Chapter 26: To Tell a Joke
Author's Note: I apologize in advance for the truly bad jokes I'm about to foist upon you. Fred's POV.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Goul.
Goul, who?
Goul find your brother!
They'd been inseparable from birth. Hell, they'd been inseparable before birth. Their mother had long since stopped trying to understand how one always knew where the other was. They just always did.
What's the worst season to be at Hogwarts?
Finals season.
They'd never admit it (except to each other), but they really were just a tiny bit frightened their first day at Hogwarts. Not nearly as big of wrecks as little Ronniekins was, of course. But they forgot all their fears by the end of their first week, when they found a secret passage behind Gregory the Smarmy.
What do you get a pet dragon for Christmas?
A flame-retardant ball of yarn.
Sure, they were troublemakers. Yes, they had a drawer to themselves in Filch's cabinet. Obviously, they weren't like Bill, or Charlie, or Percy, or even Ron or Ginny. But there pranks were all in good fun. Mostly.
What do you call a potion that repels repellant teachers?
Snape-be-gone.
They might have gone too far with Umbridge, but then, the old bat had deserved it. And much, much more. Besides it gave them the perfect opportunity to test out some of their inventions on someone other than themselves.
What do you get when you cross a pygmy puff and a werewolf?
Tiny pink and purple tufts of fur.
Despite how blase they acted, they really were gobsmacked by the success of their shop. In their wildest dreams, when they were experimenting with filched ingredients and scrounging up money however they could, they never imagined it would turn out this well. But it sure was nice to finally be able to pay their parents back a little, after all of the grief the two had caused them.
What do you get when you let down your guard for a split second to joke with your brother in the middle of the biggest battle the wizarding world has ever seen?
A laughing ghost.
He wishes he could blame Percy (it's not like he got the chance to do that very often). But the fact was, it was his own damn fault. Everyone had always said that he and George didn't seem to realize that there were times when joking wasn't appropriate. He wishes he had listened. Maybe then he'd still be laughing.
He hopes George keeps laughing for him.
Next: The Other Half of His Soul