Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
XVI. The days after
"When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for a moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering, "Was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?"
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone..."
- John Mayer / Dreaming with a broken heart
Severus Tobias Snape hadn't slept for days, or at least no more than two hours a day. He was acting like a zombie, burying himself in work, eating just when he had to, rubbing his eyes fervently in order to stay awake.
For days, he had stayed in his laboratory, calling for Artie when he needed something. He hadn't even taken some time to shave, and it was the first time of his life that he had a three-day stubble. His face was prickly, but he couldn't care less. He was alone in his house with no one to look at him, after all.
"Artie!," he shouted with a hoarse voice, and the house-elf entered the laboratory on tiptoe.
"Yes, Sir?," she muttered, waiting for his instructions.
"Go in my bedroom, and take all Miss Granger's clothes. Put them in a bag, and go to her house to deliver them," he whispered, without even a glance for the elf. "Here is her address."
Artie took the little piece of parchment that Severus handed her, and eventually nodded.
"Artie is going to take care of it, Master Snape."
The elf left the room, leaving Severus alone for the umpteenth time of the week. The Potions Master didn't even know what day it was. He was sure that at least three days had passed since the sudden departure of the young woman; three days during which he had tried to decide whether he had to talk to her or not. Three days without going in his bedroom, because he was afraid to smell her perfume, to see her bra, or just a t-shirt. He didn't want to see anything related to her anymore.
He had received an owl, the day before. Artie had given him the parchment, and he had opened it as fast as possible, wondering if it was a letter from Hermione. In a way, it had been; it had been a letter from the Ministry, informing him that Hermione Jane Granger was no longer his apprentice. Another Potions Master had been appointed to her.
He didn't know who her new Potions Master was, but was it important? He just knew that he wasn't her Potions Master anymore, and it was enough for him.
For days, he had thought about this day when everything had changed. He couldn't really understand what had happened that day to make her leave so quickly, without even talking to him, without even seeing him for a last time. She had disappeared like a thief, in the middle of the night. For the second time of in life, Severus had been left behind by a woman. What had he imagined? That a young woman of twenty year-old would stay with an old man like him? He couldn't hold back a delusional smirk to appear on his face. Of course not; one day or another, she would have gone, leaving him alone in the misery of his house, and he would have continue to live without her.
Suddenly, he went out of his torpor, took his quill and a parchment, and wrote a few words on it. He called for Artie again, and the elf arrived one of two minutes later, dragging a heavy bag full of clothes behind her.
"Yes, Master?"
"Take this note with you, and give it to Miss Granger, please."
"Artie will do it, Master," the elf added with a little bow before leaving Severus for the second time. The gaze of the Potions Master followed her until she was out of sight, and he returned to his work, once again.
XxX
Hermione was finishing to put the only clothes that she had left at her parent's house in a suitcase when she heard a noise coming from the corner of her bedroom, behind her. With a quick movement, she turned around and her gaze encountered the little silhouette of Artie.
"Artie? What are you doing here?," she asked in a whisper, frowning.
The little elf was dragging a bag, and Hermione recognized her own clothes in it. She swallowed hard, waiting for an explanation from the elf.
"Master Snape told Artie to deliver this bag to you, Miss Granger," the little elf said in a high voice.
"Oh... Yes, thank you, Artie."
Hermione went to the elf in order to take the bag from her, and gave her a shy smile. She didn't know if she should ask anything else; was it a good idea to ask the elf about Severus? Did she want to hear about him, anyway? She had spent almost five days thinking about him, wondering what had been his reaction when he had understood that she wouldn't come back to his house. She had gone to the Ministry the day after, and they had appointed her another Potions Master, not without having asked her what had been her reason to quit her former Master. She had just said that she couldn't work with him anymore, since they had so many differences when it came to the work field. It had seemed to be enough for the lazy Ministry employee, fortunately.
She was supposed to work with Tilden Toots, a famous Herbologist whom she had heard about several times before. He was a Potioneer too, but Hermione wasn't sure about his knowledge in this field. Of course, he wouldn't be as competent as Severus, but he was her only hope to have her Potions degree at the end of the year.
The elf took a parchment in the bag of clothes, and handed it to Hermione, who took it with infinite care.
"What is it, Artie?," she asked before unfolding the piece of paper.
"It's from Master Snape. He told Artie to give it to Hermione Granger," the elf specified, looking straight into Hermione's eyes, causing the witch to swallow hard.
Her hands were shaking when she finally managed to open the parchment enough to see the fine writing of Severus.
"Hermione,
You did not give me the occasion to bid farewell to you. I guess that this is my last chance.
Good luck for your Potions degree.
