Hey everyone! Sorry it took me a white to get this chapter up. I just wasn't satisfied with a certain section and had to rewrite. It's the week before Thanksgiving and so my teachers decided it would be a good idea to pile on the work right before we got off for vacation and so my time to write has been limited. So you all probably will have a bunch of questions about part of this chapter, and so I'll just give you the playlist now and write a note at the end of the chapter.

Playlist:

Adagio for strings by Samuel Barber

Brick by boring brick by Paramore

Breath In, Breath out by Mat Kearney

Sorry by Buck Cherry

Apologize by Timberland

Heavy in your arms by Florence and the Machine

Another place to fall by KT Tunstall

Through the Dark by KT Tunstall

Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap

Hate that I love you by Rihanna

Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright

The heart of the matter by

Suite for Solo Cello No. 1 in G Major fro, Bach: The Cello Suites

I want to hold your hand by the Beatles

I'm yours by Jason Mraz

If God made you by Five For Fighting

Innocent by David Cook

Lady is a tramp by Glee Cast

Let's dance to joy division by the Wombats

Please read, review, and enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Six

Rose and Pearl

Sitting in a room too familiar for his liking but with a choice, James leaned back in his chair. His eyes, drawn to the painting on the wall like magnets, worshiped the masterpiece that made him cringe. Had it truly been that long ago? Was his sanity really that distant? Time passed in extensive intervals, like the hands of a clock for school children waiting to be released. Silently he stood, his body lacking the strength it once possessed. For a temporary strand of moments he could think clearly before his self hatred forced him to lose control and fall back into his insanity. He knew just what he had done in the past and the drugs were not the only thing that caused him to wither. All the lies, not told to others, but to himself. For what he had done to Bella was his breaking point, yet he could not stop. Now, with mixed intentions, he staggered towards the painted brick.

He remembered when he had made the collage on the wall, paint, sweat, blood, and permanent memories were forged together with anger. Had it been out of self-pity he would turn away from the torment staring at him, but she was angry with him and with every right. Every woman that he had ever touched needed to take vengeance on him. He was seeking Bella out because he wanted to have her, but at the same time he wanted her to hurt him so that maybe he would feel a bit of pain in return for the mountains of suffering he had reeked. He would take his own life but he deserved not the relief of death. He must carry on, and if he died it would be at the hand of another for his pride was too much to bare for that.

Sickened by the images on the stone he struggled for breath. A single dead rose was taped, bloodied, beneath the collage of her with paint over lapping. He had been cruel enough then to document his acts of torture. Each one glued to the wall as a twisted reminder of the past. Greif overcame him as he fell to his knees, and one of the poems Bella used to recite after patching herself up from her torture; she would sit on her bed and he would listen through the door as she read the poem from one of her books. And now the words poured from his lips as his mind rocked between sanity and it's opposite.

"None ever was in love with me but grief.

She wooed me from the day that I was born;

She stole my playthings first, the jealous thief,

And left me there forlorn.

The birds that in my garden would have sung,

She scared away with her unending moan;

She slew my lovers too when I was young

And left me there alone.

Grief, I have cursed thee often – now at last

To hate thy name I am no longer free;

Caught in thy bony arms and prisoned fast,

I love no love but thee."

He began to laugh sickly and ran his fingers over a picture of her beaten. He cringed as insanity dominated and he left himself fall powerless to the memories.

Bruises were spotted across her skin, coating her like she was more black and blue than pale. Her muscles ached, and her naked body felt cold against the tile floor. There were no tears to shed, and yet she sobbed, howling like a wounded beast. Her hair cut short as part of her torment spread across the floor. Blood dripped down her back, and her legs. He stood over her mocking her with one of her poems that she used to express her torment when she was alone, or thought so at least.

"She

Too weak, for all her heart's endeavour,

To set its struggling passion free

From pride, and vainer ties dissever,

And give herself to me for ever.

