Thanks to Dollegirl and my beta Nicnicd. I would be a stumbling mess without them.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…..just a ducky #6.

I Hate You, Kiss Me

"When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman." -Joss Whedon, Spike to Buffy

Chapter Twenty-Six

I was overjoyed for Alice when she sailed into the office with a rock on her ring-finger. We hugged and danced in place, drawing the attention of everyone nearby. I was thankful that Mr. and Mr. Lawrence weren't in the vicinity for this short spectacle, but I assumed they would find out the news when Alice asked for extra time off to do wedding preparations.

"I'm going to be Mrs. Mary Alice Brandon Whitlock the Third!" she exclaimed in an ear-piercing soprano, shoving her engagement ring right under my nose for closer inspection.

Jasper must have been saving for a long time. The diamond was beautiful, the clarity of the stone glittering between two smaller sapphire gems.

"He always knew that I was the one for him! Can you believe it? I feel so stupid now, worrying so much the last few days."

I sat her down at her desk, insisting that she tell me everything. "You had every right to, Alice. Now start from the beginning, I'm dying to know what happened."

Alice exploded with her story as she peeled off her coat. "It was the cutest, most unexpected thing. Ironic isn't it? Here I am, planning out my future everyday while everyone bites their nails over a first date, and I didn't even see a proposal coming."

She sat back in her chair, blissfully admiring her new ring. The sun behind the clouds weakly streaming through the window caught on the stone and silver band, making it flash and twinkle.

"Jazz looked so awful and practically terrified, Bella. I thought he was going to tell me he had cancer and vomit on my shoes from nervousness when he got down on one knee. Everybody in the bar quieted, which of course only made me even more nervous. I thought we would faint together on the floor."

Struck with glee, she flung forward in her chair, clutching her chest. "Then, you can't even imagine my shock when he pulled out that small velvet box… Right in front of everyone! He started by apologizing, saying he was sorry for upsetting me and acting badly, for making a mess of everything and ruining the surprise, and if I could find it anywhere in my heart to forgive him…"

Re-living the moment, her expression smoothed to sympathy, her eyes far away. I was on the edge of her desk, leaning forward eagerly. "And? I can see that you did, but what happened?" I demanded with surging curiosity.

She giggled coyly. "He didn't finish his speech because at that point I started to cry. Not because I was still angry, but just all the stress. And you know much I melt under his slanted, deep blue eyes..."

Alice trailed off again for a moment, lost in dreamy thought. The pause had my own thoughts drifting to something sweet, like Edward's eyes; the spectrum of green and depth of emotion they held… Alice shook her head, clearing it. I glanced back to her.

"So I flung my arms around him, crying into his shoulder. He hugged me tightly, and people in the bar started muttering nervously—something about crying makes guys uncomfortable. Anyway, Jasper thought his apology made me more upset, but he didn't know what else to do so he kept apologizing. And you know Jazz... he's a guy of few words, but really knows just the right thing to say when the occasion calls for it. He whispered in my ear how much he loved me."

Alice's hazel eyes sparkled and a blush bloomed in her cheeks, her voice tapering off softly. "Bella, it was a moment I'll never forget. We finally broke apart and he popped open the velvet box right in my face and told me he couldn't imagine spending his life without me. That's when he asked me to be his wife…" A small tear slipped down her pale cheek, and my own eyes burned and blurred.

A trace of sadness for myself mingled with my joy for Alice. I really wanted Edward and me to stay close like we were now. It was weird thinking so far into the future from a relationship aspect, but I could only hope that after a couple years, we would still be happy like Alice and Jasper. I hugged her, both of us half-laughing, half-crying, joking about how ridiculous we looked tailing Jasper last night.

Apparently, the woman Jasper had secretly met in the store was a jewelry owner. He had picked out the ring on a previous occasion and begged the woman to keep it on hold for a day and not sell it. Then he had to get the band resized since Alice's fingers were so slender, and last night he finally went to pick it up.

"And after he slowly slipped the ring on my finger, the bar cheered and whooped, and we got free drinks until closing. It was more fabulous than a quiet romantic dinner!"

Alice proceeded to tell me the rest of the information behind Jasper's strange behavior. As they walked home after leaving the bar, Jasper spilled his guts about everything. My situation with James had him uneasy and after the horrible incident, it snapped Jasper into action. His love and care for Alice went aflame, imagining that something terrible could happen to her, and he didn't want to waste any more time. He'd been saving and dawdling with the idea of marriage, but the thought of losing Alice, or even a close encounter really cemented his decision. Every day he grew more nervous as he tried to plan a way to ask her. He wanted to blurt out his proposal so many times, but panicked under pressure, assuming that the setting had to be romantic and the moment had to be perfect. When he saw her thoroughly upset last night, he wondered why he had still waited.

