[+]

Scene 26: The Light Shines In

or

"Once Upon a Time"

It was, indeed, a long and trying day. But it was good, Toriel reflected, to be tried in this way. It was good to purge guilt from oneself when it was possible, but before that could be accomplished, it was necessary to understand the nature of the misdeed one had performed. And Toriel had not known Papyrus, except through Sans's stories. She was therefore delighted to know him further through the stories of others. Toriel had failed to consider the danger her children might pose to the outside world, so worried had she been about what the outside world might do to them. But by attempting to raise humans without taking this into account, she had been playing with fire, and she must never forget that. Fire was a tool and a sacrament; it could be shaped and used and tempered and even loved, but it was not to be played with. Toriel's mother had taught her that as a child, and she remembered the lesson well. She had even taught it to Natalia, whose own love for fire had been downright unhealthy.

And she had known how dangerous humans could be. They were strong and willful and fiercely material, and could dissipate the stuff of monsters with a mere few blows. She could still feel the spot in her side where her eighth child had shot her with an imaginary bullet; she had bled copiously nonetheless. Aside from that terrible day, she had taken care not to let her children harm her or the monsters about the Ruins. And yet somehow, the presence of Asgore's regime had blinded her to the danger that they might inflict on monsters outside her domain. In a way it was an understandable oversight, but she had overlooked it for nine centuries. Now her error had plunged her kindest and most valued friend into a profound grief. Toriel was guilty, and for that, she was doing penance today.

"HE TALKED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME," said a red-orange monster with horns. "And he was always grinning, except when he was angry. And sometimes even then!"

"Wh-why would he grin if he was angry?" asked Alphys.

"He couldn't help it! That's just how he was made."

"So then… his smile didn't mean anything?"

"Oh, no, it made him feel better, whether he wanted to or not! He got angry about little things, but he never stayed that way for long."

"And he was an optimist," said the mouse accompanying the first monster, speaking through a thick scarf. "To an absurd degree."

"What do you mean?" asked Toriel.

"Once I asked him what was going to happen when Snowdin got too crowded. He thought for a while before coming out with, 'More parties?' He was adorable. We're going to miss him a lot, I just know it."

The two of them were dressed in elaborate costumes they had made in collaboration over the course of two days. Toriel was dressed as a Careplane, one of the larger monsters in the Underground. Her body was covered in metal, and her arms were held raised and flat within the broad, perpendicular, heart-emblazoned wings. It was uncomfortable, but bearable. Alphys had embellished herself into a red wormlike monster, segmented and gooey. Toriel could not help but sense a bit of self-hatred in her costume choice, but did not object, because after all, this was a day of penance. Their voices were disguised with filters they wore over their mouths. Alphys had created them without the benefit of tools or laboratory, which made the results she had obtained especially remarkable. Toriel's voice, through a modified pair of colanders hidden inside her nosecone, sounded like an official making announcements over a speaker, while Alphys had managed to make her own voice unctuous and manifold with nothing more than a few straws and the lid of a pepper shaker. Her genius really was as amazing to watch in action as Toriel had hoped.

"He always found the Junior Jumble oddly challenging," said the puzzle designer for the Snowdin Bugle. "More than once, he stormed in insisting that the Jumble that day had no solution. But of course, it always did, and he was always equally amazed when we showed it to him."

"He sounds almost like a child," Toriel ventured.

"He acted like a child," agreed the editor. "With all the exuberance, dreams and wonder you would expect to accompany it."

"B-but he was powerful, right?" asked Alphys, twisting her annelid body.

"He had a lot of will. To be sure, his magic was strong!"

"Then… w-was he dangerous?"

"Oh, dear, no. For all his bluster, he was the gentlest soul you could hope for. He may have made a mess or two, but could never have caused any real harm."

They were posing as interviewers from The Lodestar, Hotland's premier newspaper, doing a monster interest piece on the recent passage of the regicidal human through the underground. No one questioned their story, and nearly everyone they spoke to had something to say about the intrepid sentry who had until recently added vibrancy to their snowy homeland.

"He was good about taking off the junk those teens put on my antlers," said a grumpy old stag. "After I explained how annoying it was, that is. Before that, he was right there with them, loading me up with tchotchke after tchotchke—but that was when for some gobforsaken reason he thought I found it fun."

"He wasn't chill at ALL," said a scaled monster with snowlike plumage and sunglasses. "He was a total poser. The complete OPPOSITE of chill. Like, he always cared SO MUCH and tried SO HARD!"

"A… and being chill means you don't care or try at all?" asked Alphys.

