Izaya took a deep breath to steady himself.
"But you see, 'my best' is rather shoddy. I can't figure out things all that well. At times, I am not even sure of who I am. It's all so confusing but somehow I'll have to push through. Because I'm your big brother, Orihara Izaya. I'll probably get confused again- somewhere along the way- but at least I am not alone. Shizu-chan will help me. So you don't have to worry. Please be at peace. I love you both, Kururi, Mairu. Bye now."
Izaya waved. His hand slowly parting the shade as he knew that this was the last time he saw this simulacrum of his sisters who stood on the other side of the stream and waved back at him. Before turning back and disappeared into the woods. It was a long time until Izaya left this spot where his tears wetted the rich earth.
Shizuo carried him down the stairs, all two thousand. Izaya was a very light burden. He felt as if he held in his arms a bird with broken but healing wings, perhaps the white crane itself. The silence was only interrupted by Shizuo's slow steps against the stone as he took his time that he knew Izaya required. It was as if they were alone on this Earth under the blind courts of stars above. A gentle breeze scattered about the scent of flowers blooming in the dark.
"It never gets this dark in Tokyo."
"Yeah. Too many neons."
"Shizu-chan, I don't think I want to go back to Tokyo. It's just- too much for me."
The grinding pressure of the city could only unravel him further.
"That's okay. I thought that you'd feel that way so I already made plans. I'll stay here with you."
Izaya blinked and tilted his head up to better see Shizuo.
"You thought ahead? That's rare."
"Thought I'd give country life a go."
"Heh…Shizu-chan? Thank you."
"No need to thank me."
Back in the house there was only one thing to do. Shizuo knew that it was so. He undressed Izaya without hurrying, undoing the yukata until it pooled at his ankles that Shizuo noted were slender. As was his entire body, like delicate silver. Shizuo kissed him and asked him if it would be alright to do this. As a reply he got a nod and a very faint smile. He brushed his fingers along the smooth lines of flesh.
"You really are beautiful, Izaya."
"It's a bit weird when you say that."
"Sorry…"
Izaya sat next to Shizuo, very comfortable in his nakedness.
"It's okay. I just don't know why you want to do this with me. It's because you feel sorry for me but- if there is more to it…I mean, even if there isn't, I still want it but- I'm not making much sense."
Izaya smiled apologetically. Shizuo cupped his cheek, a gesture that they knew was reassuring.
"Pity doesn't have anything to do with this, Izaya. When I said that I loved you I meant it."
Izaya's hands were folded on his lap without hiding the great frailty that was so unassuming.
"Even if you say that, Shizu-chan…what's there to love? Lately there is nothing I can do right. You've been carrying me this whole time, literally and otherwise. Even if I'm like this I can tell that you're in pain."
Shizuo held him closely.
"Don't worry too much about it. Lovers share the good and the bad, right?"
"Lovers…?"
Shizuo placed him on his knee where he sat as an unstrung puppet.
"Isn't that what you want? For us to become lovers?"
Izaya frowned a bit and rubbed his forehead.
"Of course it is. I've been in love with you for such a long time. But is that what you want? I don't want to burden you with…with this hole that I feel inside. It's not fair to you, Shizu-chan. If you stay with me…I can't pay you for all you've done for me so if you decide to stay with me as a lover, the debt I owe you will only grow-"
"I've already decided. So if you'll have me, Izaya, we'll be together."
Izaya kissed him. The initiative was his as he did away with Shizuo's clothes and brought their naked bodies together. Shizuo handed over control to Izaya and marveled at how small as he was, he still could so easily take the reins. There was no need for further words. Shizuo would never be able to ask how Izaya had gained the experience to be so smooth about it. Maybe it did not even matter.