Disclaimer: All characters belong to Bioware and LucasArts, I didn't create the Star Wars universe, it's just where I daydream.
This is my take/twist on the background or between the lines story from a great game.
Chapter 26
Maneuvers
Last Updated: Thursday, March 17, 2005
Josna stood still and silent. That no one had noted her presence in the enclave was a testament to her control of the Force. The council's deliberations had been predictable. Break the bond, isolate and retrain, do they never change? None of them know how to be whole anymore. Once I was whole, then something was gone. Master Vandar had once told her there had been an accident when she was a child. She remembered the memories flitting through his mind, memories of a serious young Twi'lek training. Memories of a yellow skinned head broken open, blood stains on the ground and a sword grasped in an unseen hand. Fragmented thoughts and confused images followed that day. Time ceased to flow linearly, it jumped and crawled and made it hard to determine cause and effect. Josna learned more but could understand less. Years of disjointed moments finally began to merge. Now that there is so little time left to me almost everything I know is in the past. Soon I will find the hand. Quietly, Josna followed the whirlwind going to meet her fate.
Bastila sensed her approach and giggled hysterically. I am going to kill her, I am going to kill her. Soon it would all be over. Trin marched purposefully around the corner and up to the top of a grassy mound where Bastila waited impatiently. The bond between them throbbed painfully. Bastila's giddy homicidal anticipation clashed with Trin's implacable cold determination. They stood four or five strides apart and stared for a moment.
Bastila sneered, "I knew you would come. You are the council's lapdog and your obedience as garnered too many undeserved rewards."
Trin snorted. "Rewards. If you could take my place, enjoy my rewards and the inevitable welcome that will accompany them you would grab up your robes and run."
Bastila ignited her lightsaber, the red blade bathed her features with the eerie illusion of fresh blood. "You are the infection and you will pay for your crimes."
Trin brought her own weapon to life, the green glow calmed and reassured her. "So, it comes to this, you will attempt to fulfill the cruel fantasy's with which you have haunted my sleep."
Bastila ran recklessly forward and attacked with a clumsy overhand blow. Trin blocked the blow and pushed Bastila back with a strong kick to her abdomen. Bastila stumbled backward to land inelegantly on her rear. As she scrambled to her feet Trin spoke persuasively.
"Bastila, you don't have to do this. Think of Juhani."
"Juhani is lost to me. I couldn't ask her to become an outcast and I wouldn't have remembered my love for her when regressed."
They both heard voices and the sound of running feet. Bastila lit the other end of her double blade and attacked with a feral snarl. Her dual bladed weapon whirled and spun. Trin dodged left, right, left and right again to avoid the spinning wheels of danger but was caught off guard when Bastila blasted her with Force lightening. The scent of burning flesh greeted those that ran towards them.
Trin dropped to her knees when the lightening attack ended. Despite the pain one word reverberated in her mind. "Regressed?"
"Ahhh, they have not told you yet. Let me illuminate the shape of things to come. You are to be granted the rank of Jedi Knight and I am to undergo memory regression."
"Nonsense." Trin frowned in irritation. "Why do you make up such rubbish? Neither of us will escape our actions or past unscathed."
"You are such a fool." Bastila laughed frantically. "The Jedi council wants tidy answers. You are the Revan they always wanted, powerful but perfect in your compassion for the poor haunted souls that have fallen to the dark side. To them you seem so kind, so sweet, so damned heroic."
A strangled voice interrupted their strained conversation. "Who told you this?" A brown robed figure that had always been there and yet had held no meaning for either woman suddenly stepped into the foreground. The wraith's face was hidden in a deep cowl. "Who?" The voice asked insistently.
"Master Zhar advised me of my choice." Bastila's lips pursed in bitterness as spat the last word.
Carth arrived at a run, he skidded to a stop near Trin's kneeling form his vibroblade in hand. Zaalbar, Mission and Jolee followed the anxious soldier. Dustil trailed behind carrying Liera. Neither Bastila nor Trin noticed their arrival, the cloaked figure's soundless cry of triumph blocked mere physical sights and sounds.