"Ba-ringo. It was embarrassing just looking at him. Heck, it's embarrassing even THINKING about him!

"Ah! The sound of the free press in action! Maybe if I wait, I'll hear it again!"

Toriel knocked on the door a second time. "Does that mean you would like to grant us an interview?"

"Being asked for an interview! How lovely! How flattering! It makes me feel almost important."

"…I do not understand. Is that a yes?"

"And now I'm being asked for clarification! Ahhh, it's good to know the press is in such competent hands."

A passing slime mold interrupted, clearing his throat. "You won't get anything out of him. But if you're asking about the tall skeleton, I can tell you he was a veritable fount of youthful energy!"

"Oh! Did you know him well?" asked Alphys.

"Not at all! But just watching him from a distance made me feel young again."

"Huh? Did he ditch us? Some sentry," said Jerry. Toriel had no idea who any of the other monsters in Snowdin were, but everyone knows Jerry.

"Were you unaware?" said Toriel. "He was slain not long ago by a human that he attempted to capture."

"DUH! Who doesn't know that? Man, he SUCKED at his job."

"W-well, humans are very dangerous," contributed Alphys.

"So is a town without any decent donuts. But does ANYONE care about that? I don't think so!"

"Thanks for your time," said Alphys.

"He was a big part of how things got done around here!" said a pudgy bear in a jacket. "We don't have a mayor, and that means folks have to step up!"

"Did he 'step up' a lot?" asked Toriel.

"He might've been our best stepper! You know, people talk about maturity and competence, but in trying times, what you really need is initiative! Someone who wants to make a difference actually living the talk and making one!"

"Y-you know what?" said Alphys. "I agree! What are you doing for the town?"

The bear looked at himself. "Me? I just tell people about how the work gets done!"

Toriel tilted her wings in a way she hoped conveyed confusion. "You are not willing to step up yourself?"

"Nah, that's for folks like Papyrus. I'm not as interested in helping people as I am in thinking about helping people."

"But… but that's cowardly!" objected Alphys.

"Cowardly? Nah. Thaaaaat's politics!"

They passed through the purple forest doors chatting and laughing with each other. Toriel carefully locked the door behind them and slid down, letting her wingtips rest on the corridor floor. "Ahh. Safe at last!"

Alphys too slumped, her realistic costume exuding slime where she slid. "That was so stressful!"

"But it was no more than we deserved, and now it is over," Toriel replied. She rested a moment before struggling to remove her costume.

"Oh! Right! We get to take these off!" Alphys forced herself up to help Toriel with her wings.

"Finally!" she said, stretching her arms.

"Finally!" exulted Alphys, popping off her tapered head.

The two of them broke into spontaneous laughter as they looked at each other. Then they helped to remove one another's costumes until they were left in their pajamas. Then they laughed again.

"Oh, god, do you think Sans will like me now?" said Alphys.

Toriel felt for her. "I do not know if he is ready to like you. You must realize that will be hard for him. But surely, now that we have done his penance, he will be ready to forgive you."

They approached the stairs, dragging their costumes along behind. Suddenly all laughter was gone, as well it should be. The penitents must not return home merrily. They must return in somber silence, reflecting on the weight of what they had allowed to happen. A childlike, vivacious soul, cut cruelly from his place in the world, leaving an emptiness. That was what their carelessness had wrought. That was the weight they must bear, until they were both absolved and able to cry it away.

"What a p-piece of work I am," said Alphys. "All that joy lost in an instant, and I just… shrugged and ignored it. 'Humans will be humans,' I said. And I went on with my plan. I'm s-s-so self-absorbed!"

And still she was speaking about herself. "It is good that you have been awakened to that fact," Toriel told her. "You will be better able to confront your fault now that you are aware of it."

Alphys swallowed as they climbed the stairs. "I guess. But how can I focus on not being self-absorbed without… being more self-absorbed?"

"We will face that question in good time. For now, it is time for us to face our confessor." They reached the top of the stairs, but Sans was nowhere to be seen. Toriel peeked into the living room. He was not there. She knocked on the door to his bedroom.

"mmp? hol'on. yeah. hi. sorry, you caught me sleeping. just a minute." Not ten seconds later, Sans opened the door, looking somewhat bleary but not much different than usual. "whoops. i even forgot to say 'who's there?' guess that's what i get for taking a before-dinner nap."

Alphys spoke from behind Toriel. "Well… we're back! And we, uh… we did what you said."

"yeah?" The skeleton stood staring for a little too long. "guess we should talk about it, then. but first, let's see if dinner's ready."