I could understand Jasper now, feeling the same skittishness within me that he'd been feeling for weeks. On the other hand, the softer, feminine part of me yearned for the secure happiness Alice felt. Where every crevice of the world shines; nothing bad could ever touch you, because you're in love. I cleared my throat. "Wow Alice, that's quite a story."

"It sure is," Rose said behind us from the doorway. She gave us a tight-lipped smile and congratulated Alice. She also admitted that she didn't feel like squatting next to garbage bins in the middle of the night anymore. I had to agree.

Alice and I teased Rose about when it would be her turn to get hitched, cracking a few jokes about Emmett down on one knee. Alice claimed that since she got engaged first, she didn't care if our retired manwhore finally tied the knot, too.

Rose flushed prettily and weakly scolded us to get back to work.

It left me wondering about my theories on men, and if it was possible to find the one. Or if you could just learn to love anybody. Angela had her match, Alice had found her someone, but that was a given, too. Even Rose, who had been quick to disclaim every assumption I made about her, had her one. Me? I had something great. I had something beautiful. And it both scared and thrilled the hell out of me.

A headache began to form in my skull as Alice spent the morning calling each and every family member with the news, causing another wave of high-pitched squeals and Alice wiping small tears of happiness from the corner of her eyes. I'd heard the same scene replay itself behind the half-wall of our shared office for hours. I couldn't imagine that Alice had that many relatives.

It wasn't just the headache that was overshadowing my sheer joy for Alice into a state of grumpiness though. For one, I had a mountain of work that I was catching up on from being absent all last week. Secondly, a small twinge of panic was needling me in the stomach. I didn't want Edward to get any ideas after talking with Jasper so much about his newly affianced plans. Surely he wouldn't... I loved him, but I didn't know how I felt about marriage. Despite our shenanigans, Edward was practical. I was counting on that.

Memories from last night in the Jaguar kept crashing over me like a steady ocean tide. I was a healthy mess inside—if there was such a term to call it. I was in love with Edward; the certainty of my feelings only deepened when I woke this morning.

They tainted my thoughts and decisions at every moment. Edward was part of me in countless ways, part of who I was and my life now. When people said, "When you fall in love, you just know it," I hadn't realized the altruistic quality that came with it.

When James restrained me in my own apartment, all I had agonized over was how Edward would feel if I was violated and killed. Or when we made love and I wasn't fully satisfied unless he released himself with me. I cared about seeing him smile or when he overworked at the office or if he thought I looked pretty in a particular outfit. The great relevance behind these seemingly small concerns nearly had me choking with emotion at times.

Somewhere along the way, things had stopped solely being about me.

Sighing, I waged all the pros and cons of these recent developments when Edward came breezing in with two cups of fresh coffee. Bless him.

I gulped down the steaming creamy, aromatic liquid while keeping my eyes on his. We stared at each other over our coffee cups, having a silent conversation. He "told" me that I looked rather sexy in my slacks and blouse and wanted to make love to me in his office later. Well, that's what I gathered from his slow, roaming gaze down my body and then the far away eye-flicker toward his office door. I "told" him that he was very naughty by raising one of my brows, but that I approved by giving him a small smirk. Then he greeted me with a "good morning" by tipping his head slightly, a smile warming his green eyes. I "thanked" him by batting my lashes over the steaming cup and smiling back.

Men.

Jasper followed in the doorway, looking fresh as a daisy and not at all green in complexion like he did at the bar last night.

"Congratulations to one lucky man," I greeted.

"You look much healthier this morning," Edward said with a sly smile.

Jasper laughed nervously and scratched the back of his hair. "Thanks Bella. I am a lucky guy. I just hope Alice doesn't get too carried away..."

Edward chuckled as he eyed his friend. "Who do you think you're marrying?"

"Honestly Jasper, you knew this was coming. Alice has been planning her wedding long before she met you. I have no sympathy for you," I stated, holding back a giggle.

"I imagine that most women in their late twenties already have their weddings planned out," Edward commented, glancing at me.

"Not at all," I said with an arched brow. "Some don't even think of marriage, let alone fantasize about a wedding."

"Well... most women do though, even if they pretend they don't," he said, looking at me pointedly now.

