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Kira's PoV

Surprisingly, things went back to normal pretty fast. Two days at most was all it took for the gossip to simmer down about Deborah's deception. Throughout the week people I never met asked me questions and made their comments on the situation. My friends who had sided with Deborah showed how sorry they were in different ways. Violette came over to my house for an unexpected visit to apologize and invite me out for dinner. Iris and the rest slowly but certainly merged back with our group after asking for forgiveness as a group. They avoided eye contact with me for a bit but soon it was like old times. The person I most wanted to talk to never showed up for school during the week after that fateful Tuesday. Lysander had told me to give him some time, but I was done waiting.

Sun had shone for the last few days, so you could almost feel that the worst of the winter was over. It was Saturday night. Four days had gone by since the Deborah incident. I had finally taken the decision of talking with Castiel into my own hands. Outside of Castiel's house, my finger was hesitating over the doorbell. Silence had encased Castiel's house. No lights were ever on. No sounds. No music. No movement. No sign of Castiel. It was as if the house had been abandoned. Praying that he would actually talk to me, I submitted to my fate and pressed the doorbell.

It only took a minute before the door opened. Dressed in a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. A can of beer in his hand. It was if Castiel had given up. It was the sight of him in such despair, in such trouble that my mind grew blank. Over and over again I had prepared something to say to him. Now, not even a simple hi would do because we had stared at each other for the last three minutes.

"You come here to gloat?" he asked raising the can to his lips.

I looked him in the eye. "No," I said straightforwardly.

Castiel's hand stilled, stopping him from drinking the beer. There was an alertness about him that made me think this was his first beer he had tonight at least. "Then why are you here?"

"Is that your first one?" I inquired changing the subject.

A self-deprecating smile graced his lips. Pouring the last drops of liquid on his tongue, Castiel leaned down to my eye level. "First one tonight. Why do you care?" He snarled crumpling the can and throwing it back into the house onto the floor.

He must have been wasted most of this week. Drinking in the dark, and not taking care of himself. I doubt Lysander would have told me to wait if he knew this was what Castiel had done with his time. "Because I care about you, Castiel." This wasn't Castiel. Castiel never turned pitiful. Castiel gets pissed and takes it on everyone around him. I had expected a fight not this.

"As a friend," Castiel finished. Straightening himself up, he turned around to shut the door. Done with our conversation.

Sticking my foot out I wouldn't let the door close. "No, I don't care about you as a friend." This definitely piqued his interest. Letting the door swing wide open, I took the chance to enter his house.

Smashed cans of beer laid everywhere. Opening the curtains I tried to let some light in. Indifferently, Castiel watched me as I began tidying up the house. "How do you care about me then?"

Pausing in my endeavors to make the inside of the house livable, I met his eyes. "Get yourself cleaned up, and I will tell you."

Castiel sighed exasperated, but he did what he was told. Disappearing upstairs, I could hear him turn the shower on. Instead of waiting for him I continued to pick up his mess. It may have been only 4 days but it took a longer time than I expected to put everything back in its proper place. I labored away on the house with the goal to have everything sparkly clean before Castiel came down.

Even after I finished, Castiel still hadn't come down though the showed had stopped going awhile ago. I didn't know why he had to prepare himself so well to have a chat with me. Exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically I had concluded on waiting for him on the couch. Apparently, I hadn't even fathomed how tired I actually was because after a few minutes I fell asleep.

I awakened to find myself in the compromising place of having Castiel's head on my shoulder. How in the world did this happen? My first instinct was to pull away screaming bloody murder. Thankfully, my mind was so foggy that all I could do was tense my whole body with wide eyes and start breathing as if I had been in a marathon. Holy shit. What happened last night? A fuzzy memory of me coming over to Castiel's house and talking with him and cleaning and falling asleep on this exact couch drifted through my brain where the words 'holy crap' kept repeating themselves. With that logical memory in mind the only thing I could do was to look at my current situation.

The couch I had fell asleep on was exactly the same. Minus the boy and the discarded blanket next to the couch. Light was filtering its way through the window signalling it was day. I had slept soundly and comfortably this whole time. Comfortable and sound would not be how I would describe what I was feeling at that moment. Castiel, himself seemed extremely comfy and in no position to move.

Besides his lips almost on my neck, Castiel had one arm underneath me and one on top. His toned arm was just above my waist leaving the hand drooping off the side of the couch. His other equally well muscled arm was stretched across my stomach leaving that hand just above its counterpart. Since the couch was too short for Castiel he had one leg bent where it rested on top of my own two legs while the other was left hanging off the end of the couch. While I was straight and tense with both my arms and legs trapped underneath one of Castiel's own, he seemed to be hugging me like a beloved stuffed animal. If I tilted my head just right I could feel the softness of his hair on my cheek. Tempted, only the humiliation swelling within in me stopped any thought of following through with that course of action.

"Castiel!" I said urgently while wiggling. "Let me go!"

"I'm still tired," Castiel yawned snuggling closer.

This is torture. Pure torture. Dammit! I wanted to touch him, but I didn't dare. "I don't care. You better tell me what is going on, Castiel Hayes, before I call the police!"