"Zhar, my brother, yes, I remember—I remember your hand on the sword." The figure threw back her head and the cowl fell revealing yellow headtails. In a powerful voice she called out, "I, Josna, summon thee my brother, our minds are once more joined though our purposes still collide."
How long the tableau endured on the mound none of the participants could have said. They stood unmoving around Josna until the sounds of the Masters' arrival intruded on their awareness.
Master Dorak was first to the top. "Josna! Josna, what are you doing here?" Masters Vandar, Quattra and Tomar arrayed themselves behind the enclave's chronicler, seemingly content to let him speak for them.
"I know my opponent Dorak. I know his mind, I know his name."
Master Zhar staggered up the hill, he looked almost as though he were being herded by unseen spirits. When he reached the top he shook off the compulsion that had caused him to join them on the hill top. "Josna," he breathed.
Bastila awoke as though released from a dream. Her eyes narrowed as she observed the mindlessness of those around her, hate pulsed through the bond igniting a rage in her mind that could not be denied. She lunged forward and pierced the Revan's belly with a well-aimed thrust of her lightsaber. The brown cloak her enemy wore smoked choking Bastila as she raised her chin to savor the pain that poured from her erstwhile companion. But it was not the Revan's gaze that met her eyes it was Josna's angry visage.
Josna howled in pain and thrust the small woman away from her. She tore at the Force bond that tied Bastila to too many intrigues and ripped it from her mind. Bastila, Trin and Master Zhar echoed Josna's howl.
Dustil shuffled mindlessly around the conflict unaware of the increasingly frantic struggles of the child held in his iron grip. "Mama," cried Liera frantically, "Mama? she repeated both aloud and mentally, "Mama!" she howled as Dustil approached Master Zhar.
Trin stood and grabbing Carth's hand strode forward to intercept Dustil. Carth's mind was washed clean at her touch, he gripped his vibroblade tightly and followed Trin.
Liera screamed then begged, "Let go, let go, let go of me, let go of them, let go."
Carth and Trin stood directly in front of Liera and Dustil. Carth put the tip of his sword on Dustil's throat, the blade shook with his effort to draw it back. Tears ran down Trin's face as she struggled. Against her will she lifted the hand containing her lightsaber over her head and began the stroke that would destroy both her and Carth's lives. Dustil's arm snaked around Liera's throat silencing her pleas with pressure. He edged forward, blood trickled down his chest.
"Brother," Josna said calmly, "my day has come."
As she spoke a golden lightsaber blade erupted from Master Zhar's chest. Both Zhar and Josna, crumpled. Jolee stood panting behind Master Zhar. Suddenly they were all freed from compulsion and stasis. Dustil shoved Liera into Trin's arms and turned away, horror colored his face.
Master Vandar stepped to Josna's side and healed the ailing woman. Masters Dorak, Quattra and Tomar moved to Bastila's side.
Bastila howled, "Let me die, you don't know what I've done, just let me die."
Master Dorak took Bastila's lightsaber from her hand while Master Tomar restrained the struggling Padawan. Master Quattra jabbed Bastila with a trank stick and her frantic movement ceased abruptly.
Trin looked up from the struggle to where Carth had been standing but he was gone, as were Dustil and Master Zhar.
Dustil wrapped his arm around the wailing child's throat and cut off her aggravating howls. He edged forward until the tip of his father's blade pierced his skin. Here is my revenge, I will die by my father's hand. With this act I will remove all his hopes, infect him with guilt and set him on the road to destruction. He will embrace a quest to destroy all Sith, including that foul woman and die in the attempt. Nothing could be better than... Dustil's angry thoughts were cut short by Jolee's attack on Master Zhar. The red haze lifted, his father pulled his sword away and Dustil released his hold on Liera. The girl sighed deeply in relief. I almost—by the Force! Dustil shoved Liera into her mother's arms then turned and ran.
His father's shout followed him down the hill, "Dustil, wait."