But passion sometimes would prevail,

Nor could to-night's gay feast restrain

A sudden thought of one so pale

For love of her, and all in vain:

So, she was come through wind and rain.

Be sure I look'd up at her eyes

Happy and proud; at last I knew

Porphyria worship'd me; surprise

Made my heart swell, and still it grew

While I debated what to do.

That moment she was mine, mine, fair,

Perfectly pure, and good: I found

A thing to do."

He laughed wickedly as he crouched down before her and ran his fingers along her throat.

"Stupid just like Porphyria." He bellowed, and then slapped her again. "Poetry is your love, but you should worship me, Bella! You are mine! I have freed you from your vanity now worship me! Love me!"

Too weak to utter her complete thoughts as she fluttered on the edge of unconsciousness, she whispered only what she could before darkness took over.

"I shall never love again."

As he spiraled back into consciousness he found himself sobbing.

"You love another, Bella." He howled. "Go love him! And run for me! When I find you let him hide you from my monster because I cannot control it! I saw you, Bella! I saw you buying a green ornament and your hand was on your belly like you were with child. Are you, Bella, are you pregnant with his child? Does he treat you well? God, let him treat you well. I cannot control the insanity and when I fall to the darkness inside my conscious mind finds truth as I fight the darkness. But I am not strong enough!"

Victoria rushed into the room after hearing James's cries and gasped. He took a knife, cut his own palm down the center. The blade splitting flesh and red blood spilling across his pale skin, and then he reached upward and smeared the blood across the photos. He stood, trembling and began to spread the blood across all of the photographs.

"I'm not the cruelest beast out there, Bella! I'm coming, but not now, sweet Bella. I'll give you time to be happy. That's all I want for you." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I want you to be happy."

Victoria thought he was having an episode, but in truth those words he had last spoken were from his sanity.

"Let's get you to bed, James. You need to rest." She murmured, taking him by his bloodied hand, which she would tend to once he was unconscious.

"Thank you, old friend." He murmured, staggering more so than before. She helped him hobble to bed and once he was sound asleep she tended to his wound.

Silently she crept back to the room where the blood was spilled in the Chicago shrine.

"All we want is one thing, Bella. You had to run with it even if you didn't know you had it. This would be so much easier if you didn't have it. It's just a thought. You know the place. He placed the information in your head. You just didn't know it. It's just a memory."

Anger filled Victoria and she began to tremble in frustration. Luckily, ever knowing Victoria sauntered into the room, wrapping her lover in her arms from behind.

"What is bothering you, Victoria?" She asked softly, planting kisses along her neck.

She was much shorter than Victoria and so she had to stand on her tiptoes, which Victoria always found endearing. Maria was quite a powerful woman, which made up for her lack of height in comparison to Victoria.

"It's getting worse, Maria. He's so far gone that he's making sense. He's sorry, Maria. That was not insanity talking. He feels bad about Bella. We've always known that."

"He shouldn't. She's just a girl."

"She's his wound and his cure."

She nodded against her lover's shoulder.

"We just have to make due."

"Shall I give him another dose of the drug?"

"I don't know anymore. He began hurting her long before the drug. He feels guilty. He hides behind the darkness when he loses control because he doesn't have to face reality, but now he's trying."

"What are we going to do?"

Victoria slumped to the floor, her heart heavy with remorse. Maria only loved Victoria. She had screwed things up so many times and Victoria had shown the hurt. Upon leaving Seattle years ago Victoria was furious with her because of the trouble she had gotten them all into making promises she could not keep. Desperate as ever to keep Victoria as an ally and a lover she found a way to stall for time for if Victoria left she could not keep hold of James. Victoria was on the verge of leaving her as she had many times.

"We're going to stick together." Maria cooed as she sat down beside her.

Victoria sighed in knowing disappointment.

"I'm tired, Maria."

"Then go to sleep, Baby. You deserve a rest."

Again Victoria shook her head.