This was exactly what I was afraid of. The real question was: Did Edward fear I was now daydreaming about marriage, or was he thinking about it and trying to gauge my feelings toward the notion?

I proceeded to speak carefully, but meaningfully. "I'm sure that those who seem like they're pretending aren't pretending at all. It's an illusion that a man has built for himself so he doesn't feel guilty about doing nothing except showing up at the altar."

"Maybe if women didn't turn their weddings into parades, men would contribute more," he retorted dryly.

"And if weddings were left up to men, they would end up being small intimate gatherings of close friends with an open bar. No formalwear."

"That sounds rather nice," he breathed over his coffee before sipping it.

It does, I thought, finishing my own. It sounded like we wanted the same thing, which was comforting to know even though it put me on edge, too. I mean, we hadn't even declared love and here we were talking about our wedding in subtext.

"Am I missing something here?" Jasper finally cut in.

Our attention whipped back to Jasper, who we'd apparently forgotten about.

Alice hung up with another Branden relative and wheeled over to his side. "I already have a mental head-count of our guest list. Everyone in my family is so excited!"

Edward snorted into his cup while I gave Jasper a cheeky thumbs-up.

"And what is so funny, Edward?" she asked, standing from her chair. Her dreamy expression faded, replaced by a steely look.

I mentally recoiled and hoped Edward wouldn't crack a joke and give her his usual smirk.

The four of us fell silent for a moment while Alice and Edward stared at each other.

He raised his coffee cup to her. "Congratulations, Alice. Not only have you made Jasper one of the happiest men alive, but you'll be one beautiful bride," he said with slow sincerity.

Edward had an unending supply of charm emanating from his pores.

Alice gave him a dazzling smile, laced with a trace of ice to it. "Thank you, Edward."

"That's Mr. Cullen to you," he smirked, sidestepping her verbal retaliation by slipping out of our office. He shot me an alluring grin before vanishing.

~/~/~/~

Unfortunately, my honeymooning stage with Edward was cut short when Alice finally threw me into her plans of wedding preparations a few weeks later. There was no real need for them to rush into a ceremony, but now that Alice had the green light, she shifted into full throttle bride-to-be mode. Their friends Peter and Charlotte came into town shortly after hearing the news to help with the planning. Alice asked Charlotte and me to join her cousins and be bridesmaids on her wedding day, and her mother flew in for a few days, too. All of a sudden a large group of people were involved.

I had only met Peter and Charlotte a handful of times when they visited for Jasper's birthday in the past. Charlotte was a quiet woman, but not because she was shy or had nothing to say. She was practical and sweet, with calm intelligence in her brown eyes. She and Peter traveled the world frequently due to his job installing money-managing software for businesses. Peter was tall, but not as tall as Jasper, with gray eyes and a casual smile adorning his features. Jasper teased him about always wearing suits since it was pretty much the only attire he wore when traveling and working. They both grew up in Texas, and had remained friends since they split for college and settled into their own careers. Peter and Charlotte were cultured and open, and always friendly. It was refreshing to see them.

Despite my joy in seeing old friends and the general warmth that came from newly affianced lovebirds, I developed a love/hate relationship with Alice over the next several weeks.

She was very sweet to include me in the entire process of what she deemed to be 'insider' planning of the most important day of her life, but it was absolute chaos compared to my usual quiet lifestyle.

Wedding planning was an excellent distraction from the loneliness of my apartment and my nervousness over spilling my guts to Edward, but sometimes I wanted to throttle her. The seemingly unnecessary decisions of choosing lace or satin that became do or die must-haves agitated me. Though Alice knew what she liked, she tried to get my opinion on everything. When I automatically agreed with her (which somehow made her annoyed), she would appeal to Charlotte or her mother.

Mrs. Branden was a short, tiny woman like Alice, but rounder around the edges. She had as much exuberance as her daughter about planning the wedding, but did her best to rein Alice in when it came to cost and pricing.

I laughed to myself several times at how I used to grumble and throw pens to cope with Edward's disturbances in my life. The next few weeks were a whole other ballpark of nonsense compared to him. Now I had the urge to throw my calendar out the window because it was filled with Alice's agenda.

My quick fixes for the sudden madness were having lots of sex with Edward. We tried to, at least. Edward grew increasingly irritated with Alice when it meant less time for him to spend with me. I understood—I was feeling the withdrawal, too. I was secretly in love and as ridiculous as it seemed, I actually felt my body ache for him when I got whisked away for a bridesmaid dress fitting.