Toriel suddenly realized that there had been a nice smell coming from the kitchen. "Did you put something in the oven, Sans?"

He strolled out past them. "yeah, just a beetloaf."

"A… a beetloaf?" asked Alphys.

"i had a few beets lying around the house. pappy never wanted to cook with 'em, but i figured you guys might appreciate them."

Toriel had been expecting to have to make dinner, so this was a welcome surprise. "I will be happy to eat anything you wish to share with us, Sans. But how did you happen to have beets lying around the house?"

"they grow at the salt marsh at the edge of waterfall, in the south, where i like to wander sometimes. when i run across 'em, i can't help but pick 'em."

"But… but why, if your brother doesn't like them?" asked Alphys.

He turned and winked. "when you're in comedy, you don't miss a beet." A rimshot rang through the small house.

He had, as it turned out, made a salad, too. The beetloaf had turned out very well—a striking, juicy red with a soft texture. They brought it to the dining table and enjoyed it, at Sans's insistence, with ketchup. The salad was crisp and complemented it well.

"This is excellent, Sans!" Toriel complimented. "You have been holding out on us."

"nah. i've just been lazy. figured you deserved it, what with the day you were gonna have."

"It's really good," Alphys echoed, greens sticking out of her mouth. "I don't get as many vegetables as I should."

"well, you know what they say about vegetables," said Sans.

"I do not—what do you mean?" said Toriel.

He shrugged. "they're nature's candies."

"Really?"

He paused to absorb a bite. "well, okay. fruits are nature's candies. vegetables are more like nature's fruits."

"That makes a little more sense," agreed Alphys, sipping from her yellow teacup.

Toriel's eyes crossed. "Does it?"

"To me it does!"

"and candies are nature's canned goods," Sans continued.

"Now you are just being silly," Toriel scolded.

"whoops. sorry, tori. i'll behave."

She sighed and exchanged a glance with Alphys. "So."

"so," said Sans.

"You are probably eager to hear about our trip to your hometown."

"dunno if eager's the word. but yeah, i'd like to know what you've learned."

So they began, hesitantly at first, to describe what the townsfolk had told them about Papyrus in response to their questions. Sometimes the two of them took turns; sometimes they spoke over each other, though Toriel tried to keep her interruptions minimal. Dinner ended, but their exposition was far from over. They wandered into the foyer, filling in parts for each other, piping up again and again with quotes they'd forgotten. They barely needed the notes they had taken in their guise as newspaper reporters. Sans barely said anything, so exuberant and open were the two women. Perhaps too exuberant for the somber subject at hand, but they could hardly be blamed if they were excited to have learned, could they?

"…that he sometimes even thought the checkered tablecloths were puzzles," Alphys reported, "and he moved the salt and pepper shakers as if they were checkers on a checkerboard, and it got him consternated, but no one wanted to tell him it wasn't a puzzle because sometimes he solved it, and he sat up in triumph with such a big grin that everyone couldn't help but congratulate him!" Toriel noticed that her companion was not stuttering in her account.

"yep, that sounds like him, all right," said Sans.

"And, uh, that's about it!"

"that's it, huh? well, that was a lot. so what'd you learn?"

Alphys had to think a while. Toriel put a hand on her shoulder; this drew the lizard's attention before she looked back to Sans. "I guess the real takeaway is that Papyrus was an amazing guy… despite the fact that he didn't seem like it at first. On the cameras, I mean, when I… when I saw him there. In actuality, though, he was… he was really valuable, but I didn't realize it, and I… just let the human go meet him on the road, and…" She swallowed.

"i let him go out there too," Sans reminded her quietly.

"R-r-right. And when… when I s-saw it h-h-happen… I, um…" She seemed to be having trouble, so Toriel patted her shoulder. "…when I saw it, I…. I didn't do anything about it! I just… I didn't let it bother me. I just went on fantasizing about the human, as if… as if that one life was nothing, just a mistake, just… just a blip!" She trembled and bit her tongue. "I was… really, really wrong to do that. I—" And now the reptile's confidence broke down. She hung her head and sobbed. Toriel kept her hand planted firmly on her back, kneading gently to let her friend know that she cared. Sans watched, angling his head but doing nothing else.

"That was a huge mistake," cried Alphys, raising her head through her tears. "H-h-huge! I… I was so obsessed with my own dream… absorbed in my own f-fantasies, really… that I…" She wept again. "I forgot what a life is worth. What a person is worth." She hunched tightly for a moment. "I guess… I guess I was so used to thinking of myself as… as garbage that I…" She fell silent again, letting her eyes close.

