Awakening

Chapter 18

Nice?

April, 201-; Junior Year

Norma Watson

"Be NICE! Join the NICE Movement and say no to bullying! YOU can make a difference!"

- NICE Movement flyer. Spring Semester, Ewen Consolidated High School.

"Wow! That's a really pretty skirt, Katie!" Emily Bourne said with feigned cheerfulness. "Did you get it at Target or Walmart?"

"Shut up," Katie O'Shea muttered as she brushed past the taller girl.

Just another typical day at Ewen, Norma Watson thought morosely as she watched her classmates filter through the hallway. Being witness to the drama that was teenage life was one of the many benefits of working at a student council fundraising table. High schoolers would probably eat each other alive if-

"Ahem!"

"Oh, Hi Jess!" Norma said, trying not to sound too startled. It wasn't becoming for a member of the student council to look scatterbrained – and it generally wasn't good for business, either. "Do you want to join the NICE Movement?"

"Let me get this straight," Jessica Upshaw said after skimming over the flier Norma had handed her. "You expect me to pay three dollars for a cookie and a sticker?"

"And a ribbon!" Norma tried to sound enthusiastic as she held up one of the blue ribbon pins. She was able to judge from the look on Jessica's face that it was going to be a losing proposition. "It's for a good cause. Bullying is a really-"

"Forget it. The cookies probably suck anyway." Jessica stalked off down the hallway.

Norma sighed and whispered to the girl sitting next to her. "You know, for a cheerleader she really has no sense of school unity."

"I don't know where she got that idea about the cookies from," Danielle Thibodeaux said as she casually unwrapped one of the blue frosted sugar cookies. "I think they're delicious."

The student council's NICE Movement hadn't exactly been a roaring success. For three dollars, each student who opted in was given the chance to sign the NICE Movement anti-bullying pledge as well as a cookie, ribbon and sticker proclaiming that they were either a NICE guy or girl. The goal had been to create awareness about bullying while attempting to foster some sense of solidarity among the students. It was also meant to raise funds for school activities, but that fact somehow lacked the sort of emotional impact the student council had been looking for. Norma couldn't vouch for the other two tables, but so far during her lunch period she had made a whopping 43 dollars – six of which were hers. She suspected that the need for a quick sugar-fueled pick me up was a major motivating factor for some of her classmates signing up. Still, she abhorred bullies and was happy to be part of the project.

Norma would have loved to have been able to take credit for the NICE movement, but the real credit belonged to a senior who read about something similar online and decided to introduce it to Ewen. She still jumped into the effort feet first, and was an enthusiastic participant – going so far as to even coordinate her outfit with the NICE Movement's color scheme. The blue frosted cookies had been her idea, and at the time she thought they would serve as the perfect ice-breaker.

It really is a good cause, but it takes more than baked goods, enthusiasm and sapphire-blue acrylic tips to stomp out bullying. People need to get involved and so far nobody seems all that interested.

"At this rate, we'll probably only break even," Danielle said as she crumpled up the empty cellophane wrapper. "I guess we can kiss the talent show and Junior class trip goodbye."

Norma rolled her eyes. Danielle was popular and probably couldn't remember the last time someone said a genuinely unkind word to her. She probably wasn't even really aware of how prevalent bullying was at Ewen. That's why we started the NICE Movement. Once you're aware of a problem, you can fix it. If people knew what was going on, they'd be more willing to do something to change it. If my classmates knew how hurtful they can be to each other, they'd stop.

Right?

Like most schools, Ewen High had its share of bullies and its student body was subject to the same dynamic between those who fit in and those who didn't that. The students from rich families picked on those who weren't as affluent, the jocks picked on the brains and everyone seemed to torture the misfits. Worst of all were the cliques. It was bad enough not to get along with an individual; it was a much bigger problem to contend with an entire group of hostile peers – and Ewen had no shortage of them. As far as Norma - and probably a sizeable chunk of the junior class - was concerned, it was Christine Hargensen's clique that seemed to stand head and shoulders above the others in terms of overt cattiness. Some time ago, Norma had dubbed them the Ultras and, at least in certain circles, the nickname had stuck. They were the pretty, rich and popular girls that just about everyone wanted to associate with. At one point, Norma had aspired to be one – to be a part of their fun. She was cured of that desire after watching them pick on other students one too many times – and having ended up on the receiving end of their games herself. They were nothing more than common bullies, and no amount of fun or fashionable clothing could cover up that fact. Norma knew she didn't want to be a mean girl, and that's precisely what the Ultras were.

Well, not all of them are mean. Sue Snell's my friend and Rhonda Simard is nice enough. Heather and Helen aren't too bad, either. Chris, though…

The popular students – including Danielle and her sister, Marie – usually had a much easier time of things and seldom understood what it was like for those who weren't as fortunate. Although she wasn't at the bottom of the pecking order, Norma knew in no uncertain terms that she had a long way to go before she could consider herself popular. She understood what it was like to be bullied, and was still periodically targeted by the more popular students. If it wasn't her looks, it was the fact that she was an avid participant in school activities or some other thing that seemed to get other people's backs up. Norma tried her best to bear each insult and snide comment with dignity and maturity. It still hurt, but it also served to motivate her to try that much harder to find her place.