"I don't mean just now. I mean I'm tired of running. I'm tired of playing these games. I'm waiting my life, Maria. If I didn't love you or cared for James I'd leave."

"I'm glad you're here."

Biting her lip, Victoria remained silent.

"When I agreed to work for you I didn't ever think it would be trapping girls into all of this. What better am I than a murderer? I've led the lambs to slaughter! I never wanted this, Maria! I thought I'd circulate a few years worth of drugs or guns or something, but not girls! And now this shit with James! And with Bella, she doesn't even need to be part of this!"

"Don't talk like that, Victoria." Maria pleaded.

"How can you live with yourself?" Victoria spat, jumping up to her feet. "And now you're going to get us all killed. You can't touch Bella. She's got heavy security. They know we're watching. How many lives are you going to take, nonetheless ruin? When this is over, it's really over."

She stormed out of the room rushing towards James' room. She flung herself on the bed beside him and he wrapped an arm around her, shushing her so that she would stop crying.

"It's going to be all right." He whispered.

Maria crept to the door to listen.

"No, it's not, James." She sobbed. "We can't win this."

"Yes, you can. There's a way out for you. That's all I care about. I don't care if he kills me. I've done enough wrong and my time is coming. That's why I believe the sanity is returning. But at the same time I know I still have long to live for there is much work to be done. I know what Maria has made you do to me."

Her eyes widened in fear.

"I'm not angry, Victoria. It's survival. Just know that I will get you out of this mess. I promise."

…

The wait seemed to take forever, and pregnancy seemed to make Bella even more impatient than she already was. Carlisle squeezed her hand to help her get rid of her nervous energy.

"Bella Swan." The receptionist called.

She jumped to her feet as did Carlisle and walked towards the woman.

"Someone's a bit excited." The receptionist pointed out and then looked at Carlisle. "You both must be ecstatic. Is it your first?"

Carlisle kissed Bella on the cheek and then nodded.

"Then you'll love Zafrina."

Then a dark haired woman, who looked Amazonian appeared from a room and smiled.

"And you must be Bella and Carlisle, Eleazar's friends."

Carlisle couldn't help but smirk.

"Eleazar always pulls through and won't let us have anyone but the best."

The receptionist left leaving the couple in the hands of Zafrina.

"Eleazar is a dear friend. I appreciate his recommendations. We can all use that in this economy."

Bella nodded in agreement.

"We'll just go ahead and get you settled in this room." She held the door open. "We'll see the baby through the ultra-sound first and then a consultation. Carlisle, I'm afraid that you need to wait outside."

"Why can't I be with my fiancé? I want to be there with her to see our child for the first time?" Carlisle was flabbergasted for he felt he had every right to be in the room with her.

"Please, I need him there with me. I understand why you normally don't allow the men inside on the first visit, but I can assure you that anything you say to me about the baby, be good or bad, you can say to him."

With a sigh Zafrina offered Bella her clipboard.

"Then sign this saying you are acting against our standards. Whatever you find out is no longer my responsibility if conflict results between you and Carlisle because of the information disclosed about your child today."

After signing the consent form Bella took Carlisle by the hand and followed their doctor inside.

New years had come and gone and Isabella's bump had grown a tad bit larger. When she laid down on the bed and pulled up her shirt he couldn't help but swoon. He sat down in the chair beside her and reached over to kiss her softly.

"Are you nervous?" She murmured.

"A little bit, but only because we've been anticipating our piccola."

"I can't wait to finally see him or her."

"Neither can I, Angel. I haven't been so anxious in my life since I proposed to you."

"Oh, Honey." Bella swooned.

Zafrina squirted the cold jelly like liquid on Bella's womb and then pressed the wand to her skin. The couple watched her search for their child in the womb and when she did Bella's heart swelled and Carlisle was in awe as a tear fell from his eyes.

"There's your little bundle of joy." Zafrina sounded like she was singing.