One afternoon I was in desperate need of a little satisfaction and Alice was driving me up a wall about "the million things we have to do after work or bust". I decided to take Edward up on that unspoken offer of getting some lovin' in his office.

In my usual manner, I strode over and knocked, pressing my ear to his door to listen in. Lauren gave me a rude look, but was polite enough not to stare at the familiarity of my habits. I tried to look annoyed with Edward to keep up the charade.

"Come in," he said from behind the door.

There was nothing in the world like seeing Edward meticulously working behind his desk with one hand aimlessly threading in his own hair. His white shirt sleeves were rolled up to his forearms and his green tie hung forward as he leaned over a pile of documents. It was rather endearing to see him so intently focused on his work. I almost hated to interrupt him…

He smiled when I closed the door behind me.

By the time he dropped his highlighter on the desk, I was perched in his lap and unbuttoning his shirt. He kissed my lips hungrily with a soft groan at my unexpected attack and brought his arms around my back to hold me close. He was warm and his lips were soft, his mouth wet and tasting like French roast. I sighed into the kiss and smoothed my hands over his chest where I'd made a small opening to feel his skin. The added pressure of his erection against my thigh spurred me to wind my hands into his hair and tangle our tongues together.

Edward groaned again, the rhythm of his breathing increasing, his hands roaming more urgently down my sides. He cupped my rear and laid me down onto his desk. I felt the crunch of his papers beneath me as his hands palmed over my bare legs and slid my skirt up around my waist.

This was the first time we'd ever dared to go this far in his office. We joked and teased a lot about going at it up against his bookshelves and in his chair, but we didn't go past making out and groping with promises of more after work.

I had come to the conclusion that this was an emergency. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Edward undid his belt and wrenched open his pants, understanding the need for us to be quick. He peppered my neck with wet kisses and I pulled at his hair anxiously. His silent eagerness and my partially exposed form caused a surge of arousal to course through my veins. He raised my legs and spread them, pulling the small patch of lacy fabric to the side and bent his head. I felt his warm breath hovering over my sensitive spot. The wet flesh quivered as an abrupt knock at the door sounded.

Edward's head snapped up from between my legs and we looked at each other in silent shock.

My mind screamed all sorts of profanities as he dragged me off his desk in panic and shoved my skirt back down.

"Fucking Christ," he whispered, buckling his belt with fumbling fingers.

"You can't leave me like this," I hissed, the ache between my legs intensifying.

"Edward, you in there?" a squeaky voice called from behind the door. Jack from bookkeeping.

Edward pushed me down under his desk with a firm hand to my head and sat in his chair as he bid Jack to enter. Not that I didn't mind the bulging view I was getting from under the desk, but it was cramped and I was stuck in the small space for thirty minutes while Jack rambled on and Edward shifted awkwardly in his chair. As terrified as I was to get caught like this in Edward's office, I couldn't help using the opportunity to tease him. I trailed my hand up his leg as far as I could get away with. Every time my fingertips edged along his thigh he shifted and emitted a warning growl under his breath. I had to muffle my laugh. However, by the time Jack left and I was freed, the mood had fizzled out and I didn't want to be missing from my desk for too long since I had a meeting with Rose that afternoon.

I had never been "cock-blocked" that badly before and with Alice dragging me all over on errands, I became moody and scatterbrained.

Alice did redeem herself somewhat amidst the chaos by bringing Charlotte and I to taste an extensive variety of wedding cakes. I wasn't ashamed to admit that I tried mouthfuls of each one, and they were all delicious. After much debating and several more servings of her narrowed down choices, Alice finally decided on a cherry and ganache filling with a rich chocolate fondant icing.

Alice had a lot of connections and friends at the hotel where she booked her annual Halloween parties so she was able to secure a banquet room for her wedding reception in two months. I was shocked at her efficiency. The hotel wasn't as grand as where the Lawrence annual holiday party was held, but it was still a stunning building with a glamorous reputation and style.

The major convenience from all of these errands was that Alice knew exactly what she wanted and Jasper just wanted her to plan whatever made her truly happy. What would take most people six months to a year of wedding planning took Alice less than a fraction of that time. She had her folders and scrap-booked binder filled with details that she'd been thinking about for years. Though I had joked about it in the past, I was sure that Alice really did have all of her china patterns picked out for her and Jasper once they were newly wedded.