It could always be worse, Norma thought as her eyes settled on Carrie White shuffling down the hallway to her locker. As bad as I might have it, there are others here who have a much harder time of it.

"You can almost picture a dark cloud hanging over her," Danielle whispered. "Do you think she signed up?"

"I don't know. Maybe she did it at Cindy's or Emma's table."

"You kinda can't help feeling sorry for her, huh?" Danielle checked her cell phone. She was only scheduled to cover her lunch period and would have to leave for her next class soon. That meant Norma would be all by her lonesome during the next period since she had study hall right after lunch.

"I do feel bad for her," Norma sighed, "but she really doesn't make it easy to get along with her. I mean, it's like she doesn't want people to like her. I don't think she really knows how to interact with people. It's just that… oh, I don't know. There's just something about her…"

Norma watched as the misfit juggled her books while she fumbled with her combination lock. As usual, Carrie was a study in awkwardness, and the whole affair was almost painful to watch. Around Ewen High it was taken for granted that whenever anything went wrong Carrie was usually nearby. She seemed to be a magnet not only for misfortune, but for mistreatment as well. As a rule, Norma tried to get along with everyone and had put a great deal of effort into connecting with as many of her classmates as possible. Although she would never openly admit to disliking people, there were a select few individuals she just didn't get along with. Carrie happened to be one of those people. Norma had tried to get along with her – to get to know her better. Her efforts came to naught, though. What frustrated her the most – and upset her – was the fact that she really didn't have a good reason to dislike Carrie. Sure, there were a lot of little things that pushed her buttons, but it wasn't as if she had given Norma justification to feel the way she did.

Fitting in is a two-way street. You have to make an effort. I've worked very hard to make the friends I have and I'm always trying to get along. You have to learn how to play the game. She just doesn't try.

"Oh, sugar!" Carrie groaned as she lost her grip on her books.

"REEETTTAAAARRRRD!" A varsity jock from down the hall called out. Carrie turned and briefly glared at her heckler but didn't respond verbally. Ever since the incident with Donna Kellogg, something had changed with Carrie. She had always been high strung and easily upset, but now it was as if her hair-trigger was already half pulled. She also seemed angrier than before.

Good, don't rise to it. Ignore it, Norma thought as she dug three singles out of her wallet. She was actually relieved when the strawberry-blonde succeeded in replacing her lock and slumped off towards her next class without further incident.

She placed the money in the metal box and picked out a cookie. Norma was a little on the chubby side, and although she generally didn't have problems with self esteem, she had become somewhat self conscious about her weight over the past month or two. One more cookie probably wouldn't hurt in any event, and she always had the option of working a little harder during her next gym class later that afternoon. Besides, Danielle was right. They were delicious.

"Do you really need another cookie?" Chris Hargensen and her entourage loomed over her. "It probably wouldn't make any difference at this point, but…"

"Yeah. You've really kind of put on weight recently," Vicky Hanscome chimed in. Norma's heart sank when she saw that Vicky was wearing a NICE Movement sticker. "I'm not trying to be mean, but you really should stop eating stuff like that."

Norma glanced around but didn't see Sue Snell or Heather McKenna anywhere. Sue was her friend and was usually able to keep Chris and the rest of the Ultras from going too far.

"Aren't you going to ask me if I want to sign up?" Chris purred as a cold, mirthless smile crossed her lips. "Don't you want me to sign your pledge?"

"Do you want to?" Norma tried to remain polite. There was no point in giving Chris the satisfaction of knowing that she was getting under her skin. "It's three-"

"No," Chris interrupted, her voice cold and steely. "But I am willing to do you a favor and buy a cookie. I figured that it would be better if there was one less laying around for you to shove into that fat face of yours."

"That's uncalled-"

"Not from where we're standing," One of the Wilson twins interjected. "Trust us; you really don't need the extra calories."

Chris dropped three crumpled up one dollar bills on the table and snatched the cookie Norma was about to unwrap from her hands. As she and the others turned to leave, she said: "One day you'll thank me for this."

"Yeah, when you're finally able to wear pants that don't have elastic waistbands," Vicky snarled before following the rest of the clique.

Norma felt her face and ears burn. Although it wasn't the first time someone had ridiculed her because of her weight, and she thought she had matured past the point where that sort of thing still had any impact. Norma had believed that she was immune to petty name calling. As it turned out, she wasn't. It hurt more than she thought it would. Perhaps it was the fact that she had been trying to do something to make the school a better place, or how casually cruel they had been, but she was thoroughly shaken by the time the Ultras had moved on. She felt her eyes burn with tears that she desperately didn't want to shed. Chris and her friends had gotten to her. They had won.

It's hopeless. This isn't going to change anything. How could I be so stupid as to think that dumb slogans and cheap mass-produced cookies could put a stop to bullying?