"Oh, Isabella." Carlisle swooned. "There's our piccola."

"Oh, Carlisle. He, she, whatever our baby is, is perfect."

She squeezed his hand and then continued to gaze at their child. A thousand thoughts swam through Carlisle's head as he stared at his child on the screen. Though he was constantly looking back to the woman he adored, smiling at her beauty as she glowed with maternal love. He was going to be a father. His child was growing within the shelter of Isabella's womb. He or she would grow big and strong and then greet the world. He couldn't wait to have his little prince or princess in his arms.

"You're six weeks and one day." Zafrina spoke up. "And you're baby is well and growing at a normal rate."

Bella was staring at the screen with love dancing through her entire existence. Her child was in her view, a small being no more than two or three millimeters and yet her child was bigger than life.

"She's perfectly healthy, Isabella." Carlisle murmured.

She turned her head to look at him and he saw her tears of joy, which he wiped away.

"He's healthy." She whispered happily.

"Yes, she is." Carlisle teased. "Our little princess is beautiful, just like her mother."

"You mean our little prince is handsome just like his father."

"I mean what I said."

"And I mean what I said." She giggled.

He kissed her temple and then looked up to see Zafrina smiling.

"I'm guessing you want copies of the ultra sound."

Carlisle confirmed that with a large smile on his face.

"It's time to start baby shopping." Bella practically squealed.

Carlisle couldn't help but laugh. Isabella wasn't one to get excited about shopping. He knew she really wanted to go find a wedding dress soon, but they needed to set a date so they would know when she should start looking because of the baby. They had decided that they wanted to be married before the baby came and so now they knew how far along she was so they could start planning.

"And a wedding to plan."

"And I have to prepare my pitch to Jessica for the March issue and April issue because February is obviously all about love."

"And we have to set up more visits for the girls."

"We're going this weekend right?"

"Yes, and Bree called me and said that they are very anxious to see us."

"We have to figure out what to do about Spencer."

Carlisle nodded as Zafrina removed the wand and wiped off the jelly. Bella pulled her shirt down and sat up.

"And Mary."

Bella agreed and Carlisle helped her off the table.

"We need to talk to Bree about all of this. We possibly can't adopt right now. We need to focus on this baby we have in the oven and our wedding, along with James and our jobs."

Carlisle couldn't argue with that. Da Vinci was their dog child and he couldn't even be with them right now. Riley had him back at Bella's work where she needed to get back to. They needed to make wedding and baby plans. Jessica nor Riley knew she was pregnant. Bella was waiting to announce it at the right time.

"I need to get back. Riley is going be suspicious. He doesn't have a job without me to tell him what to do. He can only edit perfect articles for so long."

…

Bella hurried back to her office, her kitten heels clicking on the tile. Carlisle had begged her not to wear the high heels that she normally wore because of her job for the sake of the baby. Though she wasn't as clumsy as she was in her past, the baby weight could cause her to be thrown off balance quite easily if on heels. And when she got larger her back would hurt and her ankles would swell and she could not be comfortable in heels. And so he settled for her wearing of kitten heels that really weren't all that high. Jessica had commented on the lack of height this morning and Bella made a comment about avoiding an accident due to her klutzy nature.

"Bella, finally you're back." Riley flocked to her side as she passed the receptionist desk.

"Sorry, I took so long."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I'm great actually. We have another section to add to the wall in the office."

He was confused but followed her in anyway. Alice had covered two of the walls with corkboard covered in fabric. One wall was solely dedicated to work. The other was to her wedding, and now her baby.

He shut the door and watched as Bella moved some things around on the wall so that half of it was reserved for the new event. She pinned a single picture to it and motioned for him to come over as she stripped out of her jacket.

"Bella, that's not what I think it is?" Riley asked in shock.

"My child, yes."

"Oh my." Riley began to grin like an idiot. "You're having a baby!"

She embraced him and he did so in return.