Dustil ran mindlessly around the enclave and onto the plain. He filled his mind with the needs of motion, he watched the ground and placed one foot after another. After a time he became aware that someone else ran behind him matching him stride for stride—not challenging him, just keeping him company. Dustil ran faster, as fast as he could without the aid of the Force. His unknown companion stayed just behind him, just out of sight. Dustil's lungs burned, his sides ached and still he ran on and on until, bleary eyed, a misstep sent him tumbling. He lay sprawled on the ground with his eyes closed breathing heavily. He could smell dust, sweat and grass. He could hear the breeze and feel the grass bending to brush his face and he could sense the presence of another. Not yet ready to face reality but unwilling to lay helpless he sighed and opened his eyes. No one was there. He sat up and looked around but there was no one in sight. He closed his eyes again, the sense of some other presence returned, it was gentle and light, it made no demands. Dustil opened his eyes once again, the presence was all around him, comforting him as she had in life. The message was there, the message he hadn't wanted to hear. I love you, my son. Take care of each other. Forgive yourselves and be happy.
Calm enveloped the young man and he let go. "Good-bye mom, I love you," he whispered. The presence, real or imagined, dissipated gently leaving no sense of loss. This is the peace Yergi knows. If only it could last forever. Dustil watched his father run towards him across the plain.
Carth stopped near Dustil's feet, leaned resting his hands on his knees and asked between gasps for air, "Are—you—Ok?"
Dustil looked at his father with new eyes, he'd stripped off his heavy jacket and dropped his sword but wasted no other time in dashing off across the prairie just to ask that simple question. Dustil answered, "No, yes, both."
"Dustil, what happened back there, it happened to us all."
"I know. I just don't like being manipulated."
Carth flopped down on the ground next to him. "We were all manipulated. Led through anger and despair to act in accordance to a dark master's whim."
"You fought it, so did Trin."
"We were losing, if Jolee had been a few moments slower." Carth shuddered.
Dustil took a deep breath, "The final straw, for me, was Liera. She was scared but so trusting when I pulled her out of her bed. I—I " His father rested a hand on his shoulder. "Then after we were released I look down into her face and she smiled at me. I had nearly killed her and she just smile at me."
"She is unusual, with her abilities, she may have been more aware of what was really happening than any of us."
"She's still a child."
"Not yet, she isn't a child yet."
Dustil frowned.
"She's still in survival mode. If she ever feels safe, then we may see the real child behind the mask. I've been to too many worlds with children like her. Some are so badly wounded they can never be children, but they also never become adults."
"Like me?" Dustil asked gruffly.
"I don't know son, I hope not. You have the capacity to change, you also spent your earliest years safe, with your mother."
"I know how it should be."
Carth nodded.
"Dad, thanks, for coming to find me on Korriban and for not giving up on me."
Carth's hand tightened on Dustil's shoulder for a moment. "You're welcome, son."
"We should probably get back."
"Yeah, we should."
Dustil and Carth jogged back to the enclave side by side.
Master Vandar stood in what had once been the enclave's port and stared at the rubble where his office had once stood. They had searched the ruins and the area around the enclave, Zhar was gone. Josna had explained that she and Zhar had been so close mentally during the confrontation that he couldn't have healed one without healing the other. It mattered little, Vandar would have healed them individually if Zhar hadn't disappeared.
Josna walked behind him gently. Vandar rather missed her skipping but one could hardly expect her to have stayed the same. "We knew something strange had happened to you, none of the scans ever detected any brain damage."
"Of course not, my brain was in perfect condition, I just wasn't able to use most of it. He stored all sorts of incriminating data and angry thoughts in my head, which made hiding from you and the other Master's much easier. The bond between twins is well documented so the fact that we retained that after the training accident was never questioned."
"Was it an accident Josna?"
"I don't know for sure but I feel that it was an accident. I think he struck out in anger and immediately regretted it. But during my time in the bacta tank he started using my brain as well as his own, it was an advantage he could not bear to relinquish."
Vandar nodded, "He was a competitive child, as I recall. I am still amazed that he could hold so many strong minds in thrall."
"He didn't, we did that together, more or less." Josna stopped for a moment. "It as almost as if there are three consciousness: his, mine and ours. As young children we could act as one, we wanted food, warmth and safety, there was little room for argument. Later we grew apart but the bond, it was still there, still alive between us. His desires dominated that third consciousness while I slept and out of a jealous desire to remain alive that consciousness was led to corruption."