"…say it," ordered Sans.

She took a deep breath. "…that I forgot that life is actually worth something. It's worth a lot, isn't it? It's worth… it's worth the most, of anything! And I… I forgot." She sniffled and choked on her tears, coughing violently. Toriel squeezed her shoulder firmly for reassurance.

At last, Alphys cleared her throat. "I'm…" She looked to Toriel if for approval. "I'm not garbage, am I? I'm… I'm not. I mean… I made a really huge mistake, and that means I… I have a really deep flaw, maybe more than one, maybe… maybe a lot of them. But… I'm worth something too, aren't I?" It was such a hopeful tone, so full of discovery. "I may have gigantic flaws, but…. there's… there good too, right, and the good is m-m-m-maybe sometimes… stronger than the bad?" Toriel tightened her lips, longing to speak, but knowing she must not interrupt this moment. "It's true, isn't it? I'm not worthless. I'm not a pile of walking trash. No… no more than Papyrus was… expendable." She swung around to face Sans, suddenly desperate. "Is it true? Sans… Toriel… is it true?"

"it's true, kid," said Sans.

"Alphys. Of course it is true." Toriel stooped and lifted Alphys in the midst of her epiphany so that she could hug her tightly. "What have I been telling you? What have I been telling you?" She placed one finger on the lizard's snout. "Know that you are valued. Know that you are loved."

Alphys peered up, her face at the level of Toriel's breast. "I guess I just thought you were m-m-making a mistake. Do you… do you really mean it?"

"Of course I do, dear one. Of course." Toriel caught herself swaying back and forth with Alphys as if comforting a baby. That, she thought, was a bit much, so she set the scientist down and took a seat herself, so as not to tower over her.

Alphys stared at Toriel in amazement. Then she turned to Sans as if for her judgment.

He paused a moment. "gotta say, i didn't think you would get so much outta that assignment. i'm glad i had you do it. i'm even glad you put up that ridiculous banner and got those monsters to come and chant. it looks like it worked out for the best."

"Does that mean, Sans," Toriel ventured, "that we are forgiven for what we did?"

He didn't say anything for a while. Neither Toriel nor Alphys dared to interrupt, but the silence lasted a long time. A minute, most likely. Finally, Sans gave his head a tiny shake and reoriented himself. "sorry. i was just…" He bowed his head slightly. "…you guys have done your jobs, and now i've got to do mine. but it's not coming easy."

"…Y-your job?"

He planted his hands firmly in his pockets. "i've gotta forgive you. i didn't want to. but that's not fair of me. i'm the one who's suffering, sure, and in a way, you two helped cause it. but when i'm honest with myself, it's not your fault i'm suffering as much as i am. it's mine."

Though Toriel did not quite understand the nature of Sans's strife, she knew that he, too, needed comforting. But he could not be picked up and hugged. "Will you share with us what you mean?"

His breathing became audible, a rare occurrence. "not everyone's as close with their brother as i was. and that's the way i chose to make it. i don't want to get into the details, but… i kinda put all my emotional eggs in one basket."

Toriel did not know what to say to that, but fortunately, Alphys did. "Sans? Did you have any parents? You must have, right, because you had a grandfather?"

"well, we had a mom," he replied. "she was a good person. wish i'd gotten to know her better."

Alphys stared. "What happened to her?"

"earthquake. she was on the geologic response team. dangerous work, but if you're a certain kind of person, it's the kind of job you can't just let somebody else do. mom was that kind of person."

Toriel took this in. She wondered if it meant he had a hole in his soul where a mother's love once was… and whether he saw her as a way to fill it.

"Oh!" said Alphys. "I really admire the geologic team. Fighting the natural flow of the planet… putting their lives on the line… I wish I could be h-half that brave. You must have been so proud of her."

"i was. i had the coolest mom on the planet, and i made sure the other kids knew it. believe it or not, i wasn't really popular when i was young."

"H-how come?"

"well. let's just say i was kind of full of myself. i was top of the class, good at bone magic… then mom got crushed in a vertical rupture event, and… i didn't know how to take it. i didn't understand. pap was great—giving comfort, looking on the bright side… but the other kids sensed weakness, and they pounced. i went from the showoff that everyone puts up with to the miserable kid that everyone picks on. pap and i had to go and live with gaster, or grandpa semi, as he was known back then. it wasn't long before gramps pulled me out of school entirely. i just wasn't cutting it there anymore, and besides, he had things to teach me."

"Wow," said Alphys. "I didn't know Gaster raised you."