"I'm so happy for you, Bella. You and Carlisle are going to be great parents."

"Thank you." Bella squealed. "And there's something I need to talk to you about."

"What is it?" Riley asked, sounding worried.

"I know that after a year, or maybe years, you'll want to move on from being an assistant. I know how passionate you are and don't want to be held back as an assistant. I love you, Riley. You're family to me and I don't know how I would survive this job as editor-in-chief without you. So I don't want to hold you back. With the wedding and now a baby, since I don't plan on quitting or taking a very long maternity leave, I'm going to need an assistant outside of work. You know like a personal assistant. And so you and that person would have to get along. I need someone right now who can coordinate with you, in charge of my work schedule, all the time. I need someone to keep my life organized because I can't possibly do so with everything going on. I plan to work from home quite a bit until he or she goes to school."

"Thank you for not assuming me to that position, Bella. I would gladly do it, but I do wish to someday make a name for myself."

She put her hand on his shoulder and smiled.

"I know, Riley. You're young and you don't need to get trapped in someone's life who is settling down when you're just beginning to spread your wings. All I need from you is when I start looking for a personal assistant, is that you are there with me so that I can make sure you two work well together."

"Well we better get looking for one because you got a little one in the oven." He looked at her asking the silent question and she nodded.

He put his hand on her womb and smiled.

"I think it's a girl."

"You just want it to be a girl because you want to dress it in sparkles." Bella giggled.

"I bet you Carlisle wants it to be a girl, too."

"Yes, but I think it's a boy."

"Can I still go baby shopping with you even when you get your personal assistant?"

Puerile blush flushed his cheeks and she couldn't help but giggle and hug him.

"Of course, Riley. I can't imagine you not being part of the process."

"Bows are important."

"For girls."

"I know what you're having."

"I'm having a mini Carlisle."

"You're having a mini Carlisle or a mini Bella."

"Ok, then. Now that we have that settled let's get to work shall we?"

"Are you ready for your pitch?"

"Always ready." Bella said with a smirk.

…

"I don't if we are ever going to find someone organized enough." Bella sighed, resting her head on Carlisle's shoulder.

Currently they were at home viewing possible clients to be Bella's personal assistant. Carlisle had pulled people from his database involved in the mafia because it would be easier if the assistant was already aware of Carlisle's status. Then they wouldn't have to worry if they could trust the person knowing about the Mafia. Riley and Jessica were still very much unaware, and it would stay that way. Even if this person was going to be coordinating with Riley all the time, it was impetrative that Riley remain unaware of Carlisle's true occupation. This morning the couple had open schedules and decided to screen possible assistants before Carlisle had a meeting in the afternoon as did Isabella. Most of the people they saw this morning had been women, and every single one of them had been more interested in Carlisle than the job they were being interviewed for. The straight men they had interviewed were too focused on Bella for Carlisle's liking.

"That last one was a nightmare." Carlisle groaned. "I'm wondering how good my judgment is if these people work with me even if they are not part of the mafia."

She hugged him with sympathy.

"Don't blame yourself. Good help is hard to find these days."

"Here's the last one." Riley announced as he walked into the room with the last guy.

He was gorgeous. Tall, broad shouldered, slightly tanned skinned, dark brown eyes that were almost black, and unruly hair that was the color of midnight. Not to mention he was dressed properly for an interview, but had his own personal touch of a leather jacket, which he had slung over his shoulder causing him to look like a supermodel. But then Bella saw him glance over at Riley and winked. The man was gay.

Carlisle stood up, Bella following in suite as the man neared, and they shook hands.

"I'm Dean Taylor. It's a pleasure to meet you both."

Dean looked at Carlisle, but he was not the most attractive person in the room in his eyes. And he knew very well it was unprofessional to ogle a possible employer or their significant other. But he knew of the mafia and that Carlisle was Don, along with being very taken by his fiancé, Bella, the reason Dean was even here.

"Have a seat." Carlisle suggested.