"He fell and let you live out a life interrupted by disjointed memories and thoughts without context."
She shrugged.
"So who is he now?"
"I don't know Master Vandar. He may truly be Zhar again for the first time in many years or he may be entirely Darth Travious now."
"Won't you change your mind and come to Coruscant with us?"
"No, I know the power of this little one, she will need guidance and someone on hand to prevent her from impressing her will on others as Zhar and I did."
"I will keep your plans to myself."
"Thank you and good-bye, Master Vandar."
"Fare-thee-well in your travels until we meet again," responded Vandar. He was inordinately pleased to see a glimpse of the old Josna in the grin she flashed over her shoulder at him.
Trin sat to one side of Bastila's bed waiting for her to wake. Her eyes finally fluttered open she looked at Trin uncomprehendingly for a moment before touching her head and whispering, "You aren't here."
Trin nodded, "I know, Bastila, for good or for ill we're free of each other."
"What happens, now. You must all know by now."
"Look over there." Trin pointed to the next bed in the makeshift infirmary. Juhani lay sleeping peacefully.
Bastila sat up suddenly, "But—I killed her, didn't I? Is this more madness?"
"No madness," said Trin sadly, "At Zhar or Darth Travious' urging you did try to kill her. Fortunately, your knowledge of Cathari biology is poor."
"What?"
"You missed her heart, and delivered a terrible blow to the Cathari equivalent of an appendix. She'll be fine."
"Have you spoken to her? Has she said anything?"
"She still loves you, Bastila. But, well you two will have to work it out yourselves."
Bastila's chin dropped to her chest and she sighed.
"Bastila, Juhani asked me about the fight on the Star Forge and about the dreams." Trin paused as if she wished she didn't have to say it. "I told her everything I knew. Both sides of it."
"I trust you." Bastila realized, with surprise that she did trust Trin. "I know how guilt has weighed on you and that you were likely more than fair to me."
"Bastila, much of the confusion and anger was due to Darth Travious' influence. Juhani knows that too."
Bastila looked sadly over at Juhani. "At least I have hope, this time."
Trin said nothing for a long time. "The Masters are leaving for Coruscant, they've made arrangements to take both of you with them. Once you are both healed if you would like to join us in hiding you are welcome."
Bastila nodded. "You are taking him up on his offer. I think, Juhani and I need some time to find our way both individually and together. Besides, the Order could use a couple of friendly critics."
Trin nodded. "Bye for now Bastila. Say good-bye to Juhani for me."
Bastila waved absent-mindedly then turned to watch Juhani's peacefully sleeping face. I can make it up to her. I can be a better lover, a better partner and a better friend.
Trin left the infirmary tent and walked briskly to Carth's side. Carth put an arm around her shoulder, "Ready."
"Yeah, I am ready."
"The local air traffic controller, " he pointed his thumb over his shoulder at a droid using a console under a leanto, "would like us to wait until morning to blast off that ridge. That gives us an evening to fill."
"Yes, because we have nothing to do."
"Nothing that can't wait until morning."
"Fair enough. What is it you have in mind, flyboy?"
"Dinner out."
Trin's right eyebrow rose. "Do I get to choose the restaurant?"
"Well, due to the lack of local facilities, dinner out will literally be dinner out as in outside, cooked over a fire."
"Sounds fun but"
Carth put a hand on her waist and guided her up the steep path to the bluff top ahead of him. "No buts. Dustil and Mission are taking care of Liera. Jolee's around somewhere, and we'll be less than 30 feet from the ship. You grab a couple of sleeping bags and some pillows and meet me over there." He pointed to the far end of the bluff.
At the top of the path Trin turned around to look at Carth, "I don't know sounds like a lot of work."
Carth leaned down and brushed her lips with his own then whispered huskily in her ear. "I promise to make it worth your while, gorgeous."
Trin nodded and headed into the ship. She found the sleeping bags and pillows stowed in the main area. As she bundled them together she heard voices just outside the ship. She tiptoed forward to listen.