He snorted at me. Turning his head, Castiel rested his chin underneath my shoulder-blade. His grey eyes were unwavering as they gazed into my own. "Not until you tell me what you were going to say last night."

Stumped. Stupefied. Speechless. The sudden turn of events made my heart flip. The normal Castiel was back. Determined and prideful, Castiel wouldn't let me go until I told him the truth. I refused to speak.

"You told me after I got cleaned up you would tell me how you cared about me," Castiel's tone was teasing but his eyes were completely serious. "Now here I am, clean, sober, and I'm not letting you go until I hear it."

I took a long pained breath. Telling him last night had seemed so easy. I would have done anything to get him out of his stupor. It seemed like Castiel had needed a reminder that people care about him, that people love him. If it meant getting the self-serving bastard back, I was prepared to confess my true feelings. Now this. Now this mountain sized amount of trouble, who got angry in a second, who acted like he didn't care about anybody, like he didn't need anybody is back. Last night, I had the bravado and courage to try to drag Castiel out of his grief. This morning, I'm just a teenage girl on the verge of opening her heart to one who had already injured it many times. Who had fought with her. Who had insulted her. Who had betrayed her. The one who she loved.

I wanted to close my eyes when I told him. I wanted to throw the words at him as if they didn't hold the key to my heart. I wanted the ability to run away unhurt if needed. But... my eyes never strayed from his, the words themselves were shaky but sincere, and I might have been captured in his arms, but I was so fixated on him that my body itself didn't want to move away. "I care because I am in love with you, Castiel."

His breathing hitched in his throat. "Kira," he said, so gently so sadly that a feeling of overwhelming fear took hold. Castiel was going to let me down easy. Tell me that he didn't feel the same way, but we could still be friends. My heart didn't just sink, it contorted in pain as it plummeted from my chest down to an abyss. Shoving Castiel away from me, I tumbled from the couch and on the floor. I tried to scramble off of the floor and sprint towards the exit but my feet got tangled in the blanket. "Kira," Castiel exclaimed wrapping an arm around my waist as I tried to leave. Pulling me to him, Castiel sat up.

"I don't want to hear it," I weakly wailed as I was placed on his lap. Each wrist captured by his hands I could only shake my head furiously. After a moment of thrashing I resigned myself to defeat, and rested my forehead on his chest so I wouldn't have to look at his face.

His voice was soft but stern, "You don't even know what I'm going to say yet."

Adrenaline still coursing through my veins I trembled in his grip. "Of course I do. The way you said my name already told me what was coming."

"Kira, look at me." I let out a whimper. God no. I don't want to see that pained look in his eyes. "Look. At. Me." Wrenching my eyes open as if it took everything I had, I gazed sorrowfully at him. "What did my tone sound like?"

"It was soft because I'm a friend of yours, but it was sad because you knew you were going to have to hurt me."

Castiel sett his forehead against my own. My vision became consumed with his steel grey eyes. "My tone was sad because I knew how much pain I had already put you through. My tone was soft because I am talking to the girl I am in love with."

"You can't be," I spat so wanting it to be true. "You are in love with Deborah, that is why you have been so depressed lately."

Castiel growled in frustration. Sharply, he yanked my down so I was lying on the couch with him above me. Red strands tickling my cheeks, Castiel stared at me as he spoke, "Do you know why I hesitated so much in going with Deborah?" His warm breath dusted my lips. "If I was in love with her, and I was going to accomplish my dream there should have been nothing holding me back. But there was. One thing was holding me back." His grip tightened. "It was you, Kira, the one that was holding me back was you. Somewhere, somehow, I had fallen in love with you. I didn't want to leave you. The reason I haven't been showing up to school? I didn't want to see the girl I had let down. Who I loved but betrayed. The idea that you might never smile or talk to me again was maddening. That is why I haven't been to school. That is why I hadn't gone with Deborah straight away. It was all you, Kira. It was always you."

"Castiel," I whispered.

He responded by crashing his lips onto my own. Our teeth clinked together but neither of us cared. Removing his hands from my wrists, he cradled my head with one and arched my back with the other. Castiel left no space in between our two bodies. Entangling my fingers into his hair, I pulled him towards me. The combination of his forcefulness and the emotions gripping me made me close my eyes. I gasped in surprise when I fell his nails dig into the small of my back. Taking advantage of that, Castiel deepened the kiss in an almost unbearable manner. Painful yet pleasurable, I groaned in ecstasy. Whether it was the alcohol from last night or just Castiel himself, I could feel my tongue began to burn with an intoxicating fire. Addicted, the sweet promise of another taste made me yearn for more. When we had our fill of each other, Castiel and I parted, panting.

Castiel got off of me, so I could sit up. Side by side but not touching we sat next to each other on the couch as we tried to catch our breath. Castiel, blushing as red as his now messy hair, faced me. He didn't touch me as if he was afraid of igniting another session of whatever just happened. "Well," he chuckled, "I guess that means we are going out now."

I barked out a laugh. "Yeah. I guess that means we are."