Being the loving man that he was, Carlisle wrapped an arm around Bella as she sat down. He would always be hypersensitive to her but her pregnant state brought out his paternal instincts.

Dean handed over his resume and the couple both looked it over as he explained some of his past working experiences he thought he should highlight. Bella then began to ask questions, and she had Dean's undivided attention.

"I see that you've been a personal assistant before. Then you must understand the demands of the job."

Dean nodded.

"Yes, Miss Swan. I understand that my job is to keep my employer's life organized."

"I'm not sure if you're aware but Carlisle and I are engaged and as soon as we set a date I'll need your help keeping track of wedding related things and so you'll be coordinating with the wedding planner as well. And I am also pregnant so there will be baby planning as well as my social life. You'd be coordinating constantly with Riley, who is my assistant at work."

"I assure you that I will be able to handle it all. I dedicate myself to my job."

Carlisle closed the file and smiled smugly.

"You're aware that Isabella works for a fashion magazine and is editor-in-chief. Cooperating with Riley will be mandatory. Very much is demanded of her because of her position."

"I only plan to take a short maternity leave. I'll being work from home most of the time until our child starts school." Bella explained.

"I know it's not my place, but have you considered a nanny? I know that both of your jobs demand large portions of your time."

Bella's eyes widened.

"No, we don't want one. But thank you for the suggestion. Despite my hands on job, I get to work my own hours unless I have client consultations, board meeting I need to direct, but my boss reassured me that I can video chat the meetings once the baby is here, and the only other time I really need to be on site is for photo shoots. Though I do prefer to work at the office we'll make due."

"And regardless of my work I control my schedule. I'm not going to let Isabella raise the child alone despite tradition of my profession. I will be an active participant in our child's life." Carlisle looked over at Isabella and smiled as she leaned against him. "What do you say, Love?" He murmured.

Isabella smiled, got up and held out her hand to Dean.

"You're hired."

So what did you all think? So just for reference the first poem was My love hath my heart and I have his by Mary Coleridge and the second was an excerpt from Poryhria's Lover by Robert Browning. As much as I love music I also love my poetry. Christina Rossetti, Rudyard Kipling, Emily Dickinson, Shel Silverstein, and Robert Frost are just a few of my favorite poets.

Anyway, so I bet you all are a bit confused about James. It looks like he is trying to do good. To clear things up a bit, it's very hard to tell his sanity from insanity anymore. I don't want this to be a Shutter Island copy, but I'd say he's so insane that he's sane. Victoria seems like she is good, but I'm still got some tricks up my sleeve. Maria is in deep shit, but James is a pawn as I have already established earlier in the story. Everyone's true nature comes out in the end no matter how good he or she tries to be. So that will prevail in the end.

So as far as the baby goes, thanks to some help from Keeper of the Covenant my thoughts have been sorted out and I now am certain that my gut instinct is correct. Thank you for the help. So I'm still shuffling a few cards around. I hate to pull an Edward Twilight quote, but it's like he said in the books "I'm not the most dangerous thing out there." In this case it applies to Maria, just as James warns. Some of you might know who I am talking about besides the obvious, the Cullen/ Volturi mafia is pretty damn dangerous and not to be messed with. Just think about it and maybe you'll find who the dangerous people are, but I won't tell you. :p

Ok, so I thought it was necessary to give Bella a personal assistant other than Riley. The thought came to me when I was thinking about Bethany from the real housewives of New York who is now going to be on Skating with the Stars, I thought back to her show, Bethany Getting Married, and thought about her assistants Max and Julie, and I realized that Bella really needs a real personal assistant not just for work. So I had to look back at all the names of the vampires and I found Dean as a minor character, only mentioned a few times with really no description of character physically or personality wise and decided he'd be the bad boy but bats for the other team.

So that's really it for now. I don't want to give anything away like I've been wanting to do and almost decided to do just now. But please review and thank you all for being loyal readers.