"well, i was already half raised by then. he raised me the rest of the way. i helped him with his labwork. pap tried to help too, but he just didn't take to it like i did, so gramps let him stay in school. i didn't meet a lot of people back then. but i learned a lot. a hell of a lot."

Alphys set her hands on Sans's shoulder. She did not strike Toriel as the type to touch someone without a reason; as such, her fondness for the skeleton was made all the more clear. "Gaster really was a good teacher, wasn't he? He was a little h-hard to understand sometimes, but that just made me want to try harder. He had the most amazing mind…"

Sans looked at the floor. "yeah. and he had principles. go against one, and he educates you. hard. go against it again, knowingly… and you're out of his life forever."

Toriel inhaled sharply. "Is that what happened to you, Sans?"

"…yeah. i did something he couldn't forgive. and he sent me packing. i was pretty much grown up by then, but still. it hurt hard. about as hard as when mom died."

"I'm—I'm—I'm sorry," Alphys blurted.

"but papyrus. he was always there to comfort me. losing mom, leaving school… the tough times i went through with gaster, and then the big falling out. then later on, when we heard gaster'd destroyed himself in an experiment. whenever i needed comfort, my younger brother was always there to give it to me. and his bright, unstoppable cheerfulness? it was exactly what i needed."

It must be what you need now, Toriel did not say. She sat down on the floor and did her best to cross her legs. She had not kept herself as supple as she would have liked.

"So you really came to depend on him," Alphys gathered.

"not just that. he depended on me. he heard they needed sentries to capture humans, so he became one, and i did too. that way, he got to chastise me whenever i didn't put my full backbone into it, and i got to be around him at work. eventually it got to the point where i didn't really care much about anything but keeping him safe. except for keeping him happy, i guess. if it wasn't for that, i never would have let that human get near him. but he knew he had to catch a human if he ever wanted to get into the royal guard, and i didn't want to take that chance away. never thought another human would come down in my lifetime, and this one was just a kid. seemed like a nice kid, too. i knew he'd never get a better chance." Sans put his face in his hands. "so i let them play."

Toriel reached out to hold Sans, while Alphys cuddled him on the other side. They looked at each other. All of his emotional eggs in one basket, indeed.

"hey alphys." Sans suddenly faced her head-on. "you didn't have anything to do with the experiment that took out gaster, did you?"

The lizard was caught in the crossbeams. "Um… w-well, I was there, I mean, I was one of his assistants… it was me and Llewyn…"

"i know llewyn. so what happened? i never got the details."

From Alphys's anxious look, Toriel got the impression that there were secrets involved here she was not meant to hear. But she would stay—this was important to both her housemates, and they had not asked her to leave.

"It was the machine," said Alphys. "He was trying to t-test a theory of time he'd developed. The idea was that… light is the medium that carries time." Another nervous glance at Toriel. "It started out with his observation that light is n-nearly, but not quite instantaneous, and he speculated that one quantum of light—a photon—might be equivalent to the smallest possible amount of time. This was, um, backed up by my, uh, my human storybooks, which keep referring to spaceships that travel 'faster than light.' As if that's a really significant thing. But the stories aren't true, which means even human scientists haven't figured out any way to go faster than light. Light seems to be the limit. But Gaster theorized that maybe… the amount of light present in any given environment determines how fast time moves there. The more light, the faster it moves, which explains why time seems to pass so quickly in bright, cheery places like upper Hotland, while in dark, glum places like central Waterfall it drags on and on… just because of a relatively small light differential. Is this making sense so far?"

"yup," said Sans. "he used to talk about this same theory to me. it was only half baked back then, though."

"Oh. Well, did he mention the part that relates to sleep?"

"don't think so."

"Gaster thought that maybe the reason we sleep best in the dark is because we need to slow down in order to get the full benefits of sleep. Our heartrate has to slow down, or we can't fall asleep in the first place. When you sleep, you l-lose track of time, and when you wake up, you usually don't know what time it is. That's because there isn't much light to keep time moving. But even when we sleep in a dark place with our eyes closed, a small amount of light still gets in through the cracks of the room and through our eyelids. That's why we dream! But there's so little light that time passes very slowly for us when we sleep… which is why you can have a dream that seems to go on forever, with scene after scene… but then you wake up, and it turns out it's only been an hour and a half. Aheh."

"Alphys, that is fascinating!" Toriel interjected.

"Yeah! I thought so too. So… Gaster wanted to try getting rid of all the light in a sealed room, just to see if he could… escape time. If light is what carries time, what happens when there's no time at all?"

"That sounds extraordinarily dangerous."