I didn't think that I could ever be brave enough to plan ahead quite like Alice. It was frightening to think of going through all of that work and getting my hopes up with the possibility of things not working out. Besides, even if I wanted to Edward would argue with me over every little detail should the opportunity present itself. The color of the flowers, the music, location, guest list, everything. I could imagine us already bickering like two crows over paint swatches for a new apartment... I pushed the premature thoughts away. All this wedding planning was clearly confusing my usually cautious state of mind.

"How ya holding up?" Rosalie asked from the doorway one evening. It had been another long day and I was packing up my things to go home.

"I never want to look at another wedding dress or dinner menu for the rest of my life," I admitted.

She gave me a small smile. "I can't say I'm envious to be included more."

"If you do change your mind, I'd be happy to switch places with you for the next few weeks," I joked weakly, pulling my coat on.

"Hmm, maybe you'll get a break soon," she said lightly.

"Doubtful. Alice is like the Energizer bunny."

She laughed at that. "That's why I hired her. Well, you better get your rest. Have a good night, Bella." She clicked her way back over to her office, her blonde hair swaying with her hips.

As soon as I got back to my apartment, I crashed into a deep sleep from utter exhaustion.

The next morning, I received an interesting phone call from Emmett.

"I know you hate when I call you at work," he chuckled.

I laughed, doodling with a pen on yellow note paper. "I only said that because you would call about dates and completely random stuff. Admit it, most of it was unnecessary."

"So? I like bugging you." I could almost see his broad grin from over the phone. "So yeah, how 'bout that double date I was talking about awhile ago."

"I believe you phrased it as 'that shit that couples' do'."

"Yeah, you wanna?"

"Well..."

"Word on the street says you need a break from your star role in Bridezillas," he said amusingly.

So this was also Rose's idea... "The fact that you just made a reference from that "trash", as you put it, shows how well I've converted you over the years," I stated smugly. He grumbled in disagreement as I finished typing up some notes for Mr. and Mr. Lawrence.

"How about dinner..." I suggested, mentally thumbing through my—or rather Alice's—schedule.

"Fine by me. I think Rose would want to pick the restaurant though."

"I'll get back to you on a day and time then."

~/~/~/~

Edward and I finally got a night to ourselves. Alice was out monitoring Jasper's taste in groomsman suits, so I thankfully had a break from the chaos. Charlotte looked just as relieved to have a night off before her and Peter flew home. They were due back in a few weeks for the wedding ceremony.

I really did love Edward with my entire being, but there was still that small prick of terror that came with the vulnerability of just putting it out there.

Perhaps there was a lesson to be learned from Jasper. If I waited too long to reveal my feelings to Edward, I could cause damage to the current solidity of our relationship.

It was with these thoughts that I found myself in a cozy little restaurant across from him with our ice waters. We had bouts of small talk, each topic of conversation tapering off into silence. The awkwardness was my entire fault.

We were finally alone, in a romantic setting at dinner, but when I looked into his powerful eyes and thought of those three little words, my mind cramped up and the urge to run jabbed at me.

I was really fucking nervous.

The fact that Edward suspected something was wrong, therefore causing him to watch me more closely, only unnerved me further.

The moment our food arrived, we sat in silence, chewing and glancing at each other intermittently. I shoveled food into my mouth, using Emmett's tactic, thinking I could escape all conversation if I just kept chewing the entire time.

Edward ate slowly, not at all fooled that something was different. "Everything all right?" he asked, swallowing his bite of steak.

I nodded, almost trembling under his pointed stare.

Edward finished his last bite and sat back in his chair, continuing his observance of his crazy girlfriend who was munching like a beggar. The silence was almost unbearable and I kept my eyes on my food. The last bite was like a timer in its last seconds as I chewed slowly.

As soon as I swallowed, Edward opened his mouth to speak. Promptly, the waiter arrived to clear our plates and asked us if we wanted anything else.

"Just the bill—"

"Actually I'd like dessert," I piped up, interrupting Edward. I'd spent all this time worrying and working myself up to a confession that I hadn't even thought about how to phrase what I wanted to say. I didn't want to just blurt out "I love you"; I had to warm up to the subject. We couldn't leave yet.

The waiter immediately went to fetch dessert menus.

Edward's thick brows rose. "Really? You don't usually order dessert."

I mentally fumbled for an excuse. "I don't know, I'm just in the mood," I said, not really convincing him all that well.

The waiter returned with dessert menus for each of us. I ordered the largest one: The seven layer chocolate mouse cake with strawberry sauce.

