed before completion. Jyou wouldn't be able to help, and she didn't want a stranger.
He reviewed his options under Eimi's heavy stare. Most of their friends were too far from Eimi to be useful, but there was one person who could help… But how the hell will I convince him to?
Still, it could potentially work, so Taichi tried to push the issue aside and focus on supporting Eimi. "Listen, if you want a boyfriend, you can find one once you get well."
She snorted and tipped her head away. "Haven't had much luck so far."
"Hey." Taichi grabbed her shoulder and leaned in, trying and failing to give her a view of his scowl. "Did you really try? Like, put up a dating profile online or something? Singles meet-ups? You don't get to give up without trying."
A sting of anger, foreign and startling, passed her face, but quickly dissolved into pain. "I… can't really imagine doing those things, but I guess… Maybe it's time to…"
"You'll do great, Eimi. You're the full package! Successful, talented, sweet, cute, caring… You could get any guy you want, easy."
A deep wince distorted her features. Her head rolled to the other side, facing away from him. "Thanks, but… I don't want to talk about this."
Yikes. The subject was clearly more sensitive than he had anticipated, and Taichi hesitated, unsure of whether to investigate further or let it go. It wasn't uncommon for Eimi to struggle with confidence and self-esteem, but he couldn't recall ever seeing her like this, broken in body and spirit, all protective fronts stripped back. He always thought hearing the truth, having access to Eimi's deeper thoughts and desires, would allow him to help her. It infuriated him that her desire to avoid burdening others often left her struggling alone. Taichi knew he wasn't invincible, that he was far from perfect, but he liked to think that he would always rise and fight for a friend.
But now that Eimi had shared a private truth, he realized that she kept some things quiet to spare him this sense of helplessness. The forced smiles that had always annoyed him protected him from a deeper pain of seeing her problem but having no solution.
I guess she thinks holding us at a distance is more comfortable for us than seeing her in pain. Or worse, seeing her pain and not even being able to help.
His hands snapped into fists. But screw that. There has to be a way. If not, I'll make one myself. "I'm going to help."
Eimi turned back towards him, exhausted, but drawn by something in his voice. Heavy-lidded eyes stared into his, waiting for more. "Don't worry," he said. "I'm going to find help for you. You won't be alone in this."
"Taichi… Thank you, really. But I don't see… I don't know what anyone can do."
Taichi wrapped his hand around hers and forced a smile, forgetting how much he disliked it when Eimi put up such fronts. "I'll think of something. I promise."
He turned the subject, talking of nothing and anything while his mind worked. Somehow, someway, he was going to keep his promise… But he was going to need help.
Later
When Koushiro returned to the hospital, he found Taichi waiting for him outside of Eimi's room. Without pausing for greetings, Taichi grabbed Koushiro's shoulder and directed him down the hall. "C'mere a sec," he said. Koushiro stumbled after him, trying to free himself from Taichi's punishing grip.
"I'm coming, Taichi-san," he sighed. "There's no need to manhandle me."
Wincing, Taichi released him. "Dude! Phrasing. You're killing me."
Koushiro arched an eyebrow. "You're nearly thirty, Taichi-san. The time for sexual jokes and saying 'dude' has long passed."
Taichi produced the kind of smirk that could cause a viewer to step back, but Koushiro maintained his impassive expression. "I trust you're dragging me around for a reason."
Taichi walked down the hall and turned the bend before answering. "I needed to talk to you. Alone."
Koushiro's stomach sank, but he nodded. The ambassador leaned on the wall, slumping against it for support. Koushiro waited, resisting the urge to needle him for answers.
At last, Taichi sighed and tipped his head back. "I've already called everyone I can think of at work, trying to get some time off. It's no good; my vacation time ends soon, and Eimi's scheduled to return home in a few days."
"That is problematic." Koushiro pressed his fist to his chin as he considered the issue, but no solution was forthcoming. "I'd like to help, but how can I change your work situation?"
Taichi smiled, but there was something fierce and assessing in his eyes. "Er- I don't think you can."
Nurses and visitors walked the hall, but they faded into the background. The two of them were in a private bubble, staring at each other, feeling out the emotions and thoughts at play. Koushiro wasn't especially blessed with social aplomb, and all he could decipher was that Taichi was serious and focused. He wanted to wait for Taichi to show his hand, but his curiosity soon took control. "Then what are you asking of me?"
A ragged sigh left Taichi's lungs in lurching stages. "Look," he said, taking hold of Koushiro's shoulder again, "I really need you to hear me out before you say no."
Oh, excellent. Koushiro's expression went deadpan. "Kindly get on with it."
"I need you to stay with Eimi until she's better."
Koushiro was so shocked that he couldn't deliver the refusal rushing up his throat. Taichi's fingers swept over his shoulder, probably feeling the sudden spike of tension.
"She needs help, Koushiro. They're sending her home, but how is she going to feed herself and take care of her dog? She's supposed to be on bed rest, but you can bet your scrawny ass that she'll be up and doing things she shouldn't if no one keeps an eye on her. And, I mean, she won't have a choice if she's alone."
Objections clicked into cohesive thoughts, and Koushiro tried to speak one, but Taichi cut him off with volume. He slid closer, and Koushiro could almost hear Mimi offering one of her most frequent bits of movie commentary: "Just kiss already!" Shuddering, he edged back, but Taichi stepped into him until he was against the wall.
