To those of you who don't know I did write the love scene between them. It's a companion story called "And into the Sun" that will only consist of all love scenes. I will continue to write new chapters for Out of the Grey to those who didn't know.

It broke. The fucking condom broke. She couldn't believe her eyes at first. Did this really happen? Or is she seeing things?

Before she'd known what happened next they were arguing about who's fault it was. Kate couldn't stay long of course she had twenty minutes to pick up Anna and Martin and…what the hell? Why is this happening to her?

She threw on her clothes and left her apartment with her naked lover still sitting in the bed with a broken condom. No biggie right? She'll have to deal with it later. Anna called her ten minutes ago asking her to pick her up but Martin is going to stay. She'll have to take the second car in the parking garage but that's not important. She's more concerned about Rick. And the broken condom still sitting on his…

What if she's pregnant? Her kids would never forgive her. She would never forgive herself. Not that she would mind having a child with Rick (it's way to early to think about this) it's just that she's already cheating on Will. She can't bring a child into this mess. What kind of mother would? No, she can't be pregnant. Especially not while married to another man.

On the drive to pick up Anna Kate's thoughts were everywhere at once. She could barely focus on the road in front of her. All she could think about was Rick and how she needed to talk about this. She needed to talk about this huge mistake she made with her mother. She would know what to do, what to say. Her mother would tell her how disappointed she is in her but still help her find a way out of this mess. But her mother isn't here. She's dead and Kate's forced to deal with this all on her own.

At a red light Kate sucked in a deep breath and rested her head against the steering wheel. How did she manage to get so fucked up? When will her life go back to normal?

She got pregnant at such a young age and lost her mother not long after. When her mother died her father started drinking and she hasn't see or spoken to him in years. And here she is now an unhappily married woman with a cheating husband and she's cheating now with her best friend who might've just gotten her pregnant. The difficulties in her life just don't stop. She swears life must hate her.

Yeah she knows there are people out there who have it worse but that doesn't make her situation easier to deal with. The light soon turned green and Kate continued her way to the library. She has no tears, just terribly trembling breath and fingers. She can shake it off before Anna gets in the car.

Pulling up she honked twice then waited for her daughter to appear.

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Castle was gone when she arrived back home. The entire room cleaned up and sheets straightened. She'll thank him later. Anna said she was going to take a nap. She'd done a lot of reading at the library and needed to rest. That was fine with Kate because with everything that's going on right now she needed to talk. She also knows the exact person she needs to talk to. Hopefully she can help.

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Kate knocked on the door three times in a row and two seconds later when she didn't get a response she knocked again. Two seconds later she knocked again just a little louder.

When the door swung open she was met with a familiar face but not the one she had the intention of coming to see.

"Beckett?"

"Detective Esposito?"

"Why are you knocking on the door like you're crazy? I was coming the first time you knocked."

"I'm sorry. I just really need to talk to Dr. Parish. Is she here?" Kate asked walking into the apartment past Esposito who was standing at the door.

"No she isn't. She has patients to see today. Aren't you a patient? Of hers?" He closed the door and walked back to where she was standing. Kate turned and looked at him suspiciously.

"Yeah," she answered cautiously.

"You can talk to me." He sat down at the kitchen counter and flashed her smile. She could tell it wasn't his best but it was cute enough that she had to smile.

"No thanks. I'll feel more comfortable talking to her."

"Come on. You can trust me. Lanie pulls that psychobabble on me all the time. I know enough to get a degree by now."

"Really?"

"No but I can try. I'm a great advice giver."

Strangely Kate found herself trusting him. He seems like a nice guy on a 'I don't know you' level. Plus he's a cop. That shouts 'trust me' right? It feels as if they've known each other for a long time. She knows she can trust him but the question is, why?

She sat opposite him at the counter and tried to get her thoughts together.

"I'm having boyfriend…troubles."

"Can you explain?" He's being childlike. Not because he's making fun of her but because he's trying to make it easier for her to open up. It's actually very thoughtful of him considering they don't know each other and when they met he was arresting her.

"I could potentially end up pregnant."

"Ooh." He sucked air between his teeth to emphasize the trouble of her words. "I can see now that you do have a serious problem. You being married and all. But don't worry Castle'll make a good father."

"Excuse me?" How did he know?

"I arrested you Beckett. I checked you out and Castle came to pick you up from the hospital. It doesn't take a genius to put it together."

"Oh." Now she's getting uncomfortable. what else does he know about her? Has he read of any Dr. Parish's files on her? "What do I do?"

"I know you want to leave your husband so that's plan A. Your kids are older now right? They would understand."

"I can't leave him," Kate said exasperated. "Not yet. How do you know I wanna leave my husband?"

Esposito's expression changed instantly. Then he started looking very evasive. "Lanie might've mentioned it once or twice," he said lowly.

"What!"

"Don't be mad at her. It was my fault. All my fault."

"Oh my goodness. Is nothing secret anymore?" Kate stood up to leave their apartment when Esposito said something that gave her pause. "What?"

"What about the morning after pill?"

"That's real?" Kate turned to face him and walked closer to him.

Of all things he could've said or done he laughs. He laughs at her! "You've been out of the game for a while so it makes sense that you wouldn't know."

"So it's like real?"

"Yes. It's real. You have to take it now though. If this happened last night."

"Earlier today."

"Then take it tomorrow."

"Where do I find it?"

"Where do you think?" That was kind of a stupid question.

"And if I take it I'm guaranteed not to get pregnant?" she asked.

"Just about yeah. But everything has it's risks."

"That's alright. Thank you so much for your help. Tell Dr. Parish-"

"Lanie."

"Lanie. That I want a word with her."

"Is she in trouble?" He looked genuinely worried.

"What do you think?"

Kate left their apartment and headed right back out to find the mythical "morning after pill." She just hoped that it would work. Having her be pregnant could seriously end badly for her. If Will found out about the child then he could break their pre-nup and take everything from her. She can't let that happen. Her kids...her money...her life... Maybe it is time she just left him.