i know...i know. i had writer's block like a bitch! lol im trying guys well i have somewhat of a renewed...aww hell i feel refreshed is what im trying to say okay so if yall have any suggestions i am officially taking them and i would love you forever :)

q and a's

1lady4lads: you are a little late but it's better late than never! welcome to the party :) i wish shonda and i was kin! that would be awesome

mackg4: whooo! it has been quite the story :) thank you for reading up and thinking im awesome. it helped me getting off my butt to write this chapter.

guest: they'll be nice now. more playful

bellydancer: thanks :)

angchick: you were the only one i think! are you spying on me? lol

evoria: aww dont cry! it'll be okay :)

chocolate: liv is strong. we kinda see her breakdown a little and see anger spurts but what would you expect from someone who has been in her situation

kelleekellkell: thank you!

lorenemichelle: thank you so much! and dont cry to hard! you'll miss the awesomeness of this chapter

kelsey: yes, natalia is the baby she lost

oxford: the "happy" occasion was to be the funeral. poor liv tried to make the best of it to not alarm everyone how deeply tore up she is by the lost of her child. she wanted a celebration of life rather the morning of a death. it is pretty much safe to say mellie is a lost case and cause. further explanation is coming. you were more my 400th review. congrats. pm me a one shot you want or you can pass it along to someone else if you like :)

jetes: happiness is on the way!

joanne: thanks so much! and dont get #ShfitzFaced on the marterrys! i dont pack ppl around in their drunken state lol

ghjasam: a celebration of life! not funeral :)

"Baby?" Fitz called out. He looked in the bedroom, finding an empty bed. Maybe she was up! Maybe she had come back to him.

"Olivia, honey?" Fitz looked around a little more before he felt a warm breeze. He looked around the corner. He could see her little feet dangling off the lounge chair. He stepped out on the balcony just as a breeze was blowing. The warm air tussled his hair in a way that made him shiver. It reminded him of the way Olivia used to shake his hair out of place so his curl could pop out. He smiled before looking down to his Livvie.

"Olivia baby, I'm so happy you're out of bed."

She stared straight ahead without a word. She didn't even blink to let him know she'd heard him.

"Okay. I'll just talk and you can listen. The trials are coming up. The press is ravenous for info. And I'm missing my girl. I know you're hurting and I'm hurting too. You never told me what happened while you were custody. Or how you felt when you got out. You never talked about your feelings on Mellie and Edison. I need you Livvie. I can't do this alone. Teddy has been asking for you. He hasn't seen you. He keeps calling your name. Karen keeps wanting to see you so she can take you shopping. She swears it's all you need. Gerry says you need a swift kick in the butt. Your team keeps asking to see you. But I can't. I can't let any of them see you like this. This isn't the Olivia they know. This isn't the Olivia I know. You take as much time as you need to get better. But please get better soon. This family can't last without you." Fitz kissed Olivia on her temple before stepping back inside.

What he didn't see was Olivia wiping the tears from her eyes. She would come around soon. She just needed time.

"Liv is still in the bed. She refuses to get up."

"What are we going to do, Dad? Liv is not coping well."

"I know. Cy? Have you talked to her?"

"No. I go in and she doesn't even move. Barely breaths."

Fitz, Cyrus, Gerry, Karen and Teddy sat around the dinner table trying to figure out a way to get Olivia out of her slump. After the celebration service a couple of weeks back, Olivia hit a downward spiral. She refused to eat, wouldn't get out of bed for three days at a time, responded in grunts only. She cried herself to sleep every night. Her already petite frame was treading the line between 80lb deathly ill and 95lb malnutrition line. Fitz was finally able to work his way up to getting her to eat brunch and maybe a fruit at night. And she was at least drinking water and juices. Unbeknownst to her, Fitz started sneaking vitamins in her juice and food to try to sustain her health. Things were dicey for a while but they were looking up now. Well minus her still not getting out of the bed.

"It's been a month, Dad. We have to do something." Karen pleaded. "We just can't let her kill herself."

Everyone's head jerk in Karens direction in disbelief. Her face flushed with shame.

"What? You all were thinking the same thing. I just had enough courage to say it."

"What are we going to do about the press? We haven't released a statement about the Olivia and Edsion. About Jake's murder. About Mellie's arrest. But most importantly about that other scandal." Cryus hissed out.

"Kids, why don't you go watch a movie? I'll be in there in a minute."