Severus Snape"
Hermione bit her lower lip, closing her eyes in order to restrain her tears. When she finally opened her eyes, Artie was gone, and she let herself fall on her bed. She put the letter on her knees, and looked at it during long minutes; it was the end, it really was. They had said their goodbyes to each other, even if it hadn't been face to face. Gently, she let her fingers caress the parchment, as if she was trying to reach Severus' hand through the paper.
It was a pity to notice that they had gone went through so many experiences together, but that they hadn't been able to go through this last one together. "You ran away," her inner voice said, but Hermione shook her head. During the last several days, she had been thinking about what had happened, but she couldn't blame herself for everything. They were just too different. Twenty years her senior, Severus had been used to live like this, on his own. She wanted something different, and that was the problem. She hadn't thought about it in the first place, she had been busy to spend her days and nights in his arms, like a dumb teenager.
To live without him wasn't easy, far from it. Sometimes, during the night, she searched his warm body next to her in the bed; of course, he wasn't there, and she could only hug her pillow instead. It wasn't easy either not to change her mind about them and run back to Spinner's End in order to try to repair their broken relationship. But she had managed to refrain this desire until now, and she would continue to do so.
XxX
Hermione stopped in front of her new Potions Master's house, and took a deep breath. She hadn't brought a suitcase with her: since Tilden Toots wasn't supposed to take an Apprentice this year, he hadn't prepared his house to be large enough in order to welcome her. But Hermione was okay with this; this way, she could spend some time with her parents.
She knocked twice, and a tall man opened the door a second later. He seemed to be friendly, with his huge beard and the smile on his face.
"Oh, Miss Granger! It is a pleasure to have you as an apprentice, please come in."
Hermione followed him into the living room, and was pleased to notice that the decoration was far from Severus' living room. The room seemed to be cosy, with a lot of plants laid-out near the sofas and the bookcases. The wooden floor was a light color, and creaked slightly under her weight.
"I am sorry to disturb you, since you weren't supposed to have an apprentice this year...," she began, but was cut off by the Herbologist.
"Don't worry about it, it's a pleasure, as I already told you. To be honest, I thought that it was a joke when the Ministry sent me this owl, really," he laughed. "I was wondering how come a brilliant student like you would prefer to work with me instead of Severus Snape. This man is a legend when it comes to Potions. But well, I'm happy to work with you, so I guess that it's a blessing in disguise," he concluded with a wink.
Hermione tried to answer, but no sound came out of her mouth; it was hard for her to talk about Severus, especially after what had happened the week before.
Last night had been a complete nightmare. She had tried to sleep, but her thoughts were all about Severus and the letter that Artie had given her. Eventually, she had fallen asleep around four o'clock, and had woken up two hours later. There was no need to say that she was tired.
"Well, follow me, my dear," Tilden Toots said to her before heading toward a door next to a bookcase. "My laboratory is not really large, unfortunately, but it will do for this year. I don't plan to work on new potions, to be honest, but I hope that what we are going to do together will be enough for your examination."
"Talking about it," Hermione said while entering the little laboratory with lamps switched on all around the room, "Do you know when my first bi-annual examination will take place?"
"Around Christmas, I think. You will be able to choose a date, but you'll have to do it before the 5th of January if I remember well."
"Perfect," Hermione whispered.
This laboratory was the complete opposite of what she had been used too before. Even at Hogwarts, she had worked in dark rooms, just lit by some mysterious lights. Here, everything was bright, and there were plants everywhere, even suspended from the ceiling, as Hermione noticed when she looked up.
"Well, it's... different," she said when she noticed Tilden's gaze on her. "But it's an amazing laboratory, Mr. Toots," she quickly added with a smile when she saw him frown a little.
"Thank you, Miss Granger," he answered, quite proud of himself. "I guess that we can begin our work together, don't you think?"
Hermione nodded, and then, began her new work as Tilden Toots' apprentice.
XxX
A week passed, then another. Christmas was here earlier than she had thought, and it was the occasion to see her friends. The last time that she had had the opportunity to spend a day with all of them had been for her birthday, three months ago. She spent December 24th with her parents, and she went to the Burrow the very next day.
Harry and Ron knew about her sudden change of Potions Master, and of course, now all the Weasleys were aware of it too.
"So, Ron told me that you don't work with Severus Snape anymore?," Molly asked while cutting the meat, while Hermione was preparing the vegetables for the dinner.
"No, I'm not," Hermione answered, trying to hide her trouble. She didn't want to talk about Severus, to be honest. She had spent a month and a half trying to forget about him, and she had managed to do it, eventually. "I'm working with Tilden Toots actually, I think that you've heard about him..."
"Of course!," Molly said loudly, a smile on her face. "He's a great Herbologist, I listen to his show every week on the radio! It's such a good thing that Arthur brought this... Muggle object home a few years ago."