Edward didn't say anything, but he seemed to be thinking something new as he watched me slowly devour the velvety mountain of rich chocolate.

It was a delicious cake; the flavors of rich, creamy cocoa sliding over my taste buds and making a nice little home in my stomach. The satisfaction took the edge off my nervousness.

"Are you pregnant?" Edward asked abruptly, his voice sounding strange.

I looked up from my plate to see him gazing at me, his jaw slack. My wrist went limp on the table, the fork clanking loudly against the lip of the plate.

"Absolutely not!" I exclaimed, my eyes wide and staring at him sharply. "Why on earth would you think that?"

Edward's rigid form thawed and he relaxed in his chair, exhaling deeply. "It's just, you're eating so much tonight. It's unusual."

Well this was definitely not where I wanted the conversation to go. I did my best to keep calm. "Is there something wrong with women who eat?"

He pulled at the collar of his shirt like he was relieving himself from strangulation. "Of course not. But you're acting weird tonight. You've been acting weird since Alice got engaged..." His brows rose questioningly.

I slowly put my fork down and pushed the half-eaten cake away from me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." My determination unraveled.

He leaned forward, speaking lower. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No! No, definitely not. I've just had a lot on my mind—about Alice's wedding. Keeping up with all the planning has worn me out…" It was the truth in some way, if not the reason for my strange behavior.

"Then let's leave," he said firmly. He paid the bill and I left the rest of my cake on the table, glad to be leaving the restaurant and the tense moment behind us.

He reached for my hand, rubbing his fingertips over my knuckles as we drove back to his apartment.

After Edward hung up our coats on the hooks in the hallway by the door, I laid my purse on the counter and slipped my heels off. As I turned around, Edward was there, sliding an arm around my waist and pulling me against him. I hummed with pleasure, never tiring of his company and the feel of body against mine. His lips went to the arch of my neck where it sloped into my shoulder, planting soft, slow kisses. I leaned my forehead against his chest with a happy sigh, my body blooming with excitement at the tenderness pouring from each kiss.

"Hi there," he murmured, lifting his head to peer into my eyes.

"Hi," I said softly. I smiled, feeling nervous butterflies scatter chaotically in my midsection. "Um so, Emmett and Rosalie want to do a double date soon," I said, disrupting the sweet moment and gently wiggling out of his arms.

He followed close behind me into the kitchen. "I'll check my schedule during the next two weeks and we'll plan a night."

"Great." I sidled up to the counter and grabbed a red apple from the fruit bowl.

The more I stayed over at Edward's apartment, the more it felt like home to me. I tried to keep his place stocked, but it was inevitable that a single man living alone wouldn't have too much around on a normal basis. I wasn't hungry, but eating for something to do seemed a more dignified option than fidgeting.

He raised one eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Just countering that cake with something healthy," I said quickly, rushing to fill the silence.

Edward sat at one of the stools across from me, watching skeptically as I cut slivers of the fruit with a knife and munched.

"What would the future Mrs. Alice Whitlock think of you going on a couples' date without inviting her?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I don't need her permission, but don't tell her."

He smirked at me. "Your free time is few and far between as it is. I wouldn't like her to put you on house arrest."

I popped another slice of apple into my mouth, enjoying the crunch and sweetness. "Nonsense, if I was stuck at home she wouldn't be able to drag me everywhere... That's actually not a bad idea," I agreed. I eyed his growing smirk with sudden annoyance. "And how come I'm the only one roped into all this tedious wedding planning? You and Jasper and Peter get to sit back and relax for weeks. It's not fair," I grumbled, snapping my teeth into another bite.

"It's been great," he laughed. "I can't believe I managed to sidestep Alice on this."

My eye twitched at him evilly. "Just wait. You might be asked to do some heavy lifting for a ridiculous ice sculpture. You never know."

"Doubtful. Knowing Alice, she'll most likely ask Emmett for things like that," he said with confident nonchalance. "Then she'll fuss over Jasper, and Peter is the best man. It looks like I'm in the clear." He didn't look worried in the slightest and continued to smirk smugly.

I was really getting tired of doing everything for Alice while the men got to sit back and enjoy themselves. With that in mind, I proceeded to give Edward a scare. He was enjoying my misery too much. I put a finger to my chin in thought.

"Actually, I do think I remember Alice saying something about you having a part in the wedding." I glanced at him innocently.

His smirk faded. "What kind of part?" he asked cautiously.