Josna stood in the darkness at the foot the Ebon Hawk's ramp and blocked Jolee's quiet exit. "Where are you off to old man?"
"I think that's my business, Josna."
"Running again," she tapped her foot, "There is no time for the fear of yours Jolee Bindo."
"Can't an old man find some peace?"
"Alone, sulking among the ruins, I doubt it."
"I am not sulking, I'm resting. She no longer needs me."
"She never needed you. The Force has chosen a student for you Jolee, now is not the time to run."
"You train him, I have no patience for young fools anymore. Besides my record is not good."
"Mine is better?"
"Josna," he pleaded, "Don't make me do this."
"Make you? Don't be silly. I'm not here to tell you what to do, I'm just reminding you of your obligations to humanity. I certainly hope Dustil does not become some kind of monster without a teacher to guide him."
Jolee stood with his back to her at the bottom of the ramp. "He's a strong kid, he'll be fine."
"He'll need guidance, and someone who can keep him in line."
"You could do that."
"I have my own apprentice and she's going to be a handful."
"Josna," he whispered solemnly, "All I can see is Nayama—I could fail again."
"Of course you could. But you could succeed. Let go of her, Jolee, she's dead and gone, let her rest."
"Fine. Fine. You've pushed me into. I'll take him as an apprentice. So much for quiet retirement."
Josna snorted.
Trin walked heavily down the ramp. "Settled?"
Jolee harrumphed.
"Good, we're leaving at first light. Jolee why don't you show Josna around our ship."
Jolee eyed the armful of bedding Trin carried. "Where are you going?"
Trin grinned, "Stargazing."
Jolee harrumphed again as he grabbed Josna's bags and led her up the ramp into the Hawk.
Trin walked lightly around the ship towards the small fire Carth had built at the other end of the bluff. He squatted next to the fire poking at the burning plant fiber blocks with a thick reed. He turned to smile warmly and reach out his arms welcomingly when he heard her approach. They made a nest of the blankets and pillows Trin carried then Carth deftly used a dagger to pull to open cans away from the edge of the fire. He upended each can on a plate, plunked a spoon down in the middle of each pile of lumpy brown sludge and handed one plate to Trin. Despite its unappealing presentation the protein stew smelled delicious.
"Thank you, kind sir."
Carth grabbed Trin's hand and kissed the inside of her wrist. "You are welcome, Milady." He sat behind her, she melted into his chest with a sigh and they ate in companionable silence content to enjoy the rare peaceful moment.
Trin set her plate aside atop Carth's empty dish and looked up into his face. "So, how are things going with Dustil?"
"Fine," he grinned, "actually better than that. He called me Dad today."
"That must feel good."
"Yeah, very good. I think Dustil and I are going to find a way to be father and son. I don't know how close we'll be, but there will be something."
"I'm so glad, Carth." She squeezed his arms and he held her closer. "You should know, Josna has made some decisions for our children."
"Oh?" he asked warily.
"She's informed me that Liera must be her apprentice, that she needs a strong mind to help curb her tendency to pry."
Carth snorted, "While that is probably true, what makes her think you are not a strong mind?"
Trin shook her head. "I don't know, I just hope she's right because I can't handle her alone. I have to admit despite the brevity of our acquaintance I'm inclined to trust her."
" I know what you mean, but we've both been burnt before." Carth looked up at the night sky. Trin couldn't see his face when he asked flatly, "What has she planned for Dustil?"
"She's convinced Jolee to stay with us and take Dustil as his apprentice."
"Jolee!" He looked down into her face. "Convinced him?"
Trin nodded pensively, "He's reluctant, not because of Dustil, because of his wife, Nayama."
Carth sat silently for a few moments, Trin waited patiently. Carth finally spoke slowly, "Dustil needs training. I think out of all the choices, Jolee is the best choice."
"But you aren't sure?"
"I just wish," he paused and ran his fingers through his hair, "I wish it wasn't necessary but I've seen Dustil calling on the Force. I'm not even sure if he's aware that he's doing it." Carth shook his head as though to shake the concerns loose from his head. "Enough, this time is for us, we can worry about all our futures tomorrow."