"Well, he's a good man. I can't say that I'm learning a lot of things when it comes to Potions, but, obviously, he's good in Herbology."
"But why did you leave Severus Snape then?," Molly asked, frowning. "Oh, don't tell me that he told you to go!"
Hermione shook her head, taking care not to cut herself with the knife. "No, absolutely not. It's just that we decided that our collaboration wasn't the best, you know."
"Mmh, Hermione... Don't try to protect this man, I'm sure that he did something bad which made you ran away," she said suspiciously. "Anyway, I guess that it's for the best. Now you are working with a nice man."
Hermione smiled at Molly, before looking through the window. The snow was falling on the ground in heavy flakes, and she could see Harry, Ginny and Ron playing together, throwing snowballs to each other.
"You can go and play with them, you know, darling," Molly said in a low voice, following Hermione's gaze.
"Are you sure that you don't need any help?"
"I'm sure, you already helped me tremendously. Go, enjoy your time with your friends," Molly said with a wink.
Hermione let go of the vegetables with reluctance, and went into the garden. Ron didn't wait for her to be ready, and threw her a huge snowball which hit her right on her chest.
"Ronald Weasley!," Hermione shouted.
"Oh come on, Hermione, don't tell me that you didn't expect that," Ron said with a laugh. "I'm sure that you don't want to play with us, so I'm trying to make you change your mind."
"Watch me," the young woman whispered before kneeling in order to prepare a snowball.
The four of them spent some time playing in the snow, and they stopped when their hands were almost frozen. Ginny then went close to Hermione, and took her by her arm.
"Well, Hermione, long time no see. What's up? I heard that a colleague of mine saw you a few weeks ago at St. Mungo's."
"Oh, yeah, I was... I needed to deliver some potions," Hermione mumbled while Ginny was heading to her bedroom, inviting her to do the same. They fell onto Ginny's bed, and it was with some relief that they removed their boots full of snow. A quick movement of wand was enough for Hermione to clean the floor.
"I suppose that you didn't have the opportunity to find yourself a boyfriend since your birthday, right?," Ginny asked with a smile. Hermione froze, but eventually shook her head.
"Not at all," she lied with self-assurance. "You know, I don't have the time to go out, I really need to focus on my Potions degree. But what about you?"
"Oh you know...," the young redhead blushed. "Harry and I... Let's say that we are not platonic at all."
"I already noticed that, don't worry. So...?"
"Well, we're kinda together, to be honest," she said, biting her lower lip and smiling at the same time. "We don't really want people to know about it, but I had to say it to someone. But you have to promise me that you're not going to tell it to Ron, or, even worse, to my mum. I notice how close you two were earlier...," she added suspiciously.
Hermione laughed. "I'm not going to tell it to anyone, Ginny, your secret is safe with me. But why don't you want to make things official with Harry? I mean, it's not like you two are really different. Everybody knew that something would happen between you two, trust me."
Ginny laid down on the bed, and sighed.
"Yes, I know...," she whispered, gazing at the ceiling. "But everything is so perfect this way, you know. It's not like we need to become "official" in order to share something bigger. I mean... We'll do it, eventually. But not now. Harry needs to finish his Auror training, and who knows? Maybe that soon, we'll not be together anymore, since we've got to spend at least another six months apart. We don't need to rush things," she concluded, lifting herself up on her elbow in order to meet Hermione's eyes.
The latter swallowed hard, while she was comparing her situation with Ginny's. Of course, it wasn't exactly the same, but she couldn't help but think about what she had shared with Severus. She managed to smile at Ginny.
"Yes, I totally understand. Take all the time that you both need, and I'm sure that it will be worth it in the end."
"I'm so happy that I told you this, Hermione, you don't know how hard it was to keep it for myself," Ginny sighed.
"Well, trust me, I can imagine," Hermione retorted, her lips pursed.
Without even noticing the embarrassment of her friend, Ginny quickly got up and went towards her desk, where Hermione's parchments were scattered. She took one of the first parchments into her hands while Hermione was rolling her eyes, and read it out loud.
"Dear Miss Granger," she began, deepening her voice in order to sound like a Ministry employee, "we are pleased to let you know that your bi-annual examination will take place on December 28th, at the Ministry, floor six. The Wizarding Examinations Authority will receive you, and your Potions Masters, Mr. Severus Snape and Mr. Tilden Toots."
"Ginny, put this back on the desk, please..."
"My, my, I'm not sure that you are going be pleased to see Severus Snape again," Ginny grimaced. "It's just three days from now, are you sure that you are ready for this examination?"
Through clenched teeth, Hermione nodded. "I'm dreading this examination, but I have to go through it anyway, so..."
"You'll manage, I'm sure of it," the redhead girl said with a smile. "But for now, we have to get ready for tonight. It's Christmas, Hermione, let's celebrate!"