I pretended to think back on Alice's non-existent words, letting him sweat in his stool for a long moment. "Oh, it's not really a big deal. She wants you to read a poem at the reception—since you're so good at giving speeches..." Edward did love to hear himself talk and with the fact that he could command a courtroom with just his presence, it wasn't too far-fetched.

His expression lengthened. "Is it a long poem? Why would she want me to do this instead of a relative?" he asked, leaning forward on his elbows. His eyebrows drew together with severe disappointment.

"Well, I'm not really sure if she's decided on whether to choose one, or have you write one," I said brightly, sympathy seeping into my tone. I had to choke back a laugh and hoped my voice hadn't quivered at all.

"I don't write poetry. I don't read it either. Alice is going too far now. She didn't even ask, assuming away like she does," he muttered in annoyance.

"Edward, this is her special day we're talking about," I scolded with fake hurt.

He ran a hand through his hair and his jaw clenched. The urge to flea the dilemma was written all over his face. "I don't see how... I guess if she really wants me to... It's probably going to be a poem about flowers and singing birds in old English. I'll have to recite it like an inspirational speech." He sighed with uneasy frustration, fisting his hair and pulling with agitation.

Now I was starting to feel guilty. "Edward... it's going to be okay."

He looked at me with irritation, the side of his hair sticking up, and his initial objection slipped into defeat. "How the hell is it going to be okay?"

"Because, I was kidding," I admitted, a small smile stretching across my face.

His expression twisted into appalling confusion as he gaped at me. "What?"

I burst out laughing, my half-eaten apple forgotten on the counter.

"Bella," he started, his nostrils flaring. "How could you make me believe... I didn't even catch the signs of you lying…" He jutted his lower lip into a pout and glared at me.

My cheeks warmed as I tried to contain my laughter behind my hands, but his owl glare only made me laugh harder. My insides shook with triumph. "Oh my God, I love you. You should have seen your face," I chuckled, wiping tears from the corner of my eyes. "Singing birds and flowers, you looked terrified!"

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "What did you say?"

Edward stared at me with wide, probing eyes. My grin faded as I thought back to my words. Singing birds and flowers…Oh my God I— shit! The blood drained from my face. The magic words had escaped my lips, yet the reality of their meaning hovered in the space between us.

With all anger forgotten, his face grew very soft, his deep green eyes alive with emotion: Disbelief, adoration, pure unaltered joy. My own frozen expression collapsed in response. I assumed that these declarations would occur eventually, but I'd never realized how those three words spoken could affect him so much.

"You said you love me," he finally stated.

"So, you love me, too," I replied defensively, panic seeping into my raw voice.

His features smoothed out, recovering from the shock. "Of course I do. I just... I wasn't expecting you to say it so soon. I hoped...but—"

"What do you mean "of course"? Like I'm supposed to know? And, well... you've never said it either," I huffed.

"Bella Swan," he said low and serious, leaning across the counter toward me with calm determination. "I've been in love with you the whole time."

A ripple of alarm clawed through me, curling my toes and standing the hair on the back of my neck straight up. My chest squeezed and the air in my lungs felt trapped. If I thought my slipped confession was scary, his was terrifying. My mind sped and tripped as it skimmed months worth of moments, wondering when this realization occurred for him. Where were the signs? Under every smirk, menial task and demand, raging argument, and enigmatic expression, when did this happen for him? Then glimpses of the way he looked at me sometimes, the real smiles beneath the smirk, the dark sweaty nights together...

"Did you hear me?" he asked in a gritty tone.

"I—Yes... but when exactly?" I was in a stupor of muddled flashbacks. "You must be exaggerating," I started carefully. "You didn't even know me in the beginning and we fought so much. The way we treated each other until recently..."

"I remember it a bit differently." He sat back in his stool, grinning. "The first time you glared at me with those sparkling eyes over a gin and tonic, it went straight to my heart. I couldn't stop thinking about you.

When you trashed my apartment, while fucking my brains out, I told myself that you were like a tornado, storming into my life. It was all I could think about the first time Maria scolded me as she helped repair the damage."

Indignant by his teasing tone, I threw my half-eaten apple at him. He was already halfway out of his stool and caught it mid-air. He took a bite and grinned as his teeth crunched through juicy skin and flesh.

"Every time you stalked out of my office with those swinging hips and slammed my door, I was at your mercy," he continued around a mouth full of fruit.