Trin pulled up onto her knees and turned to face him. "But Carth we need to discuss..."
He rested his fingers gently on her lips until she fell silent, then he lean in and kissed her gently. "Tomorrow," he whispered.
"Tomorrow," she sighed gently in agreement.
They slipped gratefully into the forgetful paradise of intimacy in their nest of blankets under the stars.
Josna watched Jolee and Dustil converse. They are a good match. Jolee is the perfect antidote for Dustil's pessimism and seriousness. With a sigh the Twi'lek Jedi turned to face her charge. The indignant child stood with her hands on her hips staring malevolently at her. "I can't hear my Mama 'cause you are in the way."
"Yes, Liera," Josna responded calmly, "I am in the way."
"Get out of my way, I want to hear my Mama."
"It's good that you are verbalizing these commands, Liera."
Liera stomped her foot. "I'm not verbizing, I want you to go." The precocious child aimed a clumsy Force push in Josna's direction.
With an amused twist of her lips she reflected the push back at the little girl. Liera stumbled backward two steps then fell squarely on her rear end. She stood up slowly and narrowed her eyes. "You think without making any noise. I don't like you."
"That's too bad, Liera, because we're going to be spending a lot of time together."
"Why?"
"I am here to train you."
"Mama, doesn't want the Jedi mens to train me."
"I am not part of the Jedi order. She is going to let me train you."
"But—but Mama said I she wouldn't go away from me again." She attempted to mentally summon her mother, Trin but Josna blocked the attempt.
"I am joining you and your mother, Liera."
"Where is Mama?"
"Inconveniently enough she needs to spend some time with someone else, tonight and this time you will not be interrupting her."
"But she's my Mama, she said so, she said so."
"Yes, she is your Mama but that is not all she is Liera. Your Mama is many things to many people."
Jolee grinned meaningfully at Dustil.
"Now," Josna said briskly, "we're going to start with some ground rules. You will not listen to anyone else's thoughts without their permission. You will not mind call others unless it is an emergency. You will not tell people what they should think, do or believe. You will ask for what you need out loud. You will learn to use the Force properly and considerately. You will spend time with your mother and the other people you like. You will have lots of time to play every day."
"I get to play every day."
"Yes."
Liera stepped closer to Josna and whispered, "Do I get to keep Mr. Booba?"
Josna was briefly privy to an image Liera projected of a battered, well-loved rag doll.
"Yes."
"Okay," she said firmly. Then in conscious but unmalicious mimicry said, "I will not make people do the things. I will be trained by you. I will listen to your words. I will say my thinks out loud. I will go back to bed."
Josna nodded in satisfaction.
Liera looked curiously over at Jolee and Dustil but under Josna's watchful gaze decided to live up to her promise and headed back to her bunk room.
Jolee chuckled, "I think you are going to be very busy, Josna."
"I told you she'd be a handful. Ever since her rescue from the Star Forge she's had everything her own way. The time for fair discipline had arrived. So, Dustil, are you going to let this old crustacean teach you?"
"I don't know, I'd like to talk to my father and think about it a bit."
"No rush."
Dustil stood away from the table. "I can talk to him tonight and get back to you in the morning, sir."
Both Josna and Jolee put a hand on Dustil's shoulder and they pushed him gently back into his seat.
"Not tonight," said Jolee gently.
"He said, he'd be nearby if I needed" Dustil's face twisted in dismay, "Oh."
Bastila watched the gentle rise and fall of Juhani's chest. It was the only visible evidence that her injured lover lived. Bastila watched and waited with trepidation. I wish I could wake her and get this over with, even rejection would be better than waiting to see if she'll give me another chance. Bastila could remember the feelings and the peculiar mind set that had led her to act so irrationally, but she could no longer put herself in that place.
She remembered the hopeless conviction that Juhani was lost to her and that they couldn't live without each other. At the time it seemed inevitable that Juhani would die. She remembered gazing fondly at Juhani's peacefully sleeping face to memorize every sweet line. She remembered pulling back with her lightsaber then thrusting it through Juhani's chest. Juhani's eyes had flown open for a moment, she met Bastila's gaze briefly. Bastila remembered smiling reassuringly as the shock washed away leaving behind a undignified, slack jawed, empty expression. At that moment, Bastila did not feel sadness or guilt, she didn't feel angry, she felt relieved.