With trembling hands, Norma picked up another cookie and was about to open its wrapper when she stopped herself.

You heard them. You're fat enough as it is. Norma was occasionally prone to emotional eating, and that little voice that seemed to encourage her to binge when she was upset was howling. Almost without thinking, she slipped the cookie into her backpack.

Time ticked by, and only a couple of students stopped by her table. Although Norma wanted the NICE Movement to be successful, she was secretly relieved that she didn't have to pretend that everything was OK. She periodically checked the time on her phone, and willed it to pass quickly and uneventfully. After what felt like an eternity a senior came to take over for her. It was a relief to get away from that table. Whatever enthusiasm Norma had for the whole mess had faded away, and she just wanted the day to end.

Ten more minutes before my next class, Norma thought as she swapped out her books at her locker. Four more periods before I can go home and put this day behind me…

Out of the corner of her eye, Norma once again saw Carrie walk past. It was apparent that she wasn't having the best of days, either.

"Hey! Hey, Carrie!" Henry Trennant hissed at her in a faux whisper loud enough to be heard halfway down the hall. "Did Jesus visit you last night?"

"Yeah, did he touch you?"Billy deLois chimed in."You'd like that, wouldn't you? You do love Him, right?"

"What do you talk to Him about?"

"Are you dressed when Momma sees into your soul?"

"Does Momma touch you, too?"

"That's disgusting!" Erika Gogan slammed her locker shut to punctuate her opinion. "Give it a rest already!"

People had been making similar comments ever since Chris and the twins took it upon themselves to scan in and email portions of Carrie White's diary to the bulk of the student body. Norma had heard bits and pieces about how they happened to come into possession of her journal, and wasn't the least bit surprised that they chose to disseminate it to everyone. For a week or two, it had spread around Ewen like wildfire, and Carrie's reaction had been predictable. She had a fit the first time Chris and the others quoted from it in school. It had taken her a moment or two to put it together, but once she did she went absolutely nuts. Norma had laughed a little her at the time, in spite of feeling sorry for her. She realized that what was happening was wrong, but didn't speak up or say anything. After all, it was just Carrie White and this sort of thing was par for the course with her. Although she was fully aware of the fact that she wasn't popular like Jessica Upshaw or Sue Snell, she also wasn't a misfit like Carrie.

This time, Carrie's reaction was less than spectacular. Instead of dashing off in tears or becoming agitated, she simply lowered her gaze and busied herself in her locker. She was trying to look as if what was being said didn't bother her. It wasn't very convincing. After a moment or two, the boys departed, disappointed that they didn't get a bigger rise out of their target. Norma wasn't too surprised by this. After all, the law of diminishing returns applied to bullying just as much as it did elsewhere. A fleeting feeling of sympathy, mixed with something much less pleasant, washed over her as she watched. It was a sour sort of bitterness and disgust that she couldn't quite define. Norma didn't like it at all.

Revulsion, her stomach knotted as the weight of her realization hit her. That's what I'm feeling.

I'm a hypocrite. I'm no better than Chris or Jessica or any of the others. In my own way, I'm even worse than they are. They're at least honest about being mean. I act like I'm a good person, but deep down, I'm a coward. I laugh at people I think are beneath me. I make fun of people who are different than I am. And all the while, I smile and try to hold myself out to be some sort of saint.

Norma took a deep breath and approached Carrie. She wasn't really sure what she was going to say or do and was about to give up when she remembered the cookie she had stowed in her backpack.

"Umm, Hi!"

Carrie glanced over at her and resumed stuffing books into her backpack without saying anything.

"I-I just wanted to give you this and say that you shouldn't listen to them," she hoped that she sounded convincing as she held out the treat. "Just keep your head up, OK?"

"What did you do to it?" Carrie asked eyeing her. There was a slight accusatory edge in her voice, but it was almost entirely drowned out by exhaustion.

"Nothing! I just thought you could use a cookie!" Norma gently took Carrie's hand and placed the wrapped confection in it. "It looked like you were having a bad day."

"Please. Just leave me alone."

"Honest, there's nothing wrong with it. It's still wrapped, see?"

Carrie accepted the cookie and stared at her for a moment or two in silence. Pain was plainly visible in her soft, brown eyes. In barely a whisper, she asked: "Why do you care?"

"Because I do," Norma tried to give a reassuring smile. "I just do."

"Thanks," Carrie said. She wasn't exactly smiling, but Norma figured she'd have to settle for it. "It-it's really nice of you to think of me."

NOTES: I got the idea for the NICE Movement from the Kind Campaign – which basically was geared towards preventing girl-on-girl bullying.

I was kind of hoping to give a brief look at the some of the tension at Ewen High. I was also hoping to develop Norma a little more. In the book, she was somewhat nice – but a bit of a bystander.

Awakening? will probably be the next chapter, followed by Nice Girls? and the others.

Feedback is always welcome and feel free to contact me if you have any questions!