Hey guys.. Take your time and read Oliveroxx96 and her story Always & Forever. She is a new writer and she is doing good.

As for this chapter is going to be hard. No. Spencer is not dead.. For now.. ;)

Chapter 26

Spencer's POV

Did you ever have the chance to travel by plane? That heavenly silence above the clouds, the sadness down on earth with rain and snow when above everything is so calm, so perfect? I traveled a lot in my life and every time I feel like I am touching God when I am flying. I feel that I am close to something beyond us. Something pure. That's how I feel now watching from my window the clouds. And the sky.. So beautiful. For a moment I forgot where I am going and if I am going to have that silence again.

The other photographers were already in Iraq. I was the last one that would arrive. The last one and the younger one. All were professionals with amazing work till now in National Geographic and awards. To work with them was something I was hoping for. To work in that particular project.. It wasn't.

When I arrived at the airport I knew that would be someone waiting for me there. The village that we would stay was a two hour drive away. Someone Mr. Ali Sanri would wait for me at the airport and he would take me there. Once I arrived I searched for that sign and when I found the man I remembered my first trip to California and my grandparents waiting for me with that sign. At that moment I thought about Ashley.

"Ms Carlin?"

"Yes, Mr Sanri?"

"Yes Ms. Follow me. I have the car outside waiting"

Going outside I didn't expect it to be like that. It didn't remind me of what I read and seen. It was just another country, another airport.

"Ms Carlin, lets go please. We have to leave now because later on the troops would be near the village"

And then reality hit me. What he said brought me back to reality. It wasn't another airport in Europe. It wasn't another bright city. It was a country of pain, a city of crying and the city of death.

Our village was between Baghdad and the city of Ramadi. Only 2000 people were leaving there. So that meant we were close to the center of the war.

"How was your trip Ms Carlin?"

"It was nice. Thank you"

Mr Sanri didn't look like an Arab. At least not the kind we were used to. He seemed European and his English were very good except from the accent of course. I was curious about him..

"Mr Sanri. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course Ms"

"What exactly you are doing here?"

"I am a doctor actually. I was born here but when I was eighteen years old I moved to England with my family. When I finished college I decided to come here and help children and families that had no money. And after the war happened I couldn't leave. So I am still here"

"I see. So your family is still in England?"

"Yes. My mother, father and three sisters are still there"

"I am sure they are worried for you"

"They are. Here it's very difficult as you already know. It was for years but with the war everything changed for the worst. You have to be very careful Ms"

"Thank you. I have a family that worries about me too"

"Stay close with the other photographers and close to the soldiers. Everything is going to be fine"

"I hope so"

The two hour drive was like I was playing in a movie of Emir Kusturica. I was looking outside and I all I could see was houses abandoned, houses destroyed, and people on the streets walking to nowhere. Soldiers and army jeeps. I felt my heart stop at the sight. I felt small. Being a photographer it's not easy. Now I understand how difficult it is to be a war correspondent. What they see every day. Yes, coming here wasn't my choice but being here it was starting changing me as a person even if I was there only for two hours.

"We are here Ms. You are going to stay with the other photographers in that house over there. I am going to be here whenever and for anything you will need."

"Thank you Mr Sanri"

I didn't have a lot of things with me. Only what I needed. Things that I wouldn't find here. And of course no shorts or dresses or anything girly. Pants and long shirts with long sleeves.

"Carlin you are here. We were waiting for you"

"Hey John. Where are the others?"

"They are somewhere here. So.. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I could be regarding the place John and the conditions"

"I guess you are right"

John was a very good photographer. He wasn't that older from me. He was thirty two and he already traveled all over the world. China, Europe, Australia. Think of a country and city. He has been there. It wasn't the first time for him photographing war or the consequences of the war. He was one of the best and he was a good friend.

"John will you excuse me for a moment? I need to call my family"

"Of course Carlin. I am sure they are worried"

"Thank you"

I turned my cell to international. I knew that this would cost me a lot of money but I couldn't not hear Ashley's voice or my parents. First I called my parents and then Ashley. My parents asked me how was my trip, where I was staying, if everything was ok. The told me to be careful once again and call them again tomorrow. I told them I loved them and then I called Ashley. After one beep she answered her phone.

"Spence?"

"Hey baby. Yes it's me. How you knew it was me?"

"I saw the unknown number and I knew that you already landed. I called the airport. Why you didn't call me once you landed Spence?"

Hearing her voice reminded me of the clouds and how calm I was up there. Once I heard her voice I thought I was laying right next to her and all I have seen today were gone.

"Ash, I couldn't call you right away. First off someone was with me and I didn't want him to listen to me talking to my girlfriend. So once we were at the village I called you right away"

"How was your trip baby?"

"It was ok."

"And how is everything over there"

"As you know Ash. Whatever we watched on the tv is real. That's all I have to say"

"You made a promise. Please be careful. Ok? Because if something happens to you.."

"Nothing will happen. Our village is protected and we have soldiers night and day. So don't worry. You are too young to have grey hair"

"I am going to look sexy with grey hair as well"

"I am sure you will baby. Ash.. I have to leave. I will call you again tomorrow. Ok? Don't know when but I am going to call you. Love you"

"Love you too Spence. Always. Goodnight baby"

"Goodnight my love"

After we finished our short conversation I felt my eyes tearing. I didn't want to but I couldn't keep my tears back. I had to compose myself though. I had a job to do and I would do it no matter what. And as I promised to my family I would be careful.