"Yep," she said quietly, nodding. "It was."

"And yet you went along with it?"

The scientist's voice went soft. "…What you have to understand about Gaster is… he didn't think much about danger. If he had the chance to learn something that no one had ever learned before… he took it. He… he c-cared a little about his assistants' safety, but I really don't think he gave any weight to his own at all." She looked uncertainly to Sans.

"i guess he must have changed. when i knew him, he wasn't reckless. driven, sure. but he made sure he stayed alive to care for his grandkids."

"But then you moved out," Alphys pointed out. "And I guess he was able to… let go."

Sans considered. "so what went wrong?"

"Well, h-he built a chamber of darkness, and evacuated all the photons from it. As training, me and Llewyn had to practice operating sensors and controls in the dark. We made them work by sound and feel. The photons all got sent away, bit by bit, until they were all gone… and there we were, in a darkness so cutting it was scary, and I honestly can't remember how long we were there. It felt like…" She shivered. "Well, like a lifetime, but it was gone so fast…"

"so what was the next step?" asked Sans. "there had to be a next step."

"He'd directed us in building a machine," Alphys continued, "meant to bombard an object with something he'd discovered called dark light. B-basically, it's a form of radiation with all the same properties of light… except you can't see it. Aheh. The machine was d-designed so you could open an aperture and adjust how much dark light came out, at what frequencies… the plan was to test it on a random object. A c-croissant we had lying around the lab…"

"dark light, huh? made of dark photons, i guess?"

"Yeah. And it… well, when we bombarded the croissant, nothing, um, nothing happened. Or so it seemed. We didn't sense anything, but then again, with no light, we couldn't be sure if the croissant was still there unless we felt it. So, Dr. Gaster reached out to feel the croissant. And, um… the dark light must have still been lingering on it somehow, because it suffused him… and he… um…"

"he didn't make it."

"He made it almost too well! Suddenly, we could hear him from multiple directions, saying more than one different thing! It was like we were being b-b-bombarded by particles of Gaster! We tried to talk to him and do what he said, but it was just too confusing, and too scary, and we had to get out of there. Llewyn was… he was terrified. He gave up science completely! I tried to save him… I adjusted the machine and tried bombarding the croissant with normal light to undo whatever had happened… but after I left the dark chamber the first time, Gaster was gone. I never heard his voice again… except in dreams."

"do you dream about him a lot?" asked Sans.

Alphys shivered. "I wish I didn't."

"you know what happened to the machine?"

"Well, it belonged to Gaster, so it was dispensed according to his will. I don't know who wound up with it. I didn't go to the reading of the will. I was shaken up enough from his funeral and I wasn't in… in a good place."

"he left it to me," said Sans. "i've still got it."

Alphys seemed to struggle with that news. "Oh."

"never knew what it did. i should bring it here. we could work on it together."

She shivered again. Toriel shuffled over on her knees and hugged her. "Sans, can you not see that you are disturbing her? I expect she never wants to see that machine again."

"sorry, al. i just thought maybe we could… you know, look for him. see if he's still out there."

Alphys hugged Toriel tightly. "I d-don't know if I'm strong enough for that. Maybe I could… work my way up to it?"

"sure. we'll talk. you don't mind if i just bring the machine back, do you? i won't do anything with it without checking in."

"W-well, I guess having it here couldn't hurt. I'm going to have my own place, anyway."

Toriel released her. "Does this mean that Mr. Gaster is not deceased? Are you suggesting that he still exists, somehow, in a way that we do not understand?"

"there's more out there than we know," said Sans.

"Y-y-yeah," agreed Alphys. "It can be overwhelming sometimes."

Toriel reflected on the strange creature she had vanquished that had been tormenting the narrow-eyed child. A flower with a face… she had never heard of such a thing, yet it existed. If she had only let it finish the job, would there now be more happiness in the world? "Speaking of the overwhelming… I think we are all tired from our day. May I take it, Sans, that you are still not prepared to forgive us?"

"i forgive you, toriel. i already did, really. you didn't know what that kid really was." He turned to Alphys. "it's the fact that you saw them kill my brother and still decided to idolize them… that's the part i can't wrap my head around. i know you know it was wrong. i know you regret it, and i don't think you'd do it again. still. i could say those three words, but i don't think i could mean them. and i don't want to say i forgive you if i don't mean it."

Alphys sniffled. "It's okay. I don't think I deserve forgiveness either. I'm just h-hoping we can be friends, somehow, anyway."

"hey. alphys. you do deserve forgiveness. today you earned it. it's just… i'm not strong enough to give it to you."