The kids looked to each other, sharing a look. Gerry reached for another taco as Karen crossed her legs picking up her tea cup, sipping it slowly.

"Gerry, Karen. I said go, now."

"Hey Gerry, you wanna know something really wierd?" Karen asked.

"What's that Karen?" Gerry said with a mouth full of food.

"That Daddy thinks we're dumb. That he thinks after all this time we have hung out with him and Olivia that we don't get it. After a month of sneaking to watch the news and logging onto TMZ on Uncle Cy's computer that we don't know that he and Olivia are sleeping together. Like we couldn't put two and two together and figure out the baby that she miscarried was his. That from the moment we heard the report about Olivia sneaking out the house to her 'alleged' affair having lover that we didn't immediately know it was him."

"I know Karen. Or get this one: about how every night Dad acts like he's going to the guest bedroom when we ALL know he is sneaking into 'Liv's' bedroom. Or the fact that they have been having this affair since the trail and that's partly why Mellie is such a bit-"

"Okay, I get the picture." Fitz said cutting Gerry off. He knew what he was getting ready to say and while he agreed it still was not right.

"Guys, I'm sorry you had to figure that out on your own. I should have come to you and explained. I should have...you shouldn't have to go through that. Not by yourself. I guess I was so preoccupied. I'm sorry. I know I have not been the best Dad but I hope you can forgive me and know that I was trying my best. Grandpa was never...he didn't show love so I'm still kinda learning how to be a good Dad. Just don't give up on me." Fitz wept looking at the table.

"Dad, chill. We are okay. Mom's a bitch anyway."

"Karen!" Fitz roared.

"Damn!" Gerry jeered.

"Gerry!" Fitz directed his anger toward his son. "What has gotten into you two?"

The kids ignored him as Karen celebrated and Gerry grudgingly pulled out his wallet. He handed Karen a $20 bill. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"What is going on?" Fitz question the Grant children.

"Karen and I made a bet. I said I could call Mom a bitch in front of you. After I kept trying and you kept cutting me off, she got in the bet too. Just so happen, tonight was the night she got the privilege to refer to Mom in her true form before I had the chance."

"That's enough. I don't want to hear anymore. I am very disappointed in both of you. Go to the family room. I'll be in to speak with you in a minute after I calm down." Fitz huffed in angry.

"Sorry Dad." Karen whispered.

"Yea, sorry Dad." Gerry stood up walking off with Karen.

It was quiet at the table before Cyrus chuckled. "I've been itching to call Mellie a bitch since I met her."

"I've called her one to her face before." Fitz boasted.

Cyrus raised his eyes in a mixture of disbelief and surprise.

"Okay, so she was sleeping and probably didn't hear me. But I called Mellie a bitch and lived to tell about it."

"When are you going to tell the kids you were just playing?"

"They let me live in absolute turmoil for years while they knew about Olivia and I. I'll let them sweat this one out a bit.

A few days later, Fitz rushed into his and Olivia's bedroom.

"Olivia?"

Silence.

"Baby? I need your help with something."

Silence.

"The nanny has the flu. She can't come in. I have a meeting in the Sit room with Cy. Karen and Jerry are at school. James is busy. Can you watch Teddy?" Fitz really didn't want to leave Teddy with Olivia. She wasn't...stable enough yet. "Baby, I'll understand if you're not up to it. I can get Lauren or someone else to watch him. Maybe Tom."

Olivia lightly taped his side of the bed. That was answer enough. Fitz walked out the room before coming back in.

"Teddy be good for Livvia." He kissed the boy's head sitting him in the bed with some toys. "Baby, I'll be back as soon as I can. Afterward, we need to talk." He leaned down, kissing Olivia's lips not really expect a reaction. He check on Teddy one more time before he left the room.

Teddy eyed Olivia laying next to him. Her eyes were close and she wasn't really moving. She looked a little sick to him. One time his daddy looked like this. He didn't play with him or talk for a really long time. Teddy crawled under the sheet, squeezing his head on the same pillow as Olivia. Olivia eyes opened to the little boy staring at her. The more he stared the more she felt the pain and anger rise in her. But the beauty that was know as Theodore Wallace Grant could wipe out any malice feelings a person could possibly harbor.

Teddy smiled wide with his little rice seed teeth, "Better Mommy." He gave her a kiss and closed his eyes.