From the perspective of a day later, with her mental freedom assured, there were clearly so many other options, so many choices she had not let herself explore or consider on the previous morning. Could I have explored them? Was that me, was it the pressure from the Force bond with Trin or was it something Master Zhar or Darth Travious in my mind? I must be positive. I will find some peace, after a time. There is some hope that I will find that peace standing by Juhani's side.
Juhani's eyes fluttered open. Bastila sat still, her mind suddenly blank. Juhani stared at the ceiling quietly for a few moments before she turned her head to look at Bastila and sighed sadly. Bastila shrank into herself at that melancholy sound. Juhani turned her head to look the other direction. An orderly noticed the movement and bustled to the side of the Cathari's cot.
"You must be bursting," she twittered, "You'll be weak at first dearie, let me help you to the fresher. The medics had to perform an emergency hespendectomy, but you'll be fine, just fine." The dark haired woman helped Juhani out of the room. Bastila waited desperately for Juhani to return. Will she return? Will she listen to me? Should she listen to me? Am I good for Juhani?
Juhani returned to the room under her own power. "Bastila, the medic will be coming to see me soon." Bastila looked up hopefully into her lover's face, Juhani reached out towards her hands. "Help me heal, so that we might leave this place."
Bastila scrambled over to the next cot and took Juhani's hands. Together the slipped into a meditative trance and used the Force to heal both their bodies. Bastila sensed her lover's commitment and fear.
Juhani sighed and leaned back. "Your rage is gone and your resentment has dissipated but still I fear for you."
"I'm, so sorry Juhani. I—I felt as though I were possessed. I should have been strong enough to protect you."
Juhani squeezed Bastila's hand. "I am struggling with anger but I know that was not you, not your betrayal. I was aware of the events on the mound. The malignant presence that overwhelmed you, Darth Travious, wanted your betrayal and fall to be complete. He knew that if you killed Trin then discovered I still lived it might push you over the edge, past despair and into blind rage."
"All this and I perceived nothing."
"Your connection to the Force was within his fist."
"I should have looked at the world with more than the Force. I have been a Jedi too long, I need to remember to be a person too."
"Yes, my Bastila." Juhani sighed. "I am having difficulty forgiving you right now, but I will, I know that in the long run I will."
"Juhani, I'm angry with myself, too."
Juhani leaned forward to rest her forehead against Bastila's. "We will find a way through these feelings, together."
The medic arrived at the door. "What are you two doing up?" he asked, "You may be able to heal faster than some others but that just means you need more rest. Now, get some sleep."
"We were hoping," began Juhani.
The medic waved his hands impatiently, "No, no, no. Sleep, not meditate, for another eight hours and then I will release you."
Bastila slipped back into her own bed under the medic's paternal glare. He waited impatiently for them to both settle under their blankets then turned off the light and closed the door.
"Juhani?"
"Yes, my Bastila."
Bastila smiled in the darkness. My Bastila. "I love you."
"I know, my Bastila. Now sleep, let us regain our strength."
Some hours later Bastila woke to the sounds of an argument. "I don't care if you are a representative from the Great Gods of Coruscant themselves, you will not be disturbing my patients."
"Your patients are wanted for treason to the Republic."
"My patients are both members of the Jedi council, you'll have to take any warrant up with them."
"Look doctor," Bastila could hear someone rummaging in a bag of some sort, "I don't want to bother the council with these things, you could just stretch your legs for a few moments. The Jedi, being upstanding members of the republic, will no doubt want to come with us to straighten this mess out."
"Maybe flashing credits sways the degenerate core world peoples but here on the rim we depend on our reputations and something called integrity. Now, get out away from this tent. I will let the Jedi know you wish to talk to them when they wake."
"You're making enemies in high places, medic."
"You're standing where I planted my new herb garden, captain."
The republic officer stomped away and Bastila drifted back to sleep.