"Oh. I—I see. Well… I understand. I should probably get to bed. Talking about Gaster… isn't the easiest thing."

"it sure isn't. see you in the morning, kid."

Alphys paused on her way to bed. "D-did you call me kid? You know I'm twenty-seven years old, right? You can't be much older than that."

Sans shrugged. "eh. it's a compliment. you're a kid at heart."

"Oh. Sure. …I—I guess. Good night."

"Good night, Alphys," said Toriel. "May you have sweet dreams."

Alphys flashed a smile back before walking off. They soon heard the click of the door at the end of the hall. So that Toriel could reclaim her bedroom, they had given Alphys the room that had once been Asgore's. It now had a bed in it, but nothing more—after all, she would soon be moving out.

Toriel walked back into the living room and sat down in her chair. "Well," she said.

Sans went to the bookshelf and leaned against it, casually scanning the titles. "so. you been enjoying those new books i brought you? are you tearing through 'em, or taking them slow?"

The change in subject made her wonder whether he was avoiding something. "I am taking them slowly, Sans. I have learned to savor my entertainment. But do you have nothing to say on the conversation that has just transpired?"

He shrugged. "i said i didn't want to get into details. so much for that, huh?"

Toriel frowned. "You still have not said what drove your grandfather to disown you."

"huh? no, i guess i haven't." He stood staring at the books.

"Is it another difficult memory?"

He was silent. She remembered him telling her that she could always ask him anything she wanted… so long as she didn't expect an answer.

"I am sorry, Sans. But it seems to me that it may serve us all better if you can… swallow your anger and tell Alphys that you forgive her for what she did. Even if it is not how you truly feel."

The way he looked at her was a bit unnerving. He seemed genuinely surprised. "you mean lie to alphys? i thought you were some kind of 'pillar of integrity' or something."

Oh, really. "I do try to be truthful most of the time, yes. But there are some principles more important than unflinching honesty, Sans. One of them is that it is wrong to hurt people. You have admitted that Alphys has earned forgiveness. Is it really right to keep her in limbo, believing herself unforgivable?"

"i can't do it, tori. it'd be a slap in my brother's face."

"Your brother… Sans, if your brother was anything like what the monsters of Snowdin say he was, he would agree with me! Alphys is struggling to like herself, and if the three of us are to live together in the Ruins, we will need each other. Would Papyrus not want you and her to make peace?"

It was like she had slapped him, the way he winced. Had she gone too far? She stood up to approach him, but he looked her straight in the eyes.

"what can i say, tori? he probably would. doesn't mean i can do it."

Well, this was a fine kettle. Her hopes of spending a happy age with a happy couple were on the brink of the drain. "Sans, are you unaware that she is fond of you!?"

He looked bewildered. "fond of me? what do you mean?"

Toriel clenched her fists. "She is enamored with you, Sans, or at least so I gather. She wants to like you, but you have erected a wall between her and yourself! Is Alphys truly such a terrible person? Can you not give her a chance?"

Sans stood there and scratched his head. "you mean she's sweet on me? sorry, tori, i honestly hadn't noticed."

She sighed. "When you left so abruptly the other day, Alphys came out of bed to speak with me. We discussed the distant past, and she revealed things I had not known about my own children—the contents of the videotape we did not play. At one point, she asked whether you and I were a couple. Whether we share a bed."

This did seem to stun Sans somewhat. "you think she was checking to see if i was spoken for?"

"Her question was out of the blue. I can think of no other reason. She finds you attractive, Sans, and no doubt intelligent, and the fact you share a connection through your grandfather only strengthens the bond you could share."

"huh. you really think me and her could be… a thing?"

"I would not doubt it! And if I may be honest, it would make me so happy. These desolate old catacombs could use a little love! But before anything can bloom between you… you must first forgive her!"

Toriel realized her hands were still clenched. She was embarrassed to be meddling so hard in another's love life… but it was not just romance they were discussing. It was the question of whether there would be harmony in their small community.

Sans took a deep, silent breath and looked far away, apparently lost. His head sagged. But then, after a long moment, he lifted it. "tori. do you remember how your conversation led up to alphys asking that question?"

She thought back dutifully. The truth about Ziggy and Asriel… leaving the tapes behind… "It was a non-sequitor. She said that she felt naked without her technology, and I told her… that if she is to begin her life anew here, perhaps it is right for her to feel naked. And then she asked."

Sans's eyes grew dark and deep. Then he chuckled. After a pause, he chuckled further, aggravating Toriel. "What is it?" she asked.