I made my way around the counter slowly, preparing to attack. Edward backed up in the direction of the living room, stumbling over furniture. "When you cursed at me and scowled, I wanted so badly to shut you up with a kiss. Now I can!" I grabbed my Cosmopolitan magazine off the coffee table and tried to swat that smirk off his face. He dodged it with a twist of his torso and continued to stumble back around the room.

"On Halloween, that boy Colin asked me why you were staring at me, and it was the first time I had hope that you didn't really hate me. He asked me if you were my girl, and I told him that I wished you were, but didn't know how to tell you," he rushed on, his words streaming together. "He told me to be honest with you. Smart kid."

My face flushed. "All this time I wondered about that! I was embarrassed when you caught me looking."

"I caught you staring many times," he confessed, grinning wider. "Then those yellow ducks; I obsessed over number six. I couldn't believe you had one up on me. But it was perfect. You could always keep up with me. It was such a thrill in my life. I knew," he continued between laughing, "that you were the woman for me."

We began circling the coffee table with locked, predatory gazes. My eyes fiercely stared at his amused ones, a smile creeping to the corners of my mouth.

"When you stapled my tie, I saw in your eyes and the way you blushed, that you wanted me, too. It was all I could do not to throw you over my shoulder and make you mine again." Edward had to stop speaking, overcome by his own laughter. His complexion was red and he tried to catch his breath. "And then Christmas, I knew I was helpless to fight my feelings. You had so much passion and anger, keeping me on my toes. What kind of man waits in a bathroom stall and then let's a woman get him plastered and arrested? A man in love—"

I snapped, launching across the coffee table at him. He caught me around the waist and we both crashed onto his leather couch. I landed atop his chest, my hair tangled in my face, and our limbs caught together awkwardly. The magazine crunched between us, and the wind felt knocked out of me for a moment.

"It sounds like torture. You must be senile. I can't believe someone would enjoy a moment of any of it," I said in a muffled voice as I tried to sit upright.

"Call me a masochist, but I did enjoy every moment of it with you," he laughed, smoothing my hair out of my face with his free hand. "And then fantasizing about you in those pink handcuffs…" He rolled his eyes upward, smiling and biting his bottom lip as he imagined.

I tickled his side, jabbing my fingers into his ribs. "You are unbelievable."

He tried wiggling away from me, his smile fading. "Believe me, Bella Swan. It's all true," he said quietly, moving the last few stray hairs out of my face.

"You've loved me the whole time..." I said slowly, more to myself with belated realization. The weight and meaning behind his playful words sunk in, heavy and real, warming over me like a hot, cozy blanket around my heart and my worries ebbed away. I felt rather silly now about how much I had panicked earlier.

Edward's head was tucked between two couch pillows, his hair feathered out and disheveled. His face was still flushed from laughing and his green eyes were bright. They pleaded with me to understand, the amusement still lurking beneath their depths. Once again he'd been persistent and steadfast, believing in us.

"So many times I had rejected you. Yet I couldn't stop thinking about you either, albeit they weren't always nice thoughts… And you've been so patient with me—"

Edward gently squeezed my shoulders, silencing my ramble. "No, I was the one that pushed you too far at times, even when I knew you weren't ready. You taught me to be patient during a time when I selfishly thought I could have whatever I wanted. It was your stubbornness that made me realize how much I wanted you, and what I was willing to do."

Throughout all of this, with every passing day, he'd turned me, a scornful woman, into a loving person. I startled as the pad of his thumb brushed a fallen wet tear off my cheek. I blinked rapidly, clearing my vision.

"Say it again," he asked in a soft, deep voice, lightly dragging his index finger over my lips.

I paused, staring at him, waves of hope replacing every ounce of uncertainty. "I love you, Edward. Very much." I felt like I was floating again, filled with so much happiness that my body would shatter to pieces.

"I love you, Bella. Always. No matter how many times you drive me nuts." He offered a light, reassuring smile.

I smiled back, opting to be light-hearted too, and placed his hand over the magazine between our chests, coincidentally over a quiz of How to Tell if Your Man is Lying. "Do you swear that you love me, Edward? Tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God," I recited sweetly, my limbs languidly stretching to align our bodies flush against each other.

He straightened out his features into mock seriousness, affection softening the expression. "I do," he answered solemnly.

"Then I think we're in session, Mr. Cullen," I whispered, sliding my fingers down to the waistband of his slacks.

He grinned and took another bite of the apple in his hand. "I'd never dream of overruling you, Ms. Swan."

We're coming down the home stretch. Those that stuck with this little story and still enjoy it, you have my deepest thanks :)