"Taichi-san, we've discussed the personal space issue-"
"Shut up and listen. I can't take care of Eimi. None of us can. We're all too far away and working, and-" Taichi broke off and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Fuck, damn. That's how we didn't notice this happening in the first place. I know you're busy, too, but… You took a semester break from teaching, right?"
His neurons sent a rush of blazing signals through his brain, but no evasive strategies materialized. "Yes," he admitted, because he couldn't think of a way around that truth. "The research department needs something completed quickly."
Taichi's eyes narrowed. "Sure." Koushiro fought against reacting, but he fidgeted. How much did Taichi suspect about his behavior after the breakup? Koushiro had told him a bit, but avoided specifics. The research department needed more hours from him, yes. But he had finally accepted their standing request because he hadn't felt able to cope with his students.
"You do most of your programming work at home, right? But if you need to visit the campus, it's still less than an hour away."
Taichi's argument was growing a bit too strong. Koushiro forced himself to calm and collect his wits. "Eimi-san's illness frightened all of us. I'm well aware of that. But I know nothing about caring for a sick individual. You know I don't cook, and that my house keeping skills aren't up to Eimi-san's standards. And have you considered that she might not want a person of the opposite sex attending to her in certain situations?"
"How hard is it to get some food for her and bring her water?" Taichi snapped. "And let's face it, Eimi's uncomfortable with everyone touching her unless she's close to them. I'm not leaving her in the care of a stranger, Koushiro."
"Are you sure that Eimi-san is comfortable enough with me?"
Taichi glared at him. "She was comfortable enough to take care of your ass when you needed it."
The color drained from Koushiro's face. "She- She told you-" He forced himself to stop before he sputtered something he didn't want known himself. "I told you that I was in Eimi-san's care. Did she… tell you anything about that?"
"Nope," Taichi replied. "Frustrating as hell. Figured she was protecting you somehow. Here's what I'm wondering, though. How did Eimi end up finding out about the breakup and inviting you over? And how the fuck did she convince you to agree?"
Koushiro managed a weak grin. "Mimi-san contacted her with orders to check up on me. And Eimi-san didn't give me much choice about accepting her care."
Taichi watched him for a long, uncomfortable moment. "It's crazy how you and Eimi ended up so close so fast. Well, by your misanthropic standards, anyway." He allowed himself a smirk, and Koushiro mirrored it, just to piss him off.
"Pff! Look at you." Taichi elbowed Koushiro hard enough to make him sway. "So, she took good care of you?"
The moisture drained from Koushiro's mouth. Had Taichi actually talked him into a corner? Worse yet, Koushiro could no longer deny that it would be wrong to leave Eimi to her own devices when she had worked so hard to take care of him. And hadn't he mentioned himself that her effort on his part might have exacerbated her illness?
Koushiro worked his forehead with his fingertips. "You're right," he sighed. "I'm in her debt, and I don't want to see her in need any more than you do. I want to be useful to Eimi-san, but I can't help being hesitant. I don't take the best care of myself. What if Eimi-san is deprived of more capable care because she's in mine?"
"I get that," Taichi said. "Which is why Kido is working on a list of resources for you as we speak. He said Eimi will need an IV therapy nurse for a while, so there will be someone checking in every day to make sure she's okay. If you can learn new programming languages as they come out, then I think you can handle this."
"I… don't know. I'm worried." Although memories of his post-breakup disaster were hazy, Koushiro knew that the damage had made Eimi cry. What if he treated her the same way he had treated himself? Even on normal days, he ate simple meals or forgot them entirely. "Would she truly prefer me to a professional?" Given the choice, Koushiro knew what he would pick.
Taichi's hands landed on his shoulders so heavily that Koushiro's knees buckled. The ambassador towered over him, and something about the angle reinforced the exhaustion on his face. "Please," he whispered. "She doesn't want a stranger. Koushiro, she… Just, just try to put yourself in her place. She can't take basic care of herself, and most of the people she loves are hours away. She feels afraid and alone. Imagine how much of a relief it would be to have a friend nearby."
Koushiro didn't need his imagination to spark an emotional response; the thought of Eimi in need was enough. Although he was nervous about executing, his path was clear. "Alright," he said. "If I can be of assistance to Eimi-san, then I'll do whatever I can."
He yelped, unprepared for the bear hug Taichi squished him into. "Thank you. Hell, you have no idea- just- thank you."
Sucking in air felt like breathing through a straw. Koushiro elbowed Taichi, who thankfully took a hint and backed up a step. Koushiro didn't even have time to register relief before his friend threw an arm around his shoulders. "C'mon, let's talk to Kido about what you need to know. And you can tell Eimi that you're going to help her. I want you to see how much this means to her."
Koushiro swallowed hard and nodded in lieu of a response. Everything was spinning out of his control, but there was no way to back out now, and no real desire to. Instead of focusing on his fear, on his certainty that his care wouldn't be adequate, he chose to think on Taichi's words: he was going to be present and useful to his friends, and to Eimi in particular.
A slow, trepid smile lifted his cheeks as Taichi dragged him to Eimi's room to reassure her.