"let me get this straight, tori. you'd just had a deep, connecting moment with alphys. you know she admires you like nobody's business. then you talked about her being naked, and suddenly, out of nowhere, she asks if you and me are a couple. and your conclusion is… she wants to be with me?"

His tone of voice suggested that she was being an utter fool, but for the life of her Toriel could not see what she was missing. "If you are implying something, Sans, kindly come out with it!"

His smile was comforting, broad. "tori. she doesn't care about me. she wants you. she wanted to know if you were unattached."

Toriel felt her mouth fall open. What? The idea was so strange that she had not even considered it; her head swam. "Are you serious?"

"come to think of it, it all adds up. she didn't seem too down about having to go and spend the day doing penance in snowdin… probably because it meant time spent with you. tori, she gave up a spot beside the throne, not to mention everything else in her life… all to speak up for you during your speech. and then, driven to the brink of suicide, what was the one thing she could think of that seemed better than jumping off a cliff?"

Toriel felt her throat tightening. "Coming here… to be with me."

"exactly. i'm actually surprised i didn't see it before, tori. she's head over heels for you."

Could it actually be true? Was Alphys really so foolish as that? "But Sans, I am just a silly old lady! And I am not glamorous. If anything, I am plain! How could she possibly be attracted to me?"

Again, the chuckling. Sans shook his head slowly. "oh, toriel. you have no idea."

She exhaled softly. "No, I suppose I do not. Will you please explain?"

He smirked. "nah, i don't think so. you're cuter this way."

This was beginning to irritate Toriel. "Sans, I am well over a hundred times her age!"

"so you've got a few years on her. doesn't mean love can't sprout. didn't mettaton say she's got a crush on the unknowable?"

Her lips tightened. Her chest was growing warm. "Are you saying that I am unknowable, Sans?"

"i'm just saying you're not as simple as you think, tori. you've got depths. i can see why a girl like alphys might want to dive in."

Dive in? Now he was making her sound like a swimming pool. "This is so incredibly awkward. If you are right, Sans… and I am not saying you are… then it will be very difficult letting her down."

He grinned. "you don't have to."

"Are you saying I should not address the issue?"

His grin grew. "i'm saying maybe you shouldn't let her down. if it's difficult, why do it? i wouldn't."

Was he really implying…? "Sans… I am mourning my husband, my lifemate for millennia! I cannot very well date a diminutive twenty-seven-year-old reptile who reads comic books!"

He spread his arms. "nothing's stopping you, tori. you can date her. only question is, do you want to?"

This was ridiculous. It was embarrassing even to contemplate. "She is a woman, Sans. I am not interested in other women that way."

"no? are you sure? when's the last time you dated one?"

The answer was never. Reluctantly, she supposed he did have a point. There was a beauty to the feminine spirit—and to the feminine form—that Toriel admired, much as any aesthete would. It was conceivable that, had it not been her destiny to bear a child, she might have married a woman. But were not males and females meant to complement one another?

Then again, it was not as if there was only one kind of complementary relation. Individuals had a wide variety of traits, and sex was only one among many. She and Alphys certainly differed… and there were certainly ways in which they complemented each other…

"whatcha thinkin' bout, tori?" ribbed Sans.

She wrinkled her nose at him. "You are feeding an old lady fantasies. You should be ashamed."

"why would i be ashamed of that? seems to me that's one of the best things a person can do."

That brought Toriel up short. It was true… fantasies were worth something. And before the news of Asgore's death, it had been a long time since she had had any new ones. And yet… this?

She eased herself delicately back into her chair, as if her bones might break. "Are you merely trolling me, Sans? Or do you honestly think I should pursue a relationship with Dr. Alphys?"

He turned to the fireplace. "well, you said yourself this place could use a little love."

Well. She had said that, hadn't she? "But Sans… I had thought I would watch my companions fall in love, and that I could enjoy it from afar! It is so much easier to watch others fall in love, and I have already put in my time!"

"what can i say? love isn't fair."

Toriel squirmed in her chair and buried her face in her hands. "Why me?"

"cause i'm the lazy one," Sans replied. "and you're the one who does the right thing."

It was infuriating, sometimes, how right he had a habit of being.

A/N: Some people like imagining the skelebros' mother is named Arial. You can imagine that if you want!

So, a couple commenters on the previous chapter found the 'penance party' idea surreal and unbelievable. In penance for writing a scene that puzzled my readers, I wrote a rough dialogue that might have taken place between Toriel and Alphys after the end of Chapter 24 to explain their thinking. I PMed it to one reader. If you'd like to see it, let me know!

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