After an hour all photographers we were in the living room, or short of a living room. It was me, John and another two men older than John. I didn't know them in person but I knew who they were. Mr Sanri was here too as another Arab man that I didn't know.

"This is Al Yandi Suab. He is going to be your translator in case you need something. He is going to teach you some words and phrases"

Everyone greeted Mr Suab as I did the same. I was the only girl there and I didn't feel comfortable. The good thing is that John was here.

Each one of us had a folder. We knew what we had to do, schedule, time, where to go. We would take our photographs but we had to be close next to each other. We knew where we were and I am sure that no one was trying to play it a hero.

"Let's get some rest. Tomorrow is a big day and we have to get up early. Spencer. This is going to be your room. John, Ted and me we are going to share the other room"

"Thank you."

"Tomorrow at 6am sharp we have to be ready and leave. No one is allowed to be late. You heard me?"

"Yes, Tomas. We know."

My room had only a bed and a washbasin. The whole house didn't have a bathroom. We had to go outside. It reminded me of how houses were back in 1920. I didn't expect a mansion and I was glad that we at least had a roof over our heads.

I didn't sleep right away. I couldn't actually. I sat there, lying on my back looking my pictures with Ashley. I stopped in one particular. I took that picture when we were back to the states and we were at the beach. She didn't know that I was taking her a picture. She had her feet in the water and she was looking at the ocean. I stood up from where I was sitting and I captured her while the sun was setting. Once I took that picture I came behind her and wrapped my hands around her. I laid my head on her shoulders and kissed her neck. I remember that day so clear. It was like it happened yesterday. I refused to cry again. I tried to close my eyes and dream of Ashley.

Next day I woke up at 5am. As Tomas said I couldn't be late and I wasn't planning to. I washed my face and visited the outdoor bathroom. Dressed and had a cup of coffee. None of the guys were up till 5.30am. They were ready thought at 6am. Men will always be men. We took our cameras and our passes and got inside the jeep that was waiting for us outside.

"Gentlemen and lady. We are going to arrive at the target in twenty minutes. You are going to stay there for half an hour. You are not allowed to leave the place. You have to be close to us. Not think of doing anything stupid. Here it's war and not a party."

"Yes, sir" we said unison. He was kind of scary. But I am sure he has seen more death that all of us will ever seen.

"You are here. Remember. Half an hour. Do what you have to do and be careful"

"Yes, sir"

We were in a village next to ours. It was destroyed. We stepped outside the jeep and we all started taking pictures. No one tried to leave our circle. No man, woman or child. I was very careful of where I was walking. I could see blood on the walls and ground. My hands started shaking. I had to compose myself. I tried to get inside a house and take a picture. I thought that it wouldn't be anyone inside. But I was wrong. A dead family was laying there with white sheets to cover their bodies. I felt my stomach coming up to my mouth. I couldn't take that picture. I wanted to take some air. Once I was outside I threw up and tried to support myself on the wall. That's when John came and I felt his hand on my shoulder

"Spencer.. What is it? Are you ok?" I couldn't talk. I shook my head no. I couldn't say the words. John went inside and in seconds he was back outside sitting next to me. "It's ok. Relax. Spencer, it's going to be ok. Here. Take some water"

I took the water he offered me and spit some of it. I didn't know why those people were still inside. Why no one did anything about them. Why they didn't bury them.

"Let's go Spencer. Let's go back to the car. Here. Let me help you"

He put his hands behind my back to support me and helped me walk there. The soldier came and I needed to ask him that question that was still inside me. Why?

"Sir, there were.. people.. there.. dead.. a family. No one? No one took care of them?"

"Ms, this village was bombardised four days ago. We had to make sure how many people were alive. As for the dead we couldn't do anything. It's not in our charge"

"But.. but.. they are.. human beings.. You can't let them there"

It was like I was talking to a wall. I couldn't understand how they were thinking. I knew that I was here only for a day but I wouldn't let those people unburied if I was them.

"We should leave. Half an hour is over."

Tomas and Ted were here too. They saw me and John and asked immediately what happened. John told them while the soldier was on the wheel, expressionless.

How I could call my family and tell them I was ok? How I could call my family and tell them of what I have seen? I couldn't. I had to tell them I was ok and for them not to worry. It was only my first day.

In our village where photographers from all over the world, journalists, doctors. It was the center of everything. It was a small community. Once we were back I tried to find Mr Sanri. I wasn't feeling that well after what I have seen and I needed him to give me something to relax.

Once I was back home I took what Mr Sanri gave me and tried to fall asleep. I couldn't call my family or Ashley at that time. If I did I would cry and I would make them worry. Something I didn't want to do.

I slept for a couple of hours and when I woke up it was already noon. I knew that in the evening we would go to Baghdad. So if I were to call I had to make that call now. This time I called Ashley first.

"Spence?"

"It's me Ash"

"What is it? Are you ok?"

"Of course I am. Why?"

"Because you don't sound like that" she knew me so well. She always knew only by hearing my voice.

"I am just tired baby. That's all"

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Yes, sweetie. Just tired"

"How was it today?"

"Difficult. Not what I expected"

"I am sorry baby"

"It's going to be ok. Don't worry. Ash I have to call my parents. I hate that I can't talk to you more. I want you to know that I love you very much"

"I know Spence. I miss you and I love you too. Call me tomorrow again. Ok? Love you baby"

"Love you too Ash"

I promised myself that whatever I would see here I wouldn't tell my parents and Ashley. It was my hell and not theirs. What happened today it was difficult and in order for me to complete my assignment I had to be a photographer and do my job.

TBC

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